I would never understand why other people care so much about whos divorcing who like just because you're stuck in an unhappy marriage doesn't mean everyone else want to.
Marraiges are more than that in india , it's a pact between man and woman till the eternity. And a lot of pride is staked on the marraige. Edit : not justifying anything , just providing a background of the importance of maraiges in india.
You are absolutely correct , indian society emphasises too much on the idea of an ideal family . The society expects you to stay in an unhealthy marriage just for the sake of upholding that image
@@Sailed_away so what to if you are in toxic relationship for eg man doing domestic violence with his wife , these quotes are good while being heard real life is unfair and difficult
Divorce is not the problem, divorce is a solution to the problem. No point being stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage if you have already given it everything to make it work, sometimes getting a divorce will be the right thing to do.
@@russtytan8080 Tons of couples. Or, at least one partner in a marriage. But they are bound by this janmon ka bandhan, jo gala ghunta hi rehta hai till they die.
If marriage is considered to be a partnership for 7 lifetimes in India, then divorce should be a religiously permitted option for those couples who are currently in their 8th lifetime together.
I wanted to share my own perspective being the kid(I'm 18 rn) who was stuck in the middle of a divorce that never happened: For background, both my mother and father are from very well to do families and in no way experienced any sort of hardships growing up When I was 10 years old, that was the first time when I experienced my father breaking a glass on my mother's head. That one incident was just the start, he used to come drunk at night around 3 am everyday and used to start banging doors asking for somebody to serve him food. Incidents like these continued till when I was about 14 years old. One day he came up to my mother and started shouting that if you don't sleep with me right now I am going to jump out of the window and commit suicide. I clearly remember, this happened a day before the lockdown when my mom asked my nanu what she should do, and he surprisingly told her to pack all of our stuff and come to his place. for context, mom had told my nanu that she wanted a divorce, long before all of these incidents happened, but her whole family just shamed her and told her to deal with it on her own. Cases were filed, with no outcome, my dad had contacts with politicians and with the help of the very convenient corruption at play in our country, no one ever showed up in the courtroom, the dates kept on extending and the case is still stuck with my dad not paying anything for our education or living. For the first few years life was harsh, nanu rented us a place nearby and we stayed there, but because of the lockdown his business went downhill, company was stuck in a debt trap Now 4 years later, with my college about to start, I have no sort of financial security as to how we would even survive the next few years, and my dad is living a life of luxury without showing a care in the world. edit: The only reason we have managed to survive so far is because of the generous help by very close friends and families, especially my mother's sister, otherwise we would be on the road right now with nowhere to go. My younger brother is turning out to be exactly like mohak said, with anger issues, he can barely study, he has a habit of compulsively lying and stealing things. Update july 6th 2024: -Got into delhi University -Earned my first gig from freelancing -Started a youtube channel to inspire others. Far from where i wish to be. Still struggling mentally. Happy but not satisfied.
It’s a heartbreaking situation. I am sorry that u and ur brother are paying the price for ur parents situation. If u don’t mind me asking- what did u learn from ur parents position?
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r I dunno man, i don't want my sister to be trapped in an abusive and love-less marriage. I care more about my love ones than what society and abhay kumar says
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r Avarage Indian men ☕ ,, put all blame on women, it's not a new thing ,and it's not like we care about you all anymore..... ....Keep shouting
My mom is a lecturer with a PhD. My dad is an officer in education department. I definitely feel my mom deserves better for not expecting anything from my dad even after 20 years of their marriage and taking great care of his family even when her own mother was on ventilator. She didn't hesitate a bit when she had to change my aunt's diapers who was fighting cancer. She never bought gold for herself or me. We never went on trips like any other family. We were not at all like a family. My father on the other hand wasn't someone we all saw. When my mom was pregnant with my elder brother, she was really depressed because of my father's behaviour. She was writing a death note after seeing which my dad said "if you die after writing 'my' name as the reason for your death, and if I'm put behind the bars, who's gonna take care of my big brother's kids?" My mom literally filed divorce after this but due to pressure from our so called family and society,she had to take it back. Few months ago my parents had a big fight. Now they're not talking to each other. My mom told me to finish my 12th (I'm in 12th now) and live in a hostel for my graduation because she'll be applying for transfer after their divorce next year. She even asked my big brother to stay in hostel (he's in 2nd year mbbs). Holding onto something hurts more than letting it go. Self respect must be the first thing to think about. I love both of my parents, but I respect my mother more than my dad.
@thezoldics7648 mental abuse is definitely worse than the physical one. Both of my parents aren't clearly happy. They're not even a newly married couple, they've been married for 20 years. As the youngest in my family, I definitely don't want my parents to be like this. Their peace and my mother's self respect are more important to me than anything else. She tolerated him for 20 years, I definitely don't want her to suffer anymore. Thank you for replying though 🙏
My father's family was also very abusive to my mother. They told my mom, "You don't need to do any work, you will live like my daughter" but after marriage they said, "You must do all the work, our daughter won't because she is educated and beautiful unlike you". I suffered from depression due to their toxic behaviour, They forced me to study whole day and banned me from stepping outside the room and play with my friends. Without physical activities, I got depressed due to lack of healthy chemicals in brain which is released during playing or exercising. I sent this message in another thread.
I don't give a f**k about what anybody says..but I really want my parents to get a divorce. Their toxic behaviour towards one another had a great impact on me and my sister and now we both fear marriages.
Yup bro . Only solution you have in this situation is to get financially independent as soon as possible . And ya I agree with you that we should not blame a divorced person . In fact we should treat him as a normal person .
Being an only daughter of divorced parents I totally agree with Mohak... I am an adult now but still suffering from insecurity, fear of relationships, childhood trauma etc because of my parent's divorce. My father was very abusive and my maa raised me by herself only. It is the child who suffers the most mentally for whole life💔 but atleast I am happy that now me and maa are happy and at a peaceful environment.
Something that already happened is irreversible. But what you can do for your better future is heal from those insecurities , fear of relationships , specifically from your childhood traumas . Only after healing , start dating . Its better to be late in marrying the right one than to marry early with the wrong one . More love & strength to you.❤
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries. We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@thewalker338 What is wrong with you man.lossing verginity does not means she is not good person. It depends on someone personal choice .why are you taking only about girls ? Whay about boys ? Are all of them vergin before marrige ?
I’m going through a divorce myself right now. Filing next month. It’s all so relatable. My mother is trying desperately to keep me in the unhappy marriage. I feel so cornered and isolated. Thank you for discussing the issue.
My chachi is in a loveless marriage since 23 years...and my cousin got divorced after 3 years of marriage , our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years .....I feel so upset about these two woman in my family ....I really have no idea why it's so difficult for the family members to accept them as they are and support them😢
Ask your cousin to remarry everything will fall in place. They simply want people to stay married that's it. Marriage is an assurance that there is someone available for you always.
@@prajakt0789 yes I do understand that and she's looking for a partner too but it's just that the behaviour of family members towards her was just disgusting
"our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years" ...because miserable people love to see others miserable as well.
my parents got divorced when i was 5 years old. living through the experience, i am glad that they did. it is so much better than to have an unhappy home where they are always shouting and fighting.
Cool but in that case you live with someone else like any relative or someone, and that person is abuse you mentally and physically. The same word you can use that time.
People have to understand that everytime relationship cannot work. So it's better to be separate than to be in an unwanted relationship which may be the reason for further problems like affairs or abuse in future. Which can cause the wrong impact on the children (if they have).
Bro it's actually very simple , hear me out why relationships doesn't work. 1.There is no physical attraction to make the relationship going. There might be exceptions where this is not needed but the truth is it matters. Otherwise why would people want to good look. 2. The man or women abuses their partner because they think they are better than them and can order them around. This happened in the previous generations and before. 3. Genuinely there is no emotional contribution from either party causing the relationship to break. As long as you are attractive and emotionally sane may be financially independent and get a decent partner , I can't see why the relationship wouldn't work.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries. We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@msbrave4107 log to fir ek dusre se man bhar gya isliye bhi divorce le lenge. fights can still be solved. divorce leke bacho ki zindagi kyu kharab karni hai?
I was in an unhappy marriage for 14 years. Got divorced some 5 years back, got two wonderful kids with me. I was just a housewife while I was married. After my divorced got a job and started studying. Completed my LLB topped university and pursing LLM. After all this I still have a cordial relationship with my ex and in laws. The reason I want to share this is because if you decide to go for divorce to change your life then it will definitely change your life. I never thought I will be able to achieve this much respect in my career. Right now I give free legal advice to people going for divorce.
Question mark on husband's future ..as he has not been allowed kids with him. Who wil take care of him in his old age? What solution did the court gave for this problem?
@@rahuljagarwal153 I don't know why courts are so much biased towards women what about man is he not human women gets support from society and relatives but no one supports men and he suffers from loneliness get's mentally and financially broken why children were not allowed to stay with their father as they equally deserve to stay and love their childrens without husband how wife can procreate children women and man are equally designed by nature to procreate new offsprings
@@gzzhytihubgithabibhub this is western leftich ideology which is based on upabhog & destroys family structure. Old age homes r increasing, parents r sent to old age homes only after the son gets married & not before that. SO we know who is problematic. But still we haven't seen courts taking interest in this & in welfare & care of old aged parents. Now if laws r made to protect old aged parents then this wil help create joint family structure. But the forces which control leftich ideology want more nuclear families ..hence men r targets. So Family destruction is a key to it. Dekh ke to aisa hi lagta hai.
If the legal system is not asking any intrusive questions when two people decide to get married, they should not be so invasive when it comes to their divorce too. 🤷♀️
Because Marriage is social affair, where society recognised the union. And divorce is cheating the society's trust when they recognised the union. It's it's obvious for courts to ask why divorce.
10:10 These very similar things happened to my uncle. He is still fighting the case in the court, and due to that he can't even find a job and have to survive on the bare minimum. Thanks to Mohak for bringing this issue which not only affects women but men too. We need to normalize divorce in abusive relationships.
yeah as much as i support women in domestic violence, i support men in domestic violence too. actually a little bit more, because seriously men might be very few in victim category. but its still way harder for them to come out. but hopefully with Johnny Depp case, men can get more freedom in expression.
@@divyanshsingh1078.....why men are less victims????why you people always support women???in every hardships there are men who support????? When you get accident on the road and you will lying there like a snake...you gf will not come to save you...there will be MEN❤
Lawyers and judges are used to milking divorces. They are not adjusting towards increasing throughput and sales. They are just milking legacy customers. The divorce lawyer industry is not willing to scale up and expand their market even if the demand is obviously there, thanks to thoughtless arranged marriages by hyper enthusiastic peer pressured Indian parents haunted by "char log kya kahenge".
I feel Divorce is an individual choice and legal system should not be an obstacle in that journey. Its great if problems between couples are sorted out with time. But if there isn't a way out of this mess then divorce is the only solution and it shouldn't be stigmatized.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries. We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
The real cowards are people who choose to stay in toxic marriages, not the ones who seek divorce from a mentally/physically abusive union. Thank you Mohak for this well-researched commentary video, I hope this reaches more and more Indians!
Cowards? Had you been in that situation you might do the same. Their circumstances, background, up bringing, knowledge, finances, support system, personal beliefs and value systems are way diff than yours. Refrain from judging others with the same lens. Very poor assessment and choice of words on your behalf.
@@ohgauch My opinion is a very subjective one because it's based on real-life experience pertaining to my family. And hence my so-called judgment is targeted only to people who might be in a similar boat so whoever shall relate will agree with me. I obviously come from a fairly privileged background and yet am privy to many toxic marriages in my circle that could've been done away with had both parties been more mature and headstrong. I never said that my opinion is the gospel truth and hence whoever reads it is free to agree to it or not. And trust me, I concur that every couple has to handle and balance its own personalized baggage of internal/external factors like you mentioned. So kindly refrain from generalizing what strangers on the internet have to say without knowing their entire backstory. Thank you!
Cowards? Please think twice before speaking as it is a very sensitive issue. I'm 19 year old, and my parents divorced when I was 10. Half my life was taken away from me. So maybe they are happy in their own life, but they destroyed mine in the process
@@uncannyroaches5933 learn to live on your own, I grew up with single mom too yet il be the only one to get us UNSC seat. Live on your own as nobody owes you anything, parents need to be happy too & they will be happy when away from each other
My parents got divorced when i was 9 my dad was abusive to my mother and me. My dad married my mom because she was from a rich family and after marriage he was demanding more and more money from my mom and her parents. When she refused he would beat her. Finally after they got divorced my father forcefully took me to live with him because the house and land belonged to my mom for 5 years i constanty suffered from his abuses then my mom filed for my custody and i was let to go with my mom. Its been 6 years now living with my mom my college is about to start but like mohak said i never had depression or any sorts of those things happen to me infact i was happy that i was seperated from dad. My dad married again and now has a kid he never paid for child support we never asked him to do so my mom is a nurse and i deliver newspapers at morning since i was 16 during vactions i would even for catering jobs. The only downside is i hide this from everyone i know i have quite a lot of friends when they ask me about my dad i would have to make some lies about it.
We're human we do make mistakes, I don't know why people don't understand it. In my friend neighbors house there was a girl who run away at the day of her marriage because she don't wanted to get married with that guy. The exact reasons behind her decision remain unknown to me. However, since that incident, no man has ever chosen to marry her. She has faced constant rejection. Even her own family did not offer support, resulting in daily conflicts within their household. At last she got married at the age of 36 as second wife. She endured a 12-year wait before finding a partner to marry. In my perspective, it seemed like society's way of punishing her. But why? Simply because she refused to spend her life with the person they had chosen for her. Indian society really sucks
@io mn and ex hindus are waiting for you cause sanatan promotes 7 janmo ka pseudoscience which ruined the life of widows and tonn of girl in name of sita Ghar me aurat peette rhe Or sath janmo ka rishta chale lol
Lol bro islam completely condemn the forceful marriage of girls There are ton of hadith where without consent marriage of women being broken and they married to there choice husband
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's more... it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
Even after a financial independence many just choose to stay.... Not in the culture but it's all about "log kya kahenge".... Sigh ...such a saddening thing...
Log kya kahenge has a lot more value than people give it credit for. Social shame and praise for various things affects the life of you and your children, and making the world your enemy is neither a brave thing nor a right thing to do. Its simply foolish. Maybe check out negatives of divorces and society before saying its wrong, its not. America is perfect example, with over 50% divorce, no guy wants to marry and no woman is ever satisfied and more than 1/3 children come from single parent household and tend to do bad in everything in life. This is just the tip of the ice berg.
@@Ezra-wy7ux I think that's a separate issue all together... But then abuse, bad mental health of parents has a great effect on the child as such and hence laws framed should try to consider these as well I think
Women are not safe in public spaces, but that does not mean that they are safe in their private spaces. Various cases of domestic violence are reported. Cases of domestic violence such as marital rape, dowry deaths, mental torture, bride burning, and female infanticide are reported daily
Yes this is sad but do you know our Indian society doesn't even see that a wife abusing his husband or beating his husband as a domestic violence for example you can her from any man "yaar agar mai yeh karunga toh biwi bohot maregi" And you'll have normal reaction but when a women says that "agar aaj yeh nahi kiya toh mera pati bohot marega" You'll have a completely different reaction, how normalized it is 💀
Its always joked that if a man is beaten by wife which is so wrong! It is shamed or ignored when a wife is beaten by man Abuse is abuse it doesnt see gender it's the indian mentality that makes it disturbing Both gender shall not beat each other to make understand seperate or get divorce you are just adding sins to your pathetic life
Thanks Mohak! Your video really resonated with me. I'm going through a mutual divorce right now, and it's been really tough. I know that sometimes people fall out of love, and that a marriage can become toxic. It's better to be separated than to suffer in a relationship that is no longer working. But the hardest part for me has been the social prejudice against divorcees. I'm ashamed to say that I'm a divorcee, even though I did nothing wrong. Your video reminded me that I'm not alone. There are many people who have gone through what I'm going through, and they have come out the other side. I'm determined to rebuild my life, and I know that I will be stronger for it. Thank you again for your video. It has given me hope.
Biggest issue with marriage is - you expect your partner to meet your needs (besides sex), while your partner expects similarly from you. Since their needs never end but your patience ends at some point, you can't actually ever complete your partners' needs.
It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
Thank You for covering this topic. My dad lost his sister to suicide because of her abusive husband. It caused a rift between him and his sister's husband. They use to be close to each other, especially his sister's husband but then after her death my dad hated him. The person who had the worst affect from her suicide was her son. My dad went to his wedding since very few people showed up and that marriage was only able to happen with the help of few of the relatives that they were in contact with, otherwise it was inpossible. Infact in his reception, only 5% showed up.
I remember back in 2007 or 08, this rumour somewhat spread internally spread in my school among my classmates that my parents are divorced. The possible reason for this rumour could be that my Dad used to be the only parent who used to visit the school and collect (my) books during the summer break as I used to be on summer vacation mode with mom at her hometown. The other reasoning for this is also that, even during PTMs, my Dad used to be the only parent who would visit the school as the school was already 25-30kms from my school somewhere in the outskirts and this couldn't have made possible for my mom to visit alone. So, my Dad used to take a day off and visit school for PTM. It was a couple of years later, when I left the school and I happened to have a girlfriend on social media (was 14-15 at that time), who was never in my school but happened to be a friend of my schoolmate, and one day, while chatting, she told me, "your parents are divorced, I've heard it from your friends". I was kinda shocked to read this text as this was the first time I read this about my parents. Even though so far in my comment, I may appear very supportive of my mom, but, unfortunately, my mom has a mental health issue, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2015. She was having mental health issues since early or mid 2007 and had started making our home environment a livng hell. My Dad, someone who used to step out of the house, for his job, to make the ends meet, and being a 5th or 6th std school-going kid, it was difficult to interpret and ohsere the changes in one of the parents. To this day, this has been going on at some capacity and there was this one situation when back in 2010, as a 8th std kid, my Dad after having a verbal fight with mom, told me that "the only reason why I'm bearing with her is because of you, otherwise when you were a small kid, my parents and relatives had told me to leave her and remarry. But I didn't want to remarry and make your life a living hell" (which obviously has been despite having a mom who gave birth to me). So, he was somewhat trying to blame me at that point. I've a younger sibling who's almost 9 years younger than me and it was after her birth, I was able to witness and become aware of the changes in my mom's behaviour which takes me back to the 2007 days. The relatives on my mom's side, in later years, said that "your mom's the sharpest kid of mine / sharpest sibling of ours, and it's only after yout sister's birth, she has become like this". For few years, I used to think like this and didn't use to have a good sibling relationship with my sis. Over the years, we became very good to each other, and I appreciate her existence in my life and I often quote her as the Doraemon to my version of Nobita. To this day, at the age of 55, my Dad has been taking care of our home and not letting us, both the siblings feel the void of a mom, and trying to give us the best life he can, cooking the best of the best food and taking care of us more than we can even expect. I'm glad to have atleast one parent who is able to operate so well as fully grown adult, otherwise seeing myself as a 26 year old man, with some minor issues, I've been functioning like how an adult should be, but due to my alcohol addictions which I developed since November 2022 due to some issues, I don't think that I can become a good and responsible parent and set an example. Before alcohol, cigarettes used to my go-to stress killer because I didn't know other stuff rather than trying to accept the healthier path and improve myself for the long run, I've been "depending" on substances and wasting my Dad's money and efforts. I hope very soon i give up these habits and stop sounding like someone who can't quit these and needs them on a regular basis.
Sorry for few of the grammatical and spelling mistakes. While writing I didn't notice but after re-reading, I found many grammatical mistakes. Didn't expect this, but thank you so much for coming across and giving it a heart, @Soch bhai.
@@gamingcircus2637 no not like that. What I meant to say is she stays with us only, but due to her mental health, she always remains away from us within the bedroom which my parents share and she interacts with us very rarely. Physically she's all fine, but mentally she isn't. I don't know or can explain that whether she has forgotten how to interact with people or she prefers to stay alone that too from us only. Because of her illness, she thinks that we 3 - my Dad, my sis and I are harmful for her and could potentially harm her.
Great work! This clearly shows what a bad marriage can do to a person, how openness to this can help at various social issues. Small step towards happy society. Peak point was the insight of mental health of single mother.
I feel happy reading this comment section. We guys specially this generation has evolved and learned so much and still open to learn....i assume and have a feeling most of us are open to transformation❤
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
No most people of this generation are also same I completed my 12th this year we had a chemistry teacher who was a divorcee and students used to make fun about her and they even made a rumour that she is having an affair with our principal because she was seen in a restaurant with her although her parents are supportive
Divorce...teen saal se aadmi hone ki saja bhugat raha hu...jhuthe case...jhuthi FIRs...abusive allegations...ek vakil chand paiso ke liye kitna gir jata hai...meri haazar koshishe sab theek karne ki...uski hazaar hasrate mujhe barbaad karne ki... Kaash ye sab hota hi nahi...
@@prajakt0789 Married after taking time , her brother, sister-in-law, and other relatives are also on my side. Only my wife and her mother are not happy with the marriage. From the very first day of marriage, my wife had started fighting, I was also shocked to see her changed behaviour. She left the house only after a year of marriage. She left house saying just for a day, after that she never came back.
Divorce becomes necessary in case of domestic violence or infedility..however when people say the marriage is taking a toll on their mental health.. doesn't everything in life?..How many things will we run away from?..we just need to communicate better and try and solve the issues..
It's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
This is what I was wondering, people say if they're not happy in marriage they should leave Like who'll define happy? A person may not be happy even after having everything they wanted to, on top of that you'll punish an innocent side (mostly men are at the receiving end by being financially responsible) I feel adultery, DV and some heinous crimes should be a reason for divorce at any moment in marriage whereas every other reason should become invalid once you have kids involved
My father and mother always fighting with each other. And they don't love eachother but both are living together because of society pressure but I think that It is better to take divorce. 😢 Now I'm 17 year old and my mother face soo many opperations from my father. Also she doing hardwork and earning money. Apart from this she also mannage every money related issue in my home.
by far the best and most practical thing to do.. live together for at least 2 years before you marry each other.. if you survive that, and still want to marry each other, then go ahead and do it.. but most people dont understand that they're making their decisions based on a feeling of romantic connection which might turn into the biggest trauma of their life..
Exactly, live in should be encouraged more. It's good know your partner before in marriage. It lowers the chances of divorce. And leads to happy marriage.
बॉयफ्रेंड/गर्लफ्रेंड होना और उनसे शादी करना ये बात तो आम हो चुकी है, पर मेरी माने तो शादी से पहले इस तरह से बिल्कुल भी 24 घंटों साथ नहीं रहना चाहिए.. इससे केवल निराशा ही हाथ लगती है. आजकल प्रेमी/प्रेमिकाएँ एक दुसरे के साथ बिना एक छत के नीचे रहे भी बेहद कुछ कर लेते है, तो ऐसे समय मे शादी होने तक संयम रखने से वैवाहिक जीवन सुखकर बिताया जा सकता है
i have only seen 2 divorces in my life and don't want to see more divorce Divorces will start downfall of Indian society and family system Instead of encouraging divorces we should work on making people's behavior and habits change
The downfall started long ago when staying in a loveless violent marriage became the norm instead of letting both parties go their separate ways and live in peace.
I have also talked with someone about solution for this problem ( she was also facing problems in her marriage) . Her very first response was : financial freedom is the most important. So yes financial freedom is a very a good point said in this video.
My mom never get devorced because of the "Devorcee tag", now after almost 30 years she wants to live separately, she's severely depressed, I only saw the harmony of our house based on her sacrifice which is not good. I wish I could help her.
@@trueword4971that’s not a solution to the problem. Their mom needs support group to help her be strong in taking the choice of divorce. After years of living unhappily, she probably needs that mental assurance that people won’t blame her.
I got married in 2012 . Separated after one year. Divorced in 2017. It was a force marriage , i wanted to commit suicide it lead to depression, anxiety and OCD right after my marriage. I used to be a carefree girl. Now suffering from OCD since 2012. Divorce hone k wajah se dubara shadi to nhi hui. But i m happy ki toxic relationship me nhi hu. Divorce lena easy to nhi tha but now my father understands my situation.
One message to all my brothers and sisters and to my all elders with due respect, that one must ensure with 100 % time and efforts that with whom you wanted to marry and be in relationship.
Ok...my story... being financially independent doesn't allow people to divorce as well.. My mom started earning before my father (it was an arrange marriage and my mom belong to a poor family but she studied). I was 2 months old and she earned 6k per month and I got pneumonia...when I was just 2 months old. And at that time my dad was studying as well, so she handled it all plus we lived in rented house (for the family disowned because my ma wanted to earn). She handled it all and my dad then got a job and we started living a decent life (even tho I remember nothing for I help up or came to my senses when everything was ok..I mean financially). But ...after that once I was 8, my Dad was at home and my mom was cooking and she added spices a lil more...and my dad started arguing. I don't exactly remember what happened apart from me sobbing. Then he said he is leaving us so my mom hid the keys. He asked her for keys anr my mom refused so HE GRAB HER HAIR AND THREW HER HEAD NEAR A BUCKET AND HER HEAD HIT THE WALL. I WAS traumatized. But things didn't end here, he wanted her to leave job but she knew my dad will just spend all money on alcohol and his brothers and my cousins (they were and still are more dear to him:). She even handled the expenses of my grandma surgery of eye and tuberculosis. Then also my grandma (who disowned us :) ) kept saying my dad to beat her. So one day he came drunk...I was 15, he picked up my sandal and beating her on face (sandles had a lil heel)...my mom face started bleeding. I wanted it stop so I came in between...He held my hair and threw me on ground...:-) ... My grandma said its your personal matter so solve yourself.. I told her to file a divorce but instead she scolded me saying "Samaaz kya kahega"...."aisa nahi bolte... chizon ko fix karna chahiye".... :-):-):,-):,-)
Divorce should be normal ONLY and ONLY if there is mental/phusical harassment.Nowadays, many divorces are just like " we are not compatible".but how and why?? Couple doesnt have any answer to that...and there should be strict laws for money after divorce.A girl or boy qualifications should be judged for a job , whether they have kid or not...
dude if people don t love each other anymore then that s a big enough reason to divorce. Plus if someone s partner cheats on them that s a valid reason for divorce too. Think before commenting
Ok uncleji... It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
@@shreyakumari-g9z yes, right.But in urban areas, my point is still valid.If the couple's don't love each other, then after divorce, why there is a greed for alimony..even if they don't have kids?? My only point is Divorce is a positive thing but there is also a very dark side of it.(for both men and women)
While divorce is still a taboo in India atleast people are changing their mindset slowly but in foreign countries it is much worse, most divorce happen because of money, adultery or lack of interest which is bad, people don't even try to save their marriages so we don't have to learn from them but learn the right way. Divorce should only be used as a last option either with the consent of both the parties or in case of domestic abuse regardless of gender
Thanks, Mohak, for a wonderful video. I have been living separated for the last 3 years, and last Tuesday, we both filled divorce on a mutual ground. In my case, my parents and my partner both were against me. For more than a year, I have been mentally harassed by my parents and partner. My father even told me that he would put me in a jail if I ever thought something like this. My parents & partner even told my friends not to talk with me and put me in an isolated condition where I have no other way to go. I'm not sure why, but after watching your video, I felt like that I should share my experience here. Once again, thanks for the great content 👍
My parents are separate without divorce. Let me briefly list 13 REASONS WHY divorce is a nightmare 1. Kid dilemma 2. Child trauma 3. Legal proceedings (time and money) 4. Monetary settlements 5. Split of assets 6. Hatred for divorce councelling 7. Family pressure to let things be 8. External relationships and normalcy 9. Mental strain on all parties 10. Documentation nightmares 11. Law is a rather poor judge for parental competency and divorce suitability. 12. Abuse 13. Taboo
Law is not a poor judge for parental competency considering in India women are the only parent staying with the child a lot. It is very clear that majority of the fathers in India can clearly only take on the financial responsibility of the child. If society changes going forward then law needs to consider other things as well but for now clearly even working women take the children's responsibility.
@@razkarki047 please do not generalise such shit without understanding others pain. There are genuine cases of domestic abuse such as me and my mom's and it's a lot more common than u might think
*Marriage + Wisdom + Education + Freedom to divorce = Healthy Balance for Society* Schools should teach kids how to recognize their own priorities around characteristics of an ideal life partner and how to deeply engage with friends in helping them seek the same. 20-30% is a healthy range for divorce rate striking a good balance between freedom from abusive partners and without having to deal with social stigma vs. adverse impact of divorce on children. India needs to invest into building *a wiser next generation* so that young people are choosing the right partner to marry decreasing the chance of needing divorce, but also choosing to get divorce in time in order to lead a better life with greater freedom, growth and prosperity than living in depression in an abusive marriage.
Unilateral divorce is the need of the hour, the reason for divorce should be as simple as that a person doesn't love another. Thanks for making a video on this topic.
Yeah 100% agree, we also need to make men pay double alimony and double child support and men should be put behind bars by default after divorce so that they can't even visit our kids the usual once a year the court allows. We are not getting enough money too, 80% of man's money and his parents house and property should go to the wife after divorce
If a child is taught to be kind and compassionate then I guess society will be better! we ask our kids to study well and to hell with compassion so it is NOT just about divorce but it is about increasing violence in society as well!
It's her choice, Mismatched couple should always think to discontinue their relationship. I had divorce with my wife last year and I'm happy that we took this decision. Now I hope, she will find her match.
The ultimate truth is that no marriage is perfect and there will be ups and downs and both of the parties must compromise. Divorce are more common in cities. I think that Indian society is great for making a pressure on the couple to stay married in this way most of the couples will compromise, otherwise we might see a situation like USA where people divorce over small matters and the bad effect is passed on to the children who grow up to be unfit individuals with mental health problems and increase the number of dangerous people in the society.
Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
My mother is a single parent and I am very proud of her . I have her name as my middle name . When ever someone ask me my name I proudly tell my full name .
As somebody who has gone through a divorce, my experience tells me the family of the girl never wants to accept her back, especially if there is a brother. They see her as a financial liability and a source of embarrassment. It happens a lot even in so called educated families. Relatives also play a big hand in introducing such toxic ideas that makes us women fear even going back even for a short duration, to our parents homes, post divorce. Secondly, the brothers also feel insecure about the inheritance they might lose due to the presence of their female siblings.. Causing rifts as in my case. Now I have moved out and stay by myself post divorce. Its more peaceful than the toxic societal relationships.
When your brother gets married there will be more issues but atleast you have someone who can help you if you are sick or something. Don’t spoil your relationship with your brother or get married again or adopt a child. I know sounds bad but people need support in life
@sochbymm One of the best book to understand the influence of family in human society is Sapiens by Hariri. He emphasises the same notion as you have: family is the most important unit in Indian and Chinese society whereas in Europe and US, it is individuals. He gives a nice theory for this, which I feel makes sense. Once again, nicely researched amazing video!
I have no words to say! You are running the best UA-cam channel in this century. Talking about the most important social issues in India where nobody talks. You are an amazing impactful person to this society and you change the world. Please continue the hard work!
People judge divorcees so harshly and discriminate against them even if their marriage was unhappy. People would rather that people died from sadness in bad marriages than divorce.
I got married before 5 years. My family is well educated and full of talented artists. My mother, sister and grandmother are talented in cooking, dancing, education, socialy and job. My wife is from rich family and she was never given any such learning so she doesn't know all these things. ( we don't care about all these. we never force her to do what we know.) Yet my wife feels jealous of other leadies of my family. She feels that she isn't perfect match for my family. Me and her keep on arguing for multiple times for last 5 years. She wants divorce just because she can't compete with my family member's talents. Me and her parents have been explaining her that we don't even expect her to compete with other women of my family. we are good with what she is. She has been telling multiple times that if she was financially independent then she could have left me. She tells that talent of my mother and sister gives her depression. In this case, I don't have any option other than avoiding her and explaining her. Even her family also agrees with me that my wife is immature.
@@shreyakumari-g9z Her family isn't. Her parents agree that she is dumb. Her parents tell that she is my wife now its her home and she will have to adjust according to my family.
@@maulikkamdar3349 she needs to work on her insecurities so she doesn't get jealous and compare herself with everyone around her. Im sorry you're in this situation, I hope she works on herself more and becomes confident in herself. Good luck.
@@fahadnazir945 because arranged marriages are usually done for the sake of settling down, not out of love so they last longer however, that doesn't make them better whatsoever. My parents had an arranged marriage and they are still married to this day but they never stop fighting and I hate it. I would rather have divorced parents than this and it's not like they are bad parents but they're definitely terrible partners.
@@speedforce8970 But dear in devorce its children who suffers most. Men usually marry new woman But women feels too much difficulty in finding new husband as marring devorced women is considered as taboo and if she had children no person is ready to adopt her children as his step children. So most of poor women become prostitutes to feed thir children In societies where there is polyghamy espically pushtun and arab devorced women easily find new mates
@@fahadnazir945 and that is a problem. It shouldn't be taboo to get an divorce if the husband and wife are clearly not compatible. I know I would suffer if a divorce happened but that would be temporary and I'll eventually get over it. I have never seen a successful arranged marriage ever but I have seen successful love marriages before which leads me to believe that love marriages are overall better for happier lives but they aren't bulletproof which is why divorce shouldn't be a taboo. Not only would it help people find better partners, it would also result in better parents and in turn better children. I don't want any child to be raised in the same environment I was in.
@@Discoveknowledge khud puri kro financial need, work hard.. u can't have freedom and live a life of ur choice without paying for it.. and it's all better than bieng with someone who doesn't want to be with u.. I understand if that compromise is for a short time, but to live with it is not worth it..
This is the damage control. I would like to see a video on " How to choose a right partner (basic calculation ", Prevention is better than cure. If youth is taught to select a right partner, unhappy marriages and divorce rate could come down
Very informative. You highlighted both parts that divorce can be good or bad. It shouldnt be done too easily nor linger several years. Proper therapy needs to be done in advance to prevent divorce n fix marriage. I appreciate you sharing that men are being abused n harassed too and women face loneliness& depression more
Problem with divorce is it just not get finished with husband and wife both side relatives get into it and most of them make fun of it which becomes phobia to people "" aww if we take divorce people will laugh at us "" not only relatives friends get involved even neighbourhood get involved their thinking their talks spoil whole Atmosphere it will be like Rana ranga if anyone announce their divorce😂😂😂
Divorce may be empowering to a few, but it doesn't mean that you don't try to solve or work on the issues of your relationship together as a couple.... Nothing in life's easy and divorce should be considered only as a last resort.
It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
I know many men stuck in marriage and facing domestic abuse. Some managed to change it into a good relationship but some just could not do anything about it and are stuck for life in it.
India sabse TOP mai hoga Divorce ke cases mai ager yaha ke 30% couples bhi open up ho jaaye ke they are not happy in the marriage and staying in relationship just for the fcking society's "4 logg kya kahenge" 😂 At least 80% Indians aren't happy in their marriage. At LEAST. Likh ke le lo. ✌️
Not everyone faces domestic violence. Most of the Indians have sense of Satisfaction with what they have. Unlike others who are always dissatisfied But at the same point it's better to get divorced than facing domestic violence .
It's not even about domestic violence ig. Coz bachpan mein mummy papa dono hi bohot maarte hai baccho ko and it's really common and naturally accepted. Maarna as in gussa hone pe thappad, ya fir belan se, ya jhadu se.. agar ese nahi maarenge toh bacche sundhrenge nahi. Harsh reality Similarly, domestic violence between mom dad is bad but maybe necessary? Ok who am I kidding it is wrong. But still more than domestic violence it is the words and the toxicity that hurts.
Yes kids of single parents are prone to mental problems... But here I would like to say something... When I was young my father use to beat and abuse my mother... He never even touched me Or shouted on me....he loves me... He is a great father.... But terrible husband.... Even though I love him as father... But all that images are still living in my head... I'm dealing with anxiety....extreme disbelief on any such love relation... Trust issues...anger issues...i just don't want to get married ever.... Soooooo these are the things that kids who are growing in an house of toxic relationship use to face.....
@Shivam Tiwari yess... Even I had never faced any physical abuse or verbal abuse from my parents side...neither from someone else... But whenever I hear people talking in an loud tone.. Or coming close to me... I panic.....anxiety are on another level.... These things are very hard to handle.... And control ... No matter how much time will pass
But being in an unhappy household is also not good for children. It is better to have two happy parents than two unhappy parents living in the same house
Let me tell you, my parents decided to part their ways after 27 years of marriage. Was that a happy marriage? No, not at all. My father had trust issues and self worth issues which impacted on my mom negatively. He never trusted my mom around other men, while I know how hard my mom tried to make him understand that she wasn't doing anything wrong. It impacted my mental health so much that once they were in an argument and I suddenly got fits out of nowhere. Now it doesn't mean that I'm weak, it's just that I've had enough for a 15 year old (I'm 23 now). Relatives said, it's time to get your girl married and now you're talking about breaking your own marriage? Well, I luckily have a wonderful boyfriend with a very understanding and healthy family and they understand everything that we've been through. Sometimes, honestly the best thing you can do is walk away. I pity my mom so much, she never knew what a healthy marriage and a loving husband meant. Even after all this, I sincerely hope she finds a man who truly loves her before she dies.
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love letter padhne ki umr mei newsletter padhna pad raha hai.. 🥲
Make detailed analysis video on lovve jjihad
Sir please ek video school love per ki school love hona sahi hai ya galat
Make a episode on childfree movement in India
There is a saying: "A divorced daughter is better than a dead daughter". Now, it can apply to both genders.
A divorced son is a poor or possibly dead son. Thanks to the legal system of India
Many parents in India think the other way. It is better to have a dead daughter than a divorced one.
@@lonelyboy4033 dowry dowry
I would never understand why other people care so much about whos divorcing who like just because you're stuck in an unhappy marriage doesn't mean everyone else want to.
Marraiges are more than that in india , it's a pact between man and woman till the eternity. And a lot of pride is staked on the marraige.
Edit : not justifying anything , just providing a background of the importance of maraiges in india.
Because it's uncommon and that's why it grab people's attention
You are absolutely correct , indian society emphasises too much on the idea of an ideal family . The society expects you to stay in an unhealthy marriage just for the sake of upholding that image
@@Sailed_away so what to if you are in toxic relationship for eg man doing domestic violence with his wife , these quotes are good while being heard real life is unfair and difficult
@@abhishekbijalwan2246 file a court case. Get your husband arrested. And get court to make him pay your alimony for the rest of eternity lol 💀
Divorce is not the problem, divorce is a solution to the problem. No point being stuck in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage if you have already given it everything to make it work, sometimes getting a divorce will be the right thing to do.
I have seen couples who want to get divorced but they are pretending to be happy couple for sake of raising children.
but divorce shouldn't be a hasty decision otherwise it's no good its worse
❤❤❤
@@russtytan8080 Tons of couples. Or, at least one partner in a marriage. But they are bound by this janmon ka bandhan, jo gala ghunta hi rehta hai till they die.
Agar aisa he to 100% divorcehi honge india me, har ghar mai coupls, couplhi nahin rehenge, har gharki kahani!
If marriage is considered to be a partnership for 7 lifetimes in India, then divorce should be a religiously permitted option for those couples who are currently in their 8th lifetime together.
🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
LOL.
Good point
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
I wanted to share my own perspective being the kid(I'm 18 rn) who was stuck in the middle of a divorce that never happened:
For background, both my mother and father are from very well to do families and in no way experienced any sort of hardships growing up
When I was 10 years old, that was the first time when I experienced my father breaking a glass on my mother's head. That one incident was just the start, he used to come drunk at night around 3 am everyday and used to start banging doors asking for somebody to serve him food.
Incidents like these continued till when I was about 14 years old.
One day he came up to my mother and started shouting that if you don't sleep with me right now I am going to jump out of the window and commit suicide.
I clearly remember, this happened a day before the lockdown when my mom asked my nanu what she should do, and he surprisingly told her to pack all of our stuff and come to his place.
for context, mom had told my nanu that she wanted a divorce, long before all of these incidents happened, but her whole family just shamed her and told her to deal with it on her own.
Cases were filed, with no outcome, my dad had contacts with politicians and with the help of the very convenient corruption at play in our country, no one ever showed up in the courtroom, the dates kept on extending and the case is still stuck with my dad not paying anything for our education or living.
For the first few years life was harsh, nanu rented us a place nearby and we stayed there, but because of the lockdown his business went downhill, company was stuck in a debt trap
Now 4 years later, with my college about to start, I have no sort of financial security as to how we would even survive the next few years, and my dad is living a life of luxury without showing a care in the world.
edit: The only reason we have managed to survive so far is because of the generous help by very close friends and families, especially my mother's sister, otherwise we would be on the road right now with nowhere to go.
My younger brother is turning out to be exactly like mohak said, with anger issues, he can barely study, he has a habit of compulsively lying and stealing things.
Update july 6th 2024:
-Got into delhi University
-Earned my first gig from freelancing
-Started a youtube channel to inspire others.
Far from where i wish to be.
Still struggling mentally.
Happy but not satisfied.
I am really sorry for what you have had to go through. Praying for things to get easier for you🙏🏼
More power to you and your mother... life is very hard sometimes u know..😔😔
Oh my... My heart goes out to you and all the children and animals who have been victims... A massive collective hug
It's very painful 😖😣 may I know what you are thinking to do ahead
It’s a heartbreaking situation. I am sorry that u and ur brother are paying the price for ur parents situation. If u don’t mind me asking- what did u learn from ur parents position?
Divorce is not a problem, it is a solution.
its a biggest problem
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r I dunno man, i don't want my sister to be trapped in an abusive and love-less marriage. I care more about my love ones than what society and abhay kumar says
Didnt you see this video lol@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r
@@MRUNIVERSE111-k1r Avarage Indian men ☕ ,, put all blame on women, it's not a new thing ,and it's not like we care about you all anymore.....
....Keep shouting
Divorce is the way to get rich quick for women.
My mom is a lecturer with a PhD. My dad is an officer in education department. I definitely feel my mom deserves better for not expecting anything from my dad even after 20 years of their marriage and taking great care of his family even when her own mother was on ventilator. She didn't hesitate a bit when she had to change my aunt's diapers who was fighting cancer. She never bought gold for herself or me. We never went on trips like any other family. We were not at all like a family. My father on the other hand wasn't someone we all saw. When my mom was pregnant with my elder brother, she was really depressed because of my father's behaviour. She was writing a death note after seeing which my dad said "if you die after writing 'my' name as the reason for your death, and if I'm put behind the bars, who's gonna take care of my big brother's kids?"
My mom literally filed divorce after this but due to pressure from our so called family and society,she had to take it back. Few months ago my parents had a big fight. Now they're not talking to each other. My mom told me to finish my 12th (I'm in 12th now) and live in a hostel for my graduation because she'll be applying for transfer after their divorce next year. She even asked my big brother to stay in hostel (he's in 2nd year mbbs). Holding onto something hurts more than letting it go. Self respect must be the first thing to think about. I love both of my parents, but I respect my mother more than my dad.
@thezoldics7648 mental abuse is definitely worse than the physical one. Both of my parents aren't clearly happy. They're not even a newly married couple, they've been married for 20 years. As the youngest in my family, I definitely don't want my parents to be like this. Their peace and my mother's self respect are more important to me than anything else. She tolerated him for 20 years, I definitely don't want her to suffer anymore. Thank you for replying though 🙏
@@theepics3665 more power to your mom and you. Wish you all the peace, happiness and healthy life ahead❤❤❤
@@yomaddy thank you so much❤️❤️❤️ honestly you've such a kind heart
My father's family was also very abusive to my mother.
They told my mom, "You don't need to do any work, you will live like my daughter" but after marriage they said, "You must do all the work, our daughter won't because she is educated and beautiful unlike you".
I suffered from depression due to their toxic behaviour, They forced me to study whole day and banned me from stepping outside the room and play with my friends. Without physical activities, I got depressed due to lack of healthy chemicals in brain which is released during playing or exercising.
I sent this message in another thread.
@@playmobilegamescodm How's it going on now??
I don't give a f**k about what anybody says..but I really want my parents to get a divorce. Their toxic behaviour towards one another had a great impact on me and my sister and now we both fear marriages.
Yup bro . Only solution you have in this situation is to get financially independent as soon as possible . And ya I agree with you that we should not blame a divorced person . In fact we should treat him as a normal person .
Same here.
I'm not able to have any healthy relationship now due to the imprints their fights left in my mind
Same here..
Same here. Plus, one of them was extremely abusive to me. I am so glad that parent didn't fight for my custody or I would be dead by now.
Convince ur parents dear
Being an only daughter of divorced parents I totally agree with Mohak... I am an adult now but still suffering from insecurity, fear of relationships, childhood trauma etc because of my parent's divorce. My father was very abusive and my maa raised me by herself only. It is the child who suffers the most mentally for whole life💔 but atleast I am happy that now me and maa are happy and at a peaceful environment.
For real. I still have ptsd 🥲
Something that already happened is irreversible. But what you can do for your better future is heal from those insecurities , fear of relationships , specifically from your childhood traumas . Only after healing , start dating .
Its better to be late in marrying the right one than to marry early with the wrong one .
More love & strength to you.❤
You need me.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@thewalker338 What is wrong with you man.lossing verginity does not means she is not good person. It depends on someone personal choice .why are you taking only about girls ? Whay about boys ? Are all of them vergin before marrige ?
I’m going through a divorce myself right now. Filing next month. It’s all so relatable. My mother is trying desperately to keep me in the unhappy marriage. I feel so cornered and isolated.
Thank you for discussing the issue.
Sending you lots of love ❤️ ❤️❤️
Han bhai aur ek baat batana kya society bhi tumko pareshan kar rahi hai (asking not to get divorced)?
Bhai india me prenaptial agreement hona chahiye shaadi se pehle
muuu mmu mmuu shiva 😂😂
@@sharunps4356 😂😂😂😂 us video ko dekhne ke baad jo tumne socha vahi maine bhi socha😅
My chachi is in a loveless marriage since 23 years...and my cousin got divorced after 3 years of marriage , our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years .....I feel so upset about these two woman in my family ....I really have no idea why it's so difficult for the family members to accept them as they are and support them😢
Ask your cousin to remarry everything will fall in place. They simply want people to stay married that's it. Marriage is an assurance that there is someone available for you always.
@@prajakt0789 yes I do understand that and she's looking for a partner too but it's just that the behaviour of family members towards her was just disgusting
@@prajakt0789 this should not be a solution. the family and society should change and accept divorce normally.
"our family is so mean to my cousin because she chose herself over a idiot man but respects and literally celebrates my chachi's courage because she's surviving in this since many years" ...because miserable people love to see others miserable as well.
Definitely shaadi ek pavitra bandhan hai but agar wo pavitra hi na ho to shaadi ka na hona hi better hai 🙂
Koi bhi cheez apne aap me pabitra ya apavitra nahi hoti. Par usko karne ka reason use pavitra banata hai.
my parents got divorced when i was 5 years old. living through the experience, i am glad that they did. it is so much better than to have an unhappy home where they are always shouting and fighting.
Cool but in that case you live with someone else like any relative or someone, and that person is abuse you mentally and physically. The same word you can use that time.
Do you know what parenting means ??
U will realize once you become a parent
@@karthiknarayan6765 what you're trying to say
@@karthiknarayan6765 ?
@@abrajitota3618 what
People have to understand that everytime relationship cannot work. So it's better to be separate than to be in an unwanted relationship which may be the reason for further problems like affairs or abuse in future. Which can cause the wrong impact on the children (if they have).
Well said bro
Bro it's actually very simple , hear me out why relationships doesn't work.
1.There is no physical attraction to make the relationship going. There might be exceptions where this is not needed but the truth is it matters. Otherwise why would people want to good look.
2. The man or women abuses their partner because they think they are better than them and can order them around. This happened in the previous generations and before.
3. Genuinely there is no emotional contribution from either party causing the relationship to break.
As long as you are attractive and emotionally sane may be financially independent and get a decent partner , I can't see why the relationship wouldn't work.
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
@@pranaya2800 Yea you are right. But I think the constant fightings between parents affect the children more than the divorce do.
@@msbrave4107 log to fir ek dusre se man bhar gya isliye bhi divorce le lenge. fights can still be solved. divorce leke bacho ki zindagi kyu kharab karni hai?
I was in an unhappy marriage for 14 years. Got divorced some 5 years back, got two wonderful kids with me. I was just a housewife while I was married. After my divorced got a job and started studying. Completed my LLB topped university and pursing LLM. After all this I still have a cordial relationship with my ex and in laws. The reason I want to share this is because if you decide to go for divorce to change your life then it will definitely change your life. I never thought I will be able to achieve this much respect in my career. Right now I give free legal advice to people going for divorce.
Question mark on husband's future ..as he has not been allowed kids with him.
Who wil take care of him in his old age? What solution did the court gave for this problem?
@@rahuljagarwal153
I don't know why courts are so much biased towards women what about man is he not human women gets support from society and relatives but no one supports men and he suffers from loneliness get's mentally and financially broken why children were not allowed to stay with their father as they equally deserve to stay and love their childrens without husband how wife can procreate children women and man are equally designed by nature to procreate new offsprings
@@gzzhytihubgithabibhub this is western leftich ideology which is based on upabhog & destroys family structure. Old age homes r increasing, parents r sent to old age homes only after the son gets married & not before that. SO we know who is problematic. But still we haven't seen courts taking interest in this & in welfare & care of old aged parents. Now if laws r made to protect old aged parents then this wil help create joint family structure. But the forces which control leftich ideology want more nuclear families ..hence men r targets. So Family destruction is a key to it. Dekh ke to aisa hi lagta hai.
but deep down u r still alone
@@rahuljagarwal153 also ask her how much alimony she got ?
If the legal system is not asking any intrusive questions when two people decide to get married, they should not be so invasive when it comes to their divorce too. 🤷♀️
Preach!!!
Yaa... Phuppi bi wale questions they would ask in a family court.
@@adityachauhan3205 cope.
Because Marriage is social affair, where society recognised the union.
And divorce is cheating the society's trust when they recognised the union. It's it's obvious for courts to ask why divorce.
Legal system should not be involved at all in the family matters
10:10 These very similar things happened to my uncle. He is still fighting the case in the court, and due to that he can't even find a job and have to survive on the bare minimum. Thanks to Mohak for bringing this issue which not only affects women but men too. We need to normalize divorce in abusive relationships.
Shuruat aapse kro ya kisi dost ki madad kro, unhe support do.
yeah as much as i support women in domestic violence, i support men in domestic violence too. actually a little bit more, because seriously men might be very few in victim category. but its still way harder for them to come out. but hopefully with Johnny Depp case, men can get more freedom in expression.
but he talked about women like 90% time here
@@divyanshsingh1078.....why men are less victims????why you people always support women???in every hardships there are men who support????? When you get accident on the road and you will lying there like a snake...you gf will not come to save you...there will be MEN❤
@@hitendratiwari1990 You misunderstood his comment. He said "I support men a little more".
What are you arguing about
Divorce is better than staying in an abusive marriage
Our society needs to be aware themselves and our legal system also needs to be updated also need to accept the divorces
Lawyers and judges are used to milking divorces.
They are not adjusting towards increasing throughput and sales. They are just milking legacy customers.
The divorce lawyer industry is not willing to scale up and expand their market even if the demand is obviously there, thanks to thoughtless arranged marriages by hyper enthusiastic peer pressured Indian parents haunted by "char log kya kahenge".
But Bhai tere opinion ki zarurat nahi thi kisi ko
@@nikhiltirmare4654 Thanks but yeh option ki bhi kya zaroorat
@@UA-cam_user_2020 arre bas mazak tha zyada seriously mat lena but accha tha tumhara comment 🫂
Shri man kya kisi ne apko yeh nhi sikhaya ki har chiz ka ek time aur jagah hoti h@@nikhiltirmare4654
I feel Divorce is an individual choice and legal system should not be an obstacle in that journey. Its great if problems between couples are sorted out with time. But if there isn't a way out of this mess then divorce is the only solution and it shouldn't be stigmatized.
i 100% agree with you
I wish someone sued the legal system over this
@@Dwitiya_Nasti_OM muslims already do that so no problem
@द्वितीय नास्ती (ओ३म्) Sources, now
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
We indians think about kids parenting. Because after divorce it affects the life of children.
The real cowards are people who choose to stay in toxic marriages, not the ones who seek divorce from a mentally/physically abusive union. Thank you Mohak for this well-researched commentary video, I hope this reaches more and more Indians!
Cowards? Had you been in that situation you might do the same. Their circumstances, background, up bringing, knowledge, finances, support system, personal beliefs and value systems are way diff than yours. Refrain from judging others with the same lens. Very poor assessment and choice of words on your behalf.
@@ohgauch My opinion is a very subjective one because it's based on real-life experience pertaining to my family. And hence my so-called judgment is targeted only to people who might be in a similar boat so whoever shall relate will agree with me. I obviously come from a fairly privileged background and yet am privy to many toxic marriages in my circle that could've been done away with had both parties been more mature and headstrong. I never said that my opinion is the gospel truth and hence whoever reads it is free to agree to it or not. And trust me, I concur that every couple has to handle and balance its own personalized baggage of internal/external factors like you mentioned. So kindly refrain from generalizing what strangers on the internet have to say without knowing their entire backstory. Thank you!
@@curiouslyunruffled 👍
Cowards? Please think twice before speaking as it is a very sensitive issue.
I'm 19 year old, and my parents divorced when I was 10. Half my life was taken away from me.
So maybe they are happy in their own life, but they destroyed mine in the process
@@uncannyroaches5933 learn to live on your own, I grew up with single mom too yet il be the only one to get us UNSC seat.
Live on your own as nobody owes you anything, parents need to be happy too & they will be happy when away from each other
My parents got divorced when i was 9 my dad was abusive to my mother and me. My dad married my mom because she was from a rich family and after marriage he was demanding more and more money from my mom and her parents. When she refused he would beat her. Finally after they got divorced my father forcefully took me to live with him because the house and land belonged to my mom for 5 years i constanty suffered from his abuses then my mom filed for my custody and i was let to go with my mom. Its been 6 years now living with my mom my college is about to start but like mohak said i never had depression or any sorts of those things happen to me infact i was happy that i was seperated from dad. My dad married again and now has a kid he never paid for child support we never asked him to do so my mom is a nurse and i deliver newspapers at morning since i was 16 during vactions i would even for catering jobs. The only downside is i hide this from everyone i know i have quite a lot of friends when they ask me about my dad i would have to make some lies about it.
Same
Its great that you opened up here! More power to you!!
We're human we do make mistakes, I don't know why people don't understand it. In my friend neighbors house there was a girl who run away at the day of her marriage because she don't wanted to get married with that guy. The exact reasons behind her decision remain unknown to me. However, since that incident, no man has ever chosen to marry her. She has faced constant rejection. Even her own family did not offer support, resulting in daily conflicts within their household. At last she got married at the age of 36 as second wife. She endured a 12-year wait before finding a partner to marry. In my perspective, it seemed like society's way of punishing her. But why? Simply because she refused to spend her life with the person they had chosen for her. Indian society really sucks
@io mn and ex hindus are waiting for you cause sanatan promotes 7 janmo ka pseudoscience which ruined the life of widows and tonn of girl in name of sita
Ghar me aurat peette rhe Or sath janmo ka rishta chale lol
Lol bro islam completely condemn the forceful marriage of girls
There are ton of hadith where without consent marriage of women being broken and they married to there choice husband
@@iomn😂😂
@io mn try harder😂
@io mn lol😂😂
More than 70 percent marriages I know including mine would have been broken if people were open to divorce 😢
Power to you maam
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's more... it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
70 percent that means the majority of the population is not matured enough to be considered qualified to enter in the institute of marriage
I Hear People Saying Divorce is Not Good But Yet Divorce is Better Than Living With a Wrong Partner..
Even after a financial independence many just choose to stay.... Not in the culture but it's all about "log kya kahenge".... Sigh ...such a saddening thing...
Log kya kahenge has a lot more value than people give it credit for. Social shame and praise for various things affects the life of you and your children, and making the world your enemy is neither a brave thing nor a right thing to do. Its simply foolish. Maybe check out negatives of divorces and society before saying its wrong, its not. America is perfect example, with over 50% divorce, no guy wants to marry and no woman is ever satisfied and more than 1/3 children come from single parent household and tend to do bad in everything in life. This is just the tip of the ice berg.
@@Ezra-wy7ux I think that's a separate issue all together... But then abuse, bad mental health of parents has a great effect on the child as such and hence laws framed should try to consider these as well I think
Women are not safe in public spaces, but that does not mean that they are safe in their private spaces. Various cases of domestic violence are reported. Cases of domestic violence such as marital rape, dowry deaths, mental torture, bride burning, and female infanticide are reported daily
Yes this is sad but do you know our Indian society doesn't even see that a wife abusing his husband or beating his husband as a domestic violence for example you can her from any man "yaar agar mai yeh karunga toh biwi bohot maregi" And you'll have normal reaction but when a women says that "agar aaj yeh nahi kiya toh mera pati bohot marega" You'll have a completely different reaction, how normalized it is 💀
@@Proteinrichyash true feminist
Kaha milti hai tum jaisi ldkiya Samriddhi 🙇🏻♂️
Divorce should be taken only if spouse is physically or mentally abusive person and not for trivial reasons like it happens in the western countries.
Its always joked that if a man is beaten by wife which is so wrong!
It is shamed or ignored when a wife is beaten by man
Abuse is abuse it doesnt see gender it's the indian mentality that makes it disturbing
Both gender shall not beat each other to make understand seperate or get divorce you are just adding sins to your pathetic life
@@rishiraul ❤😅
I don't even understand why divorce itself is a big legal matter, just some paperwork and the couple are free to separate.
Meet a lawyer ....mutual separation is easiest way for divorce
@Hersheyyy And I object to them, it they want to separate just let it happen, why such a hassle even legally?
Well we are not in an animistic society so marriage is not just paper work....
It is not so easy, if it was so easy more than marraige halls divorce lawyers would have been more easy
@@PROOB-xq2rq Yes but they should do that before having kids
Divorce is best thing about women freedom. Its a gift.
Alimony...
@@spiderman-mk3ww dowry....
Man also
@@spiderman-mk3ww Dowry is a gift even if he is divorced or not LOL
Divorce Is A Blessing If... Your Partner Is Not Happy With U... At Least...Live Your Life With Peace... 😌
Thanks Mohak! Your video really resonated with me. I'm going through a mutual divorce right now, and it's been really tough. I know that sometimes people fall out of love, and that a marriage can become toxic. It's better to be separated than to suffer in a relationship that is no longer working.
But the hardest part for me has been the social prejudice against divorcees. I'm ashamed to say that I'm a divorcee, even though I did nothing wrong.
Your video reminded me that I'm not alone. There are many people who have gone through what I'm going through, and they have come out the other side. I'm determined to rebuild my life, and I know that I will be stronger for it.
Thank you again for your video. It has given me hope.
More power to you bhaai.
What's your age sis?
Kyu divorce le rahi hain aap?
People think low divorce rates are good, they're not. It only means more people are stuck in abusive and unhappy marriages
Biggest issue with marriage is - you expect your partner to meet your needs (besides sex), while your partner expects similarly from you.
Since their needs never end but your patience ends at some point, you can't actually ever complete your partners' needs.
The word is "wants". Needs are universally accepted. Wants are individual and endless. Sorry for being pedantic.
@@anandsharma7430 You are punctilious
the biggest reason ppl want to divorce is abuse dude
It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
Thank You for covering this topic. My dad lost his sister to suicide because of her abusive husband. It caused a rift between him and his sister's husband. They use to be close to each other, especially his sister's husband but then after her death my dad hated him. The person who had the worst affect from her suicide was her son. My dad went to his wedding since very few people showed up and that marriage was only able to happen with the help of few of the relatives that they were in contact with, otherwise it was inpossible. Infact in his reception, only 5% showed up.
I remember back in 2007 or 08, this rumour somewhat spread internally spread in my school among my classmates that my parents are divorced.
The possible reason for this rumour could be that my Dad used to be the only parent who used to visit the school and collect (my) books during the summer break as I used to be on summer vacation mode with mom at her hometown. The other reasoning for this is also that, even during PTMs, my Dad used to be the only parent who would visit the school as the school was already 25-30kms from my school somewhere in the outskirts and this couldn't have made possible for my mom to visit alone. So, my Dad used to take a day off and visit school for PTM.
It was a couple of years later, when I left the school and I happened to have a girlfriend on social media (was 14-15 at that time), who was never in my school but happened to be a friend of my schoolmate, and one day, while chatting, she told me, "your parents are divorced, I've heard it from your friends".
I was kinda shocked to read this text as this was the first time I read this about my parents. Even though so far in my comment, I may appear very supportive of my mom, but, unfortunately, my mom has a mental health issue, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2015. She was having mental health issues since early or mid 2007 and had started making our home environment a livng hell. My Dad, someone who used to step out of the house, for his job, to make the ends meet, and being a 5th or 6th std school-going kid, it was difficult to interpret and ohsere the changes in one of the parents. To this day, this has been going on at some capacity and there was this one situation when back in 2010, as a 8th std kid, my Dad after having a verbal fight with mom, told me that "the only reason why I'm bearing with her is because of you, otherwise when you were a small kid, my parents and relatives had told me to leave her and remarry. But I didn't want to remarry and make your life a living hell" (which obviously has been despite having a mom who gave birth to me). So, he was somewhat trying to blame me at that point. I've a younger sibling who's almost 9 years younger than me and it was after her birth, I was able to witness and become aware of the changes in my mom's behaviour which takes me back to the 2007 days. The relatives on my mom's side, in later years, said that "your mom's the sharpest kid of mine / sharpest sibling of ours, and it's only after yout sister's birth, she has become like this". For few years, I used to think like this and didn't use to have a good sibling relationship with my sis. Over the years, we became very good to each other, and I appreciate her existence in my life and I often quote her as the Doraemon to my version of Nobita.
To this day, at the age of 55, my Dad has been taking care of our home and not letting us, both the siblings feel the void of a mom, and trying to give us the best life he can, cooking the best of the best food and taking care of us more than we can even expect. I'm glad to have atleast one parent who is able to operate so well as fully grown adult, otherwise seeing myself as a 26 year old man, with some minor issues, I've been functioning like how an adult should be, but due to my alcohol addictions which I developed since November 2022 due to some issues, I don't think that I can become a good and responsible parent and set an example. Before alcohol, cigarettes used to my go-to stress killer because I didn't know other stuff rather than trying to accept the healthier path and improve myself for the long run, I've been "depending" on substances and wasting my Dad's money and efforts. I hope very soon i give up these habits and stop sounding like someone who can't quit these and needs them on a regular basis.
Sorry for few of the grammatical and spelling mistakes. While writing I didn't notice but after re-reading, I found many grammatical mistakes.
Didn't expect this, but thank you so much for coming across and giving it a heart, @Soch bhai.
What happened to your mom then?
@@gamingcircus2637 she's still there with us physically, but not mentally.
She's in her own world.
@@prize5ighter you mean she lost her consciousness or she went into comma?
@@gamingcircus2637 no not like that. What I meant to say is she stays with us only, but due to her mental health, she always remains away from us within the bedroom which my parents share and she interacts with us very rarely.
Physically she's all fine, but mentally she isn't. I don't know or can explain that whether she has forgotten how to interact with people or she prefers to stay alone that too from us only. Because of her illness, she thinks that we 3 - my Dad, my sis and I are harmful for her and could potentially harm her.
" I am single " I am am happy that I am independent.
I can live my life differently unlike others.
I can work for my passion rather than giving up.
👍
Virgin ladki chahiye, Second hand ko to divorce dena hi hoga
@@thewalker338 yeah
@@thewalker338I hope this is sarcastic humour.
@@Lalalqnd nope, he is scammer copy pasting it in almost every reply and it's quite pathetic honestly
Great work! This clearly shows what a bad marriage can do to a person, how openness to this can help at various social issues. Small step towards happy society. Peak point was the insight of mental health of single mother.
Don't marry. One life
When the country's respected PM is a divorcee, divorce should not be a big issue anymore.
my mom is divorced but she dosent care what other people think about
More power to your mom.
Divorce = Freedom 👍
@@mogleesh-22 I see my BlackPilled brother everywhere
I feel happy reading this comment section. We guys specially this generation has evolved and learned so much and still open to learn....i assume and have a feeling most of us are open to transformation❤
Love ❤U Meri Charu
@thezoldics7648 Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
No most people of this generation are also same I completed my 12th this year we had a chemistry teacher who was a divorcee and students used to make fun about her and they even made a rumour that she is having an affair with our principal because she was seen in a restaurant with her although her parents are supportive
@thezoldics7648Divorced women aren't stupid that they'll just let someone use and throw them. This is just fear mongering.
Divorce...teen saal se aadmi hone ki saja bhugat raha hu...jhuthe case...jhuthi FIRs...abusive allegations...ek vakil chand paiso ke liye kitna gir jata hai...meri haazar koshishe sab theek karne ki...uski hazaar hasrate mujhe barbaad karne ki...
Kaash ye sab hota hi nahi...
Did you marry in haste? Reasons for divorce?
@@prajakt0789 Married after taking time , her brother, sister-in-law, and other relatives are also on my side. Only my wife and her mother are not happy with the marriage. From the very first day of marriage, my wife had started fighting, I was also shocked to see her changed behaviour. She left the house only after a year of marriage. She left house saying just for a day, after that she never came back.
Divorce becomes necessary in case of domestic violence or infedility..however when people say the marriage is taking a toll on their mental health.. doesn't everything in life?..How many things will we run away from?..we just need to communicate better and try and solve the issues..
Truth.
But when that communication also fails to solve the problems, divorce becomes a necessity.
Sometimes inlaws are also the reason for arguements between husband and wife
It's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
This is what I was wondering, people say if they're not happy in marriage they should leave
Like who'll define happy? A person may not be happy even after having everything they wanted to, on top of that you'll punish an innocent side (mostly men are at the receiving end by being financially responsible)
I feel adultery, DV and some heinous crimes should be a reason for divorce at any moment in marriage whereas every other reason should become invalid once you have kids involved
My father and mother always fighting with each other. And they don't love eachother but both are living together because of society pressure but I think that It is better to take divorce. 😢
Now I'm 17 year old and my mother face soo many opperations from my father. Also she doing hardwork and earning money.
Apart from this she also mannage every money related issue in my home.
This is one of many reasons I advocate living in together before anything. Which is still seen as something too unrealistic for India.
by far the best and most practical thing to do.. live together for at least 2 years before you marry each other.. if you survive that, and still want to marry each other, then go ahead and do it.. but most people dont understand that they're making their decisions based on a feeling of romantic connection which might turn into the biggest trauma of their life..
Exactly, live in should be encouraged more. It's good know your partner before in marriage. It lowers the chances of divorce. And leads to happy marriage.
बॉयफ्रेंड/गर्लफ्रेंड होना और उनसे शादी करना ये बात तो आम हो चुकी है, पर मेरी माने तो शादी से पहले इस तरह से बिल्कुल भी 24 घंटों साथ नहीं रहना चाहिए.. इससे केवल निराशा ही हाथ लगती है. आजकल प्रेमी/प्रेमिकाएँ एक दुसरे के साथ बिना एक छत के नीचे रहे भी बेहद कुछ कर लेते है, तो ऐसे समय मे शादी होने तक संयम रखने से वैवाहिक जीवन सुखकर बिताया जा सकता है
Or maybe we should live in forever.
@@abhinandannuli7574 This💯
Divorce is better than Marriage ... The main reason of Divorce is Marriage ....
🙄
তুমি তোমার বাপ মায়ের বিয়ের আগেই জন্মেছ নাকি ? 😂😂
i have only seen 2 divorces in my life and don't want to see more divorce
Divorces will start downfall of Indian society and family system
Instead of encouraging divorces we should work on making people's behavior and habits change
How would u change people dear???
The downfall started long ago when staying in a loveless violent marriage became the norm instead of letting both parties go their separate ways and live in peace.
I have also talked with someone about solution for this problem ( she was also facing problems in her marriage) . Her very first response was : financial freedom is the most important. So yes financial freedom is a very a good point said in this video.
My mom never get devorced because of the "Devorcee tag", now after almost 30 years she wants to live separately, she's severely depressed, I only saw the harmony of our house based on her sacrifice which is not good. I wish I could help her.
So you should not marry. You have to face same consequences like your mother
It’s sad! But many women live like this, including my aunts. One was married to an alcoholic, one to a dowry-beggar.
@@trueword4971that’s not a solution to the problem. Their mom needs support group to help her be strong in taking the choice of divorce. After years of living unhappily, she probably needs that mental assurance that people won’t blame her.
Divorce is healthy and life saving
I got married in 2012 . Separated after one year. Divorced in 2017. It was a force marriage , i wanted to commit suicide it lead to depression, anxiety and OCD right after my marriage. I used to be a carefree girl. Now suffering from OCD since 2012. Divorce hone k wajah se dubara shadi to nhi hui. But i m happy ki toxic relationship me nhi hu. Divorce lena easy to nhi tha but now my father understands my situation.
One message to all my brothers and sisters and to my all elders with due respect, that one must ensure with 100 % time and efforts that with whom you wanted to marry and be in relationship.
Divorce is better than abusive relationship for life
Ok...my story... being financially independent doesn't allow people to divorce as well..
My mom started earning before my father (it was an arrange marriage and my mom belong to a poor family but she studied). I was 2 months old and she earned 6k per month and I got pneumonia...when I was just 2 months old. And at that time my dad was studying as well, so she handled it all plus we lived in rented house (for the family disowned because my ma wanted to earn). She handled it all and my dad then got a job and we started living a decent life (even tho I remember nothing for I help up or came to my senses when everything was ok..I mean financially). But ...after that once I was 8, my Dad was at home and my mom was cooking and she added spices a lil more...and my dad started arguing. I don't exactly remember what happened apart from me sobbing. Then he said he is leaving us so my mom hid the keys. He asked her for keys anr my mom refused so HE GRAB HER HAIR AND THREW HER HEAD NEAR A BUCKET AND HER HEAD HIT THE WALL. I WAS traumatized.
But things didn't end here, he wanted her to leave job but she knew my dad will just spend all money on alcohol and his brothers and my cousins (they were and still are more dear to him:). She even handled the expenses of my grandma surgery of eye and tuberculosis. Then also my grandma (who disowned us :) ) kept saying my dad to beat her. So one day he came drunk...I was 15, he picked up my sandal and beating her on face (sandles had a lil heel)...my mom face started bleeding. I wanted it stop so I came in between...He held my hair and threw me on ground...:-)
...
My grandma said its your personal matter so solve yourself..
I told her to file a divorce but instead she scolded me saying "Samaaz kya kahega"...."aisa nahi bolte... chizon ko fix karna chahiye"....
:-):-):,-):,-)
🫂girl
Divorce should be normal ONLY and ONLY if there is mental/phusical harassment.Nowadays, many divorces are just like " we are not compatible".but how and why?? Couple doesnt have any answer to that...and there should be strict laws for money after divorce.A girl or boy qualifications should be judged for a job , whether they have kid or not...
Correct. 3 of my friends got divorced last year. These cases are increasing really really fast.
dude if people don t love each other anymore then that s a big enough reason to divorce. Plus if someone s partner cheats on them that s a valid reason for divorce too. Think before commenting
Ok uncleji... It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
@@shreyakumari-g9z yes, right.But in urban areas, my point is still valid.If the couple's don't love each other, then after divorce, why there is a greed for alimony..even if they don't have kids?? My only point is Divorce is a positive thing but there is also a very dark side of it.(for both men and women)
I just get worried for children who grow up in a broken family…
Screw it I'm not getting married, I'll be flying solo.
Man salute to you for just taking topics that many many people are either ignorant or wanting to vent out in frustration..
While divorce is still a taboo in India atleast people are changing their mindset slowly but in foreign countries it is much worse, most divorce happen because of money, adultery or lack of interest which is bad, people don't even try to save their marriages so we don't have to learn from them but learn the right way. Divorce should only be used as a last option either with the consent of both the parties or in case of domestic abuse regardless of gender
Thanks, Mohak, for a wonderful video.
I have been living separated for the last 3 years, and last Tuesday, we both filled divorce on a mutual ground. In my case, my parents and my partner both were against me. For more than a year, I have been mentally harassed by my parents and partner. My father even told me that he would put me in a jail if I ever thought something like this. My parents & partner even told my friends not to talk with me and put me in an isolated condition where I have no other way to go.
I'm not sure why, but after watching your video, I felt like that I should share my experience here.
Once again, thanks for the great content 👍
Sorry for what you are going through. Hope things get better
Sh!t man life is hard. And woman making life harder.
Then how you agreed your partner for mutual consent divorce ?
My parents are separate without divorce.
Let me briefly list 13 REASONS WHY divorce is a nightmare
1. Kid dilemma
2. Child trauma
3. Legal proceedings (time and money)
4. Monetary settlements
5. Split of assets
6. Hatred for divorce councelling
7. Family pressure to let things be
8. External relationships and normalcy
9. Mental strain on all parties
10. Documentation nightmares
11. Law is a rather poor judge for parental competency and divorce suitability.
12. Abuse
13. Taboo
Law is not a poor judge for parental competency considering in India women are the only parent staying with the child a lot. It is very clear that majority of the fathers in India can clearly only take on the financial responsibility of the child. If society changes going forward then law needs to consider other things as well but for now clearly even working women take the children's responsibility.
The truth is people get bored of their partner, cheat on them and blame toxic relationship, domestic abuse for separation. Its all an excuse
@@razkarki047 please do not generalise such shit without understanding others pain. There are genuine cases of domestic abuse such as me and my mom's and it's a lot more common than u might think
@@aj_z4168 ok, rare one
@@lavie7358
That's a False perception
*Marriage + Wisdom + Education + Freedom to divorce = Healthy Balance for Society*
Schools should teach kids how to recognize their own priorities around characteristics of an ideal life partner and how to deeply engage with friends in helping them seek the same.
20-30% is a healthy range for divorce rate striking a good balance between freedom from abusive partners and without having to deal with social stigma vs. adverse impact of divorce on children.
India needs to invest into building *a wiser next generation* so that young people are choosing the right partner to marry decreasing the chance of needing divorce, but also choosing to get divorce in time in order to lead a better life with greater freedom, growth and prosperity than living in depression in an abusive marriage.
Unilateral divorce is the need of the hour, the reason for divorce should be as simple as that a person doesn't love another. Thanks for making a video on this topic.
💯💯💯
Yeah 100% agree, we also need to make men pay double alimony and double child support and men should be put behind bars by default after divorce so that they can't even visit our kids the usual once a year the court allows. We are not getting enough money too, 80% of man's money and his parents house and property should go to the wife after divorce
@@avid459 are you crazy?
Does love exist?😂
@@HyperMusic13 no he is an incel, don't lump crazy people with these non-humans
What a in-Depth research and knowledgeable video it was! Hand off to you Mohak! Thanks for making videos on these sensitive topics!
If a child is taught to be kind and compassionate then I guess society will be better! we ask our kids to study well and to hell with compassion so it is NOT just about divorce but it is about increasing violence in society as well!
It's her choice, Mismatched couple should always think to discontinue their relationship.
I had divorce with my wife last year and I'm happy that we took this decision. Now I hope, she will find her match.
The ultimate truth is that no marriage is perfect and there will be ups and downs and both of the parties must compromise. Divorce are more common in cities. I think that Indian society is great for making a pressure on the couple to stay married in this way most of the couples will compromise, otherwise we might see a situation like USA where people divorce over small matters and the bad effect is passed on to the children who grow up to be unfit individuals with mental health problems and increase the number of dangerous people in the society.
Nope it's mostly men that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃
My mother is a single parent and I am very proud of her . I have her name as my middle name . When ever someone ask me my name I proudly tell my full name .
Hello
As somebody who has gone through a divorce, my experience tells me the family of the girl never wants to accept her back, especially if there is a brother. They see her as a financial liability and a source of embarrassment. It happens a lot even in so called educated families. Relatives also play a big hand in introducing such toxic ideas that makes us women fear even going back even for a short duration, to our parents homes, post divorce.
Secondly, the brothers also feel insecure about the inheritance they might lose due to the presence of their female siblings.. Causing rifts as in my case. Now I have moved out and stay by myself post divorce. Its more peaceful than the toxic societal relationships.
When your brother gets married there will be more issues but atleast you have someone who can help you if you are sick or something. Don’t spoil your relationship with your brother or get married again or adopt a child. I know sounds bad but people need support in life
I completely agree. Make ur self more important best thing u can do
Divorce is not a problem, divorce is a solution to the problem!
@sochbymm One of the best book to understand the influence of family in human society is Sapiens by Hariri. He emphasises the same notion as you have: family is the most important unit in Indian and Chinese society whereas in Europe and US, it is individuals. He gives a nice theory for this, which I feel makes sense. Once again, nicely researched amazing video!
Best to get out of a toxic relationship than to suffer
I have no words to say! You are running the best UA-cam channel in this century. Talking about the most important social issues in India where nobody talks. You are an amazing impactful person to this society and you change the world. Please continue the hard work!
nearly 22.8 lakh crimes against wife were recorded in India.
W 😂
Very sad
Against men no one is even interested to record anything even though 2/3 suicides are of men.
lol xd mai kaise maan lun
@@ludicrousreality0 jese 32k kerla story me hindu mangye
Indian society is a dangerous society if you want to live your life on your own terms
People judge divorcees so harshly and discriminate against them even if their marriage was unhappy. People would rather that people died from sadness in bad marriages than divorce.
Divorce lawyer banja bahut scope aur paisa hai, someone said in our college, though in a joking way but it showed the reality....
I got married before 5 years. My family is well educated and full of talented artists. My mother, sister and grandmother are talented in cooking, dancing, education, socialy and job. My wife is from rich family and she was never given any such learning so she doesn't know all these things. ( we don't care about all these. we never force her to do what we know.)
Yet my wife feels jealous of other leadies of my family. She feels that she isn't perfect match for my family. Me and her keep on arguing for multiple times for last 5 years. She wants divorce just because she can't compete with my family member's talents. Me and her parents have been explaining her that we don't even expect her to compete with other women of my family. we are good with what she is.
She has been telling multiple times that if she was financially independent then she could have left me. She tells that talent of my mother and sister gives her depression.
In this case, I don't have any option other than avoiding her and explaining her. Even her family also agrees with me that my wife is immature.
No offense bro but that's super immature of her..
tell her that if her family is so damn talented then get a job lol
@@shreyakumari-g9z Her family isn't. Her parents agree that she is dumb. Her parents tell that she is my wife now its her home and she will have to adjust according to my family.
@@kageyamatobio7542 , I agree but I have no choice than face and manage it. It has negatively impacted my professional life, that's how it is.
@@maulikkamdar3349 she needs to work on her insecurities so she doesn't get jealous and compare herself with everyone around her. Im sorry you're in this situation, I hope she works on herself more and becomes confident in herself. Good luck.
पूरी जिंदगी रो कर काटने से अच्छा है, तलाक ले कर अपना बाकी जीवन अच्छे से व्यतीत करे।
Best thing a man can do is to remain unmarried and travel the world. 🌍
Woman too 😂
Thank you so much Soch team for shedding light on such topics! I love you and your work!😍🤍
that's why arrange marriages sucks
Love marrages have nuch mkre devorce rate
@@fahadnazir945 because arranged marriages are usually done for the sake of settling down, not out of love so they last longer however, that doesn't make them better whatsoever. My parents had an arranged marriage and they are still married to this day but they never stop fighting and I hate it. I would rather have divorced parents than this and it's not like they are bad parents but they're definitely terrible partners.
@@speedforce8970
But dear in devorce its children who suffers most.
Men usually marry new woman
But women feels too much difficulty in finding new husband as marring devorced women is considered as taboo and if she had children no person is ready to adopt her children as his step children. So most of poor women become prostitutes to feed thir children In societies where there is polyghamy espically pushtun and arab devorced women easily find new mates
@@fahadnazir945better being victims of domestic violence
@@fahadnazir945 and that is a problem. It shouldn't be taboo to get an divorce if the husband and wife are clearly not compatible. I know I would suffer if a divorce happened but that would be temporary and I'll eventually get over it. I have never seen a successful arranged marriage ever but I have seen successful love marriages before which leads me to believe that love marriages are overall better for happier lives but they aren't bulletproof which is why divorce shouldn't be a taboo. Not only would it help people find better partners, it would also result in better parents and in turn better children. I don't want any child to be raised in the same environment I was in.
Why not divorce a person who doesn't want to be with you. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you . What kind of madness is that
@@Discoveknowledge khud puri kro financial need, work hard.. u can't have freedom and live a life of ur choice without paying for it.. and it's all better than bieng with someone who doesn't want to be with u.. I understand if that compromise is for a short time, but to live with it is not worth it..
@@Discoveknowledge obviously I m not gonna give u all my personal details 🤣🤣🤣
Divorce is just a part of life nothing to worried about everyone need to be independent in life
If ur partner is So abusive and Bad then why to Marry First??.. Child suffer the Most in Divorces..
Arrange marriages lmao
This is the damage control. I would like to see a video on " How to choose a right partner (basic calculation ", Prevention is better than cure. If youth is taught to select a right partner, unhappy marriages and divorce rate could come down
Very informative. You highlighted both parts that divorce can be good or bad. It shouldnt be done too easily nor linger several years. Proper therapy needs to be done in advance to prevent divorce n fix marriage. I appreciate you sharing that men are being abused n harassed too and women face loneliness& depression more
Problem with divorce is it just not get finished with husband and wife both side relatives get into it and most of them make fun of it which becomes phobia to people "" aww if we take divorce people will laugh at us "" not only relatives friends get involved even neighbourhood get involved their thinking their talks spoil whole Atmosphere it will be like Rana ranga if anyone announce their divorce😂😂😂
Divorce may be empowering to a few, but it doesn't mean that you don't try to solve or work on the issues of your relationship together as a couple.... Nothing in life's easy and divorce should be considered only as a last resort.
It's better to live like a kion for one day rather than living like a deer for 1000 yrs.
Why should anyone compromise. Life is for once
It's mostly men with no prospects that say this, research shows that married men are happier than unmarried on average whereas its the opposite for women. Most probably because they get free access to sex to accommodate higher testosterone, free housework, admin work, ready made child-rearing, now wives are mostly earning also.. give us a break 😃 also Indian men are mostly physically unattractive with no game so chances of finding another woman are low and so are chances to get all those other things mentioned earlier 😂
I know many men stuck in marriage and facing domestic abuse. Some managed to change it into a good relationship but some just could not do anything about it and are stuck for life in it.
India sabse TOP mai hoga Divorce ke cases mai ager yaha ke 30% couples bhi open up ho jaaye ke they are not happy in the marriage and staying in relationship just for the fcking society's "4 logg kya kahenge" 😂 At least 80% Indians aren't happy in their marriage. At LEAST. Likh ke le lo. ✌️
Not everyone faces domestic violence.
Most of the Indians have sense of Satisfaction with what they have. Unlike others who are always dissatisfied
But at the same point it's better to get divorced than facing domestic violence .
It's not even about domestic violence ig.
Coz bachpan mein mummy papa dono hi bohot maarte hai baccho ko and it's really common and naturally accepted. Maarna as in gussa hone pe thappad, ya fir belan se, ya jhadu se.. agar ese nahi maarenge toh bacche sundhrenge nahi. Harsh reality
Similarly, domestic violence between mom dad is bad but maybe necessary? Ok who am I kidding it is wrong. But still more than domestic violence it is the words and the toxicity that hurts.
Yes kids of single parents are prone to mental problems... But here I would like to say something... When I was young my father use to beat and abuse my mother... He never even touched me Or shouted on me....he loves me... He is a great father.... But terrible husband.... Even though I love him as father... But all that images are still living in my head... I'm dealing with anxiety....extreme disbelief on any such love relation... Trust issues...anger issues...i just don't want to get married ever.... Soooooo these are the things that kids who are growing in an house of toxic relationship use to face.....
@Shivam Tiwari yess... Even I had never faced any physical abuse or verbal abuse from my parents side...neither from someone else... But whenever I hear people talking in an loud tone.. Or coming close to me... I panic.....anxiety are on another level.... These things are very hard to handle.... And control ... No matter how much time will pass
@@NehaSingh-tj8ng I can understand your feeling but in India that’s normal but I like to change that In fact I am with you on this matter
But being in an unhappy household is also not good for children. It is better to have two happy parents than two unhappy parents living in the same house
Most divorces won't happen in the USA if people do not marry the ones they meet at a bar or at high school.
I think it's better to divorce a person you're not in love with rather than stay in a marriage with no love.
My parents would get divorced officially 5 days from today after 23 years of marraige, to be honest its the best for them.
Let me tell you, my parents decided to part their ways after 27 years of marriage. Was that a happy marriage? No, not at all. My father had trust issues and self worth issues which impacted on my mom negatively. He never trusted my mom around other men, while I know how hard my mom tried to make him understand that she wasn't doing anything wrong. It impacted my mental health so much that once they were in an argument and I suddenly got fits out of nowhere. Now it doesn't mean that I'm weak, it's just that I've had enough for a 15 year old (I'm 23 now). Relatives said, it's time to get your girl married and now you're talking about breaking your own marriage? Well, I luckily have a wonderful boyfriend with a very understanding and healthy family and they understand everything that we've been through. Sometimes, honestly the best thing you can do is walk away. I pity my mom so much, she never knew what a healthy marriage and a loving husband meant. Even after all this, I sincerely hope she finds a man who truly loves her before she dies.
Being a Law student, I know our legal system is not perfact for men😮😢
I guess gen doesn't have any problem with divorce they will treat a divorcee as any other person