I can't believe I came across this episode! I am an exmormon who grew up in Bremerton with a submarine captain father and I am a staunch LGBTQ ally. This couldn't hit closer to home. This family and this podcast are an inspiration and a light in this world. Thank you all
I know I’m late to the “party”on this but Kelly’s youth story is GUTTING me. Saying he was the lost child - hoping to find someone who’d love him as much as he loved them… it would devastate me as a parent to ever think my child felt like this. This man is truly brave… not just bc of his military accomplishments but bc of his willingness to be vulnerable.
I've never been a mormon (these stories fascinate me) - but my dad was on the USS Seahorse & USS John Marshall. I learned so many things about boat life I never got a chance to ask him - so thank you Kelly for your service, and your time in these interviews. Cheers.
Kelly, when you said "I hope to find someone that loves me as much as I love them." From a very orthodox Mormon family, even though I'm the oldest of 6 children, this brought me to tears at my desk at work, and I can honestly say this has stood out to me the most out of all the stories on this chanel I've listened to. Thank you.
I love this story, so much Grace in the family. Thanks for sharing. I'm not and have never been Mormon, but I'm Christian and all the stories fascinate and move me. 💖
Everytime I think you've hit a pinnacle interview John you get someone like the Laing's whose story is crushingly good, heartbreaking, heartwarming and delightful to mentally engage with. Thank you Laing family.
Wonderful to hear from Heather and Kelly! My son is a mid at USNA and has huge respect for you! I’ve heard what an amazing, compassionate, and FUN leader you were! Best wishes on your next chapter!
Such an awesome interview, Heather and Kelly. It was a privilege to be able to serve on the Maine while you were in command. You were indeed extremely TBM while I was there, but it’s so great to see you able to flourish outside the church now! Eagerly anticipating the next parts of your Mormon story 👍 - Former STS1(SS)
INTERVIEW a mormon biologist. Early 90's at Sunstone conference, a mormon biologist from Johns Hopkins gave a slide show about all the physical differences of male and female. Outer differences of all sorts, inside the body differences of so many varieties, it blew our minds. Once you know that you can never ever "judge" again
My mom doesn't share very often, but my Marine dad passed his pilot exams largely because of her cookies. But, we could (and did) skip Mass when he was away, so the church stuff is impressive. Women are the backbone of military service. Go Heather!
It's allways fun to hear AFN eagle from Wiesbaden. "You can get childcare like the locals after 75 years" "Domestic violence related offers" "Make sure your spouse knows where your documents are" "Military barks are in worse condition than any legal rental off base" "Meet the locals, this batch speaks English " Not fun to imagine why these points need to be on air every week
Heather and Kelly hold a dear dear place in my heart. Anyone pondering whether to listen I promise this will be incredibly insightful. The Laing’s are the epitome of “Family First” and will offer a powerful perspective. Love you guys ❤️
I appreciate how even tho he doesn’t agree with the church anymore, he still shows so much love and gratitude for the loving members and friends he met while being a believing member.
I listened to this beautiful story while at work (massage therapist) and now I am watching it on my tv because it is that good!!!! I don’t know this family but I have love for them!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@Kelly, your story you shared about doing the moral thing when it came to dealing with the situation of that soldier and Don’t ask Don’t tell, as a fellow human being, I felt your moral compass deep in my soul! I’m so glad there are men like you out there, to model what humanity and morality is❤
This has been a really eye-opening episode for me. My father was a submarine officer for the US Navy before I was born and stayed in the Navy outside of submarine duty until I was 10 years old. He went into helping many organizations fix problems after his military service, including as a civilian for the US Coast Guard to try to help them recover from the Deep Water scandal. Kelly talking about how submarine crew and leadership are known to work as much as possible rings so true to me. He was never on submarines in my lifetime. But he was already at work before I woke up in the morning, got home from work after 7pm, and fell asleep nearly every day continuing to work at home. Rinsed and repeated every single day. Was proud that he never took a single day of leave in 20 years of service. I had a father who lived at home. Who until today remains married to my mother. But I never really had a *dad.* And my mother never really had a *partner.* And it broke her and twisted her into an abusive monster. I wish my father had some of Kelly's emotional intelligence. My father is still alive but we haven't spoken for years. Because I'm transgender. And because I have the questioning attitude my father was supposedly taught, and that rubbed off on me. But my father couldn't handle it when he was the one being questioned. Because he never saw any signs that I was trans. But how can you see signs in your child that you didn't spend time with? I'm glad Kelly doesn't seem to be much like my father. It seems like his kids got a dad. And that's really cool. It warms my heart.
After my husband died the ward boundaries changed. My child came out as trans. and wanted me to post it on fb. I reminded him that members of the church were my friends. He didn't care and the sunday school teacher from my old ward typed a response. Shesaid, "we can't all be God's children" that made me mad and i told her that we are all God's children and that we are not suppose to judge. I didnt realize how much bigotry and racism was in the church. That is when i started having quiet doubts about what the church is about. It hurts because there are a lot of great people in the church. I'm now conflicted and am having a hard time. I will watch the G.C. and see what they have to say. I will listen to the spirit very closely. It will tell me how much i believe. This podcast has taught me a lot. Thank you
Thank you for your service. Your entire family. Since I was a boy I have always thought that Nuclear Sub commander is the job with the highest responsibility of any in all of history. Amazing respect for you and your family and all your sacrifices for our freedom.
When my sister had her second child, her husband, was unaware his son was born for 9 days, because they would not send any other message than "mother and baby are doing well" to a submarine on a mission. So much respect for this family. Thank you for your sacrifice! Because growing up in a Navy family, I comprehend the level of sacrifice for the family and the servicemember! My brother in law is still in the Navy, I want him to hear this, but not the first 2 hours....
@mormonstories and @Kelly, My grandfather Harold Morri was a Tuskegee Airman and started the first chapter with a fellow Airman in Seattle. @John you are right there was an experiment called the Tuskegee experiment that basically infected a lot of the black people of Tuskegee with syphilis and didn’t treat them and made them sterile. I’m very proud of my grandfather and the other black soldiers that fought
You hear members speak of ex-mormons as though they are disingenuous and deceitful. Listening to this podcast I don't know if I've ever heard a more honest and true a narration of Life events.
I speak of ex-members as lost and have let go of the rod of iron or maybe never had a true testimony of the gospel but I let them choose where they feel most comfortable. Do the same for active members!
@@LizzaJo you got that right! Super righteous, magical underwear that I wear 24/7 because I want to. It’s a promise I made to try to follow the gospel. It’s my 2nd skin and I’m proud to wear them.
@@jennifernelson7235…..I used to be you. Be careful. When you finally do see the truth, it will rock your world! It’s not an easy road….it’s been anything but easy. No, I didn’t want to drink coffee, I can’t stand the taste! I didn’t want alcohol, I was raised by alcoholics…..it was hell! Don’t want to be anywhere near drinkers, smokers, junkies, etc. I liked the ‘underwear’ too…..I never had a problem with it, ever. But when the church posted the Gospel Topics Essays, I was disgusted by the lies…..and how they excommunicated people over the years for having questions on those very topics. The church would always tell people that those things were lies….now we find out years later, that it was the church that was lying! People were excommunicated for asking about these topics…..only to now find out that these things are TRUE?! That is a very cruel thing to do to people! To cause families to be torn apart over these excommunications……and then years later, finally posting these things on the official church website?! Disgusting! Now, I look at ‘LDS church members’ as being ‘lost’. They are wilfully ignorant….some, just simply don’t know. But of those who do know the truth, and yet choose to stay and live with the lies? Now that’s lost.
Excellent interview! I love this family! Kelly! I love how you love and lead your family.You are a class act.Thankyou for your military service.So very humble! Thanks for going to bat for your kids. Love from Minnesota!
I know what it's like to be forgotten. I and my brother, the one that is just older than me, were the youngest of six. We were not the spoiled ones that got all the attention. We were the tagalongs that were a burden to parents that didn't have much left to give. We both grew up feeling like a burden. Both of us developed a discomfort in asking for what we need, let alone for things we might want. I had to call my mom every day to pick me up from school and sometimes twice because she would put me out of her mind almost as soon as we hung up the phone. She worked from home so I suppose she was too busy. The first time I had to call her twice she thought it was humorous that she forgot me almost as soon as she hung up the phone. I didn't see the humor in it. One day I didn't call her because I wanted to know how long it would take before anyone would remember me. When the sun was setting, my dad just happened to be driving by my school and thought he would check. I suppose I should have tried the experiment again but I guess I knew enough. One night about 8 years ago, I knew I needed to go to the hospital because I was bleeding so much. I didn't want to burden my fiancé with sitting at the hospital all night so I didn't ask him to take me. My second thought was to tell him to check on me in the morning to make sure I was still alive, but I chose not to do that either because it might make him worry about me and then he wouldn't be able to sleep. I put his sleep ahead of my life! In the morning I told him to take to the hospital. When I walked in with my fiancé the lady at the desk in the emergency entrance took no time to put me in front of everyone and get me right in. They took my blood and the doctor told me he didn't know how I walked into the hospital. I know this is crazy as f**k and yet I still struggle to ask for things I need. People need to stop having too many kids. Bringing humans into the would, just to be obedient to a system that only has it's self interest in mind, isn't doing the children any favors.
People who have that many kids need a different support system, even when it happens. I was very happy being Au pair, rather than forced to take care of siblings like many people from such large families report and would like to point out that these types of support structure be it family, friends or staff are an option it huts to see kids go without. Nearly none of my friends want to birth kids but I expect they would hold their word and support mine like their current baby siblings and cousins, allowing me to imagine raising more than two kids.
I'm only an hour in and hearing about the authoritarianism of Kelly's dad is boiling my blood. His attitudes and worldview represents the most reprehensible phase of Mormonism. The Kimball/Benson/McKonkie era is a blight on 20th century Mormonism and to hear it all embodied in one man on a power trip just makes me so mad.
I've been listening to Mormon stories for about a year now. I was never Mormon, but I did have a close friend in school who was. Usually I listen because I am facinated by this religion, and because I can relate to some of guests' experiences with purity culture. This episode, though, is really interesting to me because of Kelly's description of his work with nuclear submarines. I currently live near Cherbourg, France, where there is an industry that builds nuclear submarines that are used in France and around the world. We frequently visit a local museum with a French nuclear submarine. My 6 year old loves it and has said that he would like to work on a submarine when he grows up.
I love this family!! Their story is so interesting and the love they have for each other radiates off my television. I had no idea submarines were so fascinating.
I sought this episode out because Kelly and I share a sister in law. (My wife's sister and Kelly 's brother are married with 9 kids) While I have met Kelly's parents, this gives me a little more insight into some family dynamics that have affected my nieces and nephews. I was also camping with his brother shortly after Kelly left the church and had some interesting conversations. His brother did not know that I had already started my own deconstruction at the time. I had a similar upbringing to Kelly and my wife's was more like Heather's.
Thank you for that! Seeing the effects of the church and my father on my brother and his family is a painful thing to watch. Congratulations on your deconstruction and new life. 4 years have passed since we left and we are the happiest we have ever been.
What a strong woman Heather is, military wives are amazing! The military absolutely empowers women😊 wish I would have had this confidence and strength in my younger years raising kids. Thank you for your story Heather and Kelly❤️
Heather your description of yourself was spot on from what i remember growing up! You were and still are one of the sweetest kindest people I know. Kelly i had no idea that is what your life was like growing up! Super hard core makes me sad to hear it. You hid it well!
Kera You are really coming on as a great cohost I love how You are really coming on as a great cohost I love how comfortable you are With your audience and seriously enjoy your Contribution to the show
I watched these out of order, 3 first then 1 just going to start 2. So many tears watching so far both happy and sad. What an awesome couple. Beautiful.
I never grew up with religion and that doesn't bother me. However I love listening to your stories podcast and the amazing people you interview. ❤ from Australia
EPIC. I remember seeing your TikTock! I’m sorry I wasn’t in the Annapolis Ward while you guys were here. I love Coach Ken and it saddens me that he along with so many others are still giving so much energy, like we all did, to the controlling corporation that was our life. I have such nostalgia listening to the latter part of your interview as we sponsored midshipmen for many years. What you did for them is incredible and I’m jealous of the home you got to live in! I’m so sorry it was such a horrible experience for your kids. Their interview was so raw & real. Incredible how we can heal with love above everything else.
I grew up one county (which was very Italian & Irish with a number of Jews but few Protestants) above New York City in the 1970s & 1980s, and I went to public school and we had Sunday school (which we also called it CCD as I was raised Catholic) in the church basement on Sunday mornings. In middle school, it was moved to a week day after regular school let out but then after 7th grade it was moved to the evenings. However in the mid- to late 1990s I taught at a Catholic school on Long Island one county east of NYC, but it was different from my experience with CCD growing up not too far away in the same state & the same ethnic & socioeconomic situation. The Catholic public school children got released early & bused to the Catholic school during the school day. Plus the non-Catholic students had to stay at school but could not be taught any substantial that the Catholic kids would miss.
Kelly Laing you and your family are more disciples and true decuples of Christ than many shallow LDS members who can not understand the Grace of our Lord. I have learned and trying to eliminate any judging inclinations in my heart, I have no right to judge because I am not wise enough and my heart isn't big enough.
The response by his parents when he was forced to confess his “sin” of masturbation is heart breaking. This ridiculous religion (and I think all of them are ridiculous, not just Mormonism) has messed up so many people.
@@pdailey1950 Pat, may I call you Pat? There are a great many philosophies to draw on in this world to construct a moral framework. The most basic inspiration for me was a beloved uncle who embodied kindness and generosity to the poor, children, and the widowed. He claimed no Christian sect but lived the best values of Christ as I understand them from my years of experience in the religion. And yet his salvation and the disposition of his immortal soul was questioned AT HIS FUNERAL by the “preacher” officiating. That was the end for me thank goodness. Be kind and try not to hurt others is a pretty good moral framework and covers most situations.
@@pdailey1950 bless your heart. My uncle was not a Christian. Kindness and generosity are not exclusive to Christianity. The level of arrogance required to claim that kindness had to be learned from a Christian is ludicrous.
@@pdailey1950 well in truth he did the opposite of what was shown to him. He wasn’t a racist and a homophobe and he treated everyone equally. The Christians around us were too busy judging anyone not the right color and anyone they suspected of being gay. So yay I guess. They did provide an example of what NOT to do. I’m grateful I had him so I would know what not to do.
At last! A family who are/were LDS & Military! This is the story of my family and know there are many military families who are active members out there. Thank you!
1:58:00 Missionaries need better living conditions. The church can afford it. Between one and half a billion would dramatically improve all the housing, pay the utilities, and pay the monthly fee for every missionary.
I really don't understand what they have in mind sending young americans to places with such bad living conditions in Brazil, specially in São Paulo, where they could live in better places and work as a missionary the same way.
The Tuskeegee syphilis "study" was a major topic in some of my college classes. I don't believe there was a direct link to the airmen, but it was men of color in the Tuskeegee area that were affected, so it's also not impossible there would be overlaps.
I'm surprised when you were talking about the advantage of 'nuclear' submarines, you didn't mention a major reason is they can go out on long missions without having to refuel. WWII submarines were diesel and had to be refueled often. Otherwise, I enjoyed this session. During my 4-year Navy tour, early '5os, I served on a WWII-built destroyer during the Korean Conflict.
I LOVE the Laing Family..the Dad & Mom are so loving, compassionate and empathetic.. My admiration for all..especially to Dad..having been raised Mormon..Mission...Temple Marriage..Served in 3 Bishoprics..ALL hiding in closet..I left the Church ..divorced..counseling..met & married my Husband 30 years ago..I'm a Father of 4 Adult Children..5 Grandchildren..I feel so relieved and happy..and free to love unconditionally.. The Laing Family are all welcome in our home in Olympia , Washington ANYTIME..and join us in The Pride Parade
Wonderful enlightening Interview! I love what Kelly says about the military, war and peace. I am German and I am very aware of the fact that I owe my growing up in peace and in a democracy to the Intervention of the American Military during World War 2. I think this proves Kelly's point about the military being necessary to avoid war quite well!
America has been at war 93% of the time since 1776. The difference between ‘declared war’ and warring is insignificant for all those whose lives are destroyed by the almost non-stop wars taking place.
Years ago I was an OTR truck driver The co-driver that the company paired me with was a Mormon BTW I'm openly gay. It was an interesting pairing. His kids couldn't do anything unless he told them they could. Out of all the co-drivers I had with this company I enjoyed him the most.
(3:35:05) "Mormons, in general, do not do good in the military..." This may generally be true...but the same can be said regardless of one's religion when you have high standards. It still all comes down to your own inner strength, conviction and code of ethics... as also with this submarine commander. I had good and sometimes great relationships with my shipmates (in fact, I ended up baptizing four of them during my years in). As a VERY TBM sailor, I never had an issue with the environment surrounded by profanity, pornography, smoking, drinking, even some drug use, and... of course... the womanizing and prostitute-frequenting that went on in port. It wasn't always easy... but was never a big issue. For once you know a principle is true and right... and builds strength when followed... you'd be a fool not to follow it. You just gotta stand up for yourself. But nothing I endured at sea matched being forced to realize, after deeply studying the Church and its claims for five years, just what a fool I'd been for believing it all. Nor could it match being forced by that knowledge to resign my membership and walk away... leaving the Church, most of my friends and almost all my family behind. Doing what's right, regardless of difficulty, isn't always easy... but, regardless of religion and, in fact, in spite of it, doing what's right in seeking and following the evidences is all anyone can do in Life who takes its lessons and import seriously. While no longer a member, yet these standards of remaining addiction free and following true principles have remained foundational to my self-esteem and inner strength... and that inner strength is what we need to succeed in life... and in seeking, finding and following the evidences leading to the truth of all.
I grew up as a gay member in Blackfoot, Idaho. It’s always interesting to hear about others like Heather’s uncle because we were so invisible. Anyways, I really enjoyed this episode and I’m looking forward to the boys’!
@@pdailey1950 I still don't understand you. You assume to know the word of God or the bible. That is a big assumption. The Bible is so contradictory and so open to interpretation. Do you believe Moses wrote the Pentateuch? Do you believe Moses even existed? Are you willing to make other people suffer and be marginalized for some vague references from thousands of years ago, on a completely different society?
@@pdailey1950 I have. Reading Leviticus, Deuteronomy and Joshua paying close attention to all of it is what started breaking my shelves. I believe in God, but not in God the way other men tell us to believe. The one I experience. Not the misogynistic, narcissistic and abusive one portrayed by men with an agenda calling themselves the only ones able to communicate with God.
I can't believe I came across this episode! I am an exmormon who grew up in Bremerton with a submarine captain father and I am a staunch LGBTQ ally. This couldn't hit closer to home. This family and this podcast are an inspiration and a light in this world. Thank you all
It’s sweet and heartwarming seeing how lovingly Kelly looks at Heather when she’s talking.
The Mormon church is doing a great job at pushing away the best and the brightest.
But not the richest!
I know I’m late to the “party”on this but Kelly’s youth story is GUTTING me. Saying he was the lost child - hoping to find someone who’d love him as much as he loved them… it would devastate me as a parent to ever think my child felt like this. This man is truly brave… not just bc of his military accomplishments but bc of his willingness to be vulnerable.
I've never been a mormon (these stories fascinate me) - but my dad was on the USS Seahorse & USS John Marshall. I learned so many things about boat life I never got a chance to ask him - so thank you Kelly for your service, and your time in these interviews. Cheers.
Kelly, when you said "I hope to find someone that loves me as much as I love them." From a very orthodox Mormon family, even though I'm the oldest of 6 children, this brought me to tears at my desk at work, and I can honestly say this has stood out to me the most out of all the stories on this chanel I've listened to. Thank you.
If this man had been my father... He restores my faith in humanity.
This story about his service is amazing. Thank you for your service. So grateful men of this caliber are protecting us.
They inspire me to have this relationship with my husband. The way they speak about each other is just 🥺🥰
I’m not sure I’ve ever met a man that loves a woman more deeply and more intensely than Kelly loves Heather and vice versa.
I love this story, so much Grace in the family. Thanks for sharing.
I'm not and have never been Mormon, but I'm Christian and all the stories fascinate and move me. 💖
What a beautiful family. So much respect to this family for their service. We need to respect all religions. Thank you for your story.
Everytime I think you've hit a pinnacle interview John you get someone like the Laing's whose story is crushingly good, heartbreaking, heartwarming and delightful to mentally engage with. Thank you Laing family.
I totally agree.
My same thoughts!!!
Agree totally.
Wonderful to hear from Heather and Kelly! My son is a mid at USNA and has huge respect for you! I’ve heard what an amazing, compassionate, and FUN leader you were! Best wishes on your next chapter!
I am so moved and inspired by Kelly and Heather. So much to absorb and process. Thank you for speaking up and sharing your story.
Such an awesome interview, Heather and Kelly. It was a privilege to be able to serve on the Maine while you were in command. You were indeed extremely TBM while I was there, but it’s so great to see you able to flourish outside the church now! Eagerly anticipating the next parts of your Mormon story 👍
- Former STS1(SS)
INTERVIEW a mormon biologist. Early 90's at Sunstone conference, a mormon biologist from Johns Hopkins gave a slide show about all the physical differences of male and female. Outer differences of all sorts, inside the body differences of so many varieties, it blew our minds. Once you know that you can never ever "judge" again
I've heard so many times over the years: "Navy wife - hardest duty in the US military." Heather has my upmost respect.
Let alone a submariners wife! That’s a whole different level!!
My mom doesn't share very often, but my Marine dad passed his pilot exams largely because of her cookies. But, we could (and did) skip Mass when he was away, so the church stuff is impressive. Women are the backbone of military service. Go Heather!
It's allways fun to hear AFN eagle from Wiesbaden.
"You can get childcare like the locals after 75 years"
"Domestic violence related offers"
"Make sure your spouse knows where your documents are"
"Military barks are in worse condition than any legal rental off base"
"Meet the locals, this batch speaks English "
Not fun to imagine why these points need to be on air every week
Heather and Kelly hold a dear dear place in my heart. Anyone pondering whether to listen I promise this will be incredibly insightful. The Laing’s are the epitome of “Family First” and will offer a powerful perspective. Love you guys ❤️
THE Mike Rowe? The Dirty Jobs reference during Kelly's story is really making me curious 😀
Mike Walter lol…. Nope
Although I consider myself “THE” Mike Rowe
A. Pilgrim extremely odd comment to me. How do you define family first especially when it comes to providing food, clothing, shelter, etc etc…?
I appreciate how even tho he doesn’t agree with the church anymore, he still shows so much love and gratitude for the loving members and friends he met while being a believing member.
I listened to this beautiful story while at work (massage therapist) and now I am watching it on my tv because it is that good!!!! I don’t know this family but I have love for them!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Kelly and Heather restored my faith in humanity, family, and marriage (especially marriage in military)
Kelly should be in charge of the Mormon corporation. Imagine his principles of command and the changes that could be made in this company.
I'm loving all the upfront statements within the first 15 minutes! That's a very smart & helpful move! I hope to see more of that in future episodes
@Kelly, your story you shared about doing the moral thing when it came to dealing with the situation of that soldier and Don’t ask Don’t tell, as a fellow human being, I felt your moral compass deep in my soul! I’m so glad there are men like you out there, to model what humanity and morality is❤
Thank you Jessica!!!
It had me in tears. Truly powerful!
The way they love each other is awe inspiring!
This has been a really eye-opening episode for me. My father was a submarine officer for the US Navy before I was born and stayed in the Navy outside of submarine duty until I was 10 years old.
He went into helping many organizations fix problems after his military service, including as a civilian for the US Coast Guard to try to help them recover from the Deep Water scandal.
Kelly talking about how submarine crew and leadership are known to work as much as possible rings so true to me.
He was never on submarines in my lifetime. But he was already at work before I woke up in the morning, got home from work after 7pm, and fell asleep nearly every day continuing to work at home. Rinsed and repeated every single day. Was proud that he never took a single day of leave in 20 years of service.
I had a father who lived at home. Who until today remains married to my mother. But I never really had a *dad.* And my mother never really had a *partner.* And it broke her and twisted her into an abusive monster.
I wish my father had some of Kelly's emotional intelligence. My father is still alive but we haven't spoken for years. Because I'm transgender. And because I have the questioning attitude my father was supposedly taught, and that rubbed off on me. But my father couldn't handle it when he was the one being questioned. Because he never saw any signs that I was trans. But how can you see signs in your child that you didn't spend time with?
I'm glad Kelly doesn't seem to be much like my father. It seems like his kids got a dad. And that's really cool. It warms my heart.
Wow, I'm just seeing this in February 2024 and I have so much respect for this family. They're amazing.
After my husband died the ward boundaries changed. My child came out as trans. and wanted me to post it on fb. I reminded him that members of the church were my friends. He didn't care and the sunday school teacher from my old ward typed a response. Shesaid, "we can't all be God's children" that made me mad and i told her that we are all God's children and that we are not suppose to judge. I didnt realize how much bigotry and racism was in the church. That is when i started having quiet doubts about what the church is about. It hurts because there are a lot of great people in the church. I'm now conflicted and am having a hard time. I will watch the G.C. and see what they have to say. I will listen to the spirit very closely. It will tell me how much i believe. This podcast has taught me a lot. Thank you
Thank you for your service. Your entire family. Since I was a boy I have always thought that Nuclear Sub commander is the job with the highest responsibility of any in all of history. Amazing respect for you and your family and all your sacrifices for our freedom.
When my sister had her second child, her husband, was unaware his son was born for 9 days, because they would not send any other message than "mother and baby are doing well" to a submarine on a mission. So much respect for this family. Thank you for your sacrifice! Because growing up in a Navy family, I comprehend the level of sacrifice for the family and the servicemember! My brother in law is still in the Navy, I want him to hear this, but not the first 2 hours....
Kelly is a phenomenal story teller!
Beautiful story. These people are so knowledgeable! Bless their hearts for exploring everything life has to offer!
@mormonstories and @Kelly,
My grandfather Harold Morri was a Tuskegee Airman and started the first chapter with a fellow Airman in Seattle.
@John you are right there was an experiment called the Tuskegee experiment that basically infected a lot of the black people of Tuskegee with syphilis and didn’t treat them and made them sterile.
I’m very proud of my grandfather and the other black soldiers that fought
You hear members speak of ex-mormons as though they are disingenuous and deceitful. Listening to this podcast I don't know if I've ever heard a more honest and true a narration of Life events.
I speak of ex-members as lost and have let go of the rod of iron or maybe never had a true testimony of the gospel but I let them choose where they feel most comfortable. Do the same for active members!
@@jennifernelson7235
Super Righteous underwear, right?!
@@LizzaJo you got that right! Super righteous, magical underwear that I wear 24/7 because I want to. It’s a promise I made to try to follow the gospel. It’s my 2nd skin and I’m proud to wear them.
@@jennifernelson7235 Smile - I'll leave you to it.
@@jennifernelson7235…..I used to be you. Be careful. When you finally do see the truth, it will rock your world! It’s not an easy road….it’s been anything but easy. No, I didn’t want to drink coffee, I can’t stand the taste! I didn’t want alcohol, I was raised by alcoholics…..it was hell! Don’t want to be anywhere near drinkers, smokers, junkies, etc.
I liked the ‘underwear’ too…..I never had a problem with it, ever.
But when the church posted the Gospel Topics Essays, I was disgusted by the lies…..and how they excommunicated people over the years for having questions on those very topics. The church would always tell people that those things were lies….now we find out years later, that it was the church that was lying! People were excommunicated for asking about these topics…..only to now find out that these things are TRUE?! That is a very cruel thing to do to people! To cause families to be torn apart over these excommunications……and then years later, finally posting these things on the official church website?! Disgusting!
Now, I look at ‘LDS church members’ as being ‘lost’. They are wilfully ignorant….some, just simply don’t know. But of those who do know the truth, and yet choose to stay and live with the lies? Now that’s lost.
Such an amazing story!!! Love this. I want to hear so much more! I hope they share more in the future. What an amazing family!
What great rollercoaster. And Kelly has such a nice way to keep you engaged, very interesting stories.
Wow, not just Mormon stories but human stories, parents love for their kids is greater than any institution, or should be, fabulous family xxx
This was a phenomenal interview. One of my favorites. ❤
To the woman who had the ignorant things to say to your son: Be careful who you hate, it may be someone you love.
Excellent interview! I love this family! Kelly! I love how you love and lead your family.You are a class act.Thankyou for your military service.So very humble! Thanks for going to bat for your kids. Love from Minnesota!
I am loving this episode! I like them all, but this one is excellent!
Wow, another beautiful family bravely shares their story. Thank you for your vulnerability.
I know what it's like to be forgotten. I and my brother, the one that is just older than me, were the youngest of six. We were not the spoiled ones that got all the attention. We were the tagalongs that were a burden to parents that didn't have much left to give. We both grew up feeling like a burden. Both of us developed a discomfort in asking for what we need, let alone for things we might want.
I had to call my mom every day to pick me up from school and sometimes twice because she would put me out of her mind almost as soon as we hung up the phone. She worked from home so I suppose she was too busy. The first time I had to call her twice she thought it was humorous that she forgot me almost as soon as she hung up the phone. I didn't see the humor in it. One day I didn't call her because I wanted to know how long it would take before anyone would remember me. When the sun was setting, my dad just happened to be driving by my school and thought he would check. I suppose I should have tried the experiment again but I guess I knew enough.
One night about 8 years ago, I knew I needed to go to the hospital because I was bleeding so much. I didn't want to burden my fiancé with sitting at the hospital all night so I didn't ask him to take me. My second thought was to tell him to check on me in the morning to make sure I was still alive, but I chose not to do that either because it might make him worry about me and then he wouldn't be able to sleep. I put his sleep ahead of my life! In the morning I told him to take to the hospital. When I walked in with my fiancé the lady at the desk in the emergency entrance took no time to put me in front of everyone and get me right in. They took my blood and the doctor told me he didn't know how I walked into the hospital. I know this is crazy as f**k and yet I still struggle to ask for things I need. People need to stop having too many kids. Bringing humans into the would, just to be obedient to a system that only has it's self interest in mind, isn't doing the children any favors.
People who have that many kids need a different support system, even when it happens.
I was very happy being Au pair, rather than forced to take care of siblings like many people from such large families report and would like to point out that these types of support structure be it family, friends or staff are an option it huts to see kids go without.
Nearly none of my friends want to birth kids but I expect they would hold their word and support mine like their current baby siblings and cousins, allowing me to imagine raising more than two kids.
I'm only an hour in and hearing about the authoritarianism of Kelly's dad is boiling my blood. His attitudes and worldview represents the most reprehensible phase of Mormonism. The Kimball/Benson/McKonkie era is a blight on 20th century Mormonism and to hear it all embodied in one man on a power trip just makes me so mad.
For real. 100% the same for me.
Those people are just the worst.
@@brycetomecek5065 not worse than the actual founder...rotten roots produces rotten fruit
Such a great couple. I loved this interview. Really looking forward to Britton and Mason's interview!
“Moral rightness does not come from an institution. Moral tightness is how we treat one another”
I've been listening to Mormon stories for about a year now. I was never Mormon, but I did have a close friend in school who was. Usually I listen because I am facinated by this religion, and because I can relate to some of guests' experiences with purity culture. This episode, though, is really interesting to me because of Kelly's description of his work with nuclear submarines. I currently live near Cherbourg, France, where there is an industry that builds nuclear submarines that are used in France and around the world. We frequently visit a local museum with a French nuclear submarine. My 6 year old loves it and has said that he would like to work on a submarine when he grows up.
I just love this couple, the entire family is amazing.
You guys are such a cute and beautiful couple! I appreciated being able to hear your story. Thank you for sharing!
I love this family!! Their story is so interesting and the love they have for each other radiates off my television. I had no idea submarines were so fascinating.
It Is an honor to hear this. Stay Blessed. PlymouthUK
I sought this episode out because Kelly and I share a sister in law. (My wife's sister and Kelly 's brother are married with 9 kids) While I have met Kelly's parents, this gives me a little more insight into some family dynamics that have affected my nieces and nephews. I was also camping with his brother shortly after Kelly left the church and had some interesting conversations. His brother did not know that I had already started my own deconstruction at the time.
I had a similar upbringing to Kelly and my wife's was more like Heather's.
Thank you for that! Seeing the effects of the church and my father on my brother and his family is a painful thing to watch. Congratulations on your deconstruction and new life. 4 years have passed since we left and we are the happiest we have ever been.
This family is so amazing and strong! Can’t wait to watch part 2!
I am in Kenya and Tanzania on vacation listening to this and am from the idaho falls area and am very proud of you two.
I adore this family!! Thanks for another wonderful episode, John!
What a strong woman Heather is, military wives are amazing! The military absolutely empowers women😊 wish I would have had this confidence and strength in my younger years raising kids. Thank you for your story Heather and Kelly❤️
Omg! I can't wait to hear part two. My anticipation is to much. 😁😊
Heather your description of yourself was spot on from what i remember growing up! You were and still are one of the sweetest kindest people I know. Kelly i had no idea that is what your life was like growing up! Super hard core makes me sad to hear it. You hid it well!
Kera You are really coming on as a great cohost I love how You are really coming on as a great cohost I love how comfortable you are With your audience and seriously enjoy your Contribution to the show
Hey thanks!
Ditto
I love her. Such a smart woman.
I watched these out of order, 3 first then 1 just going to start 2.
So many tears watching so far both happy and sad. What an awesome couple. Beautiful.
Thank you for your service! Both of you. Godspeed❤️
One of the most down to earth compassionate families I have ever known.
this is so wonderful - how love conquers all!
What an incredible story! Favourite episode ever. If I wasn’t already a monthly doner, this would definitely be a catalyst to bee one!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Imagine how cool it would be to have real life Jean Luc Picard as your submarine commander.
Make it so
I never grew up with religion and that doesn't bother me. However I love listening to your stories podcast and the amazing people you interview. ❤ from Australia
EPIC. I remember seeing your TikTock! I’m sorry I wasn’t in the Annapolis Ward while you guys were here. I love Coach Ken and it saddens me that he along with so many others are still giving so much energy, like we all did, to the controlling corporation that was our life. I have such nostalgia listening to the latter part of your interview as we sponsored midshipmen for many years. What you did for them is incredible and I’m jealous of the home you got to live in! I’m so sorry it was such a horrible experience for your kids. Their interview was so raw & real. Incredible how we can heal with love above everything else.
I grew up one county (which was very Italian & Irish with a number of Jews but few Protestants) above New York City in the 1970s & 1980s, and I went to public school and we had Sunday school (which we also called it CCD as I was raised Catholic) in the church basement on Sunday mornings. In middle school, it was moved to a week day after regular school let out but then after 7th grade it was moved to the evenings.
However in the mid- to late 1990s I taught at a Catholic school on Long Island one county east of NYC, but it was different from my experience with CCD growing up not too far away in the same state & the same ethnic & socioeconomic situation. The Catholic public school children got released early & bused to the Catholic school during the school day. Plus the non-Catholic students had to stay at school but could not be taught any substantial that the Catholic kids would miss.
This is one the best interviews ever.
This is an amazing interview, wish this family were my neighbors.
We’d take you! Thank you for the support and love. -Kelly
Really enjoyed this one. Very interesting stories from Kellys life.
Heather is just delightful.
Kelly Laing you and your family are more disciples and true decuples of Christ than many shallow LDS members who can not understand the Grace of our Lord.
I have learned and trying to eliminate any judging inclinations in my heart, I have no right to judge because I am not wise enough and my heart isn't big enough.
It is too bad this was recorded Sunday. I would love to hear their opinion of Elder Holland's remarks on Monday.
I'll see your apostle and raise you a Jean-Luc Picard.
Ditto, maybe a zoom call??? Please?!
Perhaps it may not be realized that this interview was planned, and Elder Holland's remarks were not known yet...
Such an amazing interview.
My father in law was a submariner for 28 years, recently retired. It’s a hard life for the family, for sure. Wonder if he and Kelly served together.
You are both amazing. Heather you are so strong to do what you do. Kelly also the most respect for you and your family.
Jean-Luc! I've been searching for so long!
The response by his parents when he was forced to confess his “sin” of masturbation is heart breaking. This ridiculous religion (and I think all of them are ridiculous, not just Mormonism) has messed up so many people.
@@pdailey1950 Pat, may I call you Pat? There are a great many philosophies to draw on in this world to construct a moral framework. The most basic inspiration for me was a beloved uncle who embodied kindness and generosity to the poor, children, and the widowed. He claimed no Christian sect but lived the best values of Christ as I understand them from my years of experience in the religion. And yet his salvation and the disposition of his immortal soul was questioned AT HIS FUNERAL by the “preacher” officiating. That was the end for me thank goodness. Be kind and try not to hurt others is a pretty good moral framework and covers most situations.
@@pdailey1950 bless your heart. My uncle was not a Christian. Kindness and generosity are not exclusive to Christianity. The level of arrogance required to claim that kindness had to be learned from a Christian is ludicrous.
@@pdailey1950 well in truth he did the opposite of what was shown to him. He wasn’t a racist and a homophobe and he treated everyone equally. The Christians around us were too busy judging anyone not the right color and anyone they suspected of being gay. So yay I guess. They did provide an example of what NOT to do. I’m grateful I had him so I would know what not to do.
@@pdailey1950 bye Pat.
At last! A family who are/were LDS & Military! This is the story of my family and know there are many military families who are active members out there. Thank you!
Beautiful couple. Amazing man. Wonderful wife.
Wow you got me 😭 with the letters story. Go Heather!!
1:58:00 Missionaries need better living conditions. The church can afford it. Between one and half a billion would dramatically improve all the housing, pay the utilities, and pay the monthly fee for every missionary.
But then they would only have 139 billion! This is an radical view point 😉
I really don't understand what they have in mind sending young americans to places with such bad living conditions in Brazil, specially in São Paulo, where they could live in better places and work as a missionary the same way.
Or how about using the money to help the locals.
lds Inc. = LAND BARRONS
They're not there to help anyone...
The Tuskeegee syphilis "study" was a major topic in some of my college classes. I don't believe there was a direct link to the airmen, but it was men of color in the Tuskeegee area that were affected, so it's also not impossible there would be overlaps.
Heather is super adorable. I love her so much. ❤️
I'm surprised when you were talking about the advantage of 'nuclear' submarines, you didn't mention a major reason is they can go out on long missions without having to refuel. WWII submarines were diesel and had to be refueled often. Otherwise, I enjoyed this session. During my 4-year Navy tour, early '5os, I served on a WWII-built destroyer during the Korean Conflict.
NoMo listening in ‘23 from BREMERTON♥️
I LOVE the Laing Family..the Dad & Mom are so loving, compassionate and empathetic.. My admiration for all..especially to Dad..having been raised Mormon..Mission...Temple Marriage..Served in 3 Bishoprics..ALL hiding in closet..I left the Church ..divorced..counseling..met & married my Husband 30 years ago..I'm a Father of 4 Adult Children..5 Grandchildren..I feel so relieved and happy..and free to love unconditionally.. The Laing Family are all welcome in our home in Olympia , Washington ANYTIME..and join us in The Pride Parade
I can't imagine how different the tone of this might already be if this had been recorded after Holland's recent remarks.
I know! And John even said "firing bullets," at beginning.
Acknowledging Heather’s accomplishments raising her family without Kelly, a single Mom has to earn a living.
When Kelly faces Heather, he looks uncannily like Patrick Stewart (Jean-Luc Picard)!😊
This is crazy.... his dad was my seminary teacher in arco.... I stopped taking seminary because of him... as did my husband
No way!!!! That is awesome! I am so totally empathetic of that! Rick is a total Douche!
Isn't that sad?
Health and wellness to all Lazy Learners!
Wonderful enlightening Interview! I love what Kelly says about the military, war and peace. I am German and I am very aware of the fact that I owe my growing up in peace and in a democracy to the Intervention of the American Military during World War 2. I think this proves Kelly's point about the military being necessary to avoid war quite well!
America has been at war 93% of the time since 1776. The difference between ‘declared war’ and warring is insignificant for all those whose lives are destroyed by the almost non-stop wars taking place.
Years ago I was an OTR truck driver The co-driver that the company paired me with was a Mormon BTW I'm openly gay. It was an interesting pairing. His kids couldn't do anything unless he told them they could. Out of all the co-drivers I had with this company I enjoyed him the most.
(3:35:05) "Mormons, in general, do not do good in the military..." This may generally be true...but the same can be said regardless of one's religion when you have high standards. It still all comes down to your own inner strength, conviction and code of ethics... as also with this submarine commander. I had good and sometimes great relationships with my shipmates (in fact, I ended up baptizing four of them during my years in).
As a VERY TBM sailor, I never had an issue with the environment surrounded by profanity, pornography, smoking, drinking, even some drug use, and... of course... the womanizing and prostitute-frequenting that went on in port. It wasn't always easy... but was never a big issue. For once you know a principle is true and right... and builds strength when followed... you'd be a fool not to follow it. You just gotta stand up for yourself. But nothing I endured at sea matched being forced to realize, after deeply studying the Church and its claims for five years, just what a fool I'd been for believing it all. Nor could it match being forced by that knowledge to resign my membership and walk away... leaving the Church, most of my friends and almost all my family behind.
Doing what's right, regardless of difficulty, isn't always easy... but, regardless of religion and, in fact, in spite of it, doing what's right in seeking and following the evidences is all anyone can do in Life who takes its lessons and import seriously. While no longer a member, yet these standards of remaining addiction free and following true principles have remained foundational to my self-esteem and inner strength... and that inner strength is what we need to succeed in life... and in seeking, finding and following the evidences leading to the truth of all.
He is a leader I would follow into battle.
Honestly the best Commanding Officer I ever had the privilege to serve under.
Same, and I am not even in the military 😂
Great episode!
A fascinating story and very moving. Does he actually talk that fast or is it the recording? 😊
Yep, I really do talk that fast😂. Been working on slowing my speech down my entire life.
I grew up as a gay member in Blackfoot, Idaho. It’s always interesting to hear about others like Heather’s uncle because we were so invisible. Anyways, I really enjoyed this episode and I’m looking forward to the boys’!
@@pdailey1950 what has this comment to do with anything he said?
@@pdailey1950 I still don't understand you. You assume to know the word of God or the bible. That is a big assumption. The Bible is so contradictory and so open to interpretation. Do you believe Moses wrote the Pentateuch? Do you believe Moses even existed? Are you willing to make other people suffer and be marginalized for some vague references from thousands of years ago, on a completely different society?
@@pdailey1950 I have. Reading Leviticus, Deuteronomy and Joshua paying close attention to all of it is what started breaking my shelves. I believe in God, but not in God the way other men tell us to believe. The one I experience. Not the misogynistic, narcissistic and abusive one portrayed by men with an agenda calling themselves the only ones able to communicate with God.