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Hey, I know you said that musical/athletic performances are not good topics for my college essay, but I was thinking about writing how much music has impacted my life because it has been with me my entire life and has changed my world
Hope you are still checking comments! My idea is to write about my background and experiences. I grew up in Georgia, a predominantly white country, as a black man. I was the only black person in my school and neighborhood. I want to share what that was like and also talk about my experience immigrating to the United States about a year ago. I'm still figuring out how to structure my narrative, so any input would be greatly appreciated.
Hey Lorenzo! I'd get more specific with the particular experiences/interactions you had with folks in Georgia vs. America. A 3-scene montage structure might work particularly well for you! Check out this video: ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
Hi ElevatED! Hope youre still reading comments. I had this idea for my common app essay, writing it in a storyish narrative way, about how I learned to sew when i was 8 (so ten years ago). Explaining the journey of it, how it started from me making small and really rough plushies to, over the years, learning different techniques and working hard in order to use it as a way to give back to others. I started donating some of my stuffed animals to children in foster care, but I also made and gifted some to family members and friends on special occasions. It helped me stay connected to an artistic side of myself but taught me patience and perseverance, which I learned how to use while studying for stem subjects (which is what im interesting in studying) Thank you! sewing (artistic hobby) + perseverance + positive
I love it! The best part is donating stuffed animals to others -- I'd make this the focus of your essay! This definitely showcases a ton of selflessness infused with creative expression!
@@elevatedschool Thank you so much! I hope to be able to book an appointment or essay review with you guys soon, but I have to see about the pricing and talk to my parents first :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you -- this is the one video that actually helped me come up with good ideas and outlines for my essays. Before this, I knew what was a good essay, I just didn't know how to write it, and I was stuck on one generic idea without any improvement. Now, I have a lot of ideas! Love this video and recommended your channel to my classmates!!
Hi, I hope you are still reading the comments. In my common app essay I want to write about how I grew up in restrictive Indian household where girls were seen as burden and boys were more prioritised and how I wasn't allowed to go anywhere but I fought for my rights and freedom and it shaped me to the person I am today. I'm still figuring out if this is a good topic and how can I present it perfectly.
Thats some absolute realness queen, I'm considering writing something similar but tbh the "resolution" part for me personally is still a work in progress and hasn't really happened yet so I don't know. But you got this!
Hey, first off want to say thanks for the video, I found it to be very helpful! My common app essay idea for identity/interest/talent is to talk about my lego collection. My thought is to talk about how building legos for over a decade has helped grow my curiosity for how things work . Along with this I am thinking on including how that has shaped myself to think about tasks in a very simple step by step approach which has led to greater focus and helped me thrive academically.
I like it! I'm just wondering if you can also add in a dimension where you start talking about how your legos have helped others? I worry that this essay will sound too much like "caleb in a cave" -- we want to see how you interact with and help others too!
Hope you are still checking comments, but I just wanted to know if this would be too cliche too write about. At a restaurant I simply held a door open for this lady with a walker and she said in the most soul crushing tone, "Thank you, that's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me in a while." So my general idea is to just simply talk about kindness in small interactions. I feel like that might be too cliche though but I'd appreciate your thoughts! Also thanks I love your videos they are genuinely so helpful and make me feel a little more confident when working on my application.
I hope you're still reading comments! I'm having trouble finding what's best to write about as the topics I have are kind of boring. My first Idea was to write about how my passion for JROTC made me realize my love for music again and how I got into band as a current member now. But the only problem is I'm not in ROTC anymore, so I don't know whether to include it. My second idea was to just write about my JROTC experience and how I won a national championship my freshman year, but yet again I am not in ROTC, so I don't know whether to write about it anymore.
Hmm I think your first story would work better! Focus more on how you joined the band community, and how you've also made it a great experience for others (goal is to show leadership and selflessness, not just personal growth)!
I keep seeing not to do sports, but I'm really passionate about it so I was hoping someone could respond and tell me if I should or not. For context: I was a gymnast from when I was 12-16, I climbed through the ranks with hard work and dedication, even through I only started out in a summer class. I ended up working at the gym for a couple years as well. I was homeschooled, so it wasn't actually a school thing. Thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot! (I just have a little trouble picking the topic 😅)
Hello! This video was really helpful as I’m just starting to write my essays, so thank you for making it! I’m planning to write about how my dad has been the source of my curiosity and how seeing him do different hobbies has motivated me and make me not afraid to try new things. My dad has worked as a corn vendor, baker, and pizza maker to earn extra money for our expenses. I would go with him to LA to buy materials, and he taught me how to make esquites (corn in a cup), bake cakes, decorate with frosting and fondant, and make pepperoni bites and pizza dough. I would go and sell with him by accompanying him at the stand he set up at a butcher shop near our house. Would this be a good essay to write or a good topic to write about?
I like this topic a lot! It sounds like a classic 'relationship essay' -- this is the same formula Jeff and I both used to get into Yale! I'd recommend taking a look at this video for more details:
Hello ElevatEd! As always your video rocked! I am writing my essay about how from the very beginning of my life I had "tonsillitis", suffered from its excruciating symptoms all of my childhood. But then life took a turn, I started to vocalise to make my vocal cords work properly and soon I started to get recognition for having THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VOICE in my entire school. And how (upon my mom's advice) i got into the field of "VOICE OVER". And now, after countless hours of practice and putting massive amount of time to my vocal practices, I am a professional Voice over Actor. Although working for 2+ years, how I am overly shy to let my family members to listen to my recordings. Related to this, how I inspired my younger cousins to do VOs, after they listened my audios. And how I overcame my shyness, and this summer recorded 100+ VOs for an international company. Does this sound like a good essay? *It will be a huge favor if you review this essay idea*
thanks for such a worth it 6.5 minutes! My essay idea is about a once adventurous, unpredictable mad scientist going on a spontaneous bus trip from LA to NY to escape and rediscover themself, learning to handle guilt and responsibility, and it was written using all the advice you've given us on the channel! It would mean so much to me if you'd be interested in seeing how all your Common App essay tips have culminated in my story!
I want to make a sort of montage of 4-5 important moments in my life. Starting with a hook of how I hold onto special moments in my life. And then Describing each one putting the reader in my shoes, what I am surrounded by, how I feel. I end with how I hold these moments dear to my heart, they are who I am and who I want to be. The main theme is balance and how all of these moments come together to create a balance for me - I can’t enjoy one without the others. I end with a small story of journaling before bed, documenting the importance and individuality of each day. Important moments + balance + appreciation Not sure if this is a good idea? Any feedback is helpful!
Yes, that can totally work! If you're serious about writing a montage essay, I highly recommend checking out this video where I analyze a successful essay that used that approach! ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
Although you’ll understand in a better way if you read because I feel I tried to make my personality shine through even though this was a serious essay
@@gobelfury hmm trauma can be a pretty dangerous theme, and perseverance/initiative are pretty classic ones (which is good! you'll need those!) But you should also try to add in a more unique/spicy theme like I mention in the video!
I've got some only partly formed ideas and was wondering if you could give some brief thoughts if you're still looking at comments!: My first would start with some anecdotal recounts of my experience at an aerospace competition, the setbacks and multiple near all nighters that were needed to even try to make a comeback. I hope to show my perseverance and how its fueled by passion for the work Something like: Messy workspace garage @4am + perseverance + passion second is similar, begin with anecdote and expand. Object would be our dining table which is held up by spare chopsticks instead of pegs. I'd want to connect this out to similar themes of perseverance and resourcefulness. Chopstick dining table + perseverance + resourcefulness these ideas are still very basic but any light feedback would be awesome!
The second one has a bit more potential in my opinion! Perseverance and passion are rather cliche, but perseverance and resourcefulness is more unique!
This video really helped me ELEVATE my common app essay draft, thank you so much. My essay is about me comparing myself with batman due to my introverted persona and a struggle to express emotions. The essay explores overcoming childhood trauma caused by family quarrels, fostering family unity through taking initiative and stepping in to solve these fights while at the same time managing academics, and evolving from an introverted "Batman" to a more open and supportive individual. Themes: resilience, emotional growth, and communication. *eagerly waiting for the essay reviews*
This could definitely work!! I'd focus more on how you overcame the situation and grew though (make sure over 50% is about that) and not about the trauma, quarrels, etc.!
Hi! My idea is about 3 different experiences in my life where I have lost and then using the same quotation to show that someone expected better of me, so something like experience "quotation" different experience "same quotation" different experience "same quotation" and basically use that quotation to show that in different aspects of my life, I have performed poorly, and everyone expected me to perform better. Then, the conclusion will basically be that I always blamed everyone for my losses and stress for putting such high expectations on me, but then I realised that those quotations were said by me, not by others. Essentially, trying to show that I realised it was my own expectations upon myself that made me so stressed, so with that realisation I learned to lower my expectations to a healthy amount. I'm really stressed about the essay so your feedback would be greatly appreciated!
I like the idea but I probably wouldn't use the quote 3x since it eats up a lot of words-- the word count and space could better be used to elaborate more on your own experiences, solutions and insights!
Hello! No clue if you’re still checking the comments, but if you are, thanks for this video and all the ones before! I’ve been binge watching these videos since I discovered your channel and they’ve been super helpful in giving me ideas for my application and essays. For my personal essay, I was thinking about using decorations/a tour around my room to showcase different aspects of myself (ex. My National Parks postcards from the places I’ve visited + how travel and learning is important and inspired a sense of wonder in me, my band posters/medals that belong to the activity that showed me what leading by serving others looks like, my bookcase + the books that captured my imagination and sparked intellectual curiosity). The idea is I would kind of show my passions and values through the stuff I choose to display in my room, and tie it together with a kind of “there’s still space left over” as like hopes and aspirations for the future. Do you think this would be a good way to write my essay, or do you think it would jump around too much? And would the ending of talking about my hopes for the future be too cliche or should I talk more about how I’ve grown rather than how I hope to continue to grow in the future? Once again thanks so much even if you don’t end up responding, I really appreciate all the videos and the advice!
Hello! Hope you are still checking comments. I'm thinking of writing my essay about telling jokes. It's something that is uniquely me! I was going to tell it as a story of my life, with a focus on my best friend's diagnosis with cancer. I would tell about how I supported him and joked with him to help get him through his time in the hospital. I would then talk about how humor brings connections. Thoughts? Telling jokes + selflessness + connection
I like it! I wonder if you can write about 2-3 different situations where your jokes helped a friend, family member, etc. (as opposed to just one incident)
Hi! I finished a couple of drafts for the prompt about a special talent/background/interest. I basically tried to take a quirky angle at it and talked about overcoming insomnia by challenging myself more throughout the day and how that’s led me to basically fall asleep within a couple minutes of hitting the bed. I’m considering restarting from scratch because my advisor said it makes me sound lazy and that I’m selling myself short by making it the focus of my essay
It's an interesting topic! But typically for medical issues, we recommend students write about that in the Additional Information section as opposed for their main Common App/Personal Statement
Hope you are still checking comments .I am a rising junior and I wanted to start early on my essay my idea is to tell a story of my first time learning to climb a tree when I was 12 it took a month to be able to climb a tree I want this to convey a theme of rising up to a challenge and being patience and being able to prove myself
Wow as a student who already went thru the college admission process, I really wish I found this channel earlier. And yes, make sure to start your college essays to as early as possible so that you have ample time to make multiple drafts. since if you don't give yourself enough time to write a good essay it decreases your chances of admission. Applying too late can get you capped or rejected. very insightful video!
Hello, I hope you're still responding to comments although im a bit late. I plan to write about how my headphones, which broke every three months despite me repeatedly making temporary fixes, symbolize my struggle with depression while living with homophobic parents. Just as I struggled to permanently fix my headphones, I was also avoiding the root causes of my emotional pain, including contemplating suicide as a permanent solution to what felt like unsolvable problems. Eventually, I opened up my headphones, discovered the issue, and permanently fixed it. This experience taught me that addressing problems at their core, rather than relying on quick fixes, is important. Applying this lesson to my own life, I reached out for help, confronted my internalized homophobia, and accepted myself, which led to overcoming my depression. This experience just made me start tackling challenges by addressing their root causes whether it is academically or something related to my community. I wanna show that this is the mindset I bring to a college. Is this a generic essay topic or is there something I should specifically focus on when writing this?
that sounds great!! I guess just make sure that it's really your own (which you'd have to do with any other topic, too) - like, could someone else put their name on it and submit it as theirs? If no, well done :)
The idea I have right now is: perserverence/iniative + self reliance/integrity + origami. I actually saw another origami in the comments but I am apporaching this from a different angle. Origami as a art is unique because it is neither additive nor subtractive but transformatative. Any piece of paper, anywhere in the world at any period of time needs only itself to be folded into something amazing (self reliance) while additionally, the paper can only be folded into something amazing if it retains its structural integrity (tearing or literally "cutting corners" off the paper will prevent the final model from looking good) and shape integrity (most origami models are made specifically from square pieces of paper). Origami is also one of my earilest hobbies, which I also self learnt, and a beautiful intersection between technical logic and artistic expression which emphasized my particular fascination with technology and creative expression. It inspired my love of building and also reflects my resourcefulness (origami can be fold from any piece of paper from reciept paper to exclusive washi paper after all) and self reliant journey. What do you guys think?
This is incredibly compelling! You have some really fascinating themes already, like self-reliance, the idea of cutting corners and maintaining shape integrity! Now talk about how that extends to other areas of your life too! Excellent! Even two students who write about origami can have totally different takeaways and stories. Both me and one of my best friends at Yale wrote about working at our parents' Chinese restaurants, but she chose a more entrepreneurial angle, while I focused on humility :D
@@elevatedschool I'm glad! I finished writing my first draft of this topic yesterday, but I noticed a problem I wanted to ask about. The structure I am using is talking about the different properties of origami and paper and then referencing my own achievements or failures etc. In my opinion, this structure doesn't flow like a story but acts more like a call and response structure and so the essay doesn't flow. What is a different approach I can take in terms of structure?
I hope you are still looking at comments! I’m thinking about making my personal statement about my obsession with slime at an older age + creative expression + “childishness” but I want to flip the idea of people calling me childish on its head to signify that I don’t need to conform to societal expectation of what growing up is like. I will talk about how I kept my nativity and how it’s inspired me to look for work as a video game designer so I’ll always be “childish” but in a good way? I’m going to elaborate on how I started my school’s art club and how I created a club for future educators of America to tutor and mentor child to keep myself juvenile yet embed the same passion I have for creative expression. My secret message would probably be how I’m just like slime im resilient to outside forces and able to reform and regain my shape no matter how much pressure I face. I hope this makes sense lol
I like the idea of flipping naivete and childish to mean something good - perhaps you can argue that one must maintain a childlike curiosity and naivete towards the world to remain hopeful! It's an interesting premise!
My biggest idea is to write about a medical condition that I have. Yes, I know, you said not to, but one of the topics is writing about a past challenge and what you learned from it, and I don't want to pass that up. I have a sort of list of what I want to talk about * Deaf in my right ear * Does not affect me nearly as much anymore, however, it did affect my schooling in the past * Learned sign language * List a bunch of challenges that I faced * How I overcame the challenges * Where I am today * What I learned from these challenges
I've definitely heard that story before, so I'd try to infuse it with another theme. Or get hyper-specific: how do you communicate? what topics did you read in your book collection? were they all sci-fi, or a variety of genres?
Hi! I'm writing mine like an instruction manual (assembly process). It goes through what makes me.. me! The issue is that it doesn't specifically focus on one aspect of myself, rather how all of the aspects don't fit together properly (like colorism I faced living in a small town, the lack of female representation in my STEM classes, etc). The final key is to realize that the seemingly mismatched pieces actually form a beautiful mosaic. The challenges and doubts are not flaws but essential elements of a unique and resilient character. I am constantly evolving with the new experiences that come along with it.The goal of the essay was to show my realization that life won't always be a clear, straight path but winding road of exploration and discovery. I'm just worried this might be too simple or even too 'much' because it doesn't just talk about one specific instance in my life. Another idea I had was writing about the times I would run through the woods in my backyard as a child and meet all these new creatures and how that made me the curious person I am. I feel like that would also be stereotypical... What do you think?
Hmm right now resilience, curiosity and the realization that "life is a winding road" are pretty standard, cliche themes - I'd recommend adding in another "spicy" or "unique" theme too like I mention in the video!
my essay is about the transition between Bengali study mode and English study mode in my classes 11 and 12, also I want to showcase that my mind always wants to truly adapt to new things and always seek different endings. as I am a state board student in West Bengal India, all my studies were in Bengali and I am the 1st person in the school's history to do so. I want to know how to start my essay. And all other things in my essay
Hi! Really appreciate all the help you give to us seniors and others applying for schools. I have a question about an idea I had for my essay- I want to write it about how every year of high school, I got cut from our tennis team, but how I still practice every day to get ready to try out the next year. I've met so many people in all the public parks and different courts I have played on, and grown close with people I never would have otherwise, and its really positively impacted me personally. Even though sometimes people I know make fun of me for getting rejected, I went from not being able to cope with failure to realizing that I can learn from it, even if I fail again the next time. I would be a completely different person if I hadn't started playing. However, I'm worried I might come off as too whiny, especially because tennis is usually considered a rich person sport, and I know not making the team isn't a serious problem (especially compared to problems many others have)- and I'm also worried I'll be portraying myself as weak compared to the other kids. Do you think this is a good idea for my essay, or is there a reason I should avoid talking about this topic? Should I talk about something more creative and different?
*me peacefully thinking about commenting that i have 8 days until two of my deadlines, one of which is my dream school and i haven't started my essay* him: i have heard HORROR STORIES i wouldn't wish that upon my WORST ENEMY me: fuck
Hi. I hope you see this! I was thinking about writing how a visit I once made to a local Children's home shifted my perspective and how It made me interested in psychology and how the brain works
Hi Kevin! Great video! I hope you still check comments. My idea for the common app essay was: electronic blackboard + creativity + witty carefulness. I want to describe how the electronic keyboard I managed to get for my classroom became a tool to enhance all students’ learning, namely thanks to my creative ways to get the most out of it (like drawing on it a Greek theatre for our classics lessons or using a NERF handgun to turn it on without having each time stand up and click on it). This also sounds like “witty carefulness” to me. What do you think? Thanks for your feedback and help! I’ll certainly look for you essay review service this fall!
Thank you so much! You’re so helpful! As an international student, it would have been impossible to get so many incredibly high-quality pieces of information without you! Thanks for your work!
Hey, I've been thinking about writing my essay about cooking, specifically talking about how I developed this through my weight loss jounrey. I initially thought about starting it with a conflict of my weight, but at the same time I don't want my weight part to be the bulk of the essay; rather I'd want it to be a supplement to how I enjoy cooking and learned to make healthier and lower calorie meals to sustain my new life. My question is that would this be a little too cliche, or too focused on the weight part itself?? If the weight part became too much into play, I also wanted to talk about my disdain yet love for oil/butter as it accounts for much of the nutritional value of daily meals and how even though it tastes really good, it is my enemy when it comes to cooking because of how many calories it holds. I'd really appreciate your input and thanks!
Hmm if I’m being honest it’s a little bit of a cliche topic, but could work if you add in more intellectual curiosity and selflessness. How did your understanding of food science and biology for instance help your nutrition journey? How did you teach and share these lessons with others?
Hey, I hope you are still reading comments. I plan to write about being the youngest child of Nigerian immigrants and the pressure to live up to my family's expectations, especially since both of my older siblings went to UPenn. I will describe my first experience taking the subway to my new school, transitioning from a small Christian school in Long Island to a prestigious Manhattan school my brother attended. I'll use my initial struggle navigating the subway as a metaphor for my family's expectations. Over time, this challenge sparked my curiosity about the world and helped me find my sense of individuality and purpose. I was thinking about my sense of purpose by talking about becoming a leader in the BM@L (Black Male Alliance) society and how learning about other black people's experiences helped me to also grow as a person. Also, I talked about my life stories in the meetings to show my way of self-expression. Equation as well: Family Expectation + Memory of the Subway Ride + Memory's symbolism of self-realization and curiosity of the world= Finding my sense of purpose/self-expression
Hello, hopefully you're still checking comments! I'm planning to do my essay about my arangetram(it's basically a indian traditional dance debut/graduation performance where I perform 9-10 different types of dances after almost 12 yrs of training. My idea is to do my Tagore Hall (the hall where my arangetram was) + Creative Expression + Adventure. For my secret theme of adventure, I was thinking of comparing how each dance I perform consecutively is like exploring chapters in a book that altogether represent the culmination of my personal dance journey. Also for creative expression, I was thinking ofwriting about how I can I'm not surincoroprative my own style and creativity into each piece, adding to my secret theme. I'm not sure if the idea is too broad because it is about 9-10 dances but I was thinking about only highlighting a few, including the beginning and ending and overall expressing how my arangetram allowed for personal exploration and storytelling. What do you think?
This has really been SO helpful. I've kind of modified the whiteboard brainstorming you did, by making it more like a mind map! The idea I'm mainly settled on is my hobby of creating writing scripts and calligraphy and how the process has made me learn the scripts and languages of my culture. A main theme would be how the hobby has made me develop a sense of curiosity about the way culture impacts something as mundane as the characters and alphabets we use to write. Been trying to think of the topic as a motif essay by using the countless amounts of stray papers of calligraphy and writing I have... I'm unsure if the idea is too broad or boring. How could I go about brainstorming a more unique secret theme? If you're still replying, any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated!
Hi, My common app essay is about is about a school function I organized. i included the hours I spent finding sponsorships and collecting money by organizing fundraises. Also I want to write about the problems that came up during the event and how I managed to solve them. Will this work?
Thank you very much for your help and support I hope you are reading comments because I hope to qualify for a free essay review. i just started a draft about my love for silence to the point where i was able to find a hidden entrance to my school library once.
Is this a good recipe? 3D Printing My friends head (and giving to him on his birthday) + Creative expression + passion Hook idea: I handed my friend his birthday present. When he opened it his face was in shock as he stared holding onto his own head made out of plastic.
Hi Kevin, thank you for the video! Very informative -- I happened to stumble upon it into my 4th draft. Are you still reading comments? My current idea is an essay that focuses on my journey overcoming previous fear of failure developed from being compared frequently as a child. I want to tie it to a blog I made earlier, named Ctrl Z after undo, and present the keyboard shortcut as a specific motif along with the blog, to show how I gradually overcame my fear of making mistakes with help of the blog and other learning experiences like in my code (in which I rectify my past mistakes and become used to them with Ctrl Z). (Blog, Ctrl Z keybind + Perseverance + Fearless), if that helps any. I want to try to not come as too heavy and focus on the personal growth, but I'm 100% sure how to frame it, or if I've provided enough motivation for that in the introduction. Thanks for your potential consideration!
Hope I can get some insight. That formula made me realize that I might just write my essay about the rubik's cube, it's a hobby that I started several years ago and I could relate it many things about myself. I just don't know really how to start the essay, should it be with a description of the puzzle to then expand on how it impacted me?
Hello, I lived through a protest/massacre and want to showcase that and my background from that country, but I am wondering if I should also talk about the research I have been doing with an MIT professor. Do I have to pick? Do I blend both in? Do I talk about my future goals? I'm just getting slightly confused. Thank you!
Hi, I hope you are still checking comments. My idea was to write about the gifts I make for my friends and family (I have been making cards for practically every occasion since I was little, and more recently, I have made many really intricate crafted shoebox gifts for my friends). I wanted to then transition into the nonprofit I started inspired by my gifts, where I work with a local charity organization and I use donations to make art supply gift boxes for underprivileged kids in my community. I hope to theme my essay around growth and selflessness. Let me know what you think I can improve on!
hey Kevin, going through this process especially as a student with limited knowledge and resources is very hard and scary. but whenever I visit your yt channel, that smile on your face is so comforting yet motivating at the same time. It's like talking with an older brother you never had met before. thank you so much. I am about to start writing my essay and I have an idea of putting down the hardships i faced since childhood and how I overcame them, however the thing thats confusing me is how will i connect different times of hardships I faced because there have been many, spread over the course of my life. can you please suggest something?
Glad to hear you find the content helpful! Regarding the hardships you faced -- it really depends... do you mind elaborating further? Typically, colleges don't like hear about your problems, but if you've really dealt with some extenuating circumstances, then it could be good to write about them.
My college essay topic is about me helping my mom make lunch and realize that once I go to college moments like this will become rare. The event also made me realize that I haven't spent enough time with my mom as I should have and have instead spent most of my time locked up in my room doing other stuff. This reflection made me decide to spend more time with my parents and ask them how their day was instead of just rushing into my room. Would this essay topic be good for conveying my realization that it won't be long before common activities with my parents that I used to take for granted will become memories I wish I could recollect? Thank you!
Hmm the takeaway that "I should spend more time with parents" is a bit weak and obvious right now -- let's upgrade it by flipping into something more along the lines of: "I shouldn't just spend more time with my parents, but also I should __ and __ and __..."
@@elevatedschool Thank you for your suggestion! I was thinking about writing about how a started to perceive and acknowledge small moments of my life like me and my brother making faces when we had to eat veggies for dinner. Moments like those that I took for granted but realize that in the distant future, I won't be able to repeat. I will try to stay away from: "Spend more time with family!"
Hi Kevin! I love your videos, they are incredibly informative and I’m binging all of them haha. Could you take a look at my brainstorming dilemma? I was a rhythmic gymnast for 12 years, 11 years individual and final year in group (team of 5 girls competing together). In this last year, I realized halfway through that group wasn’t for me and I lost my love for the sport. I wanted to quit, but I had to stay for the good of the group. This conflict lasted for most of the season where it ended with us winning nationals and a wave of relief for me. Themes would be resilience, selfishness… and could probably be the essay on its own. But I also want to talk about the year after where, as a “retired” athlete, I was now trying to find out who I was. For the first time I could actually fully focus on school and my grades which were always A+/A in the hardest classes. So I did, but I got the worst grades I’d ever received. I’d also auditioned for the forensics team, but didn’t make it. I didn’t know what was happening and if I was losing it. I went to the forensics director asking for another chance, and he gave me one. I worked my way into the team by proving my commitment through my actions. Speech and debate was intellectual heaven. I wrote a speech about academic burnout- essentially the story of my life- and was able to share that with others. Through forensics I was put in situations that forced me to face my greatest weaknesses and contemplate who I was. Now I can describe myself in a whole new way. I want to include everything and tie it together with how I shifted from defining myself with achievements to defining myself with traits and worldviews with themes of perseverance and curiosity but I am afraid I am covering too much. What would you recommend I focus on or do? I am lucky enough to have the resources for your essay feedback, which I plan on using once I write my draft
Thanks for your question Celine! I'd really focus on getting to the part where speech + debate became your haven ASAP! I'd try to get to this point in either paragraph 2 or 3 -- then start talking about how you actually made this club a haven for others too! Some of the rhythmic gymnast context can even be moved to the "Additional Information" section of your common app actually.
Hey! I hopw you're still reading the comments! I am about to start my senior year in high school, and I'm considering writing my common app essay about my experiences in the marching band. I want to talk about being the only person of color in my section, how being in the band helped me to break out of my "shy, quiet girl" persona, and how it changed my perspective on music. Do you think this is a good topic, or do you have any suggestions for changes?
I like the topic a lot! Though it might work a little bit better for a supplemental essay since it seems to be largely about an extracurricular activity
I had an idea to write about how gift- giving is a huge part of my life and personality, but don’t know how i can relate it to different aspects of myself. do you have any tips?
Im currently writing about how a senior leader in a semi-sports activity taught me to be confident and optimistic. Considering switching it to be about playing the game geoguessr, with traits of problem solving and curiosity about the world. Thoughts anyone?
Geoguessing is definitely much more unique than a sports activity -- I'd just combine with a more interesting theme in addition to problem solving and curiosity (perhaps the concept/idea of 'space' or 'proximity' for instance!
Hi! I wanted your opinion on using my MBTI to guide my essay by sharing stories to demonstrate the qualities that make up my MBTI which includes the classic themes of curiosity/selflessness. For an additional special theme, I was thinking of self-reflection by acknowledging my over-idealistic/empathetic self and using that as a point for growth/balance. Thanks!
MBTI is a good way to begin figuring out themes + how best to articulate your story! But I'd try to offer more concrete and specific examples of you applying something like intuition, judgment, good vs. bad perception, etc.!
hey ,really love your content its helps me lot . my idea is about writing how i was looking for freedom and independent life as i belong from a place where girls aren't allowed to live a life of their own .and how i find those little freedom and how i make the best out of it ,hope you will reply
my essay is about how i used to fold origami and that while i was good at folding origami, i couldn't rlly shape the folds that made up my identity and slowly i saw the meaningless activities i used to do transform into bigger activities like origami that make up who i am today.
I like it! What key themes are you trying to showcase? I think transformation is a good start, but perhaps you can add in 1-2 more, like 'dimensions' or the beauty of geometry
@@elevatedschool i'm mostly trying to show growth and passion!! there's so many words that i could use like "design" or "layers" that i'm still trying to incorporate :')
Hope your still reading comments So my college essay idea is about how I’ve always moved schools and how it made me view life differently teaching me to embrace the changes that come with life instead of fearing them. While also including into the essay how moving so much I had to experience losing bonds that I cherished but finding beauty in being able to make new bonds and experience else where even if it isn’t ideal. Is that a good topic for my first essay like could I have a chance at getting accepted writing about something and also I was thinking of putting the topic as the unknown because I see constantly shifting environments as going into the unknown because it’s different.
This could definitely work! I think that writing about 3 different environments modeled after this montage structure could be particularly effective and powerful for you! Check out this video: ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
I know you said sports injuries arent a good topic to write about, but what about if that injury stopped me from playing sports altogether? The normal sports injury essays write about the setback they had, and how they recovered and ultimately came back. I played sports for 13 years, and had to quit. I still havent put together my themes, but it would go along the lines of how I embraced the change, moved forward, and found a new identity . Should I just use a different topic, or would it be okay to write about? If so, then any advice would also be appreciated.
Examples of classical themes include: vulnerability, selflessness, perseverance, initiative, curiosity and creativity -- for more about that, check out this video! ua-cam.com/video/mQTj3ZJAl1c/v-deo.html
Hi! i’m having trouble with my hidden theme i wanted to do a funny story on how i broke my two front teeth during a bike race the big theme being perseverance but im not sure how to put into words a hidden theme. this might be hard to give feedback since you don’t know me but i thought id try 😅
Hopefully you’re still reading comments. I plan on writing my essay to mainly focus on how some events in my life inspired me to ambitious and embrace opportunities to grow despite a disadvantaged background, and also to highlight my tendency to be practical and take a hands-on approach to things.
Hi! I really hope you are still checking these comments :) So basically, I’m not going to disclose my name, but that’s what this essay is all about. I grew up in a small town where people were found few and far between (and diversity for that matter) but cows were ubiquitous.As 1 of 2 brown kids at my elementary school (the other was my brother), I faced a lot of prejudice. I was constantly asked if I was sunburnt, if my parents worked at the local gas station, etc. In an effort to try to belong, I changed the only thing within my control: what other people called me. I actually got my nickname (Devi) from Davy Crockett, which makes sense because I lived in Tennessee! My essay idea was kind of the idea that ‘I am Devi. My name is (insert my name here). The idea behind this is that, even now, I feel a disconnect from my actual name and I can’t reconcile these two statements to say I AM (birth name). I was going to execute this by splitting the essay into ‘Devi’ and (my birthname) to emphasize them as two different people but then ending it off with a sort of shaky reconciliation to show that I’m still getting used to this whole other side of me and the fact that, in my own way, I finally belong? My name + vulnerability/creativity + inner being/belonging Also, should i add this aspect somehow instead of just focusing on my name? Kindergarten was the fateful year I joined our school's Gifted and Talented science program, which consisted of me and six other boys. I spent my entire childhood believing that STEM, like many other aspects of life in Tennessee, wasn't a place where I belonged. Even after moving, in high school, I was one of only three girls in my computer science class. I started initiatives like a women in stem club and things like that to show other girls that they belong as well.
I like the scenario and story! I'd just focus more on recent events as opposed to kindergarten -- what was being a high schooler as 1/2 brown kids in a Tennessee high school like? The notion of using your name Devi/Davy is also really clever --> many students have used this in the past to great success too!
@@elevatedschool i actually moved to texas right before highschool :( so I can't really play the small town card anymore even though the school i go to is still considered 'rural' , but the whole thing about me being one of the handful of girls in our cs department at this school is still true .. do you think it's still worth doing this prompt, because my 13 years there really shaped who I am today
mm I'd probably try to write about something more recent -- admissions officers are interested in who you were in high school (not really elementary or middle school)
hey, hope you consider reading my comment, I am writing an essay relating my family background, how it shaped my interests, what I lacked and how I overcame them, ending with what I wish to do with the acquired skills to help people in future. but i seem to lack a narrative, can you plz drop some tips on how and what to do to make my essay stand out.
hello! thank u for the helpful video! do you think if i write about how I did not place at a DECA competition, it will be a good essay? i hope to show my perseverance, resilience, and ability to come back from a setback through that essay. thanks so much!
hmm honestly it's a little bit of a cliche premise -- I wonder if you can write about something more personal? It could be a good topic for a supplemental essay though since admission officers prefer to read about ECs there!
Thank you. If you could provide me feedback on my topic, I would really appreciate it. Do you think talking about my desire to be a doctor after my father fell extremely ill would work? The doctor said he would never talk again or walk again and left him on his own, forcing our family to bring him home and do both physical and vocal therapy. This allowed him to heal after his stroke and led me to pursue being a doctor so no child would have to deal with such a traumatic experience.
I wrote mine about how failing my road test (twice) killed my confidence and how in deciding to take a third test (and passing) I realized that the fear of failing should not ever stop me from trying again. Do you think this is a good topic?
Hi, new to the channel. I am trying to write a few essays for my M.A creative writing admission. This is what's being asked "Upload a sample of your creative writing. You can submit one essay that's 10 pages in length, or two essays that total 10 pages combined." and "Upload a sample of your critical writing. For your critical writing sample, you should include 1-2 essays, totaling about 10-20 pages, that best demonstrate your ability to write analytically and critically about a literary text." I'm feeling a bit lost on what kind of structure to use and what not. Any help?
I was thinking of writing about the movie Whiplash and the way in which it’s been instrumental on the way I approach creative expression but beyond that, personal growth. Do you think this could work?
This is very helpful! If you're still doing this, I'd appreciate some feedback on my idea. My plan is to start with an anecdote from the day my cousin was born (When my aunt was a teenager she moved in with my mom to help her after I was born and when the time came for her to have a kid herself I did the same for her), and from there talk about the experience I had caring for a human being that relied completely on me. Thinking of framing it with initiative/vulnerability + resilience/responsibility maybe? What do you think?
Yes, that can definitely work! Sounds like a classic "relationship" essay similar to my own! Just make sure you add a unique spicy theme in addition to Initiative, Vulnerability, Responsibility, etc. (since those 3-4 are all quite classic)
"My everyday life with economists monk" - my topic for essay. I choose this, because I am doing a Volunteering in ISKCON, and there is a monk, who was a mentor of mine. And he was a economist/ banker before monkhood. And I learnt so much from him. Should I write on this this? And please give tips for my essay.
My process of pattern making. I walk the reader through my checklist from the moment I have a vision for a garment (bishop sleeves) to the end product. I have a consistent theme of intellectual curiosity and a special theme of learning from experts/elders (I refer to my grandmother who taught me a few pattern making techniques alongside UA-cam gurus from France and South Africa). It’s a bit far fetched but it wouldn’t hurt to draft it, right?
After breaking down socially and emotionally due to bullying in middle school because of my poor physical appearance, I found strength training as a way to rebuild myself. This experience led me to discover my passion for interdisciplinary fields. What do u think of this idea for my essay?
How reading messages calling for freedom at the Maidan protests in Ukraine helped me realize the power of language, and after discovering a passion for cancer research, how I now use language to work with researchers around the world… what do you think? Thank you!
Hmm those may be a bit difficult to connect... the link between power of language and passion for cancer research could be a bit clearer. Those 2 themes are also a bit more on the cliche side, so if you could add in a third *spicy* theme, that would help! Perhaps something like knowledge's ability to unify across different contexts (ranging from the political to the scientific)!
Don’t know if you’re still checking comments but I was thinking of making my essay about how I moved from America to Gambia right before high school and came back to America right before my junior year and also about living with 6 siblings. Don’t know how to synthesize all of that tho
That could work! I'd recommend this 3-scene montage structure -- it's great for students who want to write about multiple key events in their life: ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
I had some ideas discussing my younger brother's ant farm and the cooperation of ants; I could also see bee's working for this, but specifically how bees require unity and hard work to survive just people. The idea would be unique and display intellectual curiosity no?
That's excellent! I'm wondering if you can bake in some more service or proactivity as well -- did you end up teaching others about how ants work together?
Hey ElevatEd, huge fan here! I was wondering how I could pick out certain themes to write about from my main topic, and how that could extrapolate into an essay. Any thoughts?
A great place to start is using our VSPICE themes for classical ones (vulnerability, selflessness, perseverance, initiative, curiosity and expression), then try using a spicier literary theme (like chaos) in the video next!
I hope you're still checking comments. I intend to write an essay based on how I got over my fear of public speaking and it made me realize how I could use communication skills to impact my community as a social activist. I want to mention specific examples of each. What do you think?
Hi Bia! To be honest... I think it's a little bit cliche of a premise. I've read so many essays about students "finding their voice", but that might just be me!
Hello! My essay is not typical; its not the normal essay that gets people into schools (from what I’ve read), but let me know what you think. It’s basically 3 mini examples of how I am a healer to all beings (I’m premed btu I didn’t talk about premed stuff in the essay). It’s not deep, metaphorical, or filled with deep themes/meaning, but it does show (I think) how I am a healer. What do you think?
I want to write my essay about how I always wanted to be ranked the first at my school but I couldn't do this unless I became faster at swimming and how going to every exam with wet hair and with muscle pain made me achieve my dream Is this good?
I am still confised with secret theme? I am not sure what mines could be. Right now my idea is using my bus card + curiosity + ?? I like to commute and support public transportation rather than get my drivers license
Since 2022, we’ve edited more than 3300 college essays and helped hundreds of seniors from around the world gain more than 600+ acceptances to top 20 schools. If you’d like your essay professionally edited, we’d be honored to help!
Visit: www.elevated.school/editmyessay
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As you said, I started today, 2 days before the deadline
more like, the night before the deadline
@@elaraax i'm here right now too 😭😭
Me 3 hours before the deadline😭
@@nishae562omg same
Watching this in October with Early Action due in a few weeks 😭💔
same😭😭
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2 weeks
SAMEE AND I HAVE NOT EVEN STARTED 😭😭😭😭
@@ridabashir9348 ME TOO BRUH im so cooked
Hey, I know you said that musical/athletic performances are not good topics for my college essay, but I was thinking about writing how much music has impacted my life because it has been with me my entire life and has changed my world
do it as long as the storytelling and conclusion is nice any essay can be a diamond in the rough
hope you get admitted
Hope you are still checking comments! My idea is to write about my background and experiences. I grew up in Georgia, a predominantly white country, as a black man. I was the only black person in my school and neighborhood. I want to share what that was like and also talk about my experience immigrating to the United States about a year ago. I'm still figuring out how to structure my narrative, so any input would be greatly appreciated.
Hey Lorenzo! I'd get more specific with the particular experiences/interactions you had with folks in Georgia vs. America. A 3-scene montage structure might work particularly well for you! Check out this video: ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
I can help with essays and other courses, kindly get back. Email: otibarz19@gmail.com
Hi ElevatED! Hope youre still reading comments. I had this idea for my common app essay, writing it in a storyish narrative way, about how I learned to sew when i was 8 (so ten years ago). Explaining the journey of it, how it started from me making small and really rough plushies to, over the years, learning different techniques and working hard in order to use it as a way to give back to others. I started donating some of my stuffed animals to children in foster care, but I also made and gifted some to family members and friends on special occasions. It helped me stay connected to an artistic side of myself but taught me patience and perseverance, which I learned how to use while studying for stem subjects (which is what im interesting in studying) Thank you!
sewing (artistic hobby) + perseverance + positive
I love it! The best part is donating stuffed animals to others -- I'd make this the focus of your essay! This definitely showcases a ton of selflessness infused with creative expression!
@@elevatedschool Thank you so much! I hope to be able to book an appointment or essay review with you guys soon, but I have to see about the pricing and talk to my parents first :)
dreams (the unconscious self) + curiosity + inner discovery?
Thank you, thank you, thank you -- this is the one video that actually helped me come up with good ideas and outlines for my essays. Before this, I knew what was a good essay, I just didn't know how to write it, and I was stuck on one generic idea without any improvement. Now, I have a lot of ideas! Love this video and recommended your channel to my classmates!!
I'm so glad!! This comment made my day!
october 30th 9:20pm
Hi, I hope you are still reading the comments. In my common app essay I want to write about how I grew up in restrictive Indian household where girls were seen as burden and boys were more prioritised and how I wasn't allowed to go anywhere but I fought for my rights and freedom and it shaped me to the person I am today. I'm still figuring out if this is a good topic and how can I present it perfectly.
Thats some absolute realness queen, I'm considering writing something similar but tbh the "resolution" part for me personally is still a work in progress and hasn't really happened yet so I don't know. But you got this!
This is a great resource that I"m going to give to my nephew. Thank You!
Hey, first off want to say thanks for the video, I found it to be very helpful!
My common app essay idea for identity/interest/talent is to talk about my lego collection. My thought is to talk about how building legos for over a decade has helped grow my curiosity for how things work . Along with this I am thinking on including how that has shaped myself to think about tasks in a very simple step by step approach which has led to greater focus and helped me thrive academically.
I like it! I'm just wondering if you can also add in a dimension where you start talking about how your legos have helped others? I worry that this essay will sound too much like "caleb in a cave" -- we want to see how you interact with and help others too!
Hope you are still checking comments, but I just wanted to know if this would be too cliche too write about. At a restaurant I simply held a door open for this lady with a walker and she said in the most soul crushing tone, "Thank you, that's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me in a while." So my general idea is to just simply talk about kindness in small interactions. I feel like that might be too cliche though but I'd appreciate your thoughts! Also thanks I love your videos they are genuinely so helpful and make me feel a little more confident when working on my application.
I hope you're still reading comments! I'm having trouble finding what's best to write about as the topics I have are kind of boring. My first Idea was to write about how my passion for JROTC made me realize my love for music again and how I got into band as a current member now. But the only problem is I'm not in ROTC anymore, so I don't know whether to include it. My second idea was to just write about my JROTC experience and how I won a national championship my freshman year, but yet again I am not in ROTC, so I don't know whether to write about it anymore.
Hmm I think your first story would work better! Focus more on how you joined the band community, and how you've also made it a great experience for others (goal is to show leadership and selflessness, not just personal growth)!
I keep seeing not to do sports, but I'm really passionate about it so I was hoping someone could respond and tell me if I should or not. For context: I was a gymnast from when I was 12-16, I climbed through the ranks with hard work and dedication, even through I only started out in a summer class. I ended up working at the gym for a couple years as well. I was homeschooled, so it wasn't actually a school thing. Thank you so much for this video, it helped me a lot! (I just have a little trouble picking the topic 😅)
Hello! This video was really helpful as I’m just starting to write my essays, so thank you for making it! I’m planning to write about how my dad has been the source of my curiosity and how seeing him do different hobbies has motivated me and make me not afraid to try new things. My dad has worked as a corn vendor, baker, and pizza maker to earn extra money for our expenses. I would go with him to LA to buy materials, and he taught me how to make esquites (corn in a cup), bake cakes, decorate with frosting and fondant, and make pepperoni bites and pizza dough. I would go and sell with him by accompanying him at the stand he set up at a butcher shop near our house. Would this be a good essay to write or a good topic to write about?
I like this topic a lot! It sounds like a classic 'relationship essay' -- this is the same formula Jeff and I both used to get into Yale! I'd recommend taking a look at this video for more details:
@elevatedschool ua-cam.com/video/cu1KJiLBaMM/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
@@elevatedschool thank you so much !!
Hello ElevatEd! As always your video rocked!
I am writing my essay about how from the very beginning of my life I had "tonsillitis", suffered from its excruciating symptoms all of my childhood. But then life took a turn, I started to vocalise to make my vocal cords work properly and soon I started to get recognition for having THE MOST BEAUTIFUL VOICE in my entire school. And how (upon my mom's advice) i got into the field of "VOICE OVER". And now, after countless hours of practice and putting massive amount of time to my vocal practices, I am a professional Voice over Actor.
Although working for 2+ years, how I am overly shy to let my family members to listen to my recordings. Related to this, how I inspired my younger cousins to do VOs, after they listened my audios. And how I overcame my shyness, and this summer recorded 100+ VOs for an international company.
Does this sound like a good essay?
*It will be a huge favor if you review this essay idea*
I'm starting way to late 4 days before the deadline.
thanks for such a worth it 6.5 minutes! My essay idea is about a once adventurous, unpredictable mad scientist going on a spontaneous bus trip from LA to NY to escape and rediscover themself, learning to handle guilt and responsibility, and it was written using all the advice you've given us on the channel! It would mean so much to me if you'd be interested in seeing how all your Common App essay tips have culminated in my story!
I want to make a sort of montage of 4-5 important moments in my life. Starting with a hook of how I hold onto special moments in my life. And then Describing each one putting the reader in my shoes, what I am surrounded by, how I feel. I end with how I hold these moments dear to my heart, they are who I am and who I want to be. The main theme is balance and how all of these moments come together to create a balance for me - I can’t enjoy one without the others. I end with a small story of journaling before bed, documenting the importance and individuality of each day.
Important moments + balance + appreciation
Not sure if this is a good idea? Any feedback is helpful!
Yes, that can totally work! If you're serious about writing a montage essay, I highly recommend checking out this video where I analyze a successful essay that used that approach! ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
Using a craft that a family member that passed away taught me, and writing about a traumatic experience in a fun and light way.
What exactly is the craft? And if you could let me know what you think your core themes are, that would help too!
It’s welding, I think it might be trauma + perseverance + initiative
Although you’ll understand in a better way if you read because I feel I tried to make my personality shine through even though this was a serious essay
@@gobelfury hmm trauma can be a pretty dangerous theme, and perseverance/initiative are pretty classic ones (which is good! you'll need those!) But you should also try to add in a more unique/spicy theme like I mention in the video!
How about adding creativity or transformation?
I've got some only partly formed ideas and was wondering if you could give some brief thoughts if you're still looking at comments!:
My first would start with some anecdotal recounts of my experience at an aerospace competition, the setbacks and multiple near all nighters that were needed to even try to make a comeback. I hope to show my perseverance and how its fueled by passion for the work
Something like: Messy workspace garage @4am + perseverance + passion
second is similar, begin with anecdote and expand. Object would be our dining table which is held up by spare chopsticks instead of pegs. I'd want to connect this out to similar themes of perseverance and resourcefulness.
Chopstick dining table + perseverance + resourcefulness
these ideas are still very basic but any light feedback would be awesome!
The second one has a bit more potential in my opinion! Perseverance and passion are rather cliche, but perseverance and resourcefulness is more unique!
This video really helped me ELEVATE my common app essay draft, thank you so much.
My essay is about me comparing myself with batman due to my introverted persona and a struggle to express emotions. The essay explores overcoming childhood trauma caused by family quarrels, fostering family unity through taking initiative and stepping in to solve these fights while at the same time managing academics, and evolving from an introverted "Batman" to a more open and supportive individual. Themes: resilience, emotional growth, and communication.
*eagerly waiting for the essay reviews*
This could definitely work!! I'd focus more on how you overcame the situation and grew though (make sure over 50% is about that) and not about the trauma, quarrels, etc.!
Hi! My idea is about 3 different experiences in my life where I have lost and then using the same quotation to show that someone expected better of me, so something like
experience
"quotation"
different experience
"same quotation"
different experience
"same quotation"
and basically use that quotation to show that in different aspects of my life, I have performed poorly, and everyone expected me to perform better. Then, the conclusion will basically be that I always blamed everyone for my losses and stress for putting such high expectations on me, but then I realised that those quotations were said by me, not by others. Essentially, trying to show that I realised it was my own expectations upon myself that made me so stressed, so with that realisation I learned to lower my expectations to a healthy amount.
I'm really stressed about the essay so your feedback would be greatly appreciated!
I like the idea but I probably wouldn't use the quote 3x since it eats up a lot of words-- the word count and space could better be used to elaborate more on your own experiences, solutions and insights!
Hello! No clue if you’re still checking the comments, but if you are, thanks for this video and all the ones before! I’ve been binge watching these videos since I discovered your channel and they’ve been super helpful in giving me ideas for my application and essays.
For my personal essay, I was thinking about using decorations/a tour around my room to showcase different aspects of myself (ex. My National Parks postcards from the places I’ve visited + how travel and learning is important and inspired a sense of wonder in me, my band posters/medals that belong to the activity that showed me what leading by serving others looks like, my bookcase + the books that captured my imagination and sparked intellectual curiosity). The idea is I would kind of show my passions and values through the stuff I choose to display in my room, and tie it together with a kind of “there’s still space left over” as like hopes and aspirations for the future. Do you think this would be a good way to write my essay, or do you think it would jump around too much? And would the ending of talking about my hopes for the future be too cliche or should I talk more about how I’ve grown rather than how I hope to continue to grow in the future?
Once again thanks so much even if you don’t end up responding, I really appreciate all the videos and the advice!
Hello! Hope you are still checking comments. I'm thinking of writing my essay about telling jokes. It's something that is uniquely me! I was going to tell it as a story of my life, with a focus on my best friend's diagnosis with cancer. I would tell about how I supported him and joked with him to help get him through his time in the hospital. I would then talk about how humor brings connections. Thoughts?
Telling jokes + selflessness + connection
I like it! I wonder if you can write about 2-3 different situations where your jokes helped a friend, family member, etc. (as opposed to just one incident)
Hi!
I finished a couple of drafts for the prompt about a special talent/background/interest.
I basically tried to take a quirky angle at it and talked about overcoming insomnia by challenging myself more throughout the day and how that’s led me to basically fall asleep within a couple minutes of hitting the bed.
I’m considering restarting from scratch because my advisor said it makes me sound lazy and that I’m selling myself short by making it the focus of my essay
It's an interesting topic! But typically for medical issues, we recommend students write about that in the Additional Information section as opposed for their main Common App/Personal Statement
Hope you are still checking comments .I am a rising junior and I wanted to start early on my essay my idea is to tell a story of my first time learning to climb a tree when I was 12 it took a month to be able to climb a tree I want this to convey a theme of rising up to a challenge and being patience and being able to prove myself
Wow as a student who already went thru the college admission process, I really wish I found this channel earlier. And yes, make sure to start your college essays to as early as possible so that you have ample time to make multiple drafts. since if you don't give yourself enough time to write a good essay it decreases your chances of admission. Applying too late can get you capped or rejected. very insightful video!
Thanks for the high praise George!
@@elevatedschool ofc, well deserved!
Hello, I hope you're still responding to comments although im a bit late. I plan to write about how my headphones, which broke every three months despite me repeatedly making temporary fixes, symbolize my struggle with depression while living with homophobic parents. Just as I struggled to permanently fix my headphones, I was also avoiding the root causes of my emotional pain, including contemplating suicide as a permanent solution to what felt like unsolvable problems. Eventually, I opened up my headphones, discovered the issue, and permanently fixed it. This experience taught me that addressing problems at their core, rather than relying on quick fixes, is important. Applying this lesson to my own life, I reached out for help, confronted my internalized homophobia, and accepted myself, which led to overcoming my depression. This experience just made me start tackling challenges by addressing their root causes whether it is academically or something related to my community. I wanna show that this is the mindset I bring to a college. Is this a generic essay topic or is there something I should specifically focus on when writing this?
that sounds great!! I guess just make sure that it's really your own (which you'd have to do with any other topic, too) - like, could someone else put their name on it and submit it as theirs? If no, well done :)
The idea I have right now is:
perserverence/iniative + self reliance/integrity + origami.
I actually saw another origami in the comments but I am apporaching this from a different angle.
Origami as a art is unique because it is neither additive nor subtractive but transformatative. Any piece of paper, anywhere in the world at any period of time needs only itself to be folded into something amazing (self reliance) while additionally, the paper can only be folded into something amazing if it retains its structural integrity (tearing or literally "cutting corners" off the paper will prevent the final model from looking good) and shape integrity (most origami models are made specifically from square pieces of paper).
Origami is also one of my earilest hobbies, which I also self learnt, and a beautiful intersection between technical logic and artistic expression which emphasized my particular fascination with technology and creative expression. It inspired my love of building and also reflects my resourcefulness (origami can be fold from any piece of paper from reciept paper to exclusive washi paper after all) and self reliant journey.
What do you guys think?
This is incredibly compelling! You have some really fascinating themes already, like self-reliance, the idea of cutting corners and maintaining shape integrity! Now talk about how that extends to other areas of your life too! Excellent! Even two students who write about origami can have totally different takeaways and stories. Both me and one of my best friends at Yale wrote about working at our parents' Chinese restaurants, but she chose a more entrepreneurial angle, while I focused on humility :D
@@elevatedschool I'm glad!
I finished writing my first draft of this topic yesterday, but I noticed a problem I wanted to ask about.
The structure I am using is talking about the different properties of origami and paper and then referencing my own achievements or failures etc. In my opinion, this structure doesn't flow like a story but acts more like a call and response structure and so the essay doesn't flow.
What is a different approach I can take in terms of structure?
Bangladeshi students are in danger. Can you please bring it to attention to the international media?
I hope things get better for you guys, it's truly sad to see
Thank you so much, it means a lot to us... @@AhadJan.
I would like to know more about the situation in your country. Can you please give a personal experience?
@@HiyaAgrawal currently it's doing okay, but at that time, nobody actually dared to step out of their doors.
@@MisaChanlove22 ohhkay thanks
I hope you are still looking at comments! I’m thinking about making my personal statement about my obsession with slime at an older age + creative expression + “childishness” but I want to flip the idea of people calling me childish on its head to signify that I don’t need to conform to societal expectation of what growing up is like. I will talk about how I kept my nativity and how it’s inspired me to look for work as a video game designer so I’ll always be “childish” but in a good way? I’m going to elaborate on how I started my school’s art club and how I created a club for future educators of America to tutor and mentor child to keep myself juvenile yet embed the same passion I have for creative expression. My secret message would probably be how I’m just like slime im resilient to outside forces and able to reform and regain my shape no matter how much pressure I face. I hope this makes sense lol
I like the idea of flipping naivete and childish to mean something good - perhaps you can argue that one must maintain a childlike curiosity and naivete towards the world to remain hopeful! It's an interesting premise!
My biggest idea is to write about a medical condition that I have. Yes, I know, you said not to, but one of the topics is writing about a past challenge and what you learned from it, and I don't want to pass that up.
I have a sort of list of what I want to talk about
* Deaf in my right ear
* Does not affect me nearly as much anymore, however, it did affect my schooling in the past
* Learned sign language
* List a bunch of challenges that I faced
* How I overcame the challenges
* Where I am today
* What I learned from these challenges
Mentioning my book collection and my love for words in my attempts to understand and communicate with the world?
I've definitely heard that story before, so I'd try to infuse it with another theme. Or get hyper-specific: how do you communicate? what topics did you read in your book collection? were they all sci-fi, or a variety of genres?
Hi! I'm writing mine like an instruction manual (assembly process). It goes through what makes me.. me! The issue is that it doesn't specifically focus on one aspect of myself, rather how all of the aspects don't fit together properly (like colorism I faced living in a small town, the lack of female representation in my STEM classes, etc). The final key is to realize that the seemingly mismatched pieces actually form a beautiful mosaic. The challenges and doubts are not flaws but essential elements of a unique and resilient character. I am constantly evolving with the new experiences that come along with it.The goal of the essay was to show my realization that life won't always be a clear, straight path but winding road of exploration and discovery.
I'm just worried this might be too simple or even too 'much' because it doesn't just talk about one specific instance in my life.
Another idea I had was writing about the times I would run through the woods in my backyard as a child and meet all these new creatures and how that made me the curious person I am. I feel like that would also be stereotypical...
What do you think?
Hmm right now resilience, curiosity and the realization that "life is a winding road" are pretty standard, cliche themes - I'd recommend adding in another "spicy" or "unique" theme too like I mention in the video!
my essay is about the transition between Bengali study mode and English study mode in my classes 11 and 12, also I want to showcase that my mind always wants to truly adapt to new things and always seek different endings. as I am a state board student in West Bengal India, all my studies were in Bengali and I am the 1st person in the school's history to do so.
I want to know how to start my essay. And all other things in my essay
bro i have watched more than 200 videos and this was the best, keep going man
Wow, thanks!!!
Hi! Really appreciate all the help you give to us seniors and others applying for schools. I have a question about an idea I had for my essay- I want to write it about how every year of high school, I got cut from our tennis team, but how I still practice every day to get ready to try out the next year. I've met so many people in all the public parks and different courts I have played on, and grown close with people I never would have otherwise, and its really positively impacted me personally. Even though sometimes people I know make fun of me for getting rejected, I went from not being able to cope with failure to realizing that I can learn from it, even if I fail again the next time. I would be a completely different person if I hadn't started playing.
However, I'm worried I might come off as too whiny, especially because tennis is usually considered a rich person sport, and I know not making the team isn't a serious problem (especially compared to problems many others have)- and I'm also worried I'll be portraying myself as weak compared to the other kids. Do you think this is a good idea for my essay, or is there a reason I should avoid talking about this topic? Should I talk about something more creative and different?
Love this idea! It can totally work!
Thanks alot Kev for all that you do for us
*me peacefully thinking about commenting that i have 8 days until two of my deadlines, one of which is my dream school and i haven't started my essay*
him: i have heard HORROR STORIES i wouldn't wish that upon my WORST ENEMY
me: fuck
im cooked early action due in a day, haven't even started
Hi. I hope you see this! I was thinking about writing how a visit I once made to a local Children's home shifted my perspective and how It made me interested in psychology and how the brain works
Yes that could work! I'd just make sure to balance half the essay with intellectual curiosity and service~
@@elevatedschool thankyouu
Suspicious amount of fake comments here.
Hi Kevin! Great video! I hope you still check comments. My idea for the common app essay was: electronic blackboard + creativity + witty carefulness. I want to describe how the electronic keyboard I managed to get for my classroom became a tool to enhance all students’ learning, namely thanks to my creative ways to get the most out of it (like drawing on it a Greek theatre for our classics lessons or using a NERF handgun to turn it on without having each time stand up and click on it). This also sounds like “witty carefulness” to me. What do you think? Thanks for your feedback and help! I’ll certainly look for you essay review service this fall!
Really great idea and premise Luca! You totally get the Kevin stamp of approval!
Thank you so much! You’re so helpful! As an international student, it would have been impossible to get so many incredibly high-quality pieces of information without you! Thanks for your work!
Hey, I've been thinking about writing my essay about cooking, specifically talking about how I developed this through my weight loss jounrey. I initially thought about starting it with a conflict of my weight, but at the same time I don't want my weight part to be the bulk of the essay; rather I'd want it to be a supplement to how I enjoy cooking and learned to make healthier and lower calorie meals to sustain my new life. My question is that would this be a little too cliche, or too focused on the weight part itself?? If the weight part became too much into play, I also wanted to talk about my disdain yet love for oil/butter as it accounts for much of the nutritional value of daily meals and how even though it tastes really good, it is my enemy when it comes to cooking because of how many calories it holds. I'd really appreciate your input and thanks!
Hmm if I’m being honest it’s a little bit of a cliche topic, but could work if you add in more intellectual curiosity and selflessness. How did your understanding of food science and biology for instance help your nutrition journey? How did you teach and share these lessons with others?
Hey, I hope you are still reading comments. I plan to write about being the youngest child of Nigerian immigrants and the pressure to live up to my family's expectations, especially since both of my older siblings went to UPenn. I will describe my first experience taking the subway to my new school, transitioning from a small Christian school in Long Island to a prestigious Manhattan school my brother attended. I'll use my initial struggle navigating the subway as a metaphor for my family's expectations. Over time, this challenge sparked my curiosity about the world and helped me find my sense of individuality and purpose. I was thinking about my sense of purpose by talking about becoming a leader in the BM@L (Black Male Alliance) society and how learning about other black people's experiences helped me to also grow as a person. Also, I talked about my life stories in the meetings to show my way of self-expression. Equation as well: Family Expectation + Memory of the Subway Ride + Memory's symbolism of self-realization and curiosity of the world= Finding my sense of purpose/self-expression
It can definitely work! I'd make the focus of this essay about how you nurtured your curiosity + how the knowledge you gained helped you serve others!
Hello, hopefully you're still checking comments! I'm planning to do my essay about my arangetram(it's basically a indian traditional dance debut/graduation performance where I perform 9-10 different types of dances after almost 12 yrs of training. My idea is to do my Tagore Hall (the hall where my arangetram was) + Creative Expression + Adventure. For my secret theme of adventure, I was thinking of comparing how each dance I perform consecutively is like exploring chapters in a book that altogether represent the culmination of my personal dance journey. Also for creative expression, I was thinking ofwriting about how I can I'm not surincoroprative my own style and creativity into each piece, adding to my secret theme. I'm not sure if the idea is too broad because it is about 9-10 dances but I was thinking about only highlighting a few, including the beginning and ending and overall expressing how my arangetram allowed for personal exploration and storytelling. What do you think?
This is an excellent premise! Love the theme of adventure and fusion of physical dance with intellectual curiosity!
@@elevatedschool Thank You!! Also, do you have any ideas/tips on how I could structure/organize my paragraphs and thesis statement?
This has really been SO helpful. I've kind of modified the whiteboard brainstorming you did, by making it more like a mind map! The idea I'm mainly settled on is my hobby of creating writing scripts and calligraphy and how the process has made me learn the scripts and languages of my culture. A main theme would be how the hobby has made me develop a sense of curiosity about the way culture impacts something as mundane as the characters and alphabets we use to write. Been trying to think of the topic as a motif essay by using the countless amounts of stray papers of calligraphy and writing I have... I'm unsure if the idea is too broad or boring. How could I go about brainstorming a more unique secret theme?
If you're still replying, any advice you can provide would be greatly appreciated!
Love this idea! A secret theme here would be more along the lines of "the subjectivity of beauty" or "flow and beauty"!
Hi,
My common app essay is about is about a school function I organized. i included the hours I spent finding sponsorships and collecting money by organizing fundraises. Also I want to write about the problems that came up during the event and how I managed to solve them. Will this work?
Thank you very much for your help and support I hope you are reading comments because I hope to qualify for a free essay review. i just started a draft about my love for silence to the point where i was able to find a hidden entrance to my school library once.
im interested in how you connected working at your dads restaurant to selflessness and humility because i am in a similar boat.
Is this a good recipe?
3D Printing My friends head (and giving to him on his birthday) + Creative expression + passion
Hook idea: I handed my friend his birthday present. When he opened it his face was in shock as he stared holding onto his own head made out of plastic.
Hi Kevin, thank you for the video! Very informative -- I happened to stumble upon it into my 4th draft. Are you still reading comments?
My current idea is an essay that focuses on my journey overcoming previous fear of failure developed from being compared frequently as a child. I want to tie it to a blog I made earlier, named Ctrl Z after undo, and present the keyboard shortcut as a specific motif along with the blog, to show how I gradually overcame my fear of making mistakes with help of the blog and other learning experiences like in my code (in which I rectify my past mistakes and become used to them with Ctrl Z). (Blog, Ctrl Z keybind + Perseverance + Fearless), if that helps any.
I want to try to not come as too heavy and focus on the personal growth, but I'm 100% sure how to frame it, or if I've provided enough motivation for that in the introduction.
Thanks for your potential consideration!
I think it has some potential! I'd focus less on the blog itself and more examples of you overcoming the fear of making mistakes.
Hope I can get some insight. That formula made me realize that I might just write my essay about the rubik's cube, it's a hobby that I started several years ago and I could relate it many things about myself. I just don't know really how to start the essay, should it be with a description of the puzzle to then expand on how it impacted me?
Perfect Time,
can you make one specifically for MIT essays
Hello, I lived through a protest/massacre and want to showcase that and my background from that country, but I am wondering if I should also talk about the research I have been doing with an MIT professor. Do I have to pick? Do I blend both in? Do I talk about my future goals? I'm just getting slightly confused.
Thank you!
I'd probably the save research with an MIT professor for a supplemental essay! And talk more about your personal background in your main common app~
@@elevatedschool Thank you so much!
Hi, I hope you are still checking comments. My idea was to write about the gifts I make for my friends and family (I have been making cards for practically every occasion since I was little, and more recently, I have made many really intricate crafted shoebox gifts for my friends). I wanted to then transition into the nonprofit I started inspired by my gifts, where I work with a local charity organization and I use donations to make art supply gift boxes for underprivileged kids in my community. I hope to theme my essay around growth and selflessness. Let me know what you think I can improve on!
hey Kevin, going through this process especially as a student with limited knowledge and resources is very hard and scary. but whenever I visit your yt channel, that smile on your face is so comforting yet motivating at the same time. It's like talking with an older brother you never had met before. thank you so much. I am about to start writing my essay and I have an idea of putting down the hardships i faced since childhood and how I overcame them, however the thing thats confusing me is how will i connect different times of hardships I faced because there have been many, spread over the course of my life. can you please suggest something?
Glad to hear you find the content helpful! Regarding the hardships you faced -- it really depends... do you mind elaborating further? Typically, colleges don't like hear about your problems, but if you've really dealt with some extenuating circumstances, then it could be good to write about them.
@@elevatedschool can i talk to you through email?
My college essay topic is about me helping my mom make lunch and realize that once I go to college moments like this will become rare. The event also made me realize that I haven't spent enough time with my mom as I should have and have instead spent most of my time locked up in my room doing other stuff. This reflection made me decide to spend more time with my parents and ask them how their day was instead of just rushing into my room. Would this essay topic be good for conveying my realization that it won't be long before common activities with my parents that I used to take for granted will become memories I wish I could recollect? Thank you!
Hmm the takeaway that "I should spend more time with parents" is a bit weak and obvious right now -- let's upgrade it by flipping into something more along the lines of: "I shouldn't just spend more time with my parents, but also I should __ and __ and __..."
@@elevatedschool Thank you for your suggestion! I was thinking about writing about how a started to perceive and acknowledge small moments of my life like me and my brother making faces when we had to eat veggies for dinner. Moments like those that I took for granted but realize that in the distant future, I won't be able to repeat. I will try to stay away from: "Spend more time with family!"
Hi Kevin! I love your videos, they are incredibly informative and I’m binging all of them haha. Could you take a look at my brainstorming dilemma?
I was a rhythmic gymnast for 12 years, 11 years individual and final year in group (team of 5 girls competing together). In this last year, I realized halfway through that group wasn’t for me and I lost my love for the sport. I wanted to quit, but I had to stay for the good of the group. This conflict lasted for most of the season where it ended with us winning nationals and a wave of relief for me. Themes would be resilience, selfishness… and could probably be the essay on its own.
But I also want to talk about the year after where, as a “retired” athlete, I was now trying to find out who I was. For the first time I could actually fully focus on school and my grades which were always A+/A in the hardest classes. So I did, but I got the worst grades I’d ever received. I’d also auditioned for the forensics team, but didn’t make it. I didn’t know what was happening and if I was losing it. I went to the forensics director asking for another chance, and he gave me one. I worked my way into the team by proving my commitment through my actions.
Speech and debate was intellectual heaven. I wrote a speech about academic burnout- essentially the story of my life- and was able to share that with others. Through forensics I was put in situations that forced me to face my greatest weaknesses and contemplate who I was. Now I can describe myself in a whole new way.
I want to include everything and tie it together with how I shifted from defining myself with achievements to defining myself with traits and worldviews with themes of perseverance and curiosity but I am afraid I am covering too much. What would you recommend I focus on or do?
I am lucky enough to have the resources for your essay feedback, which I plan on using once I write my draft
Thanks for your question Celine! I'd really focus on getting to the part where speech + debate became your haven ASAP! I'd try to get to this point in either paragraph 2 or 3 -- then start talking about how you actually made this club a haven for others too! Some of the rhythmic gymnast context can even be moved to the "Additional Information" section of your common app actually.
Hey! I hopw you're still reading the comments! I am about to start my senior year in high school, and I'm considering writing my common app essay about my experiences in the marching band. I want to talk about being the only person of color in my section, how being in the band helped me to break out of my "shy, quiet girl" persona, and how it changed my perspective on music. Do you think this is a good topic, or do you have any suggestions for changes?
I like the topic a lot! Though it might work a little bit better for a supplemental essay since it seems to be largely about an extracurricular activity
I had an idea to write about how gift- giving is a huge part of my life and personality, but don’t know how i can relate it to different aspects of myself. do you have any tips?
Im currently writing about how a senior leader in a semi-sports activity taught me to be confident and optimistic. Considering switching it to be about playing the game geoguessr, with traits of problem solving and curiosity about the world. Thoughts anyone?
Geoguessing is definitely much more unique than a sports activity -- I'd just combine with a more interesting theme in addition to problem solving and curiosity (perhaps the concept/idea of 'space' or 'proximity' for instance!
Hi! I wanted your opinion on using my MBTI to guide my essay by sharing stories to demonstrate the qualities that make up my MBTI which includes the classic themes of curiosity/selflessness. For an additional special theme, I was thinking of self-reflection by acknowledging my over-idealistic/empathetic self and using that as a point for growth/balance. Thanks!
MBTI is a good way to begin figuring out themes + how best to articulate your story! But I'd try to offer more concrete and specific examples of you applying something like intuition, judgment, good vs. bad perception, etc.!
hey ,really love your content its helps me lot . my idea is about writing how i was looking for freedom and independent life as i belong from a place where girls aren't allowed to live a life of their own .and how i find those little freedom and how i make the best out of it ,hope you will reply
😊thank you i am writing my essay
You said no medical issues but my whole life I've been in the hospital. Like literally 5 months a year for the first 14 years of my life and still
my essay is about how i used to fold origami and that while i was good at folding origami, i couldn't rlly shape the folds that made up my identity and slowly i saw the meaningless activities i used to do transform into bigger activities like origami that make up who i am today.
I like it! What key themes are you trying to showcase? I think transformation is a good start, but perhaps you can add in 1-2 more, like 'dimensions' or the beauty of geometry
@@elevatedschool i'm mostly trying to show growth and passion!! there's so many words that i could use like "design" or "layers" that i'm still trying to incorporate :')
Hope your still reading comments
So my college essay idea is about how I’ve always moved schools and how it made me view life differently teaching me to embrace the changes that come with life instead of fearing them. While also including into the essay how moving so much I had to experience losing bonds that I cherished but finding beauty in being able to make new bonds and experience else where even if it isn’t ideal. Is that a good topic for my first essay like could I have a chance at getting accepted writing about something and also I was thinking of putting the topic as the unknown because I see constantly shifting environments as going into the unknown because it’s different.
This could definitely work! I think that writing about 3 different environments modeled after this montage structure could be particularly effective and powerful for you! Check out this video: ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
@@elevatedschool Thank you for the feedback !
I know you said sports injuries arent a good topic to write about, but what about if that injury stopped me from playing sports altogether?
The normal sports injury essays write about the setback they had, and how they recovered and ultimately came back.
I played sports for 13 years, and had to quit. I still havent put together my themes, but it would go along the lines of how I embraced the change, moved forward, and found a new identity .
Should I just use a different topic, or would it be okay to write about? If so, then any advice would also be appreciated.
I'd recommend writing about a different topic if possible Abraham!
Hi! Thank you so much for this video. However, I don't understand what you mean by 'classical theme'. Could someone shed some more light on that?
Examples of classical themes include: vulnerability, selflessness, perseverance, initiative, curiosity and creativity -- for more about that, check out this video! ua-cam.com/video/mQTj3ZJAl1c/v-deo.html
Hi! i’m having trouble with my hidden theme i wanted to do a funny story on how i broke my two front teeth during a bike race the big theme being perseverance but im not sure how to put into words a hidden theme. this might be hard to give feedback since you don’t know me but i thought id try 😅
Hopefully you’re still reading comments. I plan on writing my essay to mainly focus on how some events in my life inspired me to ambitious and embrace opportunities to grow despite a disadvantaged background, and also to highlight my tendency to be practical and take a hands-on approach to things.
Solid story arc! Just make sure to add tons of specific details/anecdotes unique to you!
@@elevatedschool Of course. Thanks😁
Hi! I really hope you are still checking these comments :)
So basically, I’m not going to disclose my name, but that’s what this essay is all about. I grew up in a small town where people were found few and far between (and diversity for that matter) but cows were ubiquitous.As 1 of 2 brown kids at my elementary school (the other was my brother), I faced a lot of prejudice. I was constantly asked if I was sunburnt, if my parents worked at the local gas station, etc. In an effort to try to belong, I changed the only thing within my control: what other people called me. I actually got my nickname (Devi) from Davy Crockett, which makes sense because I lived in Tennessee!
My essay idea was kind of the idea that ‘I am Devi. My name is (insert my name here). The idea behind this is that, even now, I feel a disconnect from my actual name and I can’t reconcile these two statements to say I AM (birth name).
I was going to execute this by splitting the essay into ‘Devi’ and (my birthname) to emphasize them as two different people but then ending it off with a sort of shaky reconciliation to show that I’m still getting used to this whole other side of me and the fact that, in my own way, I finally belong?
My name + vulnerability/creativity + inner being/belonging
Also, should i add this aspect somehow instead of just focusing on my name?
Kindergarten was the fateful year I joined our school's Gifted and Talented science program, which consisted of me and six other boys. I spent my entire childhood believing that STEM, like many other aspects of life in Tennessee, wasn't a place where I belonged. Even after moving, in high school, I was one of only three girls in my computer science class. I started initiatives like a women in stem club and things like that to show other girls that they belong as well.
I like the scenario and story! I'd just focus more on recent events as opposed to kindergarten -- what was being a high schooler as 1/2 brown kids in a Tennessee high school like? The notion of using your name Devi/Davy is also really clever --> many students have used this in the past to great success too!
@@elevatedschool i actually moved to texas right before highschool :( so I can't really play the small town card anymore even though the school i go to is still considered 'rural' , but the whole thing about me being one of the handful of girls in our cs department at this school is still true .. do you think it's still worth doing this prompt, because my 13 years there really shaped who I am today
mm I'd probably try to write about something more recent -- admissions officers are interested in who you were in high school (not really elementary or middle school)
hey, hope you consider reading my comment, I am writing an essay relating my family background, how it shaped my interests, what I lacked and how I overcame them, ending with what I wish to do with the acquired skills to help people in future. but i seem to lack a narrative, can you plz drop some tips on how and what to do to make my essay stand out.
Sure! I'd really focus on highlighting creative problems and solutions that you've had to deal with -- the more unique, the better!
@@elevatedschool is it like sharing some examples?
hello! thank u for the helpful video! do you think if i write about how I did not place at a DECA competition, it will be a good essay? i hope to show my perseverance, resilience, and ability to come back from a setback through that essay. thanks so much!
hmm honestly it's a little bit of a cliche premise -- I wonder if you can write about something more personal? It could be a good topic for a supplemental essay though since admission officers prefer to read about ECs there!
Homemade green grape costume+ creative expression+ self-confidence. Chat is it too stupid?
You are the best I swear. keep going vaiya.❤
Thank you. If you could provide me feedback on my topic, I would really appreciate it. Do you think talking about my desire to be a doctor after my father fell extremely ill would work? The doctor said he would never talk again or walk again and left him on his own, forcing our family to bring him home and do both physical and vocal therapy. This allowed him to heal after his stroke and led me to pursue being a doctor so no child would have to deal with such a traumatic experience.
I wrote mine about how failing my road test (twice) killed my confidence and how in deciding to take a third test (and passing) I realized that the fear of failing should not ever stop me from trying again. Do you think this is a good topic?
I like the premise, but I think the theme/takeaway could be a bit more original!
watching this 4 days before submission ;-;
Same lol, best of luck 💪
Hi, new to the channel. I am trying to write a few essays for my M.A creative writing admission. This is what's being asked "Upload a sample of your creative writing. You can submit one essay that's 10 pages in length, or two essays that total 10 pages combined." and "Upload a sample of your critical writing. For your critical writing sample, you should include 1-2 essays, totaling about 10-20 pages, that best demonstrate your ability to write analytically and critically about a literary text." I'm feeling a bit lost on what kind of structure to use and what not. Any help?
I was thinking of writing about the movie Whiplash and the way in which it’s been instrumental on the way I approach creative expression but beyond that, personal growth. Do you think this could work?
This is very helpful! If you're still doing this, I'd appreciate some feedback on my idea. My plan is to start with an anecdote from the day my cousin was born (When my aunt was a teenager she moved in with my mom to help her after I was born and when the time came for her to have a kid herself I did the same for her), and from there talk about the experience I had caring for a human being that relied completely on me. Thinking of framing it with initiative/vulnerability + resilience/responsibility maybe? What do you think?
Yes, that can definitely work! Sounds like a classic "relationship" essay similar to my own! Just make sure you add a unique spicy theme in addition to Initiative, Vulnerability, Responsibility, etc. (since those 3-4 are all quite classic)
What do you consider a draft? Is it different essays or a revised version of the same essay?
A revised version of the same essay
How do I block?
Write down your ideas for common apps below and I'll rate them + offer some feedback! We're here to help!
"My everyday life with economists monk" - my topic for essay.
I choose this, because I am doing a Volunteering in ISKCON, and there is a monk, who was a mentor of mine. And he was a economist/ banker before monkhood. And I learnt so much from him.
Should I write on this this? And please give tips for my essay.
I am batman
My process of pattern making. I walk the reader through my checklist from the moment I have a vision for a garment (bishop sleeves) to the end product. I have a consistent theme of intellectual curiosity and a special theme of learning from experts/elders (I refer to my grandmother who taught me a few pattern making techniques alongside UA-cam gurus from France and South Africa). It’s a bit far fetched but it wouldn’t hurt to draft it, right?
After breaking down socially and emotionally due to bullying in middle school because of my poor physical appearance, I found strength training as a way to rebuild myself. This experience led me to discover my passion for interdisciplinary fields. What do u think of this idea for my essay?
I started my work to create a student council in my area to solve the problem of unused books and recycling them + fear of failure + creativity
How reading messages calling for freedom at the Maidan protests in Ukraine helped me realize the power of language, and after discovering a passion for cancer research, how I now use language to work with researchers around the world… what do you think? Thank you!
Hmm those may be a bit difficult to connect... the link between power of language and passion for cancer research could be a bit clearer. Those 2 themes are also a bit more on the cliche side, so if you could add in a third *spicy* theme, that would help! Perhaps something like knowledge's ability to unify across different contexts (ranging from the political to the scientific)!
@@elevatedschool Thank you!
awesome man! thank you
Awesome 😂❤ I love this
Don’t know if you’re still checking comments but I was thinking of making my essay about how I moved from America to Gambia right before high school and came back to America right before my junior year and also about living with 6 siblings. Don’t know how to synthesize all of that tho
They’re just like kinda unique experiences that I thought I should mention. Need all the help I can get thanks :)
That could work! I'd recommend this 3-scene montage structure -- it's great for students who want to write about multiple key events in their life: ua-cam.com/video/7xO0NYUwZKc/v-deo.html&ab_channel=ElevatEdSchool
@@elevatedschool thank you I’ll check it out!
I had some ideas discussing my younger brother's ant farm and the cooperation of ants; I could also see bee's working for this, but specifically how bees require unity and hard work to survive just people. The idea would be unique and display intellectual curiosity no?
That's excellent! I'm wondering if you can bake in some more service or proactivity as well -- did you end up teaching others about how ants work together?
@@elevatedschool Yeah that sounds great; is there a way you could give me some pointers on how to take that essay further than just a hook/idea?
Hey ElevatEd, huge fan here! I was wondering how I could pick out certain themes to write about from my main topic, and how that could extrapolate into an essay. Any thoughts?
A great place to start is using our VSPICE themes for classical ones (vulnerability, selflessness, perseverance, initiative, curiosity and expression), then try using a spicier literary theme (like chaos) in the video next!
Thank you so muchh. I can now finally start my common app essay 😭😭
I hope you're still checking comments. I intend to write an essay based on how I got over my fear of public speaking and it made me realize how I could use communication skills to impact my community as a social activist. I want to mention specific examples of each. What do you think?
Hi Bia! To be honest... I think it's a little bit cliche of a premise. I've read so many essays about students "finding their voice", but that might just be me!
@@elevatedschool Thank you for your honesty. How could I improve it then? Do you have any ideas?
Hello!
My essay is not typical; its not the normal essay that gets people into schools (from what I’ve read), but let me know what you think. It’s basically 3 mini examples of how I am a healer to all beings (I’m premed btu I didn’t talk about premed stuff in the essay). It’s not deep, metaphorical, or filled with deep themes/meaning, but it does show (I think) how I am a healer. What do you think?
should the vspice theme of my essay be the same theme throughout my ecs and awards?
I want to write my essay about how I always wanted to be ranked the first at my school but I couldn't do this unless I became faster at swimming and how going to every exam with wet hair and with muscle pain made me achieve my dream
Is this good?
I am still confised with secret theme? I am not sure what mines could be. Right now my idea is using my bus card + curiosity + ?? I like to commute and support public transportation rather than get my drivers license