Bipolar Disorder DENIAL - When THEY Deny US - (Part 1)
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- Опубліковано 30 січ 2024
- BIPOLAR DISORDER AND DENIAL: I've talked a lot about #Bipolar Disorder and #denial on #PolarWarriors. I have several videos dedicated to it, but here's the thing... All of them talk about denial in relation to the person who has the illness.
Well, what happens if a family member, friend, or spouse is the one who's in denial? Maybe it's a parent who denies their child's diagnosis, or the spouse who believes it's all in your head. Could be the friend or boss who assumes Bipolar is an excuse for unpredictable behavior.
There are a LOT of scenarios and we're going to explore several of them today on Polar Warriors!
NOTE: This is going to be a two-part video to adequately cover the topic. The first video is going to explore parents who are in denial, while the second part covers friends, partners, and everything else. I'll even include some tips at the end of each video, so you might want to watch both parts.
Without further delay, let's get started...
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I've talked to my parents about my diagnosis and treatment. Their response was to never talk about it again. I can feel their shame and fear about the medication. Luckily I've got amazing friends who support me and are very understanding.
Thank you for your transparency and for taking the time to comment. I’m so sorry that your parents chose to respond to your diagnosis in that way. No one should go through that. It’s wonderful that you have surrounded yourself with friends and people who understand. It’s like our “Bipolar family.” if you’d like to expand your support circle even more, there’s a link below to my private community:
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
-Rob
Don’t worry about it as long you have supportive friends it’s manageable. Parental care not necessarily more important than other source of support. Sonia I wished you mentioned your age however I have bipolar type 2 which diagnosed in my 40s and you can imagine the miserable life experience that I went through I’m now 48 years old. Please take a good care of yourself and keep watching Rob’s videos with your beautiful friends.
I am sending this to my parents. Everyone should be talking about this problem. I have an example: I had a friend whose mother denied she has a disability for her whole life. Because of her mother's denial, my former friend never finished college, and it's sad. People need to be more open about this.
At almost 70 I’m still kicking. Diagnosed at 50, in my 30s they just called it depression. My dad and sister were both undiagnosed bipolar. At about ten, told myself it was hard enough to face the world, so DON’T complicate things with drugs, alcohol or tobacco and I never have. Have been hospitalized for suicidal ideation, but never actually attempted it (have thought about it a LOT, but at this age have decided to just let things play out). Have metabolic syndrome, high b.p. and triglycerides, fatty liver, type 2 diabetes, just about everything you mentioned, although my heart still seems in pretty good shape (saw a cardiologist just a few months ago, even though I have no symptoms). Try to watch my diet, although I AM a sugar addict! Get in a 3+ mile walk almost every day, actually crave it for the depression. Was on Geodon for 15 years, but discontinued because of side effects. With exercise, diet and meditation, feel like I have it under control. But yeah, I don’t think people realize the challenges bipolar disorder creates. That’s life, I guess. Seems we ALL have some cross to bear.
WOW! I think that's awesome! I love that you were willing to be so self-aware, even at 50. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 two years ago at 21, and I'm fairly certain I got it from my mom. I wish I could convince her that she has it, but I also feel like it's really hard to admit something like that after so many years. Self-reflecting on past impulsive actions when you've never had proper treatment must be really hard. I wasn't sure if anyone would actually trust such a late diagnosis for something so incredible and difficult to deal with. My mom also denies my bipolar because of stigmatization, and possibly because I insist that she has it. She insists that it's just anxiety and once said, "I just think that people find a set of symptoms to describe people and give them a label." Like, uhh, what do you think anxiety is, mom? 🤦♀️ She's gotten in trouble with the law over it, and she's really had a hard time. I can't do much to convince her she has it, but I can manage her symptoms with subtle hints of things that rationalize her thinking sometimes.
Been dealing with my spouse who recently started acting strange. After some research, it has become clear that she is portraying bipolar symptoms. I have done everything I could for the last 2 years with no success. The parents are in total denial as they say things like “we have pure blood and we don’t have this illness” it is clear that they are mentally unstable themselves. Decided to separate and take care of myself and my kids. Thanks Rob your videos are monumental help.
Wow! I can’t believe they said they have pure blood… that is absolutely ignorant & blows my mind 🤯 just because someone has a mental illness doesn’t make them less worthy.
I give you serious credit for taking the time to research bipolar disorder and the symptoms. Your spouse is lucky to have someone in her corner like that. ❤
It’s incredibly unfortunate that her parents responded in that way. It would be painful for me to hear my parents say something like that.
I know it’s not easy being the spouse or partner of someone who has this illness. If you need some extra support or would like to connect, there’s a link in the video description where you can reach me directly through Patreon. Take care of yourself and I hope you will continue to stop by the Channel.
-Rob
@@PolarWarriors
Thank you Rob, as I mentioned this is the hardest thing I have ever been through. I will always be there for her, but looks like that would have to be from a distance.
My mom never really paid attention to me growing up. She was more invested in my brothers. She feels guilty that she didn't see it, so she tells me that I don't have bipolar disorder. I know what's been going on for the past 4 years; her guilt and denial led to my own denial. I have gotten two opinions, and both doctors reached the same conclusion. So I'm glad I can get on track finally.
Another great video and so true. Mom took me to a psychiatrist at a very young age, and although he wanted to put me on meds, she refused to give them to me. Hence, I had a very tough time and ended up denying it myself for many years.
Really love this video. My in-laws were very shook up when I was hospitalized for postpartum psychosis after the birth of my daughter. My husband and I had known I was at greater risk for it because of my bipolar disorder so knew we had to be attentive. My relationship with my in-laws has been extra rocky since. It is upsetting that they still don't seem to understand.
Looking forward to part two! ❤❤❤
I’m so grateful that you took the time to comment and share some of your experience with the community. I hope you feel very comfortable here and will continue to stop by the channel. Take extra good care of yourself!
- Rob
@@PolarWarriors I greatly appreciate the community that you have fostered with the amazing content you produce around such a “taboo” subject. I found your channel fairly early on and after seeing so many others share their stories I finally felt safe to share parts of my own. This wouldn’t be possible without you and your team. Thank you for creating this corner of the internet. 💛
Hi! From South Africa! My mom is completely in denial. She refused to get me an actual diagnosis in high school, but the symptoms were so obvious. I'm 38 now and she still says I need to get off my meds. I'm so scared that my daughter is bipolar. She's only 5 but I worry everyday.
There's a good chance she will have it, but the good thing is we now live in a time where mental illness is more accepted and understood, as well as better treatments and meds. Treatment is only gonna get better from here.
Love your content, love you! Im so glad you started this channel.
Thank you so much!!🙏
Yes yes yes! This hits home! Thank you for highlighting these problems ♥️
IT was somewhere about 1956 sitting at the dinner table. I interrupted one of my parents and started talking. My mom gave me a angry look and said 'children are to be seen..and not heard!'
I have managed to get to over 60 years old and I have realised being bi polar means you may not be believed when abused.
Thank you so much for these videos. I wish I could explain my life story but I wouldn't know where to start. I live with Bipolar type 2. God bless you all 🙏
Dude this literally happened when I was first diagnosed it's so funny that you're covering this
It was easier for my mom to accept my bipolar disorder diagnosis than my Lupus diagnosis.
I have had this experience all the way exactly and often it becomes a good reason not to take meds. Thank you your message. You are so amazing.
You are so welcome!
When my dad past away, my whole personality changed, i can say that because before I'm always happy and energetic, but after my dad was gone, i don't really get well along with the others very well than before, and now i can't talk that much with the others, always like to be alone and negative. I don't know why but i think my dad's death affected me the most with my family, my mom even sent me from a psychiatric help, every Monday and Tuesdays, but it doesn't help even opening up to them, i dont know if this is bipolar or something, and i lost many friends because of this.
Hey bro, just checking if there's been any progress? Sounds more like "situational" depression, but it's possible that if you had bipolar or something hiding in your gene's, the stress of losing your dad could activate it. Some people don't benefit from therapy, or don't need it, have you tried going to a psychiatrist?
Sounds like my life did you get this from me lol great job very well done as always you rock much love brother sending this one to a lot of people thanks I know this was a work load ❤
Glad you enjoyed it!
As always, great video. My dad accepted my diagnosis very well and in the 20 something years of being diagnosed he’s been with me through every step of the way even in distance. Mom, accepted 2 of my kids bipolar diagnosis much better and supported them until the day she passed in 2021. With me it was different. She understood the disorder as she ended up being my kids caregiver and went to their appointments as I was most of the time in hospital or emotionally unavailable stating that I just didn’t want to be a parent. I love her so much but can’t deny her attitude towards me hurt me so much. When I was having a crisis, that’s when she understood. Otherwise I was just a bad mother. I have been with them 6 years before her death and though I struggled myself I was able to help them and save her many times from being hurt by them also.
I feel I'm the opposite. After having my husband diagnosed with bipolar disorder (also his dad was diagnosed very late in life), I watch my kid's unhinged mood swings like a hawk wondering if she will develop the condition and how to take action early. Although she is still young enough to blame it on her underdeveloped mind. Techniques for embracing her emotions and teaching her to deal with them helped a lot. I think accepting that someone might have a problem with their emotional state just brings out another level of compassion and attention, whether they have a mood disorder or haven't yet learned how to process their emotions.
Your videos are so infomative, thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience. Plus, you're really cute (sorry, it's my hypomania talking through😅)
😂 thank you for your video you have a lot of knowledge thank you very much have a good Wednesday
Thanks, you too!
Great video, Rob!
My BIL has been diagnosed with BPD1 (twice) and in both instances, not only BIL remains in denial but my MIL as well, out of fear of her image of being a good mother may/will be tarnished as image is everything to her. It's a very frustrating situation.
Love this! Do you have denial in late diagnosed and parents. I can't find one anywhere. I'd love to be able to give that to my mother. She's 72 and thinks a pill fixes this, and I'm all better. She's in denial. ❤️
So right.
Parents have to accept and move forward with their loved ones.
Sad story: my sister's diagnosis was denied by my parents when she was a recent college grad. They never accepted it. All the more painful because they held back family history of mental illness that might have helped to get an earlier diagnosis, and saved further suffering. They were in denial about the family history also. My mother especially because that was her survival strategy to protect herself from guilt over my grandmother's suicide (which she didn't tell us about --we found out from others). At least my sister had the 3 of us other sisters to support her.
It took years for my mother to accept my bipolar disorder. Ironic, since my dad suffered from it. My dad was immediately receptive. Now, the subject of mental illness is discussed openly among not only siblings, but also cousins.
Good topic. You have been doing your videos for quite a while now and i was wondering do you still have episodes? I have been BP1 since 2011 and was in denial about it this whole time. I just got back on my meds in July after my last hospitalization. I was just wondering if they really work or not. This is the longest I've been on my meds.
Hi booringinal! Rob does indeed have episodes even on meds. The right meds can help lessen the severity and perhaps shorten the length of the episode but sometimes we still need tweaks and changes. In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord where you can ask questions as well. Take gentle care!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
It's hard for me to belive that my child's father diagnosis is "just" BD, because one thing is not taking showers or sleepless nights, as you mention, but a different thing is how abusive he has been towards me. It makes me think of BLP, narcissistic disorder or even psychopathy.
I wish I had this message when I was a child. I bet I would be in a better spot than what I am in now
8:50 definitely resonated, thank you
I haven’t even told my mother but I suspect she wouldn’t believe me. Whenever I tried to tell her I was depressed as a teen she’d ask what I had to complain about. I had to be pretty desperate to bring it up given her behavior but i still did it multiple times hoping it would change, every time it just made things worse. She would get offended that I was depressed like it was a judgment on her. Honestly part of me is glad I wasn’t diagnosed until after she became senile so I don’t really have a choice, I can’t tell her.
My parents dont understand it, they think its mood swings. When im in a funk, their loving advice is for me to get up and get it done. Im a working adult on my own, im not a bum, but many responsibilities come as a challenge and it's impossible to enjoy relaxation. I went and got help, but im waitlisted behind 600 other people (years away from seeing a doctor). So I ran out of the monthly supply of medication, no surprise. American healthcare SUCKS. Only way I can get real help is going to the ER on a monthly basis.
Ive reached out to my insurance and gotten referrals for other doctors besides my prescribed pcp (thats waitlisted me for over a year). Problem is, theyve also got impossibly long wait times before I can be seen, some not even accepting new patients. Im on medicaid, so my options are extremely limited. I was recently advised my best option is going to the ER on a regular basis. Problem with that is, in order to receive the help I have to check in for emotional distress. When I do that, then they can hold me indefinitely against my will, even though its normally up to 10 days. I avoid that because the process is disruptive to my work and school, plus im scared of being held prisoner when im voluntarily seeking help. Sorry for the rant, im genuinely frustrated with how challenging the healthcare system is.
Hi! Man, I am so sorry that you are having trouble finding treatment! I'm Canadian so I don't know your health system but if you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord. Perhaps if you were on disability, would that help with the wait times? Rob and I are on disability as well. Take gentle care!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
@@xxIAshesIxx Usually in the USA they cannot hold you unless you are a danger to yourself or others. If you are going to the emergency room for meds you would probably not be put in a psychiatric hospital unless you tell them that you are a danger.
I went to a mental hospital when I was in my teens i have autism and we thought at the time adhd they put me on steroids I was sick (I got roid rage) they thought I might have bi polar but my aunt has it since I “wasn’t like her” so they thought I didn’t have it then last year (24 years old at the time) I had a allergic reaction to some adhd meds so I was off my medication for a while and my doctor diagnosed me with bipolar type 2
Can anyone tell me how you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder? I've heard specialist & multiple doctors have to agree in order for a person to be diagnosed
You don’t need multiple doctors. I was originally diagnosed by a NP in the ER who saw me for all of five minutes, I was manic and hadn’t slept for a week so it was’t exactly hard to see. The provider I saw in the hospital agreed as did my outpatient psychiatrist. As a general rule once you see a doctor and describe the symptoms if they decide it’s likely they will start you on meds. If a mood stabilizer works that basically confirms the diagnosis.
It might depend on which country you are in. In the USA you only need one doctor.
I stumbled on a channel run by a Dr. Josef Witt-Doerring. I was wondering what your thoughts were on him and people like him. I don’t know if this is the right video to post this on.
Hi Debbie, Rob is only available on patreon at the moment. He offers one on one support and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord as well as a specific support group for partners and family members as well. Would love to have you there.
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
Rob, very informative. Pay attention to: is your doctor a Pharmacogenic testing" clinician? Treating the bipolar first, very important. Freacking meds reduce our lifespan too. especially the LAMICTAl (lamotrigine) is a disaster on me, at 100mg, every morning, it makes me vomit, most of th etime. Always eat something (have breakfast) first, never take on empty stomach; lamictal is making our necks stiff, causes vomit, and confusion. This med alone shortens my lifespan. Not to talk about the rest; it is sickening. The Lithium has caused one ogf my BP friend's head to swell up beyond measure; that is how she died. Causes heart disease. We should focus more on the deleterious effects of meds we are given by unscrupulously motivated "Pharmacogenic testing" psychiatrists we have.
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We are being denied everyday...
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Neither of my parents believe I have bipolar disorder, even though it runs rampant in my dads side of the family. My dad actually believes its the devil lol, thats the level of ignorance I'm dealing with. My mom at least believes its real, just refuses to except that I have it, even with several diagnoses. Personally I don't even care if they believe or not lol, I've known that I had some kind of mental illness from the time I was like 14. Wish I could have gotten diagnosed when I was younger (42 now, diagnosed at 30), but my parents were rather clueless, didn't even believe me when I told them several times I needed a psychiatrist. I love my parents but they are world class idiots! Even if i sent this to them they wouldn't watch it. 😏
Thank you so much for sharing! You have a great perspective around it! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a support group for patrons only on discord. Would love to have you there!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
I was just considered different. Still am
I think that it would be harder to be in denial at least if your living with the person. Then nothing makes sense. But that's just me.
I need advice my son was bullied by students and a few teachers had put there hands on my son he has bipolar and ocd ADHD and sever school refusal he will not step foot near a school he goes in a straight panic he has PTSD and we can not get him to go to counseling doctors he is refusing he said school failed me he is 14 now the school is calling DCF because he is refusing to go to school we tried home based school it worked ok but the school stopped it because they think he needs to be in school so now I have these horrible people in our life on-top of dealing with my poor son and his sever anxiety over all this his therapist didn’t provide much help either so I stopped that because it just didn’t work he is on meds for all this but I’m lost I need help from someone who knows what my son is going through
Hi Tomi Marie! I'm so sorry that you and your son are in such a tough situation! In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord where we have family members and friends who participate as well. If you don't join our community please consider going to a family and friends support group in your area. You can talk to people who have or are in the same situation as you are and I always find support groups are great places to get information about programs and services. Take gentle care!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
www.crisistextline.org/
My mom denies my diagnosis. She believes that someday I can live without my meds. I'm diagnosed with bipolar disorder for real.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I really hurts when it comes from immediate family like that. For what it’s worth, I think it’s awesome that you have found your own path to wellness. This shit is absolutely real! ❤️🩹❤️💪☀️☀️
-Rob
@@PolarWarriors she even doesn't want me to marry any girl before I end my medication. She believes that bipolar can be cured by "approaching" God. Thanks Rob, I don't know what to do without my meds. My life is terrible without them.
I wasn't going to say anything... but I'm getting flashbacks from childhood trauma and I was already averaging 5 or 6 days a month without sleep but this months a record 10 days no sleep. In the month of January 2024.😢
Hang in there. 💛
Hi Freebie! Man, that's really rough!! I really think a visit to the doctor may be warrented! Sleep is so important to us bipolar folk. I had childhood trauma as well and the treatment, EMDR and therapy helped a lot. In case you are interested Rob offers one on one support on Patreon and he has a weekly support group for patrons only on discord. Take gentle care!
Dianna Polar Warriors Team Member
www.patreon.com/PolarWarriors
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Father/daughter 🖤