Howdy! from Hell by DrBlackJack21 | Humans are space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1065

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  • @ornerylurker8296
    @ornerylurker8296 3 роки тому +580

    To be fair, he’s clearly a country boy. You get used to hellish conditions and maintaining polite manners pretty quickly. He’s a good sport that one, he’ll go far!

    • @reggiehigh22
      @reggiehigh22 3 роки тому +25

      Lower Midwest to almost the South, just one who followed a herd up and down wrangling them, having to put up with boss man's bull while putting up with a pissed off bull. I live in Idaho but as kid Mississippi for a bit, so is it good or bad that I know at least three guys that fit the bill for this. Willey, Justin, and Brandon...maybe August but he cares to much about himself.

    • @Furyhound
      @Furyhound 3 роки тому +7

      If you call several decades to over a century "quickly"

    • @_tertle3892
      @_tertle3892 3 роки тому +8

      @@Furyhound in the scale of eternity it is

    • @terrorcop101
      @terrorcop101 3 роки тому +5

      Don't you mean "Hell" go far?

    • @torunsmok5890
      @torunsmok5890 3 роки тому +3

      And probably a bard

  • @vedymin1
    @vedymin1 3 роки тому +503

    That was one of the chaddest stories i heard...the guy turned demons and hell into his own personal paradise, with a house, a demon wifu and a job, all through making his mind and soul unbreakable :)

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +65

      I honestly imagined him being more simple than all that. This wasn't some grand plan of his, Alen is just friendly and lucky by nature, and maybe a little too dense...

    • @vedymin1
      @vedymin1 3 роки тому +42

      @@BlackJack-qg3ws Basically an anime protagonist with the density of a black hole...or maybe immortality and constant suffering changes one's perception of reality enough to be just another friday :)

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +38

      @@vedymin1 more or less what you said. Given enough time humans can adapt to almost anything. This story was kind of my answer to what happens when someone just "gets used" to hell. Remember, Alen's been there for over a thousand years already.
      Just a weird thought I had at work one day. Decided to jot it down for fun.

    • @vedymin1
      @vedymin1 3 роки тому +13

      @@BlackJack-qg3ws Very cool story, you have a knack at word weaving :) I wonder how many humans in hell could do that and basically make eternal torment null and void becouse of our adaptation...or was Alen an exception :)

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +8

      @@vedymin1 Didn't think it through that far, but i suppose sooner or later everyone would adapt.🤔

  • @blinking_dodo
    @blinking_dodo 3 роки тому +383

    "flaming clown spiders"
    Those should NEVER end up on earth...

    • @demonwolf8024
      @demonwolf8024 3 роки тому +49

      Something tells me that if it does show up, it'll be in Australia....

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +15

      I got that idea from an old "Loading Ready Run" skit. You can probably find it on youtube. 🤔

    • @davidragan9233
      @davidragan9233 3 роки тому +10

      @@demonwolf8024 Naw! Washington DC. Problem is though, nobody would even realize they are even there.

    • @blinking_dodo
      @blinking_dodo 3 роки тому +5

      @@BlackJack-qg3ws i won't.
      NO. just no.

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +3

      @@blinking_dodo you never see them, it's just a conversation between two "demons" (guys with cheap Holoween devil horns on their head) talking about how to increase efficiency in tormenting souls. I won't spoil more than that.

  • @paulhuston9991
    @paulhuston9991 3 роки тому +124

    Heaven won't take me and hell still has a restraining order on me so here I am on my phone. Lucky scoch bastard!

    • @derekbroestler7687
      @derekbroestler7687 Рік тому +3

      I'm totally stealing "Heaven won't take me and hell still has a restraining order on me so here I am"

  • @tornic531
    @tornic531 3 роки тому +118

    When I read the title and saw it listed as Space Orcs, I was fully expecting some insane intergalactic war with ol Slim Pickin’s riding the bomb again.
    Instead I got a wholesome-ish tale of hell and love. So nice

  • @Nomadic_Inquisitor
    @Nomadic_Inquisitor 3 роки тому +78

    Huh... Carved a small piece of Heaven out of Hell for himself... Wow

  • @SapphireTheDragon
    @SapphireTheDragon 3 роки тому +285

    I thought this guy was going to be one of those people that were "too kinky to torture" and his version of heaven was hell

    • @youtubestudiosucks978
      @youtubestudiosucks978 3 роки тому +11

      Are you?
      I got infinite energy and havent slept sinse i was 10 and nobody can keep up with me.
      Want to challenge somebody who can make Slaanesh go out of breath? 😏
      It's been 30years, i hate it so much

    • @SapphireTheDragon
      @SapphireTheDragon 3 роки тому +30

      @@youtubestudiosucks978 I have no idea how to reply to this comment nor do I understand how it relates to mine. Congratulations, you have confused me.

    • @LadyRavenEyes
      @LadyRavenEyes 3 роки тому +6

      I was thinking the same thing

    • @henrypaleveda7760
      @henrypaleveda7760 3 роки тому +13

      @@youtubestudiosucks978 anyone who can take the breath out of slaanesh probably doesn't use the methods that you are interested in

    • @youtubestudiosucks978
      @youtubestudiosucks978 3 роки тому +1

      @@henrypaleveda7760 i prefer to use the fun way

  • @BrunoMaricFromZagreb
    @BrunoMaricFromZagreb 3 роки тому +63

    Anyone heard of "Jerks are worse than villians"? Syndrome causes narrative tension but Bob's boss just mistreats his employees. I feel like Hell just got something like that in Alen,the first human to torture back demons and give them a challenge.

  • @makethomas752
    @makethomas752 3 роки тому +92

    Is that an alternative story of Helltaker???

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +11

      Just an odd thought I had at work when i was bored. It wasn't really based on anything.

    • @bernardrednix756
      @bernardrednix756 3 роки тому +4

      thats what i thought too

  • @samueltrusik3251
    @samueltrusik3251 3 роки тому +159

    Wow, this was really different from your usual stories. Well done.

  • @elfeater1760
    @elfeater1760 3 роки тому +149

    That was actually kind of cute, thank you Agro.

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +17

      a pleasure

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +18

      Most of my stuff has odd relationships like that, not always romantic (One I'm working on has a spider alien that basically adpots two human kids. No romance but still kinda sweet.), but odd. Maybe he'll read another of mine soon. 🤔

  • @zarlsalamandersspacemarine302
    @zarlsalamandersspacemarine302 3 роки тому +20

    I could see this guy in a Doom game just chillaxing in a lava jacuzzi and just happily waiving when you go by XD. Or in helltaker 2 as a fellow Chad just chilling in hell

  • @reikolupus136
    @reikolupus136 3 роки тому +26

    Where you are sentenced to eternal punishment in hell, but instead end marrying your tormentor.
    Now that''s a true man XD.

  • @davidvincent5701
    @davidvincent5701 3 роки тому +51

    I want to take this character into a DnD game. As a NPC he'll get a few laughs at the table.

    • @blackg0076
      @blackg0076 Рік тому +1

      a recurring NPC because they cannot kill him as he just gets a new body and comes back , just to show them the mistakes they are making BRRRROOOOHAHAHA

    • @johannesnoneoftheabove9957
      @johannesnoneoftheabove9957 6 місяців тому

      @@blackg0076 Speaking of finding the mistakes, "LEEEEERROYYY JENNKKINNNNNS!!!!!!!!"

  • @hinterlandseer6379
    @hinterlandseer6379 3 роки тому +81

    Genuinely one of my favorite stories on this site; had me laughing the entire time I'd first read it. You did a fantastic job on this reading, Agro!

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +4

      This was the first of my stories he's read, but they're all a little weird like this. Hopefully he reads more. 😁

  • @LasseROM
    @LasseROM 3 роки тому +13

    This turned surprisingly wholesome in a wierd way. Great story and narration.

  • @WingManFang1
    @WingManFang1 3 роки тому +15

    I mean….city of bones sounding a lot different now. Also props for finding a way to live in the unlivable, especially if you end up sleeping with the enemy

  • @eurogryphon
    @eurogryphon 3 роки тому +20

    That's an O. Henry-level twist. Well done.

    • @solcorvinusoftiktok9907
      @solcorvinusoftiktok9907 2 роки тому +1

      Haven’t heard that name in a while

    • @johns9652
      @johns9652 Рік тому

      I'd say he got the Lady, and the Tiger, although that's Stockton, not O. Henry.

  • @diomeadiesrogue5631
    @diomeadiesrogue5631 3 роки тому +12

    I'm adding this guy to my dnd campaign

  • @Templar1ca
    @Templar1ca 3 роки тому +86

    Demon: How long we been doing this?
    Allan: Well, I'd wager about 5-600 years, tops. You're almost there too, boy howdy!
    Demon looking at clipboard: Says here 12 millenia.
    Allan: Hoo-wee! That's gotta be a record! With all the hours we're putting in you'd think they'd give you a raise and put me on the payroll!
    Demon: D-do you WANT to be on the payroll?
    Allan: Well shoot... Since you asked...

  • @Calaban619
    @Calaban619 3 роки тому +5

    For the Algorithm
    My ears perked up a bit when Vivian said "all is forgiven".. was hoping Alan would have winked with a smile and disappeared.

  • @radioactiveassassin5218
    @radioactiveassassin5218 3 роки тому +5

    That was actually wholesome. Didn't expect that.

  • @Soloong_Gaybowzer
    @Soloong_Gaybowzer 3 роки тому +36

    This sounds like it belongs in Saints Row.

    • @asurasyn
      @asurasyn 3 роки тому +2

      Jezebel: "You, uhh, don't really need the gun."
      Johnny Gatt: "Yes, I do... It's part of my process."

  • @thelaughinghyenas8465
    @thelaughinghyenas8465 3 роки тому +6

    That teaches you the power of patience and positive thinking!

  • @joshuafuertes4191
    @joshuafuertes4191 3 роки тому +27

    First time I caught an actual premiere! Awesome job! I loved this story

  • @carlfromtheoc1788
    @carlfromtheoc1788 2 роки тому +2

    "Even James Coco was begging for mercy after four days." "Less talk, more donuts."

  • @kurtismiller9544
    @kurtismiller9544 3 роки тому +7

    Granny taught him his manners well

  • @Crazylom
    @Crazylom 3 роки тому +74

    Twas was the story of one dude who was weird.
    He was so weird, he helped demons to get better at torturing.
    THE END!

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  3 роки тому +4

      lol

    • @somuchfacepalm9733
      @somuchfacepalm9733 3 роки тому +8

      All for some demon tail. Well, eternity in hell is a long time to not get any.

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +4

      @@somuchfacepalm9733 Well in fairness, I don't know if Alen is the type to look that far ahead. It was probably just a pleasant surprise...

    • @seldonwright4345
      @seldonwright4345 Рік тому

      @@somuchfacepalm9733 I was wondering when that tidbit would pop up.

  • @MyrdinAnnoth
    @MyrdinAnnoth Рік тому +2

    This reminded me of a manga I`ve read. About a guy who ended in Hell and had to suffer to pay the Karmic debt (so no endless torment). A cute Oni girl was assigned to him. He like many others tried to avoid the excruciating pain, but that just prolonged his stay. Well eventually stuff happened, he came through and paid it off but in the end decided to stay in Hell with his new Oni wife haha. The torture scenes were rather brutal and gory but its funny how you get used to it when there are bits and pieces of wholesomness sprinkled in between :D

  • @alexrees6969
    @alexrees6969 3 роки тому +3

    Dunno why but this one had me chuckling for ages

  • @Eramiserasmus
    @Eramiserasmus 3 роки тому +3

    How is this wholesome? Only through Agro's great acting!

  • @alexanderzhmurov9624
    @alexanderzhmurov9624 3 роки тому +4

    Definitely one of the more unusual and imaginative stories I've seen,
    big kudos to DrBlackJack21,
    it probably also deserves it's own subgenre classification like "humans are space orcs/humans are weird/deathworlders" etc. stories get...
    "subverted expectations and wholesome stories out of horror experience" or something like that...
    this reminds me of "writing a letter to satan(instead of santa)..." has a similar feel to it... definitely needs more anthological entries or a sequel or a cameo to add from/with this :)
    and it definitely fits in with my other such favourites, such as that supernatural bartending "creepypasta(?)" series... "a bar that serves unusual drinks in exchange for stories"

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому

      Well there is a subreddit called "wholsomenosleep" its horror with a wholsom touch. Its not a large subreddit, and kind of slow these days, but theres still some good stuff there. I did submit this story to them as well as HFY, even though I'd say it was a little light on the horror side... 🤔

    • @TheEccentricJester
      @TheEccentricJester Рік тому

      r/hellsome

  • @Warutteri
    @Warutteri 3 роки тому +9

    What an amazing story, makes me wish there were more!

  • @jessehenson8923
    @jessehenson8923 3 роки тому +14

    Great and funny story. Of course he couldn't be broken again, he's from Texas. If I owned both Hell and Texas, I'd live in Hell and rent Texas out.

    • @johnpayne5590
      @johnpayne5590 3 роки тому +1

      hell is better than texas

    • @jessehenson8923
      @jessehenson8923 3 роки тому +1

      @@johnpayne5590 Preaching to the choir. I live in TX.

    • @johnpayne5590
      @johnpayne5590 3 роки тому +2

      @@jessehenson8923 texas is like hell but on steroids while bench pressing the rest of the world

    • @tripps3631
      @tripps3631 3 роки тому +2

      At least it ain't California

    • @johnpayne5590
      @johnpayne5590 3 роки тому +2

      @@tripps3631 nah california is fire

  • @jakeand9020
    @jakeand9020 Рік тому +1

    So his job is to improve demons torture skills by having them torture him.
    Kind of puts a whole new spin on "my job is torture."

  • @jdtheone
    @jdtheone 3 роки тому +3

    Well that's not a usual story but flaming clown spiders is a new one I like it and of course for the algorithm

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому

      I took that idea from an old "Loading ready run" skit. You can probably find it on youtube.

  • @johnathanstephenson8107
    @johnathanstephenson8107 3 роки тому +3

    Intriguing concept. Some of the best relationships are the odd ones. I like it.

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +1

      I have an habbit of including odd relationships in my stories. Human and 7 foot tall alien amazon, human and eldritch horror, a spider alien hive mind that adopts two human children (not romantic, but still a relationship.), an AI with multiple personalities, another AI who considers all of humanity to be her partner, and more. This was the first of my stories Agro's read, but maybe he'll pick up another. 🤔

  • @DragonRoost1
    @DragonRoost1 3 роки тому +1

    Oh gods and hells. HE'S SCOTTISH!! That explains everything

  • @samsignorelli
    @samsignorelli 5 місяців тому

    "Torment auditor" got me laughing until I cried! FANTASTIC story!!

  • @julesmasseffectmusic
    @julesmasseffectmusic Рік тому

    As an Ozzie the lack of floods, and magpie mating season makes hell seem like a mild autumn

  • @LORD_NULL
    @LORD_NULL 2 роки тому +1

    Reminds me of the story the “blacksmith and the devil” where a blacksmith gives satan such a hard time when the blacksmith dies and has to go to hell satan won’t let him in because he’s so much darn trouble.

  • @chrissoto7187
    @chrissoto7187 3 роки тому +2

    Lol 😂 there are so many dirty jokes! But I think I’ll save them for when I get there.

  • @IRMentat
    @IRMentat 3 роки тому +2

    a positive attitude can help you go a long way.

  • @bennynash6655
    @bennynash6655 8 днів тому

    A case of 'if you can't beat them, hire them.' good story

  • @lornbaker1083
    @lornbaker1083 2 роки тому +1

    So the main character who speaking to the so-called demon is clearly just doomguy only with a more stable psyche. All the capacity to withstand even the worst the Demons of hell can throw at him. But he hasn't lost himself to insane Madness and gibbering foaming at the mouth rage. Instead he's using his mind and digging around with their mental state. That I really like. And it kind of makes sense. Once you finally realize there is literally nothing they can do to you. And there is nothing that you have to fear and no reason to even feel it.

  • @hollyferay8131
    @hollyferay8131 3 роки тому +2

    That was full of grins.

  • @alfredsutton7233
    @alfredsutton7233 3 роки тому +2

    For the algorithm, five words minimum. Good on Alen!

  • @voidcore9323
    @voidcore9323 3 роки тому +2

    I heard and read it as Flamig Cow Spiders.

  • @christopherrhodes3228
    @christopherrhodes3228 3 роки тому +5

    That was a *Hell* of a story!

  • @beingsneaky
    @beingsneaky 3 роки тому +3

    How about flaming clown scorpion flying spiders?? Lol

    • @Templar1ca
      @Templar1ca 3 роки тому

      Thanks, I hate it.
      Wait for the movie, from the people who brought you Sharknado and Lavalantula.

    • @oblivion715
      @oblivion715 3 роки тому +1

      @@Templar1ca Groovy, I hate it!

  • @PoldaranOfDalaran
    @PoldaranOfDalaran 2 роки тому

    That guy sounds like a character my old roommate would play in a TTRPG.

  • @prestonboord4873
    @prestonboord4873 3 роки тому +6

    I hope your back is doing well

  • @norneaernourn8240
    @norneaernourn8240 8 місяців тому

    Smooth. That is a biblical operator.

  • @zachmansfield6640
    @zachmansfield6640 2 роки тому

    "What are you even down here for?"
    "You never saw my search history?"

  • @bf-696
    @bf-696 5 місяців тому

    A delightful tale.

  • @Bonesaw4444
    @Bonesaw4444 3 роки тому +2

    May the algorithm support your squirrel farm

  • @BlackJack-qg3ws
    @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +12

    This story looks familiar for some reason... weird. 🤔

    • @carbonbeaker409
      @carbonbeaker409 3 роки тому +1

      Cat

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому +2

      @@carbonbeaker409 he's my coauthor. Sits with me while I write my stories. 😁

  • @blackg0076
    @blackg0076 Рік тому

    Ex army defiantly , used to the standard carbonized food from the mess hall, so nothing will ever scare him ever again.

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 Рік тому

    Thank you for the reading

  • @MrGoesBoom
    @MrGoesBoom 3 роки тому +1

    14:00 I just realized, poor Vivian had to deal with a Karen! Ha!

  • @notafrisbee5907
    @notafrisbee5907 3 роки тому +4

    Awesome one! A bit unusual, but for all the better.

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 3 роки тому +2

    Bless the Squerril
    Bless the Author

  • @leifjbj
    @leifjbj 3 роки тому +4

    Loved this one! For the algorithm

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 3 роки тому +1

    For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

  • @brianmeadows1137
    @brianmeadows1137 Рік тому

    My kind of woman, treat her right no matter what kind of hell she puts you through, it's worth her love.

  • @johnpayne5590
    @johnpayne5590 3 роки тому +1

    Did the man just pull a "helltaker" on her

  • @SergeyWaytov
    @SergeyWaytov 3 роки тому +1

    Guy's fucking best ever representative of a country man, hahahaha!

  • @Captain_p0wer
    @Captain_p0wer 3 роки тому +2

    Now THIS is wholesome ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @eliandervalderen5849
    @eliandervalderen5849 2 роки тому

    I can't believe the end of that story. Especially considering what happened to the Tormentor

  • @dioscurimas1018
    @dioscurimas1018 2 роки тому +1

    I'm glad I wasn't laying down for the night when I heard this story. Its funny and Fn terrifying at the same time. Heeby geebies !!!!!

  • @carlll6101
    @carlll6101 3 роки тому +1

    And that was real story of the "Helltaker"

  • @thunderbird4636
    @thunderbird4636 3 роки тому +1

    Funny story didn't expect that ending

  • @Xerdar36
    @Xerdar36 2 роки тому

    Talk about looking about the bright side of life… turning battery acid into lemons and then finally lemonade… I like the story

  • @skyrere
    @skyrere 3 роки тому +1

    so stinkin adorable. I love it.

  • @muhschaf
    @muhschaf Рік тому

    given his accent i assume he is from the Aussie Country side called...outback...regarding some rumors of this place, the ninth circle of Hell must be like Holiday in Paradise for him

  • @ouberfox5898
    @ouberfox5898 3 роки тому +1

    I love it

  • @joem1480
    @joem1480 2 роки тому

    Flaming clown spiders huh? I think I'll take notes for the DND campaign I'm running. At some point Mike players should face them

  • @KroMagnum4
    @KroMagnum4 3 роки тому +1

    I'm kinda speechless on this 🤣

  • @secretobvious6033
    @secretobvious6033 3 роки тому +2

    well that was wholesome

  • @macpurdy
    @macpurdy 2 роки тому

    For the algorithm and the narrator.

  • @alexanderjamesaustin
    @alexanderjamesaustin 3 роки тому

    Damn, thats pretty wholesome

  • @joe2501echo
    @joe2501echo 3 роки тому +2

    tbh, that job would be made easier by the simple fact that every single person there deserves it.

  • @pvtgoo2234
    @pvtgoo2234 3 роки тому +1

    I really loved this new story!!!'

    • @BlackJack-qg3ws
      @BlackJack-qg3ws 3 роки тому

      Why thank you! This is tue first of mine he's read, maybe he'll read more. 😉

  • @dementededge3266
    @dementededge3266 3 роки тому +1

    Am I the only one who wants to hear Agro sing a sea shanty?

  • @iljastalberg5610
    @iljastalberg5610 3 роки тому +1

    Bha the lad had gone and did it XD

  • @linus8380
    @linus8380 Рік тому

    the scotsman alen is now esentially the Torture Dept. therapy device for their employees

    • @linus8380
      @linus8380 Рік тому

      i commented this before i heard the ending.

  • @jeroylenkins1745
    @jeroylenkins1745 3 роки тому +1

    damn humies!

  • @colinmurphy525
    @colinmurphy525 10 місяців тому

    Im more than a little worried. In what Allen did that got him to hell in the first place.

  • @Da_Shark
    @Da_Shark 3 роки тому +1

    This is why even thou I grew up Christian i was always an atheist
    Heaven and hell make no damn sense nothing is going to be fun or tormenting after a certain amount of time and if you have all eternity heaven will eventually become boring and you will get depressed and hells tortures will become old news and pain also not that big a deal
    Nothing can stay interesting to a human for all eternity we just are not capable of that

  • @jonnycoathanger8399
    @jonnycoathanger8399 11 місяців тому

    Al Bundy.
    He knows his way around Hell.

  • @craftysmithkeith3653
    @craftysmithkeith3653 3 роки тому +1

    he's in hell for something, but for what?

  • @davidvanhorn3340
    @davidvanhorn3340 Рік тому

    "Most beautiful demon in all of Hell".....Mazikeen changed her name to Vivian?

  • @lloydkeith3061
    @lloydkeith3061 3 роки тому +2

    Ah,... the principles of stoicism applied to hell. Hahaha!

  • @royalroses123
    @royalroses123 3 роки тому +1

    Good Read

  • @asandrewsilvaw
    @asandrewsilvaw 3 роки тому +2

    For the algorithm

  • @commanderd-day6290
    @commanderd-day6290 Рік тому

    Country boy so wholesome he gets adopted by a demon

  • @bathroomprophet2310
    @bathroomprophet2310 3 роки тому +1

    Ha , fun.

  • @theonetodefyall238
    @theonetodefyall238 2 роки тому

    keeper going

  • @ashesonwool1077
    @ashesonwool1077 3 роки тому +1

    That was a fun one

  • @torkusqerdoon1062
    @torkusqerdoon1062 3 роки тому +1

    aw, this was so wholesome