Ty for posting these God brought me a video in the very beginning of discovery and it has helped me immensely understand things that I certainly was interpreting differently with those initial choices or lack there of God reminds me daily where does my hole come from so I love that you touched on that We can’t put our hope in others but pray that will be as freeing to others as is to me The dread is something that is like a heavy blanket every day for me it was fear of he will go back to her or someone else , comparison it the need to compete with her and recently the lord really gave me some revelation about that and then once again he brings me this particular video Thank you for all you do Know that these truly are life / marriage savers
I had nightmares, anxiety, and panic attacks. I was constantly in a state of fear and Insecurity. Total panic...constantly. I’ve never been through something so traumatic and I have to fight every day to keep the flooding and triggers under control. And sometimes I lose. I’ve go to counseling every two weeks and I’m on medication. I’m really starting to lose hope that my marriage will be recovered
i'm sorry Toni. sounds like you're struggling with something either close to ptsd or maybe ptsd, what do you think? have you received any care for that at all? i'm glad you're here and so sorry it's so painful for you.
Praying that you receive a miracle of either marital healing or the strength to survive otherwise. Lord, let this person find their stride through this, learning and growing, so whatever fate befalls their marriage, this person can find the strength of Your compassion and support.
The dread will be there. That always come with Sin, but my motto is forgive, don't become what you hate, and work your vows out, out of love for better or for worse!!!
It’s now been a little over a month since I found out my wife has been stepping out. I confronted her, calmly considering the anger I was drowning with. She seems to be trying but I feel she is confused and hasn’t really accepted the situation. We recently separated but continue to speak daily. I’m not stupid and strongly believe she hasn’t cut ties to the other person. I want to repair our lives she seems to want the same but feels cold and distant as well. I don’t know where to start and also how to get her to heal as well. Can you offer some advice for me to help draw her back and also for me to show that I’m ready to lead the way back to trust and forgiveness
It's been 3 years, so I hope you're in a much better place now. I'm only 4 months in, still living w/ my spouse and not at all sure what to expect. I vascillate between dread that there could be more, and little rays of hope that coming to the brink of a physical affair could be the catalyst that changes our relationship that was failing miserably for at least 4 yrs previously. What I would have said to you then, having just went through the disclosure, struggle sessions to get the disclosure, them sort of trying us again, is that that coldness and disconnect is just what you think it is. They haven't let go of the af yet. I went through that for a good 2 months after. Coldness, emotional detachment, he was trying to pick me, but like a robot going through the motions. I'd get enragingly gaslit that the phone calls, run ins, and even spending several hours w/ her at church were not continuing his affair. He would not admit for months that's really what he was doing. He does admit it now. I think she's been truly out of the picture for near 2 months. The main reason I know that is he's really focused on me now. The love, affection and tenderness is back. His concern for me first, it's now back. None of that was even close to there when he was holding on to her, and how could it be?!
It's been a year since he was unfaithful and I still live in an incredible amount of dread. I know I can't continue to do this to myself or even him. As much as I love him with all my heart, I have to love myself even more and let him go. I don't think I can ever truly heal being with him 😕
@@samshealingpodcast No I'm not getting any type of help with this. Besides praying about it and asking God to lift my anger and hurt. He was going to counseling for a few months but recently stopped.
you've got to get expert help my friend. go to affair recovery.com and take a look at our programs and courses: www.affairrecovery.com/programs-and-courses specifically, i'd recommend our ems weekend: www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend you need expert help from those who have gone through it before and understand the pain and hurt associated with infidelity as they have been through it themselves.
for the betrayed, you may be vulnerable and share your desire to save the marriage or be with them again and then the unfaithful knows that, and uses it against you to manipulate you into staying even though they may not make any changes, end the affair or stop acting out. for the unfaithful, they may share some abuse from their past or how they were molested or what not and in a fit of rage, the betrayed calls them names, uses the info against them and uses it for their own personal gain of shaming or manipulating the unfaithful. we have to be careful not to be vulnerable with those who are not safe and are not showing safety in the way they handle our personal and private information.
Ha! Ha! Ha! “. . going in the garage & breaking something”! My unfaithful husband has about 15 remote controlled planes that are just hanging around that could really use the expertise of my rage! A baseball bat comes to mind!😂🤣😂🤣
Ty for posting these
God brought me a video in the very beginning of discovery and it has helped me immensely understand things that I certainly was interpreting differently with those initial choices or lack there of
God reminds me daily where does my hole come from so I love that you touched on that
We can’t put our hope in others but pray that will be as freeing to others as is to me
The dread is something that is like a heavy blanket every day for me it was fear of he will go back to her or someone else , comparison it the need to compete with her and recently the lord really gave me some revelation about that and then once again he brings me this particular video
Thank you for all you do
Know that these truly are life / marriage savers
I had nightmares, anxiety, and panic attacks. I was constantly in a state of fear and Insecurity. Total panic...constantly. I’ve never been through something so traumatic and I have to fight every day to keep the flooding and triggers under control. And sometimes I lose. I’ve go to counseling every two weeks and I’m on medication. I’m really starting to lose hope that my marriage will be recovered
i'm sorry Toni. sounds like you're struggling with something either close to ptsd or maybe ptsd, what do you think? have you received any care for that at all? i'm glad you're here and so sorry it's so painful for you.
Praying that you receive a miracle of either marital healing or the strength to survive otherwise. Lord, let this person find their stride through this, learning and growing, so whatever fate befalls their marriage, this person can find the strength of Your compassion and support.
The dread will be there. That always come with Sin, but my motto is forgive, don't become what you hate, and work your vows out, out of love for better or for worse!!!
Thank you for the videos, Samuel. Your videos have been a source of light in my life.
i'm so glad. thank you for watching and commenting. makes it all worth it when i receive comments like yours.
Overcoming Infidelity 2 months since d day. 11 disclosures, 3 APs finally went in and got anxiety meds. Dread is my constant, unwanted companion
It’s now been a little over a month since I found out my wife has been stepping out. I confronted her, calmly considering the anger I was drowning with. She seems to be trying but I feel she is confused and hasn’t really accepted the situation. We recently separated but continue to speak daily. I’m not stupid and strongly believe she hasn’t cut ties to the other person. I want to repair our lives she seems to want the same but feels cold and distant as well. I don’t know where to start and also how to get her to heal as well. Can you offer some advice for me to help draw her back and also for me to show that I’m ready to lead the way back to trust and forgiveness
It's been 3 years, so I hope you're in a much better place now. I'm only 4 months in, still living w/ my spouse and not at all sure what to expect. I vascillate between dread that there could be more, and little rays of hope that coming to the brink of a physical affair could be the catalyst that changes our relationship that was failing miserably for at least 4 yrs previously.
What I would have said to you then, having just went through the disclosure, struggle sessions to get the disclosure, them sort of trying us again, is that that coldness and disconnect is just what you think it is. They haven't let go of the af yet. I went through that for a good 2 months after. Coldness, emotional detachment, he was trying to pick me, but like a robot going through the motions. I'd get enragingly gaslit that the phone calls, run ins, and even spending several hours w/ her at church were not continuing his affair. He would not admit for months that's really what he was doing. He does admit it now. I think she's been truly out of the picture for near 2 months. The main reason I know that is he's really focused on me now. The love, affection and tenderness is back. His concern for me first, it's now back. None of that was even close to there when he was holding on to her, and how could it be?!
I have a dread of New Year’s Eve it’s horrifying what if there’s no next year!!!
It's been a year since he was unfaithful and I still live in an incredible amount of dread. I know I can't continue to do this to myself or even him. As much as I love him with all my heart, I have to love myself even more and let him go. I don't think I can ever truly heal being with him 😕
are you getting help anywhere? what sort of recovery work are you doing?
@@samshealingpodcast No I'm not getting any type of help with this. Besides praying about it and asking God to lift my anger and hurt. He was going to counseling for a few months but recently stopped.
you've got to get expert help my friend. go to affair recovery.com and take a look at our programs and courses: www.affairrecovery.com/programs-and-courses specifically, i'd recommend our ems weekend: www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend you need expert help from those who have gone through it before and understand the pain and hurt associated with infidelity as they have been through it themselves.
@@samshealingpodcast Thank you will do 🙏
Can you explain how your vulnerability can be taken advantage of.
for the betrayed, you may be vulnerable and share your desire to save the marriage or be with them again and then the unfaithful knows that, and uses it against you to manipulate you into staying even though they may not make any changes, end the affair or stop acting out. for the unfaithful, they may share some abuse from their past or how they were molested or what not and in a fit of rage, the betrayed calls them names, uses the info against them and uses it for their own personal gain of shaming or manipulating the unfaithful. we have to be careful not to be vulnerable with those who are not safe and are not showing safety in the way they handle our personal and private information.
Ha! Ha! Ha! “. . going in the garage & breaking something”! My unfaithful husband has about 15 remote controlled planes that are just hanging around that could really use the expertise of my rage! A baseball bat comes to mind!😂🤣😂🤣
I feel you Terry... I want to bust ALL the windows out of my Unfaithful car....roll up to her house in that!!!
Being a betrayed i lived by a motto i mentored youth in our church home. "Don't become what you hate" Forgiveness is the only answer!!!
I live with dread everyday since mu wifes affair