Nov. 24th, 20011. That is about the time i may have saved a copy of "a recovery" to one of my computers. Its about 3:45 AM now, Aug. 21, 2013 and about 30 mins or so ago, I finally watched your video. Ive had it all this time and i finally sat down and watched this... I have so much I want to talk to you about but simply I want to thank you for being open, for being honest For being unafraid to speak about something that is regarded by so many as a stigma.. So much to tell, but simply - thank U
Your insight is amazing. Having worked in mental health, it's not very usual to come across people who have such a detailed insight into their illness, themselves, their feelings and the feelings of those around them. Your insight is your superpower. I hope you inspire people to speak out themselves and to not be ashamed of their illness.
I have watched a few of your videos and you are wonderful. It is sad that some have given you a hard time, but some people are like that. It says more about them than what they really think of you. From the responses that people leave you have made a difference. In your just human video you talk about the guy that stopped on the bridge and gave you hope that you could recover, just like him you are giving hope. You are beautiful. That beauty shines a light on others lives. You deserve the award.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and have come a long way since then. When I first watched your video it renewed my sense of hope. I have dreams to make a difference in this world and it's good to know other people with this illness can still positively impact the world around them. I know to remain positive and hopeful on even the worst of days because they do in fact pass.
I really appreciate what your doing here, myself having once been under the spell of mental illness as well. That was back in the 90's, lasted a couple months, then I recovered gradually over a year or so. People can't relate to the condition unless they have once been through an episode of it, not that I'd wish it on anyone though. I guess that is where the people who have recovered come in.
i can't really think of what to say, but I'm really grateful for your video and poems. Sometimes i get so scared about how to get through my life when days get so blue and watery, or gray and dull, cos i can't stop them. I watched your video one night when I couldn't fall asleep and my depression was slipping back. gave me hope. thank you.
I love this!! THANK YOU for sharing your experience in such an honest and upfront way. These kind of documentary videos are so important in reducing stigma. Thank you for making a difference in the world :).
I am sure for something like that there is a lot of competition, it is great that you could be recognized by being up for it. Your story is very inspiring, please keep posting what you feel comfortable sharing. A few years ago I developed a pain disorder (neurological) and PTSD. I am still learning to deal with it. You are not just a help to people with your own disorder, but others like myself who are dealing with disorders that are misunderstood or not believed. Thank you.
Also having grown up in the classical ballet world, I have met so many individuals with mental illness and struggles as they were trying to come to terms with their sexuality. So the point you make about the mental health of those searching and trying to come out is definitely valid and extremely significant and needed. Many of my close friends are/have struggled, so thank you for sharing.
Congratulations! Well done! The making of your film took tremendous courage. I found it to be one of the most in depth, honest and heartfelt depictions of the challenges facing a person with schizophrenia.I felt as though I was there, with you, as I watched. Those who tried to deny your experience, had no right to do so. They did it, once again, out of fear and ignorance. Their words should be considered to be shadows which, flee in the face of the light of what is real and truthful.
I am totally proud of you, You opened my eyes and found out that is what I have been fighting all my life I am so proud that you got to get help so young You've made me stronger. JONNY don't stop you are strong enough to take it you have all your life ahead of you make the best of it. would love to chat with you some day.
Thanks Amy and sorry to read your message about how much you have suffered. I am sure you will get there. I recovered from my episode but of course there is still the chance i may have another. But i knew i felt better from the previous one when i stopped feeling suicidal and saw some light come through the darkness. You will see that light too. Hang on in there Amy.
I may not have a mental illness, but for reason, after watching your videos and hearing your story I think I'd like to become one of those people that have helped you on your recovery. It's strange, and probably makes no sense but for someone I don't know, I'm so happy that you've recovered. =]
I know that feeling of fear and dread. But it won't last forever..keep reminding yourself of this. I think if you can get through a day at a time and can get yourself out of bed in the morning, then that is a huge achievement in itself. You're a fighter. That's what i used to tell myself. Don't lose that hope you have. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.
john, CONGRATULATIONS!!! i'm so excited for you. really. i AM. i am a new follower of your VLOG and.. i'm just so happy for you. Love from Oz.... Donna Pickles
It's actually proven that daily mindfulness practice strengthens the nerve fibres in the brain leading to improved nerve activity in the brain. Thanks for sharing all of that my friend, great to hear :))
Hey Elizabeth, it's great to hear you have already come a long way :)) hang onto those dreams to make a difference in the world...soon hopefully those dreams will become more of a reality. Keep strong and positive my friend and never stop dreaming!
Thanks for telling me this..it means more than you'll ever know :)) i'm so proud of you for telling your parents and it's great that you're starting counselling..you're on the right track now :) i'm sure you're going to be alright..wishing you lots of peace, love and light from here on in
You are inspiring. Thanks for sharing your story. Your username alone 'EnjoyLife4ever' just shows your strength and spirit. You've clearly been through so much and yet you kept fighting and made it through the darkest times. I'm so glad things are getting better. You deserve only peace and happiness now in your life. I hope you receive it. Never forget that strength that has pushed you to where you are now. You can conquer any mountain my friend.
The stigma and judgement is so far beyond, I am so sorry you had to go through ignorant individuals 'assuming' and leaving such comments, it is totally uncalled for. I completely hear you, about the negative comments and other's perceptions. You are not alone, hang in there, I truly appreciate your genuine experience and being able to share your story. I am glad you are alive and here. I am just editing a video I did about judgement, embracing the self, etc. Will put up tomorrow:)
Please don't let people's negative comments affect you so much. Some people just are mean for no reason. These people have their own issues and want to take it out on some else. You are a true inspiration. Please keep making your videos. You have so much information to share. You are so brave and you are helping so many people.
Don't let those Nay Sayers bring you down! They feed off of the hurt and discontent that they create. You are a precious light that was put on this earth to help others and give hope to those without any hope. I support your bright light, let it shine!
Well i did think about the title after i uploaded it..i'm not cured no..but i did recover from the episode i had..5 years ago i was completely delusional and suicidal. My first thought when i woke up each day was "i want to die" and now i wake up and i feel grateful to be here. That's a recovery i think. I feel like a different person. And i want to give people hope. It's not false hope. I feel 100 times better today.
Hello, I really enjoyed you're story and the insight it has given everyone about this mental illness. I was curious, about the voice you first heard when you were ten. You mentioned it was an older mans voice. Do you remember the first time you heard the voice? What did it say? Did you hear it often as you were young? Sorry for all the questions.
I don't really remember when i first heard it or what exactly it said..not sure i want to think back to it too much anyway. I heard it quite often though yes. It was like a running commentary at first and i could deal with it. But then it started to become scathing and challenged me to do things. Thanks for watching :)
...learning some form of relaxation technique. Maybe something like yoga. Also, it seems like your thoughts are quite spiraling...cognitive therapy helped bring my thoughts under control. Mention this to your doctor perhaps if you see them. You are NOT crazy. What you're experiencing is actually very human, and it can be resolved. Be strong and be kind to yourself. See yourself as a best friend. Always here if you need to talk. Thanks
Have you spoken to anyone about any of this? Maybe it is worth talking to a close friend or relative. Someone you can really trust? If you can't do this that's understandable too. Write everything you're experiencing down. Keep a diary ever day if you can. And think about seeing your doctor. That might sound scary but it will be good to talk face to face with someone who can help. They should help put your mind at ease. Don't let yourself suffer. I think you would benefit from..
@ImJasonD and by those people I mean nurse, doctor, therapist.. Maybe I'm being a bit ambitious for an already college dropout lol but I'm just happy for you after watching this!
I didnt know you got shortlisted for a MIND award and got a tweet from stephen fry!! how amazing!!!!! good for you hun xxxx (did you win your award) Im so sad you got such negative comments and i cant believe that someone thought you made up your illness. As Jonnys friend, living here in London, he did NOT make up his illness and he is an incredible person.
Its not false hope I too am a recovered schizophrenic, why would anyone lie about this? whats harmful is the side effects of all those drugs, vomiting ,shaking, being so tired you can't move, and having headaches so bad you can't sit up out of bed. and by the way they usually don't do anything,no matter how well they are marketed. People don't need hope they need a way , a support system, activity, . mindfulness is good to it changes the structure of the brain, to reduce default network activity
I keep havin obsessive kind of negative thoughts. I feel like people are watchin me too even wen im in my room with the door close. So wen I think of the worst noise get louder and everything around me seem more intense and overwheling. And when im irritate I feel guilty and when I feel guilty I get scared that someone is goin to make a loud and they do make a loud noise its scary and weird. I dont know what to think is it reality, law of attraction, noise anxiety, paranoia, or schizophrenia
Your videos are great! My son is twenty and is going through what you went through and i want to have hope for him!! Thank you!! If you can message me please I would love to ask you your opinion on things..thanks!!
May you help me please or anybody. Okay lately I be paranoid like crazy and dont know what to think. I been very sensitive and irritated by noises also. I live close by a main street and live with noisy people. Well I been feeling like I been controlling them with my thoughts like I can think of nothing half times when i try to think or have some kind of imagination noise get louder. So its like im afraid to think about anything. So I stay focusin whats goin on around me instead of myself.
Would you say you are still 'recovered'?? Or maybe would you say your illness is being well managed? I have no doubt that you experienced schizophrenia. I do think that it has been too short a time to state to everyone that you are recovered. All the research I have done says there is no cure, and in some cases people can manage well and go years and years between psychosis episodes, and that some people may not experience as many episodes.
Nov. 24th, 20011. That is about the time i may have saved a copy of "a recovery" to one of my computers. Its about 3:45 AM now, Aug. 21, 2013 and about 30 mins or so ago, I finally watched your video. Ive had it all this time and i finally sat down and watched this... I have so much I want to talk to you about but simply I want to thank you for being open, for being honest For being unafraid to speak about something that is regarded by so many as a stigma.. So much to tell, but simply - thank U
Im glad you're alive x
Your insight is amazing. Having worked in mental health, it's not very usual to come across people who have such a detailed insight into their illness, themselves, their feelings and the feelings of those around them. Your insight is your superpower. I hope you inspire people to speak out themselves and to not be ashamed of their illness.
I have watched a few of your videos and you are wonderful. It is sad that some have given you a hard time, but some people are like that. It says more about them than what they really think of you. From the responses that people leave you have made a difference. In your just human video you talk about the guy that stopped on the bridge and gave you hope that you could recover, just like him you are giving hope. You are beautiful. That beauty shines a light on others lives. You deserve the award.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and have come a long way since then. When I first watched your video it renewed my sense of hope. I have dreams to make a difference in this world and it's good to know other people with this illness can still positively impact the world around them. I know to remain positive and hopeful on even the worst of days because they do in fact pass.
I really appreciate what your doing here, myself having once been under the spell of mental illness as well. That was back in the 90's, lasted a couple months, then I recovered gradually over a year or so. People can't relate to the condition unless they have once been through an episode of it, not that I'd wish it on anyone though. I guess that is where the people who have recovered come in.
i can't really think of what to say, but I'm really grateful for your video and poems. Sometimes i get so scared about how to get through my life when days get so blue and watery, or gray and dull, cos i can't stop them. I watched your video one night when I couldn't fall asleep and my depression was slipping back. gave me hope. thank you.
I love this!! THANK YOU for sharing your experience in such an honest and upfront way. These kind of documentary videos are so important in reducing stigma. Thank you for making a difference in the world :).
You're so right..unless you've been through it, people simply won't understand. I hope things are going well for you today, thanks for your message :)
I am sure for something like that there is a lot of competition, it is great that you could be recognized by being up for it. Your story is very inspiring, please keep posting what you feel comfortable sharing. A few years ago I developed a pain disorder (neurological) and PTSD. I am still learning to deal with it. You are not just a help to people with your own disorder, but others like myself who are dealing with disorders that are misunderstood or not believed. Thank you.
Also having grown up in the classical ballet world, I have met so many individuals with mental illness and struggles as they were trying to come to terms with their sexuality. So the point you make about the mental health of those searching and trying to come out is definitely valid and extremely significant and needed. Many of my close friends are/have struggled, so thank you for sharing.
Ah thank-you Jason, you're so kind. I didn't win but it didn't matter much. To receive so much support on here is more than enough. Thank-you :)
Ah thanks El. Yeah being shortlisted was amazing as was getting the tweet from Stephen Fry! Very exciting!
Thank-you for your very kind words, i really appreciate them :)
Congratulations! Well done! The making of your film took tremendous courage. I found it to be one of the most in depth, honest and heartfelt depictions of the challenges facing a person with schizophrenia.I felt as though I was there, with you, as I watched.
Those who tried to deny your experience, had no right to do so. They did it, once again, out of fear and ignorance. Their words should be considered to be shadows which, flee in the face of the light of what is real and truthful.
Incredible, John.
Thank you for sharing. I can't believe its been a year.
Good in you, bud.
Much love!
I am totally proud of you, You opened my eyes and found out that is what I have been fighting all my life I am so proud that you got to get help so young You've made me stronger. JONNY don't stop you are strong enough to take it you have all your life ahead of you make the best of it. would love to chat with you some day.
Thanks Amy and sorry to read your message about how much you have suffered. I am sure you will get there. I recovered from my episode but of course there is still the chance i may have another. But i knew i felt better from the previous one when i stopped feeling suicidal and saw some light come through the darkness. You will see that light too. Hang on in there Amy.
I may not have a mental illness, but for reason, after watching your videos and hearing your story I think I'd like to become one of those people that have helped you on your recovery. It's strange, and probably makes no sense but for someone I don't know, I'm so happy that you've recovered. =]
I know that feeling of fear and dread. But it won't last forever..keep reminding yourself of this. I think if you can get through a day at a time and can get yourself out of bed in the morning, then that is a huge achievement in itself. You're a fighter. That's what i used to tell myself. Don't lose that hope you have. Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery.
john,
CONGRATULATIONS!!! i'm so excited for you. really. i AM. i am a new follower of your VLOG and.. i'm just so happy for you.
Love from Oz....
Donna Pickles
It's actually proven that daily mindfulness practice strengthens the nerve fibres in the brain leading to improved nerve activity in the brain. Thanks for sharing all of that my friend, great to hear :))
Hey Elizabeth, it's great to hear you have already come a long way :)) hang onto those dreams to make a difference in the world...soon hopefully those dreams will become more of a reality. Keep strong and positive my friend and never stop dreaming!
Thanks Jason. Sorry to hear what you've experienced in the last few years. I've no doubt you will get there in time. Keep fighting.
Thanks for telling me this..it means more than you'll ever know :)) i'm so proud of you for telling your parents and it's great that you're starting counselling..you're on the right track now :) i'm sure you're going to be alright..wishing you lots of peace, love and light from here on in
Thanks Donna! :) Love from UK!
Lovely to hear and see you again John.
You're always so genuine and that's what I love about your Heart.
Peace be with you always.
Dex :)
You are inspiring. Thanks for sharing your story. Your username alone 'EnjoyLife4ever' just shows your strength and spirit. You've clearly been through so much and yet you kept fighting and made it through the darkest times. I'm so glad things are getting better. You deserve only peace and happiness now in your life. I hope you receive it. Never forget that strength that has pushed you to where you are now. You can conquer any mountain my friend.
Thanks Johnny. Well said.
The stigma and judgement is so far beyond, I am so sorry you had to go through ignorant individuals 'assuming' and leaving such comments, it is totally uncalled for. I completely hear you, about the negative comments and other's perceptions. You are not alone, hang in there, I truly appreciate your genuine experience and being able to share your story. I am glad you are alive and here. I am just editing a video I did about judgement, embracing the self, etc. Will put up tomorrow:)
Thanks so much for sharing that. I hope you're doing much better today. All the best to you :)
Thank-you Gordon, really appreciate your message :)))
Wow, that's so great..be ambitious and dare to dream. I think you would be an asset to the mental health profession :)
Thank-you, i really do appreciate that.
Please don't let people's negative comments affect you so much. Some people just are mean for no reason. These people have their own issues and want to take it out on some else. You are a true inspiration. Please keep making your videos. You have so much information to share. You are so brave and you are helping so many people.
Stay strong John, I believe everything you have said.
Don't let those Nay Sayers bring you down! They feed off of the hurt and discontent that they create. You are a precious light that was put on this earth to help others and give hope to those without any hope. I support your bright light, let it shine!
Thanks so much, that means a lot.
Thanks so much Julie, thats so kind :)
aw by the end of the video you're really cute I love you thanx for speaking through
you deserve it good job man
Kudos!
Well i did think about the title after i uploaded it..i'm not cured no..but i did recover from the episode i had..5 years ago i was completely delusional and suicidal. My first thought when i woke up each day was "i want to die" and now i wake up and i feel grateful to be here. That's a recovery i think. I feel like a different person. And i want to give people hope. It's not false hope. I feel 100 times better today.
Hello, I really enjoyed you're story and the insight it has given everyone about this mental illness. I was curious, about the voice you first heard when you were ten. You mentioned it was an older mans voice. Do you remember the first time you heard the voice? What did it say? Did you hear it often as you were young? Sorry for all the questions.
I don't really remember when i first heard it or what exactly it said..not sure i want to think back to it too much anyway. I heard it quite often though yes. It was like a running commentary at first and i could deal with it. But then it started to become scathing and challenged me to do things. Thanks for watching :)
...learning some form of relaxation technique. Maybe something like yoga. Also, it seems like your thoughts are quite spiraling...cognitive therapy helped bring my thoughts under control. Mention this to your doctor perhaps if you see them. You are NOT crazy. What you're experiencing is actually very human, and it can be resolved. Be strong and be kind to yourself. See yourself as a best friend. Always here if you need to talk. Thanks
Have you spoken to anyone about any of this? Maybe it is worth talking to a close friend or relative. Someone you can really trust? If you can't do this that's understandable too. Write everything you're experiencing down. Keep a diary ever day if you can. And think about seeing your doctor. That might sound scary but it will be good to talk face to face with someone who can help. They should help put your mind at ease. Don't let yourself suffer. I think you would benefit from..
@ImJasonD and by those people I mean nurse, doctor, therapist.. Maybe I'm being a bit ambitious for an already college dropout lol but I'm just happy for you after watching this!
I didnt know you got shortlisted for a MIND award and got a tweet from stephen fry!! how amazing!!!!! good for you hun xxxx (did you win your award)
Im so sad you got such negative comments and i cant believe that someone thought you made up your illness. As Jonnys friend, living here in London, he did NOT make up his illness and he is an incredible person.
Its not false hope I too am a recovered schizophrenic, why would anyone lie about this? whats harmful is the side effects of all those drugs, vomiting ,shaking, being so tired you can't move, and having headaches so bad you can't sit up out of bed. and by the way they usually don't do anything,no matter how well they are marketed. People don't need hope they need a way , a support system, activity, . mindfulness is good to it changes the structure of the brain, to reduce default network activity
I keep havin obsessive kind of negative thoughts. I feel like people are watchin me too even wen im in my room with the door close. So wen I think of the worst noise get louder and everything around me seem more intense and overwheling. And when im irritate I feel guilty and when I feel guilty I get scared that someone is goin to make a loud and they do make a loud noise its scary and weird. I dont know what to think is it reality, law of attraction, noise anxiety, paranoia, or schizophrenia
On my main channel homepage :)
Where can I see your film?
Your videos are great! My son is twenty and is going through what you went through and i want to have hope for him!! Thank you!! If you can message me please I would love to ask you your opinion on things..thanks!!
I believe false hope is much more harmful.
Sure..sent you a message :)
May you help me please or anybody. Okay lately I be paranoid like crazy and dont know what to think. I been very sensitive and irritated by noises also. I live close by a main street and live with noisy people. Well I been feeling like I been controlling them with my thoughts like I can think of nothing half times when i try to think or have some kind of imagination noise get louder. So its like im afraid to think about anything. So I stay focusin whats goin on around me instead of myself.
Hey Doug, i've sent you a message in your inbox. Thanks
You are so beautiful
Would you say you are still 'recovered'?? Or maybe would you say your illness is being well managed?
I have no doubt that you experienced schizophrenia. I do think that it has been too short a time to state to everyone that you are recovered. All the research I have done says there is no cure, and in some cases people can manage well and go years and years between psychosis episodes, and that some people may not experience as many episodes.
go to 'mind' health on google bud