Girl Chat: If You Propose and She Says No, Is the Relationship Over?

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  • Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
  • Our girls get REAL about proposals, pressure, and their own relationship histories. Share your story with us below!
    Turning down a marriage proposal • Turning Down an Engage...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,4 тис.

  • @mysteriousfreak1998
    @mysteriousfreak1998 5 років тому +2166

    Public engagements are the worst, in my opinion. More pressure to say yes even if you want to say no.

    • @nobutaaaaaaaaa
      @nobutaaaaaaaaa 5 років тому +109

      It also feels manipulative. I told my boyfriend to not do this or get friends/family involved. I don’t like feeling pressured to say yes. It should be my decision because it’s my life

    • @larrymoonlight2786
      @larrymoonlight2786 4 роки тому +3

      @Thelondonbadger nice

    • @eveevolution1607
      @eveevolution1607 4 роки тому +8

      Mysterious Freak I always thought about that O would say yes so the person wouldn’t be embarrassed and break it in private. I couldn’t imagine saying no where there are 100,000 ppl. Even if I didn’t want to marry them I still wouldn’t want to embrasses them

    • @K.aylarenae
      @K.aylarenae 4 роки тому +3

      Mysterious Freak
      Depends on the person
      U shouldn’t feel pressured to say yes no matter wut the setting anyway, especially strangers

    • @yippehanako
      @yippehanako 4 роки тому +12

      @Thelondonbadger how is a private proposal manipulative to him?

  • @blackbutterfly233ify
    @blackbutterfly233ify 5 років тому +2110

    1) it depends on the kind of relationship you're in
    2) how long you've been together
    3) how many times she said no

    • @myhextixmind8632
      @myhextixmind8632 5 років тому +67

      yes, all that plus why s/he said "no".

    • @thrive2inspire854
      @thrive2inspire854 5 років тому +15

      Yes, especially #3.

    • @aleeyamarasmart5206
      @aleeyamarasmart5206 5 років тому +13

      Well my mom said no to my fathet 2 times and the third she said yes

    • @mucheducation6074
      @mucheducation6074 5 років тому +8

      And if she wants to marry

    • @AnaCyrus99
      @AnaCyrus99 5 років тому +10

      and it depends if they talked about it. Like, people are not prepared to marry at the same time, and some people don't want to marry so it depends if they talked about that or not

  • @JennHayden
    @JennHayden 5 років тому +3217

    adrienne is speaking for all the low self-esteem women out there. people pleasing and saying yes when you want to say no because you are too afraid to be alone.

    • @amisa.k5993
      @amisa.k5993 5 років тому +10

      Hahahaha

    • @joycekimuhu8426
      @joycekimuhu8426 5 років тому +16

      U've said it better, this is very true

    • @rosaazul88
      @rosaazul88 5 років тому +31

      Exactly! Like oh but it's ok when men NEVER propose? If the woman is ok with it let it be same for a woman

    • @jasminevaliente96
      @jasminevaliente96 5 років тому +44

      Exactly and am I bugging or do I recall Adrienne saying yes to someone and staying engaged forever and not getting married to them? Lol isnt that more wasting someones time than just saying no I'm not ready

    • @TheCutiepie2004
      @TheCutiepie2004 5 років тому +3

      @@jasminevaliente96 Lenny S.

  • @lynn.d1015
    @lynn.d1015 5 років тому +2962

    It doesn’t have to be over . My husband proposed 3 times before I said yes . And we have been married 33 years.

    • @charlielily-wangjames3327
      @charlielily-wangjames3327 5 років тому +96

      Lynn .D congratulations 🍾🎊🎉🎈It’s soooo beautiful

    • @mewtwomotherfuka
      @mewtwomotherfuka 5 років тому +453

      Well you were this close to losing a great guy.

    • @AaliyaahKetler
      @AaliyaahKetler 5 років тому +454

      Lynn .D idk why you would be proud of letting your man propose to you three times before accepting.

    • @youngfunny1824
      @youngfunny1824 5 років тому +490

      Wow, he must've loved you more than himself. I would've bounced after the second time.

    • @joshuawatson575
      @joshuawatson575 5 років тому +170

      He is a damn fool. After the first rejection he should have left.

  • @mrsb0215
    @mrsb0215 5 років тому +2323

    Great question. I think it depends on their relationship.

    • @azadikurdi1059
      @azadikurdi1059 5 років тому +4

      You mean answer.

    • @mrsb0215
      @mrsb0215 5 років тому +7

      Azadi Kurdi I meant great question. I had a typo that I will fix. Thanks

    • @gamalsankara1388
      @gamalsankara1388 5 років тому

      Yeah for sure its over.

    • @barbararichardson2747
      @barbararichardson2747 5 років тому +5

      @@gamalsankara1388 Should depend on length of the relationship and if there are issues.Better to say no and work on fixing problem before.

    • @samiekallen4442
      @samiekallen4442 5 років тому

      MrsB WHO DAD IS THAT

  • @nikkimirhosseyni9535
    @nikkimirhosseyni9535 5 років тому +1731

    I want to marry my current boyfriend, but if he proposed tomorrow, I'd say no! I want to be stable in life before I get married and I do not want to have a 3 year engagement.

    • @sexyhomeowner9345
      @sexyhomeowner9345 5 років тому +80

      If he's only your 'current' boyfriend then it is probably wise he doesn't propose. :p

    • @crystaledson
      @crystaledson 5 років тому +25

      I know right
      but i was at this theological private college ( eveangelical church connected)
      they asked me if i was dating any1 < so i said yes and then they asked me if i was gonna get married to this person < so i said yes ( ME AND MY BOYFRIEND DISCUSSED THIS TOPIC) < we will marry 100%
      but < the time + we must still get financially stable
      so they said to me = Money should not stand in loves way ?
      so i thought - who are you to tell me how my relationship with him suppose to be : just caz you know his your soul mate and and r still planning on marrying but not yet , caz we're suppose to be stable 1st < to live together
      PLANNING IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO i feel .
      it's not like yur wasting time - you know he's/she's the one and then you plan and then you get stable and then you marry
      i feel like churches "some" push ppl in getting married
      marriage is a big thing too
      everything has to feel right - then you can
      but waiting for right timing < is not wrong or sinning

    • @prncessbaby16
      @prncessbaby16 5 років тому +41

      @@crystaledson what do y'all consider financially stable? I feel like there's never gonna be a "perfect" time to get married. If I hate waited until I was financially stable, I may not have been married until I was like 40 or something who knows. Marriage is for growing together. I agree that it's up to you to decide when it's right for y'all,but if you wait until everything is perfect, I'll just tell you now that life will never be perfect.

    • @nikkimirhosseyni9535
      @nikkimirhosseyni9535 5 років тому +53

      Cheyenne Michelle-Rena I mean for us we want to be finished with our education and have jobs that enable us to afford a place to live. Right now he is getting ready to graduate from university, I'm about to go into my second degree which I will graduate from in June 2020, and neither of us has a permanent job. We feel 2021 will probably be our year to get engaged, 2022 married. I just don't want to be financially dependent on him and doesn't want to be fully dependent on me.

    • @ticklezx
      @ticklezx 5 років тому +11

      Smart thinking!! Me and my boyfriend have the same outlook.

  • @chanellebooysen9570
    @chanellebooysen9570 5 років тому +274

    The married man spoke so well. I don't know why but I'm so proud of him

  • @Dekthagr8
    @Dekthagr8 5 років тому +1146

    I think it depends on your age. At 32 I don’t need to date you for 5+ years years to find out your not the one. Time is soo precious in your 30’s and I know what I want. I’ve established boundaries, reflected, mediated and worked on me. My sister dated a man for 8+ years, 26-34 and when she turned 30 started asking for more. He was uncomfortable and they broke up. When your young you have time, but when your older you need to be selective and work on you in order to know what you will accept or not.

    • @monicafabiola785
      @monicafabiola785 5 років тому +22

      Agree

    • @massymarole529
      @massymarole529 5 років тому +19

      Absolutely! I think we're always clear on what we want.

    • @lauramillanes5178
      @lauramillanes5178 5 років тому +5

      Dekthagr8 I agree.

    • @SoulinTheBowl
      @SoulinTheBowl 5 років тому +42

      Agree 1000%! At 27 I know what I want and I don’t need 5 years to get to know a guy.

    • @suziethebride2018
      @suziethebride2018 5 років тому +17

      I so love you right now, in my 30s, and I am glad I never got married earlier..

  • @oremfrien
    @oremfrien 4 роки тому +227

    If I propose to a woman and she says, “No”; I’m leaving. If she says, “Not Yet”, and gives a realistic timeline, I’ll reassess.

    • @anabel5205
      @anabel5205 2 роки тому +10

      That’s the keyword, “not yet”. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and there’s not a single doubt that this is the guy I want to enjoy the rest of my life with but there’s also no doubt that I’m not ready for engagement let along marriage and neither is he and that gives me peace in a way because neither of us feel pressured.

  • @MajesticMyronn
    @MajesticMyronn 5 років тому +716

    Girl Chats like these where it's just literally listening and understand each point of view and actually asking questions instead of just saying what you need to say is something that I love and honestly is very unique about this show in general apart from other ones !

    • @trichardson6824
      @trichardson6824 5 років тому +2

      Friend do you have a notification of when girl chats are uploaded because I always see you saying something on every vid

    • @MajesticMyronn
      @MajesticMyronn 5 років тому +4

      T Richardson yes 😂

    • @rosevelezschaffry
      @rosevelezschaffry 5 років тому +1

      Myronn Coleman me too girl 😂

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому +1

      Agreed 💯👏🏽

    • @ybur6760
      @ybur6760 5 років тому +3

      Yeah, unlike the View. They argue too much there and some women don’t like hearing the opinion of others.

  • @moira4784
    @moira4784 5 років тому +255

    I feel like if he proposes it means he is ready for a next chapter. And if you say no that means you ain't ready. So he gets to decide whether he wants to stick through or call it quits. My thoughts.

    • @sonatashinome4672
      @sonatashinome4672 5 років тому +23

      That’s why you need to have the talk and be sincere. You need to be able to let each other know how you really feel and plan it all out with a positive compromise.
      That way you can both be in the same page. When the next chapter comes you both will just get on with it naturally.

  • @KemiAdorin
    @KemiAdorin 5 років тому +1772

    fire the person who did lonnie's makeup, this episode.

    • @americausa5448
      @americausa5448 5 років тому +44

      Kemi Adorin' I was thinking the same thing 😱

    • @foreverscottierenee.7459
      @foreverscottierenee.7459 5 років тому +68

      I was looking to see if I was the only one who noticed.

    • @alurgickxx2xxluv
      @alurgickxx2xxluv 5 років тому +104

      It's her under eye highlight smh wrong shade

    • @karatsierra9427
      @karatsierra9427 5 років тому +22

      Its def the highlight

    • @AH-os9dy
      @AH-os9dy 5 років тому +38

      Kemi Adorin' I came to say the same thing! Girl they made her look ghostly 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @sabrinasiggers1602
    @sabrinasiggers1602 5 років тому +108

    My father asked my mother twice. She wasn't ready the first time. They had just graduated HS the first time he asked (they started dating the end of their sophomore year). He waited a few more years before he proposed again and she of course said yes. They got married in 1987 when I was 2 (I am 35 now) and are still together. Although my father was salty when she said no, he said it was okay because he had already decided that she was worth waiting for. He knew when they met that he was going to marry her. That to me is an excellent love story.

  • @Picmehappy
    @Picmehappy 5 років тому +398

    This is an old episode. They didn’t have that fenty beauty shade range. 😬🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @dainonmcduffie4396
    @dainonmcduffie4396 5 років тому +432

    Loni’s makeup artist forgot to brush off her baking powder under her eyes. 😅

    • @quishajerry9093
      @quishajerry9093 5 років тому

      Really you'll with Loni's 💄 haha

    • @victoriadavis4608
      @victoriadavis4608 4 роки тому +6

      I thought it was just me, I’m glad someone else noticed it

    • @Kuhle980
      @Kuhle980 4 роки тому +4

      I feel like she didn't see it like the lighting they were under kind of deceived the make up artist. Because the closer you get to Loni's face you can barely see it

  • @TB-bv1vr
    @TB-bv1vr 5 років тому +1273

    Are we not gonna talk about how Loni’s makeup artist needs to be fired?

    • @jordanharrington1890
      @jordanharrington1890 5 років тому +23

      T Burke It’s just a little too much highlight( I think it’s called ) on her face lol

    • @phyllis9853
      @phyllis9853 5 років тому +67

      @@jordanharrington1890 I think it's setting powder

    • @corinnedominique7824
      @corinnedominique7824 5 років тому +64

      Exactly. I was looking for this comment. Her undereyes are still baking. Look white like flour. Nope...looks bad

    • @oki2660
      @oki2660 5 років тому +7

      Omg always they use wrong powder weekly it seems

    • @LyricREACTS
      @LyricREACTS 5 років тому +6

      rightttt, they're bogus.

  • @Dekthagr8
    @Dekthagr8 5 років тому +406

    Wow!! 15 whole minutes 😱. There is a Santa! Lol.

    • @drtash21
      @drtash21 5 років тому +25

      Well in that case Santa might need to consider retirement cause he's 2 years too late!!

    • @Dekthagr8
      @Dekthagr8 5 років тому +12

      drtash21 lol. Baby steps.

    • @MostHighDwelling
      @MostHighDwelling 5 років тому +2

      No, there isn’t.

    • @aleeshaali3650
      @aleeshaali3650 4 роки тому

      Lol bless you😂

  • @monapizzalover7140
    @monapizzalover7140 5 років тому +631

    2017😱?? Why are all the episodes old😭😭😭 I love you guys though. But we need the new ones

    • @killerrobots9
      @killerrobots9 5 років тому +32

      But It’s a “talk show” not a “daily show”. This conversation is pertinent even if it’s from 2 years ago.

    • @monikaranee
      @monikaranee 5 років тому +17

      I noticed that, this is old.

    • @rtmusicvideos431
      @rtmusicvideos431 5 років тому +22

      I wonder how Jeanie would feel about the proposal now that she's divorced her ex-husband. Hopefully now she sees that she was pressured into marrying him because he proposed to her in front of all her family, because it seems likely that's what happened. That's kind of a manipulative thing for a guy to do because it almost forces her to say yes.

    • @quingelobrunken7168
      @quingelobrunken7168 5 років тому +4

      @@rtmusicvideos431 I agree!👏

    • @QueenWithBrains
      @QueenWithBrains 5 років тому +2

      Mona Pizzalover every now and again they’ll go in the archives and post a long girl chat clip from a couple years ago

  • @valencias.9777
    @valencias.9777 5 років тому +280

    Loni it's time for a new make up artist. They've had you out here looking crazy more then once.

    • @MsVeeTheVisionary
      @MsVeeTheVisionary 5 років тому +7

      Yesss. I noticed this several times

    • @mixeduh
      @mixeduh 3 роки тому +2

      @@MsVeeTheVisionary Full on beard. Love her, but full on beard. :(

    • @mixeduh
      @mixeduh 3 роки тому +1

      Look at Adrianne's makeup too! They made her look so old here. :( Adrianne is a summer, she doesn't need piles of makeup on.

  • @jayjanzee9059
    @jayjanzee9059 3 роки тому +5

    Thank you Adrienne for interpreting that man's "whatever it was." He was talking in circles so hard. Annoying.😒😒😒 Glad Tamera called him out

  • @lilyzemengist8091
    @lilyzemengist8091 5 років тому +545

    There should a discussion about marriage before the surprise proposal period.
    I don't believe in this fairytale crap. Grown women talk about the important stuff before they consent to or accept anything a man gives them period.

    • @milirodriguez8493
      @milirodriguez8493 5 років тому +11

      That is completely true.Even on a first date.Maybe not go into complete detail but do mention what you look in a partner(wait until you get married to have a passion connection,marriage,kids,etc) because at the end of the day,you can completely love eachother but at the end of the day,you guys might want something else and wont realize until mid into the relationship.

    • @lilyzemengist8091
      @lilyzemengist8091 5 років тому +12

      @Anne Day
      Exactly, you worded that perfectly!
      It's not fair to any good relationship to throw up marriage in the air and hope it lands in a safe place. Marriage is a delicate flower that needs to be handled with the up most care, seriousness, and consideration while watering it along the way to forever.

    • @marykariuki7381
      @marykariuki7381 5 років тому +8

      True! I do not believe in a surprise proposal, lets talk about our relationship goals. Do not surprise me with a marriage proposal, I would hate it!

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому

      Exactly 😂😂💯💯

    • @JB-ws4dc
      @JB-ws4dc 4 роки тому +2

      PERIOD!!!!! (I know this is old, lol) If my boyfriend proposed to me, then we already had this conversation over and over again about when we’ll both be ready to do it and where we would want to be in life when it happens.

  • @ydaphuck__youlyin6978
    @ydaphuck__youlyin6978 5 років тому +438

    Ok now Who did Loni’s undereyes??? Lol

    • @shay-c3671
      @shay-c3671 5 років тому +7

      I saw that too😥😂😂😂

    • @briannahunter5688
      @briannahunter5688 5 років тому +14

      Not even trynna be rude but . . . . . 😂🤭They should really delete this

    • @lashawnmurden3047
      @lashawnmurden3047 5 років тому +6

      Dtflll I was looking at that omgg

    • @faridasaleh7934
      @faridasaleh7934 5 років тому +12

      For real they still letting her bake till this day

    • @lashoybruce8646
      @lashoybruce8646 5 років тому +14

      Her co hosts could have told a sis something tho

  • @Kay-zl3qx
    @Kay-zl3qx 5 років тому +360

    Damn I’m here for these long segments! 🤗

    • @kathope4484
      @kathope4484 5 років тому +6

      It's only long because it's old

  • @cwchris_
    @cwchris_ 5 років тому +23

    It’s sad hearing Jeannie say these things, when we know now the truth. She said she realized one year in that they weren’t right for each other.

  • @monicamycbm
    @monicamycbm 5 років тому +48

    It kills me to hear Jeanie talk about Freddie😭😭😭

  • @bookbag6432
    @bookbag6432 5 років тому +143

    Jeannie knew within the first 6 months her marriage was not gonna last.

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому +5

      Good point

  • @eileenwelter90
    @eileenwelter90 5 років тому +223

    I think there is something about purposeful dating. Dating to just date is maybe a few dates. Courting however is with knowing you have marriage as the goal.

    • @phyllis9853
      @phyllis9853 5 років тому +11

      I agree. I think you hit a certain age where you date to marry. Like 23 and up...

    • @Flustered_Potato
      @Flustered_Potato 5 років тому +2

      Yup yup.

    • @sheilahutchinson6161
      @sheilahutchinson6161 5 років тому +5

      Teach lady so women can know the difference!

    • @aleksandrifyful
      @aleksandrifyful 5 років тому +5

      Why can’t the purpose of dating just be to be in a relationship? Why does it always have to lead to marriage? I mean, how much can you truly know about someone after a few dates to want to pursue marriage? And why does marriage ALWAYS have to be the end goal? Why do people always think that a relationship is a failure or unfulfilling if you don’t get married?

    • @scrapbookdreamer1055
      @scrapbookdreamer1055 5 років тому +15

      hannahbannana well if you don’t want to get married right now, don’t date people who do

  • @huda9445
    @huda9445 5 років тому +86

    What if the man is not ready and the girl is pressuring him, because I hear a lot that if a girl is not ready he should give her time and stuff like that , but if a man is not ready he immediately is a “ player “ or immature.
    I know this is not for everybody and every relationship is different but I was just giving an example.

    • @CrystalReneeMusic
      @CrystalReneeMusic 4 роки тому +10

      Regardless of the gender, if 1 person is not ready just end the relationship period. No one should be forced to marry and no one should feel strung along. The 2 obviously are not on the same page. End the relationship, go your seperate ways.

    • @TheWilliamsrandell
      @TheWilliamsrandell 4 роки тому +7

      I call it a double standard and I don't know where it comes from

    • @Brynn332
      @Brynn332 4 роки тому +2

      If it's under three years its pressuring if it's over three years and he cant commit hes the problem.

  • @Jihye10
    @Jihye10 5 років тому +55

    I respect Tamara's way of finding love. She found someone who waited for her (sexually as well) and what they have know is amazing. I wish there were more guys like that out there

  • @piselasjournal
    @piselasjournal 5 років тому +506

    Tamera is always georgeous... skin glowww

    • @shay-c3671
      @shay-c3671 5 років тому +4

      Skin, hair, body glow...

  • @SD-hs2pk
    @SD-hs2pk 5 років тому +52

    Engagement is preparing wedding and putting things together for marriage. The relationship is where you continually see if you fit.

    • @Anigel22
      @Anigel22 5 років тому +2

      sd v - Thank you !!

  • @berniceanne
    @berniceanne 5 років тому +38

    That man is so sweet! And it's interesting to see how different their answers were!

  • @SweetGlitter1309
    @SweetGlitter1309 4 роки тому +24

    My mom said no the first time my dad proposed. She just wasn’t ready. She eventually said yes and they will be married 30 years in July!

  • @raiethefantibae
    @raiethefantibae 5 років тому +61

    Am i the only one who feels like asking someone to marry you is just as big a deal, scary, daunting etc as saying yes?

  • @thatlittlehuman9238
    @thatlittlehuman9238 5 років тому +5

    Adrienne brings up a good point about saying yes because you invested so much time. I did that, but I knew it wasn’t right for me. Thought it was cold feet but I KNEW. Divorced now and couple years later I am now taking my time.

  • @lifewithcaroline8196
    @lifewithcaroline8196 5 років тому +4

    Adrienne used to be so broken inside. Am happy she has found the man who loves her for real and THAT has restored her self esteem back.

  • @dionnejackson7697
    @dionnejackson7697 5 років тому +22

    It depends on the reason. When my husband first proposed, I said no because I knew it wasn't time. We kept dating and maturing and when he asked the second time, I said yes.

  • @raquel4ashley
    @raquel4ashley 5 років тому +244

    Sometimes i think Adrianna is still hurting

    • @jackieagard537
      @jackieagard537 5 років тому +26

      Over Rob, she so sorry she missed out on being a Kardashians .

    • @britbritnicole
      @britbritnicole 5 років тому +36

      Support the Obvious yeah I think she probably feels like I should’ve left a long time ago

    • @raquel4ashley
      @raquel4ashley 5 років тому +9

      @@britbritnicole
      I totally agree

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому +5

      BritBrit Nicole agreed

    • @user-si6gs3ne8l
      @user-si6gs3ne8l 5 років тому +16

      She probably is you don't just get over stuff it takes time. She definetly seems like she's in a better place tho

  • @karlenedavies6655
    @karlenedavies6655 5 років тому +5

    I love how honest these ladies are! they are the epitome of real!
    They opening up like this is going to help a lot of younger women who is yet to go through these things.

  • @Koalatronic
    @Koalatronic 5 років тому +2

    If one proposes and the other says no then its over. Not because of the no as such, but because it highlights you are in different places and are unable to know and read each others wants and needs.

  • @ezekielsprophecy3203
    @ezekielsprophecy3203 5 років тому +7

    I remember reading in a psychology book that it takes 3-4 years to get to know somebody. So getting engaged before then is self sabotage. Like Tamera said, there is an infatuation stage and that definitely doesn’t mean that you know them just because you’re on top of each other 24/7 😹

  • @MiVidaBellisima
    @MiVidaBellisima 5 років тому +118

    If she says no it's probably your fault. This isnt the 50s. You have the marriage conversation BEFORE you propose so you already know she's ready for that step.
    If you surprise her with that question (never had that convo) then you leave the possibility that you might just be surprised by the answer! Don't assume that just bc you're ready that she is too!

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому +5

      Exactly 💯💯👏🏽👏🏽

    • @mofexp3cialgirl779
      @mofexp3cialgirl779 5 років тому +6

      Why doesn't the woman tell the man off hand that she's not ready for marriage?...shm😒

    • @vsboardza
      @vsboardza 5 років тому +2

      👏👏👏

    • @CS-sv8fg
      @CS-sv8fg 4 роки тому +3

      but if she is ready but he isn't, its still his fault right?

    • @SupaSnupak00pa
      @SupaSnupak00pa 4 роки тому +6

      Funny how her not being ready is his fault. Why does he have to take responsibility for her not making conscious moves toward the next step? If you are saying that she is saying no because she doesn't see him as marriage material or doesn't see the potential, then she has to make that apparent or end the relationship. As the old sayings go, 1) a closed mouth does not get fed. 2) the squeaky wheel gets the oil. This is exactly why people look for closure in the end. Their ex never communicated what they needed and had the unreasonable expectation for them to just figure it out.

  • @breadbutter4221
    @breadbutter4221 5 років тому +369

    Five years is a long time to be dating before getting married. How much are you going to know about a man or woman in 5 years that you couldn't learn in 1 year or 2 years? I'm sure Tamera learned more about Adam when she started living with him as husband and wife, when they became parents etc. There's so much that you can learn before marriage but after marriage there's so much more that 5 years still wouldn't have prepared you for.

    • @jasminevaliente96
      @jasminevaliente96 5 років тому +103

      A LOT. Life can be going swell for a year TRUST and believe my husband was making triple the money he makes now that first year we dated, his family was all in good health, he was in good health, his career seemed secure as he had been there for over a few years, we didnt live together so he could run and clean everything before I came over, he had a new car so always reliable transportation...... girl by year 3 that company he worked with got bought out and they fired all their employees, he lost his place and had to move in with his mom, a few months later his mom developed a health issue that made work hard for her so he ran out of savings trying to provide for her, his car note became too much he had to give it shot his credit, he had no reliable transportation so seeing me was hard to do unless I did all the driving which hurt his pride. I got to see the real man he was when his life got hard and he still made me a priority, busted his ass and ego at low income jobs while he searched for a higher paid one so he could take care of his mother and take me out even when he didnt have to, see that throughout all of that stress he NEVER snapped on me or his loved ones remained positive despite having to get up everyday to catch a bus or carpool to all these odd jobs until he could buy a unreliable car that took hella patience to deal with. Long story short while I lucked out and found a man who remained in good character even through hard times which taught me he was the one. I could have easily married him when he proposed at 9 months only to discover a man who pushed me away because I had more, gave up trying to progress, lived off his momma for free despite her struggling, cheated on me because his ego was hurt he lost everything, used me and got comfortable. YOU CAN LEARN ALOT MORE IN 5 YEARS than 1 and that's a psychological fact.

    • @Jay-jb2vr
      @Jay-jb2vr 5 років тому +44

      Because you need to *know* that person thoroughly before you make that decision to be with them forever. Marriage is not something you rush into

    • @Dekthagr8
      @Dekthagr8 5 років тому +29

      Jasmine Valiente but did you honestly need the adversity to show you his true character and that he was the one? I could be misinterpreting so correct me if I’m wrong, but did the adversity confirm what you already knew to be true? Couldn’t this have occurred at any point in your relationship or even 6 years after you married?

    • @leroymckenziejr.jnfenterpr567
      @leroymckenziejr.jnfenterpr567 5 років тому +3

      Well said!!!

    • @breadbutter4221
      @breadbutter4221 5 років тому +4

      @@Dekthagr8 exactly.

  • @Jadedyxy
    @Jadedyxy 5 років тому +38

    Marriage is hard period, I don't care how long you are dating or engaged because God will surprise you with his testings. It takes a lot of sacrifices to make a marriage work.

  • @andriamorgan586
    @andriamorgan586 5 років тому +3

    This hit home for me. I married for the wrong reasons and I was so young. I found myself in my marriage and found out we weren't right or each other years later. We are both divorced and found happiness. This is a must watch for all women.

  • @tonia2483
    @tonia2483 5 років тому +101

    My stepdad asks my mom EVERYDAY to marry him and she says no lol. They've been together for over 20years.

    • @reemzilla
      @reemzilla 5 років тому +13

      How is he your step dad then

    • @malisykes7357
      @malisykes7357 5 років тому +14

      Reem because she stepped up to the role as her father

    • @tonia2483
      @tonia2483 5 років тому +13

      Reem you do realize people dont need to get married to have children right, that goes for taking over the role as well.

    • @reemzilla
      @reemzilla 5 років тому +12

      Tonia's Reviews I know that. I thought that you had to marry tho to claim “step-parent”

    • @katwolf897
      @katwolf897 5 років тому +10

      @@reemzilla to legally be the step parent you do have to marry, but to use the title? Nah. If a man has been with the woman long enough and involved with her kids, and they plan to stay together without marrying, for all intents and purposes, he is the stepdad

  • @oppsendless3814
    @oppsendless3814 5 років тому +4

    My boyfriend and I were together over 10 years when he proposed; we started dating when I was 17. I said no because I was not ready to give 💯 of me to him due to some prior hurts that he put me through...yes even after 10 years...but I wanted him to know that I still love him and will continue to commit to working on our issues together. I also made it clear that I do not expect him to wait. But to him, he would have waited forever. Just being together was enough. It took a few more years but we got there. I got there. We got married when we were both financially and emotionally ready. We are celebrating 20 years in May. We are at peace and in the best place ever.

  • @britbritnicole
    @britbritnicole 5 років тому +7

    This was one of my favorite girl chats. When I get engaged I want to be 100% sure he’s the one for me and him too.

  • @carissamarella9614
    @carissamarella9614 4 роки тому +10

    "Sometimes, people say "yes" for the wrong reason"

  • @KaysieDaniels
    @KaysieDaniels 5 років тому +5

    My dad proposed after a year and a half and at 2 years, my mom said no. She waited until around 3 years of dating to be engaged since he was in Florida for school for 9 months of their relationship. She wanted to make sure she knew him!

  • @CC-si3cr
    @CC-si3cr 4 роки тому +3

    I LOVE IT when Adrienne pokes Loni in the arm or grabs her arm then hugs her. ❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕 Then Loni laughs. It's so sweet and loving. It shows how real their friendship really is on and off the show. 🤗

  • @Shady.K1lls
    @Shady.K1lls 4 роки тому +19

    2:46 lol that girl in the back made her man put his hand up 😂

  • @cristinasolano6487
    @cristinasolano6487 5 років тому +14

    Just talk about it with your partner. Make sure both are in the same page. Communication is key!

  • @michaelbenjudah3010
    @michaelbenjudah3010 5 років тому +2

    Adrian is right! Women usually never give men good advice but she kept it real on this. If you're with a woman and you propose and she says no that means she doesn't love you as much as you think. Don't even waste your time. Contrary to popular belief most men want to get married but they end up getting involved with women who don't really care about them. Get out while you can so you can move on to someone who actually wants to get married.

  • @sonatashinome4672
    @sonatashinome4672 5 років тому +6

    From all this information not just the video but the comment section..a lot of people aren’t ready.
    Why are you in a relationship if you’re still trying to fix yourself or be at a comfortable place where you’re happy with yourself? Please ask that.
    Go into a relationship/courtship and for a couple of years get engaged a year later if not less get married.
    MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE TALK AND BE SINCERE.
    *Communication is key.*

  • @dainaclbks8411
    @dainaclbks8411 5 років тому +41

    I really wonder what Jeannie was thinking in this segment... 😬

  • @JennHayden
    @JennHayden 5 років тому +217

    jeannie without her hair pieces 😂😂😂😂 i love it

    • @jens8223
      @jens8223 5 років тому +2

      U do? Lmao

    • @kathope4484
      @kathope4484 5 років тому +1

      It's an old video

    • @jens8223
      @jens8223 5 років тому +5

      @@kathope4484 it is an old video but she does have short hair and wears extensions

  • @vianneynay
    @vianneynay 5 років тому +8

    I wish they talked about stuff like this still. The topics they now talk about have changed slightly more and more.

  • @Candaicelovesjesus
    @Candaicelovesjesus 5 років тому +63

    Who keeps messing up loni makeup?!?

    • @workingonmyself
      @workingonmyself 5 років тому +1

      HeyFatty ok. I thought I was being over critical.

  • @androssteague
    @androssteague 4 роки тому +1

    Not now is a TBD answer. No means No. If you been dating for 3-5 years and she flat out says no... It's a wrap. I agree with Adrienne.

  • @AmberRandallArt
    @AmberRandallArt 5 років тому +109

    My man proposed because I’m pregnant. I told him no, let’s have this baby and get back to ourselves and make sure our relationship is healthy first. We’re still together soooo..

    • @debbiedebz7297
      @debbiedebz7297 5 років тому +8

      That's the stupidest thing I have heard in a while u already having a bby why not get married ...he can always leave u cuz he doesn't owe u anything but with a marriage its different

    • @DiorMiss16
      @DiorMiss16 5 років тому +34

      Debbie debz they have a kid together! marriage doesn’t solve everything and it’s not necessary if it’s not going to be healthy

    • @Sumi2379
      @Sumi2379 5 років тому +9

      Debbie debz no it’s not tf? Maybe she wants to make sure he’s not marrying her just bc they’re having a baby & that can over hype the excitement of everything. Or maybe she’s not ready yet. Nothing wrong with having a baby before marriage btw everyone has different beliefs, chill out 🙄

    • @debbiedebz7297
      @debbiedebz7297 5 років тому +12

      @@Sumi2379 not ready for marriage but your ready for a bby... I was raised differently can't have a bby out of wedlock and whether he marrying her just cuz she is pregnant she should be glad cuz a lot of men wouldn't do it ....they would just have you as a next baby mama at least he wants to man up and make it official but I guess y'all love playing baby mama roles

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому +1

      Interesting.

  • @jonatadelicia4916
    @jonatadelicia4916 5 років тому +131

    Tam: What’s a black book?😂😂
    The table: Unun Tam💀💀💀

  • @shaynanichelle8621
    @shaynanichelle8621 5 років тому +74

    I’m with Tam, I want to really get to know the man I’m going to marry, so I’d like to date them for 2-3 years before I even think about marriage.

    • @eunicewilliams3
      @eunicewilliams3 4 роки тому +1

      Get to no the person before y marry them.whats done in the dark is always brought to the light

  • @harmoniaaydeegonzalez7020
    @harmoniaaydeegonzalez7020 5 років тому +109

    I am with Adrian! Unless there is a very compelling reason for the "no".. then we are done. You're wasting my time because an engagement doesnt mean marriage is imminent. An engagement means there's a definite intention to be married. If you say no, depending on the reason.. then you're telling me that you don't intend on being married ever. So.. goodbye.

  • @ricoetbello
    @ricoetbello 5 років тому +14

    I feel like it depends how long you've been together or even how old you are.
    Most people should talk about these things as a couple. If you don't wanna marry him, let him be

  • @Munsjvc2
    @Munsjvc2 5 років тому +4

    No and not right now are two different things. I said no at first, but eventually I was ready and we have been married almost 12 years now.

  • @abagfullofcats4247
    @abagfullofcats4247 5 років тому +6

    I said yes to a man who was everything I *should* want, but I knew deep down I wasn't ready for marriage and I may never be because I had (and still do) work in myself to do.
    Sadly, telling him this hurt him. To this day I feel guilt for ever having let that relationship go on for as long as I did. It was unfair to him.

    • @barbararichardson2747
      @barbararichardson2747 5 років тому +3

      Applaud your honesty and sure he does to.Few of us take responsibility and admit we need to work on ourselves first.The rest spend the rest of their lives blaming the other person .

    • @MsCristina38
      @MsCristina38 5 років тому +2

      You did him a favour. He deserves a woman that’s fully in love with him which he probably has found by now. You did yourself a favour and him a favour. Please don’t feel guilty.

    • @abagfullofcats4247
      @abagfullofcats4247 5 років тому +2

      @@MsCristina38 I don't keep tabs on the few Ex boyfriends I have, but I do know he married someone he loves and he's happy. My regret is that I wasn't able to articulate myself in that pivotal moment. I had undiagnosed BPD and managing emotions was hard for me. The way I ended the relationship probably felt sudden and hurtful to him after several years of waiting for me.

    • @MsCristina38
      @MsCristina38 5 років тому +2

      @@abagfullofcats4247 I totally get you. But people are resilient and he proved that by falling madly in love with the woman he married, you've become just a pleasant memory to him. It's not like you scarred him for life and he never fell in love again. He fell out of love you a long time ago so please don't beat yourself up plus you already have enough on your plate to manage with your mental health. It's very difficult having BPD but people who have it recover from it and go on to lead fulfilling lives, it's not a death sentence and you sound like a very brave person who is going to win at life.

  • @nungacynderilla5095
    @nungacynderilla5095 5 років тому +12

    Yes I’ve said yes to an engagement that I knew deep down my heart it was never gonna lead any where.... I totally understand Adrienne..

  • @yummynutellacupcake
    @yummynutellacupcake 4 роки тому +13

    everyone talkin bout Loni's highlight and ignoring how bad Jeannie's lashes look 💀

  • @katelynbrown98
    @katelynbrown98 5 років тому

    Wow!! This conversation taught so much!! Ya'll are so gracious and authentic. It's best to be 100% sure than rocky and have to divorce. Even calling off an engagement is better than divorce. Do what you know is right and NEVER silence your intuition. That voice is ALWAYS right.

  • @Sahrah3201
    @Sahrah3201 5 років тому +9

    I love loni and Adrienne's relationship they're the cutest ♥️

  • @Fridarida
    @Fridarida 4 роки тому +3

    anybody else rewatch old girl chats and pretend you never seen them before lol

  • @Parisroam
    @Parisroam 5 років тому +41

    It depends on the relationship and the reason why she said no. It could be the wrong time, not that she's wasting time. Maybe there are some things she needs to finnish before becoming a unit. But again, it depends, maybe she isnt trying to marry tgus specific dude, which is why communication is so important.

  • @nancygonzales4800
    @nancygonzales4800 5 років тому +1

    I agree... I was in a really long committed relationship and he wanted to get engaged but it didn’t seem right so I ended up leaving before things got messy but I was checked out from the relationship for a long time. So I give girls props who leave or speak up when things are not right, don’t settle until you are truly ready.

  • @vintagemeetsmymojo
    @vintagemeetsmymojo 5 років тому +8

    My mom told my dad no 3 times, abd they've been married for 31 years. It depends on the relationship.

  • @itselena9307
    @itselena9307 5 років тому +2

    Sometimes people just aren’t ready. The relationship isn’t over if you both have that understanding that you should wait it all depends on the relationship.

  • @jayko4732
    @jayko4732 5 років тому +45

    I love the real so much! It’s literally relatable ❤️😍

  • @ashleyanglemyer-anderson2304
    @ashleyanglemyer-anderson2304 5 років тому +2

    I needed this advice from you ladies, i respect you're advice so much so that i come to your show almost every time...because i dont have friends of my own that i can have these chats with...thank you for going out on a limb once again to tell your stories ladies...from the bottom of my heart thank you because i know what to do

  • @geee5296
    @geee5296 5 років тому +29

    Hmmm tbh if he proposes and she says no, I’m assuming they didn’t really took the time to talk about getting married and their future life together. To me when a man proposes, he has to make sure he’s really ready, but also has to be sure about the answer.

  • @Colombianminx
    @Colombianminx 4 роки тому +1

    Omg yes!!! I’ve been engaged many times and each time I’ve backed out. My gut said each man was cheating and each time I was right. Trust your gut and never give into pressure to say yes. Your intuition will always tell you if it’s right.

  • @Valeoroxco
    @Valeoroxco 4 роки тому +3

    This is so important! I love the honest opinions!! Keep it real💖 it helps so much

  • @rosamondacheampong2753
    @rosamondacheampong2753 5 років тому +24

    Loni!Loni!Loni! How may times did I call you??? Go and dust that baking powder off your face and come back 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

    • @shalomikemba
      @shalomikemba 5 років тому

      You're Nigerian or Ghanaian aren't you? 🤣

    • @deborahnguvan8591
      @deborahnguvan8591 4 роки тому

      @@shalomikemba 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @adjokisser2926
      @adjokisser2926 4 роки тому +1

      😂😂😂😂 Yep she's Ghanaian 🤭

  • @khristynelove
    @khristynelove 5 років тому +10

    My husband asked me after 3months of us being together and I said NO. Just because the relationship was still brand new. Now we going on 10yrs and married after five years♡ he said I was worth the wait.

  • @SoAmAzing08
    @SoAmAzing08 5 років тому +3

    Adrienne is speaking my life 🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @harriswanga1112
    @harriswanga1112 5 років тому +3

    You could tell jeanie's marriage was over before it begun by the way she always talked about it 💔

  • @kimwright6377
    @kimwright6377 5 років тому +3

    This is what men and women need to understand.Who you are and what you think you know changes.When you’re twenty five what you think you know will change at thirty and when 40 comes so on and so on.Its growth and you never stop growing.So don’t always be so sure that you know it all and that’s the way it’s gonna be.And then life happens nothing is set in stone.My point is people get married to there ideas and don’t except change and they can just stay stuck on an ideal that just may not be for them and it’s okay to do something else.

  • @lindachinirlovesuga.3663
    @lindachinirlovesuga.3663 5 років тому +8

    We should never say yes even though it's going to break the relationship if we don't feel right

  • @ShaydahandSaharavlogs
    @ShaydahandSaharavlogs 5 років тому +10

    It depends on how formal the proposal is. But if I was the guy, I have to say I would be pretty crushed.

  • @CristyyyLovee
    @CristyyyLovee 5 років тому +5

    Thank you for this! I am currently engaged. I am so happy and I can feel it in my heart. I can't wait!

  • @elsilinwood1902
    @elsilinwood1902 5 років тому +2

    I think that a proposal should be intimate. Doing a proposal public is putting on pressure. No one makes a right decision under pressure.

    • @Tan87ful
      @Tan87ful 5 років тому +1

      Agreed 💯💯💯💯

  • @jgreening6164
    @jgreening6164 5 років тому +48

    Loni Needs a new MUA they make her look to ghost like

  • @glowbyive4722
    @glowbyive4722 5 років тому +1

    I said "Yes" when I was proposed in two long term relationships. So I sympathize to Adrienne cause I spent over 4 years with each person, and felt I was supposed to say "Yes". Thank God I called both quits and never got married😁🙌🙏

  • @evelynoshae7781
    @evelynoshae7781 5 років тому +38

    If she said No, the man needs to figure out why she did?

    • @mastermindtv170
      @mastermindtv170 5 років тому +4

      Sal Mah Sal she needs to speak up and say why she said no. Men always have to figure stuff but when it’s the other way around then women want men to communicate.

    • @SupaSnupak00pa
      @SupaSnupak00pa 4 роки тому +2

      Nah, if she says no, then the man needs to up and leave. She sees no future with him and is basically just holding on until something better comes along. There is nothing to figure out, you are not the one. Get the heart break over with and move on. The longer you try to stay in that relationship, the less she is going to respect you. As a man, if you had any self respect you would leave.

  • @RTA6226
    @RTA6226 2 роки тому +1

    I agree with that man. I also agree with Adrienne. ALL women don't want to get married. Usually that should be made clear in the beginning of the relationship. That way no one's time is wasted.

  • @nelobaby1676
    @nelobaby1676 5 років тому +6

    Jeannie you don't need to turn 30 to figure it out. Some people do so in their early 20s . For me depends on the situation and the people involved

  • @theelaveaux
    @theelaveaux 4 роки тому +1

    I felt Adrienne like ugh! I was engaged before because after sooo long together I was proposed to and I said yes knowing it wasn't what I wanted. He was shaking nervous when he kneeled down and his family was there and I didn't wanna hurt him. I also look back and realize like Loni said, he only asked because he didn't wanna lose me. He was leaving for the military and wanted someone familiar to be with him and I could sense that. Now being engaged again yearrrrs later I knew I wanted to get married from the very first date. When you know you know ❤️

  • @taiyonatiare7918
    @taiyonatiare7918 5 років тому +3

    I think it goes both ways. If the guy proposes but the girl says no it depends on the relationship whether they continue or not. But if the girl keeps hinting and being pushy that she wants him to propose when hes not ready then it should be the same.

  • @KimorasMommy
    @KimorasMommy 5 років тому +7

    Yes it’s over, why would you wanna stay in a relationship with that person? If you’re in a longterm relationship the point is to get married. That’s why you get to know people and tell them what you want and don’t want in a relationship.

    • @blackbutterfly233ify
      @blackbutterfly233ify 5 років тому +3

      You're not in a relationship to get married. You need to want more for yourself

    • @shantatv3185
      @shantatv3185 5 років тому +1

      blackbutterfly233ify what’s more? Lol

    • @monay6576
      @monay6576 5 років тому

      Keisha LaShae Not really, I think it depends on the reasoning. Some people may want to get married but aren’t ready at that moment. Or like tamera said it may be way too soon in the relationship. I feel if it’s either of those two reasons and a man knows that’s the woman he wants to marry he would be willing to wait.

  • @vanessabonner2334
    @vanessabonner2334 5 років тому +2

    My friend got proposed to 7 times and said no every time

  • @ndeshipanda_iita
    @ndeshipanda_iita 5 років тому +5

    If a woman asks a man when he intends to pop the question and he says not now or no she stays and waits. Why are we making this a big deal just coz it's her turn to say not now.

    • @mikegatt76
      @mikegatt76 4 роки тому +2

      Because it's the woman's choice if she chooses to stay and wastes her time with someone who isn't ready or willing to commit to her at that level. When a man says no he's not ready to be married then it's almost expected for the woman to end the relationship there. Why? Because time is the most precious item we as humans possess and why waste years of your youth with someone who's not ready. So if a man says no and the women leaves and she's congratulated for it then why should we as men wait until you're ready. If you say no after we've been in a committed relationship for 2-4 years and you're still working on yourself then I'm wishing you the best and moving on.