Marriage for women is a business and divorce is a blank cheque and children are bargaining chips to be used for more alimony and mantainence in family court.
Divorce is not the problem, divorce is a solution to the problem. No point being stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage if you have already given it everything to make it work, sometimes getting a divorce will be the right thing to do.
@@russtytan8080 Tons of couples. Or, at least one partner in a marriage. But they are bound by this janmon ka bandhan, jo gala ghunta hi rehta hai till they die.
I would never understand why other people care so much about whos divorcing who like just because you're stuck in an unhappy marriage doesn't mean everyone else want to.
Marraiges are more than that in india , it's a pact between man and woman till the eternity. And a lot of pride is staked on the marraige. Edit : not justifying anything , just providing a background of the importance of maraiges in india.
You are absolutely correct , indian society emphasises too much on the idea of an ideal family . The society expects you to stay in an unhealthy marriage just for the sake of upholding that image
@@Sailed_away so what to if you are in toxic relationship for eg man doing domestic violence with his wife , these quotes are good while being heard real life is unfair and difficult
@sumitghosh2778oh please, our society needs more of this. You won't acknowledge the importance of this unless you see some the horrific situations that couple's find themselves in. You can't live with em but can't even leave them. This my friend is what people refer to as Bhasad.
I think divorce is better than domestic violence and making everyone in the family suffer. Indians feel proud that India has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world but they don't realise that many couples would have actually separated if there were no societal taboos.
The main point is that in India sex education is also not that common so couples have kids without deciding that if they are compatible enough to have 'em and after all these shits the child has to suffer.........and these things are so generalized that nobody talks about this shit
Indians also perform the best and behave the best compared to any other country, one of the primary indicators of that is low divorce trates. So no, lets not act like domestic violence is everywhere and in every family, and divorce ishealthy its not. Divorceis always bad for kids and primary reasons for divorce is lack of interest rather than any reason, adults should not behave that way.
@@rickycool6083 no broo divorce is good when marriage ain't working because I live in a family where my parents are constantly fighting they dont realize that I am watching them I am litrally suffering from trauma so it's actually better if parents get divorced yes that would be painful too but atleast I would not suffer from anziety
If marriage is considered to be a partnership for 7 lifetimes in India, then divorce should be a religiously permitted option for those couples who are currently in their 8th lifetime together.
Namo namo Everyday I'll sit down three times (morning, evening and night) and just whip myself up screeching and raging against anyone who says even one bad word against my PM Modiji. To me, it is imperative to have a guiding role model + respect and support our leaders. PM Modiji is therefore the obvious choice for support and I keep myself well oriented towards the direction of pro Nation, Nation building. There will be no limits to my devotion to PM Modiji. Anyone says one bad word means they are permanently ostracised from my life. Persistent hounding of PM Modiji with useless leftist buzzwords must invite death. One of these days, my devotion will be so resolute I will risk my life, my career, my future and my family's social standing. I will risk it all to bury some fucking liberals alive for their bullshit whinging against PM Modiji. Just the thought of them saying such things fills me up with anger, so much anger I get indigestion. Time to take antacid and view this as a positive development of my loyalty to PM Modiji. Just a warning to any liberals who sees this. You say one word in a bad manner and see what happens...
We are living in a truly f*cked up society. No education and extreme stigma when it comes to divorce, s*x, financial independence, mental health, and addressing abuses. But somehow it's completely normal in our society when married couples have extra marital affairs, shaming single moms/dads, shaming divorced individuals, not giving a child's custody to dad even if mom is mental, women shaming women for even talking about legal separation, dowry, misusing the law, etc. I hope that the future generations evolve in a better way!
@@kritika6675I think it's mostly an Asian problem. Countries in the west are way more open to discussing these things. It's why they have more rights there.
@@justanothermortal1373 Dharm is slowly vanishing from homes and minds of people. INDIA does not have a word for DIVORCE- TALAAK. India was a deeply religious country, joint families was common because religion teaches good values like tolerance, perseverance, share & care for all. Because of those Rights western societies are losing their populations.Individualism is great?(its worse, all live alone, few children born to replace the older generations. Depression and many other diseases are common. Children from divorced parents, broken homes are scarred for life.
I wanted to share my own perspective being the kid(I'm 18 rn) who was stuck in the middle of a divorce that never happened: For background, both my mother and father are from very well to do families and in no way experienced any sort of hardships growing up When I was 10 years old, that was the first time when I experienced my father breaking a glass on my mother's head. That one incident was just the start, he used to come drunk at night around 3 am everyday and used to start banging doors asking for somebody to serve him food. Incidents like these continued till when I was about 14 years old. One day he came up to my mother and started shouting that if you don't sleep with me right now I am going to jump out of the window and commit suicide. I clearly remember, this happened a day before the lockdown when my mom asked my nanu what she should do, and he surprisingly told her to pack all of our stuff and come to his place. for context, mom had told my nanu that she wanted a divorce, long before all of these incidents happened, but her whole family just shamed her and told her to deal with it on her own. Cases were filed, with no outcome, my dad had contacts with politicians and with the help of the very convenient corruption at play in our country, no one ever showed up in the courtroom, the dates kept on extending and the case is still stuck with my dad not paying anything for our education or living. For the first few years life was harsh, nanu rented us a place nearby and we stayed there, but because of the lockdown his business went downhill, company was stuck in a debt trap Now 4 years later, with my college about to start, I have no sort of financial security as to how we would even survive the next few years, and my dad is living a life of luxury without showing a care in the world. edit: The only reason we have managed to survive so far is because of the generous help by very close friends and families, especially my mother's sister, otherwise we would be on the road right now with nowhere to go. My younger brother is turning out to be exactly like mohak said, with anger issues, he can barely study, he has a habit of compulsively lying and stealing things. Update july 6th 2024: -Got into delhi University -Earned my first gig from freelancing -Started a youtube channel to inspire others. Far from where i wish to be. Still struggling mentally. Happy but not satisfied.
It’s a heartbreaking situation. I am sorry that u and ur brother are paying the price for ur parents situation. If u don’t mind me asking- what did u learn from ur parents position?
My chachi is in a loveless marriage since 23 years...and my cousin got divorced after 3 years of marriage , our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years .....I feel so upset about these two woman in my family ....I really have no idea why it's so difficult for the family members to accept them as they are and support them😢
Ask your cousin to remarry everything will fall in place. They simply want people to stay married that's it. Marriage is an assurance that there is someone available for you always.
@@prajakt0789 yes I do understand that and she's looking for a partner too but it's just that the behaviour of family members towards her was just disgusting
"our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years" ...because miserable people love to see others miserable as well.
My mom is a lecturer with a PhD. My dad is an officer in education department. I definitely feel my mom deserves better for not expecting anything from my dad even after 20 years of their marriage and taking great care of his family even when her own mother was on ventilator. She didn't hesitate a bit when she had to change my aunt's diapers who was fighting cancer. She never bought gold for herself or me. We never went on trips like any other family. We were not at all like a family. My father on the other hand wasn't someone we all saw. When my mom was pregnant with my elder brother, she was really depressed because of my father's behaviour. She was writing a death note after seeing which my dad said "if you die after writing 'my' name as the reason for your death, and if I'm put behind the bars, who's gonna take care of my big brother's kids?" My mom literally filed divorce after this but due to pressure from our so called family and society,she had to take it back. Few months ago my parents had a big fight. Now they're not talking to each other. My mom told me to finish my 12th (I'm in 12th now) and live in a hostel for my graduation because she'll be applying for transfer after their divorce next year. She even asked my big brother to stay in hostel (he's in 2nd year mbbs). Holding onto something hurts more than letting it go. Self respect must be the first thing to think about. I love both of my parents, but I respect my mother more than my dad.
@thezoldics7648 mental abuse is definitely worse than the physical one. Both of my parents aren't clearly happy. They're not even a newly married couple, they've been married for 20 years. As the youngest in my family, I definitely don't want my parents to be like this. Their peace and my mother's self respect are more important to me than anything else. She tolerated him for 20 years, I definitely don't want her to suffer anymore. Thank you for replying though 🙏
My father's family was also very abusive to my mother. They told my mom, "You don't need to do any work, you will live like my daughter" but after marriage they said, "You must do all the work, our daughter won't because she is educated and beautiful unlike you". I suffered from depression due to their toxic behaviour, They forced me to study whole day and banned me from stepping outside the room and play with my friends. Without physical activities, I got depressed due to lack of healthy chemicals in brain which is released during playing or exercising. I sent this message in another thread.
I think a child with divorcee parents has less depression than a child with married parents who fights every single day but not ready to give each other peace by seperating ... saying this from experience
@@kunalbhat591 bro .. I dont need to search statistics about a life that I have lived ... I just shared my opinion .. and 140 people agreed .. I am not presenting my opinion as a fact unlike you .. I have zero interest in educating people like you about real life experiences over statistics data .. your way of replying just makes it clear you are on a journey to correct everybody .. and you might be used to have forced arguements with a lot of people .. well best of luck with that champ .. 👍
Being an only daughter of divorced parents I totally agree with Mohak... I am an adult now but still suffering from insecurity, fear of relationships, childhood trauma etc because of my parent's divorce. My father was very abusive and my maa raised me by herself only. It is the child who suffers the most mentally for whole life💔 but atleast I am happy that now me and maa are happy and at a peaceful environment.
Something that already happened is irreversible. But what you can do for your better future is heal from those insecurities , fear of relationships , specifically from your childhood traumas . Only after healing , start dating . Its better to be late in marrying the right one than to marry early with the wrong one . More love & strength to you.❤
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries. We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@thewalker338 What is wrong with you man.lossing verginity does not means she is not good person. It depends on someone personal choice .why are you taking only about girls ? Whay about boys ? Are all of them vergin before marrige ?
I’m going through a divorce myself right now. Filing next month. It’s all so relatable. My mother is trying desperately to keep me in the unhappy marriage. I feel so cornered and isolated. Thank you for discussing the issue.
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r I dunno man, i don't want my sister to be trapped in an abusive and love-less marriage. I care more about my love ones than what society and abhay kumar says
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r Avarage Indian men ☕ ,, put all blame on women, it's not a new thing ,and it's not like we care about you all anymore..... ....Keep shouting
Only 4percent conviction rate in 498a cases... Supreme Court and many high courts held that 498a became legal terrorism... Since there is no punishment for false complaints to women, many women baselessly complaint on husband and inlaws to satisfy ego...
I was in an unhappy marriage for 14 years. Got divorced some 5 years back, got two wonderful kids with me. I was just a housewife while I was married. After my divorced got a job and started studying. Completed my LLB topped university and pursing LLM. After all this I still have a cordial relationship with my ex and in laws. The reason I want to share this is because if you decide to go for divorce to change your life then it will definitely change your life. I never thought I will be able to achieve this much respect in my career. Right now I give free legal advice to people going for divorce.
Question mark on husband's future ..as he has not been allowed kids with him. Who wil take care of him in his old age? What solution did the court gave for this problem?
@@rahuljagarwal153 I don't know why courts are so much biased towards women what about man is he not human women gets support from society and relatives but no one supports men and he suffers from loneliness get's mentally and financially broken why children were not allowed to stay with their father as they equally deserve to stay and love their childrens without husband how wife can procreate children women and man are equally designed by nature to procreate new offsprings
@@gzzhytihubgithabibhub this is western leftich ideology which is based on upabhog & destroys family structure. Old age homes r increasing, parents r sent to old age homes only after the son gets married & not before that. SO we know who is problematic. But still we haven't seen courts taking interest in this & in welfare & care of old aged parents. Now if laws r made to protect old aged parents then this wil help create joint family structure. But the forces which control leftich ideology want more nuclear families ..hence men r targets. So Family destruction is a key to it. Dekh ke to aisa hi lagta hai.
my parents got divorced when i was 5 years old. living through the experience, i am glad that they did. it is so much better than to have an unhappy home where they are always shouting and fighting.
Cool but in that case you live with someone else like any relative or someone, and that person is abuse you mentally and physically. The same word you can use that time.
People have to understand that everytime relationship cannot work. So it's better to be separate than to be in an unwanted relationship which may be the reason for further problems like affairs or abuse in future. Which can cause the wrong impact on the children (if they have).
Bro it's actually very simple , hear me out why relationships doesn't work. 1.There is no physical attraction to make the relationship going. There might be exceptions where this is not needed but the truth is it matters. Otherwise why would people want to good look. 2. The man or women abuses their partner because they think they are better than them and can order them around. This happened in the previous generations and before. 3. Genuinely there is no emotional contribution from either party causing the relationship to break. As long as you are attractive and emotionally sane may be financially independent and get a decent partner , I can't see why the relationship wouldn't work.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries. We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@msbrave4107 log to fir ek dusre se man bhar gya isliye bhi divorce le lenge. fights can still be solved. divorce leke bacho ki zindagi kyu kharab karni hai?
I don't give a f**k about what anybody says..but I really want my parents to get a divorce. Their toxic behaviour towards one another had a great impact on me and my sister and now we both fear marriages.
Yup bro . Only solution you have in this situation is to get financially independent as soon as possible . And ya I agree with you that we should not blame a divorced person . In fact we should treat him as a normal person .
I’m a divorcee myself. Walked out of my physical, mental and emotionally abusive - arranged marriage - within 5 months. I hold multiple professional degrees - Chartered Accountant, Company Secretary and Masters in Commerce. I’m proud of being brave enough to be able to walk out. My family was always supportive. But our society is a pain, undoubtedly.
Lawyers and judges are used to milking divorces. They are not adjusting towards increasing throughput and sales. They are just milking legacy customers. The divorce lawyer industry is not willing to scale up and expand their market even if the demand is obviously there, thanks to thoughtless arranged marriages by hyper enthusiastic peer pressured Indian parents haunted by "char log kya kahenge".
10:10 These very similar things happened to my uncle. He is still fighting the case in the court, and due to that he can't even find a job and have to survive on the bare minimum. Thanks to Mohak for bringing this issue which not only affects women but men too. We need to normalize divorce in abusive relationships.
yeah as much as i support women in domestic violence, i support men in domestic violence too. actually a little bit more, because seriously men might be very few in victim category. but its still way harder for them to come out. but hopefully with Johnny Depp case, men can get more freedom in expression.
@@divyanshsingh1078.....why men are less victims????why you people always support women???in every hardships there are men who support????? When you get accident on the road and you will lying there like a snake...you gf will not come to save you...there will be MEN❤
my story we were frnds for 5yrs, live in for 1 yr. got married, stayed together for 2yr. then now separated , she stays in her hometown doing business, i stay near my company away 3days train journey. now no phones , no talk . i only talk to her in dreams . what is abusive , what is western culture..
Doesn't matter, what matters is money. If your spouse is a high earner then divorce is of no use. Money matters, not emotions or so called social rights.
@@pranaya2800 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
We're human we do make mistakes, I don't know why people don't understand it. In my friend neighbors house there was a girl who run away at the day of her marriage because she don't wanted to get married with that guy. The exact reasons behind her decision remain unknown to me. However, since that incident, no man has ever chosen to marry her. She has faced constant rejection. Even her own family did not offer support, resulting in daily conflicts within their household. At last she got married at the age of 36 as second wife. She endured a 12-year wait before finding a partner to marry. In my perspective, it seemed like society's way of punishing her. But why? Simply because she refused to spend her life with the person they had chosen for her. Indian society really sucks
@io mn and ex hindus are waiting for you cause sanatan promotes 7 janmo ka pseudoscience which ruined the life of widows and tonn of girl in name of sita Ghar me aurat peette rhe Or sath janmo ka rishta chale lol
Lol bro islam completely condemn the forceful marriage of girls There are ton of hadith where without consent marriage of women being broken and they married to there choice husband
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
@@rpaafourever7908 20 % women are working and rest 80%👏. Talking about sex as if girls hate sex . There is high % of women who just want to marry a rich man so that their dreams can be fulfilled without doing any hard work . What about the concept marry a man then file for a divorce and take their half property. Oops 🤫 this is business
If the legal system is not asking any intrusive questions when two people decide to get married, they should not be so invasive when it comes to their divorce too. 🤷♀️
Because Marriage is social affair, where society recognised the union. And divorce is cheating the society's trust when they recognised the union. It's it's obvious for courts to ask why divorce.
My parents got divorced when i was 9 my dad was abusive to my mother and me. My dad married my mom because she was from a rich family and after marriage he was demanding more and more money from my mom and her parents. When she refused he would beat her. Finally after they got divorced my father forcefully took me to live with him because the house and land belonged to my mom for 5 years i constanty suffered from his abuses then my mom filed for my custody and i was let to go with my mom. Its been 6 years now living with my mom my college is about to start but like mohak said i never had depression or any sorts of those things happen to me infact i was happy that i was seperated from dad. My dad married again and now has a kid he never paid for child support we never asked him to do so my mom is a nurse and i deliver newspapers at morning since i was 16 during vactions i would even for catering jobs. The only downside is i hide this from everyone i know i have quite a lot of friends when they ask me about my dad i would have to make some lies about it.
Mohak, your work is impeccable. Your choice of topics, the research on it and the calmness in your voice is what makes you stand apart from other channels. Really appreciate your work.
Even after a financial independence many just choose to stay.... Not in the culture but it's all about "log kya kahenge".... Sigh ...such a saddening thing...
Log kya kahenge has a lot more value than people give it credit for. Social shame and praise for various things affects the life of you and your children, and making the world your enemy is neither a brave thing nor a right thing to do. Its simply foolish. Maybe check out negatives of divorces and society before saying its wrong, its not. America is perfect example, with over 50% divorce, no guy wants to marry and no woman is ever satisfied and more than 1/3 children come from single parent household and tend to do bad in everything in life. This is just the tip of the ice berg.
@@Ezra-wy7ux I think that's a separate issue all together... But then abuse, bad mental health of parents has a great effect on the child as such and hence laws framed should try to consider these as well I think
I feel Divorce is an individual choice and legal system should not be an obstacle in that journey. Its great if problems between couples are sorted out with time. But if there isn't a way out of this mess then divorce is the only solution and it shouldn't be stigmatized.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries. We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
Thank You for covering this topic. My dad lost his sister to suicide because of her abusive husband. It caused a rift between him and his sister's husband. They use to be close to each other, especially his sister's husband but then after her death my dad hated him. The person who had the worst affect from her suicide was her son. My dad went to his wedding since very few people showed up and that marriage was only able to happen with the help of few of the relatives that they were in contact with, otherwise it was inpossible. Infact in his reception, only 5% showed up.
I have seen how my father tortured my mother..I was contemplating suicide when I was of class 8, as I grew , I and my mother somewhat adjusted, and now things have cooled. I used to ask my mother, on why she never divorced him ,she replied, I CAN'T EVEN SEND YOU TO SCHOOL BECAUSE, WHEN THEY WIL GIVE A FORM, THEY WIL ASK The FATHER'S name, not of the mother.. Our low life indian society is a degenerated cr*p...Divorce is any day better than a extremely toxic relationship...god help them whose lives have wasted because if the fear of divorce .
If you have no respect for society than what makes you think society will have any respect for you? Divorce is always an option but its the last option. Mother's name can be given instead of your father's name, but you were too ignorant to figure it out. Fathers name is there cause in almost all cases father is the one who is the primary breadwinner and typically head of the household. And yes divorce is still bad, maybe instead look beyond your anecdotal life experience and read the stats for divorced couple around the world.
It's not necessary to use my father's name . I have my mother's name as a middle name She has worked hard to keep me happy and give me everything so she deserves this so that everyone will know me as her child. I tell my name proudly to everyone.
The real cowards are people who choose to stay in toxic marriages, not the ones who seek divorce from a mentally/physically abusive union. Thank you Mohak for this well-researched commentary video, I hope this reaches more and more Indians!
Cowards? Had you been in that situation you might do the same. Their circumstances, background, up bringing, knowledge, finances, support system, personal beliefs and value systems are way diff than yours. Refrain from judging others with the same lens. Very poor assessment and choice of words on your behalf.
@@ohgauch My opinion is a very subjective one because it's based on real-life experience pertaining to my family. And hence my so-called judgment is targeted only to people who might be in a similar boat so whoever shall relate will agree with me. I obviously come from a fairly privileged background and yet am privy to many toxic marriages in my circle that could've been done away with had both parties been more mature and headstrong. I never said that my opinion is the gospel truth and hence whoever reads it is free to agree to it or not. And trust me, I concur that every couple has to handle and balance its own personalized baggage of internal/external factors like you mentioned. So kindly refrain from generalizing what strangers on the internet have to say without knowing their entire backstory. Thank you!
Cowards? Please think twice before speaking as it is a very sensitive issue. I'm 19 year old, and my parents divorced when I was 10. Half my life was taken away from me. So maybe they are happy in their own life, but they destroyed mine in the process
@@uncannyroaches5933 learn to live on your own, I grew up with single mom too yet il be the only one to get us UNSC seat. Live on your own as nobody owes you anything, parents need to be happy too & they will be happy when away from each other
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's more... it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
My father and mother always fighting with each other. And they don't love eachother but both are living together because of society pressure but I think that It is better to take divorce. 😢 Now I'm 17 year old and my mother face soo many opperations from my father. Also she doing hardwork and earning money. Apart from this she also mannage every money related issue in my home.
Women are not safe in public spaces, but that does not mean that they are safe in their private spaces. Various cases of domestic violence are reported. Cases of domestic violence such as marital rape, dowry deaths, mental torture, bride burning, and female infanticide are reported daily
Yes this is sad but do you know our Indian society doesn't even see that a wife abusing his husband or beating his husband as a domestic violence for example you can her from any man "yaar agar mai yeh karunga toh biwi bohot maregi" And you'll have normal reaction but when a women says that "agar aaj yeh nahi kiya toh mera pati bohot marega" You'll have a completely different reaction, how normalized it is 💀
Its always joked that if a man is beaten by wife which is so wrong! It is shamed or ignored when a wife is beaten by man Abuse is abuse it doesnt see gender it's the indian mentality that makes it disturbing Both gender shall not beat each other to make understand seperate or get divorce you are just adding sins to your pathetic life
Thanks Mohak! Your video really resonated with me. I'm going through a mutual divorce right now, and it's been really tough. I know that sometimes people fall out of love, and that a marriage can become toxic. It's better to be separated than to suffer in a relationship that is no longer working. But the hardest part for me has been the social prejudice against divorcees. I'm ashamed to say that I'm a divorcee, even though I did nothing wrong. Your video reminded me that I'm not alone. There are many people who have gone through what I'm going through, and they have come out the other side. I'm determined to rebuild my life, and I know that I will be stronger for it. Thank you again for your video. It has given me hope.
I remember back in 2007 or 08, this rumour somewhat spread internally spread in my school among my classmates that my parents are divorced. The possible reason for this rumour could be that my Dad used to be the only parent who used to visit the school and collect (my) books during the summer break as I used to be on summer vacation mode with mom at her hometown. The other reasoning for this is also that, even during PTMs, my Dad used to be the only parent who would visit the school as the school was already 25-30kms from my school somewhere in the outskirts and this couldn't have made possible for my mom to visit alone. So, my Dad used to take a day off and visit school for PTM. It was a couple of years later, when I left the school and I happened to have a girlfriend on social media (was 14-15 at that time), who was never in my school but happened to be a friend of my schoolmate, and one day, while chatting, she told me, "your parents are divorced, I've heard it from your friends". I was kinda shocked to read this text as this was the first time I read this about my parents. Even though so far in my comment, I may appear very supportive of my mom, but, unfortunately, my mom has a mental health issue, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2015. She was having mental health issues since early or mid 2007 and had started making our home environment a livng hell. My Dad, someone who used to step out of the house, for his job, to make the ends meet, and being a 5th or 6th std school-going kid, it was difficult to interpret and ohsere the changes in one of the parents. To this day, this has been going on at some capacity and there was this one situation when back in 2010, as a 8th std kid, my Dad after having a verbal fight with mom, told me that "the only reason why I'm bearing with her is because of you, otherwise when you were a small kid, my parents and relatives had told me to leave her and remarry. But I didn't want to remarry and make your life a living hell" (which obviously has been despite having a mom who gave birth to me). So, he was somewhat trying to blame me at that point. I've a younger sibling who's almost 9 years younger than me and it was after her birth, I was able to witness and become aware of the changes in my mom's behaviour which takes me back to the 2007 days. The relatives on my mom's side, in later years, said that "your mom's the sharpest kid of mine / sharpest sibling of ours, and it's only after yout sister's birth, she has become like this". For few years, I used to think like this and didn't use to have a good sibling relationship with my sis. Over the years, we became very good to each other, and I appreciate her existence in my life and I often quote her as the Doraemon to my version of Nobita. To this day, at the age of 55, my Dad has been taking care of our home and not letting us, both the siblings feel the void of a mom, and trying to give us the best life he can, cooking the best of the best food and taking care of us more than we can even expect. I'm glad to have atleast one parent who is able to operate so well as fully grown adult, otherwise seeing myself as a 26 year old man, with some minor issues, I've been functioning like how an adult should be, but due to my alcohol addictions which I developed since November 2022 due to some issues, I don't think that I can become a good and responsible parent and set an example. Before alcohol, cigarettes used to my go-to stress killer because I didn't know other stuff rather than trying to accept the healthier path and improve myself for the long run, I've been "depending" on substances and wasting my Dad's money and efforts. I hope very soon i give up these habits and stop sounding like someone who can't quit these and needs them on a regular basis.
Sorry for few of the grammatical and spelling mistakes. While writing I didn't notice but after re-reading, I found many grammatical mistakes. Didn't expect this, but thank you so much for coming across and giving it a heart, @Soch bhai.
@@gamingcircus2637 no not like that. What I meant to say is she stays with us only, but due to her mental health, she always remains away from us within the bedroom which my parents share and she interacts with us very rarely. Physically she's all fine, but mentally she isn't. I don't know or can explain that whether she has forgotten how to interact with people or she prefers to stay alone that too from us only. Because of her illness, she thinks that we 3 - my Dad, my sis and I are harmful for her and could potentially harm her.
Biggest issue with marriage is - you expect your partner to meet your needs (besides sex), while your partner expects similarly from you. Since their needs never end but your patience ends at some point, you can't actually ever complete your partners' needs.
It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
Great work! This clearly shows what a bad marriage can do to a person, how openness to this can help at various social issues. Small step towards happy society. Peak point was the insight of mental health of single mother.
Divorce becomes necessary in case of domestic violence or infedility..however when people say the marriage is taking a toll on their mental health.. doesn't everything in life?..How many things will we run away from?..we just need to communicate better and try and solve the issues..
It's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
This is what I was wondering, people say if they're not happy in marriage they should leave Like who'll define happy? A person may not be happy even after having everything they wanted to, on top of that you'll punish an innocent side (mostly men are at the receiving end by being financially responsible) I feel adultery, DV and some heinous crimes should be a reason for divorce at any moment in marriage whereas every other reason should become invalid once you have kids involved
He missed a point..It is right that children from divorced parents might find it hard but children seeing their parents fighting for over years also had a huge impact on them and in future they lose faith over concept of marriage.
I have also talked with someone about solution for this problem ( she was also facing problems in her marriage) . Her very first response was : financial freedom is the most important. So yes financial freedom is a very a good point said in this video.
I feel happy reading this comment section. We guys specially this generation has evolved and learned so much and still open to learn....i assume and have a feeling most of us are open to transformation❤
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
No most people of this generation are also same I completed my 12th this year we had a chemistry teacher who was a divorcee and students used to make fun about her and they even made a rumour that she is having an affair with our principal because she was seen in a restaurant with her although her parents are supportive
Exactly . This is the truth. People marry very early out of love. The fact is one should heal themselves, develop their awareness , let time & self work develop them into more matured beings . Healthy people make healthy relationships.
in India ....divorce rate is less ..not because people are happy in there relationships.....its there fear of ..."log kya kahenge"....they give more importance to society than their owm happiness
Most women dont go for divorce cuz they are not self independent. And women always think for lavish life and a husband who is way richer. Many women r marrying a person by seeing his wealth not heart and behavioral. Even rich women also like models, actresses, politicsians. Women is most responsible as they choose men by seeing their wealth.
@@fahadnazir945 and why do you think marriage is necessary for happy life....if one is self independent and satisfied , they should not worry about society
We must be really open to the concept of divorce, I mean like it's way better than a toxic/violent marriage and alse better for the kids in the long run, as growing up in an abusive home leaves mental scars that don't heal....
Take a look at US before saying that, divorce enforces slacky behaviour and attitutde to give up when times get tough. Single parent households literally produce the worst kids. You have way better ways to deals with bad people in marriages than divorce. Not to mention divorce laws alsohurt men way more than women, so it be used to scam men too.
But most things like wearing veil and traditional roles are for the betterment of married woman like crimes against women in saudi arabia and iran are really low .Plus Marriage is something very important and is the main thing which keeps society stable
We are not open because the system or the whole Indian culture made us lazy. Parents make their kids lazy and overly dependant on other people. Also a reason why people don't have guts to divorce even when they feel like they got the terrible partner.
One message to all my brothers and sisters and to my all elders with due respect, that one must ensure with 100 % time and efforts that with whom you wanted to marry and be in relationship.
This comment section clearly shows how we are still not mentally developed yet to accept divorces in society if a women get abused or a men gets disrespect so what should they do? Should they stay with that toxic person for their whole life or leave that person and start a new better life? Indians need to grow alot. So sad to see this comments❌
@@angrymanwithsillymoustasche it's not about western or indian its about freedom of a person either it's a male or female. They should able to choose whom they want to spend their life with.
I guess Vedic(hindu) marriage speaks about marital bonding is upto 7th reincarnation of both husband and wife , but i still thinks it's better to be separated rather than living in abusive marriage
Maybe you are not mentally developed and matured enough to realise duties as a adult is more important than your likes and dislikes. Compromise and coordination would be immpossible if people can just leave like its nobody's buisiness. A family unit must stay strong and it is the thing which makes indians so successful and well behaved among any other nations. Compare data with US with over 50% divorce rate to see the contrast. You will see that youare the dumb one.
@@evilnightbot3131 Use that freedom to work with your life partner and make it work, people won't do the hard work if they don't have to. Everybody faces difficulty in their realtionships leaving is not the optimal choice especially for adults. And people do choose in india, even in arranged marriages, so drop the idea as if its oppressive and all people are sad. Indian families tend to be happier and more vibrant than european and american ones.
@@trueword4971 Alimony was a option in past time when women were not educated and dependent upon their husband for finance, now women are educated, are working, why do they need alimony now? and you talk about lust as if women are not lusty? Pseudofeminist
@@trueword4971 for them, not for everyone cause not everyone is dependent on husband like them at least in today's generation, so alimony law should be changed and prenup should be made legal as an option
I have no words to say! You are running the best UA-cam channel in this century. Talking about the most important social issues in India where nobody talks. You are an amazing impactful person to this society and you change the world. Please continue the hard work!
My mom never get devorced because of the "Devorcee tag", now after almost 30 years she wants to live separately, she's severely depressed, I only saw the harmony of our house based on her sacrifice which is not good. I wish I could help her.
@@trueword4971that’s not a solution to the problem. Their mom needs support group to help her be strong in taking the choice of divorce. After years of living unhappily, she probably needs that mental assurance that people won’t blame her.
by far the best and most practical thing to do.. live together for at least 2 years before you marry each other.. if you survive that, and still want to marry each other, then go ahead and do it.. but most people dont understand that they're making their decisions based on a feeling of romantic connection which might turn into the biggest trauma of their life..
Exactly, live in should be encouraged more. It's good know your partner before in marriage. It lowers the chances of divorce. And leads to happy marriage.
बॉयफ्रेंड/गर्लफ्रेंड होना और उनसे शादी करना ये बात तो आम हो चुकी है, पर मेरी माने तो शादी से पहले इस तरह से बिल्कुल भी 24 घंटों साथ नहीं रहना चाहिए.. इससे केवल निराशा ही हाथ लगती है. आजकल प्रेमी/प्रेमिकाएँ एक दुसरे के साथ बिना एक छत के नीचे रहे भी बेहद कुछ कर लेते है, तो ऐसे समय मे शादी होने तक संयम रखने से वैवाहिक जीवन सुखकर बिताया जा सकता है
Divorce should be normal ONLY and ONLY if there is mental/phusical harassment.Nowadays, many divorces are just like " we are not compatible".but how and why?? Couple doesnt have any answer to that...and there should be strict laws for money after divorce.A girl or boy qualifications should be judged for a job , whether they have kid or not...
dude if people don t love each other anymore then that s a big enough reason to divorce. Plus if someone s partner cheats on them that s a valid reason for divorce too. Think before commenting
Ok uncleji... It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
@@shreyakumari-g9z yes, right.But in urban areas, my point is still valid.If the couple's don't love each other, then after divorce, why there is a greed for alimony..even if they don't have kids?? My only point is Divorce is a positive thing but there is also a very dark side of it.(for both men and women)
I am divorced, I was physically and emotionally abused for 6 years. Many so called educated people advised me to continue with my marriage. I have my parents always supporting me but yes extended family even suggested I should get married to my ex husband only. Some judge me but few people are completely nin judgemental. But finding another partner seems difficult.
While divorce is still a taboo in India atleast people are changing their mindset slowly but in foreign countries it is much worse, most divorce happen because of money, adultery or lack of interest which is bad, people don't even try to save their marriages so we don't have to learn from them but learn the right way. Divorce should only be used as a last option either with the consent of both the parties or in case of domestic abuse regardless of gender
It's her choice, Mismatched couple should always think to discontinue their relationship. I had divorce with my wife last year and I'm happy that we took this decision. Now I hope, she will find her match.
My parents are also living in an abusive relationship for more than 17 years now and honestly it had very adverse effect on my mental health since childhood.
The last chapter of the video hit hard because my parents got divorced. And i stayed with my mom, i was fed lies about how the bad things mu father did to get me to agree with their divorce. Only to find out that it was all either lies or exaggerations simply because my maternal grandmother didn't want me to meet my father which affected my relationship with him and my up bringing a lot. Later i found out theu divorced because my mom was not feeling okay with my dad (i guess it is fair) but it was worse because they had me, and they fought for years without divorcing simply because i was their child. But finally did when i was 11. There was so much for me to learn that i learnt way later than I'd learn if i had my father or was atleast allowed to meet him. Then at 15 (due to even more family problems so my mom sent me to him as a last resort)i met my father and discovered the whole truth. I get it, they didn't want me to meet him, sure. But I'd be so much more easier and safer if i had just known the truth
Couple of things which seem too minor compared to the points brought out here. Finding apartments on rent is really tough in India for an unmarried person (gender no bar) but it's even tougher for a divorcee. And even if the apartment remains uninhabited, it's preferred to not let a divorcee stay. Speaking of domestic violence against men, many are using makeups or "accidents" as an excuse to avoid any embarrassment at work. Worst is when this discrimination severely affects your work life. Men and women both are denied any opportunity of growth once the knowledge of divorce becomes common. People prefer to sleep in separate bedrooms in the same house, go into "polyamory" (deviating from what polyamory actually is) just to be with different people while maintaining the facade of marriage in public
After going through the whole video , i think live in relationships is a much better idea than just marrying after dating someone. You get to know about a person in much wider sense than being in a relationship.
@@p.k.5332 because most of the time people do it in secret, and this is a very much recipe to get killed by a partner. Just because you're in relationship rather than arranged marriage doesn't shield you from violence. Live-in ke kaaran kaafi murders ho rhe he
Thanks, Mohak, for a wonderful video. I have been living separated for the last 3 years, and last Tuesday, we both filled divorce on a mutual ground. In my case, my parents and my partner both were against me. For more than a year, I have been mentally harassed by my parents and partner. My father even told me that he would put me in a jail if I ever thought something like this. My parents & partner even told my friends not to talk with me and put me in an isolated condition where I have no other way to go. I'm not sure why, but after watching your video, I felt like that I should share my experience here. Once again, thanks for the great content 👍
Yes divorce is a great thing (in some cases) and an important thing, but divorce laws are already good enough for girls, but a lot needs to be done for men, and it is really important
There is nothing much problem in separation but when the wife who is financial good and educated asks for alimony in court no one responds 😮 😅great divorce system of India !
It is also a permanent investment. Bank se lekar aadhar card ya jo bhi govt documents hai jaha bhi money involved hai sab kuch linked hai. In some cases, apartment ya flat ya house ka ownership bhi transfer ya share karte hai. Marriage certificate de rakha hota h koi insurance mein aur fir agar beech m toot Gaya toh waha loss. Also, when married tumne usko bohot saare cheeze khareed ke bhi Dena padega saaree, all that designer stuff, or idk whatever involving money. Itna bada investment hai
i have only seen 2 divorces in my life and don't want to see more divorce Divorces will start downfall of Indian society and family system Instead of encouraging divorces we should work on making people's behavior and habits change
The downfall started long ago when staying in a loveless violent marriage became the norm instead of letting both parties go their separate ways and live in peace.
This is the damage control. I would like to see a video on " How to choose a right partner (basic calculation ", Prevention is better than cure. If youth is taught to select a right partner, unhappy marriages and divorce rate could come down
Divorce...teen saal se aadmi hone ki saja bhugat raha hu...jhuthe case...jhuthi FIRs...abusive allegations...ek vakil chand paiso ke liye kitna gir jata hai...meri haazar koshishe sab theek karne ki...uski hazaar hasrate mujhe barbaad karne ki... Kaash ye sab hota hi nahi...
@@prajakt0789 Married after taking time , her brother, sister-in-law, and other relatives are also on my side. Only my wife and her mother are not happy with the marriage. From the very first day of marriage, my wife had started fighting, I was also shocked to see her changed behaviour. She left the house only after a year of marriage. She left house saying just for a day, after that she never came back.
Thank you for this video Mohak. It was a difficult watch for me as a 26 years old single male who dreams of having a successful "pavitra" marriage in future. I am someone who values a traditional institution like marriage but completely against abusive and unhealthy marriages prevalent in our country. At the same time I am not a fan of the western family structure and the casual nature of their marriages. However i respect that divorce is not a taboo in their culture. I am a confused person and often find myself feeling hopeless about marriage since I can't foresee my future.
If you want the pavitra marriage the only solution would be to marry from places where the word divorce has never reached. Otherwise chill stay single bro ✌️
just make sure you know everything about that person before getting into it.. This is why I like the dating culture by dating I don't mean hook up or sex before marriage but rather getting to know that person (doesn't matter if parents set u up or if you asked the person out) spend lots of time together and make sure that your compatible and your values in regards to family matter is same.. Marriage is not something you should rush over at least know the person for 1-2 years before you get into it, to our Indian society that still rubs mostly on arranged marriages 2 years might be a long time, but then again if you don't want to get divorced I'd say it's better to know what you're getting into
It is a wrong notion in India that westerners do not value marriage. They very much do. If India has similar laws as the US and also the taboos are lifted divorce rates in India would be on par with western societies.
It is really saddening to hear about the triple Train accident in odisha. My condolences with the family of those who have lost their loved ones. I pray for the speedy recovery of those injured. 🙏
How many cases of ' triple talaq' takes place in this country in a YEAR? How many cases of rapes and domestic abuse take place in this country in a DAY?
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love letter padhne ki umr mei newsletter padhna pad raha hai.. 🥲
Make detailed analysis video on lovve jjihad
Sir please ek video school love per ki school love hona sahi hai ya galat
Make a episode on childfree movement in India
There is a saying: "A divorced daughter is better than a dead daughter". Now, it can apply to both genders.
A divorced son is a poor or possibly dead son. Thanks to the legal system of India
Many parents in India think the other way. It is better to have a dead daughter than a divorced one.
@@lonelyboy4033 dowry dowry
Marriage for women is a business and divorce is a blank cheque and children are bargaining chips to be used for more alimony and mantainence in family court.
But it is opposite for most of the Indian families
Divorce is not the problem, divorce is a solution to the problem. No point being stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage if you have already given it everything to make it work, sometimes getting a divorce will be the right thing to do.
I have seen couples who want to get divorced but they are pretending to be happy couple for sake of raising children.
but divorce shouldn't be a hasty decision otherwise it's no good its worse
❤❤❤
@@russtytan8080 Tons of couples. Or, at least one partner in a marriage. But they are bound by this janmon ka bandhan, jo gala ghunta hi rehta hai till they die.
Agar aisa he to 100% divorcehi honge india me, har ghar mai coupls, couplhi nahin rehenge, har gharki kahani!
I would never understand why other people care so much about whos divorcing who like just because you're stuck in an unhappy marriage doesn't mean everyone else want to.
Marraiges are more than that in india , it's a pact between man and woman till the eternity. And a lot of pride is staked on the marraige.
Edit : not justifying anything , just providing a background of the importance of maraiges in india.
Because it's uncommon and that's why it grab people's attention
You are absolutely correct , indian society emphasises too much on the idea of an ideal family . The society expects you to stay in an unhealthy marriage just for the sake of upholding that image
@@Sailed_away so what to if you are in toxic relationship for eg man doing domestic violence with his wife , these quotes are good while being heard real life is unfair and difficult
@@abhishekbijalwan2246 file a court case. Get your husband arrested. And get court to make him pay your alimony for the rest of eternity lol 💀
An unhappy family is a social evil, not divorce. Divorce is tool to resolve it.
Right but people think that divorcees are social evil
💯
divorce ak hatiar ban chuka hain ladko ki finetieal or mental heath ki marne k liye
@sumitghosh2778oh please, our society needs more of this. You won't acknowledge the importance of this unless you see some the horrific situations that couple's find themselves in. You can't live with em but can't even leave them. This my friend is what people refer to as Bhasad.
I think divorce is better than domestic violence and making everyone in the family suffer. Indians feel proud that India has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world but they don't realise that many couples would have actually separated if there were no societal taboos.
Yes agreed
The main point is that in India sex education is also not that common so couples have kids without deciding that if they are compatible enough to have 'em and after all these shits the child has to suffer.........and these things are so generalized that nobody talks about this shit
Indians also perform the best and behave the best compared to any other country, one of the primary indicators of that is low divorce trates. So no, lets not act like domestic violence is everywhere and in every family, and divorce ishealthy its not. Divorceis always bad for kids and primary reasons for divorce is lack of interest rather than any reason, adults should not behave that way.
@@rickycool6083 no broo divorce is good when marriage ain't working because I live in a family where my parents are constantly fighting they dont realize that I am watching them I am litrally suffering from trauma so it's actually better if parents get divorced
yes that would be painful too but atleast I would not suffer from anziety
100% AGREED
If marriage is considered to be a partnership for 7 lifetimes in India, then divorce should be a religiously permitted option for those couples who are currently in their 8th lifetime together.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
LOL.
Good point
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
I hear people saying divorce is not good but yet it's better than living with a wrong partner
Namo namo
Everyday I'll sit down three times (morning, evening and night) and just whip myself up screeching and raging against anyone who says even one bad word against my PM Modiji. To me, it is imperative to have a guiding role model + respect and support our leaders. PM Modiji is therefore the obvious choice for support and I keep myself well oriented towards the direction of pro Nation, Nation building.
There will be no limits to my devotion to PM Modiji. Anyone says one bad word means they are permanently ostracised from my life. Persistent hounding of PM Modiji with useless leftist buzzwords must invite death. One of these days, my devotion will be so resolute I will risk my life, my career, my future and my family's social standing. I will risk it all to bury some fucking liberals alive for their bullshit whinging against PM Modiji. Just the thought of them saying such things fills me up with anger, so much anger I get indigestion. Time to take antacid and view this as a positive development of my loyalty to PM Modiji. Just a warning to any liberals who sees this. You say one word in a bad manner and see what happens...
You're 14 years old bro it's not that easy
@@peteck007 what
@@m.z1256 I mean that this dude is teenagee and it seems he barely has any idea about adult world
So ,why to marry a wrong parther.......
We are living in a truly f*cked up society. No education and extreme stigma when it comes to divorce, s*x, financial independence, mental health, and addressing abuses. But somehow it's completely normal in our society when married couples have extra marital affairs, shaming single moms/dads, shaming divorced individuals, not giving a child's custody to dad even if mom is mental, women shaming women for even talking about legal separation, dowry, misusing the law, etc.
I hope that the future generations evolve in a better way!
It is so sick that we live in this kind of world
@@kritika6675I think it's mostly an Asian problem. Countries in the west are way more open to discussing these things. It's why they have more rights there.
@@justanothermortal1373 Dharm is slowly vanishing from homes and minds of people. INDIA does not have a word for DIVORCE- TALAAK. India was a deeply religious country, joint families was common because religion teaches good values like tolerance, perseverance, share & care for all. Because of those Rights western societies are losing their populations.Individualism is great?(its worse, all live alone, few children born to replace the older generations. Depression and many other diseases are common. Children from divorced parents, broken homes are scarred for life.
I like how blame mostly woman.
@@justanothermortal1373You know nothing about western countries those are far worse now
I wanted to share my own perspective being the kid(I'm 18 rn) who was stuck in the middle of a divorce that never happened:
For background, both my mother and father are from very well to do families and in no way experienced any sort of hardships growing up
When I was 10 years old, that was the first time when I experienced my father breaking a glass on my mother's head. That one incident was just the start, he used to come drunk at night around 3 am everyday and used to start banging doors asking for somebody to serve him food.
Incidents like these continued till when I was about 14 years old.
One day he came up to my mother and started shouting that if you don't sleep with me right now I am going to jump out of the window and commit suicide.
I clearly remember, this happened a day before the lockdown when my mom asked my nanu what she should do, and he surprisingly told her to pack all of our stuff and come to his place.
for context, mom had told my nanu that she wanted a divorce, long before all of these incidents happened, but her whole family just shamed her and told her to deal with it on her own.
Cases were filed, with no outcome, my dad had contacts with politicians and with the help of the very convenient corruption at play in our country, no one ever showed up in the courtroom, the dates kept on extending and the case is still stuck with my dad not paying anything for our education or living.
For the first few years life was harsh, nanu rented us a place nearby and we stayed there, but because of the lockdown his business went downhill, company was stuck in a debt trap
Now 4 years later, with my college about to start, I have no sort of financial security as to how we would even survive the next few years, and my dad is living a life of luxury without showing a care in the world.
edit: The only reason we have managed to survive so far is because of the generous help by very close friends and families, especially my mother's sister, otherwise we would be on the road right now with nowhere to go.
My younger brother is turning out to be exactly like mohak said, with anger issues, he can barely study, he has a habit of compulsively lying and stealing things.
Update july 6th 2024:
-Got into delhi University
-Earned my first gig from freelancing
-Started a youtube channel to inspire others.
Far from where i wish to be.
Still struggling mentally.
Happy but not satisfied.
I am really sorry for what you have had to go through. Praying for things to get easier for you🙏🏼
More power to you and your mother... life is very hard sometimes u know..😔😔
Oh my... My heart goes out to you and all the children and animals who have been victims... A massive collective hug
It's very painful 😖😣 may I know what you are thinking to do ahead
It’s a heartbreaking situation. I am sorry that u and ur brother are paying the price for ur parents situation. If u don’t mind me asking- what did u learn from ur parents position?
My chachi is in a loveless marriage since 23 years...and my cousin got divorced after 3 years of marriage , our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years .....I feel so upset about these two woman in my family ....I really have no idea why it's so difficult for the family members to accept them as they are and support them😢
Ask your cousin to remarry everything will fall in place. They simply want people to stay married that's it. Marriage is an assurance that there is someone available for you always.
@@prajakt0789 yes I do understand that and she's looking for a partner too but it's just that the behaviour of family members towards her was just disgusting
@@prajakt0789 this should not be a solution. the family and society should change and accept divorce normally.
"our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years" ...because miserable people love to see others miserable as well.
My mom is a lecturer with a PhD. My dad is an officer in education department. I definitely feel my mom deserves better for not expecting anything from my dad even after 20 years of their marriage and taking great care of his family even when her own mother was on ventilator. She didn't hesitate a bit when she had to change my aunt's diapers who was fighting cancer. She never bought gold for herself or me. We never went on trips like any other family. We were not at all like a family. My father on the other hand wasn't someone we all saw. When my mom was pregnant with my elder brother, she was really depressed because of my father's behaviour. She was writing a death note after seeing which my dad said "if you die after writing 'my' name as the reason for your death, and if I'm put behind the bars, who's gonna take care of my big brother's kids?"
My mom literally filed divorce after this but due to pressure from our so called family and society,she had to take it back. Few months ago my parents had a big fight. Now they're not talking to each other. My mom told me to finish my 12th (I'm in 12th now) and live in a hostel for my graduation because she'll be applying for transfer after their divorce next year. She even asked my big brother to stay in hostel (he's in 2nd year mbbs). Holding onto something hurts more than letting it go. Self respect must be the first thing to think about. I love both of my parents, but I respect my mother more than my dad.
@thezoldics7648 mental abuse is definitely worse than the physical one. Both of my parents aren't clearly happy. They're not even a newly married couple, they've been married for 20 years. As the youngest in my family, I definitely don't want my parents to be like this. Their peace and my mother's self respect are more important to me than anything else. She tolerated him for 20 years, I definitely don't want her to suffer anymore. Thank you for replying though 🙏
@@theepics3665 more power to your mom and you. Wish you all the peace, happiness and healthy life ahead❤❤❤
@@yomaddy thank you so much❤️❤️❤️ honestly you've such a kind heart
My father's family was also very abusive to my mother.
They told my mom, "You don't need to do any work, you will live like my daughter" but after marriage they said, "You must do all the work, our daughter won't because she is educated and beautiful unlike you".
I suffered from depression due to their toxic behaviour, They forced me to study whole day and banned me from stepping outside the room and play with my friends. Without physical activities, I got depressed due to lack of healthy chemicals in brain which is released during playing or exercising.
I sent this message in another thread.
@@playmobilegamescodm How's it going on now??
I think a child with divorcee parents has less depression than a child with married parents who fights every single day but not ready to give each other peace by seperating ... saying this from experience
"Or trying to stay for the kids, when keeping it how it is
Will only break their hearts worse"
It's true.
I can understand from my experience too😔
Are you crazy. It's literally statistically proven otherwise. Don't talk about something before you have atleast taken out some time to learn about it
@@kunalbhat591 bro .. I dont need to search statistics about a life that I have lived ... I just shared my opinion .. and 140 people agreed .. I am not presenting my opinion as a fact unlike you .. I have zero interest in educating people like you about real life experiences over statistics data .. your way of replying just makes it clear you are on a journey to correct everybody .. and you might be used to have forced arguements with a lot of people .. well best of luck with that champ .. 👍
Being an only daughter of divorced parents I totally agree with Mohak... I am an adult now but still suffering from insecurity, fear of relationships, childhood trauma etc because of my parent's divorce. My father was very abusive and my maa raised me by herself only. It is the child who suffers the most mentally for whole life💔 but atleast I am happy that now me and maa are happy and at a peaceful environment.
For real. I still have ptsd 🥲
Something that already happened is irreversible. But what you can do for your better future is heal from those insecurities , fear of relationships , specifically from your childhood traumas . Only after healing , start dating .
Its better to be late in marrying the right one than to marry early with the wrong one .
More love & strength to you.❤
You need me.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@thewalker338 What is wrong with you man.lossing verginity does not means she is not good person. It depends on someone personal choice .why are you taking only about girls ? Whay about boys ? Are all of them vergin before marrige ?
I’m going through a divorce myself right now. Filing next month. It’s all so relatable. My mother is trying desperately to keep me in the unhappy marriage. I feel so cornered and isolated.
Thank you for discussing the issue.
Sending you lots of love ❤️ ❤️❤️
Han bhai aur ek baat batana kya society bhi tumko pareshan kar rahi hai (asking not to get divorced)?
Bhai india me prenaptial agreement hona chahiye shaadi se pehle
muuu mmu mmuu shiva 😂😂
@@sharunps4356 😂😂😂😂 us video ko dekhne ke baad jo tumne socha vahi maine bhi socha😅
Divorce is not a problem, it is a solution.
its a biggest problem
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r I dunno man, i don't want my sister to be trapped in an abusive and love-less marriage. I care more about my love ones than what society and abhay kumar says
Didnt you see this video lol@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r Avarage Indian men ☕ ,, put all blame on women, it's not a new thing ,and it's not like we care about you all anymore.....
....Keep shouting
Divorce is the way to get rich quick for women.
Such a gender balanced video. Hat's off to Mohak and Team.
Bro, you spoke my mind.
Look how much gender bias there is in India that people are surprised to see a neutral video. This is funny for being too stupid
Highest in domestic violence
Lowest divorce rate - india 😑😑
Lol . In every society men abuse women.... especially poor countries...india is not exception
Violence se acha toh divorce le lo
Only 4percent conviction rate in 498a cases... Supreme Court and many high courts held that 498a became legal terrorism... Since there is no punishment for false complaints to women, many women baselessly complaint on husband and inlaws to satisfy ego...
TRUE
Definitely shaadi ek pavitra bandhan hai but agar wo pavitra hi na ho to shaadi ka na hona hi better hai 🙂
Koi bhi cheez apne aap me pabitra ya apavitra nahi hoti. Par usko karne ka reason use pavitra banata hai.
Loved the way u switched from divorce to balding and again divorce.
Before u said traya , i thought the balding is also part of divorce.
😂😂
Same 😂😂
Actually Balding is the part of marriage
😂😂
Some people don't like bald people unless you are like jeff bezos or Vin diesel
I was in an unhappy marriage for 14 years. Got divorced some 5 years back, got two wonderful kids with me. I was just a housewife while I was married. After my divorced got a job and started studying. Completed my LLB topped university and pursing LLM. After all this I still have a cordial relationship with my ex and in laws. The reason I want to share this is because if you decide to go for divorce to change your life then it will definitely change your life. I never thought I will be able to achieve this much respect in my career. Right now I give free legal advice to people going for divorce.
Question mark on husband's future ..as he has not been allowed kids with him.
Who wil take care of him in his old age? What solution did the court gave for this problem?
@@rahuljagarwal153
I don't know why courts are so much biased towards women what about man is he not human women gets support from society and relatives but no one supports men and he suffers from loneliness get's mentally and financially broken why children were not allowed to stay with their father as they equally deserve to stay and love their childrens without husband how wife can procreate children women and man are equally designed by nature to procreate new offsprings
@@gzzhytihubgithabibhub this is western leftich ideology which is based on upabhog & destroys family structure. Old age homes r increasing, parents r sent to old age homes only after the son gets married & not before that. SO we know who is problematic. But still we haven't seen courts taking interest in this & in welfare & care of old aged parents. Now if laws r made to protect old aged parents then this wil help create joint family structure. But the forces which control leftich ideology want more nuclear families ..hence men r targets. So Family destruction is a key to it. Dekh ke to aisa hi lagta hai.
but deep down u r still alone
@@rahuljagarwal153 also ask her how much alimony she got ?
my parents got divorced when i was 5 years old. living through the experience, i am glad that they did. it is so much better than to have an unhappy home where they are always shouting and fighting.
Cool but in that case you live with someone else like any relative or someone, and that person is abuse you mentally and physically. The same word you can use that time.
Do you know what parenting means ??
U will realize once you become a parent
@@karthiknarayan6765 what you're trying to say
@@karthiknarayan6765 ?
@@abrajitota3618 what
People have to understand that everytime relationship cannot work. So it's better to be separate than to be in an unwanted relationship which may be the reason for further problems like affairs or abuse in future. Which can cause the wrong impact on the children (if they have).
Well said bro
Bro it's actually very simple , hear me out why relationships doesn't work.
1.There is no physical attraction to make the relationship going. There might be exceptions where this is not needed but the truth is it matters. Otherwise why would people want to good look.
2. The man or women abuses their partner because they think they are better than them and can order them around. This happened in the previous generations and before.
3. Genuinely there is no emotional contribution from either party causing the relationship to break.
As long as you are attractive and emotionally sane may be financially independent and get a decent partner , I can't see why the relationship wouldn't work.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@pranaya2800 Yea you are right. But I think the constant fightings between parents affect the children more than the divorce do.
@@msbrave4107 log to fir ek dusre se man bhar gya isliye bhi divorce le lenge. fights can still be solved. divorce leke bacho ki zindagi kyu kharab karni hai?
I don't give a f**k about what anybody says..but I really want my parents to get a divorce. Their toxic behaviour towards one another had a great impact on me and my sister and now we both fear marriages.
Yup bro . Only solution you have in this situation is to get financially independent as soon as possible . And ya I agree with you that we should not blame a divorced person . In fact we should treat him as a normal person .
Same here.
I'm not able to have any healthy relationship now due to the imprints their fights left in my mind
Same here..
Same here. Plus, one of them was extremely abusive to me. I am so glad that parent didn't fight for my custody or I would be dead by now.
Convince ur parents dear
I’m a divorcee myself. Walked out of my physical, mental and emotionally abusive - arranged marriage - within 5 months. I hold multiple professional degrees - Chartered Accountant, Company Secretary and Masters in Commerce. I’m proud of being brave enough to be able to walk out. My family was always supportive. But our society is a pain, undoubtedly.
teeno degree hai aapke paas.....mai abhi ca foundation mei hu
Don't choose men based on money or looks....
Our society needs to be aware themselves and our legal system also needs to be updated also need to accept the divorces
Lawyers and judges are used to milking divorces.
They are not adjusting towards increasing throughput and sales. They are just milking legacy customers.
The divorce lawyer industry is not willing to scale up and expand their market even if the demand is obviously there, thanks to thoughtless arranged marriages by hyper enthusiastic peer pressured Indian parents haunted by "char log kya kahenge".
But Bhai tere opinion ki zarurat nahi thi kisi ko
@@nikhiltirmare4654 Thanks but yeh option ki bhi kya zaroorat
@@UA-camGL_2020 arre bas mazak tha zyada seriously mat lena but accha tha tumhara comment 🫂
Shri man kya kisi ne apko yeh nhi sikhaya ki har chiz ka ek time aur jagah hoti h@@nikhiltirmare4654
10:10 These very similar things happened to my uncle. He is still fighting the case in the court, and due to that he can't even find a job and have to survive on the bare minimum. Thanks to Mohak for bringing this issue which not only affects women but men too. We need to normalize divorce in abusive relationships.
Shuruat aapse kro ya kisi dost ki madad kro, unhe support do.
yeah as much as i support women in domestic violence, i support men in domestic violence too. actually a little bit more, because seriously men might be very few in victim category. but its still way harder for them to come out. but hopefully with Johnny Depp case, men can get more freedom in expression.
but he talked about women like 90% time here
@@divyanshsingh1078.....why men are less victims????why you people always support women???in every hardships there are men who support????? When you get accident on the road and you will lying there like a snake...you gf will not come to save you...there will be MEN❤
@@hitendratiwari1990 You misunderstood his comment. He said "I support men a little more".
What are you arguing about
It is better to get seperated than to stay in toxic unwanted relationship which kills from inside each and everyday
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
my story
we were frnds for 5yrs,
live in for 1 yr.
got married, stayed together for 2yr. then now separated ,
she stays in her hometown doing business, i stay near my company away 3days train journey.
now no phones , no talk .
i only talk to her in dreams .
what is abusive , what is western culture..
@@priyanshupriyam5996 spouse refers to both
Doesn't matter, what matters is money. If your spouse is a high earner then divorce is of no use. Money matters, not emotions or so called social rights.
@@pranaya2800 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
I Hear People Saying Divorce is Not Good But Yet Divorce is Better Than Living With a Wrong Partner..
We're human we do make mistakes, I don't know why people don't understand it. In my friend neighbors house there was a girl who run away at the day of her marriage because she don't wanted to get married with that guy. The exact reasons behind her decision remain unknown to me. However, since that incident, no man has ever chosen to marry her. She has faced constant rejection. Even her own family did not offer support, resulting in daily conflicts within their household. At last she got married at the age of 36 as second wife. She endured a 12-year wait before finding a partner to marry. In my perspective, it seemed like society's way of punishing her. But why? Simply because she refused to spend her life with the person they had chosen for her. Indian society really sucks
@io mn and ex hindus are waiting for you cause sanatan promotes 7 janmo ka pseudoscience which ruined the life of widows and tonn of girl in name of sita
Ghar me aurat peette rhe Or sath janmo ka rishta chale lol
Lol bro islam completely condemn the forceful marriage of girls
There are ton of hadith where without consent marriage of women being broken and they married to there choice husband
@@iomn😂😂
@io mn try harder😂
@io mn lol😂😂
Divorce is not a sigma but the way to move on from toxic marriages
And society must understand it
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
@@rpaafourever7908 20 % women are working and rest 80%👏. Talking about sex as if girls hate sex . There is high % of women who just want to marry a rich man so that their dreams can be fulfilled without doing any hard work .
What about the concept marry a man then file for a divorce and take their half property. Oops 🤫 this is business
@THE ZOLDICS It is up to the people in the marriage what they want to do .
@@rpaafourever7908 survey link??
Sigma nhi bhai stigma hota hai 😭
If the legal system is not asking any intrusive questions when two people decide to get married, they should not be so invasive when it comes to their divorce too. 🤷♀️
Preach!!!
Yaa... Phuppi bi wale questions they would ask in a family court.
@@adityachauhan3205 cope.
Because Marriage is social affair, where society recognised the union.
And divorce is cheating the society's trust when they recognised the union. It's it's obvious for courts to ask why divorce.
Legal system should not be involved at all in the family matters
My parents got divorced when i was 9 my dad was abusive to my mother and me. My dad married my mom because she was from a rich family and after marriage he was demanding more and more money from my mom and her parents. When she refused he would beat her. Finally after they got divorced my father forcefully took me to live with him because the house and land belonged to my mom for 5 years i constanty suffered from his abuses then my mom filed for my custody and i was let to go with my mom. Its been 6 years now living with my mom my college is about to start but like mohak said i never had depression or any sorts of those things happen to me infact i was happy that i was seperated from dad. My dad married again and now has a kid he never paid for child support we never asked him to do so my mom is a nurse and i deliver newspapers at morning since i was 16 during vactions i would even for catering jobs. The only downside is i hide this from everyone i know i have quite a lot of friends when they ask me about my dad i would have to make some lies about it.
Same
Its great that you opened up here! More power to you!!
Mohak, your work is impeccable. Your choice of topics, the research on it and the calmness in your voice is what makes you stand apart from other channels.
Really appreciate your work.
Even after a financial independence many just choose to stay.... Not in the culture but it's all about "log kya kahenge".... Sigh ...such a saddening thing...
Log kya kahenge has a lot more value than people give it credit for. Social shame and praise for various things affects the life of you and your children, and making the world your enemy is neither a brave thing nor a right thing to do. Its simply foolish. Maybe check out negatives of divorces and society before saying its wrong, its not. America is perfect example, with over 50% divorce, no guy wants to marry and no woman is ever satisfied and more than 1/3 children come from single parent household and tend to do bad in everything in life. This is just the tip of the ice berg.
@@Ezra-wy7ux I think that's a separate issue all together... But then abuse, bad mental health of parents has a great effect on the child as such and hence laws framed should try to consider these as well I think
I feel Divorce is an individual choice and legal system should not be an obstacle in that journey. Its great if problems between couples are sorted out with time. But if there isn't a way out of this mess then divorce is the only solution and it shouldn't be stigmatized.
i 100% agree with you
I wish someone sued the legal system over this
@@Dwitiya_Nasti_OM muslims already do that so no problem
@द्वितीय नास्ती (ओ३म्) Sources, now
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
Thank You for covering this topic. My dad lost his sister to suicide because of her abusive husband. It caused a rift between him and his sister's husband. They use to be close to each other, especially his sister's husband but then after her death my dad hated him. The person who had the worst affect from her suicide was her son. My dad went to his wedding since very few people showed up and that marriage was only able to happen with the help of few of the relatives that they were in contact with, otherwise it was inpossible. Infact in his reception, only 5% showed up.
I have seen how my father tortured my mother..I was contemplating suicide when I was of class 8, as I grew , I and my mother somewhat adjusted, and now things have cooled. I used to ask my mother, on why she never divorced him ,she replied, I CAN'T EVEN SEND YOU TO SCHOOL BECAUSE, WHEN THEY WIL GIVE A FORM, THEY WIL ASK The FATHER'S name, not of the mother.. Our low life indian society is a degenerated cr*p...Divorce is any day better than a extremely toxic relationship...god help them whose lives have wasted because if the fear of divorce .
From 1990's for schools both parents name are given
If you have no respect for society than what makes you think society will have any respect for you? Divorce is always an option but its the last option. Mother's name can be given instead of your father's name, but you were too ignorant to figure it out. Fathers name is there cause in almost all cases father is the one who is the primary breadwinner and typically head of the household. And yes divorce is still bad, maybe instead look beyond your anecdotal life experience and read the stats for divorced couple around the world.
It's not necessary to use my father's name . I have my mother's name as a middle name She has worked hard to keep me happy and give me everything so she deserves this so that everyone will know me as her child. I tell my name proudly to everyone.
@@gsdjessie ok hindu, woman now go and drink your husband's feet water. it contains all the holy water in it.
@@jabirmohammedhussain7091 why are you butthurt... pervert
The real cowards are people who choose to stay in toxic marriages, not the ones who seek divorce from a mentally/physically abusive union. Thank you Mohak for this well-researched commentary video, I hope this reaches more and more Indians!
Cowards? Had you been in that situation you might do the same. Their circumstances, background, up bringing, knowledge, finances, support system, personal beliefs and value systems are way diff than yours. Refrain from judging others with the same lens. Very poor assessment and choice of words on your behalf.
@@ohgauch My opinion is a very subjective one because it's based on real-life experience pertaining to my family. And hence my so-called judgment is targeted only to people who might be in a similar boat so whoever shall relate will agree with me. I obviously come from a fairly privileged background and yet am privy to many toxic marriages in my circle that could've been done away with had both parties been more mature and headstrong. I never said that my opinion is the gospel truth and hence whoever reads it is free to agree to it or not. And trust me, I concur that every couple has to handle and balance its own personalized baggage of internal/external factors like you mentioned. So kindly refrain from generalizing what strangers on the internet have to say without knowing their entire backstory. Thank you!
@@curiouslyunruffled 👍
Cowards? Please think twice before speaking as it is a very sensitive issue.
I'm 19 year old, and my parents divorced when I was 10. Half my life was taken away from me.
So maybe they are happy in their own life, but they destroyed mine in the process
@@uncannyroaches5933 learn to live on your own, I grew up with single mom too yet il be the only one to get us UNSC seat.
Live on your own as nobody owes you anything, parents need to be happy too & they will be happy when away from each other
More than 70 percent marriages I know including mine would have been broken if people were open to divorce 😢
Power to you maam
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's more... it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
70 percent that means the majority of the population is not matured enough to be considered qualified to enter in the institute of marriage
Divorce is better than staying in an abusive marriage
I don't even understand why divorce itself is a big legal matter, just some paperwork and the couple are free to separate.
Meet a lawyer ....mutual separation is easiest way for divorce
@Hersheyyy And I object to them, it they want to separate just let it happen, why such a hassle even legally?
Well we are not in an animistic society so marriage is not just paper work....
It is not so easy, if it was so easy more than marraige halls divorce lawyers would have been more easy
@@PROOB-xq2rq Yes but they should do that before having kids
Divorce Is A Blessing If... Your Partner Is Not Happy With U... At Least...Live Your Life With Peace... 😌
Divorce is far better than being suffered through Unhappy, Mental Pressure , Domestic Violence and Women treat as object
My father and mother always fighting with each other. And they don't love eachother but both are living together because of society pressure but I think that It is better to take divorce. 😢
Now I'm 17 year old and my mother face soo many opperations from my father. Also she doing hardwork and earning money.
Apart from this she also mannage every money related issue in my home.
Women are not safe in public spaces, but that does not mean that they are safe in their private spaces. Various cases of domestic violence are reported. Cases of domestic violence such as marital rape, dowry deaths, mental torture, bride burning, and female infanticide are reported daily
Yes this is sad but do you know our Indian society doesn't even see that a wife abusing his husband or beating his husband as a domestic violence for example you can her from any man "yaar agar mai yeh karunga toh biwi bohot maregi" And you'll have normal reaction but when a women says that "agar aaj yeh nahi kiya toh mera pati bohot marega" You'll have a completely different reaction, how normalized it is 💀
@@Proteinrichyash true feminist
Kaha milti hai tum jaisi ldkiya Samriddhi 🙇🏻♂️
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
Its always joked that if a man is beaten by wife which is so wrong!
It is shamed or ignored when a wife is beaten by man
Abuse is abuse it doesnt see gender it's the indian mentality that makes it disturbing
Both gender shall not beat each other to make understand seperate or get divorce you are just adding sins to your pathetic life
@@rishiraul ❤😅
People think low divorce rates are good, they're not. It only means more people are stuck in abusive and unhappy marriages
Thanks Mohak! Your video really resonated with me. I'm going through a mutual divorce right now, and it's been really tough. I know that sometimes people fall out of love, and that a marriage can become toxic. It's better to be separated than to suffer in a relationship that is no longer working.
But the hardest part for me has been the social prejudice against divorcees. I'm ashamed to say that I'm a divorcee, even though I did nothing wrong.
Your video reminded me that I'm not alone. There are many people who have gone through what I'm going through, and they have come out the other side. I'm determined to rebuild my life, and I know that I will be stronger for it.
Thank you again for your video. It has given me hope.
More power to you bhaai.
What's your age sis?
Kyu divorce le rahi hain aap?
I remember back in 2007 or 08, this rumour somewhat spread internally spread in my school among my classmates that my parents are divorced.
The possible reason for this rumour could be that my Dad used to be the only parent who used to visit the school and collect (my) books during the summer break as I used to be on summer vacation mode with mom at her hometown. The other reasoning for this is also that, even during PTMs, my Dad used to be the only parent who would visit the school as the school was already 25-30kms from my school somewhere in the outskirts and this couldn't have made possible for my mom to visit alone. So, my Dad used to take a day off and visit school for PTM.
It was a couple of years later, when I left the school and I happened to have a girlfriend on social media (was 14-15 at that time), who was never in my school but happened to be a friend of my schoolmate, and one day, while chatting, she told me, "your parents are divorced, I've heard it from your friends".
I was kinda shocked to read this text as this was the first time I read this about my parents. Even though so far in my comment, I may appear very supportive of my mom, but, unfortunately, my mom has a mental health issue, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2015. She was having mental health issues since early or mid 2007 and had started making our home environment a livng hell. My Dad, someone who used to step out of the house, for his job, to make the ends meet, and being a 5th or 6th std school-going kid, it was difficult to interpret and ohsere the changes in one of the parents. To this day, this has been going on at some capacity and there was this one situation when back in 2010, as a 8th std kid, my Dad after having a verbal fight with mom, told me that "the only reason why I'm bearing with her is because of you, otherwise when you were a small kid, my parents and relatives had told me to leave her and remarry. But I didn't want to remarry and make your life a living hell" (which obviously has been despite having a mom who gave birth to me). So, he was somewhat trying to blame me at that point. I've a younger sibling who's almost 9 years younger than me and it was after her birth, I was able to witness and become aware of the changes in my mom's behaviour which takes me back to the 2007 days. The relatives on my mom's side, in later years, said that "your mom's the sharpest kid of mine / sharpest sibling of ours, and it's only after yout sister's birth, she has become like this". For few years, I used to think like this and didn't use to have a good sibling relationship with my sis. Over the years, we became very good to each other, and I appreciate her existence in my life and I often quote her as the Doraemon to my version of Nobita.
To this day, at the age of 55, my Dad has been taking care of our home and not letting us, both the siblings feel the void of a mom, and trying to give us the best life he can, cooking the best of the best food and taking care of us more than we can even expect. I'm glad to have atleast one parent who is able to operate so well as fully grown adult, otherwise seeing myself as a 26 year old man, with some minor issues, I've been functioning like how an adult should be, but due to my alcohol addictions which I developed since November 2022 due to some issues, I don't think that I can become a good and responsible parent and set an example. Before alcohol, cigarettes used to my go-to stress killer because I didn't know other stuff rather than trying to accept the healthier path and improve myself for the long run, I've been "depending" on substances and wasting my Dad's money and efforts. I hope very soon i give up these habits and stop sounding like someone who can't quit these and needs them on a regular basis.
Sorry for few of the grammatical and spelling mistakes. While writing I didn't notice but after re-reading, I found many grammatical mistakes.
Didn't expect this, but thank you so much for coming across and giving it a heart, @Soch bhai.
What happened to your mom then?
@@gamingcircus2637 she's still there with us physically, but not mentally.
She's in her own world.
@@prize5ighter you mean she lost her consciousness or she went into comma?
@@gamingcircus2637 no not like that. What I meant to say is she stays with us only, but due to her mental health, she always remains away from us within the bedroom which my parents share and she interacts with us very rarely.
Physically she's all fine, but mentally she isn't. I don't know or can explain that whether she has forgotten how to interact with people or she prefers to stay alone that too from us only. Because of her illness, she thinks that we 3 - my Dad, my sis and I are harmful for her and could potentially harm her.
Biggest issue with marriage is - you expect your partner to meet your needs (besides sex), while your partner expects similarly from you.
Since their needs never end but your patience ends at some point, you can't actually ever complete your partners' needs.
The word is "wants". Needs are universally accepted. Wants are individual and endless. Sorry for being pedantic.
@@anandsharma7430 You are punctilious
the biggest reason ppl want to divorce is abuse dude
It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
Great work! This clearly shows what a bad marriage can do to a person, how openness to this can help at various social issues. Small step towards happy society. Peak point was the insight of mental health of single mother.
Don't marry. One life
Divorce becomes necessary in case of domestic violence or infedility..however when people say the marriage is taking a toll on their mental health.. doesn't everything in life?..How many things will we run away from?..we just need to communicate better and try and solve the issues..
Truth.
But when that communication also fails to solve the problems, divorce becomes a necessity.
Sometimes inlaws are also the reason for arguements between husband and wife
It's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
This is what I was wondering, people say if they're not happy in marriage they should leave
Like who'll define happy? A person may not be happy even after having everything they wanted to, on top of that you'll punish an innocent side (mostly men are at the receiving end by being financially responsible)
I feel adultery, DV and some heinous crimes should be a reason for divorce at any moment in marriage whereas every other reason should become invalid once you have kids involved
कोई बात नहीं, करते रहो तलाक से नफ़रत। शादी ही नहीं करेंगे तो तलाक का सवाल पैदा ही नहीं होगा।🙏🙏🙏
He missed a point..It is right that children from divorced parents might find it hard but children seeing their parents fighting for over years also had a huge impact on them and in future they lose faith over concept of marriage.
Like I did
I have also talked with someone about solution for this problem ( she was also facing problems in her marriage) . Her very first response was : financial freedom is the most important. So yes financial freedom is a very a good point said in this video.
I feel happy reading this comment section. We guys specially this generation has evolved and learned so much and still open to learn....i assume and have a feeling most of us are open to transformation❤
Love ❤U Meri Charu
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
No most people of this generation are also same I completed my 12th this year we had a chemistry teacher who was a divorcee and students used to make fun about her and they even made a rumour that she is having an affair with our principal because she was seen in a restaurant with her although her parents are supportive
@thezoldics7648Divorced women aren't stupid that they'll just let someone use and throw them. This is just fear mongering.
Divorce is best thing about women freedom. Its a gift.
Alimony...
@@spiderman-mk3ww dowry....
Man also
@@spiderman-mk3ww Dowry is a gift even if he is divorced or not LOL
Man salute to you for just taking topics that many many people are either ignorant or wanting to vent out in frustration..
I think the main problem is not divorce . The problem is not achieving the maturity enough to choose the right life partner .
@@usersYT that is what I said still maximum of human beings don't have that maturity and foresightedness to choose the right person .
Rightly pointed out. First need to work on creating thoughtful sensitive individuals in the society. It will take great work.
Rightly said bro that's the main point
Exactly . This is the truth. People marry very early out of love.
The fact is one should heal themselves, develop their awareness , let time & self work develop them into more matured beings .
Healthy people make healthy relationships.
@@anupriyaghosh8442most people aren't mature enough to understand day to day situations, I have seen it in both public setting and private setting
in India ....divorce rate is less ..not because people are happy in there relationships.....its there fear of ..."log kya kahenge"....they give more importance to society than their owm happiness
And who will marry devorced women espically who have children
Same western reasoning of if something is good outside west then the people are shit simple....
@@fahadnazir945 true even if someone wants to marry a divorce women or men first their family Stop them
Most women dont go for divorce cuz they are not self independent. And women always think for lavish life and a husband who is way richer. Many women r marrying a person by seeing his wealth not heart and behavioral. Even rich women also like models, actresses, politicsians. Women is most responsible as they choose men by seeing their wealth.
@@fahadnazir945 and why do you think marriage is necessary for happy life....if one is self independent and satisfied , they should not worry about society
my mom is divorced but she dosent care what other people think about
More power to your mom.
Divorce = Freedom 👍
@@mogleesh-22 I see my BlackPilled brother everywhere
We must be really open to the concept of divorce, I mean like it's way better than a toxic/violent marriage and alse better for the kids in the long run, as growing up in an abusive home leaves mental scars that don't heal....
Take a look at US before saying that, divorce enforces slacky behaviour and attitutde to give up when times get tough. Single parent households literally produce the worst kids. You have way better ways to deals with bad people in marriages than divorce. Not to mention divorce laws alsohurt men way more than women, so it be used to scam men too.
But most things like wearing veil and traditional roles are for the betterment of married woman like crimes against women in saudi arabia and iran are really low .Plus Marriage is something very important and is the main thing which keeps society stable
We are not open because the system or the whole Indian culture made us lazy. Parents make their kids lazy and overly dependant on other people. Also a reason why people don't have guts to divorce even when they feel like they got the terrible partner.
@@N.Aristotle lol you are dumb what kind of statistics are you talking about in Iran violence against women is an all time high
@@N.Aristotle lmao
One message to all my brothers and sisters and to my all elders with due respect, that one must ensure with 100 % time and efforts that with whom you wanted to marry and be in relationship.
" I am single " I am am happy that I am independent.
I can live my life differently unlike others.
I can work for my passion rather than giving up.
👍
Virgin ladki chahiye, Second hand ko to divorce dena hi hoga
@@thewalker338 yeah
@@thewalker338I hope this is sarcastic humour.
@@Lalalqnd nope, he is scammer copy pasting it in almost every reply and it's quite pathetic honestly
Divorce is better than Toxic relationship... Wish our judiciary understand this..
This comment section clearly shows how we are still not mentally developed yet to accept divorces in society if a women get abused or a men gets disrespect so what should they do? Should they stay with that toxic person for their whole life or leave that person and start a new better life? Indians need to grow alot. So sad to see this comments❌
Because people think it's western culture against our culture
@@angrymanwithsillymoustasche it's not about western or indian its about freedom of a person either it's a male or female. They should able to choose whom they want to spend their life with.
I guess Vedic(hindu) marriage speaks about marital bonding is upto 7th reincarnation of both husband and wife , but i still thinks it's better to be separated rather than living in abusive marriage
Maybe you are not mentally developed and matured enough to realise duties as a adult is more important than your likes and dislikes. Compromise and coordination would be immpossible if people can just leave like its nobody's buisiness. A family unit must stay strong and it is the thing which makes indians so successful and well behaved among any other nations. Compare data with US with over 50% divorce rate to see the contrast. You will see that youare the dumb one.
@@evilnightbot3131 Use that freedom to work with your life partner and make it work, people won't do the hard work if they don't have to. Everybody faces difficulty in their realtionships leaving is not the optimal choice especially for adults. And people do choose in india, even in arranged marriages, so drop the idea as if its oppressive and all people are sad. Indian families tend to be happier and more vibrant than european and american ones.
पूरी जिंदगी रो कर काटने से अच्छा है, तलाक ले कर अपना बाकी जीवन अच्छे से व्यतीत करे।
Topics you could have easily covered:-
1) Abuse of section 498A
2) Harrasement of husbands for Maintenance and property.
I wish you will cover these.
Agreed. It deserves a part 2 with more aspects such as the one you gave
Firstly why he brings other people's daughter and sister's for lust fulfillment. Now he have to face the consequences of instant pleasure
@@trueword4971 Alimony was a option in past time when women were not educated and dependent upon their husband for finance, now women are educated, are working, why do they need alimony now? and you talk about lust as if women are not lusty? Pseudofeminist
@@rohan.d2045 because in bihar and Rajasthan jharkhand and many villages they bring child when she was 18-19 yrs old.
So, alimony is nessasary
@@trueword4971 for them, not for everyone cause not everyone is dependent on husband like them at least in today's generation, so alimony law should be changed and prenup should be made legal as an option
I have no words to say! You are running the best UA-cam channel in this century. Talking about the most important social issues in India where nobody talks. You are an amazing impactful person to this society and you change the world. Please continue the hard work!
My mom never get devorced because of the "Devorcee tag", now after almost 30 years she wants to live separately, she's severely depressed, I only saw the harmony of our house based on her sacrifice which is not good. I wish I could help her.
So you should not marry. You have to face same consequences like your mother
It’s sad! But many women live like this, including my aunts. One was married to an alcoholic, one to a dowry-beggar.
@@trueword4971that’s not a solution to the problem. Their mom needs support group to help her be strong in taking the choice of divorce. After years of living unhappily, she probably needs that mental assurance that people won’t blame her.
This is one of many reasons I advocate living in together before anything. Which is still seen as something too unrealistic for India.
by far the best and most practical thing to do.. live together for at least 2 years before you marry each other.. if you survive that, and still want to marry each other, then go ahead and do it.. but most people dont understand that they're making their decisions based on a feeling of romantic connection which might turn into the biggest trauma of their life..
Exactly, live in should be encouraged more. It's good know your partner before in marriage. It lowers the chances of divorce. And leads to happy marriage.
बॉयफ्रेंड/गर्लफ्रेंड होना और उनसे शादी करना ये बात तो आम हो चुकी है, पर मेरी माने तो शादी से पहले इस तरह से बिल्कुल भी 24 घंटों साथ नहीं रहना चाहिए.. इससे केवल निराशा ही हाथ लगती है. आजकल प्रेमी/प्रेमिकाएँ एक दुसरे के साथ बिना एक छत के नीचे रहे भी बेहद कुछ कर लेते है, तो ऐसे समय मे शादी होने तक संयम रखने से वैवाहिक जीवन सुखकर बिताया जा सकता है
Or maybe we should live in forever.
@@abhinandannuli7574 This💯
Divorce should be normal ONLY and ONLY if there is mental/phusical harassment.Nowadays, many divorces are just like " we are not compatible".but how and why?? Couple doesnt have any answer to that...and there should be strict laws for money after divorce.A girl or boy qualifications should be judged for a job , whether they have kid or not...
Correct. 3 of my friends got divorced last year. These cases are increasing really really fast.
dude if people don t love each other anymore then that s a big enough reason to divorce. Plus if someone s partner cheats on them that s a valid reason for divorce too. Think before commenting
Ok uncleji... It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
@@shreyakumari-g9z yes, right.But in urban areas, my point is still valid.If the couple's don't love each other, then after divorce, why there is a greed for alimony..even if they don't have kids?? My only point is Divorce is a positive thing but there is also a very dark side of it.(for both men and women)
When it comes to inequality, india is on top notch❤
I am divorced, I was physically and emotionally abused for 6 years. Many so called educated people advised me to continue with my marriage. I have my parents always supporting me but yes extended family even suggested I should get married to my ex husband only. Some judge me but few people are completely nin judgemental. But finding another partner seems difficult.
While divorce is still a taboo in India atleast people are changing their mindset slowly but in foreign countries it is much worse, most divorce happen because of money, adultery or lack of interest which is bad, people don't even try to save their marriages so we don't have to learn from them but learn the right way. Divorce should only be used as a last option either with the consent of both the parties or in case of domestic abuse regardless of gender
It's her choice, Mismatched couple should always think to discontinue their relationship.
I had divorce with my wife last year and I'm happy that we took this decision. Now I hope, she will find her match.
Divorce should be normalized. If you cant live with each other, please go on your own separate ways without caring about what society will say.
What a in-Depth research and knowledgeable video it was! Hand off to you Mohak! Thanks for making videos on these sensitive topics!
My parents are also living in an abusive relationship for more than 17 years now and honestly it had very adverse effect on my mental health since childhood.
After ur marriage be good to ur kids😊
If couple want divorce then just give them simple but our society makes thing difficult
The last chapter of the video hit hard because my parents got divorced. And i stayed with my mom, i was fed lies about how the bad things mu father did to get me to agree with their divorce. Only to find out that it was all either lies or exaggerations simply because my maternal grandmother didn't want me to meet my father which affected my relationship with him and my up bringing a lot. Later i found out theu divorced because my mom was not feeling okay with my dad (i guess it is fair) but it was worse because they had me, and they fought for years without divorcing simply because i was their child. But finally did when i was 11. There was so much for me to learn that i learnt way later than I'd learn if i had my father or was atleast allowed to meet him. Then at 15 (due to even more family problems so my mom sent me to him as a last resort)i met my father and discovered the whole truth. I get it, they didn't want me to meet him, sure. But I'd be so much more easier and safer if i had just known the truth
Couple of things which seem too minor compared to the points brought out here.
Finding apartments on rent is really tough in India for an unmarried person (gender no bar) but it's even tougher for a divorcee. And even if the apartment remains uninhabited, it's preferred to not let a divorcee stay.
Speaking of domestic violence against men, many are using makeups or "accidents" as an excuse to avoid any embarrassment at work. Worst is when this discrimination severely affects your work life. Men and women both are denied any opportunity of growth once the knowledge of divorce becomes common.
People prefer to sleep in separate bedrooms in the same house, go into "polyamory" (deviating from what polyamory actually is) just to be with different people while maintaining the facade of marriage in public
True
God india really fucked up bad
It's not that difficult nowdays.But makes sense to have 1 house to your name
All true, especially the last point. It's very common.
After going through the whole video , i think live in relationships is a much better idea than just marrying after dating someone. You get to know about a person in much wider sense than being in a relationship.
USA is a failed society mainly for this reason.
Same thoughts man but i feel in our country's society it will be harder to execute
Live in relationship sucks
@@peteck007 why do you think so?
@@p.k.5332 because most of the time people do it in secret, and this is a very much recipe to get killed by a partner. Just because you're in relationship rather than arranged marriage doesn't shield you from violence. Live-in ke kaaran kaafi murders ho rhe he
Thanks, Mohak, for a wonderful video.
I have been living separated for the last 3 years, and last Tuesday, we both filled divorce on a mutual ground. In my case, my parents and my partner both were against me. For more than a year, I have been mentally harassed by my parents and partner. My father even told me that he would put me in a jail if I ever thought something like this. My parents & partner even told my friends not to talk with me and put me in an isolated condition where I have no other way to go.
I'm not sure why, but after watching your video, I felt like that I should share my experience here.
Once again, thanks for the great content 👍
Sorry for what you are going through. Hope things get better
Sh!t man life is hard. And woman making life harder.
Then how you agreed your partner for mutual consent divorce ?
very well researched ....thank you Mohak
Yes divorce is a great thing (in some cases) and an important thing, but divorce laws are already good enough for girls, but a lot needs to be done for men, and it is really important
Firstly why anyone have to marry.
Divorce is great thing. But marriage is a stupid concept
When the country's respected PM is a divorcee, divorce should not be a big issue anymore.
He is not divorcee, his marriage is invalid ( Child marriage)
Thank you so much Soch team for shedding light on such topics! I love you and your work!😍🤍
I love that your videos have become longer because now you go deep into the topic!!
Divorce is better than Marriage ... The main reason of Divorce is Marriage ....
🙄
তুমি তোমার বাপ মায়ের বিয়ের আগেই জন্মেছ নাকি ? 😂😂
There is nothing much problem in separation but when the wife who is financial good and educated asks for alimony in court no one responds 😮 😅great divorce system of India !
Why do Indians hate divorce?
Because we have unhinged expensive weddings
That is the mistake of people who conduct them
It is also a permanent investment.
Bank se lekar aadhar card ya jo bhi govt documents hai jaha bhi money involved hai sab kuch linked hai. In some cases, apartment ya flat ya house ka ownership bhi transfer ya share karte hai.
Marriage certificate de rakha hota h koi insurance mein aur fir agar beech m toot Gaya toh waha loss.
Also, when married tumne usko bohot saare cheeze khareed ke bhi Dena padega saaree, all that designer stuff, or idk whatever involving money.
Itna bada investment hai
i have only seen 2 divorces in my life and don't want to see more divorce
Divorces will start downfall of Indian society and family system
Instead of encouraging divorces we should work on making people's behavior and habits change
How would u change people dear???
The downfall started long ago when staying in a loveless violent marriage became the norm instead of letting both parties go their separate ways and live in peace.
Divorce is not a problem, its a solution to tons of problems. 🙏
This is the damage control. I would like to see a video on " How to choose a right partner (basic calculation ", Prevention is better than cure. If youth is taught to select a right partner, unhappy marriages and divorce rate could come down
Divorce...teen saal se aadmi hone ki saja bhugat raha hu...jhuthe case...jhuthi FIRs...abusive allegations...ek vakil chand paiso ke liye kitna gir jata hai...meri haazar koshishe sab theek karne ki...uski hazaar hasrate mujhe barbaad karne ki...
Kaash ye sab hota hi nahi...
Did you marry in haste? Reasons for divorce?
@@prajakt0789 Married after taking time , her brother, sister-in-law, and other relatives are also on my side. Only my wife and her mother are not happy with the marriage. From the very first day of marriage, my wife had started fighting, I was also shocked to see her changed behaviour. She left the house only after a year of marriage. She left house saying just for a day, after that she never came back.
Kudos to you for picking up this sensitive topic.. and you put it out well ..
Thank you for this video Mohak. It was a difficult watch for me as a 26 years old single male who dreams of having a successful "pavitra" marriage in future. I am someone who values a traditional institution like marriage but completely against abusive and unhealthy marriages prevalent in our country. At the same time I am not a fan of the western family structure and the casual nature of their marriages. However i respect that divorce is not a taboo in their culture. I am a confused person and often find myself feeling hopeless about marriage since I can't foresee my future.
Marriage is very important decision. Check for all the red flags without directly asking.
If you want the pavitra marriage the only solution would be to marry from places where the word divorce has never reached. Otherwise chill stay single bro ✌️
@@KRB696 Mars seems like the perfect place then
just make sure you know everything about that person before getting into it.. This is why I like the dating culture by dating I don't mean hook up or sex before marriage but rather getting to know that person (doesn't matter if parents set u up or if you asked the person out) spend lots of time together and make sure that your compatible and your values in regards to family matter is same.. Marriage is not something you should rush over at least know the person for 1-2 years before you get into it, to our Indian society that still rubs mostly on arranged marriages 2 years might be a long time, but then again if you don't want to get divorced I'd say it's better to know what you're getting into
It is a wrong notion in India that westerners do not value marriage. They very much do. If India has similar laws as the US and also the taboos are lifted divorce rates in India would be on par with western societies.
Divorce is just a part of life nothing to worried about everyone need to be independent in life
It is really saddening to hear about the triple Train accident in odisha. My condolences with the family of those who have lost their loved ones. I pray for the speedy recovery of those injured. 🙏
How many cases of ' triple talaq' takes place in this country in a YEAR?
How many cases of rapes and domestic abuse take place in this country in a DAY?
@@nazeerpasha2075 bhai Odis a ka train accident ke baare mein bol raha hain. ..na ki triple talak..ke baare mein...
@@nazeerpasha2075 at least read the whole comment
@@nazeerpasha2075triple dekh ke kapna shuru? 😂
@@nazeerpasha2075nashe me youtube dekh rha kya 😂😂