I firmly do not believe men and women can just be friends and I really don't think we should even try. In my foolish youth (my twenties) I believed the opposite, now I know better. At some point one or both parties will develop feelings beyond the strictest bounds of friendship. We can certainly be friendly without necessarily being friends. For instance, I am friendly towards my male work colleagues but I generally don't interact with them outside work hours, hug them or give them any cause to consider that we are anything other then friendly colleagues. I would like to explain why I am of the view that we shouldn't even bother trying: 1) It gives men zero motivation to lead i.e. hunt. Due to the fact that the lines are blurry, anyone can be the initiator (masculine force) because, after all, they are "just friends". Also the man has no incentive to declare any form of special intent, even if he has it, so some people just end up in this no man's land that lies between friendship and a romantic relationship i.e. they do things friends shouldn't do but somehow they are still "only" friends, 2) It makes no sense to me that either party would want to just be friends with an attractive, heterosexual potential partner, 3) If a woman is close friends with a man/men, potential mates will be hesitant to approach her because they will assume she is taken. Even if it becomes clear that they are "only friends" their emotional intimacy will likely create insecurities in their partner or prospective partner. I have had guys tell me years after the fact that they liked me but they thought I was dating "so-and-so" (by the way after a few years of friendship I ended up developing feelings for "so-and-so"). The last reason I advise steering clear of male-female friendship is that spending a lot of time with someone tends to lead to deeper feelings, this is why people tend to marry colleagues and people in their circle. This is also why arranged marriages worked so well for thousands of years, until we decided we know better (thanks, at least in part, to Mr William Shakespeare).
Clearly your foolishness has carried over into your adulthood as well Let me describe to you me and my best friend: I am a heterosexual male, and she is a bisexual female, she had a crush on my at one point during our friendship, and she isn’t unattractive either, I’d say above average. However our relationship means so much more to me than any attraction. And I don’t think of her like a sister either. She is legitimately just my best friend, similar to how I’ve had male best friends in the past. It would be weird to think of her as a romantic partner after 5 years of knowing her. Granted I know most people don’t think the same as me. But just saying that men and women can’t be friends is so shortshighted. Also I regards to point 3. My best friend had a partner during the time we were friends, and they were aware we were good friends but didn’t mind. I never met her partner, only over discord, but as far as I’m aware is being friends hasn’t caused anyone not to approach her.
@@zacharymartin7757 why do you think that her feelings for you have completely gone away, because if you just ask her that doesn't mean she's telling the truth
@@deathvalley314 firstly crushes don’t normally last more than 2 years (which is roughly how long it’s been) and secondly I trust that she wouldn’t lie to me, but I’m sure that means little to you.
@@zacharymartin7757 People can and do hold crushes for that long and longer. They especially do it when they are "friends" because they hope you change your mind. Also people lie about their feelings for someone all the time especially if it's a female doing the lying. Females aren't very direct when it comes to feelings especially if they have a chance to get rejected. Think of it this way, why do you think her crush just magically disappeared? Usually it would go away because they found something out about you that they didn't like, but she clearly is still liking who you are hence you being best friends. Lastly unless you completely let yourself go that sexual attraction is still there, and you being in a relationship doesn't just eliminate someone's feelings for you they just do their best to suppress them
I've tried to be "friends" with a woman I was attracted to. Tried for a few years, with me secretly hoping she'd come around and see me in a romantic \ sexual light. Never happened, though I'm sure SHE knew that I wanted more. I finally had enough and cut her out of my life. It's the best way, otherwise you're torturing yourself if you stay in the Friend Zone.
I was just in a friends with benefits type of deal. I ended up falling in love with her but she rejected my advances. We stayed “friendly”’for a few more months before she shacked up with another dude and then it was all over. She said to me “why can’t we just be friends” but I let her know that it’s over for good now.
I used to think so, but now I would say no. If there is NO attraction whatsoever on both sides then it is possible, but I don't think that they would spend a lot of alone time together unless someone is kidding themselves.
Especially if you’re already in a committed relationship that doesn’t involve that “platonic male friend”. Either he is going to leave and pursue someone else, or he is going to try and stick around and *hope* you change his mind about him. As a guy, I used to see it the same way when I was in my late teens/early twenties. Now that I’m older, I completely understand why it is not possible.
@@jshudo44 Same , but did you get brought up by your father. I dont know wether its because of transperency, because i feel many men should know this. Wether its because they dont have father figure or bad father figure is something im wondering. In my case i didnt wich is annoying, thats also why i think single mother is something you should be overtly proud of because every action has a consequence.
It’s more than looks though, it’s really about the emotional connection the 2 friends have as well. Being physically attractive is 1 thing, but that emotional attraction is a whole other level.
If we have an established brother-sister relationship, maybe. Otherwise...I believe there's some attraction and dormant romantic interest for sure. Don't the best romantic relationships stem from a friendship or doesn't your romantic partner become your best friend?
Here’s what I learned. You can’t just be someone’s friend. Some people can’t be friends with the opposite sex that’s ok. Some women I only wanted to be friends liked me for more but I couldn’t see us being more than friends.
If suspicions arise in your relationship, you clearly don’t trust them 100%. If you did in fact trust your partner, you know he/she wouldn’t do anything behind your back because you know they respect you enough. And if you know they respect you enough and you trust them, you would be having no suspicions.
@@ilijeganu273 I never said she needs them but if she has them that’s her right... you can’t stop someone from having friend’s of the opposite gender. And vice versa.
My sister was hanging in out with her ex-boyfriend (s) while she has a long distance relationship with another guy. I told her that it was morally incorrect to be hanging out with the ex-boyfriend. She kept asking me...why can’t she be friend with all her exes? I told her that the ex-boyfriend (s) still has feelings for her, she may not feel the same except that she was using him (them) so she is not lonely. She sees nothing wrong with this. I asked her....what if your long distance BF has an ex-girlfriend and is hanging out with her? How would she feels? If you don’t think it’s wrong to be hanging out with your exes while you are in a relationship then tell your BF in which she never did. I agree with you guys...men and women cannot be friend if they were in a intimate relationship and if one is still have feelings after the breakup. It would take two very mature and highly evolved individuals to be friends after the fact. What about current and future relationships, do they matter? Men and women can be great friends as long it’s platonic.
I had two childhood male friends and I had to cut ties woth them because both of them tried to kiss me... So I don't believe in that ,,brother-sister" relationship anymore🤣
@@emaa2723 just don't use guys like that. Honestly man, they don't want to just be your friend. It's the sad reality. If you don't want them romantically, please make it known.
Definitely agree if there is no feelings a friendship between the sexes has the potential to work but overtime, one or both people can also develop feelings. Most of the females i consider friends, i've envisioned sleeping with them. i think that is always in the back of our minds as men. Given the opportunity, we would sleep with a woman whether we have feelings for her or not. I personally do not date or commit to women who stay in constant contact with their exes. You dont have to control her by telling her to stop talking to her ex/ childhood male friend or whatever she want to label him. You can only control you. So if you have issue with a girl you are perusing/dating/in a long term relationship/married too, being friends with another man. Communicate that to her. Do not fall for the shaming tactics of "you re being insecure" etc, because she will use that to manipulate you to try get her way. Then remove yourself from the equation. Leave her with the option and the choice to decide if that friendship is more valuable than the relationship she has with you. but make sure you establish this well before you get into a legal binding situation like marriage.
You definitely sound insecure. If she has never "done" anything with that friend before you then you are playing on fear. If she looks to that guy for emotional support that's one thing. But if nothing has happen and that man is respectful of the relationship then the problem is you
@@anbillie there's nothing wrong with being insecure. its a instinctive feeling we all have when we recognize certain behaviors patterns in other people that could lead to betrayal. Let me ask you this. do you lock your car when you exist it? do you lock your doors when you walk into or leave your home? you can be in a safe neighborhood and i guarantee you said yes to those questions. Most men, given the opportunity, will sleep with a woman. doesnt matter if we have feelings, a connection or even physical attraction. That why i believe Hafeez said he dont trust other men. because he is a man and knows how we think. If you don't believe me, test my theory . If your a female, offer 5 of your male friends sex and see how many would lay with you.
@@PanSlayah There is a problem with projecting your insecurity. Like i said. If that woman gave you reason to fear then you question it. But if she has had no previous encounters with this man before your arrival why overact? You trust or you dont. That example of locking your car makes no sense. But in some neighborhoods I dont lock my car. My reaction to my safety is entirely dependant on my environment. You choose what woman to trust your heart with. Everything is a risk. I've dated a woman who slept with a friend. He is still in her life but nothing else has happen. We have set boundaries that she cant sleep at his house or vice verse. But I dont have the right to say they can no longer be friends. That's silly
@@anbillie okay so your a male. logically you might be missing my overall point which is fine. im aware my delivery needs work. If you are okay with your lady remaining friends with a man she has sexual past with, that is fine. Set boundaries. But realize you set those boundaries out of insecurity. because you know given the opportunity, she would sleep with him again. not saying that setting boundaries is bad thing. but from what im understanding from your logic, if you trust her, you shouldn't have to tell her what she basically can do. In the same scenario, i would also set boundaries. if she is in CONSTANT/FREQUENT contact with that guy she had sexual relations with, then we have a problem. if its once in a blue, like every 6 months or something, thats not a big deal. if they doing lunch dates, or she going by his house for one and ones thats a huge problem for me. women are more impulsive in nature and are emotionally driven. not to mention, they have what every man wants between their legs so cheating is far less work for a female vs a man. Understand, infidelity doesnt just start with sex, especially with women. It starts with conversation. All you need is the right mouth piece. Better safe than sorry. But that just my take on it.
@@PanSlayah Actully I'm a gay woman dating a bisexual woman. It's always about boundaries. The truth of the matter is control is a false state. I could date a woman that randomly cheats for any reason. She has a past with this individual. The point is it was one incident. If he was her ex then additional steps would have to be taken. But creating absolute rules about opposite sex friends is silly. If there was a clear cut answer for this question we wouldnt be discussing it. Human reproductive urges and sexual needs can produce crazy behavior. Men and women can be friends but it needs careful balance and honesty. I have guy friends who told me they liked me. I'm gay and didnt want it. Guess what? We are friends. Because a boundary had been set in place. Being friend isnt the absence of any level of attraction. Its valuing someone more than that attraction and desire.
I agree that men & women being friends only works if there is no attraction on either end . Even if one person is attracted, it can create tension which could potentially compromise the relationship. However, I also believe you can acknowledge that your friend of the opposite sex is attractive but still be able to limit it to a genuine friendship if their values, beliefs, etc. are not in line with yours and you know you wouldn’t pursue anything further. But that type of situation requires self-awareness and being honest with yourself and the other party about feelings and intentions. Bottom line though, you should probably be more occupied with yourself, family, career, etc., so any friends that are a part of your life must really be providing meaningful and fulfilling interaction in my opinion. Unless that friend of the opposite sex means that much to you, the friendship is probably unnecessary and could be rooted in attraction or deeper feelings. Just know yourself and ask the right questions !
When I clicked this video, I thought "only if there's zero attraction". There's only been three girls that I've been good "friends" with. When I say "friends" I mean like the type of girl that you'd hangout one on one with, get coffee, have long conversation, sit with her in church, go on a hike together, etc. Stuff like that. The first one, I fell in love with her like mad, she didn't feel the same way, and we broke the friendship off. Second time, the girl was super into me, but I didn't feel the same way. Third time, I was into her, she was into me, but I lied to her and said I wasn't interested because I had lied to her about something important, and it would have crushed me continuing the lie, because she has a good heart. Then we had a semi-big argument where after like a couple of months of not talking, we agreed to hangout. She flaked, and didn't say a word while cancelling. So I basically said "Look you were disrespectful, so I think it could be best that we not talk anymore." She gets super angry, calls me childish, tells me I'm being ridiculous, and says she was afraid to tell me that her mom had come home from the hospital that day from surgery, etc and she was the primary caregiver so she didn't respond, etc. We made up within five minutes, and THEN...... Coronavirus happened, and I haven't talked to shorty in like a month now. So that's the BS I'm on y'all. Men and women cannot be friends, and TBH after these experiences, from now on I'm not being friends with any girl. If I fuck with her like that, I'm going for man vs woman conversation, and if not I'm not gonna waste my time. Girls get hurt, and I got hurt once with this as well. No more.
The way I see it, there is a clear distinction between a friendzone relationship and a friendship. If at ever one person desires more (romance) from the other person but suppresses it either by their request or personal decision THAT is a friendzone relationship. Nowadays, we assume a dynamic is friendship when it is clearly a friendzone dynamic for a slew of different reasons but the friendship only exists when sexual desire/romantic interest is non existent.
Agree, its hard. You can be friendly to a women. The women see you as friends, men having atraction want romantic. The man dont want to ruin it but their can be a sad consequence. Its a girl i like but we are friends, but rejection hurts as people know. I still respect her, talk to her little. Wether about question for example. But for men they rarely talk to women on CHAT spesificaly in non romantic way. In irl thats another thing. If wanna chat , just chatting with the boys.
I think that it's easier when there is no mutual attraction...but if you're attracted to one another physically, both have to be mature enough to know that they don't like the other person romantically. If you're sleeping with the person, y'all are not truly friends, because once the other person starts actually dating someone or gets in a relationship, that person needs to CLEARLY back off and be understanding and respectful of what's going on and if they want to hang out, why not hang with both every once in a while. Just show some boundary.
I agree, no physical attraction from either party. However it starts to get complicated when you are already in a committed relationship. It can’t violate the boundaries of your current relationship.
@@jshudo44 For sure. If already in a relationship there should be no need to make friends of the opposite sex. Current opposite sex friends need to fall back, and respect the relationship. Wishing well on the holidays, or having double dates and group outings are fine...but doing things in private? Nah...Bae should be included.
If you’re still stuck on seeing every encounter between a women as potential sex then no. But I have a male friend. We’ve been friends since I was 17. Nothing sexual has ever happened. He tried to cross that line but I made it very clear to him and he respected that.
My ex would tell his female friends when we had problems. They would text him all the time and I became insecure which perpetuated our rift. I was fairly certain most of them had an agenda even if he didnt recorocate it felt like a sort of disrespect. In the end my insecurity ended the relationship. If I didnt believe it before, I trult believe it now that you cannot really be friends with the opposite sex without it being tricky. Best to not.
ABSOLUTELY NOT....reading the comments Women --> YES! Men --> absolutely NOT! Women, WE ARE LITERALLY TELLING YOU WE CAN'T BE JUST FRIENDS AND YOU ARE STILL OBLIVIOUS TO IT. The only friend of the opposite sex that you should have is your WIFE. Anything other than that is just creating a current and/or future problem for yourself and your dating life.
Also telling us that in your idea we aren't compatible in a purely intellectual way. Perhaps that is showing us that we shouldn't enter romantic realtionships with you either
@@timothymccray6034 if the only valuable thing about a woman is a sexual relation with you then you dont actually view us the way we are. That is your problem buddy, but not all men are as limited as you are. Peace out
@@ilincabogza its not about sex but respect....i don't look down on women or. View them as less than..heres a good example..say u like a guy...hes hot to u....you want to sleep with him....but it he tells you sex is all he would offer you...you would say no....u would require he be a friend a companion emotionally invested in you and a support source...even tho u want and need his sex...its about respect...you just not gonna give him your body cause u like him....now lets flip it around...i want and need friendship from women....but if that all she has to offer.....thats not enough..now women I meet and know thru career or social circles who are cool than yeah we can be friends....but it would stay within those boundaries...and if there isn't any attraction from either party it would stay in that lane naturally....but if a guy wants to get closer it's because hes attracted to you...and those interactions wont be the same as it would be with two guys or two girls....why?....he doesn't see you as a man...he doesn't see you platonically..and yes as a man there are spaces where I expect a physical presence with a woman..and that zone is a personal private intimate connection based purely on a fondness of each other like a real friend.....but a girl....thus the term GIRLFRIEND...lol..i mean if I wanted a true platonic friendship I would hang out with a guy..
It's crazy I was just having a conversation about this just about a week or 2 ago with a "friend"lol and you guys hit it right on the head that's exactly how I explained it exactly how I feel about it If we're married we should be best friends we should be able to tell each other anything we should be able to talk to each other about anything and support each other and not judge each other.
If you understand a healthy dynamic in a relationship, it's impossible for women to be bestie with their husbands. It means you are equal in the eye of your wife. She'll lose her burning desire for her husband. Women tend to date up and men tend to date down. Equal means she can do better and you're her second choice. A man needs to lead for her to follow and she'll do anything to keep you around. And leadership comes from a hierarchy of competence.
In my opinion, when a guys says he's worried about other men trying to get with his wife or girlfriend what he's really saying is that he doesn't trust his wife or girlfriend around other guys
Ha! There is always one friend who falls and then someone denies but that mutual respect keeps it platonic. But it alwayyssss goes there esp of both persons look good. Important notice- they both have to look good!
Attraction can happen over time. It is never a good bet. One of you will usually end up in the friend zone. Friend zone friends will consciously or subconsciously plot the demise of your relationships.
Yes. I have female friends and nothing has ever happened. My since passed best female friend was my sister from another mister. She was my relationship advice buddy, and I talked to her about damn near everything. My other good female friend is my gaming buddy. Yes, we tried dating and it didn't work out. But there's no residual or hard feelings there.
@@TheRoommatesPodcast It's a rising pandemic these days. Social niceties and common decency are being thrown out the window with this advent of social media.
How many males will actually hang out with an ugly chick tho? and how many females actually hang out with ugly dudes? it never happens. People always wanna hang out with the attractive people whether they admit it or not
@@pastelqueenwudel i just hate it when girls ask questions like this. No it’s not on purpose, it’s subconscious, thus the point: men and women can’t be friends
They can be friends within boundaries and not being attracted to each other makes it easier to maintain some healthy space. I just feel, it is sad to deprive each other of a great friendship just because of them being of the opposite gender. It's possible, just not easier.
You also have to respect your intimate partner and the relationship that you’re already in as well. So that makes it even more difficult to have “platonic” friends of the opposite gender.
@Lady E I never said that it was impossible, it just makes it more difficult while you’re already in a relationship. There are boundaries within that friendship that cannot be crossed. There cannot be any physical attraction from either side. So if a man gets friendzoned, but still has feelings for the woman he likes. Either he will wait around hoping that she’ll change her mind, or the woman will try to get him to do the boyfriend tasks for her without getting the boyfriend privileges. Once the guy is friendzoned, he has every right to walk away and try to pursue someone else that has the same feelings towards him.
Men and women can definitely be friends because every man isn't attracted to every woman. Some women are just cool to hang out with but they're not your type at all and you'll never see them in a sexual light
Nahhh 😂 my man will not need any female energy at the level of "friendship". Acquaintances, couple friends, and co-workers sure. Anything else no way José.
Might be an unpopular opinion, but I think men and women can be friends. I understand if when you're in a relationship, seeing your girl having close guy friends and vice versa might feel a bit questionable. But what if you're single and the other persons single as well? You guys have any thoughts on single guys & girls being friends?
Single men and women cant be friends. It blocks you (both) from finding your true match because you have a "friend" you're pouring into instead of giving off SINGLE energy
@@TheRoommatesPodcast I had female friends even in my twenties... because I had a woman and valued there friendship...as you get older friendships really matter
My best friend is a male and we've been friends for the last 13 years. NEVER ONCE have I EVER looked at him as a potential mate. And NEVER ONCE has he EVER tried to make a move on me. I see him as my brother and nothing else. So, YES! Men and Women CAN be friends.
Yes! Even if you have liked that person and they didn't like you back , you have to be mature enough to be a good sport and accept it so that you can enjoy the friendship (from experience). The way I see it it depends on maturity level
Yeah you can be "friends" that never hangout one on one. That's not what the guys are talking about. They're talking about men and women being friends that really hangout and get drinks every other weekend one on one.
I have many men friends, they are really good friends too. Their qualities are attractive, but there is not romantic attraction between us. It's very cool!
@@juggernautjay307 Hahahaha! You're funny. 🤣🤣🤣 I do though. I've known them all for a very long time, some I grew up with. They are all like big and little brothers to me. Most have families and I'm friends with their wives and girlfriends and their children call me auntie. Our friendship is what life long friendships look like and it's beautiful!
I can be (and am) friends with women, but only if I'm not physically or emotionally attracted to them. (that's not to say I would NOT sleep with them if the circumstance arose, but I'm not preoccupied with that outcome). I've tried to be friends with a woman who I was VERY attracted to, but I eventually broke it off, because it was basically torture for me. I wanted MUCH more and she did not. I kept getting my hopes up, only to have them dashed EVERY TIME. So I stopped ALL communication with her a few years ago. I learned the hard way - I can NOT be JUST friends with a woman I'm attracted to. (and I believe this applies to all men). btw - ever see a married man who has close female friends?? Me, neither. The wives would NEVER allow it, because they KNOW.
@@TheRoommatesPodcast didn't realize attraction was so distracting to other people. It's just a theory but I always thought that no guy even speaks to a woman unless he is attracted to her on some level. Moa is dont make a move so I don't see the harm in being attracted to my friends.
I have had male friends try to kiss me, and say they loved me, and one blocked me because I was loyal to my boyfriend. I do have male friends and now I am single, but we don't hang out 1 on 1 it's always in a group. I personally get along great with me ,but I don't seek out all these close male besties.
Me in my 20s: "Nope!" Me in my 30s: "Sure, why not!?" He's an attractive man, but we don't share the same values when it comes to family and relationships.
You can’t be friends with anyone you’re not attracted to. It’s either mentally, sexual or both. I assume he means “you can’t be friends with someone you’re sexually attracted to.”
Am I the only one here that believes in man-woman friendships ? I have girl friends for years, never had any feelings for them other than friendship, and i see some of them like sisters :)
I was scrolling for your comment. I have many women friends on more than "friendly" terms, and with some of them (nearly half a dozen) we're as far as hanging out one on one for a couple of hours straight
This is a North American issue. Still can't say for sure but I do strongly believe that with all that covered passive aggressive sexual energy leads to subconscious challenges that won't be resolved. I had many men friends in Germany and as soon as I moved across the continent that all changed in a flash, which included unbelievable sexual harassment that I can write books about. So it is definitely a cultural thing!
We can be friends but I ain’t gonna deny the attraction and that’s okay. Honestly most of my female friends I’ve smashed have had moments we still “friends” but I ain’t denying the attraction ain’t nothing wrong with that
My male friend and I have been friends for 15 years. The main reason we stayed friends so long is because we honestly hate being social. We would use the other one as an excuse to get out of events lol
Basically...you're not married yet? Watch until you are...especially! If your future partner is insecure and doesn't like the idea of you having an "attractive" long time friend. LoL! You will have to respect their wishes, because you automatically have to respect him. Even if he is insecure and manipulating you. I don't mind my future partner having Male friends, but I'm not the norm and I'm secure of myself. This kind of experience happened to me, just this week! LoL! It's pretty much her husband's insecurity brainwashing her. And my friendship with this lady was 16 years old.
Learned that the hard way this year, I thought a guy was my friend and he ended up hitting on me, while he had a girlfriend and I was shocked. Anyways he ended up deleting me. I was hurt cause I really did think we were friends
Lol imagine being suspicious of your SO's friends. Like do people dating bisexual people dont allow them to have friends? Lol! I will say it depends. If the dude is a simp, no. If the girl is manipulative/looks down on him, no. If they dont respect each other and are immature, no. If there is no communication in the relationship, no. If there is constant flirting, no. Personally, my best friend is a guy. But I'm not very girly, so I never got along well with most girls. I'm not a looker either and neither is he. I'm not attracted to him at all, and I have very good self control. There was this guy a while ago who complimented my... thighs... and I liked him well enough. But he didnt share my values or morals, so I turned him down EVEN THOUGH I WAS ATTRACTED. And my buddy? We play video games together, we don't just "hang out". If he had a girlfriend, I'd be f*cking ecstatic, because it means there's a third player. And if I had a boyfriend, I'd most likely make it clear that there's no romance, and to treat it like it is. I'll mention that we'd been friends for years, so if we were gonna do something, we'd have already done it lmao. And if my boyfriend had a close female friend? If she's cool, she's cool. I'll treat it like it is, if I see romance then it's there. If I dont see it, then there's no reason for suspicion. And I'd play video games with them if I really felt like the situation is fishy, but it really depends.
I'll weigh in as a just turned 30 year old with many female best friends throughout college and grad school. If there is no mutual attraction it can work, but if not there will be an orbiter. WHY am I friends with girls I'm not attracted to? Multiple reasons: lack of competition, emotional safety, and SOCIAL PROOF for other girls I am interested in. The best thing a single guy in school can do is maintain a friendship with a woman he recognizes is objectively attractive but whom he himself is not attracted to, because if there's genuine friendship there, it will serve as the BEST social proof possible. You can call me an asshole for dropping a truth bomb but that's the reality I've lived since 21.
Yes both can be friends;The one that is attracted to their friend can try to make a relationship happen ,but nothing is gonna happen if the other do has boundaries otherwise known as the friend zone.
I have a few male close friendships..HOWEVER we don't meet up but MAYBE once a yr..we have been friends since we were teenagers, and their spouses know all the details..one of these men actually told me it has always been a true friendship..but he and I are not apart of ea others daily lives..it's a catch up during the holidays type of deal..and not since college has it been just us..it's spouses, kids, frmr spouses, anthr family member tht is around..these folks are darn near extended family! But I can count them on one hand..and two of them hang in the same group
Opposite sex friends: never test the waters for something that's not waterproof. It's not that I don't trust my partner. I trust my partner to not have these friends.
For me no. As many have said earlier in the comment section. if there is any physical attraction or connection its not going to work. I experienced this recently. most devastating experience i ve been through as of recent.
I believe that they can be friends.but Only in one condition ... If he can control him self not to tell her how he feels and if she can ignore the signs or doesn't care what he feels.... Of course they can be friends forever
Yes, men and women can be platonic friends, but no man should have time to be platonic friends with a woman. A man’s top priorities should be his “Purpose”, rotation girls, and family. With those 3 things being a man’s priority; how does a man have time for platonic women friends? #alphamalemindset
Agreed to what the first guy said. I think men and women can be friends. Tbh i think its weird to think other wise since or else every guy would hit on any girl they are friends with WICH almost never happens. A man can be friends with a women, be friendly. The moment he has ATRACTION for her then its a different story, so a friend ship wich was both of their eyes is now unbalanced. Becauser the man is seing a potential relationship , viewing the women as potential romantic partner. At that mome its very hard for men to restraint , all together be friends. Thats why i think being best friends with a women is playing with a knife either it can stab you or be used for eating meal. Its not black or white. I have had many women as friends, you prob has aswell. Few had atraction to and some not. I think best friends should be a tilte to same sex as in male and male. Because being best friend with a women is time consumin and can be painful if you have feeling for them.
To the females that I'm attracted too and she rejected me and said all I see you as a friend and that's it !!!!! I will leave you alone, Stop chasing you , Stop Calling and Texting You ,Bc. I will always have deep feelings and want more then a Friendship from you!!!!!!
Honestly it is about insecurity on the person clinging to opposite sex friends....they have low self esteem and they need that energy feed. Mature people have figured out that you and your mate should be on the same page/morals 😁😁😁😁 You guys Rock!!!!
Sorry for the late response. First I think people use the word "friend" too loosely. A true friend is a sacred position to hold in someone's life. A true friend is a confidante, a supporter someone you love, someone you entrust with your Hope's, dreams, secrets, fears, etc. The nature of a man makes it darn near impossible for those friendship qualities listed above to mix with the opposite sex. Add attraction and you have a full blown relationship. Yes, friendship is a type of relationship but it's very hard to operate as a "friend" esp if there is an attraction. Most men and women have a "friend" of the opposite sex who is waiting in the wings to become more than just friends. This is why they say the best relationships are rooted in friendship because love is fleeting but if you have a foundation of friendship then you have something to stand on during those times where you or your partner make it hard to love. I dont want my man having opposite sex friends. He has a friend in Jesus and I should be the person he turns to confide in and share his Hope's, dreams and fears. Allowing opposite sex friends is very dangerous to any relationship because it can quickly turn into smthg more
Its unecessary for men and women need to be friends, especially a woman in a relationship/marriage. Men are sneaky like you said. What if you get in an arguement and that male "friend" offers to "comfort" your wife/gf while she's emotional. A promiscuous woman will use the "your insecure" excuse. If she's a loyal woman that respects you, she wont have male friends just like you as a husband/bf wont have female friends.
FUCK NOOOOOO!!!...Women can't have their Cake and eat it too, and if she gets mad about a man putting their foot down, that's complete Bullshit...I just went through this shit with an Ex wanting to be just "friends"...please, shut that shit down.
No, they can't. Also, I'm not going to allow anyone to forget that for years and years guys who were highly suspect of the idea of being "only friends with a girl" were mislabeled as "losers." They were ahead of the power curve by several decades. Glad the manosphere finally caught up.
I feel like yes but it’s very individual the relationship and boundaries and honestly like tension should be voiced with clear direction of the end result weather you want to overstep the boundary or choose friendship again.. idk I’m still trying at it bc I do like guys. This is how it just hit me it’s like a store you you can walk around in dressed with clothes but not go in with intentions of leaving with anything else or trying anything on, such as having your women who you enjoy being with and build with and have women you enjoy being In the presence of but you have to be honest with yourself and know what it is you’re enjoying and how much of it will turn into something else
The Roommates Podcast remember god created man and woman to be together in a romantic relationship any women I ever loved it was like she was my friend first most people in relationships ask them how did it start they will tell you they we’re friends first
what if you have been firends for 20 years.... Maybe there is attraction though.... but you're good firends... you're both in other relationships or married... you can't hang out??
I agree with “they can be friends if there is no attraction towards each other at all.” Other than that...def not. 🤗
Queenie 8 facts
we agree
Agree it’s usually one of the 2 who will secretly carry a flame of hope that this could turn into something more .
Queenie 8 you mean if the man is unattractive
That’s the thing if they are friends there is some degree of attraction between the two by default
I can’t be in no platonic friendship with someone I’m attractive too. That shit is for the birds...
the birds
😂
Chirp
Why not?
The bird is the word
I firmly do not believe men and women can just be friends and I really don't think we should even try. In my foolish youth (my twenties) I believed the opposite, now I know better. At some point one or both parties will develop feelings beyond the strictest bounds of friendship. We can certainly be friendly without necessarily being friends. For instance, I am friendly towards my male work colleagues but I generally don't interact with them outside work hours, hug them or give them any cause to consider that we are anything other then friendly colleagues. I would like to explain why I am of the view that we shouldn't even bother trying: 1) It gives men zero motivation to lead i.e. hunt. Due to the fact that the lines are blurry, anyone can be the initiator (masculine force) because, after all, they are "just friends". Also the man has no incentive to declare any form of special intent, even if he has it, so some people just end up in this no man's land that lies between friendship and a romantic relationship i.e. they do things friends shouldn't do but somehow they are still "only" friends, 2) It makes no sense to me that either party would want to just be friends with an attractive, heterosexual potential partner, 3) If a woman is close friends with a man/men, potential mates will be hesitant to approach her because they will assume she is taken. Even if it becomes clear that they are "only friends" their emotional intimacy will likely create insecurities in their partner or prospective partner. I have had guys tell me years after the fact that they liked me but they thought I was dating "so-and-so" (by the way after a few years of friendship I ended up developing feelings for "so-and-so"). The last reason I advise steering clear of male-female friendship is that spending a lot of time with someone tends to lead to deeper feelings, this is why people tend to marry colleagues and people in their circle. This is also why arranged marriages worked so well for thousands of years, until we decided we know better (thanks, at least in part, to Mr William Shakespeare).
Clearly your foolishness has carried over into your adulthood as well
Let me describe to you me and my best friend:
I am a heterosexual male, and she is a bisexual female, she had a crush on my at one point during our friendship, and she isn’t unattractive either, I’d say above average.
However our relationship means so much more to me than any attraction. And I don’t think of her like a sister either. She is legitimately just my best friend, similar to how I’ve had male best friends in the past. It would be weird to think of her as a romantic partner after 5 years of knowing her.
Granted I know most people don’t think the same as me. But just saying that men and women can’t be friends is so shortshighted.
Also I regards to point 3. My best friend had a partner during the time we were friends, and they were aware we were good friends but didn’t mind. I never met her partner, only over discord, but as far as I’m aware is being friends hasn’t caused anyone not to approach her.
NO NOT BOTH PARTIES. JUST THE ASSHOLE MALES WHO THINK WOMEN ARE NOTHING MORE THAN OBJECTS.
@@zacharymartin7757 why do you think that her feelings for you have completely gone away, because if you just ask her that doesn't mean she's telling the truth
@@deathvalley314 firstly crushes don’t normally last more than 2 years (which is roughly how long it’s been) and secondly I trust that she wouldn’t lie to me, but I’m sure that means little to you.
@@zacharymartin7757 People can and do hold crushes for that long and longer. They especially do it when they are "friends" because they hope you change your mind. Also people lie about their feelings for someone all the time especially if it's a female doing the lying. Females aren't very direct when it comes to feelings especially if they have a chance to get rejected. Think of it this way, why do you think her crush just magically disappeared? Usually it would go away because they found something out about you that they didn't like, but she clearly is still liking who you are hence you being best friends. Lastly unless you completely let yourself go that sexual attraction is still there, and you being in a relationship doesn't just eliminate someone's feelings for you they just do their best to suppress them
I've tried to be "friends" with a woman I was attracted to. Tried for a few years, with me secretly hoping she'd come around and see me in a romantic \ sexual light. Never happened, though I'm sure SHE knew that I wanted more. I finally had enough and cut her out of my life. It's the best way, otherwise you're torturing yourself if you stay in the Friend Zone.
I was just in a friends with benefits type of deal. I ended up falling in love with her but she rejected my advances. We stayed “friendly”’for a few more months before she shacked up with another dude and then it was all over.
She said to me “why can’t we just be friends” but I let her know that it’s over for good now.
I used to think so, but now I would say no. If there is NO attraction whatsoever on both sides then it is possible, but I don't think that they would spend a lot of alone time together unless someone is kidding themselves.
Especially if you’re already in a committed relationship that doesn’t involve that “platonic male friend”. Either he is going to leave and pursue someone else, or he is going to try and stick around and *hope* you change his mind about him.
As a guy, I used to see it the same way when I was in my late teens/early twenties. Now that I’m older, I completely understand why it is not possible.
@@jshudo44 Same , but did you get brought up by your father. I dont know wether its because of transperency, because i feel many men should know this. Wether its because they dont have father figure or bad father figure is something im wondering. In my case i didnt wich is annoying, thats also why i think single mother is something you should be overtly proud of because every action has a consequence.
It’s more than looks though, it’s really about the emotional connection the 2 friends have as well. Being physically attractive is 1 thing, but that emotional attraction is a whole other level.
Facts!
That’s why we see some good looking guys married to unattractive women. It’s all about how the woman makes the man feel.
If we have an established brother-sister relationship, maybe. Otherwise...I believe there's some attraction and dormant romantic interest for sure. Don't the best romantic relationships stem from a friendship or doesn't your romantic partner become your best friend?
Your romantic partner will end up being your best friend if you plan on building future with them (man or woman).
Here’s what I learned. You can’t just be someone’s friend. Some people can’t be friends with the opposite sex that’s ok. Some women I only wanted to be friends liked me for more but I couldn’t see us being more than friends.
NO... Even if they are not attracted to each other, it would cause suspicions in relationships.
💯
If suspicions arise in your relationship, you clearly don’t trust them 100%. If you did in fact trust your partner, you know he/she wouldn’t do anything behind your back because you know they respect you enough. And if you know they respect you enough and you trust them, you would be having no suspicions.
@@munalisaaa8560 y’all keep throwing that word trust around but cheating is at epidemic levels right now
@@munalisaaa8560 why would your gf/wife need male friends?
@@ilijeganu273 I never said she needs them but if she has them that’s her right... you can’t stop someone from having friend’s of the opposite gender. And vice versa.
My sister was hanging in out with her ex-boyfriend (s) while she has a long distance relationship with another guy. I told her that it was morally incorrect to be hanging out with the ex-boyfriend. She kept asking me...why can’t she be friend with all her exes? I told her that the ex-boyfriend (s) still has feelings for her, she may not feel the same except that she was using him (them) so she is not lonely. She sees nothing wrong with this. I asked her....what if your long distance BF has an ex-girlfriend and is hanging out with her? How would she feels? If you don’t think it’s wrong to be hanging out with your exes while you are in a relationship then tell your BF in which she never did.
I agree with you guys...men and women cannot be friend if they were in a intimate relationship and if one is still have feelings after the breakup. It would take two very mature and highly evolved individuals to be friends after the fact. What about current and future relationships, do they matter?
Men and women can be great friends as long it’s platonic.
Not if he is attractive remember this word take care of yourself and health you be highly attractive end of story
They can be friends if there’s no mutual attraction
exactly
Keyword mutual
There is mutual attraction by default
It will develop overtime bro
@@pitster1105 Only with chosen future lovers
I had two childhood male friends and I had to cut ties woth them because both of them tried to kiss me... So I don't believe in that ,,brother-sister" relationship anymore🤣
Did you know before the kiss attempts that these guys wanted more than just friendship?
@@emanuelmota7217 No, I didn't. Now that I look back at it, there were some signals, but I wasn't aware of them at that time.
@@emaa2723 just don't use guys like that. Honestly man, they don't want to just be your friend. It's the sad reality. If you don't want them romantically, please make it known.
@1 Trompet That’s called making a move…
@@enigmafiresup4658 tf no why didn’t HE specify he was feeling her. The initial agreement was friendship. That’s not on her
Definitely agree if there is no feelings a friendship between the sexes has the potential to work but overtime, one or both people can also develop feelings. Most of the females i consider friends, i've envisioned sleeping with them. i think that is always in the back of our minds as men. Given the opportunity, we would sleep with a woman whether we have feelings for her or not. I personally do not date or commit to women who stay in constant contact with their exes. You dont have to control her by telling her to stop talking to her ex/ childhood male friend or whatever she want to label him. You can only control you. So if you have issue with a girl you are perusing/dating/in a long term relationship/married too, being friends with another man. Communicate that to her. Do not fall for the shaming tactics of "you re being insecure" etc, because she will use that to manipulate you to try get her way. Then remove yourself from the equation. Leave her with the option and the choice to decide if that friendship is more valuable than the relationship she has with you. but make sure you establish this well before you get into a legal binding situation like marriage.
You definitely sound insecure. If she has never "done" anything with that friend before you then you are playing on fear. If she looks to that guy for emotional support that's one thing. But if nothing has happen and that man is respectful of the relationship then the problem is you
@@anbillie there's nothing wrong with being insecure. its a instinctive feeling we all have when we recognize certain behaviors patterns in other people that could lead to betrayal. Let me ask you this. do you lock your car when you exist it? do you lock your doors when you walk into or leave your home? you can be in a safe neighborhood and i guarantee you said yes to those questions. Most men, given the opportunity, will sleep with a woman. doesnt matter if we have feelings, a connection or even physical attraction. That why i believe Hafeez said he dont trust other men. because he is a man and knows how we think. If you don't believe me, test my theory . If your a female, offer 5 of your male friends sex and see how many would lay with you.
@@PanSlayah There is a problem with projecting your insecurity. Like i said. If that woman gave you reason to fear then you question it. But if she has had no previous encounters with this man before your arrival why overact? You trust or you dont. That example of locking your car makes no sense. But in some neighborhoods I dont lock my car. My reaction to my safety is entirely dependant on my environment. You choose what woman to trust your heart with. Everything is a risk. I've dated a woman who slept with a friend. He is still in her life but nothing else has happen. We have set boundaries that she cant sleep at his house or vice verse. But I dont have the right to say they can no longer be friends. That's silly
@@anbillie okay so your a male. logically you might be missing my overall point which is fine. im aware my delivery needs work. If you are okay with your lady remaining friends with a man she has sexual past with, that is fine. Set boundaries. But realize you set those boundaries out of insecurity. because you know given the opportunity, she would sleep with him again. not saying that setting boundaries is bad thing. but from what im understanding from your logic, if you trust her, you shouldn't have to tell her what she basically can do. In the same scenario, i would also set boundaries. if she is in CONSTANT/FREQUENT contact with that guy she had sexual relations with, then we have a problem. if its once in a blue, like every 6 months or something, thats not a big deal. if they doing lunch dates, or she going by his house for one and ones thats a huge problem for me. women are more impulsive in nature and are emotionally driven. not to mention, they have what every man wants between their legs so cheating is far less work for a female vs a man. Understand, infidelity doesnt just start with sex, especially with women. It starts with conversation. All you need is the right mouth piece. Better safe than sorry. But that just my take on it.
@@PanSlayah Actully I'm a gay woman dating a bisexual woman. It's always about boundaries. The truth of the matter is control is a false state. I could date a woman that randomly cheats for any reason. She has a past with this individual. The point is it was one incident. If he was her ex then additional steps would have to be taken. But creating absolute rules about opposite sex friends is silly. If there was a clear cut answer for this question we wouldnt be discussing it. Human reproductive urges and sexual needs can produce crazy behavior. Men and women can be friends but it needs careful balance and honesty. I have guy friends who told me they liked me. I'm gay and didnt want it. Guess what? We are friends. Because a boundary had been set in place. Being friend isnt the absence of any level of attraction. Its valuing someone more than that attraction and desire.
I agree that men & women being friends only works if there is no attraction on either end . Even if one person is attracted, it can create tension which could potentially compromise the relationship. However, I also believe you can acknowledge that your friend of the opposite sex is attractive but still be able to limit it to a genuine friendship if their values, beliefs, etc. are not in line with yours and you know you wouldn’t pursue anything further. But that type of situation requires self-awareness and being honest with yourself and the other party about feelings and intentions. Bottom line though, you should probably be more occupied with yourself, family, career, etc., so any friends that are a part of your life must really be providing meaningful and fulfilling interaction in my opinion. Unless that friend of the opposite sex means that much to you, the friendship is probably unnecessary and could be rooted in attraction or deeper feelings. Just know yourself and ask the right questions !
thank you for sharing
When I clicked this video, I thought "only if there's zero attraction".
There's only been three girls that I've been good "friends" with. When I say "friends" I mean like the type of girl that you'd hangout one on one with, get coffee, have long conversation, sit with her in church, go on a hike together, etc. Stuff like that.
The first one, I fell in love with her like mad, she didn't feel the same way, and we broke the friendship off. Second time, the girl was super into me, but I didn't feel the same way. Third time, I was into her, she was into me, but I lied to her and said I wasn't interested because I had lied to her about something important, and it would have crushed me continuing the lie, because she has a good heart.
Then we had a semi-big argument where after like a couple of months of not talking, we agreed to hangout. She flaked, and didn't say a word while cancelling. So I basically said "Look you were disrespectful, so I think it could be best that we not talk anymore." She gets super angry, calls me childish, tells me I'm being ridiculous, and says she was afraid to tell me that her mom had come home from the hospital that day from surgery, etc and she was the primary caregiver so she didn't respond, etc. We made up within five minutes, and THEN......
Coronavirus happened, and I haven't talked to shorty in like a month now. So that's the BS I'm on y'all. Men and women cannot be friends, and TBH after these experiences, from now on I'm not being friends with any girl. If I fuck with her like that, I'm going for man vs woman conversation, and if not I'm not gonna waste my time. Girls get hurt, and I got hurt once with this as well. No more.
thank you for sharing
The way I see it, there is a clear distinction between a friendzone relationship and a friendship. If at ever one person desires more (romance) from the other person but suppresses it either by their request or personal decision THAT is a friendzone relationship. Nowadays, we assume a dynamic is friendship when it is clearly a friendzone dynamic for a slew of different reasons but the friendship only exists when sexual desire/romantic interest is non existent.
This answer needs more likes you got it spot on man
Agree, its hard. You can be friendly to a women. The women see you as friends, men having atraction want romantic. The man dont want to ruin it but their can be a sad consequence. Its a girl i like but we are friends, but rejection hurts as people know. I still respect her, talk to her little. Wether about question for example. But for men they rarely talk to women on CHAT spesificaly in non romantic way. In irl thats another thing. If wanna chat , just chatting with the boys.
Only if there's no sexual feelings involved from both individuals.
exactly
I think that it's easier when there is no mutual attraction...but if you're attracted to one another physically, both have to be mature enough to know that they don't like the other person romantically. If you're sleeping with the person, y'all are not truly friends, because once the other person starts actually dating someone or gets in a relationship, that person needs to CLEARLY back off and be understanding and respectful of what's going on and if they want to hang out, why not hang with both every once in a while. Just show some boundary.
I agree, no physical attraction from either party. However it starts to get complicated when you are already in a committed relationship. It can’t violate the boundaries of your current relationship.
@@jshudo44 For sure. If already in a relationship there should be no need to make friends of the opposite sex. Current opposite sex friends need to fall back, and respect the relationship. Wishing well on the holidays, or having double dates and group outings are fine...but doing things in private? Nah...Bae should be included.
@@tearragunter3803 you hit the nail on the head with the last part. 👍
I strongly concur with the point that was brought up “if there’s is attraction present,” having a strictly platonic relationship wouldn’t be as viable
Exactly
If you’re still stuck on seeing every encounter between a women as potential sex then no. But I have a male friend. We’ve been friends since I was 17. Nothing sexual has ever happened. He tried to cross that line but I made it very clear to him and he respected that.
Your not friends than he wants something from you & you won’t give it to him .
It’s impossible men & women can’t be friends
He crossed the line alreadyyou know what wants you put him in the friend zone hes gonna orbit untill he finds sum better
My ex would tell his female friends when we had problems. They would text him all the time and I became insecure which perpetuated our rift. I was fairly certain most of them had an agenda even if he didnt recorocate it felt like a sort of disrespect. In the end my insecurity ended the relationship. If I didnt believe it before, I trult believe it now that you cannot really be friends with the opposite sex without it being tricky. Best to not.
EXACTLY! This is very common when it’s the other way around as well.
There's a term for that: Emotional Infidelity
ABSOLUTELY NOT....reading the comments
Women --> YES!
Men --> absolutely NOT!
Women, WE ARE LITERALLY TELLING YOU WE CAN'T BE JUST FRIENDS AND YOU ARE STILL OBLIVIOUS TO IT. The only friend of the opposite sex that you should have is your WIFE. Anything other than that is just creating a current and/or future problem for yourself and your dating life.
Also telling us that in your idea we aren't compatible in a purely intellectual way. Perhaps that is showing us that we shouldn't enter romantic realtionships with you either
Me > yes but usually no
(Male)
@@ilincabogza ummm...no ....men are saying we're not going to waste time with women who don't want us
@@timothymccray6034 if the only valuable thing about a woman is a sexual relation with you then you dont actually view us the way we are. That is your problem buddy, but not all men are as limited as you are. Peace out
@@ilincabogza its not about sex but respect....i don't look down on women or. View them as less than..heres a good example..say u like a guy...hes hot to u....you want to sleep with him....but it he tells you sex is all he would offer you...you would say no....u would require he be a friend a companion emotionally invested in you and a support source...even tho u want and need his sex...its about respect...you just not gonna give him your body cause u like him....now lets flip it around...i want and need friendship from women....but if that all she has to offer.....thats not enough..now women I meet and know thru career or social circles who are cool than yeah we can be friends....but it would stay within those boundaries...and if there isn't any attraction from either party it would stay in that lane naturally....but if a guy wants to get closer it's because hes attracted to you...and those interactions wont be the same as it would be with two guys or two girls....why?....he doesn't see you as a man...he doesn't see you platonically..and yes as a man there are spaces where I expect a physical presence with a woman..and that zone is a personal private intimate connection based purely on a fondness of each other like a real friend.....but a girl....thus the term GIRLFRIEND...lol..i mean if I wanted a true platonic friendship I would hang out with a guy..
It's crazy I was just having a conversation about this just about a week or 2 ago with a "friend"lol and you guys hit it right on the head that's exactly how I explained it exactly how I feel about it If we're married we should be best friends we should be able to tell each other anything we should be able to talk to each other about anything and support each other and not judge each other.
If you understand a healthy dynamic in a relationship, it's impossible for women to be bestie with their husbands. It means you are equal in the eye of your wife. She'll lose her burning desire for her husband. Women tend to date up and men tend to date down. Equal means she can do better and you're her second choice. A man needs to lead for her to follow and she'll do anything to keep you around. And leadership comes from a hierarchy of competence.
In my opinion, when a guys says he's worried about other men trying to get with his wife or girlfriend what he's really saying is that he doesn't trust his wife or girlfriend around other guys
Ha! There is always one friend who falls and then someone denies but that mutual respect keeps it platonic. But it alwayyssss goes there esp of both persons look good. Important notice- they both have to look good!
thank you for sharing
Attraction can happen over time. It is never a good bet. One of you will usually end up in the friend zone. Friend zone friends will consciously or subconsciously plot the demise of your relationships.
No. There is always some time of attraction. Which leads to some type of fuck up in the relationship.
Yes. I have female friends and nothing has ever happened.
My since passed best female friend was my sister from another mister. She was my relationship advice buddy, and I talked to her about damn near everything.
My other good female friend is my gaming buddy. Yes, we tried dating and it didn't work out. But there's no residual or hard feelings there.
You guys need to do an episode about ghosting
we should
@@TheRoommatesPodcast It's a rising pandemic these days. Social niceties and common decency are being thrown out the window with this advent of social media.
How many males will actually hang out with an ugly chick tho? and how many females actually hang out with ugly dudes? it never happens. People always wanna hang out with the attractive people whether they admit it or not
Do some people really only search for good looking friends lol
@@pastelqueenwudel it’s not conscious a lot of the time
@@pastelqueenwudel i just hate it when girls ask questions like this. No it’s not on purpose, it’s subconscious, thus the point: men and women can’t be friends
@@Aden_III bullshit
@@pastelqueenwudel you are delusional. None of our grandparents had opposite gender friends because they were more honest and understand this
They can be friends within boundaries and not being attracted to each other makes it easier to maintain some healthy space. I just feel, it is sad to deprive each other of a great friendship just because of them being of the opposite gender. It's possible, just not easier.
not easy at all
You also have to respect your intimate partner and the relationship that you’re already in as well. So that makes it even more difficult to have “platonic” friends of the opposite gender.
@Lady E I never said that it was impossible, it just makes it more difficult while you’re already in a relationship. There are boundaries within that friendship that cannot be crossed. There cannot be any physical attraction from either side.
So if a man gets friendzoned, but still has feelings for the woman he likes. Either he will wait around hoping that she’ll change her mind, or the woman will try to get him to do the boyfriend tasks for her without getting the boyfriend privileges. Once the guy is friendzoned, he has every right to walk away and try to pursue someone else that has the same feelings towards him.
Men and women can definitely be friends because every man isn't attracted to every woman. Some women are just cool to hang out with but they're not your type at all and you'll never see them in a sexual light
Nahhh 😂 my man will not need any female energy at the level of "friendship". Acquaintances, couple friends, and co-workers sure. Anything else no way José.
Might be an unpopular opinion, but I think men and women can be friends. I understand if when you're in a relationship, seeing your girl having close guy friends and vice versa might feel a bit questionable. But what if you're single and the other persons single as well? You guys have any thoughts on single guys & girls being friends?
Single men and women cant be friends. It blocks you (both) from finding your true match because you have a "friend" you're pouring into instead of giving off SINGLE energy
they can be friends
@@nisha2568yesss amazing answer i am agree with you yess
I think if you are under a certain age...but once you get older things change
very interesting
@@TheRoommatesPodcast I had female friends even in my twenties... because I had a woman and valued there friendship...as you get older friendships really matter
You’re too kind “I would never tell her she can’t” lol...over here, it would be a STRONG “NO”
My best friend is a male and we've been friends for the last 13 years. NEVER ONCE have I EVER looked at him as a potential mate. And NEVER ONCE has he EVER tried to make a move on me. I see him as my brother and nothing else. So, YES! Men and Women CAN be friends.
Only a lame wants a bitches friend ship
Only a matter of time sis.
LOL he is lowkey in love with you unless he is gay.
Text him and tell him you wanna hook up and see what he says. I bet he drops whatever he's doing to come on over.
Keep telling yourself that... You might not like him like that, but he likes you...
“Chris the star of the show babaaaay”
Favorite part every time
I just shared this to a woman who wants to be just friends. Lemme see what happens. Thanks bruhs for the content
Yes! Even if you have liked that person and they didn't like you back , you have to be mature enough to be a good sport and accept it so that you can enjoy the friendship (from experience). The way I see it it depends on maturity level
Sounds about right 😌
Yeah you can be "friends" that never hangout one on one. That's not what the guys are talking about. They're talking about men and women being friends that really hangout and get drinks every other weekend one on one.
NBA World ik, and I still stand by my point
it does depend on a lot
I have many men friends, they are really good friends too. Their qualities are attractive, but there is not romantic attraction between us. It's very cool!
glad it works out
“ many men friends” smells like bullsheitt🤣
You know belong the streets
@@juggernautjay307 Hahahaha! You're funny. 🤣🤣🤣 I do though. I've known them all for a very long time, some I grew up with. They are all like big and little brothers to me. Most have families and I'm friends with their wives and girlfriends and their children call me auntie. Our friendship is what life long friendships look like and it's beautiful!
So nobody developed feelings through all that time? I mean you can have feelings, get over it and continue but it may have happened somewhere..
I can be (and am) friends with women, but only if I'm not physically or emotionally attracted to them. (that's not to say I would NOT sleep with them if the circumstance arose, but I'm not preoccupied with that outcome). I've tried to be friends with a woman who I was VERY attracted to, but I eventually broke it off, because it was basically torture for me. I wanted MUCH more and she did not. I kept getting my hopes up, only to have them dashed EVERY TIME. So I stopped ALL communication with her a few years ago. I learned the hard way - I can NOT be JUST friends with a woman I'm attracted to. (and I believe this applies to all men). btw - ever see a married man who has close female friends?? Me, neither. The wives would NEVER allow it, because they KNOW.
Just like men being very wary of their woman having a lot of guy friends. Things can get very violent very quickly.
I can be attracted to my friends...but I dont let my attraction lead my actions...I'm so confused
how so
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 that’s discipline you can be attracted to people without actually doing anything
@@TheRoommatesPodcast didn't realize attraction was so distracting to other people. It's just a theory but I always thought that no guy even speaks to a woman unless he is attracted to her on some level. Moa is dont make a move so I don't see the harm in being attracted to my friends.
I feel the same way but don't think many people can relate unfortunately...
Exactly, self control. Not all things should be acted on.
I have had male friends try to kiss me, and say they loved me, and one blocked me because I was loyal to my boyfriend. I do have male friends and now I am single, but we don't hang out 1 on 1 it's always in a group. I personally get along great with me ,but I don't seek out all these close male besties.
Me in my 20s: "Nope!"
Me in my 30s: "Sure, why not!?"
He's an attractive man, but we don't share the same values when it comes to family and relationships.
Very valid point!
thank you for sharing
Good point!
Okay keep showing him concern you gonna get stuffed .
You can’t be friends with anyone you’re not attracted to. It’s either mentally, sexual or both. I assume he means “you can’t be friends with someone you’re sexually attracted to.”
I agree w hafeez. If there is no attraction to each other then there is no room for excuses. Even if you’re best friends w a girl/guy that’s 10/10.
thank you for sharing
Am I the only one here that believes in man-woman friendships ? I have girl friends for years, never had any feelings for them other than friendship, and i see some of them like sisters :)
it can happen
No, but it's sadly getting rare..people are not taught about the principles and values of friendship..instead they r looking to conquer someone
I was scrolling for your comment. I have many women friends on more than "friendly" terms, and with some of them (nearly half a dozen) we're as far as hanging out one on one for a couple of hours straight
You have cheered me up now.
@@selenasimmons6653 ABsolutely. Men often if not usually see 'the friend zone' as failure.
This is a North American issue. Still can't say for sure but I do strongly believe that with all that covered passive aggressive sexual energy leads to subconscious challenges that won't be resolved. I had many men friends in Germany and as soon as I moved across the continent that all changed in a flash, which included unbelievable sexual harassment that I can write books about. So it is definitely a cultural thing!
it definitely can be
I wish you would write the book. We need true stories to read.
What u mean harrsment like flirting and shooting their shot is not harassment stalking to ur car/house after u said no is.
As a group friend yes but if it’s one on one then somebody is going to be heartbroken and both of them are wasting their time.
I love this 😂♥️ y’all had me crackin up but always followed up by very good point. Great channel
We can be friends but I ain’t gonna deny the attraction and that’s okay. Honestly most of my female friends I’ve smashed have had moments we still “friends” but I ain’t denying the attraction ain’t nothing wrong with that
My male friend and I have been friends for 15 years. The main reason we stayed friends so long is because we honestly hate being social. We would use the other one as an excuse to get out of events lol
Basically...you're not married yet? Watch until you are...especially! If your future partner is insecure and doesn't like the idea of you having an "attractive" long time friend. LoL! You will have to respect their wishes, because you automatically have to respect him. Even if he is insecure and manipulating you. I don't mind my future partner having Male friends, but I'm not the norm and I'm secure of myself. This kind of experience happened to me, just this week! LoL! It's pretty much her husband's insecurity brainwashing her. And my friendship with this lady was 16 years old.
Learned that the hard way this year, I thought a guy was my friend and he ended up hitting on me, while he had a girlfriend and I was shocked. Anyways he ended up deleting me. I was hurt cause I really did think we were friends
Lol imagine being suspicious of your SO's friends. Like do people dating bisexual people dont allow them to have friends? Lol! I will say it depends.
If the dude is a simp, no. If the girl is manipulative/looks down on him, no. If they dont respect each other and are immature, no. If there is no communication in the relationship, no. If there is constant flirting, no.
Personally, my best friend is a guy. But I'm not very girly, so I never got along well with most girls. I'm not a looker either and neither is he. I'm not attracted to him at all, and I have very good self control. There was this guy a while ago who complimented my... thighs... and I liked him well enough. But he didnt share my values or morals, so I turned him down EVEN THOUGH I WAS ATTRACTED. And my buddy? We play video games together, we don't just "hang out". If he had a girlfriend, I'd be f*cking ecstatic, because it means there's a third player. And if I had a boyfriend, I'd most likely make it clear that there's no romance, and to treat it like it is. I'll mention that we'd been friends for years, so if we were gonna do something, we'd have already done it lmao.
And if my boyfriend had a close female friend? If she's cool, she's cool. I'll treat it like it is, if I see romance then it's there. If I dont see it, then there's no reason for suspicion. And I'd play video games with them if I really felt like the situation is fishy, but it really depends.
I'll weigh in as a just turned 30 year old with many female best friends throughout college and grad school.
If there is no mutual attraction it can work, but if not there will be an orbiter. WHY am I friends with girls I'm not attracted to? Multiple reasons: lack of competition, emotional safety, and SOCIAL PROOF for other girls I am interested in.
The best thing a single guy in school can do is maintain a friendship with a woman he recognizes is objectively attractive but whom he himself is not attracted to, because if there's genuine friendship there, it will serve as the BEST social proof possible.
You can call me an asshole for dropping a truth bomb but that's the reality I've lived since 21.
Yes both can be friends;The one that is attracted to their friend can try to make a relationship happen ,but nothing is gonna happen if the other do has boundaries otherwise known as the friend zone.
@@abelanc1090 congrats I suppose, but like I said it depends on BOTH individuals(Not just one )
I do think men and women Can Be friends but you have to be grown and have standards. Beautiful people aren't that distracting.
true
@@TheRoommatesPodcast NO.
If y'all aren't business partners, grew up together or really providing real value to each other then wtf am I being friends with you for?
Exactly
I have a few male close friendships..HOWEVER we don't meet up but MAYBE once a yr..we have been friends since we were teenagers, and their spouses know all the details..one of these men actually told me it has always been a true friendship..but he and I are not apart of ea others daily lives..it's a catch up during the holidays type of deal..and not since college has it been just us..it's spouses, kids, frmr spouses, anthr family member tht is around..these folks are darn near extended family! But I can count them on one hand..and two of them hang in the same group
So if you don't meet up then they you chat with them on the phone?
Opposite sex friends: never test the waters for something that's not waterproof. It's not that I don't trust my partner. I trust my partner to not have these friends.
For me no. As many have said earlier in the comment section. if there is any physical attraction or connection its not going to work. I experienced this recently. most devastating experience i ve been through as of recent.
thank you for sharing
What happened (if you don’t mind sharing)?
I believe that they can be friends.but Only in one condition ... If he can control him self not to tell her how he feels and if she can ignore the signs or doesn't care what he feels.... Of course they can be friends forever
Friends that do business i keep it choopy. Real talk
There will be attraction and if I have a girlfriend she ain’t having no bestie or we’re not together
Yes, men and women can be platonic friends, but no man should have time to be platonic friends with a woman. A man’s top priorities should be his “Purpose”, rotation girls, and family. With those 3 things being a man’s priority; how does a man have time for platonic women friends? #alphamalemindset
thank for sharing
Agreed to what the first guy said. I think men and women can be friends. Tbh i think its weird to think other wise since or else every guy would hit on any girl they are friends with WICH almost never happens. A man can be friends with a women, be friendly. The moment he has ATRACTION for her then its a different story, so a friend ship wich was both of their eyes is now unbalanced. Becauser the man is seing a potential relationship , viewing the women as potential romantic partner. At that mome its very hard for men to restraint , all together be friends. Thats why i think being best friends with a women is playing with a knife either it can stab you or be used for eating meal. Its not black or white. I have had many women as friends, you prob has aswell. Few had atraction to and some not. I think best friends should be a tilte to same sex as in male and male. Because being best friend with a women is time consumin and can be painful if you have feeling for them.
Hafeez & Nissi can be friends 💃 wonderful topic!
lol
Love this episode.
To the females that I'm attracted too and she rejected me and said all I see you as a friend and that's it !!!!! I will leave you alone, Stop chasing you , Stop Calling and Texting You ,Bc. I will always have deep feelings and want more then a Friendship from you!!!!!!
Honestly it is about insecurity on the person clinging to opposite sex friends....they have low self esteem and they need that energy feed. Mature people have figured out that you and your mate should be on the same page/morals 😁😁😁😁 You guys Rock!!!!
Depends on the attraction and level of it.
very true
Exotic cuddling 😂
That’s where it start going into the other direction
@@shaquangreen8832 hello
Short & sweet ~ I like it
he cleared it up if its sexual attraction its over
Yep, that’s the only way it’s worked for me.
100%
Absolutely Not!!!
how come
Sorry for the late response. First I think people use the word "friend" too loosely. A true friend is a sacred position to hold in someone's life. A true friend is a confidante, a supporter someone you love, someone you entrust with your Hope's, dreams, secrets, fears, etc. The nature of a man makes it darn near impossible for those friendship qualities listed above to mix with the opposite sex. Add attraction and you have a full blown relationship. Yes, friendship is a type of relationship but it's very hard to operate as a "friend" esp if there is an attraction. Most men and women have a "friend" of the opposite sex who is waiting in the wings to become more than just friends. This is why they say the best relationships are rooted in friendship because love is fleeting but if you have a foundation of friendship then you have something to stand on during those times where you or your partner make it hard to love. I dont want my man having opposite sex friends. He has a friend in Jesus and I should be the person he turns to confide in and share his Hope's, dreams and fears. Allowing opposite sex friends is very dangerous to any relationship because it can quickly turn into smthg more
Question: Can Men and Women be freinds? - Answer: No. - Case closed.
NO NEVER...By nature it is not possible. Steve Harvey explains why this is true the best
Its unecessary for men and women need to be friends, especially a woman in a relationship/marriage. Men are sneaky like you said. What if you get in an arguement and that male "friend" offers to "comfort" your wife/gf while she's emotional. A promiscuous woman will use the "your insecure" excuse. If she's a loyal woman that respects you, she wont have male friends just like you as a husband/bf wont have female friends.
Great topic 👌 i hope you do a whote episode about it
we might
Yaw bringing the line. FactSet
HELL NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT
FUCK NOOOOOO!!!...Women can't have their Cake and eat it too, and if she gets mad about a man putting their foot down, that's complete Bullshit...I just went through this shit with an Ex wanting to be just "friends"...please, shut that shit down.
This fools laugh though 😭😭😭
I think the real question we need to be asking is why are so many people getting friend zone
No, they can't.
Also, I'm not going to allow anyone to forget that for years and years guys who were highly suspect of the idea of being "only friends with a girl" were mislabeled as "losers." They were ahead of the power curve by several decades.
Glad the manosphere finally caught up.
Hell to the naw.....to the naw naw naw....heeeeell to the naw!
-Bishop Bullwinkle
Two Dimensional figure 😂😂😂
If there is attraction it’s over
Medusa was beautiful as fuck actually lol
If a man has been without sex for a long time, there is no way he is not going to want sex at some point
You have a super cute laugh so genuine ❤️ you two are funny and awesome 😂❤️ love you ❤️
Like Myron from fresh n fits said, friendship only benefits the woman, not the man.
Man: I don't like women authors. Woman: You enjoyed that P.D. James I gave you. Man: P.D. James isn't a woman. Woman: She most certainly is.
I feel like yes but it’s very individual the relationship and boundaries and honestly like tension should be voiced with clear direction of the end result weather you want to overstep the boundary or choose friendship again.. idk I’m still trying at it bc I do like guys. This is how it just hit me it’s like a store you you can walk around in dressed with clothes but not go in with intentions of leaving with anything else or trying anything on, such as having your women who you enjoy being with and build with and have women you enjoy being In the presence of but you have to be honest with yourself and know what it is you’re enjoying and how much of it will turn into something else
Like with enough cold water turns to ice and enough pressure turns rocks to diamonds
Biggest lie ever told
how come
The Roommates Podcast remember god created man and woman to be together in a romantic relationship any women I ever loved it was like she was my friend first most people in relationships ask them how did it start they will tell you they we’re friends first
The answer is: NO
no
what if you have been firends for 20 years.... Maybe there is attraction though.... but you're good firends... you're both in other relationships or married... you can't hang out??
Is that your real laugh?
yes lol