Some men when they fall out with their wives or mothers of the children, they disown the children, rationalising that 'they belong to the mother.' Their access and control over the woman is tied to their care and provision for the child(ren). Personally, I'd encourage women to have the number of kids they want and would be comfortable raising alone even in a partnership like marriage.
When I was in a high school economics class, the (male) teacher brought in a woman in her 20s to talk to the girls about staying financially independent. She did briefly talk about the possibility of husbands cheating and leaving women with the kids, but went with the scenario "what if your husband dies in a car crash, how will you pay the bills then?" It was clearly an attempt to defuse that whole "I don't need to get a job or go to college, I'll just marry a rich guy" attitude by too many girls. There's a reason our high school Economics teacher got awards for his work. He didn't just do that whole "supply and demand" and Widgets Inc. Factory talk - he showed films about how early marriage and early kid-having affects you financially. He taught us how to write checks and balance a checkbook (yes, it was pre-Internet) - in other words, practical economics that actually matter in people's day-to-day lives.
If someone had told me that after 15 years I would be getting divorced because my husband cheated, I would have never believed them. Luckily for me, I was prepared for that circumstance but I can't imagine a woman NOT being prepared and getting financially blind-sided. Ouch!!! It's a tale as old as time and happens A LOT.
She's not wrong. I was a stay at home mom for about 12+ years with a couple of years of working. My husband passed away and legit left me in debt. When he said we would be taken care of. I now have a place for us, pay my bills, credit building, and saving.if you are going to be a SAHM have a PT income.
I agree with her! My grandmother married my grandfather, he was a great provider put my granny in 2 new homes, nice cars, clothes, etc. He didn’t even want her to work, but she worked anyway and saved her money! They stayed together until he died in his 70s. Ladies, protect yourselves don’t be ignorant, at least work part time, take up a trade/degree, or work from home, etc.
I feel like the first women missing her point intentionally and was really nasty about it. She’s not saying “don’t do it” she’s saying “I did it and look at what happened to me so be warned.” Bragging about how you have a Support system and all that when the woman literally said she’d been with her husband since 19!!!!!!!!! That’s…
I hate when ppl act like a mom working us just selfish. My grandma was a picture perfect stay at home mom and one day my grandpa drove away leaving her w 4 kids. She had to start from scratch just like this lady. My mom never financially depended on a man and it’s true I did not get as much care and attention as I probably needed but it wasn’t her being selfish it was her making sure we survived no matter what.
@@chenyung8154spiteful and take your kids away from the wealth they are used to!? Regardless whose fault it was, men consider their resource to be theirs. If he decides to divorce he will fight tooth and nail to keep everything.
I’m a stay at home Mom. She told no lies. What’s the issue? Why are people mad? If you married later in life, have degrees, financial independence and your name is included on every single joint asset, you’re a bit safer and increase your likelihood for minimal financial devastation. You can make it so no one can take a certain amount out without the other person approving. A husband can pay into a retirement account. There are lots of security options these days. Sticking your head in the sand is not an option.
When you drive a car, you wear a seat belt and have insurance. When you're a stay at home mom, have a back up plan. Simple. The people who miss the lesson due to the "tone", that's on them. Hopefully, they don't have to learn via experience.
She is completely on point. Aren’t many of us always talking about how men are disappointing and will use you? So you need to be capable of thriving without them.
All she's saying is make sure you have some form of autonomy because life is crazy. They just want to be offended and yell "my man"...nothings wrong with that. But they know what she means
Exactly. I'm like she was clear and she wasn't rude to anyone. Neither did she say don't do it. She just said be safe and protect yourself and your children.
I thought the same thing. The first stitch I'm thinking how are you taking personal offense to her sharing her story. She never said that was the only reason to have money or that all stay at home moms gonna get cheated on they have selective hearing. Then the main ones who get offended at nothing like definetly be having ain't shit cheating husbands and they be knowing it. Cause it made no sense to get offended about that.
Here’s the thing: you always NEED money. I hate how people shame women for working. That’s how the world works - you need money. Yes you need to bond with kids too but they also need to eat, medical care, etc. you can do both but it’s a balance.
The saddest part is that this woman is giving this advice FROM EXPERIENCE. And yet still people don't wanna listen. Like men haven't proven over and over for millenia that they'll consistently let women down
These men need to be paying the SAHM a monthly deposit for her own personal use AND sign a legal clause ensuring she receives insurance and a lump sum if divorced
I am happy that i am sterilized. Pregnancy and childwork are the worst things that could have happened to me. I feel sorry for all the women who got brainwashed by partriarchy.
The reason why my mom couldn't leave my Dad when I was younger is because she could not afford to be a single mom...she had a HS diploma and behind on the technology times. I even asked her "Mom...why don't you just leave. You're not happy...why can't we leave." She said nonchalantly "...because I can't afford it. This is why you should always have your own." Me and my mother do not have the perfect relationship but that is one lesson that is BURNED into my memory and has guided me to be the type of woman I am today.
As a recruiter I’ve witnessed many women get looked over for having gaps in their resumes. At least take on contracts or build a business. This is factual information and regardless of the small percentage of the lucky ones you have to put yourself first.
The funny thing is that most of the women or men that have gaps or do temp positions might do better in the position that they apply for that people that have no gaps and might stay longer at the company. There are people that they pick for positions that leave the job less than a year. I see the same job postings every 3 months, but they won't give those people a chance.
@@giovannanicolas8299yes. I'm seeing ppl give positions to their friends, even if they're not qualified. It's discouraging. I wish racism wasn't an issue.🤔😒
I'll admit it. I lied on my last resume. I had a 7 year gap because of being a SAHM, but during that time, I finished my Masters and four certifications. The missing link was job experience. So I admit, I lied because I was getting rejected for being honest. I was hired within 4 weeks of adding a fake job. Yep, I'll do what I have to for survival for myself and my son.
Always work part time! Get a skill that allows you to freelance. That way you can say you were freelancing. I have a degree and a cosmetology license. I’ve always “worked” even when I didn’t 😌
100% Freelancing and I always bring up, if you are a parent or guardian, all the hours I did for PTA, Athletics, Banquets etc, and the skills used. @@Deanna0456
My mum stayed at home for 8 years when I and my siblings were younger. She still talks about how much she suffered financially and emotionally today. So yeah, listen to her or at least marry someone who can afford to have a stay at home wife.
Marriage is a worthless outdated custom. And the mist stupid thing someone can do. Having children is on the same level. Be smart = don't participate in partriarchy.
I knew a lady who was a stay at home wife for 20 years with 4 daughters and this man after she got sick from cancer just up and said he wanted a divorce and kicked her and the kids out. She was working at a box factory with me, we built like 300-400 boxes by hand a day.
This happened to my great aunt. She was a stay at home mom for decades and her husband was in the military full-time. Long story short he started an affair with a secretary at work and left her with 4 kids, literally…he eventually divorced her. But since she never worked, she had to enter the workforce at a later age in her life and didn’t get much in social security after she retired. Till this day, my uncle (her son) has to pay all her bills and medical expenses. Her ex-husband has passed and all of his benefits went to his current wife (the secretary). On the other hand, my grandmother was a working mom and she too got a divorce, but she worked as a teacher up into old age. After her passing, she left my mom her house, her parents house, and other things via a will all by herself. That story taught me to stay financially independent no matter the situation. Even when men try to say that a stay at home wife is the best situation, never become completely out of the job market-always have a stream of income.
I’m a financial freedom mentor for single mums and I’m so glad I get to help women who come to me to help them with their finances before they file for divorce, so they can be set financially when they file for divorce.
The first lady really just repeated what she said, the OP just used her marriage as an example. So everybody coming for her just lack comprehension skills.
I think her comment reasonated the most with me as someone who knows I am about to have two kids in three years, working full time isn't really an option. A lot of people are making me fearful and make a stay at home mom sound delusional. Although we have planned for this upcoming period, I want to know what I can do. So I can make the most of that time with my kids and live in fear while nursing and 2 kids under 2. This is an important conversation and I wish people spoke with more grace. Saying thing such as, "be smart" translates to, they are, stupid? Saying, "don't have kids"... doesnt work for me because I don't see myself working till I die for fulfilment. I will be a mother till I die and this is a job I expect to enjoy.
Sounds like people are projecting their fears on me. Probably well intentioned. With advice take what may work for you but ultimately do what is best for you and have plan B and C. All the best to you and future babies :)
coming from a culture where it's been normal in past generations to get married + have kids young and take up traditional gender roles, it's been ingrained in my generation (and newer ones) for girls/women to prioritize our education, jobs, and independence. u don't have to go to university, but u damn better get thru hs and have a solid resume. this is a way to PROTECT ourselves in case shit hits the fan!
Nothing wrong with that- don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Never bury your head in the sand regarding finances. Mine pays into my Roth IRA, my name is on every single asset and no one can pull out a certain amount without the permission of the other. There are lots of tools for protection, but it’s still a risk. 🤷🏽♀️
@@omowhanre Exactly, we have a joint Roth IRA and a separate one as well. I have every password and access to all documents concerning finance. It just feels safer this way.
My father all but cursed me out once for even so much as joking about being a housewife or stay at home mother. I learned early on to always have my own and never to become completely dependent on someone. My husband is the primary breadwinner in our home but I also work and make sure that I have my own personal savings. That isn't to say that I don't trust my husband do stay with me and treat me well, but you can't control the actions of another person and like she said, no adult able-bodied human being in their right mind should ever be financially dependent dependent on someone else.
It’s giving very much I’m oblivious to my surroundings. I tell every married woman I come across to have a secret stash because men with means have the means to cheat. I wouldn’t have left until I was positioned to do so. Create a plan of escape THIS REQUIRES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Don’t let on that you know until you’re in a good space. My mom literally made me go to college when I was a stay at home mom(thank you mom🙏🏾) I went and got 2 degrees so when my ex husband bounced… I bounced right back. There are men who value the sanctity of marriage but they are few!! BE SMART ALWAYS HAVE A SECRET STASH OF CASH.
I didn’t find her tone off at all. She very clearly said she doesn’t have a problem with SAHM she said don’t be irresponsible SAHMs. That is essentially saying be mindful of the time lost and what’s not happening, PREPARE. Why do women get so emotional about it. I never regretted going back to works and starting my own business. I’ll bd able to bring my children to work with me and hire them on when they’re of age. We can build wealth all together should they choose too. Always have something set aside or to fall back on because marriage is not Guaranteed! Tomorrow isn’t even guaranteed to anyone.
Contract marriage. If you stay at home , a legal agreement that if you decide you want to leave Legally you will pay.. work on weekends when he’s home just so you can keep job connections and have back plans/accounts etc..
Half of marriages end in divorce. Among existing marriages, how many do you imagine are unhappy? There must be millions of depressed SAHMs sucking it up and staying in place because they know they can't take care of themselves. We're going through this cultural moment of exalting provider men/submissive women, forgetting what some of our mothers and grandmothers went through when they were entirely dependent on men for their survival.
Crazy how we have evidence of things like this back whem women had no choice but to be stay at home wives... Like more people need to understand that it is not likely youre the exception but the rule.
Back then a guy could just decide he'd found someone he liked better than you, and you and your kids would be out on the street with no legal recourse. I'm so grateful for being born in this era.
@@Ilikefrogs.. It was pure evil and the fact that many women romanticize that time is so weird?? Men have no problem abandoning their partners even if that means death.
What’s the name of her channel? She’s right. Although I’m not a stay at home mom,I’ve been married 17 years and I’ve only had my own account for a year. I’m building my nest egg now because I was on the verge of divorce and only realized that my life would be a lot harder because I had nothing. Even though I work, I didn’t have my own account. My husband makes 10 times what I make so he gave me 5k when I asked for it and I blew it quickly on a piece of crap car because I didn’t want to make payments on my own car that he’s been paying for. I pay no bills so now I’m just saving and planning my exit strategy 😂
Someone told me I don't remember if it was a teacher one of my bosses. That companies prefer to higher black women because black women have their babies and come back to work where as white women have their babies and stay home with the babies. They don't come back to work.
Is she coming hard for stay at home mom’s or simply telling you to think 🤔 💭 and plan ahead. All she saying is make a logical, calculated decision and not an emotional one.
I am a sahm...my daughter is school aged now and I want to have at least a part time job because there is a void--I am needed less at home and I feel I contribute less economically in the household because the school has taken a large part of my job away. I feel this should be the motivation to get a money paying job and fill the impending void of the empty nest.
Being a stay at home Mom is different from being clueless. Stay at home Moms should be smart , know about your finances , and have a stash of " mad money ."" Enjoy the ride while it lasts , then be ready to walk away at the end . 😊
I think where the OP went wrong was not working when her youngest was school aged. I feel like there could be a healthy balance. Maybe 5 years out of the workforce, go to school or work parttime and keep a savings. I think that housewife v. Stay at home mom are two different things.
Absolutely, always be prepared for the worst. I have a friend who lost his father when he was 15. Went out for a run and the police came to tell them he had a heart attack. Of course you want to believe until death do you part, but death doesn't always come when you're both old and grey. Always be prepared for the worst case scenario, everything is up from there. Have a 6 month emergency fund so you can weather the storm in any occasion. Do it for you. Do it for your loved ones.
That is why my family insisted that we get our education & establish ourselves, before marrying and most definitely having children. Life happens, shyt happens. If you stay on top of your gained education as a stay-at-home mom, you’ll better off. I, myself cheer the stay-at-home moms, however, I am also wise enough to realize life/shyt happens & like myself, you must be prepared to take on being the breadwinner for your children should the man bounces & leave you without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
I grew up in a household where both my parents worked and took care of the home, with my dad being the top provider financially. My dad ended up retiring and my mom now had to pay most of the bills, had to learn the terminology on the bills, and learn how everything worked that was once my dad's responsibility. My dad sadly and suddenly passed away (it was very shocking) when I was still at a young age, leaving a wife and 5 children behind. My mom and I spoke about this recently that if she did not have her own job or experience paying the bills (due to my dad's retirement) we wouldn't have been able to keep living in the house we still have today and she wouldn't know what to do. The lady in the video is 100% correct. People really need to listen to her message instead of feeling attacked. You have to be prepared on how your home will run in case of an emergency. Divorce, death, medical reasons, disability, etc., are all ways yours and your children's lives can change. There is nothing wrong with wanting to dedicate your time and energy to your children, but do not solely depend on someone when life can happen at any moment.
The nerve of others saying things about you and your choices and your outlook now. People in general like to see themselves as better or safer or smarter or luckier. They criticize as protection from facts, which are on your side. Who wants it that way? That you must earn money while birthing, growing and raising a family. No woman wants that, so the truth is so hard to bear. I hope young women listen to you and take your case as a case study. God bless
I think the ww's message was very clear and required no further explanation or change of tone. For someone with such a big brain they missed the three points she covered and the main point : She said do not be a stay at home mom irresponsibly and have a back up plan. For her at the age of 18 getting married she didnt have one and suffered for it. Now for the women that dont want to heed her advice, dont and good luck. And the men that want to gaslight her shut up.
This is such a patronizing, misogynistic, and insulting thing to say. Someone having been through a traumatic experience doesn't mean they aren't smart or that their opinions aren't valid. This woman chose to make herself vulnerable in order to help other women and using her experiences to insult her and devalue her opinions is disgusting. Do better.
@@Ilikefrogs..that's what they always do. They try to hurt Your feelings aka humble/humiliate You so that You will lack self-confidence and allow them to do whatever they will with and to You.
Shes saying a lot that is right. To ensure that i dont wind up like that ive created my own business that i can work from home, and i do my best to save as much of my income and keep up my own Roth IRA and 401k that is in a PRENUP that i keep all of my assets and retirement (so does he) if the marriage dissolves. Protect yourself lovely women!!
So this woman had a family business and never saved any money in an account. My mum was a stay at home mum and had an account. When my dad gave her money she always put some away. Just because your husband give you money does not mean you have to spend every dollar. When your children are school age you can begin to go back to school if you want to. Her adult children need to get a part time job and help their mother. Something is not adding up when she said she got nothing from her divorce, no child support or spousal support. I wish her the best though , no one should be homeless.
Have you considered that since she was clearly in a financially abusive marriage there was no way to get a secret bank account. Secondly financially abusive men don't just give up abusing you, once you divorce them. They will continue to make sure you don't get nothing or you get very little from the divorce.
The 2nd woman had points, but she should understand that everyone is not as fortunate as her. Count your blessings and prepare for the famine. The first person shouldn't be berated for expressing her experience.
My parents had a great marriage, never had a boyfriend but I figured when I was 21 that I should keep on never having a boyfriend because otherwise I’d be fucked. The phrase “it skips a generation” means so much to me. I’m glad my parents had a great marriage but I doubt I could.
Honestly, I don’t believe in the it skips a generation because it has never skipped a generation in my family. The situation of the women in my family devastates me.
In this 21st century and the way this economy is set up, it's pretty risky to depend on another human being for financial stability. Although black women have understood this for quite some time, white women are now seeing that the lifestyle just ain't it. And as you can see, alimony and child support aren't guaranteed either. I figued sahm's could at least fall back on that, but nope! Not to mention the emotional toll it takes when men lie, have extra marital affairs, and don't support you emotionally.
Absolutely this is why we in the predicament where in they never had rights their husbands controlled all things and in our communities big mama was always respected. I'm drinking my water minding my African business
@@nightwishisthegreatestband6355 Exactly what it says. She can get a job with a little training. Her looks and color will make her transition far easier than poc. Get it now??
There are no gaps of employment just don't get paid for what we do....accountant, childcare worker, chauffer, CNA, seamstress, personal shopper, maid, laundry cleaner short order cook!!!!
My sister's godmother was a stay at home mom to a 4 year old boy...her husband was an AMAZING man! Kind, generous and hard working...one morning she wakes up to find him d*ead on bed next to her....autopsy revealed cancer they had no idea was there! The only reason her and her son were not homeless is because her parents were well off and tehy supported her while she went to nursing school...
I get what this lady is saying. Not personally but by seeing a close friend of mine go through similar things that this lady did. I feel she is speaking more on her personal factors but non the less mess happens. I do feel like stay at home moms work their butts off to maintain the house hold and keep the kids in check, while still trying to keep their man happy. Nothing is wrong with that. My mother was a stay at home mom. There is a lot to do besides just babysitting a home. But at the sametime you still have to face reality that mess might happen, like divorce or someone dying. But one thing she did forget to say is that not everyone dies or get divorce but there are some who husbands who loose their jobs or get hurt on a job. Then that is when the house wife has to step up. That is why house wives should never be 100💯 dependent on the husband. Not because he might not be a good husband but he might get hurt die demoted or loose his job. A house wife should have some skills . A housewife should have some way of making a little money on her own. Yes a lot of women may say when do you have the time and I say housewives act like a single mom and find the time. I feel like ppl can make times for things that they want to do, so make time for things that matters and can be useful. It can be anything that will help to make you a little money that won't take up much time from the kids. Talk with your husband and work together. All I'm saying is that this lady has a point and it's nothing to argue about but to just think about. Ladies always make sure you is secure in life for you and your family.
My mom had to completely start over in her 50s. Luckily she had remodeled every home we ever lived in with her own two hands, so she had grit and skills to fall back on. Was still hard as shit to do, but we made it.
Wow, that very first lady had a very hard time providing for her family being a stay at home mom. It’s not for everyone especially if your spouse separated or low income. Remember my mom having a difficult time being a stay at home mom, she did an awesome job yet she had a similar experience just like this lady we barely had any food. It was so hard living off of one income. Being a stay at home mom is a blessing, I do think mother’s probably have to get remote job or work part time. If you have enough income from the spouse that’s a blessing. The way the economy set up its hard to survive off on one income.
She’s right though the First Lady, what’s wrong with being responsible over your own Funchal stays and save. The husband don’t even need to be unreliable HE CAN DIE.
I agree life happens but a lot of women don’t want to think or admit that their husbands can be different men than they think. That man has a dark side that women don’t want to acknowledge and they choose to be ignorance. Her husband’s dark side liked street walkers and didn’t use protection.
It saddens me to see women in the comments debating about the minutia. When the glaring lesson is that our society does not value women. Our society does not protect women. This is an important distinction because I see too many women thinking they can like side-step societal misogyny by not having kids or whatever. No no hunny. It will come for you regardless. It will just show up in different forms/ways. It's so important for women of all life-styles to stay united. One womans suffering is all of our suffering.
I feel as though women need to realize that a man does not need to leave you to leave you, he could die or become incapacitated then what will you do. If you are not financially independent you are putting your life and future in someone else's hands and that's not smart. When my aunt's husband died she was left with 6 kids and no prospects. She was unprepared. Have your own revenue stream ladies.
This made me think of the vid floating around where the husband found out his stay at home wife was stashing money....he said I give u money to pay the bills etc..she said I do and I take some to put up in case u decide to leave......now lol what got me was the comments, men really are thinking/believing these things do not happen and excused this woman of setting up to leave her husband and that she was a thief....I had to smmfh, that woman was covering her behind .....we are witnessing men being financially abusive we are watching this and yet men still believe women dont deserve shit even of they are their wives.....I always felt being a SAHM/WIFE was too risky so I advocated that women make their own money cause this is crazy
She is right! I’ve never been a stay at home mom and I thank God everyday I wasent. I mean what happens when the kids are older? Like what happens when your kids are adults so are you going to be a stay at home senior in a senior center that did nothing but raised your children. I have seen senior citizens doing part time work just to not be home I mean that’s always an option too. If you’re going to be a stay at home mom, make sure you have skills that’s all she’s saying.
I think it's fine to be a stay at home mom, just have a side hustle and squirrel away extra money. When I was a stay at home wife I put on my resume Domestic Engineer and then I put the time that I did it. I also did online college as well. Nowadays marriages aren't lasting. There are too many people getting divorced over flip-it reasons. It's not romantic, but just think about all the things that could happen that could leave you homeless. Always protect yourself and be prepared.
Aww I’m so sorry for your loss. You seem like an amazing person. Your light continues to shine and I’m sure it will impact the lives of so many other people and children.
In 1910 my great grandmother became a primary breadwinner for her four children when my great grandfather fell out of a loft and died from his injuries. Women have always had to work their asses off, husband and children or no husband and no children.
You could get sick or have an accident and not be able to work and end up being left by your spouse. Life happens, you adapt but you can't prepare for everything, you can try to, or your can invest in here and now and let tomorrow care for itself. People have different mentalities and ways of viewing life. just do you and allow others to do them. None of us have all the answers, everyone can make choices that's best for them and allow others so the same, and keep it moving. Why is it necessary to prove yourself right or prove the others wrong. Just do what's good for you. And Allow them do the same.
She's not lying if you don't have an education and no work skills than up in age now divorce too. He took care of everything your survival rate is low. You have to get alimony until you get a job. Now you have to get some insurance and beg the court so he can continue to pay the insurance for the kids but you will still be responsible for the co pay. Than if he's an I'm through father. Everything coming out of pocket groceries, household supplies, hygiene products, clothes, shoes, repair expenses if it's the house or car... oh don't forget car insurance. Stay at home moms need to think about the worse case scenario. Will you be ok if yall get a divorce?
My mom was working mom she still works. Honestly i prefer she working than being a stay at home mom. I don't feel i lacked anything yes including quality time together. Me and my siblings spend more time with my dad than mom due to her working hours. Imo we were all happy that way
I've read more than my fair share of mgtow comment sections and have to put on garden gloves to refrain from leaving comments because I know I'll be attacked😂 I actually read this comment: "I don't care about no woman having a degree. She should be serving her man. Once women get some money they can leave you." I SO wanted to ask this genius this: "Sir, WHY would your woman want to leave you?" These men never get to the why part. Excuse me...some of the men never get to the why part. Why would a woman take a job and a half over being cared for financially while staying home and caring for her family? Fun fact: my dad whom I love paid all bills. When he died he left a bit of a mess. My hyper religious mother is now fixing this mess as she submitted then submitted some more so for the women that do want to stay at home and can because they have man earner in their life ..do the accounting with him to be sure he's not misusing money. My mother still worked on the side because my dad was not giving her allowance so thats ONE vasic reason for a woman to work. What grown woman wants tocbe crossing her fingers while asking her man for a couple dollars?
Exactly. When you ask modern men and women about why they avoid marriage, men are scared of divorce and women are scared of the marriage itself. If only men put more effort into the marriage part and women prepared for divorce better 😂 Also if only marriage was a temporary contract that needs to be consciously renewed...
I wish I could be a stay at home wife. But we can’t depend on my husband’s income alone. Now we are homeless because I took the summers (two months) off. Sometimes you can never recover. Women have to work these days. I don’t even understand how this is a debate anymore. If you are staying home, unless your kids are under the age of 5, it’s just laziness.
If i have to be a stay at home mom then i have to be paid month salary. I should be working but I'm staying at home and waiting on you,yeah you are going to pay me salary.
I work for a lot of these women. They aren’t affected because they are wealthy themselves and divorce will still land them with money. SAHM is not for the middle class and under. Oh yeah…. And a beneficial pre-up. Please. And know the laws in the state you have residency in.
Women need to stop being delusional about men’s true nature/makeup and our nature/ makeup as well. Like one of the ladies said she understands why women want marriage and the stay at home wife title because it’s HEAVLY marketed towards us since we were children for the sole purpose of reproduction. But the happy family with kids and the mom stays at home while the dad works is honestly not reality if it were the divorce rates wouldn’t be so high, it’s not smart or cute to not have your own in This Time Period. It’s also not realistic with the economy being the way that it is. so if you want to get married and have kids on top of that I would suggest doing A LOT of soul searching and research don’t go off of the small percentage of marriages that make that lifestyle work because it’s not going to work for every couple.
The men mad about her talking because she's giving the game away, the women are mad because they are delusional and have selective hearing.
The men that are ok with their kids being homeless is shocking
Some men when they fall out with their wives or mothers of the children, they disown the children, rationalising that 'they belong to the mother.' Their access and control over the woman is tied to their care and provision for the child(ren). Personally, I'd encourage women to have the number of kids they want and would be comfortable raising alone even in a partnership like marriage.
Sadly, it's not. Plenty of kids sitting in foster care or living in poverty whose fathers are completely capable of caring for them.
Tori Spelling!
When I was in a high school economics class, the (male) teacher brought in a woman in her 20s to talk to the girls about staying financially independent. She did briefly talk about the possibility of husbands cheating and leaving women with the kids, but went with the scenario "what if your husband dies in a car crash, how will you pay the bills then?" It was clearly an attempt to defuse that whole "I don't need to get a job or go to college, I'll just marry a rich guy" attitude by too many girls.
There's a reason our high school Economics teacher got awards for his work. He didn't just do that whole "supply and demand" and Widgets Inc. Factory talk - he showed films about how early marriage and early kid-having affects you financially. He taught us how to write checks and balance a checkbook (yes, it was pre-Internet) - in other words, practical economics that actually matter in people's day-to-day lives.
What a gem of a teacher.
That is a great teacher and a great man. The speaker he brought in is a great woman.
Props to that teacher. He knew the reality and acted accordingly.
I’m an economics major, hope to have a professor like this !!!!
This! So much THIS! I feel like classes like these should be mandatory in every school.
If someone had told me that after 15 years I would be getting divorced because my husband cheated, I would have never believed them.
Luckily for me, I was prepared for that circumstance but I can't imagine a woman NOT being prepared and getting financially blind-sided. Ouch!!! It's a tale as old as time and happens A LOT.
I'm sorry that happened. I hope everything works out for your benefit.
Some women give the kids to the father.
She's not wrong. I was a stay at home mom for about 12+ years with a couple of years of working. My husband passed away and legit left me in debt. When he said we would be taken care of.
I now have a place for us, pay my bills, credit building, and saving.if you are going to be a SAHM have a PT income.
What she’s saying is a fact. I’m married, I was a stay at home mom/wife, so glad I’m back at work building wealth.
Im a S.A.H.M. too and I'm trying to go back to work soon as well.
I agree with her! My grandmother married my grandfather, he was a great provider put my granny in 2 new homes, nice cars, clothes, etc. He didn’t even want her to work, but she worked anyway and saved her money! They stayed together until he died in his 70s. Ladies, protect yourselves don’t be ignorant, at least work part time, take up a trade/degree, or work from home, etc.
I feel like the first women missing her point intentionally and was really nasty about it. She’s not saying “don’t do it” she’s saying “I did it and look at what happened to me so be warned.” Bragging about how you have a Support system and all that when the woman literally said she’d been with her husband since 19!!!!!!!!! That’s…
I think she got triggered cuz she saw a white face
I hate when ppl act like a mom working us just selfish. My grandma was a picture perfect stay at home mom and one day my grandpa drove away leaving her w 4 kids. She had to start from scratch just like this lady. My mom never financially depended on a man and it’s true I did not get as much care and attention as I probably needed but it wasn’t her being selfish it was her making sure we survived no matter what.
@@chenyung8154spiteful and take your kids away from the wealth they are used to!? Regardless whose fault it was, men consider their resource to be theirs. If he decides to divorce he will fight tooth and nail to keep everything.
@@chenyung8154okay but when they are out of daycare and school aged, get a job.
I’m a stay at home Mom. She told no lies. What’s the issue? Why are people mad?
If you married later in life, have degrees, financial independence and your name is included on every single joint asset, you’re a bit safer and increase your likelihood for minimal financial devastation. You can make it so no one can take a certain amount out without the other person approving. A husband can pay into a retirement account. There are lots of security options these days. Sticking your head in the sand is not an option.
When you drive a car, you wear a seat belt and have insurance. When you're a stay at home mom, have a back up plan. Simple.
The people who miss the lesson due to the "tone", that's on them. Hopefully, they don't have to learn via experience.
She is completely on point. Aren’t many of us always talking about how men are disappointing and will use you? So you need to be capable of thriving without them.
I completely agree with her. I don't know why any woman would sign up to be a stay at home mom.
All she's saying is make sure you have some form of autonomy because life is crazy. They just want to be offended and yell "my man"...nothings wrong with that. But they know what she means
Exactly
This!
Exactly. I'm like she was clear and she wasn't rude to anyone. Neither did she say don't do it. She just said be safe and protect yourself and your children.
They was hurt just to be hurt.
I thought the same thing. The first stitch I'm thinking how are you taking personal offense to her sharing her story.
She never said that was the only reason to have money or that all stay at home moms gonna get cheated on they have selective hearing. Then the main ones who get offended at nothing like definetly be having ain't shit cheating husbands and they be knowing it. Cause it made no sense to get offended about that.
Here’s the thing: you always NEED money. I hate how people shame women for working. That’s how the world works - you need money.
Yes you need to bond with kids too but they also need to eat, medical care, etc. you can do both but it’s a balance.
The saddest part is that this woman is giving this advice FROM EXPERIENCE.
And yet still people don't wanna listen.
Like men haven't proven over and over for millenia that they'll consistently let women down
Exactly
THIS! 👏
These men need to be paying the SAHM a monthly deposit for her own personal use AND sign a legal clause ensuring she receives insurance and a lump sum if divorced
I am happy that i am sterilized. Pregnancy and childwork are the worst things that could have happened to me.
I feel sorry for all the women who got brainwashed by partriarchy.
Same. Im not even a feminist but I’d never ruin my life by having kids for a man
Some of those women probably feel bad for you. Can we all mind our own uteri?
The reason why my mom couldn't leave my Dad when I was younger is because she could not afford to be a single mom...she had a HS diploma and behind on the technology times. I even asked her "Mom...why don't you just leave. You're not happy...why can't we leave." She said nonchalantly "...because I can't afford it. This is why you should always have your own." Me and my mother do not have the perfect relationship but that is one lesson that is BURNED into my memory and has guided me to be the type of woman I am today.
As a recruiter I’ve witnessed many women get looked over for having gaps in their resumes. At least take on contracts or build a business. This is factual information and regardless of the small percentage of the lucky ones you have to put yourself first.
The funny thing is that most of the women or men that have gaps or do temp positions might do better in the position that they apply for that people that have no gaps and might stay longer at the company. There are people that they pick for positions that leave the job less than a year. I see the same job postings every 3 months, but they won't give those people a chance.
@@giovannanicolas8299yes. I'm seeing ppl give positions to their friends, even if they're not qualified. It's discouraging. I wish racism wasn't an issue.🤔😒
I'll admit it. I lied on my last resume. I had a 7 year gap because of being a SAHM, but during that time, I finished my Masters and four certifications. The missing link was job experience. So I admit, I lied because I was getting rejected for being honest. I was hired within 4 weeks of adding a fake job. Yep, I'll do what I have to for survival for myself and my son.
Always work part time! Get a skill that allows you to freelance. That way you can say you were freelancing. I have a degree and a cosmetology license. I’ve always “worked” even when I didn’t 😌
100% Freelancing and I always bring up, if you are a parent or guardian, all the hours I did for PTA, Athletics, Banquets etc, and the skills used. @@Deanna0456
My mum stayed at home for 8 years when I and my siblings were younger. She still talks about how much she suffered financially and emotionally today. So yeah, listen to her or at least marry someone who can afford to have a stay at home wife.
Marriage is a worthless outdated custom. And the mist stupid thing someone can do.
Having children is on the same level. Be smart = don't participate in partriarchy.
why do men do this to their wives and children?
I knew a lady who was a stay at home wife for 20 years with 4 daughters and this man after she got sick from cancer just up and said he wanted a divorce and kicked her and the kids out. She was working at a box factory with me, we built like 300-400 boxes by hand a day.
She looks much younger than 50
One thing she didn't mention if a husband is or becomes abusive and/or becomes financially defunct.
She is speaking nothing but FACTS.
This happened to my great aunt. She was a stay at home mom for decades and her husband was in the military full-time. Long story short he started an affair with a secretary at work and left her with 4 kids, literally…he eventually divorced her. But since she never worked, she had to enter the workforce at a later age in her life and didn’t get much in social security after she retired. Till this day, my uncle (her son) has to pay all her bills and medical expenses. Her ex-husband has passed and all of his benefits went to his current wife (the secretary). On the other hand, my grandmother was a working mom and she too got a divorce, but she worked as a teacher up into old age. After her passing, she left my mom her house, her parents house, and other things via a will all by herself. That story taught me to stay financially independent no matter the situation. Even when men try to say that a stay at home wife is the best situation, never become completely out of the job market-always have a stream of income.
I’m a financial freedom mentor for single mums and I’m so glad I get to help women who come to me to help them with their finances before they file for divorce, so they can be set financially when they file for divorce.
Are you USA based? How do I get in touch with a similar service in Canada?
What is your website? Contact? I need help!
WOW that's a niche and very important role @tanlye. I'm also interested in your contacts and where you are based.
Nothing is wrong with her tone
Exactly she’s not even disrespectful!!!
yeah that was just a male worshipper who wanted to stay in fantasy land.
Right. I didn't agree with the "fear mongering" comment this was her experience and cautionary tale for those who was interested in listening.
The first lady really just repeated what she said, the OP just used her marriage as an example. So everybody coming for her just lack comprehension skills.
I think her comment reasonated the most with me as someone who knows I am about to have two kids in three years, working full time isn't really an option. A lot of people are making me fearful and make a stay at home mom sound delusional. Although we have planned for this upcoming period, I want to know what I can do. So I can make the most of that time with my kids and live in fear while nursing and 2 kids under 2. This is an important conversation and I wish people spoke with more grace. Saying thing such as, "be smart" translates to, they are, stupid? Saying, "don't have kids"... doesnt work for me because I don't see myself working till I die for fulfilment. I will be a mother till I die and this is a job I expect to enjoy.
Sounds like people are projecting their fears on me. Probably well intentioned. With advice take what may work for you but ultimately do what is best for you and have plan B and C. All the best to you and future babies :)
I was always taught to have my own. I think anyone taking issue with that are living in a fantasy world.
coming from a culture where it's been normal in past generations to get married + have kids young and take up traditional gender roles, it's been ingrained in my generation (and newer ones) for girls/women to prioritize our education, jobs, and independence. u don't have to go to university, but u damn better get thru hs and have a solid resume. this is a way to PROTECT ourselves in case shit hits the fan!
Wow.
Smartest thing for a woman is not to participate in partriarchy.
My husband knows that if I was a stay at home mom, he has to put half of his salary into my account. That's the only way I would have children.
Nothing wrong with that- don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Never bury your head in the sand regarding finances. Mine pays into my Roth IRA, my name is on every single asset and no one can pull out a certain amount without the permission of the other. There are lots of tools for protection, but it’s still a risk. 🤷🏽♀️
@@omowhanre Exactly, we have a joint Roth IRA and a separate one as well. I have every password and access to all documents concerning finance. It just feels safer this way.
that is smart
My father all but cursed me out once for even so much as joking about being a housewife or stay at home mother. I learned early on to always have my own and never to become completely dependent on someone. My husband is the primary breadwinner in our home but I also work and make sure that I have my own personal savings. That isn't to say that I don't trust my husband do stay with me and treat me well, but you can't control the actions of another person and like she said, no adult able-bodied human being in their right mind should ever be financially dependent dependent on someone else.
The white lady's opinion is fair and I like the first stitch's point
It’s giving very much I’m oblivious to my surroundings. I tell every married woman I come across to have a secret stash because men with means have the means to cheat. I wouldn’t have left until I was positioned to do so. Create a plan of escape THIS REQUIRES EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Don’t let on that you know until you’re in a good space. My mom literally made me go to college when I was a stay at home mom(thank you mom🙏🏾) I went and got 2 degrees so when my ex husband bounced… I bounced right back. There are men who value the sanctity of marriage but they are few!! BE SMART ALWAYS HAVE A SECRET STASH OF CASH.
women should always prepare for the worst and don't always assume that things are going to stay the same.
I didn’t find her tone off at all. She very clearly said she doesn’t have a problem with SAHM she said don’t be irresponsible SAHMs.
That is essentially saying be mindful of the time lost and what’s not happening, PREPARE. Why do women get so emotional about it.
I never regretted going back to works and starting my own business. I’ll bd able to bring my children to work with me and hire them on when they’re of age. We can build wealth all together should they choose too. Always have something set aside or to fall back on because marriage is not Guaranteed! Tomorrow isn’t even guaranteed to anyone.
Contract marriage. If you stay at home , a legal agreement that if you decide you want to leave Legally you will pay.. work on weekends when he’s home just so you can keep job connections and have back plans/accounts etc..
Half of marriages end in divorce. Among existing marriages, how many do you imagine are unhappy? There must be millions of depressed SAHMs sucking it up and staying in place because they know they can't take care of themselves.
We're going through this cultural moment of exalting provider men/submissive women, forgetting what some of our mothers and grandmothers went through when they were entirely dependent on men for their survival.
Hopefully, the vast majority of women aren't falling for that nonsense.
Crazy how we have evidence of things like this back whem women had no choice but to be stay at home wives...
Like more people need to understand that it is not likely youre the exception but the rule.
Back then a guy could just decide he'd found someone he liked better than you, and you and your kids would be out on the street with no legal recourse. I'm so grateful for being born in this era.
@@Ilikefrogs.. It was pure evil and the fact that many women romanticize that time is so weird?? Men have no problem abandoning their partners even if that means death.
Dont have kids if you are not financially independent. Problem solved.
If you’re a stay at home mom put some of that grocery, activity & self care money away for a rainy day.
What’s the name of her channel? She’s right. Although I’m not a stay at home mom,I’ve been married 17 years and I’ve only had my own account for a year. I’m building my nest egg now because I was on the verge of divorce and only realized that my life would be a lot harder because I had nothing. Even though I work, I didn’t have my own account. My husband makes 10 times what I make so he gave me 5k when I asked for it and I blew it quickly on a piece of crap car because I didn’t want to make payments on my own car that he’s been paying for. I pay no bills so now I’m just saving and planning my exit strategy 😂
Are there things you can do to earn your earning potential?
Let him finance your business or side hustle and also get an education etc
Someone told me I don't remember if it was a teacher one of my bosses. That companies prefer to higher black women because black women have their babies and come back to work where as white women have their babies and stay home with the babies. They don't come back to work.
Is she coming hard for stay at home mom’s or simply telling you to think 🤔 💭 and plan ahead. All she saying is make a logical, calculated decision and not an emotional one.
I am a sahm...my daughter is school aged now and I want to have at least a part time job because there is a void--I am needed less at home and I feel I contribute less economically in the household because the school has taken a large part of my job away. I feel this should be the motivation to get a money paying job and fill the impending void of the empty nest.
You can get a role as a non director and work part time
She is right, it is a woman's road to poverty.
Being a stay at home Mom is different from being clueless. Stay at home Moms should be smart , know about your finances , and have a stash of " mad money ."" Enjoy the ride while it lasts , then be ready to walk away at the end . 😊
Add in abuse, neglect and other horrible situations, having no one to help you at all, and come back and tell me how that works for those women.
I think where the OP went wrong was not working when her youngest was school aged.
I feel like there could be a healthy balance. Maybe 5 years out of the workforce, go to school or work parttime and keep a savings.
I think that housewife v. Stay at home mom are two different things.
She was raised Mormon
Absolutely, always be prepared for the worst. I have a friend who lost his father when he was 15. Went out for a run and the police came to tell them he had a heart attack. Of course you want to believe until death do you part, but death doesn't always come when you're both old and grey. Always be prepared for the worst case scenario, everything is up from there. Have a 6 month emergency fund so you can weather the storm in any occasion. Do it for you. Do it for your loved ones.
Love this discussion! Ladies please listen to this woman’s advice! Be financially prepared!
That is why my family insisted that we get our education & establish ourselves, before marrying and most definitely having children. Life happens, shyt happens. If you stay on top of your gained education as a stay-at-home mom, you’ll better off. I, myself cheer the stay-at-home moms, however, I am also wise enough to realize life/shyt happens & like myself, you must be prepared to take on being the breadwinner for your children should the man bounces & leave you without a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
I grew up in a household where both my parents worked and took care of the home, with my dad being the top provider financially. My dad ended up retiring and my mom now had to pay most of the bills, had to learn the terminology on the bills, and learn how everything worked that was once my dad's responsibility. My dad sadly and suddenly passed away (it was very shocking) when I was still at a young age, leaving a wife and 5 children behind. My mom and I spoke about this recently that if she did not have her own job or experience paying the bills (due to my dad's retirement) we wouldn't have been able to keep living in the house we still have today and she wouldn't know what to do. The lady in the video is 100% correct. People really need to listen to her message instead of feeling attacked. You have to be prepared on how your home will run in case of an emergency. Divorce, death, medical reasons, disability, etc., are all ways yours and your children's lives can change. There is nothing wrong with wanting to dedicate your time and energy to your children, but do not solely depend on someone when life can happen at any moment.
Never depend on a man financially. U would be signing ur own death warrant.
This needs to be shown to 16-20 year old girls! 😨
The nerve of others saying things about you and your choices and your outlook now. People in general like to see themselves as better or safer or smarter or luckier. They criticize as protection from facts, which are on your side. Who wants it that way? That you must earn money while birthing, growing and raising a family. No woman wants that, so the truth is so hard to bear. I hope young women listen to you and take your case as a case study. God bless
I think the ww's message was very clear and required no further explanation or change of tone. For someone with such a big brain they missed the three points she covered and the main point : She said do not be a stay at home mom irresponsibly and have a back up plan. For her at the age of 18 getting married she didnt have one and suffered for it. Now for the women that dont want to heed her advice, dont and good luck. And the men that want to gaslight her shut up.
❤
I feel for SAHM, becus i’d NEVER want to depend (financially) on another being
I think she's just still traumatized from the whole situation.Pray for her ❤
So true
This is such a patronizing, misogynistic, and insulting thing to say. Someone having been through a traumatic experience doesn't mean they aren't smart or that their opinions aren't valid.
This woman chose to make herself vulnerable in order to help other women and using her experiences to insult her and devalue her opinions is disgusting. Do better.
Such stereotypical, toxic gemini behaviour 🤮
@@Ilikefrogs..that's what they always do. They try to hurt Your feelings aka humble/humiliate You so that You will lack self-confidence and allow them to do whatever they will with and to You.
Shes saying a lot that is right. To ensure that i dont wind up like that ive created my own business that i can work from home, and i do my best to save as much of my income and keep up my own Roth IRA and 401k that is in a PRENUP that i keep all of my assets and retirement (so does he) if the marriage dissolves. Protect yourself lovely women!!
So this woman had a family business and never saved any money in an account. My mum was a stay at home mum and had an account. When my dad gave her money she always put some away. Just because your husband give you money does not mean you have to spend every dollar. When your children are school age you can begin to go back to school if you want to. Her adult children need to get a part time job and help their mother. Something is not adding up when she said she got nothing from her divorce, no child support or spousal support. I wish her the best though , no one should be homeless.
It sounds like it was her ex-husband's business. But I do agree she should've saved a little something in her own account for a rainy day.
@@jaw5182 apparently they were mormon and the church leaders convinced her to give the business to her husband so she could fulfill a Godly marriage.
Have you considered that since she was clearly in a financially abusive marriage there was no way to get a secret bank account. Secondly financially abusive men don't just give up abusing you, once you divorce them. They will continue to make sure you don't get nothing or you get very little from the divorce.
She said he just didn't pay his child support.
She mentioned in a previous video that he drained their joint bank account less than 24 hours after she left him.
The 2nd woman had points, but she should understand that everyone is not as fortunate as her. Count your blessings and prepare for the famine.
The first person shouldn't be berated for expressing her experience.
My parents had a great marriage, never had a boyfriend but I figured when I was 21 that I should keep on never having a boyfriend because otherwise I’d be fucked. The phrase “it skips a generation” means so much to me. I’m glad my parents had a great marriage but I doubt I could.
I know what you mean. Times have changed, and mostly not for the better.
Honestly, I don’t believe in the it skips a generation because it has never skipped a generation in my family. The situation of the women in my family devastates me.
In this 21st century and the way this economy is set up, it's pretty risky to depend on another human being for financial stability. Although black women have understood this for quite some time, white women are now seeing that the lifestyle just ain't it. And as you can see, alimony and child support aren't guaranteed either. I figued sahm's could at least fall back on that, but nope! Not to mention the emotional toll it takes when men lie, have extra marital affairs, and don't support you emotionally.
I needed this. I'm stuck in this situation and finding out the hard way that this was a mistake.
I'm sorry about the pregnancy loses😢 Destiny. ❤
Thank you 🙏🏽🤎
Look at her isnt she exactly who society caters to??
What's that supposed to mean?
Absolutely this is why we in the predicament where in they never had rights their husbands controlled all things and in our communities big mama was always respected. I'm drinking my water minding my African business
@@nightwishisthegreatestband6355 Exactly what it says. She can get a job with a little training. Her looks and color will make her transition far easier than poc. Get it now??
@@mustbeheard9834I understood You lol She'll be alright 😅
There are no gaps of employment just don't get paid for what we do....accountant, childcare worker, chauffer, CNA, seamstress, personal shopper, maid, laundry cleaner short order cook!!!!
I've been a stay at home mom for 5 kids 40 yrs, now were grandparents 😊. We good
My sister's godmother was a stay at home mom to a 4 year old boy...her husband was an AMAZING man! Kind, generous and hard working...one morning she wakes up to find him d*ead on bed next to her....autopsy revealed cancer they had no idea was there! The only reason her and her son were not homeless is because her parents were well off and tehy supported her while she went to nursing school...
I get what this lady is saying. Not personally but by seeing a close friend of mine go through similar things that this lady did. I feel she is speaking more on her personal factors but non the less mess happens. I do feel like stay at home moms work their butts off to maintain the house hold and keep the kids in check, while still trying to keep their man happy. Nothing is wrong with that. My mother was a stay at home mom. There is a lot to do besides just babysitting a home. But at the sametime you still have to face reality that mess might happen, like divorce or someone dying. But one thing she did forget to say is that not everyone dies or get divorce but there are some who husbands who loose their jobs or get hurt on a job. Then that is when the house wife has to step up. That is why house wives should never be 100💯 dependent on the husband. Not because he might not be a good husband but he might get hurt die demoted or loose his job. A house wife should have some skills . A housewife should have some way of making a little money on her own. Yes a lot of women may say when do you have the time and I say housewives act like a single mom and find the time. I feel like ppl can make times for things that they want to do, so make time for things that matters and can be useful. It can be anything that will help to make you a little money that won't take up much time from the kids. Talk with your husband and work together. All I'm saying is that this lady has a point and it's nothing to argue about but to just think about. Ladies always make sure you is secure in life for you and your family.
You're both supposed to be happy and bring happiness to the relationship by pouring first into yourself so that you show up whole for each other...
On the subject of men dying young....my dad did. Left my mom a jobless widow with 3 small kids.
My mom had to completely start over in her 50s. Luckily she had remodeled every home we ever lived in with her own two hands, so she had grit and skills to fall back on. Was still hard as shit to do, but we made it.
God bless your mom 🙏🏾🤎
Wow, that very first lady had a very hard time providing for her family being a stay at home mom. It’s not for everyone especially if your spouse separated or low income. Remember my mom having a difficult time being a stay at home mom, she did an awesome job yet she had a similar experience just like this lady we barely had any food. It was so hard living off of one income. Being a stay at home mom is a blessing, I do think mother’s probably have to get remote job or work part time. If you have enough income from the spouse that’s a blessing. The way the economy set up its hard to survive off on one income.
She’s right though the First Lady, what’s wrong with being responsible over your own Funchal stays and save. The husband don’t even need to be unreliable HE CAN DIE.
I agree life happens but a lot of women don’t want to think or admit that their husbands can be different men than they think. That man has a dark side that women don’t want to acknowledge and they choose to be ignorance.
Her husband’s dark side liked street walkers and didn’t use protection.
It saddens me to see women in the comments debating about the minutia. When the glaring lesson is that our society does not value women. Our society does not protect women. This is an important distinction because I see too many women thinking they can like side-step societal misogyny by not having kids or whatever. No no hunny. It will come for you regardless. It will just show up in different forms/ways. It's so important for women of all life-styles to stay united. One womans suffering is all of our suffering.
This is a wise comment 😊
I feel as though women need to realize that a man does not need to leave you to leave you, he could die or become incapacitated then what will you do. If you are not financially independent you are putting your life and future in someone else's hands and that's not smart. When my aunt's husband died she was left with 6 kids and no prospects. She was unprepared. Have your own revenue stream ladies.
This made me think of the vid floating around where the husband found out his stay at home wife was stashing money....he said I give u money to pay the bills etc..she said I do and I take some to put up in case u decide to leave......now lol what got me was the comments, men really are thinking/believing these things do not happen and excused this woman of setting up to leave her husband and that she was a thief....I had to smmfh, that woman was covering her behind .....we are witnessing men being financially abusive we are watching this and yet men still believe women dont deserve shit even of they are their wives.....I always felt being a SAHM/WIFE was too risky so I advocated that women make their own money cause this is crazy
She is right! I’ve never been a stay at home mom and I thank God everyday I wasent. I mean what happens when the kids are older? Like what happens when your kids are adults so are you going to be a stay at home senior in a senior center that did nothing but raised your children. I have seen senior citizens doing part time work just to not be home I mean that’s always an option too. If you’re going to be a stay at home mom, make sure you have skills that’s all she’s saying.
i really wish the government would give ppl especially women money for being stay at home parents
If that’s her car…. Her def of broke is a lot different from most.
Are divorce was some years ago.
Your social payments are based off your past income. The more you make the more money you get in retirement.
I'm a mom and work, I like having and making my own money so I can provide for myself even though i am married.
I think it's fine to be a stay at home mom, just have a side hustle and squirrel away extra money. When I was a stay at home wife I put on my resume Domestic Engineer and then I put the time that I did it. I also did online college as well.
Nowadays marriages aren't lasting. There are too many people getting divorced over flip-it reasons. It's not romantic, but just think about all the things that could happen that could leave you homeless. Always protect yourself and be prepared.
Aww I’m so sorry for your loss. You seem like an amazing person. Your light continues to shine and I’m sure it will impact the lives of so many other people and children.
If she doesn’t remarry, she will qualify for 50% of his social security, which want be much but it will help.
In 1910 my great grandmother became a primary breadwinner for her four children when my great grandfather fell out of a loft and died from his injuries. Women have always had to work their asses off, husband and children or no husband and no children.
You could get sick or have an accident and not be able to work and end up being left by your spouse. Life happens, you adapt but you can't prepare for everything, you can try to, or your can invest in here and now and let tomorrow care for itself. People have different mentalities and ways of viewing life. just do you and allow others to do them. None of us have all the answers, everyone can make choices that's best for them and allow others so the same, and keep it moving. Why is it necessary to prove yourself right or prove the others wrong. Just do what's good for you. And Allow them do the same.
She's not lying if you don't have an education and no work skills than up in age now divorce too. He took care of everything your survival rate is low. You have to get alimony until you get a job. Now you have to get some insurance and beg the court so he can continue to pay the insurance for the kids but you will still be responsible for the co pay. Than if he's an I'm through father. Everything coming out of pocket groceries, household supplies, hygiene products, clothes, shoes, repair expenses if it's the house or car... oh don't forget car insurance. Stay at home moms need to think about the worse case scenario. Will you be ok if yall get a divorce?
My mom was working mom she still works. Honestly i prefer she working than being a stay at home mom. I don't feel i lacked anything yes including quality time together. Me and my siblings spend more time with my dad than mom due to her working hours. Imo we were all happy that way
I've read more than my fair share of mgtow comment sections and have to put on garden gloves to refrain from leaving comments because I know I'll be attacked😂
I actually read this comment:
"I don't care about no woman having a degree. She should be serving her man. Once women get some money they can leave you."
I SO wanted to ask this genius this:
"Sir, WHY would your woman want to leave you?"
These men never get to the why part. Excuse me...some of the men never get to the why part. Why would a woman take a job and a half over being cared for financially while staying home and caring for her family?
Fun fact: my dad whom I love paid all bills. When he died he left a bit of a mess. My hyper religious mother is now fixing this mess as she submitted then submitted some more so for the women that do want to stay at home and can because they have man earner in their life ..do the accounting with him to be sure he's not misusing money. My mother still worked on the side because my dad was not giving her allowance so thats ONE vasic reason for a woman to work. What grown woman wants tocbe crossing her fingers while asking her man for a couple dollars?
Exactly. When you ask modern men and women about why they avoid marriage, men are scared of divorce and women are scared of the marriage itself. If only men put more effort into the marriage part and women prepared for divorce better 😂
Also if only marriage was a temporary contract that needs to be consciously renewed...
I wish I could be a stay at home wife. But we can’t depend on my husband’s income alone. Now we are homeless because I took the summers (two months) off. Sometimes you can never recover.
Women have to work these days. I don’t even understand how this is a debate anymore.
If you are staying home, unless your kids are under the age of 5, it’s just laziness.
thank you for this video
If i have to be a stay at home mom then i have to be paid month salary. I should be working but I'm staying at home and waiting on you,yeah you are going to pay me salary.
Why would you ruin your body with pregnancy?
i agree 100%
@@CordeliaWagneri did it was horrific
yes work even if its part time develop skills I have few skills but I can sub-teach and I can work fulltime remotely
I work for a lot of these women. They aren’t affected because they are wealthy themselves and divorce will still land them with money. SAHM is not for the middle class and under.
Oh yeah…. And a beneficial pre-up. Please.
And know the laws in the state you have residency in.
3:59 FAAACCTS!!!!!!
The First Lady was a little harsh
Women need to stop being delusional about men’s true nature/makeup and our nature/ makeup as well. Like one of the ladies said she understands why women want marriage and the stay at home wife title because it’s HEAVLY marketed towards us since we were children for the sole purpose of reproduction. But the happy family with kids and the mom stays at home while the dad works is honestly not reality if it were the divorce rates wouldn’t be so high, it’s not smart or cute to not have your own in This Time Period. It’s also not realistic with the economy being the way that it is. so if you want to get married and have kids on top of that I would suggest doing A LOT of soul searching and research don’t go off of the small percentage of marriages that make that lifestyle work because it’s not going to work for every couple.