How to Make Him Chase You Again In Marriage & Long Term Relationships
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
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1.control
2.s/mothering
3.let him solve their own problems
4.selfishness. be yourself like you were before. Not only about him
5. No people pleasing. Say no no no whenever you authentically want to say no. Dont always be easy and good.
6.mystery. shut the toilet door
7.no waiting. Live your own life. Do your own thing.
8. No blaming no nagging but strong boundaries
9. Be easy to be with but hard to get. No nagging but not always available.
10. Look geminine. Wear clothes that he doesnt wear. Make him see you as other.
I wish I can give you a hug right now for this, It feels like it’s describing my life right now. My partner and I ended things three months ago, I feel like I’ve wasted 5 years of my life. I’ve tried everything to distract myself, but nothing works, I want him back
Father Akabu? How did he help?
Thank you for telling me about him, I just looked him up, and he sounds incredible. I’ll reach out to him immediately
I bet so many of us have been waiting for this marriage content! Yay!!
Nothing says 'I love you' more than loving yourself first.
Why do we women so often do that? Why do we tend to put them first? I think it's something we've learned growing up and something we do when expressing love.
This is so important!
Yes he’s important but I am and always will be first priority.
Ive changed my mentality so much because of you. I requested a video on marriage and I'm so happy you delivered! Please can you do more marriage videos - dealing with conflict/ disagreements, defensiveness and anger. How to deal being with sensitive men. I'm currently struggling a bit marriage can be hard sometimes
I’m right there with you. A guarded and sensitive man who tries to act tough and stir the pot for attention. Even negative attention if things are too calm and then he gets defensive. It’s really annoying.
Girlll we need more of this marriage content, tysm I’m so glad you did this ❤
More to come!
Yes please more marriage content! ❤️
agreed so good!
I am here for the marriage content! I have noticed a lot of creators who make this sort of content have it geared towards single or dating women. When you’ve been in a marriage for years and have kids you can’t just walk away when you feel you aren’t getting what you want/need because there’s more to think about than just yourself. I love hearing perspective and advice from other married people or people with experience in long term relationships.
I love that you titled this book “The New Rules”, the colours are also gorgeous. Whenever I bring a dating book out in public the titles are always blaringly obvious, so I have to be super descreet. I love that the title is almost like a secret code and I can bring this book around wherever I please without being judged.
Your content is amazing btw, thank you so much for all of your advice to all of us girlies ☺️🙏🏼🔥
Cannot be happier that I discover this channel, that you make this "Being Her" podcast. I hope you realize how much impact you give on us especially on me for not being naive, for knowing my worth and many incredible things I didn't know about myself & how the world behave. Thank you so much!!! please do take care of your health & be happy. Lots of love❤❤❤
also, the way you talk straight to the point gives me self assured🫡
“Reclining on the sofa and living his slob life” 🤣🤣 the way you describe the concept of mothering in a relationship is hilarious 😂
I thought that was hilarious bc we all know it’s totally accurate for some people
Margarita you have genuinely changed my life for the better, thank you for everything you do❤ You are incredibly gifted at what you do and I cannot wait to read your book!
I agree. 🙂
Pls limit the sponsorship to once in the videos . 2-3 times is too distracting. Hope you can positively implement the feedback.
Yes
I believe that she can do whatever she wants- put in as many ads as she wants. After all, we are essentially receiving free content. I wish you the best🙂
Just skip forward 😉
@@earayashe’s not telling her what to do. She was simply making a request/suggestion. To which I agree with.
Her content is superb but as I was driving to listen the ads did inconveniently throw my processing out of focus. Once I was actively listening and getting back into it, the ad would throw me off again. Causing me to disconnect with her message. It’s like if you were having a conversation with someone and then they suddenly change the subject on you while in a deep dialogue. Having it done multiple times, it then distracts you and your new focus is on…”are they gonna change the subject again or stay focused?”
Perfect.
I want to express my appreciation for you, woman! You’re literally like a best friend to me, the wise best friend every girl/woman needs in her life. Love you, you’re awesome ❤
please more on how to maintain femininity as a woman in a relationship (keeping bathroom stuff private, etc.)
Yes I agree thank you for the marriage video, I am currently going through a chapter in my marriage where he keeps saying really hurtful things, then when I set boundaries and take away my energy, he does not seem to care and acts like he is the vic. He even fights with me about how toxic I am and how I do this I do that. Never focusing on actually making me feel better. Honestly, I’d like to see a feminine energy video on dealing with disrespect. Like how to shut that shit down but still be true to myself.
Also side note, I am so guilty of mothering him our entire relationship, it goes back to childhood where I had to take care of my siblings while growing up. I’m just having a nightmare of a problem stepping out of that energy now he’s so used to it. He will say “ why didn’t you remind me” “that’s not kind” “that’s not loving” “that’s not a partnership”
Ask yourself before speaking, "Am I mothering with the words I'm about to say?" This will help you stop the pattern in its tracks. It's better to say nothing than add mothering to a relationship with a man. They will resent it, feel less confident, chase you WAY less and wonder why they don't feel as connected to you.
Also, you're allowed to leave the room when the hurtful things are being said. You can get up and walk out while calmly stating that you won't be talked to in that way. If you do this enough times he will learn that he doesn't have an audience for that behavior.
sounds like a loser mate no offense
@@dr.jenniferma3914 you are right, that is great advice thank you 😊
First, boundary setting is not about how to win an argument, “shut it down,” or have a mic-dropping moment. It is about how you will act if they do something. You’re clear, calm, consistent, and don’t debate it. “If you talk to me that way, I’ll remove myself from the situation.” That should not be something you say during the argument, but after things cool down. You just say, “I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us when we talk to each other that way; if you do it, I am going to remove myself from the situation. If I do talk to you that way, I’ll expect the same.” If he disagrees, Don’t argue about it, just say, “I understand why you might want to talk that way when you’re mad, but it isn’t good for the relationship, and the relationship is everything to me.”
Perhaps consider just saying, “I feel like our dynamic has gotten unhealthy. I know you’re used to me treating in certain ways, fixing things for you; but it isn’t respectful to you or attractive in me to act like I don’t trust your ability to run your life. I’m going to stop doing it from this point onward.” And if he says, “why didn’t you remind me,” “because even though you and I have seen a lot of relationships that look that way, it isn’t healthy for me to treat you like I’m your mom. I know you’ve got this.”
You also need to step back and see whether this person is even worth working with. See how they treat others. How often do they take ownership in conflicts with each other and apologize? How often are they the “victim?” How do they treat wait staff, their mother? Think about who they really are, not who you wish they were, and judge whether that’s a person worth your energy.
@@winspiff wow thank you as well, it’s amazing how people are so kind and helpful here, it feels like a community and I really appreciate the time and effort you put into sharing your insights. I will try this approach and y’all really helped me gain new perspectives.
Now I need to watch this specific video every week to remind myself to live my best life by myself and not to worry about no man. I do lots of negative things stated on this video cuz I’m always afraid my partner is going to leave me ( my dad left my mom as soon as my baby sister was born).
Ladies, Margarita is saying the truth. We can’t control the man, we should trust them. We should be busy with our own lives and be very hard to get. Stay our authentic selves, don’t change yourselves for a man.
That man is no guarantee be with you for your whole life, but you’ll always be there for yourself.
My partner is convinced I don't fart and I tend to keep it that way😉
I love how you titled your book in a way that keeps things private. I hate when I buy a book and have to try to hide the title. If you buy a book you dont want everyone to see something you're working on. You're supposed to be doing it naturally!! Lol
I love how you addressed not with lingerie 😂 that was my first thought when I clicked on the video “will I have to dress all sexy”
Thanks!
Your Cartier watch example completely put me on track .
I’ve been watching You for over a year now and I went through everything you published here :) It helped me to set my own rules for life. I feel I owe you to buy this book for everything I’ve learned so far for free. Thank You, I feel genuinely grateful ❤
I'm so glad!
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
Thanks
Dear Margarita, thank you so much for the great advice. I don't mind your sponsorships, if I don't want to watch them, then I don't have to, só I find it so sad that so many ladies are complaining about the adds in your videos because that's what makes it possible for them to get such great advice for free and also you get the income you deserve. But well, from the vibe I get from you in your videos, you don't seem like someone who will really care about this 😂 thank you once more ❤
Holding the new rules in my hand now, I can't wait to read it!! So proud of what you've achieved you deserve so much more success 💕 Your advice has literally changed my life. Hope you read this, but I'm really hoping for more marriage videos. I heard on one of your videos you said you struggled in the beginning of your relationship, I kinda relate to that I just hit the one year mark, and only now is it getting easier adapting to each other but I'd still love to hear more about how you navigated through that difficulty/ resolving conflict xx
I’d like a part 2 of this… how to be unavailable when you live in the same house, with kids? That part still sounded like separate household dating advice. I’m sincere and love your content!
I was my most feminine during pregnancy and maternity leave. I was vulnerable, accepted all initiatives from man, 0 clingy or controlling (I simply didn't have time for him). I looked good (at least other men thought so). I was never more ignored and neglected by my husband in my life than during this time. Once I got back to work and needed 0 help from him his interest came back. Too late. With that being said, all couples are different.
Wow
you saved my relationship. seriously
"How dare they know" "of our secret society that we've got going on here" 😂😂
Your advice is pure gold! I really wish I could have learned all this years ago, it would have saved me making many many mistakes in my marriage! Thankyou so much for all you do xxx
Beautiful book cover, very on top this year. When u didn't know what cover to do, was thinking about pink as is very popularly girly
Your deadpan humour is what makes me always come back to your videos 😂💕
feeling so lucky to be able to listen to your new audiobook on Spotify, but as soon as it’s available to buy in the US, I am getting it. It is so good.
Girl, you're my new best friend I literally make tea and enjoy your amazing videos ! Please make it longer or more often please ❤. Thank you so much 🙏🙏
I adore you! I have gained such a wealth of awareness and knowledge I didn’t know I was seeking till I watched your video on anxious attachment. You’ve been so helpful to me on my healing journey! ❤❤❤❤❤
I watch your videos repeatedly, your voice and advice is how I start my day almost every day, appreciate you bunches
Your channel is a gem. And I can’t wait to read your book tomorrow 💜💜💜
I love your videos and I adore your mind!
For me personally the sponsorships are fine. You don’t show us bs. Also you are giving us amazing information and life advice. For free! That is a privilege ❤️
Also I added the book to my Amazon book wishlist. Excited to order it after I finish the 3 books that I haven’t read from my last order.
you know you actually lean in when she says too. love this club
I do anything she says! ❤
Your book just arrived. I'm so excited to read them!! Also yess to the long term content xx
Yay! Thank you!
Congratulations on your book. I cannot wait to read it. And, that is a beautiful cover. 💖
I don't know how I found you, but I am so grateful! You are absolutely adorable and funny with advice that works! I love your work. Thank you for sharing it with me.
Great suggestion, advice 😍😍amazing 😘😘love you mam🎉🎉
Great video but felt a bit rushed in that I would love to see more detail which is supported by examples on the principles you talk about on detachment, ‘black cat energy’, self love etc in a committed relationship/marriage. I.e communication scripts to express that for those that need help setting the tone and getting inner dialogue and language authentic to their feelings in the marriage with their man. Thank you!
I hope you see my comment. I really love ur content, ur one of the few people who really made me change my mindset. I do recognize my behaviour like mothering and being anxious but i think we need real life examples more of each one. Please and thank you. I really appreciate your work
Got so much love & respect for you, sharing your pearls. Ladies, listen. She the real deal
Love this love you❤
May I add in general focus on yourself literally. Feel good in general and he will be naturally pulled towards your energy of delights.
Its ok when dont , be authentic that also feels interesting if not blaming him❤❤❤
but how? do you have advice on this?
Your microphone is amazing lol. And your voice would be good for like a documentary or something
You are hilarious! Love your vibe and wisdom 🪽🪽
I love this content about marriage and long term relationships, I purchased your book and it has helped me a lot! Thank you so much for sharing this knowledge!
Is this book any good for married ppl ? I’m considering buying it unless it’s mostly about dating
LOVE these sister chats! ❤
Holy crap. 3 sponsorships plus the book? Not today.. love the book but the sponsorships took the cake. Maybe when I have more time I can listen!
I totally agree. I will cut the ads from now on
Seriously? This person is giving you priceless information for free.
I'm so excited and yayyy I can't wait to read it and the pink is gorggg
lmaooo clever title as well! rules to slay the day
Very helpful. Thank you
You are AMAZING!! I just love these tips. Thank you 💗
so i am not in a long term relationship~ i actually have a question about a first date but its related to “saying no” and no ppl pleasing, but also not making him feel like he’s doing everything wrong
~so for context we went out and i wore my most favourite dress ever (like a little girl called me a princess so you know i ate) and he was definitely caught off guard couldn’t get enough type beat. (being feminine, other than him, and mysterious all accomplished ☺️) and he was being a gentleman, opening all the doors, pulling my chair back, asking me if i needed help with anything bla,bla. but then at the end of the date hes putting his hand on my waist trying to pull me closer, asking about my earrings (hand in my hair) and bellybutton ring (poked it)~ and all of that was already feeling like too much like who even are you and why are you touching me. the only thing i said ‘no’ to directly was when he hugged me in a way that ruins my curls (no body can mess with my hair like death before dishonor) but i don’t want him to think i dislike him but im also not very physical and men are~ so the question is like how do i say don’t touch me without making him feel bad or loose attraction 🙈🌷
Congratulations 🎉❤😊 wooooohoooo! Looks beautiful! Can't wait to read! Thanks for everything you Gorgeous powerful woman!
Favorite podcaster at the moment! I live in the USA and super excited to read to the book preorder 3 months ago lol ☀️
Yay! Thank you!
Red suits you. You look so gorgeous 💖
Agreed!
How do you stop nagging but still stand up for what you need? Love this video btw I’ve never seen your stuff before but definitely going to binge now❤
This is what I need to know! Like I want to be all sweet and loving but I need him to stop throwing his clothes in the floor! 😂😂😂
@@JessicaNora right!! It’s so annoying! For me it’s leaving the toilet dirty (I know, gross 🤢) If I don’t say something right away and try to bottle everything up I’ll explode later 😩
Maybe @margarita can make a video to help us learn how to be graceful but still get our needs met! 🙏🏼💕
Omg you are so cute. I laughed out loud in the first 3 min. Authenticity is the new rule! You go girl, I will continue listening… you had me at secret society 😂
Congrats on your new book! 🤍
I can't wait to receive mine. Loved your polarity masterclass 🫶
If someone gets disturbed by the adds (I don't 😎 🤙) , just forward the video to the and and start all over. That get rid of interruptions.
Or...just practice patience and gratefulness for free awesome content.
Really needed to listen to this. Just bought your book. Thank you for such great advice x
Hope you enjoy it!
Your content is really good and useful. I love it. I use your advices on everything, often to how to belive in your partner. I usually say to my husband "I belive you can solve the problem", but recently he told me he wants me to do something and help him fix it or I don't do anything to fix it. What do you do in this situaltion?
YOU ARE AMAZING. i was thinking about this today!!! And here you are delivering❤️
Love your content! But too many ads darling ❤
your book cover is so appealing
Girl, you are sooooo on it!
I’ve been waiting for this 🙏🙏🔥🔥thank you so much ♥️🙏 please we need more
Love the book ❤
Such a queen ❤wonderful videos.
This couldn't have come at a better time. Thank you so much ❤
I feel this is everything i needed to her today!
I really enjoy your talk - thanks for that! but placing few ads in one video it’s too much and annoying.
The right person will love you for you, and you won’t have to get them to chase you-whether it’s been 10 weeks, 10 months, or 10 years. Connection is deep, vulnerable, honest, and genderless. Love is a bond that requires no strategy.
This video is pure gold. I'm your subscriber from India. Thank you for the amazing content. If you could kindly make an extended video about how to remain mysterious in a marriage, it would be great. Most of the content around this topic is in the context of dating, which IMO is so easy. But how do i stay mysterious/ elusive with my husband who's around me 24/7?
Sorry but do you have an idea how to stop mothering your man as an Indian woman because I feel like it's ingrained in us to treat them like that! Especially if you're stay at home mom..
Amazing content in this video! I rarely suggest anything in comments, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is a game-changer. It provides deep knowledge on wealth and self-care that can really make a difference. Take care, everyone
“He’s just sitting there reclining “😂😂
Love this video! ❤But I must say… there are more sponsorships in this video and well… it did distract me. Like almost wanting to click out of the video.
But… I love you! So I had to see this through 😂🥰
I totally agree. And will have no more ads in future videos.
thank you for this!!
I was one of those many Tik Tok users asking about this 👌👌👌
1min in & you make me laugh so much… In a good way!!! 😅
I also actually thought - I’d bought that book - but can’t have!
Oops - must try harder! 😬
Buying NOW! 💪 Xx
Margarita are you able to elaborate on how your book writing process happened how did you schedule writing sessions in, did you write the book before you got approached for the publishing deal, or did you self publish, how did the whole concept come to be it’s my dream to write a book and I just wanna know how you managed it all and how the opportunity came to you❤ it would mean the world to me if you could elaborate thank you
Too many ads not even relevant to my country. Add some for EU / Romania at least.
P.S. point #10 got me 🥶
❤❤❤ golden info as always
When you talked about being on the phone with him all the time etc, what about long distance relationships ? What should we do ?
I'd say leave ads in the end or in the beginning if she needs to
Love the fire in this one. 🔥 😊
Thankfully I don't have to worry about this
Not the rebuke! 😂 Omg. He's rubuking me. I have to stop the mothering asap!
Brilliant advice❤
I love that your stunning but smart. A mix between Kate Winslet and Scarlet Johannsson
I just ordered the book on Amazon thank u
Amazing as always 😂❤ thanks
Hard to get but Easy to be with! Wow 🖤
I heard and understood you, I think in my relationship too this has happened that I’ve become that mother figure. Like I do this laundry or organise his cupboard, he’s started keeping the room messy as well cause he knows I’ll clean it up. Taking your advice I stopped cleaning the room and it disgusts me to be in a chaotic room. What should I do in this case cause he think I’m here to do everything for him.
I do have another room as well I think of shifting to that one keeping it clean but I think this might seem like a big step that might hamper the relationship. Please advise
This may be my new fav channel. hmm. :)
I hate how right you are about the mothering part... all sounds too familiar to me 😂😂😂
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!