When I ran this adventure, I made Hilda’s whole backstory more tragic. She was wronged by her previous lover as he cheated on her and broke her heart, unlocking a family heritage like power that she had no control over. She had made a doll for their future child but the heartache had caused a miscarriage and her powers being unlocked made her blind. Of course the doll she had made does the whole murder thing and continues on a murderous rampage. She hears of this news, discovers if she continues to make dolls, keeps this curse at bay. But the damage had already been done and her reputation as a witch spreads. She blames herself for those murders and the loss of her to be child and continues to make dolls in hopes that they will never come to life, and in a way, cope from that tragedy years ago. However she did not account for upon her death: the curse not being lifted and the dolls come to life.
I really like this - you basically rewrote the plot and made her sympathetic AND gave the dolls more backstory. Nice! Did you change the ending of the adventure? (Since reuniting with her lover makes even less sense in this situation)
I'm intrigued that you envisioned the scenario's tone as B-movie territory, as that definitely wasn't my intention - if I had, I would have written something more in keeping with some of the scenarios in the Blood Brothers collections - though I can also see how it could be interpreted that way. I wrote the scenario (after first running it from rough notes with my players before Keith added in the Split Rock and Yog-Sothoth subplot elements) more as an exercise in mood, atmosphere and tone - something designed to give the investigators a break from the standard Mythos-heavy scenario while also actively trying to unsettle them with something seemingly mundane such as dolls. Your criticism of the plot point regarding Hilda's necessary death as a flaw is certainly valid though - but perhaps also illustrates the way scenario-writing has evolved since I first wrote it. Back then, our focus was more on narrative and storytelling, as opposed to the more contemporary style of scenario writing, which is far more focused on ensuring the players' agency. Hell, back then the term 'sandbox' wasn't even in use.
You definitely achieved a very different feel from a typical Mythos adventure! And I enjoyed reading about the history here, and appreciate how adventure writing has evolved over the years. It is tough to strike a balance between giving the PCs agency but also giving them cool set piece events to react to, like Hilda’s death. I struggle with this all the time myself.
Think I would've had the old lady as suffering from Alzheimers so it could explain her constant belief that the PC(s) was someone else from her past, and kept believing it to be so. Also would explain her wandering off and accidentally dying in a mishap. RP'ing her could have an extra effect if she's mentioning little creepy, but incomplete and sometimes emotional, tidbit partial sentences about what happened between her and the person the PC is mistaken for. As if the character knew what she was talking about.
This was cool but I feel like it could have benefitted from some revisions. The structure of the video was a bit all over the place and delved more or less straight into spoiler territory. Perhaps by giving a short synopsis before bringing in your notes on what to change the video would be a bit easier to follow. A spoiler warning after giving just a bit of an idea of what the adventure is also wouldn't go astray. That way players can get an idea of if they'd like to play this adventure. Overall though you've done a good job! Looking forward to more of your work.
When I ran this adventure, I made Hilda’s whole backstory more tragic. She was wronged by her previous lover as he cheated on her and broke her heart, unlocking a family heritage like power that she had no control over. She had made a doll for their future child but the heartache had caused a miscarriage and her powers being unlocked made her blind. Of course the doll she had made does the whole murder thing and continues on a murderous rampage. She hears of this news, discovers if she continues to make dolls, keeps this curse at bay. But the damage had already been done and her reputation as a witch spreads. She blames herself for those murders and the loss of her to be child and continues to make dolls in hopes that they will never come to life, and in a way, cope from that tragedy years ago. However she did not account for upon her death: the curse not being lifted and the dolls come to life.
I really like this - you basically rewrote the plot and made her sympathetic AND gave the dolls more backstory. Nice! Did you change the ending of the adventure? (Since reuniting with her lover makes even less sense in this situation)
I'm intrigued that you envisioned the scenario's tone as B-movie territory, as that definitely wasn't my intention - if I had, I would have written something more in keeping with some of the scenarios in the Blood Brothers collections - though I can also see how it could be interpreted that way. I wrote the scenario (after first running it from rough notes with my players before Keith added in the Split Rock and Yog-Sothoth subplot elements) more as an exercise in mood, atmosphere and tone - something designed to give the investigators a break from the standard Mythos-heavy scenario while also actively trying to unsettle them with something seemingly mundane such as dolls.
Your criticism of the plot point regarding Hilda's necessary death as a flaw is certainly valid though - but perhaps also illustrates the way scenario-writing has evolved since I first wrote it. Back then, our focus was more on narrative and storytelling, as opposed to the more contemporary style of scenario writing, which is far more focused on ensuring the players' agency. Hell, back then the term 'sandbox' wasn't even in use.
You definitely achieved a very different feel from a typical Mythos adventure! And I enjoyed reading about the history here, and appreciate how adventure writing has evolved over the years. It is tough to strike a balance between giving the PCs agency but also giving them cool set piece events to react to, like Hilda’s death. I struggle with this all the time myself.
Think I would've had the old lady as suffering from Alzheimers so it could explain her constant belief that the PC(s) was someone else from her past, and kept believing it to be so. Also would explain her wandering off and accidentally dying in a mishap. RP'ing her could have an extra effect if she's mentioning little creepy, but incomplete and sometimes emotional, tidbit partial sentences about what happened between her and the person the PC is mistaken for. As if the character knew what she was talking about.
I like this take a lot - would definitely make her more sympathetic too, vs. the angry old devil she is as written.
It’s super funny to refer to another human being over and over as “keeper Jeff”
Hahaha - don’t worry, I haven’t gotten any complaints from his parents yet
This was cool but I feel like it could have benefitted from some revisions. The structure of the video was a bit all over the place and delved more or less straight into spoiler territory. Perhaps by giving a short synopsis before bringing in your notes on what to change the video would be a bit easier to follow. A spoiler warning after giving just a bit of an idea of what the adventure is also wouldn't go astray. That way players can get an idea of if they'd like to play this adventure.
Overall though you've done a good job! Looking forward to more of your work.
Always appreciate the feedback!
Okay, I am curious. :)
Okay. This was fine review of the adventure. Thank you.