Some of you commenting really did not get the message that was being said here. Money isn't everything. Christina didn't work for the scholarship, it was handed to her by a woman who wasn't even her own mother. A woman that treated her like a doll while ignoring her own daughter. Christina was forgetting her own roots and she needed a firm reminder of how much her mom sacrificed for her.
If money isn’t everything then why jump the border, that too illegally. Stay in Mexico and be simple. You can’t expect to come to another country and expect your children to be just like you. Want to come to America without having anything to do with America.
@@autumnstar7346 I don’t think simple life is always the root the issue for some foreigners.. other factors like corruption and leadership etc plays a big part.
@@autumnstar7346 I can't describe how disgusting your comment was. It's very easy for you to say that when you don't live our reality, changing countries does not mean to change the person overall, that's called humility, you can actually use some.
@@skid0799 what do mean “our” reality. In case you’re thinking I’m an ignorant white person. I’m not white. I’m a naturalized US citizen myself, from Canada, and my parents in turn we’re immigrants to Canada as well. Brown person here speaking from first hand experience. So don’t talk to me about humility, culture and what to change or not change for that matter.
It's challenging to understand... But if you are Latino and grew up in the USA you know what the message behind this was. You know what your parents, tías/tíos, abuelitos were trying to teach you. We lose our identity as we assimilate and try to fit in. And more important than scholarships, careers or materialistic things in the world is knowing who we are and that the rejection of your family, culture and roots is not worth it. This scene always makes me wanna cry when I come back to it bc it reminds me of my ma when I made her cry, rejecting her and my roots.
My mother (una mexicana así que no me salgas con mamadas wey) was also judged because she only listened to music in English, when everyone expected, complained, and demanded her to listen to Latin music. She listened to Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed, Ian Hunter, Pat Benatar, David Bowie, The Beatles, The Kinks, etc. But many people complained to her telling her she was a sold-out sacrificing her identity and her culture. Let me tell you what she told me. "I didn't lose anything, I defined my own identity. I choose what I like. I don't let the house, family, or homeland tell me what I like." As for me, I don't expect the future generations to carry on my tastes, culture nor identity. And like her I did the same, I don't listen to any Mexican music, I don't like Mexican spicy food and I am an otaku who embraces and likes the Japanese cultural tastes. And I love who I have become. I do however still keep her vast collection of vinyl and cd records of the greatest Rock artists of her generation that she loved and enjoyed. Not because she asked me to, but because she told me that with each day they increase their value. And none of those records is from a Latino. You wanna cry, be my guest. But stop thinking that everyone who adapts to new cultures is losing something instead of giving away something they didn't like nor asked in the first place. My godfather’s wife was born and raised in France and has no Latin heritage whatsoever, yet she loves Mexican culture more. And unlike some, I don't judge her because of that.
As a Mexican I don't understand this, i have always lived in Mexico and if they offered me a scholarship and a being able to win more money is totally worth it for me. If she was so into "heritage" and her roots why did she even moved to the US in the first place
It’s also like with traditions, nostalgia and technology; we’re a completely different society than we were 20 years ago. There’s almost a disappointment when past pleasures are replaced with new because it feels like rejection.
idk, i used to think that i remember watching this movie and thinking it but not so much anymore. now i feel like culture is more often than not an antiquated barrier preventing people from evolving and society from integrating/advancing as a result. i think being in touch and aware of/ educated about our respective cultures is great but we shouldnt prioritize its preservation over everything else. that being said here at her age yeah i completely understand why her mom feels this way
@@alalal123421 I agree that culture (especially those mostly revolving around religion or superstition) can at times hinder progress. However the inclusion of diversity over integration challenges us to learn beyond our own knowledge and teaches us tolerance. If we learn to avoid othering those unlike ourselves, we can also hopefully learn to never dehumanize each other.
I remember this came out when I was in college. As a child to Middle Eastern immigrants, this movie had a profound effect on me and I will never forget this scene.
People in the comments say Flor was over reacting taking Cristina out of the private school, BUT LEAVING HER IN THE PRIVATE SCHOOL STILL GAVE DEBORAH ACCESS TO CRISTINA. Deborah tried treating Cristina like her own daughter while ignoring her own. My mom had to separate me from the mother of one of my friends who tried to do this when I was in second grade. She didn't take me out of school, but I wasn't allowed to go to that friend's house because her mom tried keeping me for a whole week, dropping me off and picking me up from school and going to her house, before my mom had to finally threaten to call someone about it if she didn't let my mom leave with me. All I mostly remember from that was sitting on the family couch while this woman yelled at her daughter for something then come out to the living room and asked what I wanted for dinner. My mom extended the stranger danger talk to include my friends' parents so I wouldn't get into that woman's car ever again.
But leaving with a friend's parents is not stranger danger! Close friends can be family too! I don't believe that blood is thicker than water. Anytime anyone says THAT, I gag. My mother is not a bad person but she is a prude, like Flor was. I'm glad she came to this country years before I was born so she could assimilate! But she's still a fuddy-duddy in some ways. I don't like that. She's not a bad person but that doesn't alter the fact that she and I are enmeshed. It stifled me then and it still does; that's why I moved out (in addition to because of my worsening disability)!
The un-politically correct, taboo subject- stolen children and Munchausen syndrome by proxy (ie. maternal child abuse to get attention) are predominately a female traits and offenses. They don't make sense to the "normal", but it doesn't make them less real. Each gender has its own, unique things to be wary off. We've progressed far beyond our animal cousins, but there is still some primitive behaviors we exhibit.
To me, this is a powerful moment when the mom does one last ditch attempt of preventing her daughter from losing her origins. As a mexican, I can relate to the duo as my parents fought and sacrificed many things so me and my sister would grow up with the same principles as them and giving us things that we take for granted. The mom in this movie sees how society is negatively affecting her daughter and feels as if she's losing her to a woman who ignores her own. I feel that this is very relatable scenario where numerous immigrants travel to The United States in order to give their children a better future, but at the same time, start to regret their decision in due to their children adopting customs and values that go against their own. For the people who don't understand the message of the movie, you should really pay attention to the interactions between the characters...
This forever wil be my favorite movie scen of all time. I come back to it whenever I miss my Mother and all the life she gave me, as a child I grew uop similar to this girl in the film. A lot of what happened in the film has happened to me
Flor was 😢😭 overprotective 😢😭 and stifling 😢😭 In fact, I moved out of my mother's house precisely because she tried to force culture on me. Just because I have Hispanic heritage doesn't mean I have to love it. I don't like working class values. Not one little bit!!!! The reason I didn't move out the moment I came of age was because of my disabilities. And I wasn't going to move to a group home. As soon as I found out about retirement communities that take disabled people under 62, I started getting ready to move out of my mother's house. I didn't know about retirement communities that take people under 62 until 15 years ago; otherwise I would have moved out sooner, and visited my mother every other week.
I will never allow ANYONE to snatch me up, not even my own mother!!! This movie triggered me. I watched it before I knew about the "give me space" scene.
@@houseofmatrix6174 I disagree !!!!!! I believe in *nonviolence* and *honesty* but nothing else. Life has too many rules that feel like the emotional equivalent of straitjackets.
I think many people have not seen this movie but it is one of my favorites. A great story and Paz Vega is a very good actress as are the child actors in this. Well made.
Yes. I didnt like this movie. Hell she got a scholarship and was going to a good school. The white lady savwd her alot of money through that. And ahe just took that away from her daughter all for her damn pride.
@@sammy79722 It's called dignity-- quality of knowing your self-wort. Or you could call it self-esteem, something that white lady lost and we know where she ended up... You see, you were expecting a cheesy fairytale ending meanwhile missed the glory of eternal play.
This question, and especially the end of it "than me", together with the gentle theme by the guitar, has never failed giving me goosebump... It seems like I realize what I really am, though in fact who am I is still a difficult question in this messy world.
For everyone hating flor Christina had Princeton begging her to apply so she clearly got by great without that private school AND she grew up to be humble and loyal to her background
@@quadeong7453 quite often eg it's considered virtuous to serve one's country. Why and how does it depend on the person? Virtues don't depend on the person. but the behaviour showing high moral standards. Morals don't depend on the person. Not sure memory is a matter of choice either, at least certainly not always.
I don't understand how the school would make her so different from her mother though. Maybe the movie could've showed more of how the school was corrupting her? I didn't see Christina be anything but humble, kind and hard working
No no you can not do that to me I am really 38th anniversary celebration party years ago today I am really 38 years old guy you can not have me feel like I was in movie part in contact with her attention voice in side effects from her
She shouldn't have had to look for her. Bernice was her daughter, not Cristina. Instead of wanting her daughter to be like her(Cristina) she should've just accepted for who she is. How would she like it if Bernice wished Flor was her mother instead of her? Knowing Deborah, she'd go wild with grief.
I liked this film very complex and I thought the meaning of it was to appreciate what you have and the sacrifices of those who did so for you in the name of love in spite of the hardships they faced they strived to give us the next generation something of depth and truth to behold that can't be bought so easily only with blood and sacrifice and for love we have all the good things we know and the air we breath b/c somebody laid it down for us and we can always appreciate what was given for us to have.
Guys dont forget also that adam sandler wanted to be with her when she was only working with them wich it was going to complicate the whole situation , so everything was a no no
My mom and I got into a fight recently. She did all the yelling while I stayed silent. And I told her I need some space then she sends me this. I’m soo confused. - I’m confused she did the yelling, I’m pulling away, she’s trying to stop that, but she isn’t realizing the problem is her.
@@veneziasteph5898 I lost my my mother about 20 years ago. Still miss her much. Was anoyed when talked to her on the fone the last time, because she worried about me and all the small things. And three weeks later she was gone. Then I realized how much love she was giving to me and how little I was giving back... I think mother's are the most missed, not even as much as spouse or children.
To this day I still remember discussing this film in Spanish class, about the need to retain culture. One question popped up about why Flor took English lessons. My theory was that Flor initially thought it would help her but that eventually realized that by doing so, she was becoming too attached to the family, also becoming someone who she’s not. I had a classmate argue against that: that she took English to protect her Hispanic identity (that didn’t make sense but whatever). I think at the end of the day, Flor decided that this family posed a danger in terms of identity, that by showering Cristina with attention they’d eventually make her turn against her own mother. So she made the hard decision to sever all links between them. She still kept her rusty English but not at the cost of who she is.
False! it benefited her by learning English because she will have less of a hard time communicating in America. Since she’s going to live in America it will make her life easier understanding and communicating without a translator all the time.
So...I'm the only one acknowledging that the ending had everything to do with saving her daughter from being influenced by Deborah? It had nothing to do with Trading Mexican culture with American, but everything to do with not wanting her daughter to be raised by a mother who is completely, unstable emotionally and mentally?
This is something I feel very strongly about.... I understand Flor moved to America for a better life but she needs to accept that whatever country you live in, your son/daughter will grow up and and be involved and engrossed in THAT culture whether you like it or not. If Flor preferred her daughter to be more "mexican", instead of American (or any other culture for that matter) they shouldn't have left Mexico and should raise her in Mexico instead.
he vuelto a esta película para hacer mi tesis sobre las relaciones entre hijos con sus madres, esta última escena, desprende de mi memoria. La relación es complicada pero jamás rechazada, sí, soy hija de mi madre puede ser con el terror de encontrarnos en sus comportamientos que nos quejamos y, sí, soy hija de mi madre, porque soy quien soy por ella. Tratar de interiorizarlo, al menos en mí situación y mis casos de estudio, me ha dado muestra de cuán universal son estos encuentros y desencuentros que podemos tener con las madres. Cada vez que veo esta escena no dejo de pensar en Flor desde mi propia madre: mamá no quiero ser diferente a ti, si siempre fui feliz al saber que tuve a quien salir.
@@n.turner853 Christina didn't earn that scholarship. Deborah got it for her. Also she was becoming spoiled and forgetting who her mother was. She thanked Deborah for the scholarship and completely forgot about all the years of sacrifice her mother put in to raise her into a good person. Also, being more educated doesn't make someone better than someone else. Without humility that education is worthless.
I hated this girl 😂. Her mother did the right thing. It’s ok to go into that environment when she won’t be persuaded to leave her identity. At this age, she’s vulnerable to peer pressure.
What I took from this is them needing to leave because of the affair Flor had, and I'm trying to give Flor the botd thinking maybe she pulled her away from the private school so she'd have less chances of running into the family again which would make things more complicated?
If Flor wanted to she could’ve been selfish and stuck around and could’ve had some easy money while having an affair. Obviously Flor came to her senses.😉
Affair? Where did you get affair? The husband hates his wife as terrible as she is flor and the husband Wouldn’t have crossed that line. As we saw his crappy wife sure did. I really hope they got a divorce. But no I disagree flor had to make a hard choice for her daughters sake. It’s not that the opportunities wouldnt have made a big change in her life. They need to come the right way. That whole situation was just a little too much for flor to let happen.
The mom is wrong about there being no space between them. The daughter needs to have an identity that is individuated from her mother. Culture doesn't exempt people from resenting having their choices taken away.
Christina didn't work for those opportunities. She was being spoiled by someone who wasn't her mother. She was forgetting her roots and her working-clas values. She was also forgetting who raised her and who worked to provide for her before they met the Claskys. She thanked Deborah for the backpack and the necklace but forgot about the sacrifices her mother made for her.
We Latins are not hard-wired for college or university like Asians or Jews are. It's in the blood. We don't like to be tied up to a desk or a book, we are a mobile, free-caring people who only think of having fun and enjoying life. We are like the modern Mongols. At 17 I made the decision that I was not going to be an engineer or a doctor. The thought of me wasting 8 or 10 years in medical school and then being a slave to my profession was not very palatable. I decided to be a construction worker and have fun and freedom in my life. I'm making more than $65 an hour as a contractor, I make more than $150,000 a year, I love this life. I can take off for vacation whenever I want, up to 2 or 3 months at a time. I always wanted a big family so I have 5 kids. We latins love our families big, I wanted 7 kids but my wife stopped me cold at #5. We love sports and music, not books and college. This is the reason why Latin kids drop out at high school and don't bother with university. It just doesn't make sense, we only live to the age of 70 or 80, our bodies are broken by age 65, I want to have fun and enjoy life.
I hate that kind of message! I understand Christina is still a kid and Deborah tried to send her to another school without consulting her, but did she have to send her a message to be make her believe she will be conceited? if she can, she can get her homeschooling or something
I read a lot of comments from Mexicans here who are defending the mother’s character saying values, knowing your roots come first and not money or materialism.....okay so then why do you all jump over the border yo get to this country? Stay in Mexico and live simply there and be happy.
Now why don't you look down To where your feet is planted That u.s. soil that makes you take shit for granted If not for santa ana, just to let you know That where your feet are planted would be México Correcto!
@@valerievalencia2487 that is up to individuals, NOT for a society of a particular culture to decide for them. If she doesn’t want to be like her mom that is her choice. Culture is just manmade rules by society to make people conform to socially approves norms. In some societies women HAVE to behave and dress a certain way, be submissive because that is their culture and you will say those women should follow it? No culture is above the desires of what a person’s heart wants and they can live anyway they are happy to do so. This was more about the mother’s insecurities than what’s best for the girl.
I think Flor was being overdramatic throughout the whole movie. Sure she can go work somewhere else since she wasn’t getting along with Deb, but she didn’t need to take her daughter out of private school.
She should have kept her in the school. I get what they she was going for but still a dumb thing to do. It’s like me pulling my daughter out of private school and putting her into a city public school because she acting white and not from the streets
To become someone very different than me?..... a single mom who can't maintain a job, doesn't know the language of the country she is in, just got romantically involved with a married man and forced her daughter to quit a private school. The real question would be, why the hell would you want your daughter to end up like you? I'm Mexican and come from a working-class family, and I say this movie is a load of crap. I love how stupid parents complain about the space between them and their children right after they ruined their kid's lives (You know who taught me that lesson? My mom, she put a lot of space between her and my uncle and between her and my grandfather who keep ruining her life.)
You both clearly didn't understand my message. So I'll ask again: why the hell would she want her daughter to be like her? (Ignoring the question isn't gonna make it disappear hahahahaha 😂) _"Real fathers want their sons to be me more than they are. Not carbon copies."_ - Julia McNamara, NipTuck S1E4
I feel like if my family moved to another country and worked for a wealthy family who put me through private school and I earned a scholarship my parents would say f"$& everything your staying in that school. You can assimilate to where you move to (which I beg the question isn't that the point of moving countries) and keep your working class values and cultural heritage. It's what I don t like about this movie. To many contradictions. There was a way to keep with the claskys and still raise Christina to respect her heritage and values. Yes spoili g children to much is very bad but come on
StikWitClassics that is not the message. It is why someone chooses the opportunities given to them that is important. Not, whether or not they decide to partake in them.
The message goes so much deeper than opportunities presented to you. The opportunity Cristina was offered and wanted was at the risk/expectation that she would assimilate completely to white American culture, thereby leaving behind the culture and teachings of her mother -- and therefore leaving her mother behind or "upgrading" to the Clasky's way of life. That's evident when she says, "I need space," and her mother says, "There is no space between us." It's true. When my mom and I saw the movie, my mom, an immigrant, turned to me and said, "That's how it should be." If you have a different opinion that's fine -- but please be aware that the differences in opinion could stem with how different cultures view parent/child relationships. In Latino culture, the generations stick pretty close together, with some families having all generations living under one roof.
Alexia Fernandez that is true because at one point it was 9 people, 4 generations, living all together in my house. When she argued with her mother it reminded me of an argument I had with my mother in regards to my education. Both my parents and grandparents were poor with little to their name. Now that I'm older I appreciate the sacrifices they made just so we can have the best in our life. As an adult I understand why the mother did what she did. This scene is all about perspective but you can't really understand it unless you had similar experiences and somewhat of the same culture.
Some of you commenting really did not get the message that was being said here. Money isn't everything. Christina didn't work for the scholarship, it was handed to her by a woman who wasn't even her own mother. A woman that treated her like a doll while ignoring her own daughter. Christina was forgetting her own roots and she needed a firm reminder of how much her mom sacrificed for her.
The ending of this movie gave me so much to think about. why not take the scholarship? Maybe she didn't want to end up like Deborah?
If money isn’t everything then why jump the border, that too illegally. Stay in Mexico and be simple. You can’t expect to come to another country and expect your children to be just like you. Want to come to America without having anything to do with America.
@@autumnstar7346 I don’t think simple life is always the root the issue for some foreigners.. other factors like corruption and leadership etc plays a big part.
@@autumnstar7346 I can't describe how disgusting your comment was. It's very easy for you to say that when you don't live our reality, changing countries does not mean to change the person overall, that's called humility, you can actually use some.
@@skid0799 what do mean “our” reality. In case you’re thinking I’m an ignorant white person. I’m not white. I’m a naturalized US citizen myself, from Canada, and my parents in turn we’re immigrants to Canada as well. Brown person here speaking from first hand experience. So don’t talk to me about humility, culture and what to change or not change for that matter.
It's challenging to understand... But if you are Latino and grew up in the USA you know what the message behind this was. You know what your parents, tías/tíos, abuelitos were trying to teach you. We lose our identity as we assimilate and try to fit in. And more important than scholarships, careers or materialistic things in the world is knowing who we are and that the rejection of your family, culture and roots is not worth it.
This scene always makes me wanna cry when I come back to it bc it reminds me of my ma when I made her cry, rejecting her and my roots.
My mother (una mexicana así que no me salgas con mamadas wey) was also judged because she only listened to music in English, when everyone expected, complained, and demanded her to listen to Latin music. She listened to Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed, Ian Hunter, Pat Benatar, David Bowie, The Beatles, The Kinks, etc. But many people complained to her telling her she was a sold-out sacrificing her identity and her culture. Let me tell you what she told me. "I didn't lose anything, I defined my own identity. I choose what I like. I don't let the house, family, or homeland tell me what I like." As for me, I don't expect the future generations to carry on my tastes, culture nor identity. And like her I did the same, I don't listen to any Mexican music, I don't like Mexican spicy food and I am an otaku who embraces and likes the Japanese cultural tastes. And I love who I have become. I do however still keep her vast collection of vinyl and cd records of the greatest Rock artists of her generation that she loved and enjoyed. Not because she asked me to, but because she told me that with each day they increase their value. And none of those records is from a Latino. You wanna cry, be my guest. But stop thinking that everyone who adapts to new cultures is losing something instead of giving away something they didn't like nor asked in the first place. My godfather’s wife was born and raised in France and has no Latin heritage whatsoever, yet she loves Mexican culture more. And unlike some, I don't judge her because of that.
As a Mexican I don't understand this, i have always lived in Mexico and if they offered me a scholarship and a being able to win more money is totally worth it for me. If she was so into "heritage" and her roots why did she even moved to the US in the first place
It’s also like with traditions, nostalgia and technology; we’re a completely different society than we were 20 years ago. There’s almost a disappointment when past pleasures are replaced with new because it feels like rejection.
idk, i used to think that i remember watching this movie and thinking it but not so much anymore. now i feel like culture is more often than not an antiquated barrier preventing people from evolving and society from integrating/advancing as a result. i think being in touch and aware of/ educated about our respective cultures is great but we shouldnt prioritize its preservation over everything else. that being said here at her age yeah i completely understand why her mom feels this way
@@alalal123421 I agree that culture (especially those mostly revolving around religion or superstition) can at times hinder progress. However the inclusion of diversity over integration challenges us to learn beyond our own knowledge and teaches us tolerance. If we learn to avoid othering those unlike ourselves, we can also hopefully learn to never dehumanize each other.
This is definitely a favorite movie of mine from Adam Sandler. Paz Vega was awesome in this film.
I remember this came out when I was in college. As a child to Middle Eastern immigrants, this movie had a profound effect on me and I will never forget this scene.
I just feel it in side effects from her
That "not space between us" with that bad accent but powerful determination is one of the best lines I've ever seen in my life.
Flor smothered her daughter. I'm not okay with that.
Flor set up her bounderies since the beginning and Deborah kept unrespecting her decissions. She was the mother and Flor made her point.
People in the comments say Flor was over reacting taking Cristina out of the private school, BUT LEAVING HER IN THE PRIVATE SCHOOL STILL GAVE DEBORAH ACCESS TO CRISTINA. Deborah tried treating Cristina like her own daughter while ignoring her own. My mom had to separate me from the mother of one of my friends who tried to do this when I was in second grade. She didn't take me out of school, but I wasn't allowed to go to that friend's house because her mom tried keeping me for a whole week, dropping me off and picking me up from school and going to her house, before my mom had to finally threaten to call someone about it if she didn't let my mom leave with me. All I mostly remember from that was sitting on the family couch while this woman yelled at her daughter for something then come out to the living room and asked what I wanted for dinner. My mom extended the stranger danger talk to include my friends' parents so I wouldn't get into that woman's car ever again.
Do you know what she sounds like her mom bought believe it was put me in her crying voice it's looks like
But leaving with a friend's parents is not stranger danger! Close friends can be family too! I don't believe that blood is thicker than water. Anytime anyone says THAT, I gag. My mother is not a bad person but she is a prude, like Flor was. I'm glad she came to this country years before I was born so she could assimilate! But she's still a fuddy-duddy in some ways. I don't like that. She's not a bad person but that doesn't alter the fact that she and I are enmeshed. It stifled me then and it still does; that's why I moved out (in addition to because of my worsening disability)!
The un-politically correct, taboo subject- stolen children and Munchausen syndrome by proxy (ie. maternal child abuse to get attention) are predominately a female traits and offenses. They don't make sense to the "normal", but it doesn't make them less real. Each gender has its own, unique things to be wary off. We've progressed far beyond our animal cousins, but there is still some primitive behaviors we exhibit.
To me, this is a powerful moment when the mom does one last ditch attempt of preventing her daughter from losing her origins. As a mexican, I can relate to the duo as my parents fought and sacrificed many things so me and my sister would grow up with the same principles as them and giving us things that we take for granted. The mom in this movie sees how society is negatively affecting her daughter and feels as if she's losing her to a woman who ignores her own. I feel that this is very relatable scenario where numerous immigrants travel to The United States in order to give their children a better future, but at the same time, start to regret their decision in due to their children adopting customs and values that go against their own. For the people who don't understand the message of the movie, you should really pay attention to the interactions between the characters...
I am three quarters Mexican and a quarter Anglo, I do forget who I am mostly.
@@Fromanotherearth do you know what I was in 1986 I just was baby that time
That's why I hate the movie. It makes it sound like assimilation is bad. There's nothing wrong with assimilation! America is a MELTING POT!
Cool. Go back.
@@anarchistador7785that’s all you got? Never mind I can see the small works of yours
This forever wil be my favorite movie scen of all time. I come back to it whenever I miss my Mother and all the life she gave me, as a child I grew uop similar to this girl in the film. A lot of what happened in the film has happened to me
That's my mom right there. My mom was always there to snatch me up soon as I forgot who I and where I come from.
Flor was 😢😭 overprotective 😢😭 and stifling 😢😭 In fact, I moved out of my mother's house precisely because she tried to force culture on me. Just because I have Hispanic heritage doesn't mean I have to love it. I don't like working class values. Not one little bit!!!! The reason I didn't move out the moment I came of age was because of my disabilities. And I wasn't going to move to a group home. As soon as I found out about retirement communities that take disabled people under 62, I started getting ready to move out of my mother's house. I didn't know about retirement communities that take people under 62 until 15 years ago; otherwise I would have moved out sooner, and visited my mother every other week.
I will never allow ANYONE to snatch me up, not even my own mother!!! This movie triggered me. I watched it before I knew about the "give me space" scene.
@@LESBIANANDAUTISTICmorals come before lifestyle
@@houseofmatrix6174 I disagree !!!!!! I believe in *nonviolence* and *honesty* but nothing else. Life has too many rules that feel like the emotional equivalent of straitjackets.
I'd rather be an orphan than have an overprotective mother. She's narcissistic anyway.
I think many people have not seen this movie but it is one of my favorites. A great story and Paz Vega is a very good actress as are the child actors in this. Well made.
I like to think soon after, maybe not immediately, John and Flor ended up together
It was deleted ending they where together....
Yes we all like cheesy ending 😂😂😂
i honestly don’t think he liked her for her , bc he couldn’t even communicate with her
Great / powerful scene. I come back to watch it every once in awhile. The space between us.
2:15
Is what you want for yourself...to become someone very different...
*Than me?*
Yes. I didnt like this movie. Hell she got a scholarship and was going to a good school. The white lady savwd her alot of money through that. And ahe just took that away from her daughter all for her damn pride.
@@sammy79722 She was losing her daughter in the process. It wasn’t about pride.
@@sammy79722 You mean the unstable white lady.. The one who ignored her own daughter, and became obsessed with somebody else's kid?
@@sammy79722 It's called dignity-- quality of knowing your self-wort. Or you could call it self-esteem, something that white lady lost and we know where she ended up...
You see, you were expecting a cheesy fairytale ending meanwhile missed the glory of eternal play.
This question, and especially the end of it "than me", together with the gentle theme by the guitar, has never failed giving me goosebump...
It seems like I realize what I really am, though in fact who am I is still a difficult question in this messy world.
For everyone hating flor
Christina had Princeton begging her to apply so she clearly got by great without that private school AND she grew up to be humble and loyal to her background
Is it virtuous to be loyal to one's background?
Simon Pope yes that could be.
@@quadeong7453 Either it is or it isn't, surely?
Simon Pope how often are things ever that simple? It depends on person to person, what you choose to do, what you choose to remember.
@@quadeong7453 quite often eg it's considered virtuous to serve one's country. Why and how does it depend on the person? Virtues don't depend on the person. but the behaviour showing high moral standards. Morals don't depend on the person. Not sure memory is a matter of choice either, at least certainly not always.
I don't understand how the school would make her so different from her mother though. Maybe the movie could've showed more of how the school was corrupting her? I didn't see Christina be anything but humble, kind and hard working
But at the same time she was starting to ignore her own mother and look more towards John's wife. I personally think it should be a balance.
0:44 I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOU!!!
¡¡¡NUNCA TE PERDONARÉ!!! ¡¡¡NUNCA!!!
I fervently agree with Cristina!
that is so me and my mom
You can never unsee this scene after you first view it...
No no you can not do that to me I am really 38th anniversary celebration party years ago today I am really 38 years old guy you can not have me feel like I was in movie part in contact with her attention voice in side effects from her
I wonder if Deborah ever went looking for Christina?
How did Bernie & Deborah relationship end up?
Did they stay married?
They stayed together....happily ever after.
She shouldn't have had to look for her. Bernice was her daughter, not Cristina. Instead of wanting her daughter to be like her(Cristina) she should've just accepted for who she is. How would she like it if Bernice wished Flor was her mother instead of her? Knowing Deborah, she'd go wild with grief.
I liked this film very complex and I thought the meaning of it was to appreciate what you have and the sacrifices of those who did so for you in the name of love in spite of the hardships they faced they strived to give us the next generation something of depth and truth to behold that can't be bought so easily only with blood and sacrifice and for love we have all the good things we know and the air we breath b/c somebody laid it down for us and we can always appreciate what was given for us to have.
Guys dont forget also that adam sandler wanted to be with her when she was only working with them wich it was going to complicate the whole situation , so everything was a no no
I mean his wife cheated on him, so he could have straight up divorced her, so not really complicated
My mom and I got into a fight recently. She did all the yelling while I stayed silent. And I told her I need some space then she sends me this. I’m soo confused. - I’m confused she did the yelling, I’m pulling away, she’s trying to stop that, but she isn’t realizing the problem is her.
You should give her some love if you feel stronger. Parents get worn out too....
@@andriyshapovalov8886 things have been a little better since. I know i can be mean so I try to be nicer
@@veneziasteph5898 I lost my my mother about 20 years ago. Still miss her much. Was anoyed when talked to her on the fone the last time, because she worried about me and all the small things. And three weeks later she was gone. Then I realized how much love she was giving to me and how little I was giving back... I think mother's are the most missed, not even as much as spouse or children.
@Venezia Steph
Exactly!!! Enmeshed mothers are annoying.
To this day I still remember discussing this film in Spanish class, about the need to retain culture. One question popped up about why Flor took English lessons. My theory was that Flor initially thought it would help her but that eventually realized that by doing so, she was becoming too attached to the family, also becoming someone who she’s not. I had a classmate argue against that: that she took English to protect her Hispanic identity (that didn’t make sense but whatever).
I think at the end of the day, Flor decided that this family posed a danger in terms of identity, that by showering Cristina with attention they’d eventually make her turn against her own mother. So she made the hard decision to sever all links between them. She still kept her rusty English but not at the cost of who she is.
False! it benefited her by learning English because she will have less of a hard time communicating in America. Since she’s going to live in America it will make her life easier understanding and communicating without a translator all the time.
@einsteinboricua
That's why I hate the movie! The actors are excellent but I don't like the message.
I wish they all could’ve came to respect certain boundaries and still let her go to the private school
Your right but that lady wasn’t going respect Flor
So...I'm the only one acknowledging that the ending had everything to do with saving her daughter from being influenced by Deborah? It had nothing to do with Trading Mexican culture with American, but everything to do with not wanting her daughter to be raised by a mother who is completely, unstable emotionally and mentally?
This is something I feel very strongly about.... I understand Flor moved to America for a better life but she needs to accept that whatever country you live in, your son/daughter will grow up and and be involved and engrossed in THAT culture whether you like it or not. If Flor preferred her daughter to be more "mexican", instead of American (or any other culture for that matter) they shouldn't have left Mexico and should raise her in Mexico instead.
he vuelto a esta película para hacer mi tesis sobre las relaciones entre hijos con sus madres, esta última escena, desprende de mi memoria. La relación es complicada pero jamás rechazada, sí, soy hija de mi madre puede ser con el terror de encontrarnos en sus comportamientos que nos quejamos y, sí, soy hija de mi madre, porque soy quien soy por ella. Tratar de interiorizarlo, al menos en mí situación y mis casos de estudio, me ha dado muestra de cuán universal son estos encuentros y desencuentros que podemos tener con las madres. Cada vez que veo esta escena no dejo de pensar en Flor desde mi propia madre: mamá no quiero ser diferente a ti, si siempre fui feliz al saber que tuve a quien salir.
Mancha la pertútara chicóndra la partietra gogarle.
0:14🤣
Great stuff 👍🏾
Balled out in tears of laughter when I saw this scene.
Her mom couldn't afford it
She's also forgetting who she is and where she's from. She was forgetting her Mexican roots and her working-class values.
Blanca Quinonez - She had a full scholarship. Her mom was selfish, not wanting her daughter to be different (better) than her. Parenting fail.
@@n.turner853 Christina didn't earn that scholarship. Deborah got it for her. Also she was becoming spoiled and forgetting who her mother was. She thanked Deborah for the scholarship and completely forgot about all the years of sacrifice her mother put in to raise her into a good person. Also, being more educated doesn't make someone better than someone else. Without humility that education is worthless.
Some people don't have values and moral, money is not everything.
You may not realize but you are right : Her mother could not afford to loose her to materialism and perverted understanding of freedom.
0:40 IT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT!!!
What the name of movie ?
Spanglish
Leah: Christina, you okay?
Christina: DON’T TOUCH ME!!
Leah: Calm down, girl!
Christina: NO!!!
I hated this girl 😂. Her mother did the right thing. It’s ok to go into that environment when she won’t be persuaded to leave her identity. At this age, she’s vulnerable to peer pressure.
I hate the mother and empathize with the girl!
What I took from this is them needing to leave because of the affair Flor had, and I'm trying to give Flor the botd thinking maybe she pulled her away from the private school so she'd have less chances of running into the family again which would make things more complicated?
I see it as she left because she seen her daughter and life becoming something it shouldn’t, her daughter was forgetting who she was
If Flor wanted to she could’ve been selfish and stuck around and could’ve had some easy money while having an affair. Obviously Flor came to her senses.😉
Affair? Where did you get affair? The husband hates his wife as terrible as she is flor and the husband Wouldn’t have crossed that line. As we saw his crappy wife sure did. I really hope they got a divorce. But no I disagree flor had to make a hard choice for her daughters sake. It’s not that the opportunities wouldnt have made a big change in her life. They need to come the right way. That whole situation was just a little too much for flor to let happen.
Christina upset cause she want able to stay with Claskey family and private school but flor won’t let her stay with them
No shit sherlock
The mom is wrong about there being no space between them. The daughter needs to have an identity that is individuated from her mother. Culture doesn't exempt people from resenting having their choices taken away.
Christina didn't work for those opportunities. She was being spoiled by someone who wasn't her mother. She was forgetting her roots and her working-clas values. She was also forgetting who raised her and who worked to provide for her before they met the Claskys. She thanked Deborah for the backpack and the necklace but forgot about the sacrifices her mother made for her.
And she does that's why she didn't say 'I am my mother'
She has her own identity with core values that she learned from her mother.
@starlashining THANK YOU! Possessive mothers are so embarrassing and annoying.
@@jesusarellanoperez3197 I hate working-class values. That's why I hate this movie! Because it's about working-class values. 👎
00:17 WTF IS JUST A SCHOOL
Hello it’s cuz she had a scholarship that’s why she was so pissed
She had friends there and had a scolership
WTF ITSA SCHOLARSHIP AND SCHOOL SHES FAMILIAR WITH WITH HER FRIENDS
you must be 7 or something
It's a prestigious school and FREE for her
I love this movie
We Latins are not hard-wired for college or university like Asians or Jews are. It's in the blood. We don't like to be tied up to a desk or a book, we are a mobile, free-caring people who only think of having fun and enjoying life. We are like the modern Mongols. At 17 I made the decision that I was not going to be an engineer or a doctor. The thought of me wasting 8 or 10 years in medical school and then being a slave to my profession was not very palatable. I decided to be a construction worker and have fun and freedom in my life. I'm making more than $65 an hour as a contractor, I make more than $150,000 a year, I love this life. I can take off for vacation whenever I want, up to 2 or 3 months at a time. I always wanted a big family so I have 5 kids. We latins love our families big, I wanted 7 kids but my wife stopped me cold at #5. We love sports and music, not books and college. This is the reason why Latin kids drop out at high school and don't bother with university. It just doesn't make sense, we only live to the age of 70 or 80, our bodies are broken by age 65, I want to have fun and enjoy life.
okay, and......? you do you
Bro what are you talking about
I am my mother’s daughter ❤️
00:15...00:56 hahahaha
I hate that kind of message! I understand Christina is still a kid and Deborah tried to send her to another school without consulting her, but did she have to send her a message to be make her believe she will be conceited? if she can, she can get her homeschooling or something
I read a lot of comments from Mexicans here who are defending the mother’s character saying values, knowing your roots come first and not money or materialism.....okay so then why do you all jump over the border yo get to this country? Stay in Mexico and live simply there and be happy.
Now why don't you look down
To where your feet is planted
That u.s. soil that makes you take shit for granted
If not for santa ana, just to let you know
That where your feet are planted would be México
Correcto!
ppl shouldnt have to sacrifice their culture and values for better opportunities and/or safety
@@valerievalencia2487 that is up to individuals, NOT for a society of a particular culture to decide for them. If she doesn’t want to be like her mom that is her choice. Culture is just manmade rules by society to make people conform to socially approves norms. In some societies women HAVE to behave and dress a certain way, be submissive because that is their culture and you will say those women should follow it? No culture is above the desires of what a person’s heart wants and they can live anyway they are happy to do so. This was more about the mother’s insecurities than what’s best for the girl.
I think Flor was being overdramatic throughout the whole movie. Sure she can go work somewhere else since she wasn’t getting along with Deb, but she didn’t need to take her daughter out of private school.
Put yourself in her shoes. She didnt want her daughter to forget her roots
Lol she can’t afford it.
@@truevergil6983 and that too 😂😂
True Vergil Scholarship
G.S 18 she can still go to the school and not forget her roots her mom can remind her everyday
Oh that kido, she just like tha rich people life
I guess
What's wrong with rich people??? 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Not all rich people are stuck-up!!!
She should have kept her in the school. I get what they she was going for but still a dumb thing to do. It’s like me pulling my daughter out of private school and putting her into a city public school because she acting white and not from the streets
To become someone very different than me?..... a single mom who can't maintain a job, doesn't know the language of the country she is in, just got romantically involved with a married man and forced her daughter to quit a private school. The real question would be, why the hell would you want your daughter to end up like you?
I'm Mexican and come from a working-class family, and I say this movie is a load of crap. I love how stupid parents complain about the space between them and their children right after they ruined their kid's lives (You know who taught me that lesson? My mom, she put a lot of space between her and my uncle and between her and my grandfather who keep ruining her life.)
You don’t understand the message
You clearly didn't understand the movie cuz you didn't get the message and it's in the words
You both clearly didn't understand my message. So I'll ask again: why the hell would she want her daughter to be like her? (Ignoring the question isn't gonna make it disappear hahahahaha 😂)
_"Real fathers want their sons to be me more than they are. Not carbon copies."_ - Julia McNamara, NipTuck S1E4
I feel like if my family moved to another country and worked for a wealthy family who put me through private school and I earned a scholarship my parents would say f"$& everything your staying in that school. You can assimilate to where you move to (which I beg the question isn't that the point of moving countries) and keep your working class values and cultural heritage. It's what I don t like about this movie. To many contradictions. There was a way to keep with the claskys and still raise Christina to respect her heritage and values. Yes spoili g children to much is very bad but come on
the socodo-coco sanchay movie.
"You ruined my life , I got a scholarship NOOOOO!
Socodo-coco sanchay , socodo-coco sanchay!
Socodo-coco, socodo-coco ,socodo-coco sanchay! " Everybody cry-sing
"Socodo-coco sanchay ,socodo-coco sanchay ,
socodo-coco socodo-coco socodo-coco sanchay!!!!"
grrrrr this makes me angry
This is a bad message. When you're handed great opportunities, you shouldn't take them so that you remember where you're from?
StikWitClassics that is not the message. It is why someone chooses the opportunities given to them that is important. Not, whether or not they decide to partake in them.
But she never said the reason she wanted to be in that school was to be like the Clasky's. It was a good opportunity.
The message goes so much deeper than opportunities presented to you. The opportunity Cristina was offered and wanted was at the risk/expectation that she would assimilate completely to white American culture, thereby leaving behind the culture and teachings of her mother -- and therefore leaving her mother behind or "upgrading" to the Clasky's way of life.
That's evident when she says, "I need space," and her mother says, "There is no space between us." It's true. When my mom and I saw the movie, my mom, an immigrant, turned to me and said, "That's how it should be." If you have a different opinion that's fine -- but please be aware that the differences in opinion could stem with how different cultures view parent/child relationships. In Latino culture, the generations stick pretty close together, with some families having all generations living under one roof.
Alexia Fernandez that is true because at one point it was 9 people, 4 generations, living all together in my house. When she argued with her mother it reminded me of an argument I had with my mother in regards to my education. Both my parents and grandparents were poor with little to their name. Now that I'm older I appreciate the sacrifices they made just so we can have the best in our life. As an adult I understand why the mother did what she did. This scene is all about perspective but you can't really understand it unless you had similar experiences and somewhat of the same culture.
You clearly missed the message of the whole movie...damn.
troste 😭😭😭
Final sem sentido , uma bosta
Poor girl that woman she has as a mother is so annoying and conformist
Mom… BAD ACTING! The kid saved the scene.