"Work Family" is a LIE - Why Coworkers Are NOT Your Family

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  • Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
  • "Work Family" is a LIE and Why Coworkers Are NOT Your Family. Work family does NOT exist. There’s a place for work and a place for family. If you're in an interview, you ask interviewers about their company culture, and they say “we are like a family" and that there’s "no office politics here", watch out for warning signs, because this is a clear RED FLAG. Your company is not your family, your co-workers are clearly not your family. Having a positive work culture doesn’t mean you should think of your co-workers as a family. The “Co-workers are your family” dynamic is used by both CEOs and managers in hopes of keeping employees loyal. But this kind of dynamic and terminology can often lead to painful and dangerous career experiences and side effects and you'd rather find out why.
    In this video I’ll share with you 3 reasons why the “Work Family” concept is a LIE and why your co-workers are NOT your family.
    If you liked this video, I recommend you watch:
    How To Spot A Toxic Boss - Signs Of A Bad Manager - • How To Spot A Toxic Bo...
    7 Signs You Should Quit Your Job - • 7 Signs You Should QUI...
    Interview Red Flags: Signs of a Toxic Work Environment - • Interview Red Flags: S...
    Signs You Are In a Toxic Workplace and How To Deal With It - • Signs You Are In a Tox...
    How To Deal With A Toxic Boss - • How to Deal with a Tox...
    Signs You Need To QUIT Your Job - When To Leave A Job? Live - • Signs You Need To QUIT...
    7 Signs You’re About To Get Fired - • 7 Signs You’re About T...
    How To Live a Happy And a Healthy Life - • 10 Habits Which Will C...
    Signs You Worry Too Much About What Others Think - • Signs You Worry and Ca...
    How To Stop Caring What Others Think Of You - • How to Stop Caring Wha...
    How To Spot A Toxic Boss and How to Deal With Toxic Manager - • Signs You Work For A T...
    It's important to understand the company culture that the “work family” promotes. Framing your co-workers as your family and thinking about your company as a “Work Family” has clear advantages for your company but not really for you. Of course, you spend at least 40 hours a week at the company with your colleagues, it's only human nature wanting to belong. But when you think of your company and co-workers as of your family, you may bring dysfunction into the workplace which sooner or later backfires against you.
    I am Marat from EMMOTION, myemmotion.com, Recruitment and Career Services Agency, look me up on LinkedIn. On this channel I train and coach you to ace your job interviews fast, to gain confidence as a professional and learn how to deal with corporate politics, being a better person yourself first.
    FOLLOW US ON:
    INSTAGRAM: / emmotionbymarat
    LINKEDIN: / emmotion
    Facebook: / emmotionbymarat
    Twitter: / emmotionbymarat
    Website: myemmotion.com
    #workfamily #coworkersfamily #toxicworkenvironment #micromanagement #toxicboss #toxicjob #EmmotionbyMarat #companyfamily #toxicworkplace #coworkerarenotyourfriends

КОМЕНТАРІ • 395

  • @myemmotion
    @myemmotion  3 роки тому +55

    Have you experienced the “we’re family” concept at your company? I hear companies and managers using this statement and with time you realize how wrong that phrase is. For further help in dealing with toxic work environment check this playlist out:ua-cam.com/video/VKi4W90CmSw/v-deo.html

    • @markstone7219
      @markstone7219 3 роки тому +2

      Interesting thanks

    • @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz
      @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz 3 роки тому +2

      Your videos keep getting better.

    • @reedrts1
      @reedrts1 3 роки тому +2

      Yes....."bleck"......that expression has always made me sick.

    • @reedrts1
      @reedrts1 3 роки тому +1

      Big thumb up! I have always hated that expression. If it were true, trust me, I know a few former co eorkers I need to put over my knee.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому

      @@markstone7219 Thanks so much!

  • @aratipillai9561
    @aratipillai9561 Рік тому +160

    'Work is not a family, work is a contract' GOLD 👍🏽

    • @CartoonMitchell
      @CartoonMitchell Рік тому +8

      It's not even that... if they can let you go without even a reason.

    • @neilmcdougall4927
      @neilmcdougall4927 7 місяців тому +1

      A contract is not an expansion

  • @VernalScott
    @VernalScott 3 роки тому +303

    Thanks Marat. They call themselves a family, but if you don't 'fit in' they come across as a self-serving clique.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +43

      Absolutely. And they will single out whoever isn't willing to "accept" and "fit in", very good point!

    • @Obliv69
      @Obliv69 3 роки тому +5

      @@myemmotion please see my comment above, what you just described is actually a real family dynamic for some people.
      we dont get to choose who we grow up with, but we can choose who we work with

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +3

      @@Obliv69 Just did, makes a lot of sense!

    • @Shay4YourMind81
      @Shay4YourMind81 3 роки тому +9

      Exactly 💯 Have been the one who didn’t fit in, and this is so accurate.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +5

      @@Shay4YourMind81 Glad you managed to leave it behind! Such environment still makes us deal with the aftermath.

  • @suzycatipiller821
    @suzycatipiller821 Рік тому +11

    If my last job was considered my family, then it was a very dysfunctional one.

  • @overtheGarage-ue8lh
    @overtheGarage-ue8lh Рік тому +48

    I worked for a company when I was in my early 30s that accused me of "not being a team player" by not attending unpaid breakfasts that were never discussed during my interview. It was a high paying job but the manager was a nightmare who used to sleep with employees so why in the world would I want to eat breakfast with him and his yes men.

  • @Vasco1-n7x
    @Vasco1-n7x Рік тому +13

    I cringe when I hear companies say we're like a family. I want to say no you're not because there's no love and you wouldn't be there for me when I have personal issues. It sounds nice but just better if they didn't say that

  • @Hollablackgirl93
    @Hollablackgirl93 2 роки тому +140

    The work family culture is like working for a cult. I was just fired from this environment because I stood up to my manager. They act like they can speak to you any kind of way but you weren't able to do the same.... The job didn't even have HR so I should have known better. You live and you learn.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +18

      Absolutely. Not having any "HR" figure at this day and age can already be a warning sign. Cult-like environments is a NO-win situation because you won't ever do anything right, according to them of course. Unless you showcase an exact same unprofessional "family" mindset.

    • @anitaknight3915
      @anitaknight3915 2 роки тому +5

      Same thing I'm going through!! They pretended to sell their company as this really supportive "family environment" and I'm finding out it's nothing but smoke and mirrors cult like atmosphere. There's tons of gaslighting, manipulation, lack of communication and support, plus throwing others under the bus. There is only 1 lady who is HR and an officer manager lol. My gut instincts went off after I started that they're totally a facade cult.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +8

      @@anitaknight3915 It’s because everything is so much easier to justify when said that “they are a family”. It didn’t take you long to see them through and you’ll be finding another, much better opportunity for you!

    • @anitaknight3915
      @anitaknight3915 2 роки тому +6

      @@myemmotion I've already been searching for a job but its tough with this vaccine mandate in healthcare. I voiced some concerns and tried to give feedback on things not working that are affecting my job and I recently was ambushed by a meeting with CEO, clinic director and then HR(only hr person they have) all turned around the blame and gaslighted me. It was so awful and appalling how the other two women could turnaround and blatantly lie despite numerous convos and emails. That let me know I'm completely unsupported and they all are in this manipulative cult that they'll bully anyone who isn't controllable into coercing you to comply. It's psychological abuse!!

    • @CaesarInVa
      @CaesarInVa Рік тому +5

      Yeah...."we're family here" means "We are going to treat you like shit the way we do our children at home, and you aren't going to dare to stand up against us"....only in this case, you did. Hopefully, you know which cars belong to your abusers in the company parking lot.....invest in a box of nails.

  • @daviddeparis3852
    @daviddeparis3852 3 роки тому +43

    Coworkers and your company are not your family nor your friends.
    You are so right took me time to understand this

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +3

      Thanks a lot for your feedback and for stopping by!

  • @chrislofaro9614
    @chrislofaro9614 Рік тому +5

    “We are a family” is the most telling sign a company is toxic. You can be friends and even close to co worker like family. I’m certainly close with one of my moms coworkers like a second mom. But they have to earn that respect and usually the ones that go on about family are the ones who don’t earn the respect.

  • @pumpkinface8151
    @pumpkinface8151 6 місяців тому +5

    Started out as an intern in my early 20's for the company I currently work for. Back then, the naivety I had still blows my mind. The whole "family" emphasis said at every one of our meetings really made me think this company is something special, something unique, its not. Made me think how much they care for their employees, they don't. Took me a while to open my eyes to this manipulative tactic/philosophy but now I see it and now I'm looking for a new job.

  • @grumpyschnauzer
    @grumpyschnauzer Рік тому +5

    The best part “There is no hierarchy here. We are all on the same level,” says my Supervisor. Of course, she can say that because she’s the one in power. Then one day, she tells me to get something in. I tell her, “Definitely will do. Tomorrow, when I’m working.” Two hours later, her boss sends me an email saying they need it done today. I begrudgingly do it. Now, I realize it’s time to get out. Stay away from places that appear to have a “mommy” and “daddy” running the show. These are toxic family dynamics that are brought in by people in power (owners, managers, etc) to create their own “family” because they never had a good relationship with their own. For many weeks my boss told me how much she had a problem trusting people but would gossip to people right in front of me about others. I’m getting out as soon as I can.

  • @tina8796
    @tina8796 Рік тому +21

    SO TRUE. Same goes with neighbors. Certainly not your family or friends either for that matter

  • @Weltbummler23
    @Weltbummler23 Рік тому +5

    Just remember, the mafia also likes to use the term ‘family’

  • @haroldfridkis3536
    @haroldfridkis3536 2 роки тому +25

    That's like befriending an FBI agent or a state trooper.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +6

      Exactly, it's bound to backfire at you at some point and there is nothing you could do to prevent it.

  • @EpicDreamer_
    @EpicDreamer_ Рік тому +46

    “Work is not a family. Work is a contract.”- thanks Marat. So many truths in your honest videos!

    • @SgtJoeSmith
      @SgtJoeSmith Рік тому +4

      If only employees figure that out. Applicants I interview only care about how big of a family they will be joining. I tell them it dont matter and they not your family they are your competition.

    • @EpicDreamer_
      @EpicDreamer_ Рік тому +2

      @@SgtJoeSmith i thought like that before when I applied to the jobs to the company to be responsible, a huge name… and then, it is a trap, where only they care about their salaries and their bonuses, while using the employees.

    • @TaxingIsThieving
      @TaxingIsThieving 10 місяців тому +1

      I finally figured out I'm not one of the "extended family" when I got a final written warning for not doing something they hardly do themselves! I'm glad, it made me wake up.

  • @amysimmons805
    @amysimmons805 3 роки тому +84

    They only want to be "your family" when it's useful to them and that's it. When you need something from them, when you ask for something it all falls on deaf ears. Seen it happen again and again.
    Lovin' ur videos Marat

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +5

      Great point. Thank you very much for your kindness and feedback!

    • @matthewsmith2787
      @matthewsmith2787 3 роки тому +6

      Workmates are not family at all

    • @amysimmons805
      @amysimmons805 3 роки тому +8

      @@matthewsmith2787 they are not and some workmates are real backstabbers

    • @matthewsmith2787
      @matthewsmith2787 3 роки тому +3

      @@amysimmons805 Sure are

  • @tamiz8895
    @tamiz8895 Рік тому +18

    I agree 💯. Be very very careful what you say to others at work. It’s really scary how fast people will turn on you. Soooo toxic and cutthroat 🔪

  • @bronwynhanford9424
    @bronwynhanford9424 2 роки тому +18

    I was told by my manager that my work colleagues are like family. The company lied to me and didn't respect me. I often helped my work colleagues, they never helped me

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +2

      That’s what “work family” culture is about. Btw, I love the cat in your avatar!

    • @NelsonStJames
      @NelsonStJames Рік тому +3

      A competent worker who falls for the "we are family" line at a job tends to be the worker that is most often used and taken for granted at a company; however, if they're smart and have ample self-esteem, they catch on real fast to what's going on.

    • @kenlandon7803
      @kenlandon7803 6 місяців тому

      Friends are the same way. Its you help them, they don't do jack for you, but everyone "appreciates" you. B.S.

  • @workoutathomeideas2873
    @workoutathomeideas2873 3 роки тому +21

    "There is a place for work and a place for family"

  • @orchideenoir8934
    @orchideenoir8934 3 роки тому +70

    This toxic abuse happened to me last week. Thank you for helping me to understand how dangerous this and what is really happening.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +3

      You are very welcome! Thank you for stopping by and for your kind feedback. What happened at your work if I may ask? Was it some kind of psychological blackmail?

    • @lucyslivingroom5087
      @lucyslivingroom5087 3 роки тому +2

      yeah what did they do?

    • @tisurmaster
      @tisurmaster 2 роки тому +1

      after 20 years, I started to see this. Mine is not bad though, but I'm glad I started to see this.

  • @fenzhopa13
    @fenzhopa13 Рік тому +18

    My last boss implemented this at my job. It was horrible always would volunteer me for other jobs and asked last minute to comply. Now we have a new boss and everything is way better. I also do not hang out or interact with my co workers outside of my job. Thank you so much Marat.

  • @Obliv69
    @Obliv69 3 роки тому +34

    some people also come from toxic family environments. Theres the fake family display in front of other people to show how great the family is, but in private its actually a very negative experience where some people put all their crap onto the 'black sheep'.
    and if the black sheep speaks out against how bad the family is, theyre made to feel even worse. "he always complains, he's really the problem" etc.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +10

      This applies for those who's experienced toxic families. They will bring the same kind of dynamic into the workplace. But for many others, family members are indeed the closest people they might have, so they will be doing their best to get on with them, to please them and to protect them. And that's the type of "family" mindset some CEOs or managers would want to install. Because this way it's just a one sided relationship, because you give your 100%, the company gives 0%.

    • @albertom7679
      @albertom7679 3 роки тому +6

      black sheep theory makes sense when they single you out for not doing what they want you to

    • @matthewsmith2787
      @matthewsmith2787 3 роки тому +6

      The staff always give 100% but the company gives zero loyalty or reward back

    • @albertom7679
      @albertom7679 3 роки тому +3

      @@matthewsmith2787 I guess they make to fool some employees and trick them into believing the work family thing

  • @michaelh5055
    @michaelh5055 3 роки тому +102

    I remember starting at my current company and constantly hearing the phrase we are a family.
    As you get older, you learn how to see through the bs. I got the gut feeling that this company wasn't going to be all that great. And within the first year, I learned my gut instinct was right.
    They rarely give raises from what I have learned. But they have no problems asking for more and more work. Our regional manager constantly says we are all in this together and to work like a family 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️. I tell him that my family throws fists when we work together 🤣🤣🤣
    They have no issues with you working past 5, but you do not get any extra pay. When 5 hits, I get up and leave. I have been asked why I haven't finished the assignment. I reply that I am not paid past 5.

    • @albertpd4994
      @albertpd4994 3 роки тому +9

      lol at family throwing fists
      you are right as the years pass you can see through some of the bs they tell us

    • @michaelh5055
      @michaelh5055 3 роки тому +8

      @@albertpd4994 I really am looking into trying to start a lawn care business. I am just sick of the corporate office nonsense.
      Whatever happened to just doing a good job and earning a paycheck??? It seems like companies just want to use metrics and numbers to keep you feeling as if you are about to lose your job.
      I am not young, but not old at 39. I am still trying to figure out what makes me happy work wise... I have a good wife and kid. I refuse to be that company guy who works all the time and misses out. But I just want to find something enjoyable 🤣

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +6

      It's funny how you learned to see through their lies and you even manage it with a lot of sense of humor :) I think it's great that you set your boundaries and you stick to them, as you say, you are not getting paid past 5 so there we go.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +5

      @@michaelh5055 I really think that starting your business would work well for you. Work on your business plan, it is a huge first step which will help you get initiated with all the rest. You are young, you don't need to rush, but it's only natural for you to want to focus on something you enjoy, rather than doing your 9-5 somewhere you don't want to be at.

    • @henryrogers5500
      @henryrogers5500 Рік тому +2

      I worked for a company for about a year. I knew they were cheap and didn't pay well but I took the job anyway for something to do with my time. As the year went by, the manager and the owner wanted me to take on additional responsibilities, with training, and I would be responsible for so much more of the company's success. I told them I wanted an increase in pay. They said no. I quit without giving any notice the next day. No regrets. No apologies.

  • @JesusSaves1987
    @JesusSaves1987 Рік тому +6

    If your employer were really like family, then your employer would pay you a livable wage.

  • @keyhimself3542
    @keyhimself3542 2 роки тому +30

    When I look back on my employment history, the time I was most miserable is when I worked with my literal family. Seriously, everyday I was driving to work I was contemplating driving off the bridge

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +8

      Wow, that must have been horrible. And for sure, I would never advice anyone to work with their direct family, no boundaries bond to destroy everything.

    • @keyhimself3542
      @keyhimself3542 2 роки тому +7

      @@myemmotion exactly. Also, the problem with family seems to be that they can't see you past a certain age. I have friends who worked at the same company with their d a d but their d a d always treated them as if they were 12

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +6

      @@keyhimself3542 Yes, it makes it impossible to actually become valued for your professional achievements and skills. Then there is also a family drama behind the scenes which isn't necessary at work at all.

    • @TaxingIsThieving
      @TaxingIsThieving 2 роки тому +2

      ​@@keyhimself3542 You should try being the outsider in a family business!

    • @rashan2424
      @rashan2424 Рік тому +2

      My best friend's dad doesn't hire him to work with him or anyone who's associated with him. That's what you call smart business, no nepotism or favoritism, just good business sense

  • @CatherineCayabyab
    @CatherineCayabyab 2 роки тому +22

    That came thru.. "Work is not a Family, Work is a CONTRACT". That's really a FACT. Thank you Marat. 😊

  • @shatilachowdhury5321
    @shatilachowdhury5321 Рік тому +14

    Thanks Marat, I thought work was another family and colleagues are family members, but during my first job, I was extremely nice to a colleague and that “ niceness” backfired on me. Work is never a family. Colleagues are never my family members. It’s a LIE.

  • @matthewsmith2787
    @matthewsmith2787 3 роки тому +43

    Problem is many co workers seem friendly enough, but they are usually the first ones who report you. I had a bad back, and I said to my co worker that could you do lift these boxes? She was fine with it and said no problem, next thing I know there was a complaint that she wasn’t managing on her own

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +18

      That's not cool at all, those kind of coworkers are clearly backstabbers. I really don't get why people would act this way.

    • @clevelandwilliams5922
      @clevelandwilliams5922 Рік тому +7

      Favouritism is what takes place when they like someone.

  • @albertom7679
    @albertom7679 3 роки тому +19

    This is on point, we all want to belong somewhere but not to a work family

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +6

      We want a healthy and positive work environment.

  • @zxctgb
    @zxctgb Рік тому +3

    A manager referred to herself as my auntie, and two months later she was ghosting me.

  • @emmsummer7811
    @emmsummer7811 3 роки тому +61

    As you said cult like loyalty is what they want. Company culture based on this kind of manipulation is toxic AF.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +9

      The more "cult-ish" the culture is, the worse are their office politics.

    • @overtheGarage-ue8lh
      @overtheGarage-ue8lh Рік тому +1

      I used to have this long suffering work ethic. If a company preaches loyalty, why do they lay off people the moment someone on TV says there might be a recession looming? When my dream job company was bought out by some rich billionaires they made a slew of job cuts then admitted they had cut too deep and said they did not give raises unless you did something really meritorious. I started looking for another job.

    • @emmsummer7811
      @emmsummer7811 Рік тому

      @@overtheGarage-ue8lh I really have to agree, we are only there to make them money and no one cares for anything else

  • @ekkamailax
    @ekkamailax 2 роки тому +37

    Why does HR keep telling employees they are a family and forcing them to partake in these “team bonding” activities to brainwash them into thinking they are family

    • @jlmadd
      @jlmadd Рік тому +7

      Because they lie and its sucker bait

    • @pinoyheartbeat7245
      @pinoyheartbeat7245 Рік тому +4

      I always hear team bonding at work and what kinds of activities we should do outside work hours for "bonding" . What a bunch of BS.

    • @NelsonStJames
      @NelsonStJames Рік тому +7

      Presently at a job where management keeps wanting the employees to "do stuff" together outside of work, which many employees aren't keen on doing, because: 1 some have their own families, and 2 many understand that one's work life and one's personal life are meant to be separate and that for a large part many of us would never hang out together on our own if it weren't for the job.

    • @bestdisco1979
      @bestdisco1979 Рік тому +5

      I once had a boss who said we all share idea’s because we are like a family and it’s good for the company. I suggested an improvement which would increase productivity. Later that year he promoted my idea to the big boss as though it was his own. The improvement was a success, my boss gained a pay bonus and pats on the back,,,,,,,,I got nothing.

    • @jlmadd
      @jlmadd Рік тому +1

      @@bestdisco1979 now you understand

  • @Kitty5710
    @Kitty5710 Рік тому +3

    I have been retired for almost 10 years and nobody in my work 'family' misses me or calls. When I called about 3 years ago only a couple of people who used to know me still worked there.

    • @geoffreybrooks1220
      @geoffreybrooks1220 2 місяці тому +1

      I feel your pain. I was furloughed from my day job a few months ago and all of the coworkers who I thought were my friends have yet to reach out to me. I doubt they ever will. Oh well, lesson learned. Onto bigger and brighter things.

  • @spr822
    @spr822 Рік тому +5

    Something I have learnt in the corporate world, you want loyalty, get a dog.

    • @victortaylor7737
      @victortaylor7737 Рік тому

      Sounds about right to me.i had a private word with my coworker about a comment he made, my girlfriend told me.when i confronted him, he denied it& said we were friends.i told him friends dont make personal comments about their love interests.i had some other incidents down thru the years(25 years to be exact).im studying copywriting & hope to leave this job in a year, too much drama, politics, etc.

  • @xorrior4438
    @xorrior4438 9 місяців тому +7

    This is not a lesson I need but more people need to see and understand this so I’m giving this a huge like.👍

  • @markstone7219
    @markstone7219 3 роки тому +25

    This is very real. Well said and put

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +3

      I am really glad you think so!

    • @markstone7219
      @markstone7219 3 роки тому +2

      @@myemmotion yes, you already know about my experience but it’s insane how much your videos resonate with my experience

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +2

      @@markstone7219 I appreciate your kind words!

  • @richerDiLefto
    @richerDiLefto Рік тому +1

    True. Your coworkers aren’t your “friends” either. It’s the same concept and it doesn’t work.

  • @hopeh1095
    @hopeh1095 Рік тому +7

    Work is where you come to show good work ethics, respectful morals, helping a company reach daily goals, serve customers, work together as a team to complete multiple tasks. We have to remember work is meant for working. Getting extremely close to anyone at work puts you in a very vulnerable situation. Yes, watch out for the ones saying we are a family here, remember one manger saying that. Kid you not everyday felt like a very demonic toxic encounter with that job. Everyday I wanted to quit. Sometimes coworkers get close because they have naturally have similar interests and views on different topics. 💕

  • @Mluisgr81
    @Mluisgr81 Рік тому +11

    Everything you stated in this video is 100% correct. Managers calling the workplace a family in my opinion is also a form of gaslighting. They know it’s a lie but say it anyways. Truth is, there should always be a work/home balance. Work is a place to work, interacting with coworkers and working together to achieve a common goal. Family is the reason you go to work. People too often get both conflated. You can leave a job for another, but family is family.

  • @23Jpro
    @23Jpro Рік тому +19

    Crazy. I am a new grad registered nurse and I was interviewing at a local hospital. One of the managers literally said what Marat said “Here, we’re like a family”. 🚩
    Funny enough, I felt something weird about it and declined the position. For sometime I felt some regrets about not giving it a chance, but now I’m glad I saw this video.

    • @leejay2418
      @leejay2418 Рік тому +2

      I agree. That's weird to hear. Glad you didn't take the job.

    • @HamadAlMutairi97
      @HamadAlMutairi97 Рік тому +2

      Should of taken the job and achieve your goals, not the work family concept.

    • @henryrogers5500
      @henryrogers5500 Рік тому +1

      While your point is a valid one, don't short change yourself. Even despite what you've described, sometimes you have to play the game or put on a "poker face" to get what you want. A paycheck! That said, if you accept a job like this and after some time passes by and you find that you are being mistreated or being taken advantage of you can always resign or get another job.

  • @plumiish
    @plumiish 3 роки тому +32

    Spot on, Marat! I've always found this idea to be so suspicious and phoney. It only serves to coerce you into docility and unhealthy dedication to your job. Dream team? Nope, I call that nightmare team. I agree with you on the open door theory. The last time I entered the door of my supervisor's office to air my concerns I've been (implicitly) shown the door. You've gained another subscriber. Keep it up! x

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +6

      I can definitely relate to your every word. Those are typical ways to manipulate your attitude, get the employee’s loyalty through a huge shortcut. Instead of actually prooving being a great place to work through tangible envidence, they try to quickly engage you through “being accepted into a family”. Setting boundaries and keeping it professional will prevent us from falling into the same trap!
      Thanks a lot for your feedback and hope to see you around often :)

  • @extraspicytigerroll
    @extraspicytigerroll 3 роки тому +28

    Just giving you an update: I just left my work place. The environment just got worse. And I couldn’t take it anymore. I have a plan and potential jobs lined up.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +4

      You've done the right thing! Things would continue to go downhill and you know it. So glad you are out of there, keep me updated on how the job hunt is going and if that potential job is working out!

    • @extraspicytigerroll
      @extraspicytigerroll 3 роки тому +2

      @@myemmotion I have landed a new job at my local hospital, and oh my goodness, the change in atmosphere is a complete 180 from my previous job! I am so happy I left. Because as soon as I did, the doors immediately opened for new opportunities. ✨

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +3

      @@extraspicytigerroll Wow! Those are brilliant news! :) I am so happy for you. It was indeed important to leave all the negativity behind and you've found a new role in a record time!
      Enjoy this new experience to the fullest and keep me posted on how things go! Congratulations again!

    • @extraspicytigerroll
      @extraspicytigerroll 3 роки тому +2

      @@myemmotion thank you so much! I already have an update! They are moving me from the front desk up to a referral specialist! 😃

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +2

      @@extraspicytigerroll You are totally rocking it and you just started! Haha.
      That's awesome! Hope you won't be a stranger and stop by around from time to time to give me an update :)

  • @roomofcybertron6380
    @roomofcybertron6380 Рік тому +20

    I hate it when Walmart keep advertising their hiring website by saying "WE ARE FAMILY". Walmart is one of the evil organization. They treat their employees worst.

    • @Patrickstarrrrr69
      @Patrickstarrrrr69 Рік тому +1

      Their drivers get paid decently from what I hear and have pretty low turnover compared to the industry average, but not sure what it’s like on the corporate side

    • @MrT-nh6di
      @MrT-nh6di 11 місяців тому

      Waltons are worth Billions, their workers will never live near them.

  • @dctr5534
    @dctr5534 9 місяців тому +2

    This is so true! The remarks "we are family" already left me questionable impressions when it was first told to me by my superior, like what are the chances my superior and coworkers (new and old) hold similar understanding of a family? And to my experience, the statement was merely a scapegoat to power tripping and bias or neglect. I could only wish that I should've left that job much earlier and never gave them the second chance and prevented the wastage of my time and resources. So younger ones who's about to enter the workplace, heed advices like this video, good luck to your quest.

  • @mariadromero313
    @mariadromero313 Рік тому +2

    So true Costco saying the same every day but is a big lie

  • @KECOG
    @KECOG 3 роки тому +35

    I would like to add that becoming emotionally attached to a workplace (Not necessarily the people there) is not good, either. I allowed myself to do that, and it led to several bad circumstances that ended up in my "cutting bait" as one person here on YT puts it. I had been making excuses for their behavior towards me, thinking because of my over 15 years there, that it was "only temporary". It wasn't . . . and I left after giving a 2 weeks' notice.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +5

      This is a very good point. The whole idea of cultivating this "family" mindset is for employees to become emotionally involved with their companies, which that can make us miss some great opportunities.
      You shouldn't be sorry though, you eventually managed to see them through and left. Take it as an awakening of some sort, it's going to lead you to something so much better.
      Thanks for sharing your story!

  • @NoHandleTexas
    @NoHandleTexas 2 роки тому +4

    100% correct. I just lived thru a “work family” nightmare.

  • @kentaroo.7759
    @kentaroo.7759 Рік тому +7

    I never believe my coworkers and my job as family. I'd never hanged out with any of them outside of work, no parties, no hangouts whatsoever.

  • @petersouthwell5971
    @petersouthwell5971 Рік тому +1

    agreed. Keep it short. be specific. Be friendly. Don't get personal.

  • @markstone7219
    @markstone7219 3 роки тому +8

    Your coworkers are not your family - indeed

  • @positivethinking4464
    @positivethinking4464 3 роки тому +9

    Loved this. I also want to add that family run companies usually have bad company culture.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +4

      That's true, especially those which've grown but haven't invested anything into structuring the company and its processes better.

    • @NelsonStJames
      @NelsonStJames Рік тому

      Yep, both for outsiders and for certain family co-workers.

  • @jorgeluisgallardogutierrez2584

    Well i had to work today, the BOSS wanted to invite us to a meal, i said no and he literally said that i don't give a damn about My job and i work more than 65 hours per week...

  • @MichaelTO1
    @MichaelTO1 Рік тому +1

    My wife got told about her boss that has 0 empathy and is intimidating that "That's just how she is." My wife had a bad experience at work that scared her and caused her some grief and when she brought it up to her toxic boss, she got dismissed since the boss already "took care of it." She went to the director of her department about the fact that she is intimidated by her boss and her boss displays no empathy, the director said "that's just how she is. You need to learn to be vulnerable with her and break her walls down." SO RIDICULOUS. She's looking for employment elsewhere. Thank you so much for these videos.

  • @stevenscott9983
    @stevenscott9983 4 місяці тому +1

    You hit it right on the head, I've gone through all of which you described. I was let go last year from my job for that reason a toxic environment. Now I'm starting an online business. I learned something about passive income so I not just jumping into it. Sometimes the best thing to do is plan your escape and leave when it's time.

  • @TheDoctor1225
    @TheDoctor1225 Рік тому +1

    I listened to this video after leaving a job (thankfully, during my probation period) in which I had gotten many of these same speeches prior to being hired. I spoke my mind to one of the nurses I worked with and suddenly was a pariah. People wouldn't talk to me or stopped talking when I entered the room. I got called to the manager's office because I had been reported as being "aggressive" or "combative" (translated as I had spoken directly, but not unkindly, and that's how it was presented to my manager). It was then that I realized that there was something not connecting with this whole "We're a family/speak your mind" line - and I found this video. Thank you, Marat. It's a mistake I won't make again.

  • @thedarkrocker333
    @thedarkrocker333 Рік тому +2

    There are other things just as bad as "We're a family". I worked for a place where my boss said things like "I appreciate you" "I want to see you grow" "I will always look for the very best for you" "Call me anytime, day or night, I'll answer" "You're valuable to our team". This all sounds real nice right? Well it was made real apparent real quick that there's a difference between saying this because you mean it, and saying it just because it sounds nice. And what usually dictates what there words are are the actions of your employer. In my place, these words were repeated so much and so often, it felt so dry and empty. Those phrases became so common that I legitimately did not notice them anymore.
    And whenever crap hit the fan, and calls had to be made, if there was anything that resulted in anything negative, it was never the employers or managements fault, it was always us, the ones on the bottom of the department. Items can't be found because of a new glitchy system? Our fault. A package was ruined because the recipient did not pick it up in time despite being given ample notice? Our fault. A problem has caused a major issue now despite employees constantly bringing it to the employer's and management's attention to which they chose to just ignore it to the point where they forget a problem even exists? Our fault. Oh but don't worry, "we appreciate you". Ridiculous.

  • @jackcarraway4707
    @jackcarraway4707 2 роки тому +2

    More corporations aren't much different than cults these days.

  • @tachyontee3877
    @tachyontee3877 Рік тому +1

    I also think employers saying we should be friends is a red flag. I'm currently leaving a job after a new director came in saying that. He said it two months ago, but he's already trying to get my coworkers fired. Yeah, I'm out.

  • @victortaylor7737
    @victortaylor7737 Рік тому +2

    You are right in 1 way by saying coworkers are not family.my minister used to say,get real sick or get in real deep trouble & you'll find out who ur true friends are,could be someone u barely know.

  • @hingreddiniz5835
    @hingreddiniz5835 Рік тому +2

    Absolutely correct heck no! Wanna know what I hate the most? IS HAVING MANAGEMENT AND COWORKERS ASK CONSTANTLY! ANY PLANS FOR THE WEEKEND? MIND YOUR BUSINESS LITERALLY!!!!

  • @robertbeckman2054
    @robertbeckman2054 Рік тому +2

    This perfectly explained my very first software job…small group of young employees, with a boss like the mafia: one of the developers was the boss’s main man, we were asked to go to lunch as a company every wednesday, stay late every Monday and Thursday until 10pm, LAN parties, email blasts about the employee not pulling their weight or who messed up, telling us “you’ll never get a good job of you quit”, etc. the longer you were with the company, the harder it was to leave the company. This was in 2004. I left out many other hard to believe things for the sake of time. I got out easy, as I wasn’t invited to the “meeting” after they informed that the office locks were changed and to take some time off and they would call me when it was time to come back. Impossible projects were asked of us with little knowledge and I spent many evening crying in the office bathroom thinking it was going to be this bad for my whole career. Thank you for the video. My last software job boasted of the “family environment” thing. I don’t do software anymore. I was drifting into madness…

  • @gregoryrogerino277
    @gregoryrogerino277 Рік тому +2

    Well said, as CEO or any supervisor you want to be respected and professional. Employees do not need another friend…it can be confusing… they need someone who understands their business issues, is objective, and respectful. Many times as an authority figure you have to implement unpopular policies or decisions. If you are respected, those unpopular issues will more readily be accepted. In families your decisions are often subjective and blurred by forgiving love. Not so in business

  • @sevy167
    @sevy167 Рік тому +3

    I’m in the military and I’m getting out bc i realized it’s one of the biggest cults in the world

    • @GenXMafia
      @GenXMafia Рік тому +2

      Because ever since the collapse of the Soviet Union service members are no longer serving their country. You are serving the military industrial complex. So if you’re ever sitting around feeling useless, always remember that the United States spent 20 years, trillions of dollars, thousands of American lives and 4 presidents to replace the Taliban in Afghanistan……with the Taliban. Now, if you want more fuel for wanting to quit the military watch any random TikTok video made by somebody younger than 40. That’s what you’re defending brother! That’s what you’re putting your life on the line for! I am a veteran of the US Army having served from 1987 to 1995. I got out just in the nick of time because it was starting to go downhill even back then.

  • @LinhNgo-on2tv
    @LinhNgo-on2tv Рік тому +1

    I am so glad you made this video. I am not guilt tripping into no extra pay.

  • @TacoMexxx
    @TacoMexxx 6 місяців тому +1

    I 1000% agree with this video and I absolutely hate that work family cult like concept.

  • @roifberthyijixuifuubgbv4cr655
    @roifberthyijixuifuubgbv4cr655 Рік тому +1

    We are all family here. Is the biggest gaslighting phrase to gain power and control. I was told that I was working at Big corporation I got injured I can only lift about 25 lb I did it for about 4 days the fifth day I was pretty much targeted and was told if you get hurt while doing light duty we are liable leave and don't come back until you're 100% better I stayed very cool and calm under the circumstances but realized that betrayal and the lies of the corporation not to mention the toxicity. People who are able to put up with that type of abusive environment no it's a lie but it's usually told to people who are new hires.

  • @MondoLeStraka
    @MondoLeStraka Рік тому +2

    Another great video! Also, I have tried to tell this to many people at one time and they didn't believe it.

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 Рік тому +1

    In my experience it means a manager w no professional training and he’s making it up as he goes. Work will be your family as you will never have time off to see yours. Run!

  • @SimonLacey-MySleekDesigns
    @SimonLacey-MySleekDesigns Рік тому +1

    Yea don't ever confuse the two. Work will fire you if you don't keep up with their demands.

  • @Ccc-pv9gd
    @Ccc-pv9gd 2 роки тому +3

    Exactly. No job is your family. Situation people are not our family in any way possible.

  • @chelseasmith9242
    @chelseasmith9242 8 місяців тому +1

    Any coworker or employer who feels the need to try to sell you that we're all friends here, we're all family here, beware and proceed with caution with these types of people if you are at a job that you can't just leave right away. These people are the very immature and very annoying to, as well as they are very needy and that's their own fault and problem and especially when it's a manager/employer doing that, they have no business being in any type of leadership position. It's not at all healthy or okay either.

  • @Ccc-pv9gd
    @Ccc-pv9gd 2 роки тому +4

    Loyalty does not go both ways. Either employer, higher ups, co workers.

  • @pebetsemothapo3038
    @pebetsemothapo3038 3 місяці тому

    Working for a family company and what he's saying is so true. Everything bad is swept under the rug and I hope an opportunity comes my way

  • @Sam-xc1mm
    @Sam-xc1mm Рік тому +4

    This channel is restoring my sanity. Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @albertpd4994
    @albertpd4994 3 роки тому +20

    If they bring we are family examples during job interviews you need to run

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому +3

      Yes. That's not a good sign.

    • @prettystar7210
      @prettystar7210 2 роки тому

      My current company HR said samething 🤣🤣🤣....,I need to be caution here

  • @Twinville2
    @Twinville2 Рік тому +1

    Wow! Thank you for this video! This is a very timely message for me, albeit after the fact, due to already accepting a job and then being fired from that same job 3 months later. I think I was realizing it was a toxic environment even though the CEO and my co-workers would say we are a family, and we need to accept what is dealt because we are a family. When everyone was told that raises would only be 25 cents last year because the company had to tighten it's belt, the CEO used the "we are family" so it needs to be accepted. Co-workers would say among each other that the CEO was toxic and a narcissist and was abusive, but they would end with saying that we are a family and we need to accept the bad with the good, just as families do. Wow...what a wake-up call after watching your video. I now feel sorry for those employees that have stayed there and a huge relief for me to be free from that kind of manipulation and stress every day.

  • @cesarbolet2181
    @cesarbolet2181 6 місяців тому +1

    Everyone is at work for his or her own interests, work is usually a necessary activity for most, not the place to go socialize and make friends. Some coworkers are jealous, recentful and envious, so they will throw you under a train if they can get away with it.

  • @kash1992ify
    @kash1992ify 3 роки тому +15

    Thank you for your insightful videos. Your videos have helped me immensely in my career right from preparing for interviews to office politics and dynamics.

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  3 роки тому

      You are so welcome, Kashmira. I am really glad that they've been a help and it's a feedback like yours that motivates me to keep making these videos.
      Hope the environment that surrounds you at work is healthy and positive, best of luck!

  • @anakealz
    @anakealz Рік тому +2

    You preach truth!

  • @Melva-Tjong
    @Melva-Tjong 2 роки тому +3

    You are definitely right. You hit the nail on the head. I have been fallen into this trap before so I understand your message completely. There is a one way street.

  • @MrT-nh6di
    @MrT-nh6di 11 місяців тому +2

    100% Approve this message, work is just checks and Balances.

  • @marioojeda6713
    @marioojeda6713 Рік тому +2

    Thanks Marat. So true . Painful. Learned the hard way. I trusted someone and it backfired. Not bitter…just smarter now. I realized, I have to be ethical, but have to look out for myself. Blessings.❤

  • @Obsidian12332
    @Obsidian12332 Рік тому +2

    This channel is pure gold. Very sobering advice.

  • @brianbeans2190
    @brianbeans2190 6 місяців тому

    I could've used this video 20 years ago. Good lord, did I learn all of this the hard way. Excellent video by the way.

  • @RickAP
    @RickAP Рік тому +1

    Many companies sell this general idea to potential hires. Headhunters that contact me repeatedly give this impression to me of the company they are representing. I don't work at any company thinking that they are anything more than a paycheck & same benefits. I'm cordial, helpful & kind, and that's where it begins & ends.

  • @nomadtheadventurer1096
    @nomadtheadventurer1096 Рік тому +1

    Yep, I would get texts on holidays, weekends, expecting acknowledgement and emotional support-dramas on text. Big mess.

  • @yazmeister93
    @yazmeister93 Рік тому +2

    Let’s just say that when they have no more use for you, you’re out

  • @haroldfridkis3536
    @haroldfridkis3536 2 роки тому +6

    Work family is like prison!

    • @myemmotion
      @myemmotion  2 роки тому +3

      It's like joining a cult where once you leave, they all turn their backs at you.

  • @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz
    @MarcosRodriguez-es4gz 3 роки тому +6

    Thanks for the eye opener!

  • @teejaylecapois9741
    @teejaylecapois9741 Рік тому +4

    Oh the misery. Everyone wants to be my enemy...

  • @jimellerman5686
    @jimellerman5686 Рік тому +1

    You really know what time it is! Good job buddy!

  • @bastiaan0741
    @bastiaan0741 Рік тому +1

    'We don't have a nine-to-five mentality and we are family' should swing both ways, yet it never does. Just like the 'low-paying job with growth possibility', it's all BS at best and a clutch do have you either work more or be payed less.

  • @Nayo68
    @Nayo68 7 місяців тому

    Imagine receiving information llike this during the onboarding course!!.....we would flip out with that much honesty from the HR team.
    😂

  • @henryrogers5500
    @henryrogers5500 Рік тому +2

    When I quit my job without giving any notice, during my "exit interview" that day, I told my manager that I didn't have any emotional attachment to this company, and he replied that this was a problem. At that moment, it became undoubtedly crystal clear to me that the environment I had been working in was worse than just clique-ish, it was cult-like. I am so glad I don't work there anymore! Sure, do your best to make your job relationships friendly and professional but always remember it's strictly business. Pay for services rendered and services rendered for pay.

  • @818boy
    @818boy Рік тому +2

    Co workers are just like any other stranger in the streets, nobody gives a crap about anyone, even so called friends outside of work would leave you laying on ground and walk over you, only your own blood will ever be there in bad times, and sometimes even that is sketchy especially when $ is involved, basically I don't trust anyone, except my son the only blood I have, and I definitely know he loves me the way I love him, but everyone else on the planet sucks because the world lacks empathy so FTW👍✌

  • @gabriel_luzz
    @gabriel_luzz 2 роки тому +2

    Mr. Marat, thank you so much for these videos. You're saving lives.

  • @arielperez797
    @arielperez797 10 місяців тому

    This is great and what i r been trying to tell my coworkers. I am friendly but i am not your friend.
    When coworkers think they are your friend....they stop acting professional and start behaving like kids. Ignoring their responsibility even. Distracted. It is awful.
    I for one know coworkers are not my friends. Lets get the job done and thats it. It is peaceful this way.
    Delete their numbers if they call you for anything not work related.

  • @TaxingIsThieving
    @TaxingIsThieving 2 роки тому +3

    The thing is my boss didn't say this but that's how they act, because it's a very small and literally family business (except for me) and it shows.

    • @TaxingIsThieving
      @TaxingIsThieving 10 місяців тому

      I'm actually scared that I wrote this a year ago.

  • @Lady-A000
    @Lady-A000 6 місяців тому +1

    Thank you Thank you for this.. I am in a place working for so long and they keep saying we are at work family and we are at work family. If I mean work family, why am I not seeing any changes in my career. I am still at the same place and people who came after me who are doing much better than me. It’s true they celebrate my birthdays and my special events in my life but my career. As you mentioned? Because of this I am here to tend to going to the leadership office and ask about how I feel or even for a race. Because I feel weird at work family, so should I really bring this up? Now after listening to your video, I feel like talking about this work family from my leadership really means for us to shut up and do your work? Thank you for making me think this way.

  • @ryanramkissoon1630
    @ryanramkissoon1630 Рік тому

    Well said. Thanks for sharing. Work family is common where i work and still they fight all day