Avoidant Attachment Style & The 5 Levels of Closeness
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
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In today's video, Thais Gibson explains the five levels of closeness and how you can assess whether someone is capable of achieving a level 5. Watch now to learn more about the five levels of closeness and how they impact your attachment style as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Healthy and Secure Relationships with/for the Emotionally Unavailable Person", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:23 - What Are the 5 Levels of Closeness
00:02:24 - Level 5: Closest Relationships
00:03:03 - Level 4: Close but Infrequent Interactions
00:03:59 - Level 3: Mutual Lack of Closeness
00:05:05 - Level 2: Acquaintances
00:05:18 - Level 1: No Contact
00:05:32 - Closeness and the Implications on Relationships
00:07:27 - Biggest Reasons People Suffer
00:09:13 - What You See With a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style
00:10:47 - Conclusion
00:11:08 - 90-Day Bootcamp Promo
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.
Our UA-cam videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #AvoidantAttachment #AvoidantAttachmentStyle #DismissiveAvoidant #DismissiveAvoidantAttachment #DismissiveAvoidantCourse #LevelsOfCloseness #5LevelsOfCloseness
I think I'm comfortable with different levels, either close, balanced, or even more distant is all right. But fluctuating from one end to the other puts one in a tangle.
Yes, same.
@@anzelaiv Flexibility.
Omg this explains my relationship issue perfectly, can you do a video on how to create more closeness please
Wow this makes so much sense now I actually know where I'm at and where they are at, lol. I've never heard this explained like this but I appreciate the mathematic approach to this with level numbers as an autistic individual.
Avoidants may engineer romantic pseudo-relationships in their lives that enable them go a long time without having to deal with the realities of real daily intimacy, conflict resolution, and the dangerous feelings of dependency this can incur. This pattern only entrenches their habits and prevents them from learning vital relationship skills. You feel you’re in a “relationship” but in real life, they are not physically present tending to you in times of sickness, attending events by your side, or even doing mundane chores next to you. The illusion of intimacy is created without real life
Avoidants start off wanting " "unearned closeness " quickly to get you attached and feeling vulnerable.. ( pseudo level 4). Its goes downhill in a heartbeat from there into the negatives leaving you confused and hurt....Leave it doesn't get better from there .
I wonder then, why anxious are trying to get unearned closeness? They are the ones pressing for it from day one, and taking the avoidant bate when it's there.
@@anzelaiv excuse me and what are the avoidants doing to earn it?
Hahahahha when anxious and avoidants fight in personal development comments come on you guys… just get it over with and date already ☺️
Not so sure .. about anything anymore if I'm honest, but I think either someone who would want that kind of closeness at first but then push it away, is either "FA" in the parlance of this corner of the internet, or .. well we just have to acknowledge part of anyone who's feeling insecure in a dynamic is that avoidance will come in, even for anxious appearing sorts .. whether it presents as pushing away or pulling in behaviors... Whether we're feeling trapped or people pleasing out of fear of loss, we're * avoiding * bringing our true selves to the dynamic by way of avoiding sharing our needs. So .. idk .. potato po-tah-to it's not so different from a certain angle. Idk just my thoughts lately.
Things are simple. In order for you not to become an anxious attacher, do not date the avoidant. Find a secure one...to be happy. If the avoidant becomes secure on his own...ok...proceed. If not...run
My experience is we went to level five very quickly then as my anxious severely fearful avoidant did the slow fade we went backwards to level one which is where we are now.
Its the illusion of being close almost, happened to me too because I was unintentionally distant until I was suddenly all in and that triggered them. You wont truly be there until they feel safe to consistently be outputting that effort without secretly bottling up their fears that makes them withdraw which really sucks.
My Ex DA and I were at level 5, now 0. He broke up almost 3 months ago since then I'm in nc...
A lot of insight here!
I consider this one of my FA flaws: I kinda only consider relationships good at level 5. And I'm not really capable fostering levels 2-3 unless those people appear in shared spaces, like in the same social media feed, at class, or in a chatroom. Out of sight, out of mind :( So I tend to have my 2 level 5, people from shared spaces, and all others drop to levels 2 and 1. I may think we are friends and all, but we haven't spoken for 5-10 years, and then I'll learn they have died.
He didn’t want responsibility and to make an effort in dating
Interesting, I didn't know about this. I'll have to do some more research on them.
You are so so so very informative where is all this life information in one place😊???
May I add 2levels to my own closeness scale.
6. Intimacy : closeness in emotional and being sexual sensual AND sharing your inner world is intimate what it feels like to be you in ways don't share with others. Spouse level.
7. Not only personal but
Your Private and secret self that no one knows Fully being
known. ❤❤❤
Question, if someone (DA ex) claims that they want to rebuild trust and the relationship with you, then tells you his socialising goals for the future are those : "I need to enjoy my life now and I intend to be more sociable with my friends and family. I'm working long hours so my responses will be scarce."
It doesn't add up right ? I told him that since the relationship is clearly not one of his priority atm based on what he said, he doesn't seem to have time or want to make time for a relationship, nor the willingness to invest into it. I don't understand why he even reached out in the first place. I think I reacted securely but I'm not sure ?
Great response
@@BeYouTFully Thank you !
As long as you keep setting and maintaining your own boundaries and relationship goals, it doesn't matter why he reached out. You know what you want, and he ain't it.
Same, wanting something but then deprioritizing and giving no reason except he got lazy
And work is busy 🙄
Is it ok to bring up attachment styles with your partner? I have been doing the work to get myself to a more secure place and I’ve noticed that my partner is more on the avoidant side. To the point when I asked him to read the book ‘attached’ he denied it having any relevance to him because he hasn’t really got much to work on in relationships… he said he’s done the work.. but he has little awareness of the fact that doing the work on relationships that deeply hurt you can lead to covering and protecting the wound rather than working through it… this also showed me that he wasn’t truly invested in my healing or didn’t care enough to understand it, although I didn’t take it too personally. I’m 70% sure he is dismissive avoidant but is it worth talking to him about it? Or should I continue to work on my own healing until he becomes curious?
So if a DA is willing to put in the work, they can have a functional relationship?
Is it possible to start at Level 0, then go back into negative numbers ?? lol
😂
😂😂😂. Yeah!!! Avoidants start at 0 and go backwards from there...
lol I relate 😅
😂😂😂
So true 😅🥴
❤️
😮💡🤔💗
It would be great if you offered AfterPay as a payment option 😢
1. Single
screw avoidants