167: Weston Smith | From Gay Mormon Missionary to Survivor
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- Опубліковано 21 вер 2024
- Weston Smith came out as gay while his dad was serving as a bishop in the Mormon church. His parents were understanding, but navigating life a gay Mormon teen, trying to better understand your sexuality, and remain the “best” Mormon possible is often a recipe for disaster.
Weston was no stranger to the turmoil that often comes from being gay and Mormon-a situation, for Wes, that led to serious suicidal ideation.
Wes ultimately decided to serve a mission as an “out” gay Mormon, but even in the mission field the suicidal thoughts persisted. It was there, on his mission, that he resolved to leave the church and live an authentic, happy life.
After leaving his mission early and finding complete familial support, Weston has thrived. He recently published a memoir titled, ”This Body of Water”, detailing his journey and what the future looks like for him.
A copy of Weston’s book is available at WestonSmithBooks.com.
#LatterGayStories #ThisBodyofWater #WestonSmith #Love #Honesty
Weston, your velnerable beauty shines through and will be so appreciated by the one who will share your life. When I was a teen I also knew that I was gay and my Catholic answer was to become a priest, so I joined a missionary society where I would live a celibate life and serve the
people in a Christlike fashion. My guard was down and at 22 I fell in love with another seminarian, also gay and destined for the priesthood.
The Catholic Church could never accept this, and as we wanted to share our lives together we both left the seminary, and abstained from the
Church. We built our life in Toronto as a couple within the neighbourhood, with our exposure to many of our neighbours as their first contact
with a gay couple. This great love lasted 54 years and I lost him in Sept. 2022. You can be a great Christian in your own community and show God's love to your neighbours....that was Rick's and my mission once we left the organized Church. May it also be yours, in a long life
of love and happiness.
Weston was my companion for 6 weeks in Brazil. He was also one of the first missionaries I was really able to know during my second transfer.
He was a great companion and we ate a lot of pizza together. Lol. He is smart and would spend a lot of time explaining things to me. I was able to understand him more when he let me read a book he had, it was Tom Christofersson's book. It opened my eyes.
I love and support Weston. It's really great to see him using his experience to inspire others, like me. Thank you for sharing this!
Let me guess you two spent more time in the same bed then in separate beds, right? You both are degenerate!
Looks like some great books and supoorters
He's good looking
What a beautiful guy x
I have an 18 year old son named Weston. I love him dearly. So your story popping up on my feed caught my attention. My heart hurts when hearing your story, and hearing of how you felt on your mission, etc. The current culture is shifting away from homophobic comments, albeit probably too slowly. I think one thing that is lacking in all of society is good ol fashion empathy. I don't mean sympathy. My use of the term "empathy" is deliberate. Many people seem to be able to sympathize but sympathy is too hollow and without substance. Empathy I think is developed. It takes work and effort and love to try to understand what others go through. There are those in the church that empathize. And I remain hopeful that more and more members will develop this lost God-like characteristic. Empathy is an attribute of Christ. He connects with people at a deep level of understanding and love. This is where we need to arrive in order to appreciate the real struggle others go through and that currently remains misunderstood and thus there seems to be an attitude of preaching with fear-inducing comments that hurt rather than with gentleness and love. That struggle is exacerbated by a culture of judgements. It doesnt even have to be harsh judgements to cause pain. I would even suggest that what appear to be loving and gentle comments concerning LGBTQ that is mixed with judgment and "obey or be damned" phrases can be painful, especially when so eagerly offered before trying to sit and understand what these are LGBTQ brethren and sisters go through. I'm sure its a tough balance for the church leaders and kudos to them for the great efforts they go through. I think the language in how we address these LGBTQ topics can definitely change in a way that increasingly shows the gentleness and love of the Savior. I think he wants us to love and care for each other deeper. You matter Weston. Those of us who love you for being you need you to stay here and help this world be a better and safer place. Your unique self and talents are needed in the church and the world. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing very personal things. God bless you.
PS I can’t get over how beautiful your hair is!
This is one of the most effective interviews I’ve seen as an expression of pain. The message is clear that high control religions do damage and do nothing but damage to their marginalized members. I don’t know what a Mormon testimony is exactly, but you are testifying here! Please continue to speak out for the GBT Q + community. I hope you flourish!
This strong young man with his sweet soul really touched me with his story. My husband and I have been together for 25 years. Things are better than they once were, but we still have a long way to go.
Such a heartfelt story. It is an illustration that there are good things flowing from the internet. For me, nothing was available. I can relate to the feelings of Weston.
What an amazing young man! May your life be filled with much happiness!!!
Such a strong, articulate and mature young man. Blessings Weston
WOW, what an amazingly articulate and kind young man. Very grateful that he shared this obviously painful story and so glad that he has been able to make his way toward the rainbow community and experience a sense of belonging and self-love 🏳️🌈 I am looking forward to getting a copy of his book sent all the way to Australia 🇦🇺
Weston, I received your book "This Body of Water" two days ago and read it through non stop...I'll read it again in a few months. You are an excellent writer and have so much to offer...your story was like an emotional roller coaster ride making me cry and smile in quick succession. I hope going forward your life is full of love and boundless joy and happiness. My companion and I have had 43 wonderful years together and you deserve the same.
Very passionate and honest testimony Weston, i have been where you were to a tee, life was just too challenging not being able to be me and be accepted, loved and understood. You made me cry as i listened to your heartache because you describe exactly how i felt then, my family were deeply religious, 24x7 we were never allowed to be ourselves, i refer to the place where i grew up as "the prison" because it was, no love only judgement, strict Christianity in a backward sect. I was a square peg in a round hole with no way out and all alone, i have lived threw hell my friend and lived to be me. love light and blessing to you Weston always, remember "you are always beautiful on the inside" mirrors can be deceiving, it depends on the LIGHT. XXX
Weston,
You rock. You are so incredibly brave to even be interviewed on air. I went through so many of the exact things you did and more. I had hoped that stuff had changed in the church, but it all seems the same. I'm 60 now and both me and my partner of 25 years are both RM's and dealt with so much. It was so hard for me being a District Leader having to help send two missionaries home for gay feelings/actions, knowing I dealt with the fact I was gay. Here's to you, and I hope your story helps other young gay people through their struggles.
He's adorable!
I cried watching this because it reminded me of my own story. It made me realize things about myself that I now remember but at the time didn't really see. Being a gay teen was not traumatic for me but there were things going on in my mind that I now realize changed me in a way that I hadn't realized until now.
Of the many stories I've listened to on Gay Morman Stories and Mormon Stories, this one touched me deeper than I expected it to. His stark honesty was shocking and painful. What a beautiful young man and I wish him well. I will be reading his book soon. Thank you.
I read his book in one sitting after watching the mormon stories interview. I cannot recommend his book more. It will make you cry and smile and it gives the great relief to hear the thoughts many of us have denied having. Grateful to have found these interviews and this author!
Great interview Kyle!
My hat off to the host -- for the tact, wisdom, and fluid, correct English (that becomes increasingly rare, unfortunately)!
Thank you.
Strong personality ,Weston, a real survivor!!
Thank You Dear Kyle for hosting You podcast. ❤ I first met You with John Dehlin on Mormon Stories. I will follow Your site now. Gentle Blessings to You 🙏♥️
Weston you are very articulate and well spoken young man! I do feel compelled to share with you that nothing of your experience is your fault! Please stay safe and keep hope alive!
Dearest Weston- you are loved!!!
So very glad you survived. You inspire me. One of the saddest things is to see one so beautiful as you, articulate and intelligent not experiencing your awesomeness and glory really tears at my heart. I'm SO happy that you shared yourself with us. God bless you.
Wow! 47k have benefitted from the moving and informative interview. Thank you, Weston! Thank you, Host! Well done - now for the book! 😍
You ARE INCREDIBLE and LOVED!!!! WE needed this and thanks for being so transparent and raw!!!!
What an honest, loving human being! Im looking forward to finding and reading this book!❤❤❤
Dude: you rock. You're authentic, emotionally honest, and just plain real. This world needs and wants you and folks like you.
Compare this kid with George Santos, an apparent fabrication of a human in search of power and fame...Weston, thank you. How often is it that an eighteen-year-old writes a book?!
I wish you the best, kind sir. And I'm so glad you didn't give up, didn't dismiss or end your life.
The world is a better place because you held strong somehow despite the urges to end it all. There is love in me for you. Wishing you all good things.
Hey Weston, what a story, good luck.
What an amazing survivor, and easy on the eyes, too! What a misguided world (church) where a "Child of God" feels so unloved and under-appreciated. Enjoy your resilience and thrive. We love you!
So glad his parents accepted him, thinking his experience with parents is probably the rare one in the church!
Westin, you are an incredible young man and as a former member of the LDS Church I can imagine what it must have been like for you. Your story touched me deeply and I wish I had known you then to provide a safe place for you to come to. This was a great podcast and you have my respect. Thank you. I will always have an ear to listen if you need one.
Great show and wonderful guest.
What a handsome young man.
Thank you, Weston, for sharing your story. I am glad you were able to walk through the door and found the acceptance, light and love that are on the other side.
Thank you, Kyle, for another powerful interview.
My former wife and I lovingly separated and divorced over twenty-five years ago, following a fifteen year mixed orientation marriage. All these years later, we continue to find support in so many corners, including mainline Protestantism. My husband and I have nearly twenty years of history together.
It does get better!
Blessings!
Thanks you Weston for your light. You are beautiful and inspiring! I see so much love in you Weston, may it continue to flow and grow.
Thank you Kyle also for your compassionate and thoughtful conversation.
heartbreaking finale. Dear dear Weston, I am so glad you got through the worst time of your life, it really is better now, you should continue to do public speaking.. .. that is your mission. you can save lives that way.
I grew up in the church, The Presbyterian Church and I can tell you it's no different. I was also teased relentlessly at school in High School. Called pansy as I was not the macho kid who hated sport but could sing and loved being on stage. I had no one to talk with either. You just draw strength from somewhere. I wish I could bottle it and help younger people like Weston now that I'm an older out and proud gay man. Well done Weston keep up the good work of spreading your story.
Great share. Articulate. Ridiculous what church leaders put on others. You are a blessing and you are good enough and more.
Thank you for sharing your story! Even though I am 40 years older and grew up in another church I went through very similar experiences - first love, so pure and innocent, and the message from the church that I was wrong and sick. How can such love ever be wrong!? I pray that you never give up searching for the Source of Love, and that you find a way to express that treasure in a real way in this life! You are loved!
I am so grateful Weston that you survived. Thank you for sharing your story, it is very inspiring😊 PS I plan to order a copy of your book., God bless you!
The pain of religion is soooo deep. Stay strong, Weston. Thank you for your honesty. I have cried with you throughout this conversation. I`m so glad I survived the assembles of god.
One of the best interviews I have ever watched. Can't wait to read Weston's book. What an incredibly intelligent and articulate young man. How can people and institutions not realize how wrong it is to do such harm to our children. In fact, I'm just editing this comment to mention that I finished reading Weston's book. It is a courageous story, one of the most heartfelt books I have ever read. Like others here have expressed, I'm so grateful Weston has lived to write it and wish him the best life going forward.
to find that special someone that you can connect with is priceless, best of friends and ultimate trust is the key, male or female.
A great story. A bit off topic - he is so adorable 🥰
Weston, you are an amazing young man! I teared up many times thinking how you are a child of God and he has so much love for you, and wants you to be happy. God is about love. He is not a punishing God - he created you! Be free to enjoy your life as you see fit. Marry and have a family! Your parents instilled great moral values in you, so go forth to live your best life! Kyle, you gave great insight at the end, and have such a gentle way with all your guests! Your podcast is most likely saving lives and offering hope! 😊❣️
You obviously don't read the scriptures .God is love but also states " vengeance is mine" Los of examples that God also takes vengeance on the disobedient.
@@Susan-hk7uj - I am a very devout Christian, and not Mormon. Quite to your misconception, I read the Bible daily (the Catholic Bible with ALL 73 Books, 46 Books of the Old Testament and 27 Books of the New Testament) and have read the Bible throughout my entire life. What I cannot do is judge - that job belongs only to God. Jesus’s greatest commandment is to love one another. We must care for one another with charity and love as Christ would do, and leave the rest for God to take care of on the final day of judgment. We are all sinners…and we hope to make it to Heaven. God’s peace be with your spirit.
@@Susan-hk7uj Yet if you were born in Arabia, you would be a muslim wearing a veil. Born in India, likely a Hindi. Born in Israel, probably a Judaism believer. Oh, there's only one that's right isn't there?
No consistency in religion but one sky daddy? What's going on? Science is the same everywhere in the universe!
Oh, the one group without evidence, is fake. Fake stories. No sky daddy, only 13.8 billion years and 93 billion light years across. Gawd's got much more important things to do if it were real, but everything screams evolution and never creation.
Thanks for sharing. I totally relate to compartmentalizing and shutting off part of your brain to make it through. The freedom that comes when your beliefs and your reality can finally align. It’s still a journey though.
So powerful! Thank you for telling your story so lovingly!
Thank you Weston and congratulations to you also. In some ways we have a very similar experience...
What a beautiful young man....and a beautiful spirit. To Weston....I hope you have found that special someone who will love you as you deserve and who you will love. I'm ordering your book as soon as I finish writing this. I believe a loving God will guide us to the one he intends for us to love and cherish and so hope he has done that for you.
Thanks Weston this podcast and your book will help many young men. I have gay nephews, niece and a friend 'e son and a femalè i once cared for like she was my child. You have courage and strength. I am a non Mormon. Actually i am a Catholic in Canada. I want to believe we are more open and accepting of the gay community. You will find someone to love and share your life with and experience happiness. Yes you can have children too. Many gay couples have family's. ❤❤ Hugs keep Strong.
Remember WESTON GOD MADE You, He loves you just the way you are. I am happy you got to experience a Gay Parade.
Dear Weston, I relate fully, if even from a much older generation. God bless you. You are Beautiful and a strength for everyone!
Great presentation! A wonderful man that through his life's journey it is influence positively to other men that encounter the same road to become authentic and true. I will get the book. Thank you, Weston! I ordered the book to receive it soon.
You are an amazingly gifted person making a positive impact on your fellow human beings
What a sincere and reflective young man. I am not a Latter Day Saint, nor religious for that matter, but I can still empathize with Weston. I have been out for over thirty six years and there have been both wonderful and horrible experiences. However, I would not be who I am today without those emotional experiences. He is also very fortunate to have such caring and nurturing family.…To use the campaign cliche, ‘It does get better!” I wish Weston the best in life moving forward. 😊
What a beautiful young man. I am an Ex LDS now an atheist,
Always heart-warming to se someone able to turn horrible events in there life and make it to motivation to do something good. a sort of therapy and at the same time help others, if this interview, if your book, Weston, will help even one kid out there it will be enough, if it helps 100 then awesome. but i think it will do even more than so. these videos, books, and story's helps steer the society in a better direction and that will help thousands in the long run. Keep up the good work and thanks for making a better world!
WOW Weston! You are Awesome. Love Yourself, love who you are. I hope you find a Nice Man to Love you for who you are. Happy Gay Future. XXXX
I truly find this young man so adorable. I absolutely loved the podcast on Mormon stories of their whole family, they seem to be just amazing people!!!
I'm a gay ex Mormon who served an honorable mission in 1978-80. What a different world now. I came home & immediately left never to come back. Clean break. Convert at 18- missionary's knocked..a year later on a mission. Pretty much faked my mission without ever reading the book of Mormon. So I grieve this guy's story. I'm 64 now, Loved my mission experience however in Nevada at 19 yrs old
Interesting David. I was a convert at 19. In hindsight I realize I was searching for meaning. Like you I enjoyed my mission. Returning I found myself in a world I could not relate to. I wanted to continue in the church but found it too staid, I realized I was not welcome. I did not conform to the Mormon mold. There was no room for independent thinkers. Finally I moved on with my life .
An amazing story about how violent coming out of the closet is/can be! Thank God that you are still alive and sharing the story of your journey.
May you find love and the love of your life as you journey forward into greater light.
I understand how you feel and know what you went through, I even joined the church's conversion therapy which really messed me up. I needed spirituality but thankfully my doctor sent me to find meditation /Buddhism which has really helped and given me spiritual but scientific answers and a journey to peace and self-acceptance. if you are struggling with the church this is the route to follow :)
Loved every minute of this talk. Im 75 grew up in small midwest town. Pretty similar experiences. Thank you
Wow - this one's gorgeous too! I just wish I'd known about this channel sooner!
EMOTIONS ARE NEVER WRONG
I look at Weston and listen to Weston and feel a breath of fresh air. I am grateful for his courage, authenticity, intelligence, understanding and deep insight. In this interview, he steps back and looks at the LDS Church, Christianity, religion and society with an objective perspective and sees them for what they are: enemies of individuality, free thinking and a healthy, natural life. They are not life affirmative; rather, they are life deniers. They are not truly alive, awake, aware and alert, and they don't want anyone else to be either. The words "patriarchy" and "hierarchy" are tells.
When Weston express his natural feminine qualities and characteristics including clothes, hair, painted fingernails, posture and gestures, he shines and radiates good vibrations.
You are of the post-2000 generation. Your life has both immense challenges and opportunity that earlier generations did not. You have a choice in your life’s path.
Wow outstanding story and very brave and handsome sweet guy. Here in support ❤
Dear Weston , you are such a beautiful , Pure Soul. You will find your Soul Mate. And when you meet him , You will recognise him immediately. May you be blessed.
Weston, I am a Catholic. My prayers are with you as you work your way to
salvation. You are an amazing young man but like all of us you are created to Almighty God who loves you, so as you navigate through life call on He who made and totally loves you.
I love your story you’re so authentic man ignore the poverty just follow your heart thanks for being brave and embrace the gospel and we love you wentons!watching from croatia 🇭🇷
I have had the same thing when I was 23, and actually tried it myself, Jesu saved me that night
Excelente testemunho o teu. Desejo que sejas feliz. Isso é o mais importante. Vive a liberdade e ama quem tu quiseres porque Deus é amor.
WOW he has AWESOME hair!
Wes you are such a beautiful person. I want the best for you in this life. I felt all the same things on my mission. I wish I had your dad.
Love hearing other guys thoughts
Weston, thank you for sharing your experiences and I look forward to reading your book, its in my kindle. I understand your experience. I lived similar experiences under other religious/military dogma and societal norms of the 1980s and 1990s Wishing you the best, namaste 🙏. Kyle thank you for creating/ facilitating these chats. Its great there are resources like this and Tom Daley was able to encourage a league footballer Jake Daniels to come out. Amazing how far society has come and the work still needed. Thank you both for all you are doing, I greatly appreciate your efforts. In addition to Weston's book, Mama's Boy A story from our America's by Dustin Lance Black is another well versed and insightful experience.
Listening to this young man; intelligent, kind hearted, honest with others and himself, I find it hard to understand those who preach love while destroying such a beautiful soul. I am not religious; I am an agnostic gay man who has seen more than one good person destroyed by what they claim to be good. I admire those who keep the Faith in the religion that has made them suffer so much. That is why I like to hear these life testimonies. It takes a special soul to forgive so much.
You’re a blessing. Jesus loves you so much Weston.
Good for you, Weston. You’re already pretty, so just stay courageous and strong, and true to your heart and your convictions.
We all have a internal battle for what we are what we are here to do.......the mental strain can be enormous. when i was just 12 yrs old i knew i liked boys more than girls, cant explain it i just connected with boys. and am more comfortable around males than females......my boy friend died of brain cancer we where together for 7 yrs and it was awesome, miss him sooo very much!
I have never had another BF dont know......i am 60 now and lost jason about 5 yrs ago. so many great memories together. do i give my heart to another....maybe we will see....
when I came out in the mid 90s there were only a hand full of churches in a given large city who were open to the lgbt community. the vast majority of churches and religion were very anti gay. however many people were not religious and yet there were still tons of anti gay rhetoric. one of the things that had to be realized is that you were going to be disliked by most of society for who you were. however this a was trend that started to change in the late 1980s due to AIDS and how that disease impacted gay men as well as how many men were outed due to the leathel disease. Back in those days it was not an option on coming out before you left home otherwise being kicked out into the street was almost guaranteed. the church was the leader and still is in many cases of causing hatred against the lgbt community even for those who are not even religious. but those of us who came out back in those days knew that we only had one choice and we really did not care about the risk. what got me through those early days was community and fortunately there was some of it where I worked and lived. some of my distant friends back in the days of high school did not make. they took their own lives. god bless, be strong and be brave. best of
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Repent! Leave the LDS cult, and repent of your homosexual acts! The only option for you is celibacy!
@@michaelcaza6766
I’m not a mormon, and The Lord Jesus Christ can save anyone, even you
Weston Smith, you're adorable
A very moving testimony.
hi am gay and new here
Maybe the Mormon church needs to come into the 21st century. God loves us all no matter what we are. There are no exceptions! After all he made us! Wishing you every happiness for the rest of your life Weston. I hope you find love with the right guy. Really enjoyed this podcast. You are a very caring, intelligent man. Thank you. 😀
Weston I just found you and subbed. Thank you and the moderator as well. Weston you are the image and likeness of God in that you are trying to correct so-called organized Christian religions who have nothing in common with Jesus the Christ. You are saving lives and I am grateful and thank you. I am a counselor for youth who have the exact same concerns as you express here. Thank you and God continue to bless you and keep you safe..........Love and hugs........Ray
I loved tanner and Weston. I had feelings to comfort and love them .
Such a beautiful and amazing young man. I really love his view on himelf. I wish i could find someone exactly like him. He has a beautiful soul.
An amazing young man, well spoken and articulate. I just read the entirety of This Body of Water...well written and heart wrenching, and I understand after similar experiences. Hugs to all best wishes. I read Buddhism: Beginners Guide to Understanding and Practicing Buddhism to Become Stress and Anxiety Free by Michael Williams several years ago and it has changed my sense of being for the positivity I searched for.
Weston is such a beautiful person.
A brave young man to talk about this.
Best wishes to Weston!
Thank you Por sharing may sawe some young people life and The Most High can change things around shalom
I read the book. Really well written. He’s a talented author. (Kindle). 👍
I am so proud of you young man❤
Poignant and painfully honest - these words do not go anywhere near doing justice in describing Weston's odyssey from a life of turmoil and suffering to one with that's more true to his thoughtful, intelligent and loving self. His clear minded - dare I say "bloody minded since he refers to the Church having blood on its hands - recounting of the near murderous damage the LDS inflicted on him and its members is truly shocking. His ongoing determination to hold that inhuman structure and ideology to account only endears him more to me. From whatever source/s this warrior for truth and justice derives love and support to keep him going, may they sustain and nourish him through the rest of his life's journey.
beautiful guy❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Glad you've got the courage to be yourself 😃
One imagines nowadays with so much information online and in the news that young people would not have to go through the trauma that gay men went through years ago when there was little if any easily accessable information on gay lifestyles especially when organised religion was involved in our lives. But clearly, at least in the States, The Mormon religion still has a strangle hold on young people who realise that they are attracted to the same sex and it is so difficult being a teenager in any realm so to deal with such a strict body of laws and expectattions is so damaging. If I had been in the room with you I would have wanted to hug you and reasure you that you will have a mostly happy life as you have begun to realise. I was born Catholic and had very similar feelings of being unable to talk to anybody. I was 21 before I finally began the road to talking about my feelings to others and I was 28 before I told my parents! I remember my first Pride in London with 250,000 gays and lesbians and the feeling was wonderful! You are a really cute looking guy with a big heart, too late for me but I know you will find someone special as I have. Well done and god bless.
Wow. I have had a life like that and still got so much from this. When I was young it was the Roman church that harmed us so much.
He looks like Leo Dicaprio when he was young. So cute!! Jest saying. Doesn't hurt to state the obvious in life sometimes.