One Shot SciFi 1715 - Sod it, hire the Terrans | HFY | Humans Are Space Orcs , Earthling mayhem

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  • Опубліковано 19 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 169

  • @GravitWry
    @GravitWry 2 роки тому +399

    The fact that this crew is centred around a harem, the term "first mate" can work both ways.

    • @Amoth_oth_ras_shash
      @Amoth_oth_ras_shash 2 роки тому +25

      true..then agen they seem to also have a distinction between actual ship positions and just...harem influence.. dident they ? ..makes you wonder if its common for ships owned by that species or a rarity that the first mate have the skills to also be first mate hmm...hehe..hypothetical sociology topic i guess is what that fall under.

    • @mechadrake
      @mechadrake 2 роки тому +15

      @@Amoth_oth_ras_shash this brings many concerns to my story with sparow jump pilots. Never thought about the ship culture like that. how woud their nests look like after duty hours...

    • @Amoth_oth_ras_shash
      @Amoth_oth_ras_shash 2 роки тому +7

      ​@@mechadrake might be a interesting aspect of the concept to explore so to speak after all on duty you have to fill a function so any social discord or exhaustion caused mental concerns have to be taken for later or risk a imparement of 'function' or harmony as i think this story used as term at some point and vice verse ..guess it could be called the dual edged nature for a harem thats also officers ,
      or just ignore and leave to readers to fill in the blanks with ther preferences ;) either it was just a lose thought the story sparked , can i find your story on the tube ? love some sweet scifi world and character building that steps outside of the star trek cliche ''here is your alien...human ,thats blue''

    • @WallNutBreaker524
      @WallNutBreaker524 Рік тому

      Hmm...

    • @LewpyDrewpy714
      @LewpyDrewpy714 Рік тому

      Wondering what that depraved poor soul went through, or enjoyed. Leaving the ship, he wasn't dead. Here's your beer bro.
      What happened, what was it like?
      Well, don't like to kiss and tell, but....
      Eons later.... and that's how we have porcupine likins we screwed them out of existence, or into a new one.

  • @toob1979
    @toob1979 2 роки тому +409

    "My crew ain't never tasted Terran before."
    "Ahem, Captain? I believe you mean, 'Terran *cooking.'"*
    "Yeah, that too."

    • @ceu160193
      @ceu160193 2 роки тому +17

      Well, they didn't taste some Terran bodypart yet, yes.

    • @zeehero7280
      @zeehero7280 2 роки тому +7

      Dammit yondu!

    • @LewpyDrewpy714
      @LewpyDrewpy714 Рік тому +3

      "Careful, Captain. If you eat us, we'll want to know how you taste. Terrans eat everything, except other Terrans. For the most part."

  • @Deconstruction_Administrator
    @Deconstruction_Administrator 2 роки тому +253

    I can picture them hiring an Australian and quickly picking up the phrase, "She'll be right."

    • @mechadrake
      @mechadrake 2 роки тому +18

      "That's not a knife!"

    • @theirishviking9278
      @theirishviking9278 2 роки тому +17

      and "Ankle Bitter" "Brekky" "Cactus" and the usually day to day shit we all forget because it just our norm

  • @Exile_Sky
    @Exile_Sky 2 роки тому +290

    .... All I can picture with an American Galley hand is "I got your four major food groups! Bean, bacon, whisky, and lard!" ... I love Cookie, looking out for his crew.

    • @Nyet-Zdyes
      @Nyet-Zdyes 2 роки тому +31

      What?! No CORNBREAD?! You can't have beans without cornbread!
      Out the airlock with you!

    • @scottjefcoats6645
      @scottjefcoats6645 2 роки тому +6

      Jim Varney was in a class all his own.

    • @theirishviking9278
      @theirishviking9278 2 роки тому +3

      halfway through that it morphed into his voice

    • @theirishviking9278
      @theirishviking9278 2 роки тому +1

      @@Nyet-Zdyes not everyone's from the south
      hell part of the south apparently prefers mac and cheese

    • @Nyet-Zdyes
      @Nyet-Zdyes 2 роки тому +1

      @@theirishviking9278 Ah no... you CAN'T have beans without cornbread! It's some kind of blasphemy or something!
      (Not that mac-and-cheese isn't good, too.)
      But... you just got to have something ELSE to go with your "major food group = beans". Lard, whiskey, and even bacon don't really cut it... although LOTS of people add HAM to the beans (yummy!)

  • @tabitharatchford7404
    @tabitharatchford7404 2 роки тому +173

    At first I was thinking‘what’s wrong with American food?’
    Then I looked at my lunch of Cajun turkey wraps with ghost pepper cheese… that makes sense.

  • @richardhowells5804
    @richardhowells5804 2 роки тому +143

    As a Brit I appreciate that joke.

  • @dantreadwell7421
    @dantreadwell7421 2 роки тому +25

    Terrans. Because we are willing to 'bond' with anything. . .

  • @belliott538
    @belliott538 2 роки тому +37

    I recall my first encounter with a Porcupine… it was touch and go…

  • @Messywildcat78
    @Messywildcat78 2 роки тому +194

    As an American, I feel slightly attacked lol

    • @yomogami4561
      @yomogami4561 2 роки тому +37

      i was about to say the same and then thought 'cajun' or 'tex-mex' in a lot of these stories aliens can't handle spicy food

    • @jankostrhun8725
      @jankostrhun8725 2 роки тому +24

      I think aliens find subspecies that still used it's feet and thumbs to measure things too confusing to be worth dealing with.

    • @Southern_Crusader
      @Southern_Crusader 2 роки тому +14

      They can’t handle out soul food!

    • @Joshua-fo9zw
      @Joshua-fo9zw 2 роки тому +15

      @@jankostrhun8725 when I steam rice the ratio of rice to water is based on the length of my middle finger...

    • @Gilhelmi
      @Gilhelmi 2 роки тому +22

      As an American, I laughed.
      I mean, our food is so good that we are all overweight. You sometimes have to downgrade flavor in order to avoid overindulgence. (LOL)

  • @davidhenderson3400
    @davidhenderson3400 Рік тому +8

    Morning mating? Well they do seem to know how to start off the day

  • @terrieterblans7027
    @terrieterblans7027 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you for not using computer generated voice. Thank you for no computer generated stories. Thank you for soul both in reading and stories

  • @MrOlaf1972
    @MrOlaf1972 2 роки тому +18

    The ability to scar up IS pretty metal! Looks like a fun read.

  • @deussalt4479
    @deussalt4479 2 роки тому +106

    Not a "Brit or American" as an American I can safely say. That's probably a wise choice.

    • @spectralassassin6030
      @spectralassassin6030 2 роки тому +6

      As a cajun it's probably for the best. Any food I make would probably burn a hole through any alien's stomach.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому +3

      @@spectralassassin6030 I suspect their problem with Brit and American cooking is the lack of spice... You can never tell, these days, what species might like a curry and which would curl up and die at the first taste of kimchee.

    • @Nyet-Zdyes
      @Nyet-Zdyes 2 роки тому +2

      @@captainmaim Weirdly, IRL, the lack of spice would probably be a very GOOD thing... "bland" being more universally tolerable... with, of course, a wide selection of various spices to be added by the individual diner, of course.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому +2

      @@Nyet-Zdyes Yes, but in space, the antimicrobial effects of strong spice might be a necessity to prevent spoilage, unless your food is mostly live when you eat it like funguses and lichen.

    • @Nyet-Zdyes
      @Nyet-Zdyes 2 роки тому +3

      @@captainmaim Ah... hence the addition of spices as "condiments" to be added...
      Tip of the hat to you, for knowing about those antimicrobial beneficial effects

  • @Heegaherger
    @Heegaherger 2 роки тому +11

    Other than the Capsaicin, I am questioning the please no American thing. The insane numbers of types of cuisine that can be found here. You just need to be sure that they are not a one trick pony and can cover several varieties.

    • @alganhar1
      @alganhar1 Рік тому +2

      Its the same in the UK, it has a broad fusion of cuisines, from many different cultures. Hell, part of the reason the British conquered an Empire was literally to find new spices....

    • @satibel
      @satibel Рік тому +5

      @@alganhar1 ... and proceeded to use none of them :p
      One of my favorite clips is
      - but there's great restaurants in London
      - what food do they serve?
      - french. [Realization followed by laughter]

  • @Z4RD4N34
    @Z4RD4N34 Рік тому +3

    I like the " Porcupine centaurs"

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 2 роки тому +14

    For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

  • @kurenwirsun2478
    @kurenwirsun2478 2 роки тому +19

    I'm going to mention my favorite story that got me into HFY, The Deathworlders. Learned about it on youtube from someone's comment when I was searching for new sci-fi to get into. Anyway enjoyed this video I really like HFY stories

  • @ceu160193
    @ceu160193 2 роки тому +34

    Sounds like they better not hire Terrans, or it will be "0 days without catfight" trip.

    • @wolfgangholystone258
      @wolfgangholystone258 2 роки тому +1

      I could imagine crewmembers placing bets on cat fights like a passtime.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому +1

      had an apartment with friends a few years back... we'd place bets on which of the neighbors would get the last word in their shouted arguments.

  • @RealArcalian
    @RealArcalian 2 роки тому +12

    Greetings, Mentlegent
    For the Rhyhtm that is Algo
    Today seems to be the Thirsty Aliens edition!

  • @thirg424
    @thirg424 2 роки тому +35

    The fishies want to hire a Terran.

  • @markuhler2664
    @markuhler2664 2 роки тому +7

    Best I've listened to for a bit. Another species very well done.

  • @Ifyoucanreadthisgooglebroke
    @Ifyoucanreadthisgooglebroke 2 роки тому +15

    No brits because...well, obviously. No americans because it is too much of a random grab bag for what they might end up with. A little relieved this one didn't play the way overused capsaicin thing and throw in a no spicy food requirement.

  • @maylabrown4584
    @maylabrown4584 2 роки тому +6

    The Whole Harem thing was confusing

    • @sazechs_451
      @sazechs_451 2 роки тому +4

      I think it felt a bit weird, but maybe I'm lacking context

  • @Southern_Crusader
    @Southern_Crusader 2 роки тому +20

    Been a while since I’ve been here.
    Also, God bless America!

  • @victortahlor4038
    @victortahlor4038 Рік тому

    Thank you for the reading

  • @Sorain1
    @Sorain1 Рік тому +5

    I mean, I want to protest it, but from a captains perspective, I totally understand not hiring an American. You can't know what your going to get from us.

  • @lelanderickson1045
    @lelanderickson1045 2 роки тому +4

    ROFLMAO!! Excellent comedic storytelling. Love it. 😎👍

  • @xerothedarkstar
    @xerothedarkstar 2 роки тому +4

    For the fiiiiiiiisssssshhhhh!

  • @KaelDraykose
    @KaelDraykose 2 роки тому +2

    Saw this video after a Film Theory video. Got interested, have a Subscribe, and a Like. Love listening to scifi stories!

    • @AgroSquerril
      @AgroSquerril  2 роки тому

      Thank you for the sub , glad you enjoyed the video

  • @elfeater1760
    @elfeater1760 2 роки тому +11

    For the Algorithm11!

  • @dashinyboi2947
    @dashinyboi2947 2 роки тому +6

    For the algorithm!!

  • @Ryu_D
    @Ryu_D 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for the video.

  • @warlockghovat5745
    @warlockghovat5745 2 роки тому +13

    I wonder if these xenos ever had Thai or Indian food before.

    • @mechadrake
      @mechadrake 2 роки тому

      but they had american stuff and british already it seems

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому +1

      @@mechadrake probably just cheeseburgers...

  • @wrenchpony9735
    @wrenchpony9735 2 роки тому +5

    Not American! Guess aliens can't handle having everything deep fried?

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому +2

      I think you're right, that's the common thread... I was thinking the lack of spice. Imagine if they were forced to attempt kimchee, you'd have unintentional excretions from their eliminatory orifices and excess moisture from their ocular organs! THE SPICE MUST FLOW!

  • @IRMentat
    @IRMentat 2 роки тому +19

    Was doing so well until the end.
    Best specialists vs best generalists.

    • @mechadrake
      @mechadrake 2 роки тому +2

      Space is big and dark, generalists are very good valued characteristics for long haul stuff it seems

  • @ouberfox5898
    @ouberfox5898 2 роки тому +5

    The title was great but the story was meh.
    Great narration as always

  • @seanrobert9661
    @seanrobert9661 2 роки тому +1

    [documented contact]

  • @tudogeo7061
    @tudogeo7061 8 місяців тому

    "After morning mating" 😂

  • @thatguybrody4819
    @thatguybrody4819 2 роки тому +10

    i want to say i'm offended at them not wanting American terrans, but the i remember what we do to cars and machinery out in the country and i don't think they'd like a diesel powered hodgepodge that to be honest shouldn't even run but is stupidly durable yet dangerous doing something they probably shouldn't because it's more efficient and fun.
    at the same time something needs to get fixed they bullshit the solution and it damn well holds until they get their hands on the proper fix. just make sure they have sufficient alcohol.

  • @genericuser984
    @genericuser984 2 роки тому +5

    neat

  • @yomogami4561
    @yomogami4561 Рік тому +1

    for the algorithm!

  • @WiredTurkey316
    @WiredTurkey316 2 роки тому +3

    Okay, I think we can both agree Teriyaki Taco Tuesday was a mistake. Just please let me out of this airlock. No no no no no not like that!

  • @Bluesonofman
    @Bluesonofman Рік тому +1

    I feel like someone read my story and created another in the same universe

  • @klappstock943
    @klappstock943 2 роки тому +1

    For the Algorithm the story and the voice

  • @LegendStormcrow
    @LegendStormcrow 2 роки тому +1

    Not an American galleyhand? Either too spicy from the Southwest or too greasy in general.

  • @Relkond
    @Relkond 2 роки тому +2

    Pro-zay? No idea what those are. Pro-zzz I know.
    XD
    Given the voice, I assume it’s a live reader, but synthetic voices have been getting substantially better of late…

    • @nevermindthegermans6242
      @nevermindthegermans6242 2 роки тому +2

      Yeah, I know, also mishap. He should really run it past a friend before posting.

  • @merlinathrawes746
    @merlinathrawes746 7 місяців тому

    I can understand not wanting a British cook, but not getting an American one?

  • @davidteh3807
    @davidteh3807 2 роки тому +1

    Gang bang …

  • @captainsinclair7954
    @captainsinclair7954 2 роки тому +1

    Oi! Ya better be making up for that quib with more Americans in the maintenance department!

  • @Veltorb
    @Veltorb 2 роки тому +7

    So, I'm first, I guess. Who cares? Nobody 😂

    • @elfeater1760
      @elfeater1760 2 роки тому +6

      Your still Loved by the Algorithm!

    • @Southern_Crusader
      @Southern_Crusader 2 роки тому +5

      We care, congratulations! Here’s a medal!
      🏅

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому

      You win the internet!

  • @Alien361
    @Alien361 Рік тому

    Ah i have a quastion i am searching for the story where a warlord killed a child, was written in his perspective as far as i know.

  • @asandrewsilvaw
    @asandrewsilvaw 2 роки тому

    For the algorithm

  • @cazador7131
    @cazador7131 Рік тому

    Ok British food is terrible but what's your problem with American food? Deep fried butter was just a phase.

  • @AzureKaizen
    @AzureKaizen 2 роки тому +8

    That's too bad because I think more Americans need harems. Oh well. Maybe another species will enlighten the masses here.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому

      I don't think you'd like us if we start cross-pollinating.

    • @AzureKaizen
      @AzureKaizen 2 роки тому +1

      @@captainmaim I'm pretty sure I'd like Americans more as an American myself if guys had anime style harems in every household.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому

      @@AzureKaizen that's an economic problem... Change a few laws about human trafficking, tank Eastern Europe's economy and we can have more leggy 20 year olds than we can handle. Hell, the price of Russians is probably dropping as we speak.

    • @AzureKaizen
      @AzureKaizen 2 роки тому

      @@captainmaim Those 20 year old women in war torn countries deserve men more than the 40 year old fat cat mom CEO's we've got back home though. If we had less simps then I'm sure the USA could handle the influx. And our economy would be better off too lol

    • @Xboxzilla
      @Xboxzilla Рік тому

      @@captainmaim r/Thanks I hate it.

  • @arandomdumbass8542
    @arandomdumbass8542 Рік тому

    do not take a french one either

  • @td6647
    @td6647 7 місяців тому

    Subspecies? I don't think I like that "PRONOUN"!😢waaa 😅

  • @imscary2
    @imscary2 2 роки тому +4

    what is wrong with American cooking? not offended just curious.

    • @maximsavage
      @maximsavage 2 роки тому

      Too much grease, too much corn syrup, too many other additives that are controlled or even downright illegal elsewhere for health reasons, too few consequences for companies that violate what little regulation there is, and so on. Depending on what State we're talking about, some have the same problems as the British, others have found new and interesting ways to ruin the concept of food, such as the unholy "deep fried pound of butter"... In short, American food will either kill you slowly if you're lucky, or quickly if you aren't.

    • @Santisima_Trinidad
      @Santisima_Trinidad 2 роки тому +3

      Couple of things, but mostly it's that American cooking is way too varied with super whacky combinations, and with very poor calorie to nutritient to meal ratios, A ship board diet is usually fairly limited, and very efficient in the calorie to nutrient to meal ratio.
      Why British cooking, which is literally the optimy of shipboard food in that its 90% unprocessed base ingredients and 10% salt, a preservative, is banned is beyond me.

    • @midgetydeath
      @midgetydeath 2 роки тому

      That it makes the rest of the world jealous. As with all things America does, we invoke jealousy or shock.

    • @maximsavage
      @maximsavage 2 роки тому +1

      @@midgetydeath Jealously is rare from other developed countries, since we overtook you guys in most if not all measurable stats of people's wellbeing (look it up). Shock, however, well, I won't deny that one. You do have a lot of children dying to firearms and preventable disease, for a rich nation. That tends to shock a lot of folk. Again, don't take me at my word, I know you won't, just look it up...
      If I have to concede anything you might interpret as a win, it's resentment. A lot of people resent your country for exerting so much influence all over the world, whatever you decide to attribute that influence to, and it would be useless to deny it.

    • @captainmaim
      @captainmaim 2 роки тому

      @@maximsavage also, they're all very impressed with our gigantic American penises.

  • @greyhunter3271
    @greyhunter3271 Рік тому

    Wonder why American and British himans are out lol.

  • @micahdeck9553
    @micahdeck9553 Рік тому

    Brits can’t season, Most Americans I know(Texas part) put the word spicy to shame.

  • @arakheno4051
    @arakheno4051 2 роки тому +2

    F.A.S

  • @norneaernourn8240
    @norneaernourn8240 6 місяців тому

    Not a British or American cook lol.

  • @deathdooddieimmortalbastard

    He he

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 Рік тому

    148th, 8 April 2023

  • @fredrikabinger4818
    @fredrikabinger4818 2 роки тому

    Ok..sooo...woke polyamorous BS, with a sprinkling of Beastyality...Thank you, but no thank you.

    • @Piterdeveirs333
      @Piterdeveirs333 2 роки тому

      What is "woke" about it?

    • @fredrikabinger4818
      @fredrikabinger4818 2 роки тому +1

      @@Piterdeveirs333 The polyamory bit..says so right there..to traditionalists like me, thats a hard no. Question to you: the woke bit was what bothered you?

    • @Piterdeveirs333
      @Piterdeveirs333 2 роки тому

      @@fredrikabinger4818 how is polyamory, which has been a thing a very long time, "woke?"

    • @Nabekukka
      @Nabekukka 2 роки тому +2

      Polyamory and it's usage in a story by itself isn't really deserving to be labeled as woke, the intent of why and how it's implemented that matters. If it's there just for the sake of ticking a box because that box needs to be ticked or the author put it there because of his own ideological purposes, to shove them down others throats, then it's woke, just like anything else. Here, I don't get the sense that it was in any way forced in like that.
      Secondly, beastiality? Nope, missed with that one too, the race depicted in this story are not your garden variety animals or pets, regardless of their apparent bird like features. As soon as humans started wondering about the possibility that life outside Earth might exist and what it would look like, there were people that thought about if it's possible to bang with them and if yes what it would be like. Banging with an alien does not necessarily banging with an animal make.

    • @fredrikabinger4818
      @fredrikabinger4818 2 роки тому

      @@Nabekukka Well..thats your opinion and your entiteled to it of cause. To me, mating outside your genepool with something that looks like a bird or a dog or a lion or whatnot, makes it beastieality. Full stop. Wether it be an alien (there are nordics you can bone, you know, and strike a bit closer to home) or a Terran spiecies.

  • @jimmycoyote74
    @jimmycoyote74 2 роки тому

    For the algorithm