Yeah, it sure is Helen. Like my family of origin and connected; they've not wanted me in their life. They don't have a good reason either. I could say they have no reason. It's been very hurtful to me but I ask myself why would I want to be part of these kinds of people anyhow.
Toxic people love it when you are angry. Think hard on your situation- and, don't feed the toxic people. Get even by feeling the feelings, grieve, accept and find a way to be happy. It's your best revenge!
If you don't confront the person who betrayed you, you will have that hurt and resentment channeled into anger misdirected at others. Go towards that uncomfortable place in life and speak your mind and walk away. There must be a moment that you live in truth. We are not entitled to being treated well. We have to earn our respect. Don't reward bad behavior. The secret to life is too care less about what others think and stand up for yourself. Live your life in authenticity, be brave and use your instinct. You are not alone.
Angie L agreed; it's not easy especially if that person who perpetuated evil on you has authority like an attorney. I had to wait until that attorney messed up his relationship with the bar then took my argument back to the evil doer. It was so satisfying to tell that hypocrite he was wrong. Then I was free!
the problem is "just ignoring what happened" won't change anything... i experienced alot of that kind of shit. Those bad people are happy through their betrayal..they live great lives because of the wealth/success they took from me. they are literally rewarded their whole lifes for beeing selfish/evil/criminal. they benefit from doing stuff like that there is no karma or god that will turn things for them one day because they have done so much evil... they will be rewarded because they just take what they want no matter what. The only way is to actually get revenge even if that means ruining you own life... it is most likely already ruined.
They may be happy the betrayal paid off and they can afford more stuff because of what they took from you and it may seem that they are literally rewarded for their evil ways and some may actually enjoy seeing you down and out but what he is trying to convey here is about what you can do to STOP YOUR PAIN and suffering, It is one way or technique that allows you shift the perception that you’re most likely already ruined… Thoughts are not facts! Don’t believe every thought that comes to you.. Know that you CAN shift your perspective consciously. The best revenge is to be so happy that they will shit all over themselves. No one who feels really good about themselves would hurt another and trust me true happiness is your best revenge and something nobody can steal from you. Peace out :)
I can’t let anyone divert me from doing what I really want. I’m happy it’s only this and that I’m being taught and trained this lesson before I really built my empire. I can easily get back up again and keep going and thereby getting stronger. I chose to keep going vs letting this crap affect me and cloud my precious days, feelings and thoughts. Times gonna go by anyway, might as well focus it on something that feels good and gets me what I want. If it happens again oh well I’m getting stronger and more persistent. I am getting this. It’s simple and doable and I’m figuring this shit out, how I can live my life and be safe without letting others divert me, distract me or destroy me. It’s not what happens to you it’s about what you can and are doing about what happens to you. What they want is to keep you down, so get back up and take life by it’s horns and try again, keep going, keep doing your best and being your best and keep shining, for this will bring you good rewards. you’re worth it.
universal order is wishful thinking I like when the video says 'bad things happen to good people' that makes it sting a little less; like it's not my fault it happened to me BUT I will say, that if I were a little more conniving, it never would've happened
There is a concept called "Radical Acceptance" read about it. There are some things in life that are not right and they are never going to be right because no matter how much you think about it and analyze it, we can not turn back the hands of time. Not saying it is always easy but at some point you have to choose to LIVE and be happy. One thing too is that sometimes you have to put some people out of your life. Some people only bring negative vibes - even if that person is a family member - we all have the right to safeguard our own sanity from the negative effects of chaotic people.
Yup, had to do it to my abusive mother and psycho siblings. In reality they were never there for me anyway, so putting them out of my life ends my getting hurt by them over and over again. Now, healing the damage they did to me? That's hard and unfortunately a 24/7 chore. I lament the energy I have to use just to feel worthy of living another day. I wonder what that energy could have done if I didn't have to use it to survive.
okay but when you say you can't make it right at least in my case I could wake up the devil in me and force everything to my will and I have to constantly choke down that urge it's hard for me because I have been a pretty bad person for most of my life and when I finally got my devil under control I was betrayed I fight constantly to not go back to the man I was but in my heart, I know how easily I could raise hell until my rage was satisfied but I swore to myself I would never be that man again and I'm not ashamed to say it hurts to just let a weakling walk all over me
I get so tired of people not understanding that how you treat me and talk to me can have every bit of how I’m going to respond as a HUMAN. I’m all for revenge
I experienced this my wife cheated on me I recorded it on our security home camera she put a fan in front of it in hopes to cover the sound I heard everything. My world crushed... I lost my job, tried to kill myself multiple times, and became homeless. Please pray for me
I had a devastating moment last year. This video was a reminder to me that what's done is done. The feelings of what happened to me were close to the time that is now a year ago, and I needed this to set my mind straight again. Thank you!
hope you ok, and getting stronger , i still want to baste their toes with oil and hang them above a camp fire. but apparently you shouldnt do this because they will scream a lot and ruin your peacefull evening. phahahaha hope ya laughed. xxx
@@446wasmynumber 😆 yea, I've moved on at this point. Very happy with where im at but I do still think about it. That stuff sticks. You just gotta say “im not going to let this hold me back from my potential” and commit to moving on. Hard, but works.
@@TheMadComposer you are strong to think that way, the victim mentality keeps you and everyone around in a never ending cycle of pain, and nothing changes. i said to myself you can die or you can live, i thought time goes so fast anyway whats the point of suicide. if you choose to live you have to get up and do it the best you can. we all have different ways of dealing with hurt and pain, but we are all the same as we are strong and will get stronger. take care my friend i wish you all the best love light and strength to you. xxx
@@TheMadComposer ps the roasting toes thing wasnt my idea , its an old english torture. i have far worst ideas than that, its not my fault im a pisces i have a very good imagination hehehe xxx
It is getting old. Lots of tears-yes there is. But, getting old enough Will remedy the unremedible. Your heart Will grow strong as you get older. Age is a virtue. Do not let it go to waste
the most painful it's when your the one that have to remind them that they betrayed you, and telling them you forgive them . For them days past week's past,the never talk about it.
There is an argument thought to say that if you retaliate then people learn that you can’t be treated like that. It can be a way to teach people to respect you.
Thank you so much. I was literally ready to act on some very bad intentions and probably ruin my life. It takes so much of your heart to be that bigger person. Lord knows what my intentions are because he's trying to talk me out of them. 🙏🤝 Very much appreciated.
Thank you, I was betrayed by my eldest daughter, and then recently by my 'Best friend,' and have been almost unable to live with the pain and anguish...After watching your video, I feel empowered to follow your advice, and I feel better already. Thanks again! Y
and what if something has gnawed at you for over a decade and no matter how well you live no matter how hard you try to let it go it continues to gnaw at you constantly and the only reason I haven't sought revenge is for karma's sake but the hate never subsides
I prefer to listen to these words than most therapists who can't articulate positive life lessons and only serve to shrink and make their patients depended on criticsm and feeling bad. Thank you for the healing words !
Hey Thanks Dr. Daniel. It took 30 years of the best 18-48 years of my life for the betrayal in my life to take place. When my friends and family were at the beach I was fixing things on the farm. Then the "promised" farm was stolen by my family that promised it. I learned that this world is full of lazy jealous people that hate hard workers. There's virtually nothing left of my life to live as you say "fully"; so I over eat to feel full.
Karma is real, I’ve experienced it from my wrong doings and seen it happen to others from there wrong doings, it’s to bad your not there to witness it from those that did you wrong, but it does come back to them, you think it won’t because you didn’t see it happen, that’s the unfortunate part, that’s what bites you hoping it will, you gotta let it go and continue on your personal growth, being better than that person in any way, thats what keeps your mind busy and being at peace with yourself
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen -Brother Mark and all at Saint Francis Retreat House
I’ve been consumed by this resentment and hate towards a personal trainer who I paid $800 to. He trained me for 4 days and I was in the hospital for a week due to muscle tissue breakdown. He blocked me and took the money and ran. That was around 7 months ago. I’ve been working out by myself, I’ve lost 50lbs BY MYSELF! But I cannot get over the feeling of hurting him or even people close to him. EVEN THOUGH I’ve lost a ton of weight, money wasn’t a huge issue for us but I’m still so consumed
U know u can forgive but that doesn't.mean you'll recover and everything is going to be perfect and great after that. Because it isn't true. Some people after betrayal can move one Happ happy happy. And sometimes it doesn't happen that way. Sometimes it hurts for a long time.
A bad person ran over me and destroyed my body pretty much now my parents pay so much and I'm sure the person didn't even tell her parents she is still in my school and she doesn't care about anybody she's the most selfish person I've seen
Yes, my parents paid 10 thousand dollars just for me. My dad had t get off work and so did my mom. My grandma missed her flight at that day while my sister was so innocent and didnt deserve to see me in such pain now 20% of my body is not human :(
I had it happen to me, but I stayed so I wouldn’t be made out to be the bad person and because we have a son. But my anger and resentment only built until I couldn’t hold it in anymore and now I have nothing, if only I’d left when the betrayal came out then I’d be in a much better place.
I've never left a man who cheated on me without dishing it back. I realised from seeing other people while still seeing them they couldn't take it and they ended up just disappearing. The last one I was getting bored of the relationship so it wasn't as if I was missing anything. I just pretended to be upset and make him feel guilty so he won't be groveling back It felt good and the best part was I had a good time while doing it. It actually made up for all the annoying bs I put up with. It was cathartic. I'm better off. I see women just leave and carry bitterness with them for years. Then find another man and then end up in the same situation again. Life is too short to spend so much time trying to not get cheated on. I'd rather do other things with my time and energy. You'll realise over time that sex is overrated period.
I have watched so many videos and read so many articles on how to deal with hurt, betrayal and anger. This is the most beneficial advice I've ever heard. I will work hard I'm not letting this rent space or give away my power to that. I am the one allowing it to ruin my life! Good job I needed to hear that.
If I do nothing to them, then I am letting them get away with their betrayal, and the fact that they all turned their backs on me. Why should they be allowed to prosper and enjoy life while I sit alone and tortured? No amount of psychological tinkering will suppress what is clawing inside me waiting to be unleashed. All I feel now is rage and hate. All I do now is work and sleep. No family, no friends. I know that soon my life will probably come to a violent end, at mine or someone else's hand.
Yes you can. We all have the ability to close those chapters in our lives that we don’t want. It’s all within ourselves. Your body, your mind, your thoughts are all controlled by you. Dig deep.
Just stay away from folks and build a 12 ft concrete ,enforced with steel, around your heart 💔 if you dont care and open yourself up to folks ,then they dont hav an open door to hurt u
Its extra painful because with All Narcissist you will Never Ever Get Closure from them . So Heal yourself 1st so when a painful situation arises your more equipped to maneuver life... Yes that lesson will continue to play out till you graduate the lesson .Thanks for sharing your wisdom 🤓🙏🏻
I learned that from Dr Gary. Who saved my life over 10 years ago. I am grateful to him to be standing here today. He showed me the way. Keep watching the videos.
How do you explain karma if my abusive bully cousin is mocking at people all the time; despite that, many people love her; she is a millionaire now (she married a big fish); her husband celebrates her bullying and she doesn't have a single problem in her life? How do you explain karma?
Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear. I was obsessing about revenge on my brother thinking it would speed up the process of Karma if I kept thinking about it but I know now that he will get his. Amen. Have a great day Gary. Thank you again.
9 years ago, but You send out the samme message as all the wise people that talk about forgiveness here on this channel - in Your own direct way. And I love it. Thank You so much🙋♀️😊🌻
YESSSSSS! The lesson eludes me in the wake of my rage, that is why I can't move on from it. I spend a lot of time in my head, analyzing this or that. So no, it doesn't feel satisfactory to simply decide I'm just gonna release it from my life. Yes I'm capable of deciding this or that for myself with a disciplined mind, but not until I feel/learn and am able to identify what my lesson was from it. Any suggestions or question grid I can take myself through (online anywhere) to whittle down what the lesson was? Cuz right now, the only one I can come up with is trust no one.
"Trust no one" is not a good life lesson. Be more discerning about who you choose to trust in the future is a better life lesson. Watch out for red flags and trust your gut, those are good life lessons. I was betrayed terribly w/ an affair, but I choose to be more careful, but not to shut people out. In fact I invited 3 of my old friends back into my life and am working on opening my heart again. Not to him, I won't trust him again, but I won't punish myself for what he did by shutting everyone out for the rest of my life. I'm working on forgiving too. that is not coming as easy, but I'll get there.
Revenge is not what I really want, but sometimes I feel like I do really want it. I am right to feel slighted and angry and to think of justice. I am wrong for desiring revenge. I know the consequences and emotional weight I am left with when I deliberately harm others. I am wrong to want to do anything knowing it may harm another. Any other. The people I feel the most revenge desires for are a certain type of person. One I feel righteous and noble wanting revenge on. I need to check those feelings. Pride. How dare I feel pride about this. This type of person cannot feel happy like I can feel happy. They do sick things to cope with their existence. I am not the one who gets to dole out punishment to them. God has shown me love and helped me. I am not God. I do not get to do his job. I don't get to tell myself I'm acting on righteousness to get justice in the “ways available to me.” Beyond the moral and spiritual issues of revenge. It is not practical. These people play a game I am a novice at. They have more to lose than I do. I would not be wise to dig two graves. I want to live. And I cannot live with revenge. Goodbye revenge. In Jesus name I wish revenge out of my life. Amen.
Thanks so much for this Doc! Such a perfect solution - simply recondition yourself to focus on positivity any time unwanted thoughts come up about someone who has wronged you. I'll be practicing this method on a daily basis. Thanks again :)
@@drgarydaniel I believe my ex to be a narcissist I've confronted him about his abusive behavior It ended up in more abusive behavior I decided to leave him He can't get to me anymore I've went no contact But he is poisoning my children against me Do you have any advice for that?
Everytime i try stopping the mental reminders i find that ill never be free of the reminder of his betrayal since his baby with her will never go away now.
I can’t let anyone divert me from doing what I really want. I’m happy it’s only this and that I’m being taught and trained this lesson before I really built my empire. I can easily get back up again and keep going and thereby getting stronger. I chose to keep going vs letting this crap affect me and cloud my precious days, feelings and thoughts. Times gonna go by anyway, might as well focus it on something that feels good and gets me what I want. If it happens again oh well I’m getting stronger and more persistent. I am getting this. It’s simple and doable and I’m figuring this shit out, how I can live my life and be safe without letting others divert me, distract me or destroy me. It’s not what happens to you it’s about what you can and are doing about what happens to you. What they want is to keep you down, so get back up and take life by it’s horns and try again, keep going, keep doing your best and being your best and keep shining, for this will bring you good rewards. you’re worth it.
How about satisfaction? I can't carry on knowing that person who fu#ked me over is enjoying their life. I need them to suffer and I need them to know it was me who made their life miserable. That idealistic view you are promoting Dr. is just to calm an irritated mind. But what if my mind is clear, and I just need that closure in order to feel satisfaction 😌
If someone betrays me I just act as if they don't exist anymore. They eventually stop trying to connect with me again and just fade away from my life. Some people call that the "door slam".
I thank you, Dr. Gary Daniel. I am going to give my best in my heavy heart to really not give my heart's beatings to the hurt a relative did to me. I think I can do this. You have helped me. Sincerely, Tyler
6 років тому
There are some people who hate you that much that they know they shouldn't be talking to tuner siblings of yours but also end up influencing them to come against you while they need help but are helping construct their mind firing the present time to hurt you and to only act like they need hep because these people who interfere in families business are there to damage families, people. I can prove it. My issue is deeper than this!
When you speak about dealing with betrayal that's so true... Shortly after I was wrongfully fired from my government job due to a sexual harrassment case with me as the victim I realized that the company had forged signatures and falsified documents and because it was a government agency in a small town they had people to follow me around and tap my phone so that I can be too distracted to sue them. I still can't dial out on my phone without them interfering with my conversation with the Peron I've dialed and I have proof of this. The sad news is is that I don't think I can ever get over this to know that our government really doesn't give a Damon about it's people enough to treat a former employee after they've devoted 3+ years to the company in that fashion. A waste of time really. I can now say that I can forgive- I haven't yet, but I can say that I can, but know that I will never trust our government again and I will never take another census survey ever!!! Thank you so much for your video. You've been a big help. : )
Definitely don't put energy into revenge, because that will only deplete you. Work on getting the anger out of your system as soon as you can. It's enough to deal w/ the hurt and grief. You also need to find a paradigm shift to see it differently. They will reap what they sow and so will we. Sow to more positive things as much as you can and you will reap those benefits too.
Thank you very sweetly. They tried to erase me. This video is So helpful to step forward and get over the hell that almost killed me. I’m more resilient now and still keep my compassion for others.
I not only have anger and feelings of revenge but the group of people (cult) who did harm to me are a perpetual threat. I don’t know if they are ever going to leave me alone. So, the fear and anger just keep going and going and keep the anger and need for revenge alive.
Thank you so much. Liked when you said, if its not you who's gonna do it to them someone else will do it to them. Great motivation. In the meanwhile I am gonna hold on to my precious positive energy. Writing down their names, just incase, one day.....you never know. Always remember their names.
I've been through betrayal from my X, my family of origin and friends for many years. It happened when needed them to be there for me. Its made me ill and unable to trust. I need more discernment in who I trust. I need to trust my spirit not smiling faces. God says vengeance is mine...I will repay! I know hurt people, hurt people. I guess a lot of people are hurting. But, I don't need to over empathize with people to my own detriment.. Or, to forgive too quickly. They say we treat people how yo treat us.....well, I need to treat myself better! God bless all!
Just found you!! Need this. Dated a narc 8 plus years....had to stop the madness...plus other narcs. Im aware and found out that im an empath. As i finally said he has not married me for 9 years. I say thank you to him....but its turned to anger which is good...becayse its after hurt. Im into good vibes n energy. Acceptance....
Mike Tyson once said," if you do not forgive those that hurt you they do not become your enemy they become your master" forgiveness does not mean they won nor are you admitting guilt. we forgive them to set ourselves free. bitterness does not do you any good. and remember its ok to detach from the wrong doers and do so peacefully. move on! you don't have to be they buddy. trauma will always be there, but don't give it the time of the day.
Good advice here and it is appreciated. Reacting with revenge has always seemed natural to me and granting forgiveness has always seemed unnatural. But I love my life and I don't want to die or end up in jail and risk losing the things that matter most to me...so that is ultimately what keeps me from avenging. I am not trying to emulate Ghandi or MLK. I just want to stay out of jail/morgue, etc. Second most helpful thing for me, which was touched upon in the video, is to remember that while I have very little control over things I can always control my response and my mindset. Still, though: withholding revenge is NOT easy for me. I have what feels like a periodic and compulsive need to even the score, past, present, and future LOL. It is a constant battle to remind myself toward peace, power, and prosperity.
Wow, what a great and very helpful video Dr. Gary! This kind of stuff is what I been doing my best to practice in my life now and letting go of those people who don't want me to be part of their life.
Accept the fact that they were not your friend and tricked you and you got played for a fool and the whole time they only cared about themselves and you were to blind to see it. And also not become jaded.
Bad things happen to good people and sometimes good things happen to bad people. I get it. But what do I do when I wish that bad things would happen to bad people?
I experienced extreme betrayal over 12 years ago and I was living life fine through moving on but the feelings, the anger, the embarrassment and pain has managed to come back and now I feel like giving up. I know I will eventually get over it all again because I have a good life I'm not going to ruin. This just sucks being in a position where you lose and can't do anything about it. I always focus on being the better person in situations but it is wearing on me, not sure how much more I can take...
This time I am taking revenge..didn't have to go this way,I do not forgive this outright deceit.i will be as calm as they were.the world is based on revenge..
A great grand child was torn away from me by her mother, (my grand daughter) with no explanation. I can walk away from my grand daughter, but i am heart broken because my innocent Great grand daughter can’t get to know me and vice versa.😢
Justice is what l Choose to Spend my Energy on...thank you for this Message though. I am Cutting Myself Slack for what feels like the 1st time. I See now. Except l can't find my Car keys. Can't see them anywhere and my house is Spotless. I'm OCD from Abuse...Trauma. So when l lose something...lve Lost my Sons...
Stopping at 3:36 to say...its hard to not to Focus your Energy and Thoughts on it when it involves your Children and their Father and Flying Monkies and Foot Soldiers! And you are still Caught in the Repercussions and Results of their Covert Narcissistic Abuse...Help!
My 35 yr old son was murdered by a drunk uncaring driver while walking across the road the devastation my small grandchildren his are angry lost me as a Mother the pain .. she lives and does not care I’m so angry and I can’t forgive
It's hard when you are not able to close a chapter in your life.
Yeah, it sure is Helen. Like my family of origin and connected; they've not wanted me in their life. They don't have a good reason either. I could say they have no reason. It's been very hurtful to me but I ask myself why would I want to be part of these kinds of people anyhow.
Helen Boula I agree totally,,,,
I realize I'm kinda randomly asking but do anyone know of a good site to watch new series online ?
@Yusuf Nash Flixportal :P
@Michael Beckett thanks, signed up and it seems like they got a lot of movies there :D I appreciate it!
Toxic people love it when you are angry. Think hard on your situation- and, don't feed the toxic people. Get even by feeling the feelings, grieve, accept and find a way to be happy. It's your best revenge!
It TRULY is! Excellent advice!💥💯🌹
If try not to be angry so i annoy toxic people im still angry at them. Faulty logic. Being less angry as revenge is actually just denying anger
If you don't confront the person who betrayed you, you will have that hurt and resentment channeled into anger misdirected at others. Go towards that uncomfortable place in life and speak your mind and walk away. There must be a moment that you live in truth. We are not entitled to being treated well. We have to earn our respect. Don't reward bad behavior. The secret to life is too care less about what others think and stand up for yourself. Live your life in authenticity, be brave and use your instinct. You are not alone.
Angie L Wise words, Angie. Thanks.
Indeed very wise words. They don't deserve my attention yet still you are right.
That doesn't work. If they are Christians they will 'throw forgiveness in your face'.
Nah im still piss nothing worse to me than a traitor
Angie L agreed; it's not easy especially if that person who perpetuated evil on you has authority like an attorney. I had to wait until that attorney messed up his relationship with the bar then took my argument back to the evil doer. It was so satisfying to tell that hypocrite he was wrong. Then I was free!
the problem is "just ignoring what happened" won't change anything... i experienced alot of that kind of shit.
Those bad people are happy through their betrayal..they live great lives because of the wealth/success they took from me.
they are literally rewarded their whole lifes for beeing selfish/evil/criminal. they benefit from doing stuff like that
there is no karma or god that will turn things for them one day because they have done so much evil... they will be rewarded because they just take what they want no matter what. The only way is to actually get revenge even if that means ruining you own life... it is most likely already ruined.
YuriNoirProductions Yes. So yes.
They may be happy the betrayal paid off and they can afford more stuff because of what they took from you and it may seem that they are literally rewarded for their evil ways and some may actually enjoy seeing you down and out but what he is trying to convey here is about what you can do to STOP YOUR PAIN and suffering, It is one way or technique that allows you shift the perception that you’re most likely already ruined… Thoughts are not facts! Don’t believe every thought that comes to you.. Know that you CAN shift your perspective consciously. The best revenge is to be so happy that they will shit all over themselves. No one who feels really good about themselves would hurt another and trust me true happiness is your best revenge and something nobody can steal from you. Peace out :)
YuriNoirProductions ...If you cutoff all physical contact and change your number and reject mail it will kill them like revenge. Fact.
I can’t let anyone divert me from doing what I really want. I’m happy it’s only this and that I’m being taught and trained this lesson before I really built my empire. I can easily get back up again and keep going and thereby getting stronger. I chose to keep going vs letting this crap affect me and cloud my precious days, feelings and thoughts. Times gonna go by anyway, might as well focus it on something that feels good and gets me what I want. If it happens again oh well I’m getting stronger and more persistent. I am getting this. It’s simple and doable and I’m figuring this shit out, how I can live my life and be safe without letting others divert me, distract me or destroy me. It’s not what happens to you it’s about what you can and are doing about what happens to you. What they want is to keep you down, so get back up and take life by it’s horns and try again, keep going, keep doing your best and being your best and keep shining, for this will bring you good rewards. you’re worth it.
universal order is wishful thinking
I like when the video says 'bad things happen to good people'
that makes it sting a little less; like it's not my fault it happened to me
BUT I will say, that if I were a little more conniving, it never would've happened
...Shutting Out and leaving the Energy Thieves and Emotional Saboteurs behind is your Best Bet!
Gods revenge is the best. When you can witness vindication, that's the 🍒
There is a concept called "Radical Acceptance" read about it. There are some things in life that are not right and they are never going to be right because no matter how much you think about it and analyze it, we can not turn back the hands of time. Not saying it is always easy but at some point you have to choose to LIVE and be happy. One thing too is that sometimes you have to put some people out of your life. Some people only bring negative vibes - even if that person is a family member - we all have the right to safeguard our own sanity from the negative effects of chaotic people.
Yup, had to do it to my abusive mother and psycho siblings. In reality they were never there for me anyway, so putting them out of my life ends my getting hurt by them over and over again. Now, healing the damage they did to me? That's hard and unfortunately a 24/7 chore. I lament the energy I have to use just to feel worthy of living another day. I wonder what that energy could have done if I didn't have to use it to survive.
Bullshit make tlhoose who did wrong accountable and let them be fear
okay but when you say you can't make it right at least in my case I could wake up the devil in me and force everything to my will and I have to constantly choke down that urge it's hard for me because I have been a pretty bad person for most of my life and when I finally got my devil under control I was betrayed I fight constantly to not go back to the man I was but in my heart, I know how easily I could raise hell until my rage was satisfied but I swore to myself I would never be that man again and I'm not ashamed to say it hurts to just let a weakling walk all over me
I get so tired of people not understanding that how you treat me and talk to me can have every bit of how I’m going to respond as a HUMAN. I’m all for revenge
I experienced this my wife cheated on me I recorded it on our security home camera she put a fan in front of it in hopes to cover the sound I heard everything. My world crushed... I lost my job, tried to kill myself multiple times, and became homeless. Please pray for me
How are you doing now? Hope you are OK.
Wow! I'm so sorry that happened to you! I sincerely hope that you're doing well in your life now.
If you watched porn while with her you deserved to be cheated on
No woman is going to tolerate that
Thank you Dr Daniel. I decided last night to let go off a family betrayal. This is the first day for the rest of my life. I loved this.
I had a devastating moment last year. This video was a reminder to me that what's done is done. The feelings of what happened to me were close to the time that is now a year ago, and I needed this to set my mind straight again. Thank you!
hope you ok, and getting stronger , i still want to baste their toes with oil and hang them above a camp fire. but apparently you shouldnt do this because they will scream a lot and ruin your peacefull evening. phahahaha hope ya laughed. xxx
@@446wasmynumber 😆 yea, I've moved on at this point. Very happy with where im at but I do still think about it. That stuff sticks. You just gotta say “im not going to let this hold me back from my potential” and commit to moving on. Hard, but works.
@@TheMadComposer you are strong to think that way, the victim mentality keeps you and everyone around in a never ending cycle of pain, and nothing changes. i said to myself you can die or you can live, i thought time goes so fast anyway whats the point of suicide. if you choose to live you have to get up and do it the best you can. we all have different ways of dealing with hurt and pain, but we are all the same as we are strong and will get stronger. take care my friend i wish you all the best love light and strength to you. xxx
@@TheMadComposer ps the roasting toes thing wasnt my idea , its an old english torture. i have far worst ideas than that, its not my fault im a pisces i have a very good imagination hehehe xxx
@@446wasmynumber dude thank you!! Much love and respect for the kind words 🤘
I like that line, "don't empower the other person ". That will be my mantra the next time I get tempted to ruminate on "them". Thanks Gary
It is getting old. Lots of tears-yes there is. But, getting old enough Will remedy the unremedible. Your heart Will grow strong as you get older. Age is a virtue. Do not let it go to waste
the most painful it's when your the one that have to remind them that they betrayed you, and telling them you forgive them . For them days past week's past,the never talk about it.
and expespecaily the people close and the one you love and would take a builid for
There is an argument thought to say that if you retaliate then people learn that you can’t be treated like that. It can be a way to teach people to respect you.
Thank you so much. I was literally ready to act on some very bad intentions and probably ruin my life. It takes so much of your heart to be that bigger person. Lord knows what my intentions are because he's trying to talk me out of them. 🙏🤝
Very much appreciated.
Thank you, I was betrayed by my eldest daughter, and then recently by my 'Best friend,' and have been almost unable to live with the pain and anguish...After watching your video, I feel empowered to follow your advice, and I feel better already. Thanks again!
Y
I think it depends on what the situation has been sometimes someone destroyes your life so much u can't forget what they did no matter how u want to
Exactly that's why am still living in pain and suffering but I get happy knowing I've probably get my revenge in the end
No anger whatsoever anymore, I look forward living my life in peace.
and what if something has gnawed at you for over a decade and no matter how well you live no matter how hard you try to let it go it continues to gnaw at you constantly
and the only reason I haven't sought revenge is for karma's sake but the hate never subsides
Man, You hit it on the head. Thank you.
I prefer to listen to these words than most therapists who can't articulate positive life lessons and only serve to shrink and make their patients depended on criticsm and feeling bad. Thank you for the healing words !
Hey Thanks Dr. Daniel. It took 30 years of the best 18-48 years of my life for the betrayal in my life to take place. When my friends and family were at the beach I was fixing things on the farm. Then the "promised" farm was stolen by my family that promised it. I learned that this world is full of lazy jealous people that hate hard workers. There's virtually nothing left of my life to live as you say "fully"; so I over eat to feel full.
Karma is real, I’ve experienced it from my wrong doings and seen it happen to others from there wrong doings, it’s to bad your not there to witness it from those that did you wrong, but it does come back to them, you think it won’t because you didn’t see it happen, that’s the unfortunate part, that’s what bites you hoping it will, you gotta let it go and continue on your personal growth, being better than that person in any way, thats what keeps your mind busy and being at peace with yourself
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen
-Brother Mark and all at Saint Francis Retreat House
I’ve been consumed by this resentment and hate towards a personal trainer who I paid $800 to. He trained me for 4 days and I was in the hospital for a week due to muscle tissue breakdown. He blocked me and took the money and ran.
That was around 7 months ago.
I’ve been working out by myself, I’ve lost 50lbs BY MYSELF! But I cannot get over the feeling of hurting him or even people close to him. EVEN THOUGH I’ve lost a ton of weight, money wasn’t a huge issue for us but I’m still so consumed
U know u can forgive but that doesn't.mean you'll recover and everything is going to be perfect and great after that.
Because it isn't true. Some people after betrayal can move one Happ happy happy. And sometimes it doesn't happen that way. Sometimes it hurts for a long time.
That's why you need vegenges it's the only way
A bad person ran over me and destroyed my body pretty much now my parents pay so much and I'm sure the person didn't even tell her parents she is still in my school and she doesn't care about anybody she's the most selfish person I've seen
Yes, my parents paid 10 thousand dollars just for me. My dad had t get off work and so did my mom. My grandma missed her flight at that day while my sister was so innocent and didnt deserve to see me in such pain now 20% of my body is not human :(
Holy fuck I'm getting my gun
Truth. Don’t give negative energy away, however when opportunity come,seek revenge. Lex Taliones.
Exactly
Not let their negativity affect my positivity. Brilliant. This content of this video is exactly what I've needed for a very long time. Brilliant!
I was cheated on and made me look like the bad one because I left. How do you forget that?
Claudia Adomah Are you still talking to that person? I also experienced something similar
I don’t know how to go on. His family had been smearing me for years unknowingly My heart is broken.
I had it happen to me, but I stayed so I wouldn’t be made out to be the bad person and because we have a son. But my anger and resentment only built until I couldn’t hold it in anymore and now I have nothing, if only I’d left when the betrayal came out then I’d be in a much better place.
I've never left a man who cheated on me without dishing it back. I realised from seeing other people while still seeing them they couldn't take it and they ended up just disappearing. The last one I was getting bored of the relationship so it wasn't as if I was missing anything. I just pretended to be upset and make him feel guilty so he won't be groveling back It felt good and the best part was I had a good time while doing it. It actually made up for all the annoying bs I put up with. It was cathartic. I'm better off. I see women just leave and carry bitterness with them for years. Then find another man and then end up in the same situation again. Life is too short to spend so much time trying to not get cheated on. I'd rather do other things with my time and energy. You'll realise over time that sex is overrated period.
@@TheQueenIsWithin ah, you're an abuser.
I have watched so many videos and read so many articles on how to deal with hurt, betrayal and anger. This is the most beneficial advice I've ever heard. I will work hard I'm not letting this rent space or give away my power to that. I am the one allowing it to ruin my life! Good job I needed to hear that.
If I do nothing to them, then I am letting them get away with their betrayal, and the fact that they all turned their backs on me. Why should they be allowed to prosper and enjoy life while I sit alone and tortured? No amount of psychological tinkering will suppress what is clawing inside me waiting to be unleashed. All I feel now is rage and hate. All I do now is work and sleep. No family, no friends. I know that soon my life will probably come to a violent end, at mine or someone else's hand.
Yes you can. We all have the ability to close those chapters in our lives that we don’t want. It’s all within ourselves. Your body, your mind, your thoughts are all controlled by you. Dig deep.
Thank you so much, you have no idea how this has helped me get through a really bad time/moment in my life and to move forward, it saved me so.
Just stay away from folks and build a 12 ft concrete ,enforced with steel, around your heart 💔 if you dont care and open yourself up to folks ,then they dont hav an open door to hurt u
Its extra painful because with All Narcissist you will Never Ever Get Closure from them . So Heal yourself 1st so when a painful situation arises your more equipped to maneuver life... Yes that lesson will continue to play out till you graduate the lesson .Thanks for sharing your wisdom 🤓🙏🏻
I learned that from Dr Gary. Who saved my life over 10 years ago. I am grateful to him to be standing here today. He showed me the way. Keep watching the videos.
Yeah kinda hard when that person took your purpose and way of life away
Then go get it back
10 years later. Thank u for telling me to shift my focus from the negativity. Also cutting myself some slack
Thanks man you probably saved a couple people's lives
Thank you Doc! I needed to hear that. Peace
I feel like my immediate family is getting ready to betray me....again.
Mine did.
How do you explain karma if my abusive bully cousin is mocking at people all the time; despite that, many people love her; she is a millionaire now (she married a big fish); her husband celebrates her bullying and she doesn't have a single problem in her life? How do you explain karma?
Thank you. That is exactly what I needed to hear. I was obsessing about revenge on my brother thinking it would speed up the process of Karma if I kept thinking about it but I know now that he will get his. Amen. Have a great day Gary. Thank you again.
9 years ago, but You send out the samme message as all the wise people that talk about forgiveness here on this channel - in Your own direct way. And I love it. Thank You so much🙋♀️😊🌻
YESSSSSS! The lesson eludes me in the wake of my rage, that is why I can't move on from it. I spend a lot of time in my head, analyzing this or that. So no, it doesn't feel satisfactory to simply decide I'm just gonna release it from my life. Yes I'm capable of deciding this or that for myself with a disciplined mind, but not until I feel/learn and am able to identify what my lesson was from it. Any suggestions or question grid I can take myself through (online anywhere) to whittle down what the lesson was? Cuz right now, the only one I can come up with is trust no one.
And you’re better off trusting nobody
"Trust no one" is not a good life lesson. Be more discerning about who you choose to trust in the future is a better life lesson. Watch out for red flags and trust your gut, those are good life lessons. I was betrayed terribly w/ an affair, but I choose to be more careful, but not to shut people out. In fact I invited 3 of my old friends back into my life and am working on opening my heart again. Not to him, I won't trust him again, but I won't punish myself for what he did by shutting everyone out for the rest of my life. I'm working on forgiving too. that is not coming as easy, but I'll get there.
Revenge is not what I really want, but sometimes I feel like I do really want it.
I am right to feel slighted and angry and to think of justice.
I am wrong for desiring revenge.
I know the consequences and emotional weight I am left with when I deliberately harm others.
I am wrong to want to do anything knowing it may harm another. Any other.
The people I feel the most revenge desires for
are a certain type of person. One I feel righteous and noble wanting revenge on.
I need to check those feelings. Pride.
How dare I feel pride about this.
This type of person cannot feel happy like I can feel happy.
They do sick things to cope with their existence.
I am not the one who gets to dole out punishment to them.
God has shown me love and helped me.
I am not God. I do not get to do his job.
I don't get to tell myself I'm acting on righteousness to get justice in the “ways available to me.”
Beyond the moral and spiritual issues of revenge.
It is not practical. These people play a game I am a novice at.
They have more to lose than I do.
I would not be wise to dig two graves.
I want to live. And I cannot live with revenge.
Goodbye revenge. In Jesus name I wish revenge out of my life. Amen.
You know your full of shit right you know you want revenge and you know it who are you fooling if you want it go get it
I kinda have difficult times of control issues as usual, yes!
Thanks so much for this Doc! Such a perfect solution - simply recondition yourself to focus on positivity any time unwanted thoughts come up about someone who has wronged you. I'll be practicing this method on a daily basis. Thanks again :)
You are so welcome. Thank you for tuning in.
@@drgarydaniel I believe my ex to be a narcissist
I've confronted him about his abusive behavior
It ended up in more abusive behavior
I decided to leave him
He can't get to me anymore I've went no contact
But he is poisoning my children against me
Do you have any advice for that?
Thank you, Dr. Gary. :)
I just watched this, 9 years later, on a weekend. Thank you for the simple straight shooting advice.
Everytime i try stopping the mental reminders i find that ill never be free of the reminder of his betrayal since his baby with her will never go away now.
I can’t let anyone divert me from doing what I really want. I’m happy it’s only this and that I’m being taught and trained this lesson before I really built my empire. I can easily get back up again and keep going and thereby getting stronger. I chose to keep going vs letting this crap affect me and cloud my precious days, feelings and thoughts. Times gonna go by anyway, might as well focus it on something that feels good and gets me what I want. If it happens again oh well I’m getting stronger and more persistent. I am getting this. It’s simple and doable and I’m figuring this shit out, how I can live my life and be safe without letting others divert me, distract me or destroy me. It’s not what happens to you it’s about what you can and are doing about what happens to you. What they want is to keep you down, so get back up and take life by it’s horns and try again, keep going, keep doing your best and being your best and keep shining, for this will bring you good rewards. you’re worth it.
This guy was 12 years ahead. Wow thanks guy!❤
Never forgive and never forget, pull yourself up get out of your mud, toxic people always forget about time. It always bites!
How about satisfaction? I can't carry on knowing that person who fu#ked me over is enjoying their life. I need them to suffer and I need them to know it was me who made their life miserable. That idealistic view you are promoting Dr. is just to calm an irritated mind. But what if my mind is clear, and I just need that closure in order to feel satisfaction 😌
Thank you, I already figured that out but hearing it from someone else’s mouth was like sweet music to me ;)
If someone betrays me I just act as if they don't exist anymore. They eventually stop trying to connect with me again and just fade away from my life. Some people call that the "door slam".
No need presure, just go away and not necessarily for closure.
I thank you, Dr. Gary Daniel. I am going to give my best in my heavy heart to really not give my heart's beatings to the hurt a relative did to me. I think I can do this. You have helped me. Sincerely, Tyler
There are some people who hate you that much that they know they shouldn't be talking to tuner siblings of yours but also end up influencing them to come against you while they need help but are helping construct their mind firing the present time to hurt you and to only act like they need hep because these people who interfere in families business are there to damage families, people. I can prove it. My issue is deeper than this!
When you speak about dealing with betrayal that's so true... Shortly after I was wrongfully fired from my government job due to a sexual harrassment case with me as the victim I realized that the company had forged signatures and falsified documents and because it was a government agency in a small town they had people to follow me around and tap my phone so that I can be too distracted to sue them. I still can't dial out on my phone without them interfering with my conversation with the Peron I've dialed and I have proof of this. The sad news is is that I don't think I can ever get over this to know that our government really doesn't give a Damon about it's people enough to treat a former employee after they've devoted 3+ years to the company in that fashion. A waste of time really. I can now say that I can forgive- I haven't yet, but I can say that I can, but know that I will never trust our government again and I will never take another census survey ever!!! Thank you so much for your video. You've been a big help. : )
You got gangstalked
9 years old video but SO relevant today. Gold. Thank you.
Definitely don't put energy into revenge, because that will only deplete you. Work on getting the anger out of your system as soon as you can. It's enough to deal w/ the hurt and grief. You also need to find a paradigm shift to see it differently. They will reap what they sow and so will we. Sow to more positive things as much as you can and you will reap those benefits too.
Thank you very sweetly. They tried to erase me. This video is So helpful to step forward and get over the hell that almost killed me. I’m more resilient now and still keep my compassion for others.
Thanks, this is hard to do, but I'm committed to moving forward. Betrayal cuts deep!
I not only have anger and feelings of revenge but the group of people (cult) who did harm to me are a perpetual threat. I don’t know if they are ever going to leave me alone. So, the fear and anger just keep going and going and keep the anger and need for revenge alive.
Good go get it you deserve it
Thank you so much. Liked when you said, if its not you who's gonna do it to them someone else will do it to them.
Great motivation.
In the meanwhile I am gonna hold on to my precious positive energy.
Writing down their names, just incase, one day.....you never know. Always remember their names.
I've been through betrayal from my X, my family of origin and friends for many years. It happened when needed them to be there for me. Its made me ill and unable to trust. I need more discernment in who I trust. I need to trust my spirit not smiling faces. God says vengeance is mine...I will repay! I know hurt people, hurt people. I guess a lot of people are hurting. But, I don't need to over empathize with people to my own detriment.. Or, to forgive too quickly. They say we treat people how yo treat us.....well, I need to treat myself better! God bless all!
Thank you for clearing up "forgiveness"
Just found you!! Need this. Dated a narc 8 plus years....had to stop the madness...plus other narcs. Im aware and found out that im an empath. As i finally said he has not married me for 9 years. I say thank you to him....but its turned to anger which is good...becayse its after hurt. Im into good vibes n energy. Acceptance....
Life empowering words.Thank you for the well articulated lessons on how to thrive !
Thanks, needed some help after betrayal from what I thought my best friend.
farside2009 Same with me.
me too
Late to this game, but yes, likewise. For me it was two "best friends" who turned out to be anything but.
Same here
Also here because I can’t let go of this hurt from my supposed best friend.
Thanks Doc. I needed this. Even 9 years later.
Thank you Dr Gary for your wisdom, you taught me a lot in just a 7 min video
The evil world needs forgiving, passive people. Don’t do it. Fight hard, fight dirty, fight early. Do not trust anyone who encourages you to be meek.
Mike Tyson once said," if you do not forgive those that hurt you they do not become your enemy they become your master" forgiveness does not mean they won nor are you admitting guilt. we forgive them to set ourselves free. bitterness does not do you any good. and remember its ok to detach from the wrong doers and do so peacefully. move on! you don't have to be they buddy. trauma will always be there, but don't give it the time of the day.
That was very insightful!
Good advice here and it is appreciated. Reacting with revenge has always seemed natural to me and granting forgiveness has always seemed unnatural. But I love my life and I don't want to die or end up in jail and risk losing the things that matter most to me...so that is ultimately what keeps me from avenging. I am not trying to emulate Ghandi or MLK. I just want to stay out of jail/morgue, etc. Second most helpful thing for me, which was touched upon in the video, is to remember that while I have very little control over things I can always control my response and my mindset. Still, though: withholding revenge is NOT easy for me. I have what feels like a periodic and compulsive need to even the score, past, present, and future LOL. It is a constant battle to remind myself toward peace, power, and prosperity.
Thanks Doctor Gary, I think that’s the only solution for the rage that has cursed my life,
I’m going to take that advise and try.
Wow, what a great and very helpful video Dr. Gary! This kind of stuff is what I been doing my best to practice in my life now and letting go of those people who don't want me to be part of their life.
Thank you for this video, I really needed it today. I hope I never have the misfortune of getting involved with a money thieving narcissist again.
Accept the fact that they were not your friend and tricked you and you got played for a fool and the whole time they only cared about themselves and you were to blind to see it.
And also not become jaded.
Thanks for the wake-up, your speaking what people need to hear.
Bad things happen to good people and sometimes good things happen to bad people.
I get it.
But what do I do when I wish that bad things would happen to bad people?
Really needed to hear this. Thank you sir.
thanks...youve confirmed what i been practicing but was despairing
Pray for your enemies 🤞🙏
I experienced extreme betrayal over 12 years ago and I was living life fine through moving on but the feelings, the anger, the embarrassment and pain has managed to come back and now I feel like giving up. I know I will eventually get over it all again because I have a good life I'm not going to ruin. This just sucks being in a position where you lose and can't do anything about it. I always focus on being the better person in situations but it is wearing on me, not sure how much more I can take...
This time I am taking revenge..didn't have to go this way,I do not forgive this outright deceit.i will be as calm as they were.the world is based on revenge..
A great grand child was torn away from me by her mother, (my grand daughter) with no explanation. I can walk away from my grand daughter, but i am heart broken because my innocent Great grand daughter can’t get to know me and vice versa.😢
Thank you, one and a half year after a break up and i'm still very depressed, but this was a great talk to listen to.
Justice is what l Choose to Spend my Energy on...thank you for this Message though. I am Cutting Myself Slack for what feels like the 1st time. I See now. Except l can't find my Car keys. Can't see them anywhere and my house is Spotless. I'm OCD from Abuse...Trauma. So when l lose something...lve Lost my Sons...
What about when you see them often? I’m triggered every time I see her and get full of rage. It’s like it brings me right back to the beginning.
Stopping at 3:36 to say...its hard to not to Focus your Energy and Thoughts on it when it involves your Children and their Father and Flying Monkies and Foot Soldiers! And you are still Caught in the Repercussions and Results of their Covert Narcissistic Abuse...Help!
Thee BEST advice EVER heard....Mahalo Dr. Gary!
I'm sorry doc but u can't stop this it isn't easy to let go I just can't i need to do this
Thanks man I really needed to hear that.Don't give that negative crap any of my energy & focus.
My 35 yr old son was murdered by a drunk uncaring driver while walking across the road the devastation my small grandchildren his are angry lost me as a Mother the pain .. she lives and does not care I’m so angry and I can’t forgive