The healthcare system sucks, and I'm under a lot of stress right now. Sorry for being a crybaby. I just need some time to breathe, and I just want everyone to know how I honestly am feeling. UA-cam was my escape from my poor health and other issues, but you can't run away from your problems forever. Treating youtube as purely a job was a mistake because it's been killing my passion. I need some time to rethink some stuff and go back to the basics I think.
Don’t apologize for being a “crybaby”, your emotions due to stress and so forth are valid. How you tread through the sludge of emotional mess, take you time, you owe yourself that much
I hate that this is how I've been discovering people lately, I've either been finding videos like this or videos about people retiring or quitting and it sucks that the algorithm for me is doing this. This is the first thing I've watched from you but I'm definitely gonna check out your older content and whenever you're feeling better, hopefully I'll be there to welcome you back.
me too just saw this and wish i could help the world more. i’m horrible at helping myself but when it comes to others i excel at giving a shit so idk… people care even if we don’t care about ourselves
It is very annoying, because as a content creator you don't want to come off this way to most people. But how do you not make videos like this if the algorithm favors content like this or mostly click-bait only titles?
Not sure how this got recommended to me but I'm so sorry. Tons of people have reiterated my exact sentiments in support of you. I just wanted to say thanks for loving RPGMaker Horror games. I'm glad to see someone still loving them. I don't watch twitch ever but I do watch youtube so I subscribed!
I'm not a content creator, but based on watching way more UA-cam than probably is recommendable - the entire UA-cam ecosystem is a meatgrinder. I have to preface this with a clarification: there are still good people on UA-cam, obviously. There are numerous cases where a small creator has been unfairly targeted, and several big channels take their time to defend them (granted, it often includes making content out of the situation.) But in many ways, the "Community" is a "dog-eat-dog world." The risk ofending up as the "chewtoy of the week" alone would be a legitimate source of stress. The other main half is the Algorithm and other back-end stuff. There's a non-zero chance that your entire channel gets deleted without any explanation, and you have to try and get the people from previous paragraph to notice your plight. I just re-watched a video that argued UA-cam intentionally remains ignorant about what happens on the site, otherwise they could be held legally liable. Reward for all of this? Scraps of ad revenue. Well, also an opportunity to shill shadiest products and services known to mankind.
You DO matter. What you WANT matters. I found this video of yours purely by happenstance because it came up on my feed. I watched it beginning to end. This happened for me, someone that has never seen your content before. But here I am, all the same. I think that counts for something, hmm? Be safe and get loved, beautiful person. Your words reached me.
Even the strongest among us can feel weak at times, there's no shame in it. Just do what you can, i like to think that people are capable of more than they see in themselves as after all the future isn't set in stone.
Thank you so much for the super, it means a lot. You're right-- weakness isn't a bad thing. I just think acknowledging the problem is step 1. I need some time to come to terms with a lot of stuff regarding health etc. Being a public figure is so stressful when everything in my life feels like it's crumbling. I know I'll make it through, just need to take it one step at a time and recognize my limitations.
As a random who just happened to stumble upon this video, honestly I didn’t know what to expect. I know that you mentioned not wanting any advice and that you just need some time alone, but my conscience can’t exactly sit back whilst I watch someone pour their heart out into a video. I have no idea who you are but whether or not you find this helpful just hear me out. I’ve spoken to a few folks online with similar situations to yours, they’ve all had a “Breaking Point” in their lives. Maybe content creation isn’t for them, especially when it makes them miserable. If the thing making you happy no longer makes you happy, ITS TIME TO STEP BACK. You’ve probably already done this, but evaluate your current goals and focus on taking care of yourself mentally and physically. Life shouldn’t be about suffering, but each person suffers differently. At some point, you have to realize that happiness is temporary and these moments of anguish you’re going through will probably happen more often than you expect. Keeping that in mind, DON’T LOSE HOPE. It’s the thing keeping you alive during the day. It’s a feeling that usually happens when everything has gone wrong in you life. I’ve had moments where I wonder if anything I do is worth it (And honestly, it might not be). But I’d rather fool myself into believing that things will eventually get better than accept living in a constant state of depression. The emotional weight of expectations, the ever growing anxiety of being told “It’s not enough” will ALWAYS be there. Our jobs as human beings is to deny that outcome, to deny the idea of mediocrity. To rise above the expectation and achieve unexpected results. THIS is what it means to be Alive. I’m not telling you this as some sort of motivation jargon, it’s what I genuinely believe to be true. Please take this however you may, I only hope it gives you some sort of clarity in the tough times ahead. Take care and God Bless….
Never apologize for your emotions. I stumbled in here from an into the pit video and YOU make GOOD STUFF! You do infact matter and what you wanna do matters more. So take your time, you deserve the break if this is how you're feeling.
It hurts seeing someone you enjoy watching be in so much distress. Please take as long as you need to clear your mind. It can be weeks, months, or a year. Yet, I'll still stick around! You are the first VTber I ever decided to watch and keep up with and your community has been such a blast to hang out with! Don't listen to people who want you to change your content to cater to them. They probably don't even make content. This is YOUR channel and they don't have a say on what you should get done or prioritize. Plus, we still have the Discord (to any of you reading, you should definitely consider joining). So we can all still gather and continue having fun, even if you aren't posting on UA-cam. Please take care of yourself and never feel as though all you've done was for nothing. Your content has been super fun to view, and I'll be celebrating on the day you decide to post again! With content YOU'RE happy posting. Take care and we'll see you until then, Karma! 👋😊 Take care too, Mr. Karma and the kitties! ❤️ We'll all be cheering you on!
Thanks so much for the super as well as the kind words. I'm just going to take a week or two to try and gather myself. I need time to mourn my physical health, and just deal with a lot of stress in my life. Being a content creator is hard because I feel like I'm forced to always smile even when things are hard. Having a mask for so long makes things so difficult... I think being honest with everyone is step 1. I need to reassess some boundaries and stop letting other people get inside my head. I've made lots of steps towards this but I recognize I still have a way to go. Thanks for the support, and I'll be back soon. Just hang tight. :) I'm going to try and change things for the better.
Time flies when you're busy or stressed. I hope you take advantage of that time to fully destress and come back feeling ready. We'll certainly be ready, too! (and don't forget to take breaks when you really need them. You're a person, not a machine. Health is always first. No exceptions.) Take care, y'all. 👋❤ Sending best wishes.
And to think I just found your channel with this video. 😢 I am sorry for the hand you have been dealt. You are right. I was struggling to find my words here. I can never attest to the experiences you have been through and I feel as if you are fully valid I'm your feelings. I think that you are at a crossroads here. More than anything, you need to focus on your mental and physical well-being. If this channel is causing you harm then you have to step away and make time for yourself. It is so easy to just tell someone to get off of something and just get away. Its much harder if it's something you love and cared for. But now you need to take action. You need to prioritize what is more important for you. I am so sorry of your condition. You earned a new sub.
@jo3y960 I appreciate your kind words. Obviously ove gotten a lot of support, and it means a lot. I'm taking a short break to focus on my health and rethink some things things in regards to my channel. Life has just dealt me some bad cards lately but I'm sure after some rest I'll be okay
@karmunism In my experience, burnout can be a quick and easy way to start hating what you love. Best to come back to it when you're feeling better. And for the haters you mention, fuck them. People will always want to control or deride for their entertainment. It's your stream, your videos, and your content. Never change yourself to suit some people on the internet. Good luck!
I also just found this channel through this very video, Sending my thoughts and prayers your way, karm! 🙏 Having what you thought would be a strong support system ripped out from under must be a horrible experience. I'm so sorry this happened. It must be destiny that I was recommended this video, 'cause you need all the support you can get! 💙
I don't know what your condition is, but I'm going to subscribe and hopefully you can find the strength to keep pushing forward. I'll be here, looking out for your content and hoping you find your muse to keep creating. For as long as you can keep going, I'll do my best to keep up with you.
There’s isn’t anything I can think, to say. We understand and support you through everything that has happened, we’ll wait until you come back and continue to support you and the channel ❤
Thank you for the super I'm feeling better better far now that I'm a week into my break. I'm taking a little longer but I hope to be back to myself by the end of the year. Karma 2025 🎉🎉🎉
Were here for your karm, please do take a break, you need it, even just a few update videos or even shorts is fine, we love you and your husband does too, i know what i say probably isnt much but we care about you. I know im pretty new but youve made a long lasting impression on me, your persistance despite your illness you keep going for your community and you treat people fairly and give good advice
Thanks a bunch. I'm definitely taking a break for a hard reset. I need to figure out some stuff within myself and then come up with a new approach to things. I want to enjoy youtube again.
This is my first video of yours and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through this. I can definitely see where the frustration comes from. You should just do the stuff that you want to do. I hope that you can find the strength to keep it going and not allow them to win.
It's ok to take a break for yourself. You're honestly one of my favorite streamers and I enjoy your content. I hope this money helps you out. Stay safe and I'll be waiting for your next upload or stream.
Thank you so much for the super. I'm trying my best to get through things, just have taken a lot of Ls lately. I can only laugh it off for so long before I need time to just piece myself back together. To be honest the 1-2 doctor visits a week have been so stressful, especially when appointments are often 3+ hours. I just need some rest that I've been denying myself for a while. I realize running away from the issues doesn't make them go away. I'll be back soon, and hopefully refreshed.
I can imagine the stress you're going through and genuinely I wish I could hug ya. The Healthcare system is so screwed, and not to sound parasocial, but I feel peace knowing I relate to you on this. I had to go through hoops just to get decent enough help to pay for my mental health treatments. It's exhausting, it's painful, and for a long time it felt like I was yelling into a void for help that wasn't going to come through. I can't imagine what you're going through and while I can't promise it'll get better, remember you are worthy of basic human dency. You are worthy of love, of happiness, and of a healthy life. It's a long road ahead in life, but you truly are strong because you're letting yourself be vulnerable and real, that's something so many people are afraid of doing! You've got this and I hope you have a good support system that can cheer you on just as much as the comments are!
Just like a few people here, YT just recommended me this exact video, i watched it, then i took some time to check your older vids, and i gotta say i enjoyed your content :), i can't really say if things can get better or not, and to be honest i'm not exactly the best with words, but lemme just say this, Do what you love, and be yourself People can be cruel on the internet, and they will be (talking from experience here) Let those willing to support you for who you really are and what you really enjoy doing be the boost you need to keep going! (Now if you excuse me, I just found this cool channel called Karmunism and there's a full series on Paper lily, one of my favorite RpgMaker horror projects, so obviously i gotta watch it!)
Thanks so much for the support! On the subject of paper lily, I'm genuinely so excited to see the rest of it. If you're a big rpgmaker fan like me, you might also know Aria's story! It's so good and I haven't played it in forever. That's actually the next game I plan to make a playthrough of :3 I just need a breather, then I want to get back to my roots and play games I like rather than what's trendy
It's very ironic that the moment you're at your worst is when this video gets pushed to more people. Honestly, this video was hard to watch emotionally speaking, but I feel it was worth getting through it. I can only imagine your struggles, but I feel you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make the content you actually enjoy, and honestly anyone who says your content is boring just isn't your target audience and that's fine. Those who will enjoy your content may very well be guided your way. Best of luck to you.
I’ve never seen your content before, and I can’t say that I’ll watch your other stuff regularly or even at all in the long run. But I will say that all of your feelings are valid. Content creation unfortunately lives and dies on how “entertaining” it is and has little or nothing to do with how smart, cool, or genuine you are as an actual person. For what it’s worth maybe my engagement and sub will help edge the algorithm to just a little more people to help. It’s all I can really do, but I really do wish you the best. ❤❤
I was just scrolling through my feed and saw you on my recommended list, and let me just say- your mental health is far more important than your analytics will ever be. The fact you're willing to talk about these things, feeling like you want to make the world a better place but feeling like it's destroying you... that's how I know you're a good person at heart. I myself have a mental disorder (autism) and so many of the things you're saying have been the exact things I found myself talking about when I was on the edge of ending it all. I know I'm only looking through a screen, only talking to pixels on the glass, but I want you to know that all these struggles you're going through? All these demons haunting you? I can SEE you. I can connect with these struggles. I can tell the person behind the mask is there, and struggling, and I want to tell you that YOU MATTER. I know there's inevitably going to be someone being like "sToP bAiTiNg AtTeNtiOn". I know that's a possibility, but the things you've said are too relatable to be anything but true in my eyes. My personal advice is to take a few weeks or months off, algorithm be damned, and see what life feels like away from the screen. You said you feel like a burden on your parents, but trust me when I say you aren't. Want to know how I know that? Because the fact you care so much about the mark you leave behind, you care about the health of people around you, and you'd rather suffer for other people a hundred times over than let a single one suffer for you. I've been taking therapy for years and I still can't shake that self talk either. But the fact that you're tying it to your content creation, that you feel you have to obey the algorithm, makes that feeling so much worse. Honestly, and I'm just spitballing here- if you want to make a difference in the world, being able to talk about stuff like this online is the mark of some of my favorite content creators. Jacksepticeye does these kind of talks a lot, talking about his mental health in such a genuine way it inspires others to come forwards with their own stories. Perhaps (from my total outsider point of view, anyways) the path to breaking free from the algorithm while carving out a niche is being able to talk about your mental struggles and helping people relate to each other. Maybe you could talk about experiences you've had, talk about how they've affected you (though probably leave out specifics) and just make helping each other out the signature of your community. BUT. If you're feeling like that could leave you too vulnerable to others preying on you (which is totally valid) that might not be for you. Whatever way you choose, though, just know that by talking about this I saw myself reflected in your experiences. You've earned a subscriber from me, and I'll definitely be spending the rest of my day pinging your content. Because honestly? It's the people who say they're actually burden on others, the ones who feel like they bring everyone down- those people are always the exact opposite in every single experience I've had with them. Sorry for the long message, but you've really touched a heart today. I may be a random person on the internet to you, but that doesn't make you any less of a person than me. Keep your chin up, have faith that it gets better (because it will, and trust me from my own near-death experience on that) and know that you matter.
im really bad at comforting people also first time viewer but what i will say is everybody is rooting for you to feel better take as many breaks as you want play games you want stream whenever you want i hope you can have brighter days you matter your awesome life is hard these days people are hard to deal with these days i havent been feeling well in a while either but thats where a small circle should support eachother fuck the haters keep cooking videos keep trying dont give up hope!!! YOUR GOING TO GROW!!! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!
Thank you for sharing! My lovely wife has ongoing health issues. I sympathize, try to take it slow. To be broken can be the start of emotional healing.
Hey i just found you today and i don’t know you but im so sorry this is what you’re going through, whatever you end up doing after this i hope you’re able to be happy doing it, i hope your able to achieve your dreams and if anyone tries to make you do things you dont want to, screw them they dont know what theyre talking about just do whatever makes you happy, cheers!
This is my first time noticing your channel. I saw it as a suggestion/recommendation on the list on the right side. Self-care is very important. I think you have the right idea to take some space for the sake of your (mental) health. I genuinely hope things get better for you. 💜
Karma dont listen to all of them. You are worth every ounce of yourself. You do great and you make me and im sure many others feel good watching your content and streams. It makes my day to watch your stuff and talk to you. Life does all of tjis but you have redeeming qualitys. Stay strong. Cause you are so so strong
Life is hard. It really is. And everyone struggles you aswell..but no human is replaceable. But you are so so strong. All you can do is keep kicking. Take time if you need it. The ones who truly deeply care will stay by your side. You are a strong amazing creator. Weather you stop or you continue you will have my lasting support. For you and mister karma and all the cats. I really wish I could give a girl hug. But virtual will have to work.😊❤please stay strong!
Listen: idk if you'll see this, but I just had to say something. I don't usually comment that often and I want to remind you that you're not alone... I personally understand. If I were in your shoes, I would've been frustrated reading the previous sentence, but I'm in a slightly better mindset now, so please give me the benefit of the doubt. I admit I don't know your circumstances, but speaking from my own experiences- I'd like to think I'm doing a lot, yet I alone feel like I'm not actually doing anything. My self esteem is terrible, so you might be asking why I'm even saying all this. I want you to know that just because I'm dealing with similar struggles doesn't mean I judge you for not being the same. On the contrary, I want you to feel accepted, warmth, and love. This is the first video I've seen of you, and I'm so blessed to have come across it. If I was able to resonate with you, feel free to respond ^^ I want to know how you're doing, I'm a week late to the upload anyways haha
Hey, this is my first video I’ve seen on your channel, and I think what’s even crazier is how much I can relate as I feel I’m in the same exact place as you. I’m in a trade (automotive) that I started as a fun hobby, now I’m at a point where I’m good enough to earn an income but I hate it. Everyone wants to boss me around because I’m young (20), yet still rely on me for knowledge or help. I have too down medicine to help with my bad back from an accident I was involved in and I just feel like I’m kicking and screaming inside for everyone to just leave me the hell alone. I already struggle hard with depression and trauma, I feel like I’m a burden even to those closet to me at all times. If it helps you at all, just know you aren’t alone. You seem to have a very loving core audience who will always be here too accept and love you. After this video I plan on checking out a lot of your content that you already have produced. I actually like that you upload videos since I generally prefer to watch videos than streams, and rpg maker stuff is always appealing. I am not sure if you’ll ever read see this comment let alone read it, but if you do I hope you have better times ahead of you and don’t give up!
Also I’m not generally a very emotional person but damn.. hearing you getting upset towards the end there really put me in my feels. I’m not sure if it’s because of just how relatable certain topics are (especially just wanting too sleep and never wake up, feeling like a burden, feeling like I can’t win) I don’t know… I really just hope for better times for you and that you can get back too a point where you enjoy what you are doing. No one deserves to be made to feel like this when they just wanna make videos and stream sometimes.
I really hope things get better for you. Actually my husband is a mechanic and in a similar situation. He's expected to take over his dad's business and it's been a huge stressor on him. Everything you said is stuff he comes home and tells me about. It's so sad. We all have our battles to face, and they suck tbh. Being young is awful because someone always has something negative to say. Someone is always nitpicking. The world is kind of falling apart around us and a lot of times we get treated like it's our fault and not the fault of our circumstances or the state of the world. I love what I do in content creation but with everyone wanting to do it, that means a lot of people have criticism. Just because I'm not necessarily doing the popular thing I have people always up my ass. I know I'm capable. I know I can do it. I just want people to shut up and let me do my own thing, which I'm sure you understand based on your comment. I hope things get better. I know it sucks and it shouldn't be like this but eventually you'll prove your worth in the industry. We shouldn't have to prove our value just to get respect, but unfortunately that's how the world works. Thanks for commenting and supporting. We're all in the same boat to some extent and I hope there's happier days for all of us ahead.
@@karmunism Thanks for the kind words Karma, it really does put ease me a bit too know that others understand the struggles I’m going through too some degree. It’s just so saddening that I have put my entire life behind doing something that makes me miserable more days than not. I’m 20 and just got done doing an engine job and then a transmission and people still bitch and are up my ass. It always “you didn’t do blah blah blah right” and I’m told I’m an asshole when I tell them I don’t care and didn’t ask for their opinion on me. Also told I won’t grow with that attitude but I really just don’t care abt what they have too say and just want too do my job and be happy, like is that a crime now? Also trust me I get people wanting too give unsolicited advice and not shutting the fuck up and letting do my own thing. Apparently everyone really does have to have an opinion on everything. I’ve just stared to kind of take everything day by day but it’d be really nice if everyone could just leave me alone. I’m sure you know exactly how it feels. I hope you and your husband do find enjoyment and peace and I will support you in your endeavors as a content creator. I can see that you put a lot into what you do and I value that and being honest is also a very good trait. You shouldn’t have too feel pressured into doing things that you just don’t want to. Not everyone needs to be the same. Everyone should just be themselves and I think the world may be better off for it
I've seen my oshi go through something similar. She was depressed because of the numbers and people talking bad about her etc. All you need to know is that you will never make every one happy. It just doesn't happen. Content creators have to try their hardest to ignore the haters, but it's like having a black spot on a brand new tv. Its hard to ignore. With time you'll get thicker skin. Stay true to your roots and you'll end up fine. Prioritize mental health alright.
I love how you phrase that-- it's like dead pixels on a brand new TV. You're right, I can look around them and I know it's not that bad, but it's hard to entirely ignore. And as soon as I notice them I can't help but feel a bit disappointed seeing as I spent so much on this "TV". I know my skin will get thicker over time, just gotta make it to that point.
I just found you today and I'm sorry you're going through all that. I wish I could do more than just post a comment and watch a video, but you should do exactly what you want to do. Stream what you want to stream. You don't deserve all this stress and pain and I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know that you've gained a subscriber and I'm here for the ride.
UA-cam algorithm doing something weird. I hate to see smaller creators be snuffed out like cigarettes. I've been in a similar position lately, I'm still waiting on a perfect opportunity to go see a psychiatrist. But it's how it is, you can't have fun, you can't enjoy what made yourself you. I don't know what medical conditions you have that put a strain on everyone around you, honestly feels like a candle that's nearly out of wax. You have a right to feel this way, I hope you find the strength to carry on.
I'm a recent sub and watch what I can of your content and I enjoy it. I hope you continue to upload when you can/want to, things that you like so the enjoyment you get from making it can be felt by those watching. Take however long you need to decide where you want to take your channel, something that i do myself is to take things one day at a time and after long enough I'm further along and feel less anxiety about what seemed insurmountable when looking at everything as a whole. You're not evil or wrong for wanting to do things your way and not be told what to do, it's your channel and sadly it happens often enough that most people tend to have no back seating as a rule. Do whatever you feel is best for you and when you want to upload again the people will watch it. I'm not a content creator so feel free to ignore this bit but maybe there's a happy middle ground where experimenting with different interests can lead to things that can do better on the channel *and* be something you enjoy too. Regardless, I'll be happy to see what you put out
I’ve never seen you before, but I’m glad I found you. I’ve been trying to write a comforting comment for 25 minutes now, but I can’t find the words. I don’t know you well enough and I’m not so great at consoling people in the first place. I will say, though, not to force yourself into doing what you don’t want to do. What’s the point in being successful if you hate your success, after all. I wish you well, in everything 🤍
[Sorry if my english is bad it not my first language] Hey there im so sad that i have to found your channel like this, this is the first video i seen from you and i really hope things will turn better for you and i hope i could help at least just a little. I completely understand what you say i myself been strugling lately but lets hope the future hold something better for you and dont ever give up who you are there are people who will love the real you. Keep being your amazing self because despite everything you still going and you are still here. The best of luck to you and i hope you will find youir happiness.
Thank you for the super! I appreciate the kind words, and I hope you get to feeling better soon. We all have struggles, but it's possible to overcome them with time
When I first found ya I didn’t really think you were boring! It was quite the opposite actually. I thought you were interesting and very nice! Always happy and full of energy despite your condition. Always trying to cater to your viewers, but sadly we can’t please everybody. After everything that has happened I think you’re an incredibly strong person for dealing with all this. I would hate to see you go permanently but of course your mental and physical health comes FIRST! Hopefully you can get some much needed rest and rekindle your passion ! We will be waiting for you! ❤
You don't have to be a beacon of positivity. Your frustration is valid. I actually really like the honesty and transparency here. You should do whatever the hell you want to do.
First time seeing your videos and I don't really know what to say. I would try comfort you but I don't know if I can…I genuinely wish I could help…I’m so sorry that you are being treated like this for having fun and doing what you like…no one should have a say in your life it's yours to enjoy not theirs to control…I hope that everything gets better because you deserve better
This is the first time I saw your channel and all I have to say is, that I'm sorry for what you have to go through! Getting forced to do things that you don't like and not be yourself is wrong and of course, you gonna ended up depressed. You should always be yourself and do things that you love and make you happy! I wish you nothing but the best to feel better soon and taking a break is a good start!
This made me cry. Really hard. I’m not a viewer of yours nor have I seen any content of yours prior to this video but I just want you to know that I see you, and I hear you, and you’re not an evil person. Also rpgmaker especially rpgmaker horror games are my absolute favorite games to play and I think it’s reaally cool to find a creator who also loves playing my favorite games. The internet, especially content creation, can really get to you. I’m not a creator myself but I would also take a break if this was happening to me. People….. especially online, can be terrible sometimes. I don’t want to invalidate your experiences but I would also like to say that letting go of such people is fine if it makes you happy. Do what makes you happy. Again, I don’t really know how hard this is for you but I just wanted to say that you have a choice between conformity and doing what you love regardless of what others might think or say. I think of game ending myself regularly and having no hope. I find that there’s really no easy way to get out of that cycle of thinking. Some times I end up harming myself, sometimes I just sleep and forget. However I find that gravitating things I love helps, even if just a little bit. It helps me forget the bad things and not get overwhelmed. Hopefully my little comment reaches you and I hope it was able to make you feel even a tad bit better. 💜💜🫶🏻🫶🏻
I can't tell you it will everything will be fine. I wish I could but I can't. The amount of pressure you face everyday is something I understand but only to the extent that someone not there can. I just want you to know that you are an amazing person. Please take the time you need to help your mental health and just know you will have my support
I hope things get better for you soon. It's far easier said than done, but just doing what makes you happy is the best thing to do. People who come and try to get you to change don't want what's best for you, and even if you do change, they're not likely to stick around. Again, easier said than done, but just being yourself and making whatever makes you happy will bring an audience- one that is actually loyal. I really hope things pick up for you soon, you seem like a very strong and kind person :)
Your audience, the ones who really care, will still be around when you return, but I hope the break you take brings you peace and clarity. I didn't know you did rpgmaker game content, I would love to see some whenever you return, if you choose to. I believe in you though, you are one of the vtubers that have inspired me to want to eventually become one myself. I hope this does not come off as parasocial but I relate to having chronic pain that will never get better, and I hope that I can have half the resilience you do. Wishing you nothing but the best.
From the sounds of it, getting it all out at once like this was the only good choice. You did the right thing taking a break to sort things out, and I really hope you can find a healthier way to do what you love, so that you can keep going.
I'm sorry you feel this way it sucks that people are saying that you need to do what we are doing but you want to do your own thing that takes guts to do that and if they keep pushing you that way it gets hard. Having the heart to speak up about says alot about you and your character. Having ADD and ADHD I went through the same shit you are going through. Keep your head high and your heart in the things you love to do. Wishing you the best.❤❤
I just found your channel, and this video hits hard. I can relate more than I ever thought I would. Taking a break isn't a bad thing, especially if it's to help yourself or reignite your passion for what you like. I don't know who's telling you these horrible things, but those people aren't your fans, friends, or even people who want to see you succeed. They're sad, scared individuals who are jealous because, as small of a creator that you are, you're doing something that they wish they could do but are too scared to do it. So they take their anger out on you. Even the ones that mean well don't realize what they're doing. Some of my favorite Is content creators ( vtubers or not) are the ones that do their own thing. Regardless of how big the subscriber count is there happy and it that in turn makes it fun to watch them. All I can say is that I hope you can fine your passion once again. Because the people who truly do enjoy your content want nothing but the best for you and are more than willing to wait for you to come back, I can promise you that. Whatever happens, I honestly hope you find your happiness.You find your passion for this once again and that you take care of yourself. I'm gonna take this opportunity to watch your old videos. UA-cam recommended me your channel, this video for a reason. Maybe it was to leave this really long comment or maybe it was to help me realize things through your situation. Whatever the case, I truly hope things get better for you. 🫂
I wish I could offer something to help, but overall I'm sorry you're having to suffer through all of that. Thank you for sharing this with your viewers, and I hope they can offer you comfort.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much pain. I wish I could say something that would make things better, but I don't know what to say. Honestly, I'm new to your channel. I hope that, despite everything, things get better in your life.
Well, I really appreciate you being here. :) I'll be back to the usual, I just need a minute to have a hard reset. I need to come to terms with my physical health, as well as rethink some stuff on my channel. I need to find my direction and passion again, because somewhere along the way I think I dropped it. 2025 will be my year, at least I hope.
Never fun to find someone new on this site through videos like these. It's a damn bitter dose of irony when the alg decides to pick something up as someone is at their wits' end over how the site makes them feel. I'm sorry that something you started for fun is being tainted by the expectations that being "content" brings along with it. I hope you can get back in tune with your passions. It sounds like you really need it given the circumstances. If it winds up taking you back here eventually, I'll try to make a point to stop by. Assuming this interest still holds true by then, RPGMaker games hold a special place in my heart after having grown up watching countless videos of them back in their golden era. The genre probably has claim to a large portion of the most memorable experiences I've had gaming, all in spite of the limitations the format imposes. It's a mine filled to brimming with hidden gems, and I love to see people exploring it even today.
If you ever need someone to back you up or help you get distracted im here. I get the feeling, you are strong. You just need time for yourself or with friends, taking a day or a week wont make us forget you, we will just miss you and be happy your caring for yourself. You got this no matter what ❤️
This is the first video I've seen by you and I'm in tears because I can actually relate, kinda. all I ever do is work as my health slowly deteriorates from chronic illness. I didn't get anything I wanted to do actually done, and I don't have any energy left for the stuff I like to do. I'm a loner on top of that and nothing I ever do is enough. I even relate to wanting everyone to shut up (It doesn't mean you're a bad person t means you're tired of feeling this horrible). You're not a crybaby I'm a grown man who cries over this type of stuff too. I hope you see this, if you don't quit I'll be your new fan, and if you do (or take a break) I want you to go out of your way to play the games you find fun. Even though your basically an internet stranger love you because I couldn't allow myself to see someone feel this horrible who's basically a mirror reflection of how I felt. Everyone calling you a b word is soo wrong too! I don't want you to quit either even if things get worse I know your fans will try to cheer you up. I Barley know you but almost broke down writing this (maybe I am crybaby). I hope you keep going cause no one is going to replace you!
im sorry that you're feeling this way, Karma. and i am sorry that this is the video that I discovered you on. sending as much love as i can your way. and no, you are not replaceable. you are you, you are amazing in your own way, and nothing and noone can replace you. its okay to feel all of these emotions, you are not a crybaby for doing so. i know theres only so much i can say and do that could help. but i hope taking a break and taking as much time as you need for yourself will do good. the internet is full of assholes, but there are also plenty of us here who genuinely care about you and wish you the best. much love
This is how I've found you, and I just want to say that as a very small content creator myself, I can see where you're coming from. I won't pretend that I completely understand how you're feeling, but I do want to let you know that you deserve to be happy and to do what makes you happy. I'm sorry it's gotten to this point. Please take all the time you need to take care of yourself before anything else. If you do decide to come back someday, I hope it's on your own terms, in your own way. I hope I'll be here to see it. May you be smiled upon.
I have no idea of how much you've gone through, but I can empathise with a lot of what you said here. I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something. You've done well putting yourself out there, just from this video I think the way you speak and think about things shows you're intelligent. Being able to express yourself is also really important, I can tell that you really needed to get this out and I hope it helped. I wish there was more I could do.
I wish I found your content sooner, don’t listen to anybody who tells you “do and do not”, people like that don’t care about you as a person if they say that stuff, you SHOULD do what you love, play what you like, be who YOU want to be, and if the people who complain don’t like that, they can leave. You have just gained a new subscriber today, and I can’t wait to see what comes next, And tbh, RPG maker games are great, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!
as another person who found you through this, i express sorrow for your overall state. so many people apologizing for being miserable it's overwhelming. take as long of a break as you need, and don't let outside expectations define anything ahead of your passions. you deserve far better.
Hi, Like many people here, I’m witnessing your channel for the first time Sometimes life sucks for me too, I have also had days where I want to do nothing but lie in bed and days where I just feel really really sad😵💫 But you are wayyyyy stronger than you think, you’re here to share your interests with us despite the ongoing issue with your life. That kind of strength is very special Even if only a few people watch your streams compared to someone with millions of followers, that doesn’t make you any less interesting to watch. Only if a few thousand watch you regularly , they are here for YOU and your interests I hope that you’ll have the strength to overcome any obstacle life throws at you, because you are, indeed, that strong Stay safe, and remember. Be kind of yourself
IDK how this will be taken but I geniunely hope the best for you. You are a person that matters. I can't imagine how much stress you had to endure for it to get to this. It sucks that outta the video you have out, this is the one that gets recommended to me and the one i clicked because you shouldn't have this huge weight crushing you. Do what you need to take care of yourself and make yourself happy, if it's RPGmaker horror games then so be it. Again I hope things get better for you and you find the motivation to continue that will make you happy.
its my first time of watching this video of yours & i'm so sorry what your going through you deserve a break & don't let people tell you what they want & hope you get some rest & get well
I got recommended this video, never seen you before. As a fellow Vtuber of a vaguely similar size (you're definitely larger), I can severely relate. I don't really have great advice to give, we're going through similar struggles, but I really want you to know that you aren't alone.
I wanna say a lot of things for you right now. I know you probably want to be left alone and usually every comment sends an email and I hate that that happens Everytime someone comments on something if someone wants to be left alone but I hope this reaches you in time so there's gonna be a lot of words. I really appreciate you sharing your true feelings and emotions. Never be afraid to do so. I'm getting so sick of everyone getting mad at people like you or people who are needing to put on this false provoto and blunder to make everyone else happy. It's really upsetting how so many people need to act like dumb negative toddlers on iPads commenting the most obscene words to someone just because you set boundaries or do something someone doesn't like. They cannot be reasonable or excuse themselves and be rude as hell just because one doesn't like this game or that game. If you don't like the content dont view it. I understand where you are coming from at your point. It's really upsetting. And I honestly have a hella lot of respect for you. And no it's not out of pity but I honestly appreciate this video. I reasoned with this a lot. So many people online are so negative anymore that it really gets to a lot of people. Just like the ironmouse situation where she won over the title of most subs on twitch. People lost it on tik Tok and said "this thing won against Kai?" That's a real person behind a Vtuber often for privacy reasons. She's literally sick. She cannot go outside due to her condition. It's always the Vtubers who are sick normally that get the most hate on top of having to deal with health issues or controversy or drama. It's sad. Now I cannot relate to those health issues but ever since Biden went into office and prices for everything and I flatiron. That stuff hits like a bullet and costs too much for anything anymore. People are slowly dying or losing it. I hate that I never found you sooner but I for sure will view your videos out of respect. Again I appreciate and love you for making this video. It's almost impossible to show emotions for most people and we all bottle it up. I have ADHD and OCD and really bad anxiety but I will not compare it to anything here because I don't know you on a personal level. I wish I could give you a big hug through the screen rn. I hope you get well soon and continue what you love. Remember what impact you had on some people that is positive. I know it's hard to put it behind you. But letting the bad kids out of the orchard get to you isn't healthy. Who cares what they have to say. I may not like some games because modern games suck compared to old nostalgic ones to me. But I'm not gonna hate on you for playing something you love. Stay safe alright! Again thank you for making this video. This actually made me emotional and this is probably the biggest comment I ever made on any video and I hope it saves. Stay safe alright? If you quit vtubing or gaming at least try to do what you enjoy outside of it alright? Hope you get better soon. ❤️
i want to offer you such a big, warm hug.. i feel exactly the same way you do, i can't even get my start from the same feelings!! i don't think it's your fault, sweet streamer, i think this is a heartbreaking side effect of the current state of the world. i know it's easier said than done, but please take this as my invitation not to blame yourself for what's happening. you deserve to be able to relax and manage your energy the way that best matches your needs.
47 year old here. Like a lot of others I just got rec'd this video seemingly randomly. I've been through a lot of BS in my life - I've been told my life could have been a made-for-TV movie with all the insanity I've experienced. I'm not going to sit here and write platitudes and tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and such, because frankly, I don't know if it is or not. What I CAN tell you is, that uncertainty? The fact that you honestly don't know what's going to come tomorrow, whether it's going to be a windfall or a disaster? That is EXACTLY WHY you need to follow your own heart and your own passion EVERY SINGLE DAY. Because you just don't know how many you have left. There are millions of people out there consuming content - the VAST MAJORITY of them are probably not going to like you or what you like. That's fine. It's not because anything you do is wrong or anything you like is bad, it's just the reality of millions of free people who have their own thoughts, opinons and experiences. You didn't connect with this one? No worries. Let them move along to something else. Don't waste your time or energy on them, they're not a part of your life. Instead, just keep doing what you love. If there's one thing authentic people can detect, it's another authetic person, and your passion for what you truly love will do more to help you connect with those people than anything else you could display. You'll attract people who love what you love, who'll be supportive and help keep your passion alive. It might be slow, one here and a few there, but who cares, right? One worthwhile person in your life is worth a thousand window shoppers who will move on to the next thing whenever the trends change. One person tell you 'Hey, I love what you do, keep it up!' is worth a million 'Ehh, I dunno, if you just streamed THIS you'd have more subs...'. You know what your goals are, and it sounds to me like your head and heart are both in the right place. Keep doing what you love. If that's making content about a video game three people have played, do it. If it's quitting the internet and going off the grid to live in a cabin, do it. Don't waste what time you have messing around with what other people want from you. It's not worth it. Hell I spent years of my life building two video games from the ground up that only.. maybe three people total have ever even played, and that's fine. I didn't make them so other people would like them, I made them because I wanted to make games ever since I was a child. And I did. Mission accomplished, right? Anyway, you got my sub because you truly do seem like an authentic person who wants to follow their passion, and to me, those are the people who deserve support the most. I don't even know if I like your content, but I know I support your goals, and that's all I need to know. Please keep being unapologetically you. The world needs more of that.
this has been in my four-page and after a while and listening I hope you feel better mentally and physical take a long break if you have too take each step slowly before coming back because health and life matters more you got this im rooting and praying for you please take it slow
I’ve been here for a long time since TikTok and I’m always here for you Karma and I hope all of your fans are here to help and I hope we can help you with this
I think you’re wise to take a step back and do what you think you need to do for yourself. I haven’t gone through what you are, but I know the feeling of experiencing something painful that nobody else around you understands or appreciates and hearing them tell you what you’re doing wrong and how you could just fix it or to just get over it when that’s not how it works I hope this doesn’t sound preachy, I just want you to know that I, even being just some random stranger on the internet, care about you and want you to do what’s best for you, physically and mentally. Take all the time you need; I’m gonna go check out some old RPG maker videos from your channel
This is extremely sad to hear, I'm sorry that things are so bad right now and I'm just a random person online, so I doubt I can say anything that helps, but I hope you're able to find some peace and comfort in whatever you decide to do going forward.
In the last part, she said, "I only want to have fun and what I am passionate about." I felt that and I understand why because what we are talented about and what we want to do to have fun is the thing to have our escapism, and we never get what we want it. This is really unfair for her. Healthcare dose Nothing to help us for. 😢😢😢
Hey Karma, this is the first time I seen your video and I just want to say that doing this for almost 2 years while being in pain is very very admirable, I just want you to know this video inspired me to do better with my life, thank you and I hope you come back 10x stronger. get well soon 🙏.
It always come across a video when it’s almost about this. And what I can say is, let those people who are mad stay mad, if they aren’t happy what you’re doing then let them stay mad. You keep up doing what your heart tells you to do. Do it how you would do and take that path. Never let negativity hold you down, never let people who are yelling at you what to do, you aren’t in their control. You are in your own control in what you do. Become better in the experience you gather and push forward. People will laugh, cry, get mad along with you on your journey in making videos. Just like the Robinson’s movie “Keep moving forward”.
Take as long as you need. (I just got out of being admitted for the second time this year--which is good compared to some previous years. I'm trying harder to physically dodge housemates...) Just I hope you know I love that you're here, talking to us, and would like you to keep at the forefront the escape and hobbyist aspects of vtubing. What it has has done for your emotional health, and not what anyone's trying to tell you you need to do to be beeeeeeg. Please don't take this as unsolicited advice--it's just something I wanted to say. Best wishes, Karmunism.
I discovered you through this Karma, and I just want to say, you have made a subscriber and viewer out of me. Everything you’ve said really struck a chord in me, and I’m going to do what I can to light the end of the tunnel for you. Take a break, step back, even go offline completely if you need to. In the meantime, I’ll be watching the content you’ve worked so hard to make.
I've never seen you before, but I'm glad this video popped into my feed. My heart hurts for you. I'm not a very emotional person, but i feel your pain, and am tearing up. When you mentioned the bottle of pills...i understand that feeling all too well. I will say prayers for you, Ms Karma. I subbed, and plan on checking out your previous videos. Please take care of yourself.
Karma I’m so sorry you been feeling this way!! You are amazing and I hope you can create in ways that you love!! I know if you deleted your channel I would miss your work a lot. If you do take a break I won’t forget you. I’d rather you do what makes you happy as I sub for you. As someone also struggling with health I know completely how you feel! Your feelings are so so valid!!! It’s ok to take each day at a time right now. You don’t owe us happiness or to present yourself in a certain way. You are enough as you are. I hope you can do your plans and dreams one day and if you need help don’t be scared to reach out.
Hey, I just stumbled upon your channel and I understand mental health issues. I’m going through mental issues myself, and I like to think of being a UA-camr as a hobby. I really hope things get better for you; I’ll keep you in my prayers
I had this crash out a few times in my life, and having to detach is never a good feeling but it made me see those who truly care will never leave you, your roots, know who they are and cherish them just as much as those who are only here briefly in our lives. You will be missed around here, and we can't wait to see the person you always wanted to be. Till then, you take care of yourself.
This just randomly got recommended to me, but I just want to say… thank you for sharing your honest feelings. I don’t have a degenerative disease, so I can’t imagine what you must be going through… but I have felt like I’m a fraud before, and I’m still dealing with that imposter syndrome like “maybe everyone would be better off if I weren’t in the picture.” I know how much effort it takes to not believe that. You seem like a really genuine person, and I’m going to subscribe in hopes I see you upload or stream your passions again. Even if I may not be into indie horror, I understand having a passion that you think people hate. Please keep following your dreams, because I know that if you have a passion, other people do too. I hope I see you upload or stream again, and if not, I hope you do well with your future endeavors. This might be a lot from a complete stranger, so I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. But from one struggling human to another, I love you, and you matter more than you think.
I just got recommended this video and I’m not really familiar with your content and I don’t really know how to talk to people when they’re going through stuff. All I know is that you deserve to be happy. If you want to make a certain type of content or change something, then do it. Just remember that no matter what type of content or how amazing and entertaining you are, there will always be people that complain about how “you’re doing it wrong“ or “this game you love sucks”. But for every one of these loud and vocal people I imagine that there’s five silent ones that love and enjoy your content. I wish you the absolute best and hope things improve for you.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm not a content creator but a lot of this hit home. I hear your pain and i hope that whatever things can get better for you do get better. You DO deserve to be happy, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ❤
Karma. It's ok. Take a fucking break. We'll be here. Please stay safe man... Even if you don't post for a while, even if you don't stream for a whole, as long as YOU are happy, then we're fine with it. Don't push yourself to do stuff for random people you don't even know. I really hope you just, let yourself rest. Please, just take a rest... Maybe even a hiatus... And when you get back, we'll welcome you with open arms, ok? I hate it to see people being chewed up mentally like this. I've said my part, thank you for you reading this. And, don't forget, you still have us on Discord anyways! - Lucid
I'm definitely taking a mini break. Was supposed to have a week long break last month but then anilive happened and ruined it all. Just constant Ls lately with my health and stuff. It's a lot to take in mentally and I just feel so overwhelmed. Need some time to breathe.
@karmunism I'm just a random person, some guy that found your channel one day. Now I'm providing emotional support. And I'm glad I'm able to be there to support you, even if I only know bits and pieces of your life. Don't let content define who you are man. Let YOU define you. See you later man
I'm not really sure what to say, and I'm not gonna just try and cheer you up, but I do enjoy watching you have fun when I can and you definitely deserve to be happy and play things that are fun for you, I guess just take a break and forget the haters and just do what sounds fun cause I'm gonna stay for as long as you upload 👍 and I am sorry that you going through so much just remember there are those here that enjoy what you do when it makes you happy 👍
I've bathed depression my whole life I've felt everything you've said here I don't know you or you specific situation, but you mentioned you feel your a burden on your family, that means you have someone close to you. Open up to someone anyone Nothing you do is wrong you matter think about what you want what would make YOU happy or at least less unhappy and take that step Also anything I'm suggesting is BSi don't know you and everyone is different just try to remember there's always tomorrow, there's always another chance another try there's nothing stopping you from doing something again or trying it a different way later with new insight and a nights sleep(and cry) Try one thing at a time or try a bunch of things at once or if you want to stop doing stuff that isn't your thing you have it a try you don't like it and your going back to doing what you know you like it's not a failure it's just finding out about something new that you don't care for This my first vid and i I'm going to sub i hope catch more vids you post in future of whatever you decide on screw whatever everyone else wants and don't look at your numbers for a while those always dip when you change content and no point in worrying about stuff being your control
First of your videos ive seen and i must say the raw genuine honesty is something many will appreciate. I think being your true self wether irl or even streaming especially is hard for many. Talking, doing, enganging in things you find enjoyable is something that makes you happy and there should be no problem with that. Ill recommend this guy called Dr K who makes videos and i find them helpfull. Anyway i think its fine to take a break and if anything just know you gained a new fan today.
Thanks :) I've always prided myself on my transparency, as I know a lot of creators are dishonest in more ways than one. Being myself makes it hard to grow sometimes, but I feel like it makes the community I do have so much more powerful. I know people like me for the real me, not BS. I've just been growing a lot REALLY fast and the learning curve has been intense. I'll get there one day.
So sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it. There is no faster road to burn out, than chasing the latest trend all the time, or anything else for that matter, if that's not a thing you enjoy doing. That's fine, it's more than okay, to stick to whatever your passions are. If that means people don't really want to stick around for it, that's okay too, you don't need them. They weren't here for you, they were here for themselves. I'd rather have a small tight-knit community that actually cares about the creators and not just the content, anyways. Just be mindful of the opposite end of that spectrum though, as turning something you enjoy into a job can really make you hate that thing later on and burn out too. Mix something different in from time to time, if/when you feel you need to for yourself. It still has to be something you enjoy, of course. Rest up, take your time, and when you're ready, get back to the content you actually love again. Have a great rest of your night
one important thing i would like to say is that there will always be people out there who care about you. not just what you do or anything else, but who will deeply appreciate you for who you are. finding those people and sticking close by might help ease the pain or make it feel less pointless, though i dont want to minimize your experience by saying that. it may not seem like there is any happiness in the future, but you can find it. ive struggled a lot with mental health and suicidal ideation, but finding those who genuinely care has made things a lot better. it hasnt fixed everything, but i feel like i have a place in the world, which has helped immensely. good luck out there.
I only discovered you through this video (it's ironic how the algorithm works, isn't it?...), and I listened to every moment of it, beginning to end. I have no unsolicited advice, and maybe few words (probably in a jumbled-up soup as usual with me), only an ear. Your feelings and thoughts are completely valid, as well as your desire to do what makes your heart sing. I hope that whichever road you decide to take leads to greater happiness and fulfillment, whether it's taking a temporary or permanent break, or going against the grain should you decide to return (because judging by what you've expressed here, the shift you've taken isn't fun or sustainable). I'm here with you on this one (as a former and very brief creator), it really sucks that if you want to reach a sustainable and growing audience, you almost always have to play a tug of war game between what you want and what the system demands for you to do. Artists can never catch a break, you know? People should never be shamed for following their dreams and passions. Take care of yourself, and only come back if you decide continuing this is right for you, and there will be no judgment (at least from me, and I hope much of your audience) if you decide to move on instead. Your mental and physical health matter above all else. Wishing you love and happiness, Dark Sun
Its horrible that this is my first video from you. I cried the whole way through and i can imagine its so so much worse for you. Im going to watch some of your older stuff today and at least be here upon your return. Be safe and take time to take care of yourself❤
i’m so sorry man, this whole process is just, hell. I can’t even imagine how much pain you feel, and i don’t want to say things will get better. But i do hope they do get better, i am so so sorry, you deserve the best, your interests are awesome and i think you’re a genuine person. please take a break if you need it. Please don’t think you’re selfish, we all have had thoughts like this and it’s not wrong for you to want peace. I hope you find that peace
I have MS, and I've kinda' been dealing with it for over a decade. I'm mostly bedridden, no family to help/care, so... yeah... I totally feel this. Unfortunately I don't have a solution, either. But I can/do commiserate.
I have MS too, actually. I'm recently diagnosed which was a battle in itself, and I just started treatment about a month ago which has been rough on top of the other health issues I have. I'm so sorry you don't have support. I'm extremely lucky to have my husband and family but even with that support net I can't help but feel like a burden most of the time. I know they don't think that way, but I feel so pathetic not being able to do anything for myself. Just in the last 4 years I've went from an athlete and performer to using a cane and researching wheelchairs. Life just feels like it's spiraling out of control sometimes and it's really hard to have a positive social media presence when I'm struggling with so much offline. I really wish you the best, and I hope you're able to find a solid support net. There's so many people out there, especially vtubers, who make content due to their disabilities. It's a great medium to be able to express yourself and have some sort of social life while being stuck in bed. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. I hope things get better for everyone, not just myself. Life sucks sometimes and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't. Regardless though, gotta keep moving.
It's never great being put under a microscope like what youre going through, being stressed and yanked around by people about what you can and can't do, when it's you who should be in crontrol... I really do hope things turn around for your for the better, mentally and physically. I know it has to be a long road, but you honestly deserve the break that you need from all of this. Not to mention, but you'll still have people who will wait for you to comeback and hope for you to return but better than before!
I... Am sorry you are dealing with a lot. I just found this video from ya here, I may check out your stuff from here... But I will say I do kinda see the struggle you have. I feel pain, the inner pain of being unable to help my family, to feel like a burden, to feel like you can't handle anything, to wish you can do something and show the world that you are stronger then you think just to show how cool you are and to have fun with it... But its... A lot tougher then it looks. I am sorry you are experiencing this pain. I... Can't tell you what to do at all, that is up to you and you should decide what you want to do. But, i can only suggest trying to find yourself and do what you can to sort out how you feel. I do strongly suggest finding people you enjoy being with and just doing fun things together, make happy moments so you can remember what happiness feels like!... Just giving ya ideas, ya know. I hope things get better for ya. I may not be your most loyal fan or anything, but I do hope things will be ok. Good luck out there...
The only thing I could say after watching this is that I know you aren’t alone in real life in how you are feeling, or in the content creation space, these algorithms are beyond awful at pointing viewers who would enjoy smaller creators content by funneling them toward the big fish instead. It’s really unfair and I sympathize with you and your struggle, as well as your want to do things you enjoy without compromising your vision regardless of the meta. I’m usually guilty of giving unsolicited advice to people in need at this point, but since I know you don’t want that I’ll butt out of it (not sure if that’s more of a guy thing or an autism thing for me, but that’s neither here nor their lol), anyway I hope you feel nothing but love from everyone after speaking up about your experience.
Sorry to hear of your plight. People can be just the worst. Take that break, neither we nor the people who detest you for being different are worth the stress. It’s fine to curl inwards, whether to give up or to recharge. I’ll be glad to still have you around no matter where the roads lead, but it’s all up to you. Just do your best to not feel demonized for simply being yourself, no matter what faceless masses say about you for it. It’s the most anyone owes to themselves. Stay strong and happy holidays.
My husband made a wonderful comment to me a few weeks ago about how my main enemy is the "vocal minority". It really put things in perspective. I have so many people that support me, but they don't say much. It's important to realize those people calling my interests or game choices lame and such are a MINORITY. If everyone thought that way about me, I wouldn't be at nearly 3k subscribers. It's really hard to recognize people as a minority when they're screaming so loudly, but I'm trying learn to tune the voices out. I just need a break and some time to rethink my approach to my content. I've been a pushover all my life and I really think I need some better boundaries and guidelines in the future. I know I'm a sensitive person and I know I'm a people pleaser, but I have to remember that I'm a person as well. I shouldn't sacrifice myself for others because you're right, they're not worth the stress. I just need to find my passion again and go back to what makes me happy.
I’d like to offer an idea for your return. Something to split the difference between chasing the trends and nesting with what you truly enjoy. Would you like to hear it?
@mayborneflower sure In the past when I uploaded 3 videos a week I did 2 I enjoyed and 1 which was more trendy. With my health making content has been hard, so I'm down to 1 or maybe 2 uploads a week + streams. I think one of my biggest issues is that I need to find something I enjoy for livestreams. I'm really good at talking but sometimes I want to play a game. At the same time though, I'm sort of a "fake gamer" as in I don't like super gameplay heavy games. Since talking is my strength, it makes it hard to focus on responding to people in chat. If I play visual novels and stuff though I have people calling my streams boring though.. I need a middle ground. I'm totally open to ideas, as I'm thinking of some myself also
Thanks. It’s actually deceptively simple. Double feature variety gaming streams, give the trendy thing top billing in the title but play your RPG Maker horror or something else obscure picked by your fans first before going after the other thing. Charge your battery with the thing you actually wanna do before braving some toe dipping into the stuff casuals want to see. Just feature both things in the thumbnail and no one (sane) will complain about being clickbaited. And if they do, ban and block.
@mayborneflower honestly makes sense. I'll see how I can incorporate that for sure! A lot of the games I enjoy are long and require multiple videos so it may be hard to double feature. I might be able to find some shorter VNs or something to pair though! I know early in my channel I'd have a "theme" and do something similar. I'd try to have all the games have a similar plot or story to help them blend together nicely
Never have come across your content before but I still wanna say that I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Your voice matters. *you* matter! If you need to step away than so that! Focus on you!
![I quit ANILIVE so I could share my story. [Favoritism, False Promises, AI Allegations, and MORE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/oy5Nvgr3cbs/mqdefault.jpg)
The healthcare system sucks, and I'm under a lot of stress right now. Sorry for being a crybaby. I just need some time to breathe, and I just want everyone to know how I honestly am feeling. UA-cam was my escape from my poor health and other issues, but you can't run away from your problems forever. Treating youtube as purely a job was a mistake because it's been killing my passion. I need some time to rethink some stuff and go back to the basics I think.
@@karmunism "Crying is not a sign of being weak or pathetic but a sign of strength" Love you Karmunism 💜
(not in any weird way of course 🥲)
Crying is a part of healing and your content is good even if I post random things on the messaging
Hope you do better :D
Don’t apologize for being a “crybaby”, your emotions due to stress and so forth are valid. How you tread through the sludge of emotional mess, take you time, you owe yourself that much
@@karmunism its fine i feeling the same thing rn im trying to recover as well
@@karmunism its ok it was a learning experience for also i wasnt plan on commenting but i end up doing so
I hate that this is how I've been discovering people lately, I've either been finding videos like this or videos about people retiring or quitting and it sucks that the algorithm for me is doing this. This is the first thing I've watched from you but I'm definitely gonna check out your older content and whenever you're feeling better, hopefully I'll be there to welcome you back.
me too just saw this and wish i could help the world more.
i’m horrible at helping myself but when it comes to others i excel at giving a shit so idk… people care even if we don’t care about ourselves
same. I hope she gets better and doesn't give up on her youtube channel. I would hate to lose her too especially after just discovering her.
It is very annoying, because as a content creator you don't want to come off this way to most people. But how do you not make videos like this if the algorithm favors content like this or mostly click-bait only titles?
Not sure how this got recommended to me but I'm so sorry.
Tons of people have reiterated my exact sentiments in support of you.
I just wanted to say thanks for loving RPGMaker Horror games. I'm glad to see someone still loving them.
I don't watch twitch ever but I do watch youtube so I subscribed!
I'm not a content creator, but based on watching way more UA-cam than probably is recommendable - the entire UA-cam ecosystem is a meatgrinder.
I have to preface this with a clarification: there are still good people on UA-cam, obviously. There are numerous cases where a small creator has been unfairly targeted, and several big channels take their time to defend them (granted, it often includes making content out of the situation.) But in many ways, the "Community" is a "dog-eat-dog world." The risk ofending up as the "chewtoy of the week" alone would be a legitimate source of stress.
The other main half is the Algorithm and other back-end stuff. There's a non-zero chance that your entire channel gets deleted without any explanation, and you have to try and get the people from previous paragraph to notice your plight. I just re-watched a video that argued UA-cam intentionally remains ignorant about what happens on the site, otherwise they could be held legally liable.
Reward for all of this? Scraps of ad revenue. Well, also an opportunity to shill shadiest products and services known to mankind.
You DO matter.
What you WANT matters.
I found this video of yours purely by happenstance because it came up on my feed. I watched it beginning to end. This happened for me, someone that has never seen your content before. But here I am, all the same.
I think that counts for something, hmm? Be safe and get loved, beautiful person. Your words reached me.
Even the strongest among us can feel weak at times, there's no shame in it. Just do what you can, i like to think that people are capable of more than they see in themselves as after all the future isn't set in stone.
Thank you so much for the super, it means a lot. You're right-- weakness isn't a bad thing. I just think acknowledging the problem is step 1. I need some time to come to terms with a lot of stuff regarding health etc. Being a public figure is so stressful when everything in my life feels like it's crumbling. I know I'll make it through, just need to take it one step at a time and recognize my limitations.
Take however long you need, if what you were dealing with was so easy you probably wouldn't have felt the need to upload this video.
Well said👏👏👏
As a random who just happened to stumble upon this video, honestly I didn’t know what to expect.
I know that you mentioned not wanting any advice and that you just need some time alone, but my conscience can’t exactly sit back whilst I watch someone pour their heart out into a video. I have no idea who you are but whether or not you find this helpful just hear me out.
I’ve spoken to a few folks online with similar situations to yours, they’ve all had a “Breaking Point” in their lives. Maybe content creation isn’t for them, especially when it makes them miserable. If the thing making you happy no longer makes you happy, ITS TIME TO STEP BACK.
You’ve probably already done this, but evaluate your current goals and focus on taking care of yourself mentally and physically. Life shouldn’t be about suffering, but each person suffers differently.
At some point, you have to realize that happiness is temporary and these moments of anguish you’re going through will probably happen more often than you expect. Keeping that in mind, DON’T LOSE HOPE. It’s the thing keeping you alive during the day. It’s a feeling that usually happens when everything has gone wrong in you life.
I’ve had moments where I wonder if anything I do is worth it (And honestly, it might not be). But I’d rather fool myself into believing that things will eventually get better than accept living in a constant state of depression.
The emotional weight of expectations, the ever growing anxiety of being told “It’s not enough” will ALWAYS be there. Our jobs as human beings is to deny that outcome, to deny the idea of mediocrity. To rise above the expectation and achieve unexpected results.
THIS is what it means to be Alive. I’m not telling you this as some sort of motivation jargon, it’s what I genuinely believe to be true. Please take this however you may, I only hope it gives you some sort of clarity in the tough times ahead. Take care and God Bless….
Never apologize for your emotions. I stumbled in here from an into the pit video and YOU make GOOD STUFF! You do infact matter and what you wanna do matters more. So take your time, you deserve the break if this is how you're feeling.
It hurts seeing someone you enjoy watching be in so much distress.
Please take as long as you need to clear your mind. It can be weeks, months, or a year. Yet, I'll still stick around! You are the first VTber I ever decided to watch and keep up with and your community has been such a blast to hang out with!
Don't listen to people who want you to change your content to cater to them. They probably don't even make content. This is YOUR channel and they don't have a say on what you should get done or prioritize.
Plus, we still have the Discord (to any of you reading, you should definitely consider joining). So we can all still gather and continue having fun, even if you aren't posting on UA-cam.
Please take care of yourself and never feel as though all you've done was for nothing. Your content has been super fun to view, and I'll be celebrating on the day you decide to post again! With content YOU'RE happy posting.
Take care and we'll see you until then, Karma! 👋😊 Take care too, Mr. Karma and the kitties! ❤️ We'll all be cheering you on!
Thanks so much for the super as well as the kind words. I'm just going to take a week or two to try and gather myself. I need time to mourn my physical health, and just deal with a lot of stress in my life. Being a content creator is hard because I feel like I'm forced to always smile even when things are hard. Having a mask for so long makes things so difficult... I think being honest with everyone is step 1. I need to reassess some boundaries and stop letting other people get inside my head. I've made lots of steps towards this but I recognize I still have a way to go.
Thanks for the support, and I'll be back soon. Just hang tight. :) I'm going to try and change things for the better.
Time flies when you're busy or stressed. I hope you take advantage of that time to fully destress and come back feeling ready. We'll certainly be ready, too!
(and don't forget to take breaks when you really need them. You're a person, not a machine. Health is always first. No exceptions.)
Take care, y'all. 👋❤ Sending best wishes.
Hm? I wonder why it isn't showing my whole message. Hopefully, it's only on my end!
Still. TAKE CARE, MOM. Bye-bye! 😊
@@ALazyCouchBed it showed on my end! Thanks again for the kind words
And to think I just found your channel with this video. 😢
I am sorry for the hand you have been dealt. You are right. I was struggling to find my words here. I can never attest to the experiences you have been through and I feel as if you are fully valid I'm your feelings.
I think that you are at a crossroads here. More than anything, you need to focus on your mental and physical well-being. If this channel is causing you harm then you have to step away and make time for yourself.
It is so easy to just tell someone to get off of something and just get away. Its much harder if it's something you love and cared for. But now you need to take action. You need to prioritize what is more important for you. I am so sorry of your condition. You earned a new sub.
@jo3y960 I appreciate your kind words. Obviously ove gotten a lot of support, and it means a lot. I'm taking a short break to focus on my health and rethink some things things in regards to my channel. Life has just dealt me some bad cards lately but I'm sure after some rest I'll be okay
@karmunism In my experience, burnout can be a quick and easy way to start hating what you love. Best to come back to it when you're feeling better.
And for the haters you mention, fuck them. People will always want to control or deride for their entertainment. It's your stream, your videos, and your content. Never change yourself to suit some people on the internet.
Good luck!
I also just found this channel through this very video, Sending my thoughts and prayers your way, karm! 🙏 Having what you thought would be a strong support system ripped out from under must be a horrible experience. I'm so sorry this happened. It must be destiny that I was recommended this video, 'cause you need all the support you can get! 💙
same
I don't know what your condition is, but I'm going to subscribe and hopefully you can find the strength to keep pushing forward. I'll be here, looking out for your content and hoping you find your muse to keep creating. For as long as you can keep going, I'll do my best to keep up with you.
There’s isn’t anything I can think, to say. We understand and support you through everything that has happened, we’ll wait until you come back and continue to support you and the channel ❤
You are not replaceable. Please don’t give up!
Thanks a bunch :)
I’m really sorry for what you’re going through i wish you the best and you deserve the best❤️
Thank you for the super I'm feeling better better far now that I'm a week into my break. I'm taking a little longer but I hope to be back to myself by the end of the year. Karma 2025 🎉🎉🎉
@@karmunism i am glad you’re feeling better now i wish you the best
Were here for your karm, please do take a break, you need it, even just a few update videos or even shorts is fine, we love you and your husband does too, i know what i say probably isnt much but we care about you. I know im pretty new but youve made a long lasting impression on me, your persistance despite your illness you keep going for your community and you treat people fairly and give good advice
Thanks a bunch. I'm definitely taking a break for a hard reset. I need to figure out some stuff within myself and then come up with a new approach to things. I want to enjoy youtube again.
This is my first video of yours and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you're going through this. I can definitely see where the frustration comes from. You should just do the stuff that you want to do. I hope that you can find the strength to keep it going and not allow them to win.
It's ok to take a break for yourself. You're honestly one of my favorite streamers and I enjoy your content. I hope this money helps you out. Stay safe and I'll be waiting for your next upload or stream.
Thank you so much for the super. I'm trying my best to get through things, just have taken a lot of Ls lately. I can only laugh it off for so long before I need time to just piece myself back together. To be honest the 1-2 doctor visits a week have been so stressful, especially when appointments are often 3+ hours. I just need some rest that I've been denying myself for a while. I realize running away from the issues doesn't make them go away.
I'll be back soon, and hopefully refreshed.
@karmunism Take all the time you need, you're well being is really important. You have a lot of people who will continue to support you.
I can imagine the stress you're going through and genuinely I wish I could hug ya. The Healthcare system is so screwed, and not to sound parasocial, but I feel peace knowing I relate to you on this. I had to go through hoops just to get decent enough help to pay for my mental health treatments. It's exhausting, it's painful, and for a long time it felt like I was yelling into a void for help that wasn't going to come through. I can't imagine what you're going through and while I can't promise it'll get better, remember you are worthy of basic human dency. You are worthy of love, of happiness, and of a healthy life. It's a long road ahead in life, but you truly are strong because you're letting yourself be vulnerable and real, that's something so many people are afraid of doing! You've got this and I hope you have a good support system that can cheer you on just as much as the comments are!
Just like a few people here, YT just recommended me this exact video, i watched it, then i took some time to check your older vids, and i gotta say i enjoyed your content :), i can't really say if things can get better or not, and to be honest i'm not exactly the best with words, but lemme just say this,
Do what you love, and be yourself
People can be cruel on the internet, and they will be (talking from experience here)
Let those willing to support you for who you really are and what you really enjoy doing be the boost you need to keep going!
(Now if you excuse me, I just found this cool channel called Karmunism and there's a full series on Paper lily, one of my favorite RpgMaker horror projects, so obviously i gotta watch it!)
Thanks so much for the support! On the subject of paper lily, I'm genuinely so excited to see the rest of it. If you're a big rpgmaker fan like me, you might also know Aria's story! It's so good and I haven't played it in forever. That's actually the next game I plan to make a playthrough of :3 I just need a breather, then I want to get back to my roots and play games I like rather than what's trendy
@@karmunism ohh never heard of Aria's Story before, i gotta check it out :D
@dsyokeshi it's heavily inspired by ib! Think ib, but in a library instead of an art gallery. Ib was my favorite out of the classics tbh
@@karmunism ib was my introduction to rpg maker horror and still is one of my favorites as well
@@dsyokeshiThe game is great at setting an atmosphere.
It's very ironic that the moment you're at your worst is when this video gets pushed to more people. Honestly, this video was hard to watch emotionally speaking, but I feel it was worth getting through it. I can only imagine your struggles, but I feel you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to make the content you actually enjoy, and honestly anyone who says your content is boring just isn't your target audience and that's fine. Those who will enjoy your content may very well be guided your way. Best of luck to you.
I’ve never seen your content before, and I can’t say that I’ll watch your other stuff regularly or even at all in the long run. But I will say that all of your feelings are valid. Content creation unfortunately lives and dies on how “entertaining” it is and has little or nothing to do with how smart, cool, or genuine you are as an actual person.
For what it’s worth maybe my engagement and sub will help edge the algorithm to just a little more people to help. It’s all I can really do, but I really do wish you the best. ❤❤
I was just scrolling through my feed and saw you on my recommended list, and let me just say- your mental health is far more important than your analytics will ever be. The fact you're willing to talk about these things, feeling like you want to make the world a better place but feeling like it's destroying you... that's how I know you're a good person at heart. I myself have a mental disorder (autism) and so many of the things you're saying have been the exact things I found myself talking about when I was on the edge of ending it all. I know I'm only looking through a screen, only talking to pixels on the glass, but I want you to know that all these struggles you're going through? All these demons haunting you? I can SEE you. I can connect with these struggles. I can tell the person behind the mask is there, and struggling, and I want to tell you that YOU MATTER.
I know there's inevitably going to be someone being like "sToP bAiTiNg AtTeNtiOn". I know that's a possibility, but the things you've said are too relatable to be anything but true in my eyes. My personal advice is to take a few weeks or months off, algorithm be damned, and see what life feels like away from the screen. You said you feel like a burden on your parents, but trust me when I say you aren't. Want to know how I know that? Because the fact you care so much about the mark you leave behind, you care about the health of people around you, and you'd rather suffer for other people a hundred times over than let a single one suffer for you. I've been taking therapy for years and I still can't shake that self talk either. But the fact that you're tying it to your content creation, that you feel you have to obey the algorithm, makes that feeling so much worse.
Honestly, and I'm just spitballing here- if you want to make a difference in the world, being able to talk about stuff like this online is the mark of some of my favorite content creators. Jacksepticeye does these kind of talks a lot, talking about his mental health in such a genuine way it inspires others to come forwards with their own stories. Perhaps (from my total outsider point of view, anyways) the path to breaking free from the algorithm while carving out a niche is being able to talk about your mental struggles and helping people relate to each other. Maybe you could talk about experiences you've had, talk about how they've affected you (though probably leave out specifics) and just make helping each other out the signature of your community.
BUT.
If you're feeling like that could leave you too vulnerable to others preying on you (which is totally valid) that might not be for you. Whatever way you choose, though, just know that by talking about this I saw myself reflected in your experiences. You've earned a subscriber from me, and I'll definitely be spending the rest of my day pinging your content. Because honestly? It's the people who say they're actually burden on others, the ones who feel like they bring everyone down- those people are always the exact opposite in every single experience I've had with them.
Sorry for the long message, but you've really touched a heart today. I may be a random person on the internet to you, but that doesn't make you any less of a person than me. Keep your chin up, have faith that it gets better (because it will, and trust me from my own near-death experience on that) and know that you matter.
im really bad at comforting people also first time viewer but what i will say is everybody is rooting for you to feel better take as many breaks as you want play games you want stream whenever you want i hope you can have brighter days you matter your awesome life is hard these days people are hard to deal with these days i havent been feeling well in a while either but thats where a small circle should support eachother fuck the haters keep cooking videos keep trying dont give up hope!!! YOUR GOING TO GROW!!! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!
Thanks!
Thank you for sharing! My lovely wife has ongoing health issues. I sympathize, try to take it slow. To be broken can be the start of emotional healing.
Hey i just found you today and i don’t know you but im so sorry this is what you’re going through, whatever you end up doing after this i hope you’re able to be happy doing it, i hope your able to achieve your dreams and if anyone tries to make you do things you dont want to, screw them they dont know what theyre talking about just do whatever makes you happy, cheers!
This is my first time noticing your channel. I saw it as a suggestion/recommendation on the list on the right side. Self-care is very important. I think you have the right idea to take some space for the sake of your (mental) health. I genuinely hope things get better for you. 💜
Karma dont listen to all of them. You are worth every ounce of yourself. You do great and you make me and im sure many others feel good watching your content and streams. It makes my day to watch your stuff and talk to you. Life does all of tjis but you have redeeming qualitys. Stay strong. Cause you are so so strong
Life is hard. It really is. And everyone struggles you aswell..but no human is replaceable. But you are so so strong. All you can do is keep kicking. Take time if you need it. The ones who truly deeply care will stay by your side. You are a strong amazing creator. Weather you stop or you continue you will have my lasting support. For you and mister karma and all the cats. I really wish I could give a girl hug. But virtual will have to work.😊❤please stay strong!
Listen: idk if you'll see this, but I just had to say something. I don't usually comment that often and I want to remind you that you're not alone... I personally understand. If I were in your shoes, I would've been frustrated reading the previous sentence, but I'm in a slightly better mindset now, so please give me the benefit of the doubt. I admit I don't know your circumstances, but speaking from my own experiences- I'd like to think I'm doing a lot, yet I alone feel like I'm not actually doing anything. My self esteem is terrible, so you might be asking why I'm even saying all this. I want you to know that just because I'm dealing with similar struggles doesn't mean I judge you for not being the same. On the contrary, I want you to feel accepted, warmth, and love. This is the first video I've seen of you, and I'm so blessed to have come across it. If I was able to resonate with you, feel free to respond ^^ I want to know how you're doing, I'm a week late to the upload anyways haha
Hey, this is my first video I’ve seen on your channel, and I think what’s even crazier is how much I can relate as I feel I’m in the same exact place as you. I’m in a trade (automotive) that I started as a fun hobby, now I’m at a point where I’m good enough to earn an income but I hate it. Everyone wants to boss me around because I’m young (20), yet still rely on me for knowledge or help. I have too down medicine to help with my bad back from an accident I was involved in and I just feel like I’m kicking and screaming inside for everyone to just leave me the hell alone. I already struggle hard with depression and trauma, I feel like I’m a burden even to those closet to me at all times.
If it helps you at all, just know you aren’t alone. You seem to have a very loving core audience who will always be here too accept and love you. After this video I plan on checking out a lot of your content that you already have produced. I actually like that you upload videos since I generally prefer to watch videos than streams, and rpg maker stuff is always appealing.
I am not sure if you’ll ever read see this comment let alone read it, but if you do I hope you have better times ahead of you and don’t give up!
Also I’m not generally a very emotional person but damn.. hearing you getting upset towards the end there really put me in my feels. I’m not sure if it’s because of just how relatable certain topics are (especially just wanting too sleep and never wake up, feeling like a burden, feeling like I can’t win) I don’t know… I really just hope for better times for you and that you can get back too a point where you enjoy what you are doing. No one deserves to be made to feel like this when they just wanna make videos and stream sometimes.
I really hope things get better for you. Actually my husband is a mechanic and in a similar situation. He's expected to take over his dad's business and it's been a huge stressor on him. Everything you said is stuff he comes home and tells me about. It's so sad.
We all have our battles to face, and they suck tbh. Being young is awful because someone always has something negative to say. Someone is always nitpicking. The world is kind of falling apart around us and a lot of times we get treated like it's our fault and not the fault of our circumstances or the state of the world.
I love what I do in content creation but with everyone wanting to do it, that means a lot of people have criticism. Just because I'm not necessarily doing the popular thing I have people always up my ass. I know I'm capable. I know I can do it. I just want people to shut up and let me do my own thing, which I'm sure you understand based on your comment.
I hope things get better. I know it sucks and it shouldn't be like this but eventually you'll prove your worth in the industry. We shouldn't have to prove our value just to get respect, but unfortunately that's how the world works.
Thanks for commenting and supporting. We're all in the same boat to some extent and I hope there's happier days for all of us ahead.
@@karmunism Thanks for the kind words Karma, it really does put ease me a bit too know that others understand the struggles I’m going through too some degree. It’s just so saddening that I have put my entire life behind doing something that makes me miserable more days than not. I’m 20 and just got done doing an engine job and then a transmission and people still bitch and are up my ass. It always “you didn’t do blah blah blah right” and I’m told I’m an asshole when I tell them I don’t care and didn’t ask for their opinion on me. Also told I won’t grow with that attitude but I really just don’t care abt what they have too say and just want too do my job and be happy, like is that a crime now?
Also trust me I get people wanting too give unsolicited advice and not shutting the fuck up and letting do my own thing. Apparently everyone really does have to have an opinion on everything. I’ve just stared to kind of take everything day by day but it’d be really nice if everyone could just leave me alone. I’m sure you know exactly how it feels.
I hope you and your husband do find enjoyment and peace and I will support you in your endeavors as a content creator. I can see that you put a lot into what you do and I value that and being honest is also a very good trait. You shouldn’t have too feel pressured into doing things that you just don’t want to. Not everyone needs to be the same. Everyone should just be themselves and I think the world may be better off for it
I've seen my oshi go through something similar. She was depressed because of the numbers and people talking bad about her etc. All you need to know is that you will never make every one happy. It just doesn't happen.
Content creators have to try their hardest to ignore the haters, but it's like having a black spot on a brand new tv. Its hard to ignore. With time you'll get thicker skin.
Stay true to your roots and you'll end up fine.
Prioritize mental health alright.
I love how you phrase that-- it's like dead pixels on a brand new TV. You're right, I can look around them and I know it's not that bad, but it's hard to entirely ignore. And as soon as I notice them I can't help but feel a bit disappointed seeing as I spent so much on this "TV". I know my skin will get thicker over time, just gotta make it to that point.
I just found you today and I'm sorry you're going through all that. I wish I could do more than just post a comment and watch a video, but you should do exactly what you want to do. Stream what you want to stream. You don't deserve all this stress and pain and I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know that you've gained a subscriber and I'm here for the ride.
UA-cam algorithm doing something weird. I hate to see smaller creators be snuffed out like cigarettes. I've been in a similar position lately, I'm still waiting on a perfect opportunity to go see a psychiatrist. But it's how it is, you can't have fun, you can't enjoy what made yourself you. I don't know what medical conditions you have that put a strain on everyone around you, honestly feels like a candle that's nearly out of wax. You have a right to feel this way, I hope you find the strength to carry on.
I'm a recent sub and watch what I can of your content and I enjoy it. I hope you continue to upload when you can/want to, things that you like so the enjoyment you get from making it can be felt by those watching. Take however long you need to decide where you want to take your channel, something that i do myself is to take things one day at a time and after long enough I'm further along and feel less anxiety about what seemed insurmountable when looking at everything as a whole. You're not evil or wrong for wanting to do things your way and not be told what to do, it's your channel and sadly it happens often enough that most people tend to have no back seating as a rule.
Do whatever you feel is best for you and when you want to upload again the people will watch it. I'm not a content creator so feel free to ignore this bit but maybe there's a happy middle ground where experimenting with different interests can lead to things that can do better on the channel *and* be something you enjoy too. Regardless, I'll be happy to see what you put out
I’ve never seen you before, but I’m glad I found you.
I’ve been trying to write a comforting comment for 25 minutes now, but I can’t find the words. I don’t know you well enough and I’m not so great at consoling people in the first place.
I will say, though, not to force yourself into doing what you don’t want to do. What’s the point in being successful if you hate your success, after all.
I wish you well, in everything 🤍
[Sorry if my english is bad it not my first language]
Hey there im so sad that i have to found your channel like this, this is the first video i seen from you and i really hope things will turn better for you and i hope i could help at least just a little.
I completely understand what you say i myself been strugling lately but lets hope the future hold something better for you and dont ever give up who you are there are people who will love the real you.
Keep being your amazing self because despite everything you still going and you are still here.
The best of luck to you and i hope you will find youir happiness.
Thank you for the super! I appreciate the kind words, and I hope you get to feeling better soon. We all have struggles, but it's possible to overcome them with time
When I first found ya I didn’t really think you were boring! It was quite the opposite actually. I thought you were interesting and very nice! Always happy and full of energy despite your condition. Always trying to cater to your viewers, but sadly we can’t please everybody. After everything that has happened I think you’re an incredibly strong person for dealing with all this. I would hate to see you go permanently but of course your mental and physical health comes FIRST! Hopefully you can get some much needed rest and rekindle your passion ! We will be waiting for you! ❤
Hey, so this is the 1st video I see from you. Subbed because RPG Maker games rock and I think being open and honest about our issues is cool. 💜
You don't have to be a beacon of positivity. Your frustration is valid. I actually really like the honesty and transparency here. You should do whatever the hell you want to do.
First time seeing your videos and I don't really know what to say. I would try comfort you but I don't know if I can…I genuinely wish I could help…I’m so sorry that you are being treated like this for having fun and doing what you like…no one should have a say in your life it's yours to enjoy not theirs to control…I hope that everything gets better because you deserve better
This is the first time I saw your channel and all I have to say is, that I'm sorry for what you have to go through! Getting forced to do things that you don't like and not be yourself is wrong and of course, you gonna ended up depressed. You should always be yourself and do things that you love and make you happy! I wish you nothing but the best to feel better soon and taking a break is a good start!
This made me cry. Really hard.
I’m not a viewer of yours nor have I seen any content of yours prior to this video but I just want you to know that I see you, and I hear you, and you’re not an evil person.
Also rpgmaker especially rpgmaker horror games are my absolute favorite games to play and I think it’s reaally cool to find a creator who also loves playing my favorite games.
The internet, especially content creation, can really get to you. I’m not a creator myself but I would also take a break if this was happening to me. People….. especially online, can be terrible sometimes. I don’t want to invalidate your experiences but I would also like to say that letting go of such people is fine if it makes you happy. Do what makes you happy. Again, I don’t really know how hard this is for you but I just wanted to say that you have a choice between conformity and doing what you love regardless of what others might think or say.
I think of game ending myself regularly and having no hope. I find that there’s really no easy way to get out of that cycle of thinking. Some times I end up harming myself, sometimes I just sleep and forget. However I find that gravitating things I love helps, even if just a little bit. It helps me forget the bad things and not get overwhelmed.
Hopefully my little comment reaches you and I hope it was able to make you feel even a tad bit better. 💜💜🫶🏻🫶🏻
I can't tell you it will everything will be fine. I wish I could but I can't. The amount of pressure you face everyday is something I understand but only to the extent that someone not there can. I just want you to know that you are an amazing person. Please take the time you need to help your mental health and just know you will have my support
I hope things get better for you soon. It's far easier said than done, but just doing what makes you happy is the best thing to do. People who come and try to get you to change don't want what's best for you, and even if you do change, they're not likely to stick around. Again, easier said than done, but just being yourself and making whatever makes you happy will bring an audience- one that is actually loyal. I really hope things pick up for you soon, you seem like a very strong and kind person :)
Your audience, the ones who really care, will still be around when you return, but I hope the break you take brings you peace and clarity. I didn't know you did rpgmaker game content, I would love to see some whenever you return, if you choose to. I believe in you though, you are one of the vtubers that have inspired me to want to eventually become one myself. I hope this does not come off as parasocial but I relate to having chronic pain that will never get better, and I hope that I can have half the resilience you do. Wishing you nothing but the best.
I’m sorry I found your channel through this and I’m not sure you’ll read this but if you continue uploading videos I will be here to watch them
From the sounds of it, getting it all out at once like this was the only good choice. You did the right thing taking a break to sort things out, and I really hope you can find a healthier way to do what you love, so that you can keep going.
I'm sorry you feel this way it sucks that people are saying that you need to do what we are doing but you want to do your own thing that takes guts to do that and if they keep pushing you that way it gets hard. Having the heart to speak up about says alot about you and your character. Having ADD and ADHD I went through the same shit you are going through. Keep your head high and your heart in the things you love to do. Wishing you the best.❤❤
I just found your channel, and this video hits hard. I can relate more than I ever thought I would. Taking a break isn't a bad thing, especially if it's to help yourself or reignite your passion for what you like. I don't know who's telling you these horrible things, but those people aren't your fans, friends, or even people who want to see you succeed. They're sad, scared individuals who are jealous because, as small of a creator that you are, you're doing something that they wish they could do but are too scared to do it. So they take their anger out on you. Even the ones that mean well don't realize what they're doing. Some of my favorite Is content creators ( vtubers or not) are the ones that do their own thing. Regardless of how big the subscriber count is there happy and it that in turn makes it fun to watch them. All I can say is that I hope you can fine your passion once again. Because the people who truly do enjoy your content want nothing but the best for you and are more than willing to wait for you to come back, I can promise you that. Whatever happens, I honestly hope you find your happiness.You find your passion for this once again and that you take care of yourself. I'm gonna take this opportunity to watch your old videos. UA-cam recommended me your channel, this video for a reason. Maybe it was to leave this really long comment or maybe it was to help me realize things through your situation. Whatever the case, I truly hope things get better for you. 🫂
I wish I could offer something to help, but overall I'm sorry you're having to suffer through all of that. Thank you for sharing this with your viewers, and I hope they can offer you comfort.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much pain. I wish I could say something that would make things better, but I don't know what to say. Honestly, I'm new to your channel.
I hope that, despite everything, things get better in your life.
Well, I really appreciate you being here. :) I'll be back to the usual, I just need a minute to have a hard reset. I need to come to terms with my physical health, as well as rethink some stuff on my channel. I need to find my direction and passion again, because somewhere along the way I think I dropped it. 2025 will be my year, at least I hope.
Never fun to find someone new on this site through videos like these. It's a damn bitter dose of irony when the alg decides to pick something up as someone is at their wits' end over how the site makes them feel. I'm sorry that something you started for fun is being tainted by the expectations that being "content" brings along with it. I hope you can get back in tune with your passions. It sounds like you really need it given the circumstances.
If it winds up taking you back here eventually, I'll try to make a point to stop by. Assuming this interest still holds true by then, RPGMaker games hold a special place in my heart after having grown up watching countless videos of them back in their golden era. The genre probably has claim to a large portion of the most memorable experiences I've had gaming, all in spite of the limitations the format imposes. It's a mine filled to brimming with hidden gems, and I love to see people exploring it even today.
If you ever need someone to back you up or help you get distracted im here. I get the feeling, you are strong. You just need time for yourself or with friends, taking a day or a week wont make us forget you, we will just miss you and be happy your caring for yourself. You got this no matter what ❤️
This is the first video I've seen by you and I'm in tears because I can actually relate, kinda. all I ever do is work as my health slowly deteriorates from chronic illness. I didn't get anything I wanted to do actually done, and I don't have any energy left for the stuff I like to do. I'm a loner on top of that and nothing I ever do is enough. I even relate to wanting everyone to shut up (It doesn't mean you're a bad person t means you're tired of feeling this horrible). You're not a crybaby I'm a grown man who cries over this type of stuff too. I hope you see this, if you don't quit I'll be your new fan, and if you do (or take a break) I want you to go out of your way to play the games you find fun. Even though your basically an internet stranger love you because I couldn't allow myself to see someone feel this horrible who's basically a mirror reflection of how I felt. Everyone calling you a b word is soo wrong too!
I don't want you to quit either even if things get worse I know your fans will try to cheer you up. I Barley know you but almost broke down writing this (maybe I am crybaby). I hope you keep going cause no one is going to replace you!
im sorry that you're feeling this way, Karma. and i am sorry that this is the video that I discovered you on. sending as much love as i can your way. and no, you are not replaceable. you are you, you are amazing in your own way, and nothing and noone can replace you. its okay to feel all of these emotions, you are not a crybaby for doing so. i know theres only so much i can say and do that could help. but i hope taking a break and taking as much time as you need for yourself will do good. the internet is full of assholes, but there are also plenty of us here who genuinely care about you and wish you the best. much love
This is how I've found you, and I just want to say that as a very small content creator myself, I can see where you're coming from. I won't pretend that I completely understand how you're feeling, but I do want to let you know that you deserve to be happy and to do what makes you happy. I'm sorry it's gotten to this point. Please take all the time you need to take care of yourself before anything else. If you do decide to come back someday, I hope it's on your own terms, in your own way. I hope I'll be here to see it. May you be smiled upon.
I have no idea of how much you've gone through, but I can empathise with a lot of what you said here. I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something. You've done well putting yourself out there, just from this video I think the way you speak and think about things shows you're intelligent. Being able to express yourself is also really important, I can tell that you really needed to get this out and I hope it helped. I wish there was more I could do.
I wish I found your content sooner, don’t listen to anybody who tells you “do and do not”, people like that don’t care about you as a person if they say that stuff, you SHOULD do what you love, play what you like, be who YOU want to be, and if the people who complain don’t like that, they can leave.
You have just gained a new subscriber today, and I can’t wait to see what comes next,
And tbh, RPG maker games are great, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!
as another person who found you through this, i express sorrow for your overall state. so many people apologizing for being miserable it's overwhelming.
take as long of a break as you need, and don't let outside expectations define anything ahead of your passions. you deserve far better.
Hi,
Like many people here, I’m witnessing your channel for the first time
Sometimes life sucks for me too, I have also had days where I want to do nothing but lie in bed and days where I just feel really really sad😵💫
But you are wayyyyy stronger than you think, you’re here to share your interests with us despite the ongoing issue with your life. That kind of strength is very special
Even if only a few people watch your streams compared to someone with millions of followers, that doesn’t make you any less interesting to watch. Only if a few thousand watch you regularly , they are here for YOU and your interests
I hope that you’ll have the strength to overcome any obstacle life throws at you, because you are, indeed, that strong
Stay safe, and remember.
Be kind of yourself
IDK how this will be taken but I geniunely hope the best for you. You are a person that matters. I can't imagine how much stress you had to endure for it to get to this. It sucks that outta the video you have out, this is the one that gets recommended to me and the one i clicked because you shouldn't have this huge weight crushing you. Do what you need to take care of yourself and make yourself happy, if it's RPGmaker horror games then so be it. Again I hope things get better for you and you find the motivation to continue that will make you happy.
its my first time of watching this video of yours & i'm so sorry what your going through you deserve a break & don't let people tell you what they want & hope you get some rest & get well
I got recommended this video, never seen you before. As a fellow Vtuber of a vaguely similar size (you're definitely larger), I can severely relate. I don't really have great advice to give, we're going through similar struggles, but I really want you to know that you aren't alone.
I wanna say a lot of things for you right now. I know you probably want to be left alone and usually every comment sends an email and I hate that that happens Everytime someone comments on something if someone wants to be left alone but I hope this reaches you in time so there's gonna be a lot of words. I really appreciate you sharing your true feelings and emotions. Never be afraid to do so. I'm getting so sick of everyone getting mad at people like you or people who are needing to put on this false provoto and blunder to make everyone else happy. It's really upsetting how so many people need to act like dumb negative toddlers on iPads commenting the most obscene words to someone just because you set boundaries or do something someone doesn't like. They cannot be reasonable or excuse themselves and be rude as hell just because one doesn't like this game or that game. If you don't like the content dont view it. I understand where you are coming from at your point. It's really upsetting. And I honestly have a hella lot of respect for you. And no it's not out of pity but I honestly appreciate this video. I reasoned with this a lot. So many people online are so negative anymore that it really gets to a lot of people. Just like the ironmouse situation where she won over the title of most subs on twitch. People lost it on tik Tok and said "this thing won against Kai?" That's a real person behind a Vtuber often for privacy reasons. She's literally sick. She cannot go outside due to her condition. It's always the Vtubers who are sick normally that get the most hate on top of having to deal with health issues or controversy or drama. It's sad. Now I cannot relate to those health issues but ever since Biden went into office and prices for everything and I flatiron. That stuff hits like a bullet and costs too much for anything anymore. People are slowly dying or losing it. I hate that I never found you sooner but I for sure will view your videos out of respect. Again I appreciate and love you for making this video. It's almost impossible to show emotions for most people and we all bottle it up. I have ADHD and OCD and really bad anxiety but I will not compare it to anything here because I don't know you on a personal level. I wish I could give you a big hug through the screen rn. I hope you get well soon and continue what you love. Remember what impact you had on some people that is positive. I know it's hard to put it behind you. But letting the bad kids out of the orchard get to you isn't healthy. Who cares what they have to say. I may not like some games because modern games suck compared to old nostalgic ones to me. But I'm not gonna hate on you for playing something you love. Stay safe alright! Again thank you for making this video. This actually made me emotional and this is probably the biggest comment I ever made on any video and I hope it saves. Stay safe alright? If you quit vtubing or gaming at least try to do what you enjoy outside of it alright? Hope you get better soon. ❤️
i want to offer you such a big, warm hug.. i feel exactly the same way you do, i can't even get my start from the same feelings!! i don't think it's your fault, sweet streamer, i think this is a heartbreaking side effect of the current state of the world. i know it's easier said than done, but please take this as my invitation not to blame yourself for what's happening. you deserve to be able to relax and manage your energy the way that best matches your needs.
47 year old here. Like a lot of others I just got rec'd this video seemingly randomly.
I've been through a lot of BS in my life - I've been told my life could have been a made-for-TV movie with all the insanity I've experienced. I'm not going to sit here and write platitudes and tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and such, because frankly, I don't know if it is or not. What I CAN tell you is, that uncertainty? The fact that you honestly don't know what's going to come tomorrow, whether it's going to be a windfall or a disaster? That is EXACTLY WHY you need to follow your own heart and your own passion EVERY SINGLE DAY. Because you just don't know how many you have left.
There are millions of people out there consuming content - the VAST MAJORITY of them are probably not going to like you or what you like. That's fine. It's not because anything you do is wrong or anything you like is bad, it's just the reality of millions of free people who have their own thoughts, opinons and experiences. You didn't connect with this one? No worries. Let them move along to something else. Don't waste your time or energy on them, they're not a part of your life. Instead, just keep doing what you love. If there's one thing authentic people can detect, it's another authetic person, and your passion for what you truly love will do more to help you connect with those people than anything else you could display. You'll attract people who love what you love, who'll be supportive and help keep your passion alive. It might be slow, one here and a few there, but who cares, right? One worthwhile person in your life is worth a thousand window shoppers who will move on to the next thing whenever the trends change. One person tell you 'Hey, I love what you do, keep it up!' is worth a million 'Ehh, I dunno, if you just streamed THIS you'd have more subs...'.
You know what your goals are, and it sounds to me like your head and heart are both in the right place. Keep doing what you love. If that's making content about a video game three people have played, do it. If it's quitting the internet and going off the grid to live in a cabin, do it. Don't waste what time you have messing around with what other people want from you. It's not worth it. Hell I spent years of my life building two video games from the ground up that only.. maybe three people total have ever even played, and that's fine. I didn't make them so other people would like them, I made them because I wanted to make games ever since I was a child. And I did. Mission accomplished, right?
Anyway, you got my sub because you truly do seem like an authentic person who wants to follow their passion, and to me, those are the people who deserve support the most. I don't even know if I like your content, but I know I support your goals, and that's all I need to know.
Please keep being unapologetically you. The world needs more of that.
This is just a UA-cam comment but man this is some powerful stuff. God Bless you man :)
I wanna let you know that you are amazing and deserve a hug you are deserving of good things
this has been in my four-page and after a while and listening I hope you feel better mentally and physical take a long break if you have too take each step slowly before coming back because health and life matters more
you got this im rooting and praying for you please take it slow
I'm sorry that you have to go through this and I hope it goes away in time and I hope it goes away before you can even say
I’ve been here for a long time since TikTok and I’m always here for you Karma and I hope all of your fans are here to help and I hope we can help you with this
i am trying to hold tears after watching this, im not good with words but try to hang in there much love from finland ❣❤❤🩹
I think you’re wise to take a step back and do what you think you need to do for yourself. I haven’t gone through what you are, but I know the feeling of experiencing something painful that nobody else around you understands or appreciates and hearing them tell you what you’re doing wrong and how you could just fix it or to just get over it when that’s not how it works
I hope this doesn’t sound preachy, I just want you to know that I, even being just some random stranger on the internet, care about you and want you to do what’s best for you, physically and mentally. Take all the time you need; I’m gonna go check out some old RPG maker videos from your channel
This is extremely sad to hear, I'm sorry that things are so bad right now and I'm just a random person online, so I doubt I can say anything that helps, but I hope you're able to find some peace and comfort in whatever you decide to do going forward.
In the last part, she said, "I only want to have fun and what I am passionate about." I felt that and I understand why because what we are talented about and what we want to do to have fun is the thing to have our escapism, and we never get what we want it. This is really unfair for her. Healthcare dose Nothing to help us for. 😢😢😢
Hey Karma, this is the first time I seen your video and I just want to say that doing this for almost 2 years while being in pain is very very admirable, I just want you to know this video inspired me to do better with my life, thank you and I hope you come back 10x stronger. get well soon 🙏.
It always come across a video when it’s almost about this. And what I can say is, let those people who are mad stay mad, if they aren’t happy what you’re doing then let them stay mad. You keep up doing what your heart tells you to do. Do it how you would do and take that path. Never let negativity hold you down, never let people who are yelling at you what to do, you aren’t in their control. You are in your own control in what you do. Become better in the experience you gather and push forward. People will laugh, cry, get mad along with you on your journey in making videos. Just like the Robinson’s movie “Keep moving forward”.
Take as long as you need. (I just got out of being admitted for the second time this year--which is good compared to some previous years. I'm trying harder to physically dodge housemates...) Just I hope you know I love that you're here, talking to us, and would like you to keep at the forefront the escape and hobbyist aspects of vtubing. What it has has done for your emotional health, and not what anyone's trying to tell you you need to do to be beeeeeeg. Please don't take this as unsolicited advice--it's just something I wanted to say. Best wishes, Karmunism.
I discovered you through this Karma, and I just want to say, you have made a subscriber and viewer out of me. Everything you’ve said really struck a chord in me, and I’m going to do what I can to light the end of the tunnel for you. Take a break, step back, even go offline completely if you need to. In the meantime, I’ll be watching the content you’ve worked so hard to make.
I've never seen you before, but I'm glad this video popped into my feed. My heart hurts for you. I'm not a very emotional person, but i feel your pain, and am tearing up. When you mentioned the bottle of pills...i understand that feeling all too well. I will say prayers for you, Ms Karma. I subbed, and plan on checking out your previous videos. Please take care of yourself.
Karma I’m so sorry you been feeling this way!! You are amazing and I hope you can create in ways that you love!! I know if you deleted your channel I would miss your work a lot. If you do take a break I won’t forget you.
I’d rather you do what makes you happy as I sub for you.
As someone also struggling with health I know completely how you feel! Your feelings are so so valid!!!
It’s ok to take each day at a time right now. You don’t owe us happiness or to present yourself in a certain way. You are enough as you are.
I hope you can do your plans and dreams one day and if you need help don’t be scared to reach out.
Hey, I just stumbled upon your channel and I understand mental health issues. I’m going through mental issues myself, and I like to think of being a UA-camr as a hobby. I really hope things get better for you; I’ll keep you in my prayers
I had this crash out a few times in my life, and having to detach is never a good feeling but it made me see those who truly care will never leave you, your roots, know who they are and cherish them just as much as those who are only here briefly in our lives. You will be missed around here, and we can't wait to see the person you always wanted to be. Till then, you take care of yourself.
This just randomly got recommended to me, but I just want to say… thank you for sharing your honest feelings. I don’t have a degenerative disease, so I can’t imagine what you must be going through… but I have felt like I’m a fraud before, and I’m still dealing with that imposter syndrome like “maybe everyone would be better off if I weren’t in the picture.” I know how much effort it takes to not believe that. You seem like a really genuine person, and I’m going to subscribe in hopes I see you upload or stream your passions again. Even if I may not be into indie horror, I understand having a passion that you think people hate. Please keep following your dreams, because I know that if you have a passion, other people do too. I hope I see you upload or stream again, and if not, I hope you do well with your future endeavors.
This might be a lot from a complete stranger, so I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. But from one struggling human to another, I love you, and you matter more than you think.
I just got recommended this video and I’m not really familiar with your content and I don’t really know how to talk to people when they’re going through stuff. All I know is that you deserve to be happy. If you want to make a certain type of content or change something, then do it. Just remember that no matter what type of content or how amazing and entertaining you are, there will always be people that complain about how “you’re doing it wrong“ or “this game you love sucks”. But for every one of these loud and vocal people I imagine that there’s five silent ones that love and enjoy your content. I wish you the absolute best and hope things improve for you.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm not a content creator but a lot of this hit home. I hear your pain and i hope that whatever things can get better for you do get better. You DO deserve to be happy, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ❤
Karma. It's ok. Take a fucking break. We'll be here. Please stay safe man... Even if you don't post for a while, even if you don't stream for a whole, as long as YOU are happy, then we're fine with it. Don't push yourself to do stuff for random people you don't even know. I really hope you just, let yourself rest. Please, just take a rest... Maybe even a hiatus... And when you get back, we'll welcome you with open arms, ok? I hate it to see people being chewed up mentally like this. I've said my part, thank you for you reading this.
And, don't forget, you still have us on Discord anyways!
- Lucid
I'm definitely taking a mini break. Was supposed to have a week long break last month but then anilive happened and ruined it all. Just constant Ls lately with my health and stuff. It's a lot to take in mentally and I just feel so overwhelmed. Need some time to breathe.
@karmunism I'm just a random person, some guy that found your channel one day. Now I'm providing emotional support. And I'm glad I'm able to be there to support you, even if I only know bits and pieces of your life. Don't let content define who you are man. Let YOU define you. See you later man
*agreed* 👍🏼
I'm not really sure what to say, and I'm not gonna just try and cheer you up, but I do enjoy watching you have fun when I can and you definitely deserve to be happy and play things that are fun for you, I guess just take a break and forget the haters and just do what sounds fun cause I'm gonna stay for as long as you upload 👍 and I am sorry that you going through so much just remember there are those here that enjoy what you do when it makes you happy 👍
I've bathed depression my whole life I've felt everything you've said here
I don't know you or you specific situation, but you mentioned you feel your a burden on your family, that means you have someone close to you. Open up to someone anyone
Nothing you do is wrong you matter think about what you want what would make YOU happy or at least less unhappy and take that step
Also anything I'm suggesting is BSi don't know you and everyone is different just try to remember there's always tomorrow, there's always another chance another try there's nothing stopping you from doing something again or trying it a different way later with new insight and a nights sleep(and cry)
Try one thing at a time or try a bunch of things at once or if you want to stop doing stuff that isn't your thing you have it a try you don't like it and your going back to doing what you know you like it's not a failure it's just finding out about something new that you don't care for
This my first vid and i I'm going to sub i hope catch more vids you post in future of whatever you decide on screw whatever everyone else wants and don't look at your numbers for a while those always dip when you change content and no point in worrying about stuff being your control
You matter, okay? You deserve more than a break, but the world. Let those who bring you down just to do so be damned. I hope for the best for you.
First of your videos ive seen and i must say the raw genuine honesty is something many will appreciate. I think being your true self wether irl or even streaming especially is hard for many. Talking, doing, enganging in things you find enjoyable is something that makes you happy and there should be no problem with that. Ill recommend this guy called Dr K who makes videos and i find them helpfull. Anyway i think its fine to take a break and if anything just know you gained a new fan today.
Thanks :) I've always prided myself on my transparency, as I know a lot of creators are dishonest in more ways than one. Being myself makes it hard to grow sometimes, but I feel like it makes the community I do have so much more powerful. I know people like me for the real me, not BS. I've just been growing a lot REALLY fast and the learning curve has been intense. I'll get there one day.
So sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it. There is no faster road to burn out, than chasing the latest trend all the time, or anything else for that matter, if that's not a thing you enjoy doing. That's fine, it's more than okay, to stick to whatever your passions are. If that means people don't really want to stick around for it, that's okay too, you don't need them. They weren't here for you, they were here for themselves. I'd rather have a small tight-knit community that actually cares about the creators and not just the content, anyways. Just be mindful of the opposite end of that spectrum though, as turning something you enjoy into a job can really make you hate that thing later on and burn out too. Mix something different in from time to time, if/when you feel you need to for yourself. It still has to be something you enjoy, of course. Rest up, take your time, and when you're ready, get back to the content you actually love again. Have a great rest of your night
one important thing i would like to say is that there will always be people out there who care about you. not just what you do or anything else, but who will deeply appreciate you for who you are. finding those people and sticking close by might help ease the pain or make it feel less pointless, though i dont want to minimize your experience by saying that. it may not seem like there is any happiness in the future, but you can find it. ive struggled a lot with mental health and suicidal ideation, but finding those who genuinely care has made things a lot better. it hasnt fixed everything, but i feel like i have a place in the world, which has helped immensely. good luck out there.
I only discovered you through this video (it's ironic how the algorithm works, isn't it?...), and I listened to every moment of it, beginning to end. I have no unsolicited advice, and maybe few words (probably in a jumbled-up soup as usual with me), only an ear. Your feelings and thoughts are completely valid, as well as your desire to do what makes your heart sing. I hope that whichever road you decide to take leads to greater happiness and fulfillment, whether it's taking a temporary or permanent break, or going against the grain should you decide to return (because judging by what you've expressed here, the shift you've taken isn't fun or sustainable). I'm here with you on this one (as a former and very brief creator), it really sucks that if you want to reach a sustainable and growing audience, you almost always have to play a tug of war game between what you want and what the system demands for you to do. Artists can never catch a break, you know? People should never be shamed for following their dreams and passions. Take care of yourself, and only come back if you decide continuing this is right for you, and there will be no judgment (at least from me, and I hope much of your audience) if you decide to move on instead. Your mental and physical health matter above all else. Wishing you love and happiness, Dark Sun
Its horrible that this is my first video from you. I cried the whole way through and i can imagine its so so much worse for you. Im going to watch some of your older stuff today and at least be here upon your return. Be safe and take time to take care of yourself❤
i’m so sorry man, this whole process is just, hell. I can’t even imagine how much pain you feel, and i don’t want to say things will get better. But i do hope they do get better, i am so so sorry, you deserve the best, your interests are awesome and i think you’re a genuine person. please take a break if you need it. Please don’t think you’re selfish, we all have had thoughts like this and it’s not wrong for you to want peace. I hope you find that peace
I have MS, and I've kinda' been dealing with it for over a decade. I'm mostly bedridden, no family to help/care, so... yeah... I totally feel this. Unfortunately I don't have a solution, either. But I can/do commiserate.
I have MS too, actually. I'm recently diagnosed which was a battle in itself, and I just started treatment about a month ago which has been rough on top of the other health issues I have.
I'm so sorry you don't have support. I'm extremely lucky to have my husband and family but even with that support net I can't help but feel like a burden most of the time. I know they don't think that way, but I feel so pathetic not being able to do anything for myself. Just in the last 4 years I've went from an athlete and performer to using a cane and researching wheelchairs. Life just feels like it's spiraling out of control sometimes and it's really hard to have a positive social media presence when I'm struggling with so much offline.
I really wish you the best, and I hope you're able to find a solid support net. There's so many people out there, especially vtubers, who make content due to their disabilities. It's a great medium to be able to express yourself and have some sort of social life while being stuck in bed. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way.
I hope things get better for everyone, not just myself. Life sucks sometimes and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't. Regardless though, gotta keep moving.
It's never great being put under a microscope like what youre going through, being stressed and yanked around by people about what you can and can't do, when it's you who should be in crontrol... I really do hope things turn around for your for the better, mentally and physically. I know it has to be a long road, but you honestly deserve the break that you need from all of this. Not to mention, but you'll still have people who will wait for you to comeback and hope for you to return but better than before!
I... Am sorry you are dealing with a lot. I just found this video from ya here, I may check out your stuff from here... But I will say I do kinda see the struggle you have. I feel pain, the inner pain of being unable to help my family, to feel like a burden, to feel like you can't handle anything, to wish you can do something and show the world that you are stronger then you think just to show how cool you are and to have fun with it...
But its... A lot tougher then it looks. I am sorry you are experiencing this pain. I... Can't tell you what to do at all, that is up to you and you should decide what you want to do. But, i can only suggest trying to find yourself and do what you can to sort out how you feel. I do strongly suggest finding people you enjoy being with and just doing fun things together, make happy moments so you can remember what happiness feels like!... Just giving ya ideas, ya know.
I hope things get better for ya. I may not be your most loyal fan or anything, but I do hope things will be ok. Good luck out there...
The only thing I could say after watching this is that I know you aren’t alone in real life in how you are feeling, or in the content creation space, these algorithms are beyond awful at pointing viewers who would enjoy smaller creators content by funneling them toward the big fish instead. It’s really unfair and I sympathize with you and your struggle, as well as your want to do things you enjoy without compromising your vision regardless of the meta.
I’m usually guilty of giving unsolicited advice to people in need at this point, but since I know you don’t want that I’ll butt out of it (not sure if that’s more of a guy thing or an autism thing for me, but that’s neither here nor their lol), anyway I hope you feel nothing but love from everyone after speaking up about your experience.
Sorry to hear of your plight. People can be just the worst. Take that break, neither we nor the people who detest you for being different are worth the stress. It’s fine to curl inwards, whether to give up or to recharge. I’ll be glad to still have you around no matter where the roads lead, but it’s all up to you. Just do your best to not feel demonized for simply being yourself, no matter what faceless masses say about you for it. It’s the most anyone owes to themselves.
Stay strong and happy holidays.
My husband made a wonderful comment to me a few weeks ago about how my main enemy is the "vocal minority". It really put things in perspective. I have so many people that support me, but they don't say much. It's important to realize those people calling my interests or game choices lame and such are a MINORITY. If everyone thought that way about me, I wouldn't be at nearly 3k subscribers. It's really hard to recognize people as a minority when they're screaming so loudly, but I'm trying learn to tune the voices out. I just need a break and some time to rethink my approach to my content. I've been a pushover all my life and I really think I need some better boundaries and guidelines in the future. I know I'm a sensitive person and I know I'm a people pleaser, but I have to remember that I'm a person as well. I shouldn't sacrifice myself for others because you're right, they're not worth the stress. I just need to find my passion again and go back to what makes me happy.
I’d like to offer an idea for your return. Something to split the difference between chasing the trends and nesting with what you truly enjoy. Would you like to hear it?
@mayborneflower sure In the past when I uploaded 3 videos a week I did 2 I enjoyed and 1 which was more trendy. With my health making content has been hard, so I'm down to 1 or maybe 2 uploads a week + streams. I think one of my biggest issues is that I need to find something I enjoy for livestreams. I'm really good at talking but sometimes I want to play a game. At the same time though, I'm sort of a "fake gamer" as in I don't like super gameplay heavy games. Since talking is my strength, it makes it hard to focus on responding to people in chat. If I play visual novels and stuff though I have people calling my streams boring though.. I need a middle ground.
I'm totally open to ideas, as I'm thinking of some myself also
Thanks. It’s actually deceptively simple. Double feature variety gaming streams, give the trendy thing top billing in the title but play your RPG Maker horror or something else obscure picked by your fans first before going after the other thing. Charge your battery with the thing you actually wanna do before braving some toe dipping into the stuff casuals want to see. Just feature both things in the thumbnail and no one (sane) will complain about being clickbaited. And if they do, ban and block.
@mayborneflower honestly makes sense. I'll see how I can incorporate that for sure! A lot of the games I enjoy are long and require multiple videos so it may be hard to double feature. I might be able to find some shorter VNs or something to pair though! I know early in my channel I'd have a "theme" and do something similar. I'd try to have all the games have a similar plot or story to help them blend together nicely
Never have come across your content before but I still wanna say that I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. Your voice matters. *you* matter! If you need to step away than so that! Focus on you!
Just stumbled onto this video in my recommended, I'm sorry and i wish u all the best, also i enjoy rpgmaker games, i might check out ur content