The Bridge - "Self destruction Is my purpose" The truth about being a Warrior with Tyler Grey
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Travis and Tyler Grey sit down and talk about Veterans day and what the purpose of a warrior means to them. Tyler is a US Army Veteran who served in the 75th Ranger Regiment and then was stationed at Ft Bragg. During one of the many raids he conducted he was permanently injured during a battle in Sadr City Baghdad in 2005. Since then he was worked as a consultant, writer, and director within the world of film and television. He also made a documentary about his journey to find his new purpose called "That which I Love destroys me". As an Artist and former Soldier Tyler continues to take on new projects and represent the veteran community on the big and small screen.
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That Which I Love Destroys Me
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Tyler's comment is huge, "If I can use my self destruction to help someone else then maybe I am worth something" stunning realization that most could not comprehend, Thank you Tyler the person!
“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.”
11B here. The talk about childhood self worth, being issued an identity and also LTSD brought me to tears. I feel you Tyler.
Based!
A lot of reasons why I became 11B, but one was definitely me wanting to be what I was told I was not. God bless
Tyler is one of the most grounded, introspective people I've heard. He's more helpful than he gives himself credit for. Thank you both.
“LTSD” is ground breaking for mental health in Warriors! Amazing! Makes total sense. 😊
Amazing concept
He discussed this a few years back on the Drinkin Bros Podcast and it changed my entire perspective on my life as a fireman and paramedic. I never had a problem with PTSD in any traditional sense. I love what I do and I luckily have never been plagued by nightmares, flashbacks, or any other problems that are blatantly negative but I find I'm never happy unless I am in the worst situations. I feel like I am at my best when I am needed. I often tell my supervisors in the ER I work in now that I feel like a highly trained Belgian Malinois and all I want to do is sniff bombs and bite people and if I'm not doing those things, I'm running in circles and tearing up the carpet because I'm bored.
42:33 Thank you. I joined at 17 years old as an 11b. What you said has been the missing puzzle piece in my adult life for the last 7 years since i got out. I understand so much more in my life and in myself. Thank you. So much.
The epiphany is overwhelming.
Tyler is describing what I've been taught is Complex PTSD, childhood trauma which didn't just happen once but it was your normal. I have the same thing, my flashbacks are emotional and 9/10 times is triggered during a disagreement. I always tell people that during trauma events everything slows down and it's like in that Sherlock Holmes movie where he is bare knuckle boxing in the street, you see the openings present themselves beforehand but you feel nothing
Plenty already had complex PTSD before they join the service or EMS etc. High stress Childhood experiences often push you in that direction.
Ltsd. 11 years of policing in the projects of a major city. 11 years of adrenaline rushes and being able to stabilize the chaos repeatedly, night after night. Left the force due to a major injury and this hits home.
Hard.
Daily life seems to be searching for a new battle of “let’s see what can knock me down that I CANT get back up from.”
Thank you.
I 've always liked Tyler, but this made me really, truly respect his character, intellect and thoughtfulness. Thank you for this. It was incredibly moving, educational, and insightful.
My only request here is have Tyler back, what a great dude and what he says makes so much sense and is extremely relatable to me especially in this podcast. Good luck brother and thanks for sharing
He shall return🤘
Both of you, THANK YOU!! Not for your services... For your words. I could have been in the same room with yall, or on the other side of the world listening. The point is, you got me listening..... 100% correct . Lol thank you!
" I am looking for oblivion"... when I herd that it's like I had my life fast before my eyes, and for the 1st time and in many many year I started to cry. It all made sense. Thank you both for this podcast
I have struggled with how to respond when thanked for my service, for years. Hearing Tyler also struggle with a response is a strange comfort. I hope that sounds the way I meant it. BTW I have settled on the response: “It was my honor”
Re. enlisting: I must come from an opposite end of the spectrum, I felt like I was expected to join, so my response to TYFYS is "Don't thank me, thank my recruiter"
LTSD - Longing for traumatic stress disorder
Holy crap, "LTSD" is it, I find a "peace" in the chaos, that is when I'm at my best. A normal, quiet day is tough to get through. Great interview
Travis and Tyler thank you very much for sharing this podcast ❤ You both inspire us to be better every day!
I like all of the podcasts you're putting out. This one in particular couldn't have come out at a better time for me personally. Thank you to Tyler for speaking your mind and Travis for hosting this.
Everytime Tyler is on a podcast it becomes inspirational in a whole new way. I really hope he continues to go on more podcasts. I'd absolutely LOVE to hear him recap the target he and andy both got injured on on the cleared hot podcast.
Great episode, once again. Tyler reminded me of the lyrics of a song,
"If you can heal the symptoms, but not affect the cause; it's quite a bit like trying to heal a gun shot wound with gauze. Then you can't heal the symptoms"
That's deep
It's all the loss of the tribe. Look at the guys that are doing the best, what are they doing different? They're surrounded by a tribe of people.
I've been doing this for 17 years now. I'm gonna say some uncomfortable stuff.
1. Grow up: we're brainwashed to believe that we're trash if the mission isn't our focus. You're not. You're warriors of a class that has never been seen before in history. Would you have accepted "woe is me" mentalities? Or would you have crushed it?
2. This takes work. A bottle or baggie filled with "medicine" isn't gonna help you. Fixing your behavior is what will help you. How? Act like you have that uniform on everyday. And not utilities, Bdus, or whatever you called you nondress uniform. Act like you're wearing your DRESS uniform. Everyday. Wear your medals in a suit if you have to. Remember who you wanted to be and be it.
3. Stop focusing on what you lost. Start focusing on what you got rid of. Find the stupidest thing you saw and focus on how you got away from that. 11Bs know about the sweeping the rain, or letting entire weeks going to waste. Every job has it. So find your personal hell from the job and focus on how you got away from it.
4. Stop the meds, booze, drugs and the escapes. You'll start to escape your life. Find another tribe. Church groups, shooting clubs, veterans organizations. And BE HUMBLE in them. You're broken right? Well stop talking down to guys.
Stop focusing of I was "tier this, combat that" and become a Tier 1 veteran. Stop being a victim and be a warrior again. Fight your own behavior. Protect people from the level of jerk you can become. Defend yourself from your own negative opinions of yourself.
Been working on my mental health since I got out almost a decade ago and one of my therapists recommended a book called "The Body Keeps the Score" By Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. lots of great information in there to help understand the intricacies of the how and why shit happens to our minds through trauma. Keep up the good work here guys, thanks.
God every one of these is pure brilliance. You guys Inspire us to be better everyday and realize we have no real reason to be bitching about our small problems
True; because we have plenty of buttheads more than willing to create truly BIG PROBLEMS for us.
They would never survive, the things that we helped them survive; and now they work their greed for Money, Power, Lies, that they use AGAINST US, their Protectors.
God & WarFighters, please BLESS THE KIDS, for they are the most INNOCENT of all.
Every being has a " protect or kill " switch with in us you just need to know how to use it to your advantage
Omg. I have LTSD too. Holy moly. Wtf. I’m mind blown right now.
I love this guy!! I love how honest he is about why he joined!! He joined for himself! But in boot they tell you, ".you did join for your own reason you join for these reason, Country, God selfless service, ect!!! Most join for selfish not selfless reasons! I not bashing just stating why I wanted to join, for myself!!
Combat Stress Disorder! Pretty much the same as he described. A non-VA clinical psychologist broke it down for me, after removing the PTSD classification.
"under conditions of peace the warlike man attacks himself"
Nietzsche 1899
'Beyond Good And Evil'
Good stuff, gents
This last year has honestly been the hardest year I’ve ever been through. I’m still searching for that purpose. I feel like I could have done more in my time in. The regret is always there. I have felt like I have let my brothers down by leaving them. I wished I’d known then what I know now. Great podcast. Tyler opened my eyes on a lot of things. Thank you
You earned an "Honorable Discharge" ? Then You certainly repeatedly did something VITAL to the Military, the Country, the Earth.
Never forget that.
Continuity of World Peace & Human Life, requires EVERY PIECE OF A "JIG SAW PUZZLE". YOU did deliver a VITAL piece. True ?
The most relevant conversation i've ever heard. Thank you.
It's VERY relevant. More veterans need to hear this.
Good stuff guys. I can relate to a lot of this. Thanks for continuing the conversation to help former service members improve themselves instead of getting stuck in the downward spiral that so many get trapped in.
I cant explain to you guys how much i needed this. Im not a vet or le but im 25 and relate to everything he said ive felt and dealt with alot of those feelings. Thank you.. I needed this. God bless you guys.
This was great, I'm a civi and not even american, but there's many things I was able to relate to and got me thinking through the video, so I thank you for that.
I’ve never been to war. But I was a hospice nurse for over 5 years. A nurse for over 10! And a caregiver for over 20! And I’ve never heard a more honest and true discussion of internal pain and why. It’s that’s self worth. Truly. Or lack there of.
I’ve thrived in chaos. Then created it over and again. And continue to. But I’ve been aware of it. And cognizant of it. For the past few years.
Think of the negative self talk you’ve created. And I have, too. But, No more. I create chaos in a flurry of JOY. Create joy. Chaos filling joy. It’s the best.
Thank you! @robinjaime
@@DieselDog1929 loves. ❤️❤️❤️
Real heroes are the ones who sacrifice everything for their country and countrymen. Or the ones who come home yet will never recognize themselves as heroes. I used to be the kind of person who did the "Thank you for your service" line every time I interacted with a vet, but sooner or later I realized that they just want to be treated like another ordinary person and not put up on a pedestal for what they did overseas.
However IT IS WHAT WE DO ( or don't yet do ) FOR AMERICA & AMERICANS, THAT IS CRUCIAL . Go overseas to guard someone else's dirt, and do their work at risk to ourselves ? 😂 To guard, coach, teach, lead, encourage HERE is OUR own Work, and exemplifies TRUE GENIUS ( That has overcome persistent Propaganda, from Global SLAVERS ). 😂😂😂 SET all of the KIDS FREE Persistently
Shared military experiences, the most homosexual group of heterosexuals on the planet.
7:40 anybody who wants to be thanked… DON’T
1978 here, y’all volunteered, or you was felonious
vets taught me years ago, they all had fun, and I’m too young to be theirs
the ones that came back anyway. Some went Native, some just went. Section 8 were real
Thank you both, Gentlemen. Here's hoping you have a great Veteran's Day. Semper Fi.
Thanks!
Better than Joe Rogan
I'm so glad they didn't let their ego's get to them as people who would often expect them to compare who's the best with Army vs Marines and given their elite backgrounds in those branches
I didn't realize a podcast would relate so much to my life.
Thankful for 🍄 for PTSD treatment!
It'll work until it doesn't
Great freaking pod cast, He was 100% on about past trauma messing up our current life circumstances….👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Trauma is trauma the body dosent know the difference. The body is like Helen Keller...
Thank you both for your service ;)
Good interview! This guy is dead on re war zone vs civilian life.
Warrior Poets is the phrase that came to mind while watching the podcast today. Thank you sincerely for these podcasts - they are uplifting and introspective as well. I know others are encouraged by them also.
Perhaps we'll need Lovell on here🤘
@@TheBridgePodcast That would be another great podcast! Thanks again for what you guys are doing - hugely impactful to me. Awesome stuff!
If anyone read 'American Sniper', you'd recall part of the book where Chris Kyle had 'struggled' managing his blood pressure. He found out that his heart rate slowed significantly when he went shooting once he was at home. Sound a bit like another way LTSD can manifest.
"Say you're welcome and move on.." Love that, probably the best conversational advice ever!
I'm a nasty stain reservist who never deployed or even left CONUS, and I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO ANSWER PEOPLE THANKING ME. I signed up because I was bored, went into the wrong MOS because I had something to prove, and oh yeah, I totally did it all for you, sure. What little I did, that is. So, yeah, just say you're welcome and move on I guess.
14:30 ... I feel you brother. I feel you.
Man thank you both. This was awesome. Not enlisted but here to comment - you're putting words on things that should hit a nerve with every modern first world man. Many of us have lost our identity as men...and we're passing that on to the next generation of young men. We've got to stop that cycle and build up those little dudes. Give them identity. Build a belief system into them. Man really amazing talk here and guys everywhere need to hear this. Tell a friend. Tell your brother. Help them grow.
This is a house of learned doctors! Thank you, gentlemen! The bounce off of ideas between you two was synced up perfectly. Very thankful for this episode! Gained a new subscriber here.
Although it can be awkward, I’d rather be thanked for my service than spit on like many Vietnam Vets were. My response is like Chick Fil A, my pleasure.
Types of warriors "A hero fights for love, a bad man fights for greed, a soldier fights for orders, a psychopath fights for pleasure"
As a firefighter..that left after 22 yrs..I work better in high stress situation,than I do throughout a normal day... I worked better in chaos. I would be totally calm during high stress situation
I pray Tyler knows God made us all significant and for a unique purpose.
Tyler has contributed to so much of what I learned about our troops.
I know a little better of what my son went through and why he thinks the way he does. It helps me edit my conversations with him.
This show is a ministry.
Imagine getting no praise, and hoping for decent pay for 30 years. now 40 under our new contracts. IL corrections is hard. We don't deserve it. Imagine getting a tennis ball for your walker at 40 years of service. Maybe we should look into charging stations for our new hires. Just for future's sake.
I don't even know how to think right now, he hit on so many things that I too feel, like self worth, why I joined and being able to forgive and move on. It's hard to acknowledge your mental health, it's even harder to seek understanding and help, Tyler helps me keep pushing forward in my journey to get better mentally and physically. Thank you for this
I think there's some relevance to this LTD thing, I felt like he was my brain talkin to me about what's wrong with it. It resonated with me in such a way I got teary-eyed. I think you've struck a chord with me.
That shed some light on why my ex leaving broke me so bad. It's been 10 years and I still think about her almost every day. I guess it's time a talk to a therapist and address this problem.
Buddy got brainwashed
My favorite response: Thank you your support!
These were all so great. Wish it didnt end but I guess all good things do. Thanks for doing them in the first place!
Thank you guys for doing this! It's the real truth in my experience
Big Blue did 8 years in prison returning after Vietnam i asked if it was then he had lost leg he laughed at me and said no that happened few years ago after horse fell on it crushing it . His time served wiping multiple villiages out by himself rampaging and he liked it too much 🤔👊k bro want a fresh beer?😳😆
Stop bringing it up 🤔in public😮its the lonliest way yet still that they will ever know? You know?
My question to Travis is do you have god or gods you believe in? - "Captain Horatius"
3:04 time entering wally either one attacks me deep in and very far away always another is that nosey sob that's determined to smell my innards down my empty isle i perfectly picked to venture abrupt and i will laugh as im leaving it all 😂 thats how i feel aboutcha
Shrooms night by self helped me occasions to put back the books in order that were flung on floor
Looking forward to this one certainly.
"Warriors living past their purpose," that is some deep and real $hit.
Class clowns are the most saddened being alive but somebody got to ware the goody shoes 😢
Thank you, Tyler! You're awesome.
Its a way to validate life pain self inflicted is calming not anyone else's validation
"Parades, families running across the beach, jets flying overhead..." Yeah, happened EVRYTIME I came back from a deployment with the Marine Corps.
What ever happened to Dues Ex Machina, Tyler's company? I bought a gunfighter trigger and the flipping thing broke. One of the pins holding the trigger shoe and safety broke, rendering my weapon inoperable. Went to contact DEM, only to find out they no longer exist. Class act.
Cool story, cry a River.
Welcome to the real world
Lets start a Corrections video series. I know were under spoken and unrecognized. PTSD, stress, under-staffing.. its hurting us in IL. please help!
we have multiple shifts running buildings beyond their capacity. yet were just trying to get by day by day. deal with issues. its not fair to us, or the incarcerated. period.
This is a fascinating discussion. Why the partisan propaganda introduction, though? You’re contributing to important conversations, why invite people to disengage, mishear, or dismiss?
I don’t think anyone else took it that way.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I mean no disrespect, but my opinion is you took the intro more serious than it’s intended.
Outstanding work, gentlemen. 🙏🏽
Thanks for tuning in
DABDA... denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. phases of grief Tyler was talking about.
47:47 - LTSD
Lack of Traumatic Stress Disorder
Calm in Chaos
Chaotic in Calm
51:08 - Fundamentally Self-destructive
Creating problems so you can learn and grow from them.
1:01:11 - Healthy Chaos
Finding calm in less self-destructive ways.
1:02:59 - Reality of Ruthlessness
Insensibility to evil people does not make you an evil person.
1:05:06 - Recipe for Misery
Fighting who you really are.
1:08:17 - Finding the Right Help
Usually you have to try a few before you find the right one.
1:13:32 - When there are No Rules
The real world. (1:14:14 H. Katrina)
1:17:57 - Post Op Decompression and Communication.
Heading home; then vs. now
1:22:46 - War Zone or Home
Can you be good in both places, or are you better in one than the other?
1:28:22 - Your New Purpose
Redefining yourself at home
1:30:18 - Old Warriors
Out living war.
1:35:02 - Re-Integration
The lie told thousands of times by those that never did.
1:39:12 - Grief from Loss.
When you leave the military.
Thank you Tyler
This was fucking amazing !!! Holy shit. 15 mins in and this is so tremendous. Tyler Grey I feel you brother when you said you had no value as a kid and had two imaginary friends. I am 24 years old.
Since we have left our warrior cultures, we have allowed our people to divulge into degeneracy.
I’m still living in MA and it’s much worse than people think.
This guy is deep as the Marianas!
Tyler. I am you. You are me. I haven’t heard anyone explain this as good as you have. I am blown away. At minute 52. And I am so completely freaking out.
Here's the real deal on transitioning: DoD was congressionally mandated to assist the transitioning of the Service Member out of the military with the primary focus of helping the SM for a civilian job, period. Veteran unemployment rates for either political party just have BAD OPTICS. That is what they focus on - assisting you build a resume draft and one round of job fairs. Here's the real deal from someone that successfully transitioned on that program - one day in uniform to the next day retired entering into a good civilian job - the focus to set me up for the next job WAS THE LEAST of what should have been the priority. Mental health and the focusing on relationships that took the burden, the weight and direct hit from a 20+ year career should have been the priority. But that is not what is focused on. The military has only so much time, money and resources to transition the SM, so they focus on the one that thing that is easy, quick and feels good. The moral - like they both said on the show; do the homework, don't rush to failure and get your head straight BEFORE you drop your packet to get out. If you do 20+ years or four years and get out and your relationships suffer to the point that they don't exist anymore, then what's the point of it all bro? Great show!
Quality content
Tyler articulated the experience of the modern male existential dread perfectly when he said:
"The fasttest way to destroy yourself is to not be you (a warrior)".
I myselft have been through the process of "not being my self" just to avoid conflict at home from a young age.
I'd like to thank everyone involved in the prodution of this episode.
The information I've aquired listening to this one proved to be worth a pound of gold for every second of it.
The back and forth between you guys about being thanked for your service and Tyler’s comments regarding his responses really resonated with me. I have been a first responder and became a first responder for self betterment. I did it because I wanted to do it and I want to do crazy shit and have fun everyday I go to work. Being thanked for my service has always been a severely uncomfortable experience for me. I never want to say “you’re welcome” because it makes me feel selfish so I always respond “thank you”. I’ve never really spent time to think about my response until listening to you guys and realized that it boils down to me feeling guilty behind the reasons for doing my job. Anyways that’s all. Figured I’d share.
This whole interview I've been trying to remember who you remind me of Travis - it's a 1950's Brit actor called Richard Todd. He starred in the Dam Busters film. He could be your dad!! Enjoyed the interview btw.
I’m not a veteran but I’ve been through a lot of the same things as Tyler. Divorce and rehab at the same time after 16 years at the railroad and never feeling good enough. Love you guys!
I spent the best 2 years of my life with 3 strangers to me but veteran brothers amigos they shared and i enjoyed every second of the images and stories and hell they experienced an shared vaquely with me after 05 house flood Katrina in Baton Rouge Louisiana feeling free atlast with only 2 sets of clothes the 1 i wore and 1 i washed in a 200 year tub with half house lights no heat ac refrigerator food and my old ford truck some hand tools
When they thank you for your service, thank them for their support. That makes them feel good.
Wish more people would watch this. This video has helped me more than I ever thought it would. Now to rewatch it and study it to help me on my journey.
IF Anything I will thank the rare case of a fukked up vet for their sacrifice! We all sacrifice but some way more than others!
Of all your podcasts I’ve watched so far, this one hit home so hard. I just hope I can live up to what I am able to. And to what you both spoke of. Not just for my family, who have put up with a lot from me, but also for myself so I can be better for them. And the point he made of LTSD hits hard.
Jesus is the answer
Thank you for sharing. The conversation and openness is appreciated.