One of the reasons that I have tuned into you for so long is your totally transparent way of just working through things. I think you tend to come up with really great perspectives because you do so much work thinking about the different sides of things. That's been a big part of my life too since I became a parent. I just wanted to thank you today for delivering the message about generational trauma in the way that you did. I think that so many older adults convince themselves that they were good parents and refused to look at the mistakes that they made. I think that hearing your perspective will help them get more comfortable with the truth and hopefully help to mend the relationships with their children in a truthful and genuine way. We really need more of that.
AA began with a Christain church base. It took a LOT for them to agree to the "higher power" approach or concept and, you are in Biblebelt USA. AA does allow for what i call different chapter "cultures" within the confines of the basic AA rules which is why i personally think it works so well for so many different folks.
What that guy did to you at the pizza place was assault. no one has the right to touch you like that. And the lady at the meeting sounds like she just wants to be in control of everyone and everything.
I think it’s partly because you’re in Mississippi and there are alot of xtians there. You’re extremely strong and I’m glad you’re looking for support. ❤
Thank you Darlene. I made many mistakes raising my children however I loved being a mom. Your talk got me to recognize my mistakes and own them. Maybe from this day forward I will choose my responses wisely. You have so much wisdom. 😍
I respect you so much for your constant honesty and sense of responsibility. Your voice about what happened to you and also speaking about what you did is amazing , it will hopefully help others .❤
I hope some day you can go back to that group. I think it would be good for you. I'm sure there are other people that have done that and left. I just really wish someone would have followed you out to make sure you were ok. I hope you abd Tony have a great week to spend together ❤
Darlene, this was so powerful and you are totally right about thinking about if someone hurt you would you be so forgiving. Hell no! I grew up in AA, sounds weird to say it but it’s true and I can totally relate to the situation that happened at the meeting last week. I can remember the Ala-teen meeting where I was told I could fire god as I knew him. So liberating and as an 11 year old I was able to start to find freedom from Catholicism and Christianity.
I have heard so many times over the years, “He had such an evil dad”. “He didn’t know how to be a loving dad, because of the way he was raised.” For years I believed that was a good enough reason. Thank you for saying your truth, it is also my truth. That bandaid was huge for my dad and he used it to the max. Drunk or sober we are responsible for our actions. Amazing how that stinking thinking follows so many down through generations. You are an amazing person and have come so far in your life, thank you for your honesty. 🌹
Some day maybe you can share this at a meeting it would be good for everyone busy body to hear what they consider helping actually does to a person working on healing
When you were saying that about driving drunk etc, i was just flooded with tears and emotion for my 33 year old son, who i did that too also. It wasnt the first time i had viisited what ii did and those feelings but it came up, obviously needed more healing and love around it. Thank you, the cry actually felt good🌼
Through the Grace of God All things are possible. For me I need God in my corner but others may feel differently and I agree they don’t need to ram it down other’s throat. We all have are relationship or NOT with God.
Interesting how we still search for the fault within ourselves. In my opinion it wasn’t a meltdown it was a reaction to someone trying to take control away from you. Maybe your reaction was strong but it was legit.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize it's really you! I've been around a longgggg time! lol Still going still growing, still glowing strong! Love to all!
Thank you for your honesty and bravery in sharing your life's journey. I have been following for several years, from when your mother was alive in Maine. I have seen you heal and grow and candidly share your path with us. I have never been an alcoholic, but I can relate to everything else in your story. I continue to struggle with my issues, but press on and find ways to cope and heal. I want to let you know how helpful your channel has been for me.
Cray AA lady has a power and control problem! How about a firm "back off" if she does it again - and then talk about it to the group when you're ready!
You might like this idea. I do this sometime. Going to the old group on Tues. You could make this deal with yourself. You will drive there and park stay in the car and decide then if you are going to go in. Either you do or you don’t. Might try it ?
I love and respect how you think, and work through things. Your mother continuously verbally abused you. That boy physically assaulted you by putting his finger in your ear. The woman at AA assaulted you by trying to force you into doing something you did not wish to do. I also believe that I deserve to congratulate myself when I do good, and I take full responsibility when I fuck up. Have a great week, Darlene.
Some people heal or work through issues by going through the actions or the motions first; then they adjust thier internal perspective. Other people adjust thier internal perspective first then do (or test) the actions or motions which accompany the changed perspective. It seems as if you are more of the latter group. It may not feel like it when you take that first or even subsequent steps outside your comfort zone. But by the time you step out, inside you have decided you will do so anyway.
I LED A SIMILAR LIFE AS YOU. I DRANK AND I FEEL I NEGLECTED AND HURT MY KIDS. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF. I KNOW I WAS A LOUSY MOM FOR AWHILE . I HAD A LOUSY MOM. SHE NEVER TAUGHT ME WHAT TO DO. SHE SURE AS HELL TAUGHT ME WHAT NOT TO DO . I ALWAYS TOLD MY KIDS I LOVED THEM .THAT WAS SOMETHING I NEVER HEARD FROM MY MOM. MY ONE SON HAS FORGIVEN ME BUT THE OTHER STILL RESENTS ME. I HAVE TRIED AND TRIED TO MAKE AMENDS BUT HE JUST HATES ME. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SO WHEN OR IF HE EVER DECIDES TO STOP HATING ME I WILL BE VERY GRATEFUL.
Since you have been going out as a single woman for a while would you do a tutorial and explain how you go about dancing without a male partner. Do you get stares or comments? How do you handle men who think you’re looking for a pick up? I’m an older single women who would just like to go out amongst other humans. I’m not adverse to meeting new friends men or women but I know it’s different from going out decades ago. Be our mentor. I’ve been following you for years and have been proud of your growth! Thanks for sharing.
I dance with other women. Very few men on the dance floor. We women own it, lol. And I've never had an issue with men thinking I'm there to be picked up.
I stopped drinking without AA. I’m Christian but wouldn’t ever claim that you need to be to stop drinking, in fact, i wasn’t even Christian when I quit.
Well the meeting you went to has an obligation to those who want to come to and perhaps become a member…this is what we expect …then you can decide either or ..for me it would help to avoid a bossy Betty like the one you encountered at your brow beating meeting ..stay strong..🇨🇦
Great one Darlene. You have helped me SO much over the years as we both come from a similar background. I love how you are so honest and are able to convey how such deep trauma can be explored to understand that it wasn't our fault. We were just kids who hungered to be accepted, loved and validated. It has brought me to live a life of deep honesty and transparency because my Mom was so perfect at being deceptive and to this day I hate everything about a liar. I chose honestly and glad you do too my friend. Keep on doing great videos, you'll never know how many you have helped.
That AA meeting woman appears to only let you do what you specifically do not like to do. I truly think she is in the wrong place. These meetings should be there to ease things for the participants, not add to their burden. I have a feeling she does the same to other members also. Looks like she enjoys her power trip, putting pressure on people, especially vulnerable people. Awful. - It would be awesome if you could “confront” her. Even if it is by just giving her a note with links to this video and the previous one.
One of the reasons that I have tuned into you for so long is your totally transparent way of just working through things. I think you tend to come up with really great perspectives because you do so much work thinking about the different sides of things. That's been a big part of my life too since I became a parent. I just wanted to thank you today for delivering the message about generational trauma in the way that you did. I think that so many older adults convince themselves that they were good parents and refused to look at the mistakes that they made. I think that hearing your perspective will help them get more comfortable with the truth and hopefully help to mend the relationships with their children in a truthful and genuine way. We really need more of that.
I personally think you handled it right. You explained to her that you didnt feel comfortable and she ignored your feelings.
AA began with a Christain church base. It took a LOT for them to agree to the "higher power" approach or concept and, you are in Biblebelt USA. AA does allow for what i call different chapter "cultures" within the confines of the basic AA rules which is why i personally think it works so well for so many different folks.
What that guy did to you at the pizza place was assault. no one has the right to touch you like that. And the lady at the meeting sounds like she just wants to be in control of everyone and everything.
I think it’s partly because you’re in Mississippi and there are alot of xtians there.
You’re extremely strong and I’m glad you’re looking for support. ❤
Thank you Darlene. I made many mistakes raising my children however I loved being a mom. Your talk got me to recognize my mistakes and own them. Maybe from this day forward I will choose my responses wisely. You have so much wisdom. 😍
I respect you so much for your constant honesty and sense of responsibility. Your voice about what happened to you and also speaking about what you did is amazing , it will hopefully help others .❤
Tell him we are wishing him a Happy Birthday 🎈
People are afraid of the truth and yes some of us are broken and doing the best we can.
I hope some day you can go back to that group. I think it would be good for you. I'm sure there are other people that have done that and left. I just really wish someone would have followed you out to make sure you were ok. I hope you abd Tony have a great week to spend together ❤
Darlene, this was so powerful and you are totally right about thinking about if someone hurt you would you be so forgiving. Hell no!
I grew up in AA, sounds weird to say it but it’s true and I can totally relate to the situation that happened at the meeting last week. I can remember the Ala-teen meeting where I was told I could fire god as I knew him. So liberating and as an 11 year old I was able to start to find freedom from Catholicism and Christianity.
I have heard so many times over the years, “He had such an evil dad”. “He didn’t know how to be a loving dad, because of the way he was raised.” For years I believed that was a good enough reason. Thank you for saying your truth, it is also my truth. That bandaid was huge for my dad and he used it to the max. Drunk or sober we are responsible for our actions. Amazing how that stinking thinking follows so many down through generations. You are an amazing person and have come so far in your life, thank you for your honesty. 🌹
Some day maybe you can share this at a meeting it would be good for everyone busy body to hear what they consider helping actually does to a person working on healing
When you were saying that about driving drunk etc, i was just flooded with tears and emotion for my 33 year old son, who i did that too also. It wasnt the first time i had viisited what ii did and those feelings but it came up, obviously needed more healing and love around it. Thank you, the cry actually felt good🌼
Wow. So deep, so wise. Thank you
Through the Grace of God All things are possible. For me I need God in my corner but others may feel differently and I agree they don’t need to ram it down other’s throat. We all have are relationship or NOT with God.
Thank you for the video, and yes, it's helpful. ❤
Darlene, great topics. I love your videos. Thanks
Interesting how we still search for the fault within ourselves. In my opinion it wasn’t a meltdown it was a reaction to someone trying to take control away from you. Maybe your reaction was strong but it was legit.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize it's really you! I've been around a longgggg time! lol Still going still growing, still glowing strong! Love to all!
Thank you for your honesty and bravery in sharing your life's journey. I have been following for several years, from when your mother was alive in Maine. I have seen you heal and grow and candidly share your path with us. I have never been an alcoholic, but I can relate to everything else in your story. I continue to struggle with my issues, but press on and find ways to cope and heal. I want to let you know how helpful your channel has been for me.
Cray AA lady has a power and control problem! How about a firm "back off" if she does it again - and then talk about it to the group when you're ready!
Happy Birthday, Tony🥳🎁🎉🎈🎊
Darlene what a great video!! Re watched it several times.
Good to see ya✌🏽
Darlene,I just Love your raw honesty❤
You are sitting boundaries, you don't have to apologize for doing it. I'm so glad to see it happening.
This one hit home. Thank you!!!
Easy to comfort a broken person 😮💔
I think forgiveness is overrated. I have started to take old forgiveness back because the people I forgave didn't value it or me. Fuck them.
The guy who put his finger in your ear…..that is an assault. You were within your right to clock him one.
You might like this idea. I do this sometime. Going to the old group on Tues. You could make this deal with yourself. You will drive there and park stay in the car and decide then if you are going to go in. Either you do or you don’t. Might try it ?
That's what I already do. That's how I got myself to go to my first meeting alone.
Happy Birthday Tony 🎉
I have a sister and sister in law with birthdays on July 14th! Happy birthday Tony!
I love and respect how you think, and work through things. Your mother continuously verbally abused you. That boy physically assaulted you by putting his finger in your ear. The woman at AA assaulted you by trying to force you into doing something you did not wish to do. I also believe that I deserve to congratulate myself when I do good, and I take full responsibility when I fuck up. Have a great week, Darlene.
Remember, forgive doesnt mean forget; to/ for yourself as well as for/ towards someone else.
Some people heal or work through issues by going through the actions or the motions first; then they adjust thier internal perspective. Other people adjust thier internal perspective first then do (or test) the actions or motions which accompany the changed perspective. It seems as if you are more of the latter group. It may not feel like it when you take that first or even subsequent steps outside your comfort zone. But by the time you step out, inside you have decided you will do so anyway.
Don't you wanna know if that poor young guy came back? Lol!
I LED A SIMILAR LIFE AS YOU. I DRANK AND I FEEL I NEGLECTED AND HURT MY KIDS. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF. I KNOW I WAS A LOUSY MOM FOR AWHILE . I HAD A LOUSY MOM. SHE NEVER TAUGHT ME WHAT TO DO. SHE SURE AS HELL TAUGHT ME WHAT NOT TO DO . I ALWAYS TOLD MY KIDS I LOVED THEM .THAT WAS SOMETHING I NEVER HEARD FROM MY MOM. MY ONE SON HAS FORGIVEN ME BUT THE OTHER STILL RESENTS ME. I HAVE TRIED AND TRIED TO MAKE AMENDS BUT HE JUST HATES ME. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SO WHEN OR IF HE EVER DECIDES TO STOP HATING ME I WILL BE VERY GRATEFUL.
You do help others
Happy birthday fellow July birthday friend. Mine is 31.
Since you have been going out as a single woman for a while would you do a tutorial and explain how you go about dancing without a male partner. Do you get stares or comments? How do you handle men who think you’re looking for a pick up? I’m an older single women who would just like to go out amongst other humans. I’m not adverse to meeting new friends men or women but I know it’s different from going out decades ago. Be our mentor. I’ve been following you for years and have been proud of your growth! Thanks for sharing.
I dance with other women. Very few men on the dance floor. We women own it, lol. And I've never had an issue with men thinking I'm there to be picked up.
I stopped drinking without AA. I’m Christian but wouldn’t ever claim that you need to be to stop drinking, in fact, i wasn’t even Christian when I quit.
Well the meeting you went to has an obligation to those who want to come to and perhaps become a member…this is what we expect …then you can decide either or ..for me it would help to avoid a bossy Betty like the one you encountered at your brow beating meeting ..stay strong..🇨🇦
When you were a larger woman did you dance?
I didn't go out.
RIP Pete...can u film a little of the tribute?? Sounds like a really cool way to honor him.
Don't think I'll record any of it. I want to be fully present there and not watch any of it through a camera or phone.
Great one Darlene. You have helped me SO much over the years as we both come from a similar background. I love how you are so honest and are able to convey how such deep trauma can be explored to understand that it wasn't our fault. We were just kids who hungered to be accepted, loved and validated. It has brought me to live a life of deep honesty and transparency because my Mom was so perfect at being deceptive and to this day I hate everything about a liar. I chose honestly and glad you do too my friend. Keep on doing great videos, you'll never know how many you have helped.
❤
That AA meeting woman appears to only let you do what you specifically do not like to do. I truly think she is in the wrong place. These meetings should be there to ease things for the participants, not add to their burden. I have a feeling she does the same to other members also. Looks like she enjoys her power trip, putting pressure on people, especially vulnerable people. Awful. - It would be awesome if you could “confront” her. Even if it is by just giving her a note with links to this video and the previous one.
The only person you have to believe in to get through any troubles in life is YOURSELF.
I wish I lived closer I would love to go clubbing with you!