Madame Web Review + Rant
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- Опубліковано 14 лют 2024
- #madameweb Madame Web Review + Rant! I refuse to believe human beings made this movie. Spoiler Review included! 🎃 Join us on Patreon so we can make more content and get the WWAM up in everybody MICHAEL!!!! / wewatchedamovie
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The three Spider-Women don't even get their powers or their costumes. The trailers made you believe that the three girls were going to get their powers, their costumes, and kick the bad guy, but nope, they spend the entire movie running, they don't get their powers, and Madam Web kills the villain with a letter in a Pepsi sign. You see their costumes for literally one minute in a vision; they don't actually get their powers.
I love the part where norman Osborn shows up and says "it's goblin time " 💀😂
Gorblin time!
It’s webbin time
Wait til Kraven comes out and kills someone. And says "That's so Kraven."
I could see the lady that directed this getting handed a fucking Star Wars project in the future 🙄
Honestly you're not wrong lol
“He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died” HAS to be the best line of all time lol
I heard the line wasn't in the movie.
@@DarkPhoenixSaga It isn't, but her mom was with him researching spiders in the Amazon right before she died, so that's true.
@@delugesofgrandeur lmao
I bet you Dakota Johnson thought this was a mainline Marvel movie and agreed to do it on that assumption.
Whatever the case she fired her agents afterwards lol
That's literally what happened. She even still thought she was part of "the MCU" even in SNL. She doesn't understand any of this, at all.
@@MarvinPowell1 her cluelessness is adorable because you legit can't tell if she's fucking with you or not.
Mike... From Night Swim to this... I'm starting to feel concerned for your mental health 😂😂
I'm Mel Gibson running around the side of the house screaming "its time for an ass whooping!" in Signs
@@WeWatchedAMovie I'd say Night Swim had you like Mel Gibson from Lethal Weapon... "Fine - you really wanna jump? I wanna jump! Let's jump!" So if this puts you at Mel Gibson from Signs... I'd say that's progress 😂😂
Night swim was actually entertaining at least. The most generic movie I’ve ever seen, but this is not as bad as these movies
THANK YOU FOR SAYING YOUR PIECE INSTEAD OF GIVING THE STUDIO A PASS. 👀
This is straight up Hot Garbage
Reminds me of Halley Berry 2000 cat woman movie!!
I do not think it is THAT horrible, but it comes pretty close, which says a lot about Sony. Also, if this movie fucking sucked this bad, imagine el muerto............
Mike takin bullets so we dont have to
its my honor pal lol
Morbius you say? Well buckle up, buttercup.
A minute in and I already love the "I don't think you can spoil anything in this movie" 🤣. I refuse to see this film lol. I have a lot of things I'd rather be doing with a couple of hours of my time. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this!
Thanks dude! Its good for a laugh thats for sure!
This could possibly sweep next year's Razzies
100%
I’m dying. 😂 Madame Web may be this generation’s ‘Showgirls.’
lmao that's honest marketing "The Showgirls of the Spider-Man Universe"
At least Showgirls had tits and erotica, this movie has nothing.
😂 Absolutely frightening
Wow. Perfect reference.
@@WeWatchedAMoviesounds like a title of a movie on the spice channel from the 90’s.
Times like this I miss Stuckmann’s Hilariosity Reviews. 😢
I came here after watching stuckman not tell us it sucked for 16 min.
Stockman is a pretensious prick
16:06 it’s the way you come up with these comparisons off the cuff lmao - and the uncontrollable laughter is hilarious
This could’ve been a billion dollar movie if they simply had Sydney Sweeney in a skimpy Spider-suit for most of the film.
Dude! For real. So fucking hot
True. But then that would piss of the wokies. Hollywood values ideology over money now apparently.
This is a fair and accurate statement.
Tight suit, boob window. Easy money😂
I’d love it if it was Emma Roberts tbh
One of the funniest, and most chaotic reviews/rants ever 🤣 I love it! Mike kills it at these reviews, lol! He's so funny 😂
I just don’t get it.
The Spider mythology is fascinating in the comics.
And in the comics, the characters featured in this movie (Web, Ezekiel, the Spider-Women) are cool in their own right.
…But they’re all designed to bounce off of, you know, *SPIDER-MAN.*
It's more "they'll lick up any shit we sell em" mentality from the studios.
Yea because the problem is the "Man" part in Spider-Man.
I love how passionate you about this review. By the sounds of it, this is more passion given than anyone in the whole movie ever gives.🍿 🎥
Best review ever. You had me laughing my ass off, and I’m sure this review is infinitely better than the movie itself. Also, before you mentioned allergies, I was basically looking and saying to myself, “Oh shit, this movie is so bad, the number of times he’s laughing at it has him tearing up.” 😂
Same thought about the laughter
Like J said, they need to stop making movies about secondary background characters! Can't wait for "Alfred the Movie" to come out!
They did try a TV show about him....
Dude you have me cracking up. 😂 I saw this trailer when me and my dad went to go see the beekeeper and we didn’t think it looked good anyway so thanks for the proof
thank you!
this is my first time watching your channel, and your mannerisms and delivery is the best thing ive discovered for myself this year😂
*instantly subscribes*
Years go by and your videos still cause so much laughter and joy! Your voiceover to bag head jason running was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen! 😂😂
Looks like my friends and i are going to get drunk as hell at our theater. Then watch the greatest comedy ever made. Thanks mike
enjoy my good man!
People who don't watch your reviews are missing OUT, big time. You never disappoint. 🤣
His back must hurt carrying it all.
my mate got bitten by a spider he didn't get super powers but sepsis had to have both legs amputated and can only get around by crawling we call him sliderman
0:57. "I'll be full frontal male nudity honest."
That's a new one (new to me at least), I might have to steal that line😏.
I had a few mad at my post about how bad this movie is. Glad you agree that it's horrible. I watched The Room & Samurai Cop to be amused by something afterwards.
I'm perplexed how anyone could say this is good ever
@@WeWatchedAMovie this movie to me is like if The Asylum managed to produce a movie in the MCU. I walked out of this movie feeling like the "God have mercy on your soul" guy after Billy Madison gave his speech
What a wonderful time to be alive...
You have to keep one eye on a timer to say what you really want.
Much love.
MaDamn Web!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
lmao
It's Madamnin time 😂
@@kenXtripleI 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The movie takes place in 2003. Any one that got on a plane in 2003... 2 years after 911, will tell you. She wouldn't have gotten on a plane without being arrested for kidnapping.
The review I've been waiting for all day.
hey thanks!
You have me sold on seeing this. I love a good unintentional comedy.
Hilarious review! I laughed so much 😂 keep it up! ❤
I have no desire to go see it but I heard Morbius was better from a friend who did see it and that's saying a lot 😂
Sheesh I may have to buckle and watch Morbius for the sheer insanity of it all
At least Batman & Robin (‘97) had a charismatic Arnold saying horrible lines, this film just takes me back to early ‘00s superhero films
I accidently stumbled upon this channel and this review. I just laughed my ass off 😂 Subbed! 🙏
“A goose!” 😂🤣 (If you know you know, lol)
Hey! I found your channel a few weeks ago because I wasnt sure wether to watch Night Swim or not (In the end I didnt and I think that was a good decision) and I just wanted to say I love your movie rant videos. They are perfect to listen to in the background while I am playing a videogame. Keep up the good work!
K y s n
Agreed. He’s great at these styled videos
A.I. is making these movies, I swear.
Mike, where did you get sweater at
Vans!
How do these movies keep getting funded? Someone pays to make the movie, right? Someone approves the script, right? Someone hires the actors, right? Someone sees the rough cuts, right? Dailies? Anything? How do these movies keep getting green-lit?
I'd not heard about this one, but I honestly didn't realize until near the end of this video that this was about a superhero movie. I thought you were discussing a low-budget horror film about spider people...this had money behind it? It sounded more like Kill Her Goats, but with one name actor in it. Wow.
directed by Chris Stuckman.
Damn 😂
Your describing of it was very similar to how I described it to my coworker. There were times when I stopped to cringe because I still couldn't believe it.
Was going to go see this for the slim chance at catching Sidney Sweeneys warlocks again. Alas I’ll wait for her horror movie next month 😂
Only time I’ll watch this is if I’m absolutely thrashed with other people, thank you for your service Mike !
Thanks dude! We'll all watch it together on the patreon at some point
I loved the part in which the villain is defeated by Pepsi
The trailer was already one of the worst and most incoherent I've ever seen. I really didn't expect anything after that. Of course the will be some who claim again that people don't like it because of the female cast. No! The cast is fine, but a fine cast can't save bad direction, a terrible script and bad editing.
oh yeah it ain't the female cast one bit lol this was bad from the ground to the sky
That's Uncle Ben Parker to you!
Why is he petes mom's bro now instead of his dad's bro
Mike, in order to beat your SAW trap you have to watch either this or night swim, what ya pickin?
How could they think this movie would make money. So stupid
Mad-dame web would have looked better wearing a Vision Pro headset at the end than those red glasses.
Can you please review The Crow reboot trailer when it drops!! Interested to hear your thoughts on Skarsgard's portrayal.
1000% and well be talking about it in the livestream tonight too
Excellent! To say I am disappointed in the images is an understatement.
Your review made me buy tickets for this weekend 😂😂😂😂😂
i heard this movie that makes Morbius look like The Dark Knight
I absolutely LOVE your style. Youre so funny!
Thank you so much!
I have an idea maybe on the voice desync issue there may be a unrated version where it is the bad guy saying all kinds of cuss words that was cut out of the movie.
The Spider-girls in the movie are characters from the comics who are Spider-Man variants and their costumes are accurate from the comics but with some minor differences. The villains costume is cool though and the villain Ezekiel is a Spider-Man villain from the comics. One thing that is accurate is that Madame Web is blind like in the comics.
I think the movie is set in 2003 and not the 90s. Also Isabela Merced who is one of the Spider-girls is playing Hawkgirl in Superman: Legacy. There is no post credit scenes in the movie so you did not miss much. Also the memes for the movie is gonna be great when it hits the internet.
I know that Adam Scott and Emma Robert's are supposed to play Mr and Mrs Parker and I remember hearing rumors about that.
I'm so happy I decided not to go see this movie, 1 because I knew down in my nether regions it was going to be bad and 2 it was so funny and awesome watching you explain this movie to me. You made my day dude! 👊
Thanks so much Frank!
at one point i was reading my popcorn bucket because i didnt care about what was happening.
Are you saying this movie is worse than even Night Swim ? , because you ranted like hell on that movie Mike 😂
It truly is roderick. It truly is!
@@WeWatchedAMovie oh Jesus this is a special kind of bad then lol
From now on whenever I think something is lame Im gonna call it "Walmart air"😂
Describing something as " hot dog water " shitty is my favorite way to emphasize how terrible it is.
The Dane Cook reference. *stands for applause*
We need a mike and J drunk commentary
I’m lowering my expectations as much as I can so I can somehow go thru the whole movie. I hope I kind of enjoy it in some way.
Thanks for a great review.
This will become a cult classic like The Happening
Markie Mark: Nooo. Nooo. 🫨
Madame Webb movie : you know, im something of a movie myself 😅😅
Dakota Johnson fired her agent the very day the trailer dropped. Now if that wasn't pointing to her knowing this movie would bomb harder than the Enola Gay, I don't know what would be. 😁
Gonna sweep them razzies. Love the rant!
Best line... "We have no standards as a society." 😂😂😂😂😂 Game Over Man....Fuckin Game Over
This is our children’s generations version of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room
I can't even count how many times I have choked on my drink watching this xD
This is pure comedy bro. Lol great rant
When the 1st trailer came out I said I couldn't wait to see it on FB and ppl argued with me...I'm eating so much crow today
Happens to the best of us my good man!
Never heard of this movie & after hearing this rant, I'm kinda glad! Lol
I took my 13-year-old son, and we laughed and laughed the whole time. It was one of the (best) worst movies I have ever seen. Hilarious, nonsensical movie. My son said, "So did she drive that stolen cab to the Amazon from NYC in 30 seconds, right? They aren't even trying to make a movie. Guess that is what happens when you have Chat GTP write your movie."
Great review Mike! Comic book movies have now become a parody of themselves lol.
Thank you!
I'm 15 minutes in, and I am laughing so hard right now. 😂😂😂😂😂
Have you guys seen the trailer for Late Night with The Devil???
No.
I have a strong feeling thay your review of Madame Web is way better than the actual movie.
S. J. Clarkson is the director and it's her first movie.
This review has convinced me to go and see this film that I previously had no interest in!!!
haha enjoy
Oh God mike I'm so sorry you had to see this, I wish you didn't
I honestly enjoyed myself lol
Sorry for ruining my fun in live stream
1. Wouldn't Ezekiel Sims instantly be a suspect if he was the only one to return from his expedition team of well known researchers and scientists?
2. Wouldn't they be able to breed the spiders and make enough for everyone? Or at least, clone them?
3. How did baby Cassie leave the Peruvian jungle?
4. Did Spider Jesus escort Cassie all the way back home?
5. Did Spider Jesus know Cassie's mother or where she lived or who to take baby Cassie to?
6. Shouldn't Cassie a Peruvian citizen by birth and shouldn't even have US citizenship?
7. How does Cassie have legal documents to live and work in the US?
8. Who raised Cassie?
9. Why did Cassie choose to be an EMT, especially if she's anti-social and introverted?
10. What did Ezekiel do with the spider he stole?
11. How did Ezekiel become rich and powerful?
12. How old is Ezekiel supposed to be? (Assuming he was maybe 25 in 1973; he'd be 55 in 2003 and maybe 60-65 by the time the Spider-Woman trio execute him. He never looks remotely that old.)
13. Why hasn't he harnessed the spider power to himself after THIRTY years?
14. Why hasn't he mastered his spider powers after THIRTY years? (Even Peter Parker didn't get to be Spider-Man for that long.)
15. Why is he evil even before the reoccurring nightmares?
16. Why did he need to execute the NSA lady? (Couldn't he have just use/kidnap her instead of the lady he hired?)
17. Why is NSA lady even carrying all of her work equipment to a night at the theater?
18. According to women, their purses are empty for things they aren't going to use that night, so why was NSA lady even carrying all that stuff with her AFTER work?
19. Why wouldn't Ezekiel just hiring a sketch artist and private detective to find the girls (especially since he's rich?)
20. How does CCP-level city-wide surveillance technology exist in 2003? (That doesn't even exist in real life 2023.)
21. If he has some psychic powers, why couldn't the movie just have it to where after he sees the girls in real-life the first time (by say, hiring a detective or just tracking them down themselves) he can find them himself using psychic powers? Wouldn't that also be scarier instead of surveillance technology?
22. Why couldn't Ezekiel just try to talk to the girls? Or try to persuade them to work for him? Especially since he's rich and could easily hire them as employees or adopt them, thereby changing his future?
23. Why DOES he think the dream is an actual vision of the future, anyway? People have reoccurring nightmares all the time; it doesn't mean people thin they're visions of the future.
24. Why would Cassie get into a dangerous crashed car to save someone? Isn't the main rule of EMTs and paramedics "safety first?"
25. How does Cassie get into multiple accidents in this movie as an EMT? How bad is she at her job?
26. Wouldn't her falling into the river in that car have killed her?
27. How did Ben Parker even get her out of such a situation?
28. The first times Cassie starts getting visions, why WOULDN'T she try to save her EMT friend played by Mike Epps? Even if it's wrong, it's better to be safe than sorry.
29. How the hell did that truck crash into Mike Epps, to begin with? It came from the closed off road that the fire was that caused Cassie and everyone else to arrive at the scene.
30. If all three girls are linked to Cassie's life (Cassie saved Julia's stepmother, and Anya is her neighbor) why does Mattie (the rebellious black girl) have such a flimsy link to her as "saw her on the street one time?" Couldn't they have made Mattie Mike Epps' niece or neighbor or something?
31. Why are there like, four or five different demonstrations of how her future sight works? Wouldn't two be enough for the audience to get it?
32. The pigeon-saving scene is fine, but why repeat that same demonstration in the train with the girls? That's like the fifth time Cassie gets confused about the future visions by this point in the movie.
33. Why would the police immediately believe a well-dressed, middle-class white woman would be kidnapping three girls at noon in New York City in broad daylight? They try to arrest Cassie without even asking any questions and immediately believe Julia saying Cassie is a kidnapper without assuming it's a prank or lie.
34. There were no eyewitnesses or reports of a kidnapping, and no one knows Cassie is with the girls, so how did this become such major news? Especially in New York City of all places? Especially with three middle-class, non-rich, non-important, everyday New York girls?
35. If Cassie is suspected of kidnapping, why wouldn't she immediately go to the police to try to clear her name? Especially since she knows she's innocent and they can better protect the girls.
36. Assuming all of the previous info got in the way of the plot, why couldn't the movie just write in a future vision of Ezekiel finding the girls at the police station and executing them there, along with several innocent police officers? That would give them a better explanation on why Cassie never goes to the police station.
37. Why AREN'T the police searching for Cassie? They could easily find out her home and workplace given her occupation as a civil servant.
38. How is Cassie able to return home while suspected of kidnapping, let alone LEAVE THE COUNTRY FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK?! Especially in post-911 New York City in 2003?
39. At any point, why doesn't Cassie or any of the girls call 911 to insure the police they aren't kidnapped and don't need the police searching for them? That would at least explain why the police aren't searching for them.
40. Why would Cassie leave the three girls in the middle of the woods after just narrowing escaping a superhuman kidnapper trying to execute them? Especially not giving them her cell phone number or home address or any way to contact her.
41. Why would the three teenage girls trust Cassie to leave them out in the woods for four to six hours alone? Or for Cassie to assume three teenage girls would just stay put out there? Especially with no food or water.
42. Why couldn't Cassie just take the girls back with her to her house? Why did she need to leave them alone at all? (Especially since apparently no police are looking for her.)
43. Why would Cassie not think the girls would be safer with her, since she can predict the future now?
44. Why would Cassie be so callous as to ditch the girls to begin with, when she is an EMT and it's LITERALLY her job to save people for a living? No decent EMT would pawn off people in danger when they're the only ones who can help them.
45. Why does no one ever thinks to call Cassie's 2003 cell phone or ask her what happened and why she is on the news for kidnapping? Not even Ben Parker or the police?
46. Why couldn't one of the teenage girls go to the diner alone and order three meals to-go, instead of all three going and risk missing Cassie return or having Ezekiel find them? (And being dumb teenagers is no excuse; self-preservation would kick-in, here.)
47. Why do the girls feel the need to dance on tables while knowing someone is trying to track them down and execute them?
48. One of the writers said she set the movie in 2003 just as an excuse to use Britney Spears' "Toxic" in the movie, for the diner and the Cassie taxi scene; doesn't she know that you can use a song at anytime after it's release and that it doesn't have to be in the year it was released?
49. How come the writer didn't know Britney Spears "Toxic" didn't become a radio single until January 2004? The song is used on the diner radio in the movie. Meaning the writer was too dumb to even learn when the song ACTUALLY came out and only went by when Spears' album released, rather than the actual single. In other words, the movie is set in the wrong year and should've been in Spring 2004 (like, March) if they wanted an excuse to use Toxic on the radio.
50. How are the girls on the newspaper in what must have happened in the course of about nine hours, at the most. (The train incident happens between 12-3pm and it's 8-9pm by the time they're at the diner.) Newspapers don't work that way, let alone get distributed that quickly during the middle of the day.
51. How does the newspaper have pictures of them on the front? If it's from surveillance footage, why wouldn't that have been used to find the girls by now?
52. Broadcast news was still a thing in 2003. Why couldn't they have just had a TV playing the report of the girls missing, instead of the newspaper? Newspapers were in heavy decline even in 2003. If it were to show off the Daily Bugle, they still could've used it as a news program or cable news channel.
53. Why would anyone at the redneck diner even care about the three girls missing? Especially if their supposed-kidnapper, Cassie, isn't even with them? Especially if the girls are dancing on a table and don't look like they're in danger or kidnapped.
54. How does Ezekiel's network now suddenly have the power to intercept and cancel out 911 dispatch calls? That was literally ever established until now; it was only supposed to be a CCTV network.
55. Why wouldn't other police have heard the 911 call? Wouldn't a real dispatcher have heard the call first before Ezekiel could pretend to be an officer? Why would the dispatcher just trust some random voice pretending to be a police officer on the other end without following up or telling others at their station the update on the missing girls?
56. Cassie beats Ezekiel with a cab plowing through the diner; why wouldn't Ezekiel be nimble enough to dodge the cab?
57. What ARE the extent of Ezekiel's powers? Does he have Spidey Sense or not? Is he as strong as Peter Parker or weaker? Is a cab enough to hurt him (but not as much as a normal man) or is he strong enough to walk it off like the real Spider-Man would?
58. Even in a rush, why would Cassie risk hurting innocent people AND drawing more attention to herself by crashing a cab INTO THE DINER?
59. Why would Cassie take three supposedly kidnapped girls to a motel? If Cassie was male and going with three teenage girls to a hotel, this would be super inappropriate.
60. How does Ezekiel's spider poison Cassie got into her arm from Ezekiel not really play a part in the movie? Shouldn't there have been someone there to make sure the continuity is consistent in the script so that she'd be in pain from there on out due to the poison?
61. Speaking of which, if the spiders can heal people of any illness, how does Ezekiel develop poison? Are the spiders also poisonous? That wouldn't make sense. If they aren't, why does he now have spider poison powers?
62. ALSO, how do the spiders give people different abilities? Ezekiel and the Peruvian tribe all have discount Spider-Man powers, but Cassie can see the future. Does it differ by gender? If a baby gets powers through her mom via utero, does that develop into future sight?
63. Why aren't there any female characters with these discount Spider-Man powers? Shouldn't Cassie have gotten at least SOME of those powers as a baby, making her stronger and faster than the average human woman?
64. In the near future, the three Spider-women all have different powers (magic web powers, advanced technology, and mechanical spider-arms.) How did they get their powers? Were the Peruvian spiders involved? If so, why are all their powers different?
65. How does CPR help against an immunotoxin? Doing CPR won't get rid of the poison or anything; Cassie is still poisoned.
66. As asked before, HOW is Cassie able to leave the country for a week while being a wanted fugitive and kidnapper in post-911 2003 New York? How are her passports and documents cleared for international travel?
67. WHY would Cassie leave the country for an entire week after Ezekiel has come after the girls TWICE now and almost executed them TWICE now?
68. Why wouldn't Cassie just go online or use information from her mother's journal to contact the Spider Jesus guy to get answers about her past? There was no reason she had to leave New York, not that she would be able to being wanted by the police.
69. Why does Cassie leave the girls with Ben and Ben's 9-month pregnant sister?
70. How is Ben not concerned about Cassie being a "kidnapper" of three girls? Why does he never ask any questions about them?
71. How is Cassie reckless enough to leave the girls with Ben and Ben's pregnant sister, who Ezekiel could risk finding and also executing?
72. How does Cassie leave the girls FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK without worrying about their safety? All the previous events in the movie prior to that happened in less than twelve hours. Now she'll be gone for SEVEN DAYS?!
73. Why did it need to be a week anyway? Doing the math, it would take 16 hours for a round trip flight from New York to Peru, and Cassie could sleep on the flight. Assuming she knew the exact coordinates to go to from her mother's journal, it would take maybe four hours total for her to hike into the jungle from Lima and back. And the events with Spider Jesus could have lasted just four hours, at the most. All of Cassie's trip to Peru could've been done in 24 hours; not that she should've ever been able to leave the country to begin with.
74. Why couldn't Cassie just take the girls with her to Peru? Especially knowing Ezekiel is after them in New York and none of them have any real family.
75. Why couldn't Cassie just STAY IN PERU with the girls? Why even need to go back to New York? Especially if the Spider People could help protect the girls better than Cassie.
76. When Cassie is Peru, wouldn't Spider Jesus have helped cure her of her poison?
77. Why couldn't the girls have gotten their spider powers here in the Spider Jungle? Why couldn't Spider Jesus have healed Cassie, then given the girls "the strength to fight back," resulting in Ezekiel's self-fulfilling prophecy coming true and Ezekiel being the one to indirectly create the Spider Girls?
78. Why couldn't Spider Jesus have just given Cassie one of their rare spiders at least, so she can develop superhuman spider powers and stand a chance to stop Ezekiel?
79. Why does Spider Jesus need to do the whole well thing to explain her mother? Couldn't he have just told her? Explained the truth about her mother? They even could've done this with some kind of "Spider mind sharing technique." Hell, Ezekiel and Cassie did this EARLIER in the movie! Why couldn't Spider Jesus and Cassie share thoughts here? Why did it have to be this lame time-travel/flashback experience?
80. When Mary Parker's water breaks, why couldn't Ben have just left the three girls at home, where they'll be safe?
81. Isn't having to worry about a pregnant sister and three teenage girls you barely know worse than just having to worry about your pregnant sister?
82. Why are they all using the same cab Cassie stole a week ago, at this point?
83. How has no one noticed a stolen cab with no license plates parked outside a Brooklyn/Queens house, at this point?
84. How has NO POLICE questioned Ben or Mary about the whereabouts of Cassie Webb after NEARLY A WEEK at this point?
85. How have the girls, or at least Ben, not told the police that they aren't kidnapped and are safe right now, so no one needs to worry about them?
86. Not all three of the girls are orphans, so how has Julia's step-parents not even called her, yet?
87. Why couldn't the third act have been Cassie and the newly powered Spider-Girls (sans costumes) coming back to confront Ezekiel before he kidnaps Ben and Mary Parker and use them as bait to draw out Cassie and the girls, in an epic final showdown? They could've even had it so Ezekiel initially wins the fight, but Cassie uses her clairvoyance to change the outcome so that the girls win.
88. Why is the final act set in a Pepsi fireworks factory?
89. Why is the same fireworks factory from earlier in the movie with Cassie's workplace death, still filled with dangerous fireworks?
90. Why do Pepsi own a warehouse full of fireworks?
91. Is this movie supposed to be near the Fourth of July? Is this set in June 2003? (It's not, cause of the Britney Spears Toxic reference, and that album came out November 2003, but the song came out a radio single in January 2004, anyway.)
92. Why couldn't Cassie have now used her unlocked future sight to lure Ezekiel into a trap during the fireworks scene? It SEEMS like that's what happens in the movie, but the sign falling on Ezekiel wasn't actually planned by Cassie; Cassie's plan was to escape in a paramedic helicopter and she never had plans to execute Ezekiel.
93. How does Ezekiel survive several full-speed vehicle collisions with superhuman strength but gets offed by a Pepsi sign's S? And again, shouldn't be agile enough to avoid the sign or land on the ground on his feet? Again, what are the limitations of his powers here?!
94. Cassie gets blinded by fireworks hitting her in the face while underwater, but how is her face unharmed except the fireworks blinding her? No burns, no scratches, or anything?
95. How did she get paralyzed exactly? Was it Ezekiel's spider poison? Did she injure her spine in the warehouse scene? Was it the firework that hit her? They never make it clear what specifically paralyzed her.
96. How did Cassie clear her name? Since she never told the police the truth of what happened. Regardless of all that, how are her two carjacking and several property damage charges dropped? Cassie caused a lot of damage and stole several cars in addition to what police thinks is a kidnapping of three girls.
97. Why did Cassie's personality completely change after her accident to where she's now acting like a wise old eccentric woman? How did this character turn into comic book Madame Web overnight?
98. What happened to the woman Ezekiel forced to control his surveillance system? Is she free now, or is she also evil like Ezekiel and out for revenge?
99. If Cassie can now fully see the future, does this mean she will do nothing to save Peter Parker's mother, or Uncle Ben once Peter is a teenager?
Final Question. Why does this movie even exist?
Your cupcake analogy from walmart tells me you've been wronged. I have too my guy.... i have too. 😪
Why is Sony making these movies ??
Have you play mortal Kombat 1 and marvel Spider-Man 2 robocop rogue city
Is it the room bad?
The evil spiderman has no webs, so everything he does looks silly because all he can do is jump. He has to get a car to follow them at some point because he can't swing since He has no webs 🤣🤣🤣
Peter can run faster than a car so why couldn't he just you know, run after em
@@danielmillward9947 well he doesnt he drives and jumps
A man this review was so funny it almost wants to make me watch it in person just to get a good laugh😂
Thank you and you will get some good laughs out of it there's no doubt about that!
Even Sydney Sweeney and Dakota Johnson’s beauty couldn’t save this doodoo diaper. I finally watched this film last night. Night Swim Imaginary and Madame Web 2024 is off to a terrible start. But least Madame Web is so bad it’s actually funny.
I feel like sony knows nobody cares about a spiderverse without a spiderman and they are determined to make a sinister six movie are just spitting out crap to introduce the 6 until they get the rights back from the mcu for spiderman
So you're saying SJ Clarkson isn't the next Spielberg ?
This has a 3.8 on IMDB... And it just came out. Holy shit😂😂😂
I watched a couple Madame Web reviews and I'm convinced it's a comedy. 😂
Apparently this movie exists because someone told Sony to “Tell me comic book movies are at an all-time low without telling me comic book movies are at an all-time low.”🤣
This is what happens when you get Wish and AI to make a movie
I couldn’t even finish the trailer when it came out, sooooo I’m feeling I was right not to watch the movie.