Jay Shetty ON Purpose | 6 Healthy Ways to Heal and Move On From Heartbreak
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- Опубліковано 7 чер 2019
- In this episode of On Purpose, I’m discussing healthy ways to deal with heartbreak. I share how you need to feel before you heal, why you should never define your self worth by how someone treats you and how to stop looking at love as a noun and start treating it as a verb. I know heartbreak is one of the worst pains you can feel so I hope these tips can help you healthily heal.
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Jay Shetty is now an award-winning host, storyteller and viral content creator. Since launching his video channel in 2016, Jay’s viral wisdom videos have garnered over 4 billion views and gained over 20 million followers globally. This makes him one of the most viewed people on the internet internationally.
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I decided to heal after my break instead of having rebound relationship. To be a healthy person and be ready one day for my next relationship
Same but it’s been quite difficult.
@@notyournovacane1456 trust I completely understand you. Everyone used to tell me time heals but it’s not time it’s your mind that needs the healing that needs to be changed. Believe in your self that you can make it happen. Don’t let the pain break you! God has a purpose trust in him. What heals a person is a new mind.
You will.
@@notyournovacane1456 I can only imagen I was there two and still am but I’m feel much better. I never thought I was ever going to feel good and happy. He was my first bf I was super attached to him. Your heart broke. Either makes you or break you it’s up to us. You can do it !
@@lidiapanettiere7268 thank you. I definitely have more Berger days than bad days. He was my first real bf & is the father of my only child so the healing processes feels heavy sometimes, especially when I have to deal with him. I’m in a much better than place but still have my breakdown moments here & there . I appreciate your kind words
1. Feel every Emotion & articulate them into labels and notice any patterns
2. learn from the situation - don't think in coulda or shoulda about the past.
3. Set Real Relationship Expectations
4. learn the difference between Emotional Age vs Biological Age
5. Dependency - learning to not loose your identity in future relationships & to keep multiple relationships -friends/family
6. Wait before dating again - learn to heal first.
It's not only a matter of self-worth, Jay, it's rejection that hurts so much. When you are in love, you want to share your feelings with your beloved one to be loved in return but when it's not reciprocated, then you feel so much pain because of unmutual feelings that it can lead to depression.
I think its more of an ego..we take everything to our ego even rejection
In my opinion, the rejection feeling came from the past (child/family). At least, in my case. All the love that i want and need in the past, i put it on the shoulder of my (ex) love. At breakup, i was lost: no love, no hope, no me. Its sucks but now, cause i know, i can start heal. At last, a hope.
True
Been trying to heal from the heart break over my ex bf , i have been letting him come back over over again thinking he has changed , today i am letting go , it hurts so much , its like i have given up on my life the past 4 years but i want to live again i am tired of letting him use me
You are on the right track. Let it go, heal yourself and love yourself more than ever. You can do this ❤
It hurts so badly, I am also experiencing the same thing.. we will definitely get through this.
Same case but ex gf,now i was tired up , now i think nothing can be like back and now i dont wanna give another chance ,enough of she playing with my feelings
@Desiree Valdovinos and God has been faithful , I am happy now it’s all in the past now
How are you feeling today? Did you completely move on
There is no cure of a broken heart. Time will heal... but you have to go through the hell on the process.
Heartbreak is the most agonizing feeling ever. It feels like a lighting bolt explosion 💥 on the inside. Trusting and waiting on God this time around for a Godly man.
I waited for 3 yrs then got someone; that went south after 2 yrs.
Another 3 yrs and another person, but I don't know what's going to happen, because it's real frustration and problems.
So, this waiting on God thing doesn't really seem to be working out.
It's a terrible place to be, I feel like my heart is gonna explode 😢
Exactly one year since since my separation that I hear this gem today. Jay’s points is exactly what is needed to move on and be a better version of yourself. I’ve improved myself by staying single and focusing on rebuilding relationships with family and friends and most importantly myself. If there’s one thing to take away from this vid is don’t walk away from your feelings, recognize it and work through it. If you don’t and just walk away from it, you’re actually carrying it with you. Stay blessed!
What did you do to work through negative emotions? for example did you just sit there and say I feel shit about my self and waited till it passed?
I needed to hear that 🙏 thank you. Jay is in inspiring and well mannered mentor I enjoy him and his beautiful wife.
You said and explained that well
Some people are too broken to really show or receive love. We cannot hold on to that kind of brokenness and stay broken also. Our hearts need healing deep on the inside, transforming and returning to us to love again.
Sad reality... Absolutely accurate. My ex felt uncomfortable every time I did something that showed him I loved him. He doesn't know what loves feels like, or how to give love to anyone. Sadly, he will never learn. I feel bad for him.
Thank you so much! I'm crying.. Everybody needs to hear this. OMG Its easy to say I will do these things, but I will try. Best of luck to all, may we all be whole again! :)
Hope
Pray cry and I really don't know what to say as the hurt is so bad 😞
🙏🏾
An ex unfortunately cheated and shortly after the anorexia began. Today I found out he got married. And hearing the truth about self worth has set me free. I needed to hear this. Thank you❣
I come here 1 day after my GF of 8 years breaks up with me. I've had my best friend pass away and even that doesn't compare to this. My world has been completely shattered and now I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I really hope that this healing process doesn't take too long because I don't think I will be able to cope.
I know who can can help you restor your relationship in matter of hours contact him now+2348088674881
Oh wow i lost my best friend my mentor and yesterday my wife left me for another man we are not alone
@Diraksh Sangma im sorie but this is the 3de time my wife left me so dont think i can ever get back with her again not after what happened this time
@@adriaanvandenberg5431 I’m so hearbroken. It’s been two months and I haven’t got better! How are things with you?
@@livenow13 still holding on hope you get better i know not easy but yea we need to move on ive been watching alot of David goggins and jay videos and its helpful
Holy. Shit. That was the best “how to heal from heart break” I’ve ever experienced. Amazing
I have been on my own now for almost 3 years after 20 year marriage,I have done allot of work on me and threw myself into me and my new interest ,hobbies and understanding who I am and what I can bring to the table allows my standards of a man coming in at a higher level because I see myself at a higher level,it is very important to be alone and heal .Today in my life I am so happy within myself and grateful for all the blessings and lessons my ex has giving me.He is a good man just not good for me
Broke up with him last week - it still hurts so bad - he helped open my heart to loving again after 14 years of a terrible relationship - I thought we were doing well, but behind my back he was telling others a total different story. All I know is that I gave my 100 into this relationship, still doing things on my own but he saw me as needy and clingy ( the house was robbed and I ask him to stay until I got more security) I’m glad it happened the way it did, it made me realize that if he couldn’t just stay for a week, to help keep us safe, what am I doing with his person. I would never do that to him, I was prepare to take care of one another.
I'm so sorry.
Come back to listening this, still can't handle the pain. Still have to cry.
For me, it's been 8 months (4 yr relationship) and I still cry every now and then. I have to remind myself to take it one day at a time. You got this :)
It's been almost 3 years and I can't still forgive him... I can't open my heart to love someone else..
Love is not a noun it’s a verb...best definition I’ve heard.. After growing up with a narcissistic dad, and now ending my second marriage to a second narcissist, the “love being a verb” jumped out at me. With narcissists, words and actions rarely match, so as often as I was told I was loved the loving behavior just wasn’t there. This video really helped..I’m trying to find out who I am through the heartbreak... Thank you for some great insight!
Isn't "love" an abstract noun?
Sounds all too familiar
I would say another important one (that has helped me) is: Recognize WE HAVE BROKEN A HEART AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIFE. We have rejected someone, left someone, fallen out of love with someone or simply did not fall in love with since the beginning. This is a reality we have to remind ourselves. Sometimes I think it's Karma for the pain I caused (unintentionally) to other guys.
The reality is you cannot make someone love you if they don't. Remember how you felt when someone expressed they were in love with you but you weren't. Being able to see from that perspective gives somewhat peace, at least to me.
Be strong everybody, we will all get through this!
So true, we tend to see ourselves as victims and forget that we had been in the other side. Thanks for that.
He just left me bcoz his parents didn’t agree for our love. It left me devastated and doubt self worth.. He got married yesterday to a girl of his parents choice. 2 years since he broke with me, I couldn’t hate him! I hv been in immense pain, suffering and struggling to heal.
Thank you for this video Jay, this surely helped me for now.
Will listen every time until I make peace with myself and realise how worthy I am!
Are you over him now?
@@madhavsubedi3636 yes! Healing at my own pace. I am in love with myself again :)
The same thing happened with me as well. It's painful, but you need to accept it howsoever and let your pain out everytime it hits you.
There's no shortcut!
Perfect video. Jay nailed it about this being a time for yourself! I love how he said that you should you this heartbreak as an opportunity and not view it for what the relationship was.
OMG!! everyone needs to hear this. I'm taking notes. Thank you so much Jay
This was so helpful! Thanks Jay for this and everything you do! You are making such a difference!
I am a broken heart girl who is trying to heal. I hope I will be fine. I know I deserve to be alone. I will be happy alone. 🙂
Just got broken too then came in the comments see people going through the same
You do not deserve to be alone, you have to accept you’re working through things and find someone that accepts your journey too
We are not broken....yes a piece of our emotional hearts may have been taken away . But our hearts are still intact. We are whole.we are beautiful and we are letting go of smthg good for smthg better.
@@Blackchang45272 Hope you are doing fine soon. :)
@@melanierodriguez9684 Thank you :)
I am healing from betrayal and fake love after 3 years, I'm in millions pieces 💔
Same here...
@@lusymakaveli2038 same here...
Same here
Same
Just been crying and crying and it's not getting easier.When I'm out there I'm strong but alone in my space I cry and cry....i hate nights when I go to bed..i only sleep 4 hrs crying.its been 3 days and I'm so lost.
“Were you being shown that you are loved, or were you being told that you are loved.” That hit me hard
Nothing can heal a broken heart.. we just learn to live with it
It will heal baby just give it some time I’m going through but one day it will disappear We just need trust the process
Are you talking about me dude 😪
it doesn't heal.. we just get too many things in between but the point A never disappears, it's just that the distance gets longer between Point A and B
I agree
Nothing can heal a broken heart
I agree too 😭
It's good to hear you. Sound is clear and powerful.
I've actually listened to this over and over and it gingers me😊
Thank you! A very informative, detailed and compassionate analyses with a lot of sound advice!
This message just came in at the right time and it's really helping me. Thanks so much for this 😊
I needed to hear this today, thanks for sharing 😊
Always look forward the future.. dont hold your past it makes you stock and you can't start..
6 ways to move on from heart break:
1. Recognise and address every emotion. Learn pattern of emotions. Articulate your emotions, feel it, label it and address it. Don't run away from it.
2. Focus on learning from situation. Accept reality. Don't repaint when someone shows emotions.
3. Real expectations of ideal relationship together.
4. Be at same emotional age/stage in life and not just on physical age to connect at emotional/mental level.
5. Improve dependency/friends at certain area and community on interest area. Multiple people who fulfill multiple necessities.
6. Please wait before dating. No rebound/revenge. Heal first. Build great relationship with self.
get your ex back or restore someone you love
Thank you for noting it down☺
Thank you, Jay. Needed to hear this. 🙏💛
My marriage of 21 years is over, my husband stop loving me and say that for the las 12 years his life was miserable. Within that time he betrayed me three times! I think is time to open my eyes and stop idealising him. My worth was defined by how he treat me and made me feel. For Him our marriage was a waste of time for him.
My ex partner of 21 years had been cheating on me and has made a whole new life with this new person. He has moved in with her. Lots of cosy expensive romantic hotel trips behind my back. He spent Christmas and new year with her, even though he’s been phoning texting me saying he wants to be with me, but he says stuff but his actions are not his with her every day. I’ve been listening and hoping and believing him. 4 days ago he came we chatted he broke down so bad and said he would leave her and come home...I was so kind and caring to him and was there for him. He made me think we was going to be together again. He went straight back to her house after he left me, lying to me says he’s not there! Now I’ve stopped contract and no spoke since that day. It’s killing me...I only found out about his new life when I saw them together drive past me. I’m just so messed up. And I feel like I can’t go on. I’ve lost interest in anything. Sometimes I can’t even get out of bed! 💔🥲 x
Love is a verb not a noun,
Love is not what one feels, love is what one does! ❤️💯
Thanks a lot Jay you are really a blessing. . You helped me a lot now I can enjoy my life in peace
Emotional ages and stages. Yes. Good point.
Been listening to this on repeat. My gf just ended our relationship after 7 years & a month before our wedding!! I’m so hurt!!! I don’t understand. She said she’s not happy being with me?? WTF?? Thank you for this podcast! I need this. && will try to get through this
@Dean La Franchi completely understand !! But I can admit by day it gets easier. At first I kept questioning myself but their lost lol good luck to you
Kind of in the same boat after 6 years. Hardest thing I have gone through. I’m so sick and feel so stuck. I hate my life and I want to move on desperately but I’m so depressed
I should have never married my ex...he was physically and mentally abusive...better to cancel...I should have
❤❤❤✌✌❤
How are things now Justice?
Beautiful, this is so helpful. I am beyond grateful. 🙏♥️
Was hurt by a man who had no intentions of getting serious ( unknowingly ) was hurt by my children's fathers and built a wall around me and my children. He demolished that wall and I loved him. I asked him for nothing but mutual trust and respect/ honesty.
I supported him to be the best person he could be and was constantly slated by his family...im not good enough for him because I have two children.
My confidence was rock bottom to be told your not good enough to marry someone can have a lasting impact.
I have been learning to let go of the scratches, some scars still remain.
Hopefully God blesses us all xx
This video is amazing..... All is not lost one can still pick up the broken pieces and rebuild his or her life
This was very inspiring with great points. Many thanks
Thanks you so much jay am happy to be heartbroken coz now I can see myself I was so lost thinking of his happiness that I forgot about my own happiness I used to see sad moments,in his life that I didn't know what makes me happy.am not sad that he doesn't love me because now I can see myself and think about my own happiness.
Wow...hearing about physical age vs. emotional age from this video 2 1/2 weeks after my breakup REALLY opened my eyes. After my ex ended our relationship, one of the thoughts that kept repeating in my mind and made me really sad was the fact that we were only 1 1/2 months apart in age. I kept thinking over and over again, "What are the odds that I will meet someone else this close to me in (physical) age ever again?" because I thought being so close in physical age was an essential ingredient for a successful relationship. We had, in fact, very different EMOTIONAL ages and that's one of the big things that caused the relationship to falter after 5 years of trying to make it work. While I don't want someone TOO far apart from me in physical age (I'm 48 as of the writing of this comment), one important thing I will prioritize when I'm ready to move on with someone else is to make sure we're at similar stages in life, regardless of the difference in our physical ages.
Gotta be brave!!! And keep going amongst the loss of all that goes with the end of a marriage. Sitting and working in nature has really helped me. So have my animals🐱
This is such a great video on healing and moving on after a breakup! That's exactly what I am doing from my long term relationship with my ex boyfriend! Our relationship ended badly by text and we both walked away without closure! I am at peace now and enjoying my life single again! We were not growing together after all the years we were in that relationship! I am still grieving and healing . however, this was best for me to not go back to him. I think he felt this way about me too.😊
JAY Great INFORMATION AND VIDEO THANKS MAN. ALWAYS on POINT. GREAT GREAT VIDEO with a EPIC INFORMATION. ENJOYED
Thank you for your lovely video, I do appreciate it very much
Absolute wise words from a person I truly believe. Gave me a silver lining in a dark cloud. Thanks
get your ex back or restore someone you love
Its been 2 months since he broke up with me. I still havent move on. ❤️ What hurts me the most is that he did everything so that i love hin and when i loved him, he stopped loving me.
Same but slowly succeeding, hope you are too. P.s. fuck him. Best of luck
Why do men do that
You are amazing Jay. Thank you..
God bless you❤️🙏
I am currently dealing with a break-up from a 3 month relationship. The very first relationship I opened my heart to after 11 years of waiting since my divorce. This podcast is so helpful in guiding me to understand the feelings I am currently going through. It encourages me to redefine and heal myself without losing faith in LOVE and to avoid doing things that are ineffective to attain the peace I would like to attain for me and the people around me. The podcast promotes growth for those who wants to embrace the pain and hurts they are dealing with and use it to build a stronger character and to fully understand what LOVE truly means. Thank you Jay Shetty.
Dr Frank can make your ex come back to you for a second chance. He was the one who helped me restore back my broken relationship of 3 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Frank always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him.
Wh@tsApp him for help
I love your all videos ur videos gives me an inspire to me
Thank uhhhh sirr these videoo helped me alot♥️
Helpful advice guys take heart we will overcome probably we giving our hearts to the wrong people
Exactly what I needed to hear right now. Thank you
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
It’s just this one heart break. The other ends have worked themselves out by some means or another. Not that time is the cure but in time peace in self can be found... except this time.
It’s residual hurt that seems to last.
Wowww, thank you, Jay. You never disappoint. I really resonated with the part about emotional age. My Iranian ex partner is 18 years younger than me and when he ended the relationship on our way home from holiday, I was crushed. I went through all of the emotions as you would in a death. I took another holiday to work on healing myself. We meet up about twice a month. We are learning how to be friends and leave the past in the past. I’ve learned so much about myself, so him actually breaking up with me was a favour.
Thank you so much. I am at the first stage. I will not run away from my emotions, I will face them.
Thank you so much!
I needed to hear this.
Great principles thank you so much! 💗
Thanks for your wise words,
Thank you. This is all I needed to hear today and practice:)
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
This is fabulous information!
thank you jay,this really helped a lot.
Thanks you for this 💓
So, I've never heard of you before. Today, I woke up with terrible anxiety. Had a date with a girl, first date. It went well, I think. But she's just not great at communicating, so it hurts my confidence in myself. And I needed to hear this, today. Thanks.
This is all what I need to hear. Thank you. ❤️
Thank you .
I think that you are right. We should let come our feelings.we should not try to avoid our feelings. Cause during 1month i avoided my feelings. Then after 1month my feelings needed to show up. I started crying. Yeah we should feel that pain
Yes you must heal. Do No Rebounding!
Thank you so much Jay🙏
Your the best Jay, This help so much !.
Hey I know who can help you restor your ex fast,he helped me contact him via whatapp now+2348088674881
Thank you brother.
Thank you!
I can’t seem to move forward... it’s like a walking nightmare
Learn from situation
Go with your feeling
Expectation setting
Thank you
2 years healing from break up.
20 months ... narcissistic abuse
How are you
Yep. Me too.
my BF just broke up with me 3 days ago have to move i can’t move crying all nigth and day!!!
My husband just left me for another women divorced me I’m still dealing with this my heart is crushed it really is! I delted all my social media as I can’t be seeing him with someone else!
I have ben hurt deeply by those whom i loved and trusted.Each day i recall and i feel so down,discouraged,dejected,distraught,tormented,life gas lost meaning.
I'm crying so hard, my ex-wife slept with a guy in my house behind my back and I left her and stumbled upon a very sweet girl only a few months after I lost self-control and slept with my ex-wife 2 months into the new relationship and I still can't completely figure out why I let go of control. I feel that I should have had this video in my mind before I made that mistake, I've been trying for the last 3 years of this new relationship to repair the damage I did and I feel like we are just now breaking even and slowly embracing each other as a power couple even though both her and I have major mental illnesses, I'm a hopeless romantic and manically depressed sex addict, she has borderline personality disorder extreme anxiety and PTSD from a prior sexually abusive relationship, and all I want to be in life is content with her
Sorrry sorry
Garrett Walraven 😭 it must be painful for you I can understand
Hope you find someone loyal
Hope u get through this
Same here just my ex leave me for his wrong doubt...
Helpful video
Wow. This was so deep for me
Thanks Jay, your podcasts really help 😊🙏❤️
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
i have been dating the dude for almost a year im schooling in university and he failed form 5 and he is 3 years ahead of me so he came to me broken hearted by her ex .things went smoothly till he changed his mind and got bck to his ex he told me ,his ex came back for him and loved her so he choose her and i was left broken hearted cos i loved the dude while he loved someone else
This is so timely...
Yes, I will listen to this again and again even when I'm healed. Because everyone deserved to be loved and to give love.
❤❤❤
Thank you. ♥️♥️♥️
Good one
Am learning everyday,
I love your comments about not spreading a revenge or rebound culture If my ex had listened to number 6 and taken time after his last relationship, I would not have been hurt when he went back to his ex. I will make sure I don’t do the same thing. It stops with me.
Been through the same💔
I'm going through this right now and it hurts sooo much. It's been 5 months now I really do love him his still in love with his ex and the other day he blocked me on.everything we didn't have contact when we were unblocked but weed view each other's stuff. But yeah he was also my first love. I gave him so much of love sacrificed so many relationships just to find out the whole time he was still in love with his ex. And that he played me it hurts alot and I can't seem to let go of the love I have for him
Excellent 💕
Iv tried with my ‘so called best mate’ to be with him, we were always together and everyone always assumed we were together, but he was not open nor emotionally there for me. It made me angry and i could ‘trust’ him ......how can someone you love bring out the worst in you ? Had to tell him to leave me alone... im so heart broken but its the only way i can heal. Thanks fir the motivational speeches.... it really helps (only just heard of you through a friend) NZ....
My favourite speaker Jay genius l love his speech very much
Wao yaar so nice ❤️
Feel ur emotions, voice notes or write them
Learn from the situation
When someone shows u the true colors, dont repaint them! 💯
Real Expectations
Difference bw emotional age and physical age, same emotional age
Dependency
Create multiple rltnships
Invest in urself! 💯
16:00
I have been listening to several videos on healing a broken heart. What I think I have learned is to simply be alone and heal because there’s nothing you can do about the other person leaving the relationship. Focus on yourself and become a better version of yourself. It all sounds like good advice yet day to day application is difficult and no one really gives examples of what that looks like...some people naturally enjoy being alone. Are you saying that if I don’t naturally enjoy being alone and never learn that then I’m not healing?
Am so happy to have you and you always make me feel better Love your heart
I'm going to use these tips starting today! I just broke up with someone and I'm feeling every single emotion there is as well as being told I'm selfish..so square 1 it is..
I apologise first n for most cause time.... How r u doing today? Can't sleep and now I'm here.....listening reading thinking texting....etc.....
@@lrenteria84 Hey, I'm ok..just taking everything one day at a time literally. I'm trying to focus on self care and doing things that bring me peace like singing (in the car) journaling,etc. How are you?
Moving on is not easy esp if u love him too much.its too bad and feeling devastated until now all I want to do is listening the moving on advices ..it helps but can't help to cry when the memories hits up ..
Dr Steve can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restore back my broken relationship of 5 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Steve always keep up with his words I strongly Advise you to seek help from him
What sApp him
+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾
I'm on the process of healing bt because of Jay it been easy for me thank u soo much Jay
My ex came back to me few days ago ❤️ I got help from a Relationship Restorer Dr Steve Who was able to mend back my broken relationship and make my ex to come back and beg for a second chance. He can bring your ex back
Thank u soo much
Been healing from heartbreak
Same here
Same here
Same here, just getting started...
A month in tomorrow! Addictive toxic relationships are hard to get over. She moved on in a week with a new guy after 3 years. Just the week of she told me she loved me and this breakup was for us. I'm doing better now because I know deep down it needed to end! It felt like I was betrayed given the day we last spoke she had already set something up with a new guy and even wanted to go to the home! I've numbed and hormones are shot down. Feel dead but peacefully dead.
@@carlosauza1087 when i knew she cheated ,she had already been his home more than 10 times🙂,well i am really grateful to god that i am no longer with her ,she doesnt deserve my loyalty