Self Sabotage is very real. I've witnessed it myself. I got married at 35 divorced at 46. Inside I knew my wife was the complete opposite of me but I went with it anyway knowing I was living a separate life. My wife was such a controlling feminist she absolutely sucked my masculinity out of me. I was in the closet drinking booze 3-4 days a week while being a functional successful workaholic. Finally, once she found out she became very emotionally and physically disconnected. She treated me like a 13 year old and i couldn't handle it anymore. So, I became angry and battled her until we mutually agreed divorce was the best option. Self sabotage? yeah maybe. I believe many married men today are puppets doing whatever their wife wants but in reality we are always fighting ourselves in our minds on "finding a way to find our own peace".
Growning up a wierd, lonely and insecure kid. A valuable key my Mentor during my U.S Navy days told me once "Sailor, 200 years from now you would've been d3ad for 110 years. You could exist with your head down or you could make an effort to live beyond your flesh by doing and or creating something great." My confidence went steroid level ever since, I've launched 3 succesful businesses, traveled to 18 countries and increased my self esteem tenfold since then. Great content per usual John.
In my own life experience, if I wouldnt have had such an ultra-high sex drive, I would have found life to be much less complicated. There would have been no marriages, and a lot less heartache. As men, we are very sexually motivated to find a woman. But it gets us into all sorts of trouble. But it seems to be how we are wired. And I think most men fall into this trap, correct me if I am wrong. Im not saying this is the only reason that men seek a relationship, but I would say it would be in the top 3. Thanks for your insightful videos, John
I agree our major motivation is sex whether it's right or wrong it's immaterial. This can and does get us into all sorts of BS. How much crap do you put up with because you are thinking man as long as I get sex from her. Again I am not saying this is right or wrong it just is and can be psychological. For all men how many women have you meet where you were your trueself and could have a real conversation with them. For the most part just as people men find women very annoying with their BS. Perhaps they do with us too.
@johncornell3665 it's primary motivation for men sex built in firmware. When they also want relationship you start examining many more things like what am I dealing with here.
For men, sex is the number one reason we get married. We can’t help that we are wired that way. If we weren’t, there would be very few marriages. I know a few of you would disagree, but you know it’s true.
I can relate a lot to this, I was stuck with a narcissistic woman for 8 years of hell. I didn't realize I stayed so long because it seemed normal to me. Growing up in an alcoholic/addict family. This is the best channel I have found that I can relate to.
All truths and facts this man preaches. Experience is everything in life, also good advice. Never make the same mistakes others have already made FOR YOU!
I'm 32 and I subscribed because I have extreme respect for elderly men who give life advice and has the experience. I can only learn from older people, so thanks for doing these videos!
We all have few negative traits that prevent us from achieving greatness. For me it's not being able to hide my thoughts (I have no masks), too many dad jokes, and projecting my honesty, ethics and good will on others. This led me to laziness in vetting business partners, collaborators, friends and lovers which lead to huge mistakes that spiraled into the destruction of one of my careers. Identifying our weaknesses at an early age can be a huge multiplier for success. At 45 and more or less retired I feel I don't care anymore and don't want to change but if I was 25 years younger I'd do a lot of things differently.
12:43-13:38 were some of best words, the deepest words I think I've needed to hear. Thank you for this channel. Thank you for this advice. I'm single for the first time since I was 16 in my 30s now. No clue how to be alone and I'll never forget that moment of "this isn't the one" when I was probably around 24. The fear of loneliness had me power through and "work it out." Years later here I am, trying my best to recover. Afraid of being alone as i look to a new unplanned future. Its hard when you truly loved having someone by your side
I think that a man can do everything right and still end up divorced. When your partners dreams are different than your own all you can do is look on as a bystander and let it play out because you did not write the script. Solitude to me is a blessing, but I am an introvert and have the ability to live a rich life on my own. Stay hard boys.
I walked away from a woman I love very much recently because I sat down and I put everything honestly on the paper the pros and the cons and the cons were just too many too long to list and I decided to walk away was extremely painful but it was the best thing for her and for me and now it's 8 months and I have no regrets thinking long-term is painful making decisions long-term in painful but the pain of not doing those things and making bad decisions is worse especially for men
Guys don’t even know why they get married. Me included, “Well that’s just what you do next.” Societal narratives are closing and men are waking up thanks to content like John’s.💪💪
Great stuff once again. Thanks for sharing! For me the fear of being alone is very strong. Also from history where I was much alone. Just need to let her go now which has taken time for me to grasp. Actually felt more alone at times lying next to her as a roommate.
I think you’ve highlighted an interesting tension: being too self-conscious can make it harder to genuinely love someone else. True love often requires self-sacrifice, not excessive self-consciousness.
During my separation I did a life mapping exercise and it was helpful. The idea is that you do research on multiple generations in your family, mapping out the emotional impact that various family members have had on you. Getting all of that laid out and how emotional baggage can get passed along over many generations was eye opening. For myself, my great grandmother was just a miserable person, long lived and made life hell on an emotional level across many generations. Add in my grandfather having PTSD from WW2 to add more baggage to my mom, and then my mom... Who tried very hard to minimize my own baggage, still couldn't keep it all off me. Then there is my father's side... But, you get the point. Seeing those patterns get laid out in front of you, and seeing how there are clear emotional causes and effects on the trajectories we take in life, is really important for you to then make your own choices.
Excellent monologue. Touched on so many areas worth addressing in reflecting what you've learned through the first half of your life. Know thyself is the ageless mantra for a reason, a good reason. Cheers! " If you can, stay single". Solitude is a teacher when one has ears to listen.
When you want the relationship too badly, you will choose your mate poorly. Like John pointed out, the love hunger that often exists in modern men will drive us to chase love, even if it is tainted and not in our best interest to pursue. The trick, as John indicated here, is to be ok with being alone. Be stoic. Cultivate indifference towards the outcome. Live in the moment. Be discerning, and carefully select your mate. Be slow to hire, and quick to fire. According to Phil Stutz, we all have a malevolent entity within us, which they call Part X. This part of us is the literal devil on your shoulder, encouraging us to sabotage ourselves, telling us were undeserving of true happiness, telling us we are alienated from others and God. It is our task then, to cultivate our connection with the Divine, to acknowledge our own value, so that the self sabotaging messages from Part X are drowned out by the light emanating from your heart and being. Prayer is particularly effective in this endeavor. Listen to your heart, ask God for guidance, and your true Path will be revealed, so that you may serve God in all your masculine virtue. Peace!
John, that was a very inspiring talk, and I also believe it applies to most of us. I know it certainly applies to me! It just seems to be a harsh reality that takes years, even decades, to grasp. But, we learn, and we move on!
I wish I had seen this video about two years ago. I had to learn this on my own. Still not fully actualized but getting there but I have the knowledge and the plan/path to get there. Thank you John. You honesty is amazing.
Appreciate your sharing some of personal relationship story. Can relate to impact of having your emotional rug being pulled out from under. I also ran into trouble with women who weren't a good match intellectually or emotionally. Was perfectly happy as a solo young boy/young man. Then was love bombed and sucked into a physical and emotional relationship at a young age. Enjoyed the sxx. She had terrific body. Then was totally blindsided and dropped. Was young, so had trouble accepting and adjusting. But, did walk away and deal with it. It helped to have other wmn to move on with. Still was a severe shock. No warning. No relationship problems. That experience stayed with me. Years later, in my marriage, I committed myself, but again, that wmn wasn't fully there. Think she used me/our relationship as a social crutch. She didn't like being alone. After a few yrs, we divorced. There was another betrayal. I've lived single ever since. Have had relationships, but kept them at arm's length emotionally. Good episode. Thanks. 🤔🤔🤔
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to. Start saving, keep saving, and stick to investments. Everyone should have BTC in their portfolio
It’s really heartbreaking to see how inflation and recession impact low-income families. The cost of living keeps rising, and many struggle just to meet basic needs, let alone save or invest. It’s a reminder of the importance of finding ways to create financial opportunities. You've helped me a lot sir Robert! Imagine i invested $50,000 and received $190,500 after 14 days
Some persons think inves'tin is all about buying stocks; I think going into the stock market without a good experience is a big risk, that's why I'm lucky to have seen someone like mr Robert Williams Owen.
OMG... I admire your honesty and depth of understanding. Keep up the great work. Talk about introspection and Street savvy. Your overviews so are refreshing. Your conclusions have the potential to prepare all people for a happier life by touching on what’s influencing the human experience and why. It’s like listening to my own thoughts and understandings from a third-party Right on the mark of what is going on for us all?
It really is critical that as parents, you show your children as much love and affection as they need. This is why we go seeking for it in places where love can’t be found.
Hi John. Yet another excellent contribution! Have you noticed that older men, in a pub, will tell epic, funny stories about their failures in life? These amusing anecdotes make younger men chuckle,and learn..women tend to talk about their latest success and the inappropriate behaviour of others that are not part of the " in group "...I know which stories I prefer!😅
Another great video. John keep sharing these stories. Só many of us can relate and most importantly you can warn young guys to protect themelselves from common pitfalls.
As an artist via being a finished carpenter, I'd say your x couldn't stay at a "prefect" job, in your opinion is due to her having an artist's mind and soul. You say she was a performer...a free spirit. I tried to go against my nature and got a job at the New York Stock Exchange and Grey Advertising in New York city and couldn't wait to run from being in an office. Now 44 years later, being a finished carpenter, furniture builder, and cabinet builder I look back and realize that in all that time I never felt like it was work. Don't be so hard on her, she was a butterfly in a glass jar. By the way, I really enjoy your wisdom and I'm glad I ran across your channel. I don't think I've ever disagreed with you except this time.
Well, John, you have been there and seen it all. Beautiful woman, children, mistresses and great job-opportunities. But after that a chance to grow as a independent man and to share with us. Thanks for your support.
The first break up is the worst. Once I was run over by 2 horses 🐎 that were fighting and the second one stepped on my chest and it didn't hurt my heart as my first break up.
This is the most self-revealing video in the last several months. I think that walking away from your first girlfriend was wrong, although it seemed right. If you miss the right person, there is no other person who is going to be right. Still, I believe that she had a good life, since it was not her decision. One Croatian singer, Boris Novković, has a song about the same experience: It was a long time ago. And I still remember The sweet warmth of her lips We talked about everything for a long time that night Forgot that it was late And that I had to start Boris, she said Take my hand And lead me Feel this touch of misery too If you leave now It was a long time ago I didn't realize That she was something Rare, special Roads and cities were waiting for me I didn't know that I would Look for her in everything Boris, she said Tomorrow will be late and far Beside you there will be someone else And no one like me You will know someday That love True love only happens once She was summer; everything else is winter Boris, she said You have no idea what all this means You will never find me again And that's the truth
John, exactly my story re affection / relationships. Your ability to really " nail - it" is off the chart lately. ( Did you ever study a marketing genius guy named Dan Kennedy?). You would eat it up. Timeless info. Enjoy.
Very interesting listening to this, from the heart, in depth talk about your journey with women John. For me it was sort of the opposite. I really loved the idea of having a GF as a teenager onwards, however something was holding me back. Yes, I got lonely for sure but what I'd witnessed as a very observant child; That is, the friction and tension between men and women in relationships - made me fearful of partaking in relationships, getting married raising a family and so on. Romances have been far and few between and short lived. Although the solitary life has been a hard road, it is the only one that works for me.... Thanks for sharing your story with such honestly John. Regards, Sean.
Our biggest "internal enemy" is our failing to see any interest larger than ourselves. Some people never develop this ability, and it sounds like your ex-wife was one of them. It is a part of human nature we have to work hard at to overcome. When we're in a marriage for a long time we can take it for granted and not give consideration to our partner's wants and interests. We need to remind ourselves every day to work on that, if we want the marriage to endure. It has to be an effort by both partners, not just one. Your stories of what you experience are poignant because they are true for many.
I can relate to seeing the beginning and end at the same time. My unhelpful counsellor said, “if not, you can always divorce”. What terrible advice, lol.
Wow what a way to put the loneliness I feel. It’s fabricated bc of my distant mom when I was growing up and I’ve definitely made bad relationship decisions in the past that I see now.
This is me to a T haha. I had my first real love in high school we were perfect and I broke up with her because I thought she liked another guy and I couldn’t deal with the abandonment if she left so I did. It destroyed both of us. So now, I like never leave. Rough
Behind every great man is a great woman.. I'm calling B.S. Can anyone give me a realistic example of how this still applies today? Times have changed..
I'm still trying to think of a man who is still married and achieved that greatness during his marriage. Even John, he is achieving greatness now by helping men, based on conveying life's perils of being married to the wrong woman. And perhaps, by even getting married at all. I know that I certainly did not choose wisely concerning the woman that I married. If John could only have been there before I married. But then again, would I have been wise enough to listen? Somehow, I think that I would have made the same mistake, as I ignored the red flags that were present, just like I ignored my own intuition. I displayed the pinnacle of stupidity on that one. If only there was really a working DeLorean with that flux capacitor and all of the other stuff needed that I could have access to use now. The things that I could tell myself; even if it was simply to tell myself, "Do not talk to that one. She is trouble with a capital T, and you will regret it for years to come."
@john-griffin im having a rough go at it this past year. She's made things so difficult. Don't have anyone to talk to about it. My parents tell me to think if my marriage and that I need jesus.
Another good vid JG. Anything on soul ties? Once your with a woman, they say your connected for life to that or those woman. Can the past really be put behind you. Let go of? Intimacy with a girl is spiritual too. So some say. Thanks.
My ex-wife is like a daughter to me. I do what I can to take care of her. But I do not want to have a mature relationship with her. I do what I can to keep her at arms length without abandoning her completely.
‘A breakup between teenagers causes a wound to the self. That is one reason why adolescents are often devastated by these partings’ Nancy Kalish ‘Lost & Found Lovers’ p96 (teenager defined by psychologists as ending around age 22 brain development wise)
If I may ask this question , do you now wish that you reunited with your x if she wants to comeback and admit all her shortcomings or truly you still prefer to be alone ?
She has asked to come back and she has admitted that she was wrong. But quite honestly, I am happier now than I’ve been since we were married. So the idea of going back down that path with her is not appealing at all.
Very ins😂ightful. Unresolved archetypal issues from family of origin. A real life mandatory psych class that we all have The shadow self, mask and persona that we all must face, if we are to fully evolve.
John’s Ex Wife scares me! Stories you hear about wives like her are all to uncommon. Sad. John is such a great guy. Horrible what his monster wife did to him!
i think your 1st wife hated her jobs because she didn't feel the need to work given your high income and home ownership. she was unhappy because she couldn't get 100% of what she wanted even though you provided a good lifestyle. many women, especially the hot/beautiful ones, have unrealistic expectations because they think they're special.
No, but it intersects with the W and O.D which is a railroad. This trail was built along this stream because it is a flood zone and no one can build anything here. There are three springs nearby that feed the stream all year long. It runs directly into the Potomac river
Why hello there again John…… Would it not be great if carrying around the extra baggage we have as adults actually gave our muscles more resistance too? I agree with you about overcoming loneliness before you are capable of having a great relationship with another person…… If you’re lonely, then every potential partner you meet will stick to you if you actually want them or not. …… And when you’re stuck it’s quite difficult to carry on…… So much of what we become is set in stone in our early years. Peeps that had nurturing parents and Good childhood without trauma go on and attract The same in their friends and Partners…… On the other hand, the peeps who came from A Bad child situation will seek the same…… The sad truth is that if you come from the latter group of people it is quite difficult to change even if you know what is wrong…… A persons personality is similar in that it is quite consistent throughout a persons life…… I suppose if the truth is the change does not come easily or at all, then the only alternative is to lose your fear of loneliness…… sorry, I dictated this and lots of mistakes in grammar and syntax
IMHO, I think you and your wife were at similar levels, but she had a chronic, crippling mental condition. (the not tolerating that easy job was a symptom). The same thing happened to my wife. Pretty, slim figure, nice personality, but she was a PTSD childhood sexual abuse survivor that destroyed our marriage after the children were born. Her own psychiatrist explained that to me privately when she asked to see me.
This guy is the Tom Brady of self-help for men. Im 43, and just figuring out alot! Thank you Sir from Kentucky.
Self Sabotage is very real. I've witnessed it myself. I got married at 35 divorced at 46. Inside I knew my wife was the complete opposite of me but I went with it anyway knowing I was living a separate life. My wife was such a controlling feminist she absolutely sucked my masculinity out of me. I was in the closet drinking booze 3-4 days a week while being a functional successful workaholic. Finally, once she found out she became very emotionally and physically disconnected. She treated me like a 13 year old and i couldn't handle it anymore. So, I became angry and battled her until we mutually agreed divorce was the best option. Self sabotage? yeah maybe. I believe many married men today are puppets doing whatever their wife wants but in reality we are always fighting ourselves in our minds on "finding a way to find our own peace".
My current gf is the exact same way and I see it coming. Plotting my escape route before it's too late.
Run Forest!!@@billthebutcher6873
@@billthebutcher6873 good call! At least you won't suffer 10 years in marriage and a nasty divorce.
Do some exercise bro to refresh yourself from the toxic relation with your ex!!
I get your feeling 28 years fighting it. The last three made me decide it’s time to go for gusto filed for divorce.
Conquering loneliness is man's biggest struggle and yielding to it his biggest mistake.
Great insight!
So true
Growning up a wierd, lonely and insecure kid. A valuable key my Mentor during my U.S Navy days told me once "Sailor, 200 years from now you would've been d3ad for 110 years. You could exist with your head down or you could make an effort to live beyond your flesh by doing and or creating something great." My confidence went steroid level ever since, I've launched 3 succesful businesses, traveled to 18 countries and increased my self esteem tenfold since then. Great content per usual John.
Sounds like you had a great mentor! Everybody needs someone like that in their life. Congratulations on a great life lived.
In my own life experience, if I wouldnt have had such an ultra-high sex drive, I would have found life to be much less complicated. There would have been no marriages, and a lot less heartache. As men, we are very sexually motivated to find a woman. But it gets us into all sorts of trouble. But it seems to be how we are wired. And I think most men fall into this trap, correct me if I am wrong. Im not saying this is the only reason that men seek a relationship, but I would say it would be in the top 3. Thanks for your insightful videos, John
I agree our major motivation is sex whether it's right or wrong it's immaterial. This can and does get us into all sorts of BS. How much crap do you put up with because you are thinking man as long as I get sex from her. Again I am not saying this is right or wrong it just is and can be psychological. For all men how many women have you meet where you were your trueself and could have a real conversation with them. For the most part just as people men find women very annoying with their BS. Perhaps they do with us too.
All its correct.
@johncornell3665 it's primary motivation for men sex built in firmware. When they also want relationship you start examining many more things like what am I dealing with here.
Thanks
For men, sex is the number one reason we get married. We can’t help that we are wired that way. If we weren’t, there would be very few marriages. I know a few of you would disagree, but you know it’s true.
I can't even fathom how much honesty you need to put it into words, get aware of those things, but also share it with us. It inspires :)
Thanks
Takes guts to talk to frankly about yourself and your life...pleasure to listen to!
I can relate a lot to this, I was stuck with a narcissistic woman for 8 years of hell. I didn't realize I stayed so long because it seemed normal to me. Growing up in an alcoholic/addict family. This is the best channel I have found that I can relate to.
Thanks
All truths and facts this man preaches. Experience is everything in life, also good advice. Never make the same mistakes others have already made FOR YOU!
I'm 32 and I subscribed because I have extreme respect for elderly men who give life advice and has the experience. I can only learn from older people, so thanks for doing these videos!
Sometimes the best one gets away.
We all have few negative traits that prevent us from achieving greatness. For me it's not being able to hide my thoughts (I have no masks), too many dad jokes, and projecting my honesty, ethics and good will on others. This led me to laziness in vetting business partners, collaborators, friends and lovers which lead to huge mistakes that spiraled into the destruction of one of my careers. Identifying our weaknesses at an early age can be a huge multiplier for success. At 45 and more or less retired I feel I don't care anymore and don't want to change but if I was 25 years younger I'd do a lot of things differently.
12:43-13:38 were some of best words, the deepest words I think I've needed to hear. Thank you for this channel. Thank you for this advice. I'm single for the first time since I was 16 in my 30s now. No clue how to be alone and I'll never forget that moment of "this isn't the one" when I was probably around 24. The fear of loneliness had me power through and "work it out." Years later here I am, trying my best to recover. Afraid of being alone as i look to a new unplanned future. Its hard when you truly loved having someone by your side
I appreciate your honesty, unlike other UA-cam creators who are suckering broken men purely for profit.
Your humility and introspection is at superpower levels here John
Well said!
Thanks
I think that a man can do everything right and still end up divorced. When your partners dreams are different than your own all you can do is look on as a bystander and let it play out because you did not write the script. Solitude to me is a blessing, but I am an introvert and have the ability to live a rich life on my own. Stay hard boys.
It’s tough when the other person is already checked out.
I walked away from a woman I love very much recently because I sat down and I put everything honestly on the paper the pros and the cons and the cons were just too many too long to list and I decided to walk away was extremely painful but it was the best thing for her and for me and now it's 8 months and I have no regrets thinking long-term is painful making decisions long-term in painful but the pain of not doing those things and making bad decisions is worse especially for men
Guys don’t even know why they get married. Me included, “Well that’s just what you do next.” Societal narratives are closing and men are waking up thanks to content like John’s.💪💪
So true. We do not fully think out all the reasons why we marry.
It's because we grew up with learning how to conform and be conventional.
Great stuff once again. Thanks for sharing! For me the fear of being alone is very strong. Also from history where I was much alone. Just need to let her go now which has taken time for me to grasp. Actually felt more alone at times lying next to her as a roommate.
Thanks for sharing!
I think you’ve highlighted an interesting tension: being too self-conscious can make it harder to genuinely love someone else. True love often requires self-sacrifice, not excessive self-consciousness.
Seems right, then what is the rational for love. Look at those words: 'Self sacrifice' it is not objetively normal, not healthy.
@, John says that love is a giving thing, which sounds right. It’s also another way of expressing what I was trying to say earlier.
That’s an excellent point!
During my separation I did a life mapping exercise and it was helpful. The idea is that you do research on multiple generations in your family, mapping out the emotional impact that various family members have had on you.
Getting all of that laid out and how emotional baggage can get passed along over many generations was eye opening. For myself, my great grandmother was just a miserable person, long lived and made life hell on an emotional level across many generations. Add in my grandfather having PTSD from WW2 to add more baggage to my mom, and then my mom... Who tried very hard to minimize my own baggage, still couldn't keep it all off me. Then there is my father's side...
But, you get the point. Seeing those patterns get laid out in front of you, and seeing how there are clear emotional causes and effects on the trajectories we take in life, is really important for you to then make your own choices.
Excellent monologue. Touched on so many areas worth addressing in reflecting what you've learned through the first half of your life. Know thyself is the ageless mantra for a reason, a good reason. Cheers! " If you can, stay single". Solitude is a teacher when one has ears to listen.
When you want the relationship too badly, you will choose your mate poorly. Like John pointed out, the love hunger that often exists in modern men will drive us to chase love, even if it is tainted and not in our best interest to pursue.
The trick, as John indicated here, is to be ok with being alone. Be stoic. Cultivate indifference towards the outcome. Live in the moment. Be discerning, and carefully select your mate. Be slow to hire, and quick to fire.
According to Phil Stutz, we all have a malevolent entity within us, which they call Part X. This part of us is the literal devil on your shoulder, encouraging us to sabotage ourselves, telling us were undeserving of true happiness, telling us we are alienated from others and God. It is our task then, to cultivate our connection with the Divine, to acknowledge our own value, so that the self sabotaging messages from Part X are drowned out by the light emanating from your heart and being. Prayer is particularly effective in this endeavor. Listen to your heart, ask God for guidance, and your true Path will be revealed, so that you may serve God in all your masculine virtue. Peace!
Excellent. Thanks for sharing
Thanks!
Thank You!
This is real. I have done this myself.
John, that was a very inspiring talk, and I also believe it applies to most of us.
I know it certainly applies to me!
It just seems to be a harsh reality that takes years, even decades, to grasp. But, we learn, and we move on!
I wish I had seen this video about two years ago. I had to learn this on my own. Still not fully actualized but getting there but I have the knowledge and the plan/path to get there. Thank you John. You honesty is amazing.
Appreciate your sharing some of personal relationship story. Can relate to impact of having your emotional rug being pulled out from under. I also ran into trouble with women who weren't a good match intellectually or emotionally.
Was perfectly happy as a solo young boy/young man. Then was love bombed and sucked into a physical and emotional relationship at a young age. Enjoyed the sxx. She had terrific body. Then was totally blindsided and dropped. Was young, so had trouble accepting and adjusting. But, did walk away and deal with it. It helped to have other wmn to move on with. Still was a severe shock. No warning. No relationship problems. That experience stayed with me.
Years later, in my marriage, I committed myself, but again, that wmn wasn't fully there. Think she used me/our relationship as a social crutch. She didn't like being alone. After a few yrs, we divorced. There was another betrayal.
I've lived single ever since. Have had relationships, but kept them at arm's length emotionally. Good episode. Thanks. 🤔🤔🤔
Thanks
Good one, John! Sometimes loneliness can
makes us blind.
Excellent video John, much appreciated. Love your awesome channel bro ❤
Thanks!
Thank you for sharing
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to. Start saving, keep saving, and stick to investments. Everyone should have BTC in their portfolio
It’s really heartbreaking to see how inflation and recession impact low-income families. The cost of living keeps rising, and many struggle just to meet basic needs, let alone save or invest. It’s a reminder of the importance of finding ways to create financial opportunities. You've helped me a lot sir Robert! Imagine i invested $50,000 and received $190,500 after 14 days
Absolutely! Profits are possible, especially now, but complex transactions should be handled by experienced market professionals.
Some persons think inves'tin is all about buying stocks; I think going into the stock market without a good experience is a big risk, that's why I'm lucky to have seen someone like mr Robert Williams Owen.
Finding yourself a good broker is as same as finding a good wife, which you go less stress, you get just enough with so much little effort at things
Robert demonstrates an excellent understanding of market trends, making well informed decisions that leads to consistent profit
Absolutely amazing how similar our marriage and subsequent divorce are. Thank you for this video John…
It’s the same story for so many men.
@ 💯
I think some of us are just destined to suffer most if not all of our lives.
“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is voluntary” ~ Dalai Lama
@@oscarm.1417 "..unless you marry the wrong person" - Me.
OMG... I admire your honesty and depth of understanding. Keep up the great work.
Talk about introspection and Street savvy.
Your overviews so are refreshing. Your conclusions have the potential to prepare all people for a happier life by touching on what’s influencing the human experience and why.
It’s like listening to my own thoughts and understandings from a third-party
Right on the mark of what is going on for us all?
It really is critical that as parents, you show your children as much love and affection as they need. This is why we go seeking for it in places where love can’t be found.
Hi John. Yet another excellent contribution! Have you noticed that older men, in a pub, will tell epic, funny stories about their failures in life? These amusing anecdotes make younger men chuckle,and learn..women tend to talk about their latest success and the inappropriate behaviour of others that are not part of the " in group "...I know which stories I prefer!😅
That’s so true
Spot on once again sir! Great insight. Been there and done that.
Another great video. John keep sharing these stories. Só many of us can relate and most importantly you can warn young guys to protect themelselves from common pitfalls.
As an artist via being a finished carpenter, I'd say your x couldn't stay at a "prefect" job, in your opinion is due to her having an artist's mind and soul.
You say she was a performer...a free spirit.
I tried to go against my nature and got a job at the New York Stock Exchange and Grey Advertising in New York city and couldn't wait to run from being in an office.
Now 44 years later, being a finished carpenter, furniture builder, and cabinet builder I look back and realize that in all that time I never felt like it was work.
Don't be so hard on her, she was a butterfly in a glass jar.
By the way, I really enjoy your wisdom and I'm glad I ran across your channel.
I don't think I've ever disagreed with you except this time.
Meet John Griffin, the Giga Chad!
😉🙂
John, you are awesome man. We got your back!
Thanks for the support!
Thanks a mill for all your videos,,,,
I'm glad you find them helpful.
Great chat as always!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Geez what are ya watching me through a keyhole? This one feels personal😂
Thank you.
John it's a roller-coaster
It sure is
I know you’ve touched on it a few times already, but please do an entire in depth video on the difficulties of children and their effects on marriage.
Well, John, you have been there and seen it all. Beautiful woman, children, mistresses and great job-opportunities. But after that a chance to grow as a independent man and to share with us. Thanks for your support.
Thanks
The first break up is the worst. Once I was run over by 2 horses 🐎 that were fighting and the second one stepped on my chest and it didn't hurt my heart as my first break up.
I can relate
John, your smile is infectious, no wonder you had all these women . As usual excellent content and unique delivery.
Thanks! I’m not sure what they see, but I’ll always be grateful!
Truly appreciate your message, John. God bless.
Thank you for watching!
This is the most self-revealing video in the last several months. I think that walking away from your first girlfriend was wrong, although it seemed right. If you miss the right person, there is no other person who is going to be right. Still, I believe that she had a good life, since it was not her decision. One Croatian singer, Boris Novković, has a song about the same experience:
It was a long time ago.
And I still remember
The sweet warmth of her lips
We talked about everything for a long time that night
Forgot that it was late
And that I had to start
Boris, she said
Take my hand
And lead me
Feel this touch of misery too
If you leave now
It was a long time ago
I didn't realize
That she was something
Rare, special
Roads and cities were waiting for me
I didn't know that I would
Look for her in everything
Boris, she said
Tomorrow will be late and far
Beside you there will be someone else
And no one like me
You will know someday
That love
True love only happens once
She was summer; everything else is winter
Boris, she said
You have no idea what all this means
You will never find me again
And that's the truth
This is so helpful!! Thank you!! ❤❤
I'm glad it resonated with you!
This was a powerful video I felt this deep in my soul..thanks for sharing I feel similar in many ways
It’s the same story for so many of us.
You’re all right, John
Thanks
Man that hits home hard like looking in the mirror. I ended it with my ex back a decade I regret ending it.
I thought I had one good friend that alleviated my aloneness, but then he told me he was imaginary……
Joe Imagination?
That’s hilarious
Wisdom and truth.
humor is the savior
Good one, John
Thanks
John, exactly my story re affection / relationships. Your ability to really " nail - it" is off the chart lately. ( Did you ever study a marketing genius guy named Dan Kennedy?). You would eat it up. Timeless info. Enjoy.
Thanks
I see J.G video I click. I simple
This was very helpful thanks
Glad it helped
@john-griffin 🇦🇺
Very interesting listening to this, from the heart, in depth talk about your journey with women John. For me it was sort of the opposite. I really loved the idea of having a GF as a teenager onwards, however something was holding me back. Yes, I got lonely for sure but what I'd witnessed as a very observant child; That is, the friction and tension between men and women in relationships - made me fearful of partaking in relationships, getting married raising a family and so on. Romances have been far and few between and short lived. Although the solitary life has been a hard road, it is the only one that works for me.... Thanks for sharing your story with such honestly John. Regards, Sean.
I can definitely relate to what you’re saying. Thanks
Alternate vid title: 'John breaks down his Giga-Chad era.' 😂
Nice advice
Our biggest "internal enemy" is our failing to see any interest larger than ourselves. Some people never develop this ability, and it sounds like your ex-wife was one of them. It is a part of human nature we have to work hard at to overcome. When we're in a marriage for a long time we can take it for granted and not give consideration to our partner's wants and interests. We need to remind ourselves every day to work on that, if we want the marriage to endure. It has to be an effort by both partners, not just one. Your stories of what you experience are poignant because they are true for many.
Thanks
I like you video 👍
I can relate to seeing the beginning and end at the same time. My unhelpful counsellor said, “if not, you can always divorce”. What terrible advice, lol.
That is some really bad advice.
Wow what a way to put the loneliness I feel. It’s fabricated bc of my distant mom when I was growing up and I’ve definitely made bad relationship decisions in the past that I see now.
This is me to a T haha. I had my first real love in high school we were perfect and I broke up with her because I thought she liked another guy and I couldn’t deal with the abandonment if she left so I did. It destroyed both of us. So now, I like never leave. Rough
Behind every great man is a great woman.. I'm calling B.S.
Can anyone give me a realistic example of how this still applies today?
Times have changed..
I'm still trying to think of a man who is still married and achieved that greatness during his marriage. Even John, he is achieving greatness now by helping men, based on conveying life's perils of being married to the wrong woman. And perhaps, by even getting married at all.
I know that I certainly did not choose wisely concerning the woman that I married. If John could only have been there before I married. But then again, would I have been wise enough to listen? Somehow, I think that I would have made the same mistake, as I ignored the red flags that were present, just like I ignored my own intuition. I displayed the pinnacle of stupidity on that one.
If only there was really a working DeLorean with that flux capacitor and all of the other stuff needed that I could have access to use now. The things that I could tell myself; even if it was simply to tell myself, "Do not talk to that one. She is trouble with a capital T, and you will regret it for years to come."
Great question
Always listen to your gut.
Always.
You can't argue with that.
Yeah that song was lit 🔥. Can’t remember the band name
I really need to set up a one on one session with you. Your spot on in all your videos and my wife has alot of similarities with your ex wife
It sounds like you’re really struggling.
@john-griffin im having a rough go at it this past year. She's made things so difficult. Don't have anyone to talk to about it. My parents tell me to think if my marriage and that I need jesus.
I Went tr exactly same dificulta ❤
Another good vid JG. Anything on soul ties? Once your with a woman, they say your connected for life to that or those woman. Can the past really be put behind you. Let go of? Intimacy with a girl is spiritual too. So some say. Thanks.
Soul ties, twin flames. Bullshit!
--Mr. Locario
My ex-wife is like a daughter to me. I do what I can to take care of her. But I do not want to have a mature relationship with her. I do what I can to keep her at arms length without abandoning her completely.
You listen to Lit too!? Awesome!
‘A breakup between teenagers causes a wound to the self. That is one reason why adolescents are often devastated by these partings’ Nancy Kalish ‘Lost & Found Lovers’ p96 (teenager defined by psychologists as ending around age 22 brain development wise)
If I may ask this question , do you now wish that you reunited with your x if she wants to comeback and admit all her shortcomings or truly you still prefer to be alone ?
He mentioned no way ever
She has asked to come back and she has admitted that she was wrong. But quite honestly, I am happier now than I’ve been since we were married. So the idea of going back down that path with her is not appealing at all.
That is solid , thank you for sharing your experience, I am really benefiting a lot from your videos and hope to achieve your wisdom and stoic state
I went through the same thing. But my life involves Witch Craft. And I have been suffering ever since.
"sinking feeling" that your marriage was not going to last.... could be a self-fulling prophecy.
... or a premonition.
Very ins😂ightful. Unresolved archetypal issues from family of origin. A real life mandatory psych class that we all have The shadow self, mask and persona that we all must face, if we are to fully evolve.
Gentleman, read passages from Marcus Aurelius re stoicism it will transform your mind set. Absolutely brilliant..stay well brothers. 👍
When you meet someone you just know how it will end my sister is married to someone cracks started to appear but I saw it from day 1.
👋😀✌️ That’s how we live and learn. 🦉🏡🐈⬛
True
“I’m not going to find anyone hotter than this.” - OMG. 😂
So why do we self sabotage exactly?
Insecurity
@@john-griffin -- Also, we grew up, were taught how to conform and be conventional.
The needy never get fed.
John’s Ex Wife scares me! Stories you hear about wives like her are all to uncommon. Sad. John is such a great guy. Horrible what his monster wife did to him!
i think your 1st wife hated her jobs because she didn't feel the need to work given your high income and home ownership. she was unhappy because she couldn't get 100% of what she wanted even though you provided a good lifestyle. many women, especially the hot/beautiful ones, have unrealistic expectations because they think they're special.
Yes
Is that trail an old railroad ?
No, but it intersects with the W and O.D which is a railroad. This trail was built along this stream because it is a flood zone and no one can build anything here. There are three springs nearby that feed the stream all year long. It runs directly into the Potomac river
@john-griffin
Nice!
Why hello there again John…… Would it not be great if carrying around the extra baggage we have as adults actually gave our muscles more resistance too?
I agree with you about overcoming loneliness before you are capable of having a great relationship with another person…… If you’re lonely, then every potential partner you meet will stick to you if you actually want them or not. …… And when you’re stuck it’s quite difficult to carry on……
So much of what we become is set in stone in our early years. Peeps that had nurturing parents and Good childhood without trauma go on and attract The same in their friends and Partners…… On the other hand, the peeps who came from A Bad child situation will seek the same…… The sad truth is that if you come from the latter group of people it is quite difficult to change even if you know what is wrong…… A persons personality is similar in that it is quite consistent throughout a persons life…… I suppose if the truth is the change does not come easily or at all, then the only alternative is to lose your fear of loneliness…… sorry, I dictated this and lots of mistakes in grammar and syntax
No worries! I appreciate your input
The old 'fear of being alone'.
59. Bachelor all my life. Can't relate.
IMHO, I think you and your wife were at similar levels, but she had a chronic, crippling mental condition. (the not tolerating that easy job was a symptom).
The same thing happened to my wife. Pretty, slim figure, nice personality, but she was a PTSD childhood sexual abuse survivor that destroyed our marriage after the children were born.
Her own psychiatrist explained that to me privately when she asked to see me.
Your X wife dropped the winning pass in the End Zone in the Super Bowl
Thanks
In a nutshell...."raging hormones are not your friend" .
After hearing you talk your saying marriage was never for you.
A Learn So Much Wisdom In Your Video's,
Thank You 🙏🙏
Thanks
Classic example of complicate life and justify why