10 Things NOT to Say to Autistic People | AUTISM IN GIRLS
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- Опубліковано 21 лип 2024
- Hello! My name is Olivia Hops and I'm trying to make this week's video a funny one! I go over 10 things to NOT say to autistic people.
Let me know what silly things people have said to you about Autism below!
While I'm not easily offended by much, saying these 10 things can be really upsetting and hurtful to autistic people of any age, shape, or form. So, think about what you're going to say before you blurt it out!
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----- 10 Things NOT to Say to Autistic People
1. You don't look autistic!
2. You must be really high functioning!
3. I'm so sorry...
4. Stop labeling yourself.
5. Everyone's a little autistic.
6. You must have been misdiagnosed.
7. You're nothing like X who has autism that I know.
8. Were you vaccinated?
9. X can cure that!
10. But you're so pretty and smart and outgoing!
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Thanks for the continued love and support! God Bless you all and see you soon!
#ActuallyAutistic #OliviaHops #FemaleAutismTraits
I'm just finding out I'm autistic at 57 years old. That means everyone who has known me all these years think my condition isn't real because they know "the real me." They can't seem to accept that I've gotten so good at masking that even I am still trying to figure out who I really am, so there's no way they can know.
My condolences, Jane. Autism can manifest in people in different ways, and there's no surefire way to be sure. They can rest assured that you're still the same person you were before your diagnosis, it's just that your brain functions slightly differently than others.
I’m still trying to find out who I am also friend, I was just diagnosed in November, I’m 36. It’s wild to put it lightly, sending you mountains and mountains of love!!!!!!!!!!!
@@BrandiTV Right back at you!
My hope for you Jane is that your life becomes less exhausting, more validating and sufficiently accomodating. I’m sure you are a beautiful person no matter which way your brain is wired and I imagine it would be great for people who care about you, to embrace your discovery with a curious acceptance that is polite, gentle, encouraging and empowering to you. It’s great that you’re watching Ms Olivia for reassurance and support. Best wishes.
@@kelli74 Thank you so much.
When I discovered I was autistic, my whole world opened up and I knew why I reacted differently than others. Also, I love being with groups of other autistic people. Comic-Con attracts a large group of us.
i agree, i absolutely hate when people say; "oh everybody is a little autistic" LIKE NOOOOOOO. i love how i can relate to these things it makes me smile.
I can't imagine *why* someone would say that. I was going to say "think that" first, but who cares what thought pops into someone's mind, I still don't understand why they would say that. 😬 No, everyone is not "a little autistic". It's almost as if people don't understand autism, and think it's nothing more than a collection of "quirks". If that were the case, yes, it's possible everyone would all share at least one common quirk, but that literally isn't what autism is. I certainly hope a medical provider didn't say that to you, though I honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point.
It's hard enough to be misunderstood so often, even by ourselves, and to include by professionals who aren't (or were never) up to date in accurate information regarding autism.
People frequently do the *same* exact thing with ADHD. I've not heard what you said in reference to autism, but someone is sure to comment that on anything about ADHD. I even had a doctor ask me if I ever have "break days" with medication when I don't have to go to work or study things. I wanted to scream back at her that ADHD isn't about staying on task or studying for an assignment. If ADHD were actually that simple, it'd be a lot easier for people who experience it to cope. All of the other things it does combined cause an inability to concentrate on certain things; it isn't a "concentration disorder". Makes me so frustrated and angry.
Our society lacks a severe amount of knowledge on so many things, and it's so disappointing that includes the majority of healthcare professionals.
How can everyone have a little bit of autism? Either you're autistic or you aren't.
@@EMILYHERRERA thank you i needed this
Just recently someone said that to me. Everybody is a little autistic. I dont think so, JUST NO
@@EMILYHERRERA YEP I had someone say everybody has some quirks. It's not a quirk!
Okay, honest question here. Since Autism is a spectrum, how can you tell if you're closer to neurotypical on the spectrum vs. you are neurotypical with some similar traits to autism?
I was diagnosed as autistic about a year ago. I was 60 years old. I declared it to my employer and was fired. I worked for the NHS and feel directionless and incredibly let down.
Not too sure what the future holds, or even if I have a future.
Sorry to unload. Having a tough time.
Thank you for your vids. They’re great.
Im sure there are help resources look on the internet look at local Facebook groups & don't be afraid to ask friends or family for help. You never know the connections people have until you ask! Good luck
@Distant Places....that is so wrong. Having an employee with autism can be wonderful for a company! It means you are more detail-oriented, loyal and see a different angle that other employees might miss! Too bad for them...People just don't understand it! And just diagnosed at 60? How brave you were go and seek a diagnosis...good for you for getting an answer finally. I was diagnosed at 48. Have you thought about starting an etsy shop or do you have services you can sell on fiverr? This might be your chance to be your own boss and maybe they did you a favor. Maybe something better will come out of it! Good luck!
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm in a similar situation: I have not been fired, but it's clear some people I work with think I should quit. I am having to fight SO hard to get my needs met at work. It was hard enough just working without trying to be accommodated for needs very few others have.
If you are seeking appeal for wrongful dismissal, I hope you are successful x
I would definitely look into wrongful dismissal... that situation is so wrong on multiple levels. I'm so sorry this happened to you. :-(
Unload away! It must have taken a lot for you to declare that you are Autistic to your employer - The National Health Service - and you were fired?!
That is a clear case of discrimination on their part and they ought to be pulled over the coals for how they treated you, which is disgusting.
Is this the same NHS that people were made to clap for into the sky during the COVID? Hold up as a Golden Calf?
It was the NHS that made my GP and I jump through a number of firey hoops to fight for a diagnosis, which (thanks be to God) I was eventually assessed and formally diagnosed.
What the NHS has cruelly condemned to the scrap heap will be a welcome gain and a huge asset elsewhere.
You were honest and open with them - which should have been valued and praised.
I wish you Peace and All Good.
Thank you, Miss Hops for educating me on autism. As a teen who is not currently diagnosed, but there is a chance of being autistic, these videos are so helpful in assisting me so that I can learn more about ASD. I am a lot like you. I have a lot of the issues that come with autism, but I can function socially just fine, so these videos are so relatable, whether or not I have autism.
Hey Elisabeth! I'm so honored that my videos could be helpful to you. You are awesome just how you are. Best of luck to you in all you do! If you ever need anything, just reach out. God Bless 💙💙💙
Ik I'm late but I was diagnosed with Autism spectrum disorder today 😕
I just received my official diagnosis 2 days ago!
@@wjcruikshank8725 Congratulations!
@@elisabethopp1 Thank you! I hope everything works out well for you!😊
I have an upcoming evaluation and so far I've gotten "I'm sorry" and "You don't have that." My psychiatrist even asked, "At your age, what good would a diagnosis do?" Super discouraging and invalidating as well as unprofessional imo.
Currently, I'm professionally diagnosed with ADHD and a few other things that may mimic autism but I'd like to know if it's actually autism. Even if it turns out I don't have it, I'm still glad I found channels like yours and accepting communities of autistics.
So sorry you've had to deal with all of that. Don't listen!! I know it's so discouraging, but they're ignorant. You do what makes you feel best and don't listen to anyone who says idiotic stuff like that! You're awesome. Best of luck on your diagnosis journey 💙
@@OliviaHops much appreciated. Those things can be pretty hurtful and discouraging yet I try to move past them which aren't easy. Thank you so much for your kind words!
My first attempt at an ASD assessment was basically 2 hours of being told I can't possibly be autistic. It was crushing the amount of dismissive attitude with which I was treated then. Thankfully I since found a private specialist who behaved professionally towards me ie: not like a power crazed autocrat but with respect and impartiality. I have the diagnosis I need now, and it was very much worth persevering. I hope you can find the right person to help you soon.
@@ladystardust2008 how awful! I find it completely unnecessary for anyone to be so dismissive. Glad you found someone who treated you well. I've actually gotten diagnosed 2 weeks ago today. I went to a private practice and she was very professional and respectful. Congrats on getting answers ⭐
@@OliviaHops Update: two weeks ago today I was diagnosed with ASD. Thank you so much for helping me along and being part of my journey to an ASD diagnosis 💖
"You're not autistic, you're NORMAL!" is one I've got a lot of times. Very annoying and the equivalent of being given an Oscar at the same time. My CATQ score was 151. I have to be alone a lot because keeping up the act is exhausting.
As an ADHD:er, I also get the "everyone is a little ADHD" like NOOOOOOOO
“Oh, you’re just really too hard on yourself” When trying to explain my struggles. 😩
Before I knew everything about autism I definitely thought autism has a look and for a lot it does. I picture someone swaying back and forth and flapping their arms in the air. That is actually part of the stigma behind it, which sucks. I just realized at 36 I have autism, I'm on the tip of the spectrum. My doctor actually told me that she can normally tell if someone has autism do to characteristics like not looking someone in the eyes, not picking up social cues etc. But the thing is, is I do have issues looking people in the eyes but I was trained to look people in the eyes when you talk to them, my parents made me-I'm glad they did. So now it comes 2nd nature with people I like, if it's someone I'm just meeting or I can feel they don't like me that's when it is hard for me. In those instances it feels like I'm naked when I look them in the eyes and can see their soul- is weird.
Wonderful video! I've never been officially diagnosed, but I had a counselor who specialized in working with autistic adults who gave me the "unofficial" test, the one that's available online, and I scored very high on it. Realizing I was autistic took a load off my shoulders. Before that, I thought everything I did that was different than other people was some kind of moral failing: I was being too lazy, too sensitive, too demanding, too self-indulgent. I've spent most of my life in a state of stress so severe that it damaged my health. My frequent meltdowns have ruined many jobs and relationships, most regrettably, my relationship with my son. I'm only now, at age 56, learning to live with these traits instead of trying to stuff them down. I agree with everything you said. I'm not sorry I'm autistic, just sorry I live in a world that doesn't understand us and judges us so harshly.
Which one is the unofficial test?
I love how you made me laugh with your voice over affects and funny facial expressions when mimicking people. 😄
So glad you laughed too because I sure did while editing the video 🤣 Thanks for watching!!
I love this! If I knew I was autistic 20+ yrs ago, my life would have been so different. I was looking through old journals from 15 yrs ago. I was extremely naïve and put myself in dangerous situations one after the other. It was like I was reading another person's life. I'm so glad this information about aspie girls is now available. It could save lives.
Girl, thank you for being the liquid glue that put the pieces of my puzzled life together.
Aww that's adorable! I just found out I was autistic about 2 years ago (at 13), my family can't afford an asessment for me right now but I feel so happy I found myself and can no longer feel like something is wrong with me because I struggle with some things nobody else seems to struggle with. Sending love from Ukraine, Helen aka Rosey
“You couldn’t possibly be autistic-if you were, you would be in a completely different world off in your head and you wouldn’t recognize anything around you.” -my doctor when I went to see him about getting evaluated for autism. He didn’t even ask any questions about it, just immediately shut it down. Apparently he thinks it’s like... extreme schizophrenia? He also said I couldn’t have ADHD because “I’m smart.” Now a year later, I’ve since been diagnosed with both. Oh yeah, he also thought all my ADHD traits would go away if i socialized because it would boost my confidence and make me feel better about myself? And if I got out of my comfort zone and tried socializing, I would find out I actually LOVE it and have a great time. :|
I hope he isnt your doctor anymore
I hope you found a new doctor. Holy crap.
im so sorry that happened to you, i hope you're doing well now.
He's still my doctor because my parents like him. I just have to endure the lectures on socializing when I go, but at least my therapist convinced him of my ADHD diagnosis and got him to prescribe me meds. And thank you, I'm doing better now.
@@35portlandrow Forcing yourself to socialse when aspie and adhd actully makes you much worse tho. If I had known earlier I would be able to tkae better care of my brain and therefor feel much more confident then pushing utso much memory etc gets worse. So take care of your brain.
I was also diagnosed at 24 (last year) and struggle telling people because of their responses - I mask very very well.
The day i was diagnosed was the best day of my life. I left the doctors office and sat in my car and just cried. Swear the world felt lighter and brighter some how.
So amazing to hear, Nicola. It was the best day of my life, too! I never cry but my mom did exactly what you did. And like you said, the world felt lighter!!
"The most important thing to remember is that many autistic people see their autism as a fundamental part of who they are, so it’s important to use positive language. And, if you are referring to a particular person or group, ask them how they would prefer to be described."
(The National Autistic Society)
Thanks for sharing..that’s pretty amazing.
@@faeriesmak
The National Autistic Society has being the leading autism charity in the UK for 60 years now, I find it to be the most supportive charity because it's a combination of all the voices of autistic and nonautistic people involved in an autistic person's life.
I assume you know autistic people are often ignored, this charity speaks out to the public what autistic people ourselves have to say including about identity first language.
The National Autistic Society's website contains advice from both actual autistic people who experience being autistic and professionals who know the scientific side to it. They're very critical of ABA therapy even and demand better options to be researched, if you need or know anyone who needs help understanding autistic people their site is worth checking out.
@@danielmoore4024 Thank you. I will check it out. I am US based, though. There is a lot less support in the US especially for autistic adults.
Thank you so much for this video! I'm not autistic (AFAIK), but my nonverbal daughter is, so I get this, so much, from years of helping her interact with the world.
#5 - This, SO MUCH THIS. No, EVERYONE IS NOT A LITTLE AUTISTIC. Going hand in hand with this are the people who immediately start self-diagnosing in front of you. I get it, they're going for some commonality with my child (which is kinder than accusing them of attention-seeking), but it makes as much sense as saying you're a little bit pregnant. Also, WTF do I look like, a behavioral psychologist? I'm not, thanks, and if I were thinking of it, I wouldn't be interested in starting my career with them, thanks.
#7 - YES. If you've met one autistic person, you've met one autistic person. Period. I honestly cringe every time I see some new show or movie out with autistic characters, because that's another thing I hear, too. "Your daughter's nothing like from ." Well, gee, *your* kid is nothing like from either. What a coincidence!
#8 - The single one on this list that's guaranteed to make me blow up and forget all my manners. NOBODY wants to make that statement to me. EVER. And right there with it are outright accusations that I've caused my child's autism by the decision to get her vaccinations, after which I will show no mercy whatsoever. I take no prisoners when someone starts spouting that ignorant rot.
#10 - We get that a lot with our daughter, who, while nonverbal, is indeed very pretty, friendly and intelligent. It tends to be coupled with the "But she doesn't look autistic!". The problem is that thanks to some very outspoken, ignorant people with agendas of their own that have NOTHING to do with child welfare, when you say a child's autistic, people immediately envision some kind of monster.
I'm going to add a #11 that I never, ever want to hear again:
"She's autistic? And she can't speak? Well, I'll pray for you so God will cure her."
First, if you're religious, then you should believe that everything was created according to God's plan. That means (logically speaking), *my daughter was created exactly the way she was intended to be* . She's not a mistake. She is operating exactly as intended. I don't know if she would choose to be different; I only know that I would never want her to be anything other than the person she is, and her autism is part of her. She is a gift.
Second, I'm not sure which is greater, the utter ignorance of that statement, or the utter arrogance of that statement.
Look, if someone's going to pray for something for my daughter, pray for her happiness. Pray for her continued health. *Definitely* pray that she will stop running into ignorant idiots for the rest of her life, but I think that would fall under the category of 'miracle'. But don't, do NOT pray for God to 'cure' my child. The person who offers to do so should offer up a prayer instead for an end to their own ignorance and self-righteous arrogance.
My therapist actually told me several times that everyone is a little bit autistic. I called her out on it so that she doesn’t say it to anyone else in the future. That’s the one that gets under my skin the worst as well.
Hrm, I have also heard everyone is a little OCD.
Thanks so much for this list, Olivia! I have mild Asperger's Syndrome, I was diagnosed at seven years old, and I get the "But you don't LOOK like you're on the spectrum", as if you're automatically SUPPOSED to have a distinct look.
Just ask those people who they think looks "appropriately black" or "appropriately gay," and let them seethe in their hypocrisy.
@@Magus_Union Idk what those even are? The exception for "appropriately Black" are biracial or multiracial folx.
@@rahbeeuh That's kinda the point. It's just easier to give people an example of overt discrimination when they don't realize they are being covert discriminatory to the neurodiverse. Course I know these can be pretty incendiary examples, so...
Therapist I saw for 5 sessions: "Why do you have to use diagnostic labels? They are used by therapists and doctors to diagnose for insurance and treatment. That's it!" Me: "Name it to tame it. That's why I use them." Therapist: "You're not autistic. You have good social skills! And that's what autism is all about. Let's just let that go!" Me: "Autism is an internal experience. You can't see it." Me to the receptionist: "Please cancel all of my future appointments. I won't be returning. And I don't need any further contact or discussion regarding this decision." Mic drop.
I was 26 when I found out I am autistic. I am almost 32 now. Finding out I am autistic was a major relief for me. I was originally diagnosed when I was 9, but no one told me!
I have learned so much from your channel, and much more awareness is needed. I do think many parents of autistic (diagnosed) kids would love a " cure" though. They see their child struggle in tons of ways and wish they could end their suffering and give them a NT life. The "spectrum" is a huge range of functions and abilities, and many people aren't able to embrace their "brains being wired differently" as well as you can.
Hello! One of many reasons autistic people dislike the idea of a "cure" is because research into that leads to screening for autism in the womb, such as exists for down syndrome. This is a tragedy because it leads to abortion just because the child might have a disorder. So really, it's not even about a cure but about eradicating autistic people (or other disabled people) from society just because they have a disability, which is terrible and makes it out like disabled people can't have a fulfilling and purposeful life like allistic or not disabled people. I hope this makes sense. If anyone else has a better way of explaining, please chime in. Thanks for reading!
Yes, I agree. I love my daughter, and seeing her ongoing struggles is so very painful. She has said many times that if a pill existed that would treat her autism she would give anything to get it, how much she would love to be to just drive, have a job, take a shower, brush her teeth, etc without major stress and issues.
I would never want a cure for my daughter. Autism has shaped the person she is, and I would not have that person change at all. Would I wish for a way for her life to be easier? Yeah. But that's not the same thing at all.
This video is so true and super funny! My mom said that, “I don’t think you are autistic.” when I told her it was so hurtful. People think they are an expert just because they know one person that is Autistic. 😑
I am not bothered what others may say about my autism. For me, freedom of speech is more important than all that new cancel culture.
Don't like autistic chats/forums for this reason - most active (I guess) people there are easily freaked out by some "wrong" word used talking about / describing autism - instead of having a discussion and sharing opinions on the subject. In my opinion that is so not autistic - as some of us care about THE DATA itself, not caring in which form it is being delivered to us.
Totally agree to all this comment!
The ones I've had before are "you're not autistic" and "I'd have never have thought it". My husband was the one who actually suggested I be tested, and my mom actually said "it's makes sense" after I explained a few things. The person that said "you're not autistic" was actually a friend of mine that IS autistic. Just goes to show how good my masking is around him when I see him 🤣 I've done the AQ test online, which confirmed ASD, and beginning of this week I've spoken to my Dr, but things are so, so slow over here in the UK, that I'll be lucky to be officially diagnosed within the next 5 years without paying to go private. At the cost of £2500+, that's not happening! I'm actually so envious of the systems in place in the US for things like this.
it's not much better here. in fact, I'm on a waitlist and couldn't get a referral to even be SEEN by a specialist for like 4 years
I love this video as it's so true, I've had people say to me that I'm dont look autistic and that I don't look like I have a disability, and it really bothers me so much, just becoz they don't see me on my bad days and they only see me on my good days, if they saw me on my worse days at my worse point then I don't think they would be saying those things to me, as they dont really no me and just meet me that day and they automatically assume that I'm not autistic or have a disability, then when I tell them everything I've been diagnosed with they look at me like they r surprised and can't believe it, so I no what it's like as an autistic person and with other disabilities to for people to say things like that, and it really makes me annoyed when people say these things to me, it bothers me that much that it's constantly makes me over think and dwell on it for way to long that I can't focus on anything else, it won't just pass my mind that easly, it's y I hate people saying these things to me, just becoz someone can't see my disabilities it doesn't mean they ain't there.
So true!! Just because you can't see our struggles doesn't mean we don't have them!
@@OliviaHops wow... I'm so happy that u replied to me :) I love ur video's as they really help me a lot to understand my autism more and to also see someone else that understands everything I'm going through to as an autistic person, u r super amazing and can't wait it see more videos from u, I also feel the same way as u with my autism to, when I was diagnosed last year, I felt so happy about my diagnosis to and when people say is there a cure or wish these was a cure to autism can really hurt an autistic person's feelings and its the most silliest thing for someone to say that, when we r who we r for a reason, an autistic person or a person with a disability doesn't want sympathy for being different, we want to be treated equally, and we r not all the same, we r all unique in our own way, just becoz our brains work differently and we learn differently doesn't mean people should say things like these in ur video, I glad there r people like u that make these videos to help others understand autistic people more.
No S*** we’re not clones! 😂😂😂
Great video! 😊
Spot on, thank you for the video. I discovered I’m autistic about one year ago, at age 26. When I share my autism with others, some of the things they say do get under my skin a bit. If someone asks me “why do I think I’m autistic?” (As if I just pulled this information out of my rear end) My reply is that I don’t think I’m autistic, I know I’m autistic.
I apologize that you’re unaware of everything I have had to endure because you don’t know me and/or I’m so smooth at making life LOOK easy 😂 I deserve an Oscar. Surely I can pacify you by providing infinite scenarios where I was impacted because of my autism, but the truth is that it’s my everyday reality. It affects me all the time.
It’s just recently that I am able to make the changes necessary in order to build a better life for myself. I’ve been trying to produce neurotically, and it’s rough always giving 110% just to come up short, be misunderstood, and get a hard time from other people. By now I’m exhausted, and I’m not having it any more 😂 And there’s the “label thing”. It is not for the sake of having category to fit into. Its so that we can understand ourselves. Self understanding is one of my main priorities, and it is the key to self mastery. My opinion is that self understanding should be a priority for anybody. Lol Do you know how your brain works?! Most people I’ve come across don’t even give it a second thought, hence the “everybody’s a little autistic” reply 🙄
The part about this video where you said outgoing .. I think you have to understand people like me without an autistic brain what we were told by doctors .. back in 1991 my daughter was diagnosed with autism .. the so called professional said Elizabeth will not have any social skills and she just wouldn’t want to be around people … that was the furthest thing from the truth.. my Elizabeth is the most outgoing funniest person I have ever met .. Soo I guess all the things you mentioned are from those so called doctors and stereotypes of autism and the ignorance about what autism really is and why people say these stupid things … and I am so happy you are bringing this out .. thank you thank you … thank you for educating us all
My daughter was diagnosed at 3 and went through school with them refusing to recognize that she was. They would try to shame me by trying to "label her" and say they have her under her IEP as behavioral impaired. And gets the same help. Which she didn't. They didn't help her with social things including helping her communicate. She's 22 now and it still makes me so furious. But thank you for your videos ❤️
Great video that resonates so much (I have NVLD which is kinda sorta on the spectrum). But you left out one thing NOT to say "Are you sure you're not just using this as an excuse????". I heard that one from my mom.
Ooh, such a good one!! If I make a Part 2, that will definitely go in there.
UGH! That's exactly what I see my mom saying
My daughter is autistic.. and she is the best that has ever happened to me .. both my daughter and you are beautiful.. my Elizabeth has taught me so much .. thank you for sharing
Most of what I've gotten has been "You don't look like it." I don't really mind though because I use it as a teaching moment. After all, a lot of people aren't familiar with Aspergers yet and I might be their first time talking to someone with it. I do feel compared a lot to my sister though because her traits are a LOT more obvious than me. Even my mom doesn't think I'm on the spectrum even though I was diagnosed. My mom is wonderful for the record, but that's the one issue we butt heads on.
I've definitely gotten the "stop labeling yourself" and "you don't seem autistic." Veiled invalidation and insults.
I have had therapists trying to downplay my autism and to make me stop talking so much about it.
I am what most consider high functioning. Live on my own outgoing, smart. My job doesn't see it since I work from home.
My brother has a more severe case went to a school for autism, lives in a group home.
I have started to learn what triggers me. Me and a friend saw a show with lights, smells sounds I enjoyed it but I had to use the intermission and get outside and some fresh air no sounds, smells any of it and done for the day. Going to the mall is awful and learned recently from other autistic adults to have headphones in while shopping. I go to smaller stores where I am in and out in 15 minutes because it's hard. I struggle with conflict my brother whose more severe it doesn't bother him. We both have meltdowns I bite myself. I stim. My brother has great balance I can tell you how to do something but if I need to open a lid I struggle with being able to. I have learned from vloggers like you techniques to make life easier.
I struggle with a processing disorder so it takes me longer to react to what I am seeing. As a kid I got a finger slammed in a door because my parent thought I was out of the car. I have been let go from job's because I took to long to get tasks completed.
I understand somewhat where you are coming from. i have twins on the spectrum and due to complications at birth, one has more challenges than the other. one is introverted, and his brother can't seem to give him a break, saying he's not applying himself. it drives me crazy and i speak w them about it separately. the are almost 28. don't give up on yourself whatever you do, Nathan. There is a place for you.
@@ritab5153 definitely I have just learned ways to adapt
@@nathanjw940 definitely…and it takes awhile to learn your triggers. I was overwhelmed and stressed out for about 20 years because I didn’t know that I was autistic and had auditory sensitivities. Now that I am learning my triggers things are getting better. I hope that they are for you as well.
@@faeriesmak that has really helped me
I don't like going to the theater because it is so loud even though I have some hearing loss and can't process the quiet dialogue. My preference is to watch movies at home at a comfortable volume with the subtitles on.
I get overwhelmed shopping, too. For me, it's not the muzak or crowd noise but the sheer volume of things to look at that drain me.
The thing about "everybody is a little autistic" pisses me off so bad. It's just rude to shut somebody down and invalidate them that way.
I also hate "oh you must be high functioning"
The only reason I know how to drive is because I was put through an rigerous driving program when I was 18 that was expensive Because my mom could not figure out how to teach me how to drive and I could not figure out how to learn. My child is currently going through the same program.
Without being dependent on another human, I have to live in my car.
I can't handle working because I'm always overwhelmed with sensory issues. I hear everything competing for my ears simultaneously. I cant handle anything high pitched or low pitched. And most uniforms have polyester and it freaks me out. And I can smell everything.
I've lived in my car too
There’s a saying in my language when someone says something like “oh but you’re pretty and smart” when talking about autism. It is “you’re confusing speed with bacon”
I've never heard that saying before... What's your first language?
Can you make a video about how you were diagnosed, or how to have one's child tested or diagnosed?
Thank you a million for making this video. I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet but I’m working on it. This really helped me not feel alone when asked these questions. Best video on UA-cam yet explaining these questions and what not
I was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2-and-half years old. Since then, I have often been a victim of being misunderstood, misinterpreted, accused, and through all other common negative assumptions, especially when being in Special Ed.
self diagnosed Nov 2020 and neurologist diagnosed Nov 2021 (also my best day ever) so glad to find your videos thank you so much for making this content to help so many of us! 🙏🏼
thank you for educating me. greatly appreciate your videos👏❤️👏
My brother and I were just having that talk about labels and boxes the other day! To me, the boxes are already in my head, and I get to choose what goes in and what gets taken out. The problem is that I have too many boxes with too much stuff that I don't know how to organize. So when I find a label, I slap that puppy on the appropriate box and store it nicely on the shelf. ❤️
Olivia, you are a delight! My granddaughter is autistic so I really appreciate your insights. Thank you!
Aw thanks so much, Scott! Your granddaughter is awesome and YOU'RE awesome for watching videos to better understand her ☺️💙
With all of these questions, I feel the only possible reply is something on the line of: "Interesting, now please tell me what's the last book you read about autism?".
Olivia your helping me so much in understanding autism in my wife who was only diagnosed a few months ago so thanks very much and i definitely have now seen it in my son.
keep this going its helping me to better understand this.
I have ADHD and I still don't know it I have Autism or not. But I've had people tell me it's my diet, everyone has trouble paying attention-those are like the two worst comments you can say to someone with a neurodevelopmental disorder.
Hi, Olivia! First I want to thank you for sharing your story. It has brought so much peace to my daughter (16), and me, in finally understanding what is happening with her. We are always super excited when you post a new video, and usually watch all of them all over again! 😊 I want to get an official diagnosis for her, and I’m wondering if the doctor who diagnosed you could recommend someone here in the state of TX? My fear is that I will take her to someone who will say “ There’s no way you are autistic”, when our guts say “ Yes, she is”. Thanks so much! ❤️
LMAO idk why it's so funny to me how u put on a different shirt and hat to say the quotes 😂
Hahahahaha I'm so glad you thought it was so funny because I did too 😂😂😂😂
I love your sense of humor! 😅 Binging your videos lol.
I was just diagnosed last week (age 33). Thank you for your videos!
👍💯. The phrases you shared are common for sure. I just had to deal with grade schools thinking I was out of control while they misunderstood my confusion, irritation, and frustration and then teens thinking my whole special ed class knew nothing, Through childhood strangers didn't understand my limits of communication.
Thank you for the video! Super informative! As someone on the spectrum as well, I started my channel and uploaded videos of my experiences. Love seeing yours and others channels!
Hi, Miss Olivia! I was diagnosed last year with ASD. What an incredible freeing day that was! I finally had a “name” to my miswired brain 😂😂 Being 45 and diagnosed was in my top 5 best days EVER! Freedom never felt so free!
I could tell you had fun making this video! Awesome job! Are you vaccinated?? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I fell out of my chair laughing so hard🤣🤣🤣 scared my cats and bf.
Thanks for another great video, keep them coming! ~CJ from Iowa (corn not potatoes)
Congrats on your diagnosis, CJ!! I know that incredible feeling you're talking about! I felt the same exact way. I'm so glad you thought the vaccinated comment was funny because so did I 🤣😂 I did have a blast making this video, so thanks for noticing. :) And thanks for watching! God Bless! 💙
i love you Olivia! keepin it so real!
I grew up around sarcasm and it’s great way to talk of the absurdities. I wonder how much my grasps of sarcasm has to to with the fact that I am a youngest sibling? Always trying to emulate somebody I guess.
I am a female, and I was diagnosed with autism at age 2. I don't remember getting diagnosed because I was really young. I was also diagnosed with anxiety (at age 7), OCD (at age 2), depression (at age 15, or at age 16), and I think I may have ADHD and I might be dyslexic. I am currently 21. I have never been told these things, but I have had people get weird about some other things. So annoying 🙄🙄! Some people are so ignorant and need to worry about themselves 🙄🙄.
You pretty much summed it up! Lol! Great job!
You are so helpful!!! Thank You for your creativity and wisdom!!!
Aw thank you so much!! Thank YOU for your support and love!! 💙
@@OliviaHops No Problem! You and this channel are special, so keep being yourself!
"Eyebrows"! >D Love your sense of humor, Olivia! Watching your videos is a highlight of my day. Recently diagnosed myself, I thank you so much for putting to words all those things that I could sense inside, but could never make sense of or put into words. I would love to meet you someday, but even if we never do meet in person, I thank God for bringing your sunshiney self into my life, even if through videos
What I thought was really funny about it is I think most babies really are born without eyebrows. I think that's part of what makes them so cute.
I got the “I’m so sorry” from my Pediatrician when I saw him a Flu Vaccine clinic as an adult. It was brief, but I said “No need to to be sorry, it explains a lot about things that never quite made sense.” I was also born with Hypothyroidism, so all my struggles were blamed on that and I wasn’t misdiagnosed with the usual business.
People always tell me I take things personally. I don't even understand what that means. 😕
Yes, I've had eight out of ten of these things said to me since my diagnosis. Next time I hear any of the ten things not to say to someone who is Autistic, I'll mentally add a pound coin and put the actual amount raised into the charity box at the back of my parish church.
God love you. Peace and All Good.
I went to a GP or family doctor once with the specific idea of getting a referral to be diagnosed as autistic. After being told by no less than three nurses/doctors/ admitting staff that I 'didn't look autistic...' I was getting a bad feeling. When the doctor came around and starts GRILLING me about why I thought I was autistic and what I would get out of the diagnosis, I was just crying and pretty much nonverbal by that point. Then he decides to bring in a senior doctor who comes in, sees a full-grown woman crying in the exam room, rocking in her chair and says "What harm could it do to refer her?" to my doctor, and he finally gives in and 'refers' me...
I never get a call back from that so-called referral that he made.
So I'm still not diagnosed. Because that was friggin traumatizing and I have yet to get the nerve up to ask for another referral or go to a therapist on my own.
I don’t really like the first argument. Of course it’s silly if people to say “you don’t look autistic” but it’s also obviously not that they think we all have a third eye on our forehead or something. It obviously refers back to the “white male genius” stereotype perpetuated by the media.
Personally, so far I’ve gotte “I would’ve never guessed” type comments. Which are fine, whatever. I was just as clueless about the diversity of autistic presentation not that long ago.
I like all the different hair dos. Looks like it was fun to do.
Aw thanks so much!! They are fun to do :)
My favourite one I heard shortly after I was diagnosed was, "Well, everyone's getting that diagnosis these days." And then the fool I am went on to explain how the criteria is based on young white boys and females typically present differently and and and... then I was exhausted. I will never be able to respond to that one with anything but ¬_¬ ever again...
Um, we're normal. 🤣. I don't care if they diagnose me "officially" or not. It was mentioned and my world was explained. No need for more. I could care less what anyone thinks (I've learned is a trait {Ty}🤣.). You Rock! 🤟✌️💕🎸⭐🥰
Uugghhh, thank you for making this video. I'm in the process of trying to get an evaluation for Autism (37 y.o. woman), and when I initially brought up my desire for this to my doctor, she told me that I didn't 'SEEM Autistic'.
..............
So.... yeah, I definitely didn't dig that response. Maybe I *don't* actually have it - I won't know until I get an official diagnosis (or not) - but that's definitely not something I expected my medical professional to say. -_- Even someone in my family doesn't think I have it - they think I'm exaggerating my concerns ("we're ALL a little bit like that"), so it can be super frustrating trying to justify how I feel to other people (I think I would be considered 'high-functioning'... but over time I myself am liking that term less & less. Sigh.)
So sorry you're dealing with all of that, girl. Praying for you. Best of luck on your diagnosis journey. Don't give up 💙
there are advantages, at least for me i have the ability to stay focused on a detailed task for hours, at least if it's a task i'm interested in doing ;)
Oh, yeah. Maybe you can say, "I'm sorry," when you find out someone's NT, because different things are hard for them.
I'm really getting some good laughs from this one. like your channel a lot.
One of my friends said, I love you. No one else has said anything to me directly. Lolol. However, I hear all of it, when said or I see it in their expressions or they treat me as if I'm not educated and try to remove my experiences. I am 51 yrs old. I need NO CORRECTION OR VALIDATION FROM ANYONE. I am appropriate. My opinion is stable and well rounded. I may be ignorant of some of "the rules" and how they may differ in neighboring areas, however, last I checked, common decency is Universal. ✌️🥰
Please more sassy characters. LOVE this.
Thanks, Shelbi!! So glad you liked it!! I had such a fun time doing them lol!!
As my daughter's doc said, she received the diagnosis for a reason. High-functioning yes, but to think that doesn't mean the autism is there is so wrong.
Love your clear responses!
Thanks so much, Lina!! I appreciate you watching my videos 💙
Haha. Its not autism from vaccines, its just that autistic people are more sensitive to those things. And yes there is food, yoga, horseback riding etc that helps autistic people, but it wont change our brains. Its so annoying when people say this especialy people working with health. I am an autistic yoga teacher and therapist myself.
Olivia, I love your videos! I can only imagine the comments you get! I've seen my autistic partner share stuff on social media about autism, and the crackpots that comment, well they're not funny, we can take funny, but they are just ignorant to put it lightly. Then on one very memorable post I saw my friend's grandson, newly diagnosed, very politely and intelligently reply to one particular woman, to no avail. Me, I'm not so polite!
Ugh, sorry your partner gets all this crap, too. I'm not so polite either LOL! Glad I'm not alone.
I love this video! Thank you!
This video is so cute! I have heard and probably said a few of these before my child was diagnosed. 🙈
Omg! You are a San Diegan too??? That's so cool! BTW, Amazing work and Have a Fabtastic Day!!!!!
You’re from San Diego?! Awesome!!
I love this, 100% agree! I would love to see some tips for autistic people who want to run their own business (as you do). I just don't get how to get my brain on board and understand what I need to do in order to get there 😞 Either way, thank you ❤️
Yeah… My neuropsychologist literally said nine out of those 10 things ha ha I think everyone needs to be better informed! And I’m saying this as a mental health counselor! Your videos are amazing. You literally changed my life, so thank you!! 🐱
I was diagnosed late with autism at the age of 47. My employer at the time, the NHS in the UK did not accept my diagnosis of autism and tried repeatedly and unsuccessfully to get it overturned. They did not believe I was autistic. My diagnosis was made by one of the country's (UK) leading psychiatrists and had enormous respect. Also, on vaccines I never had my vaccines for reasons I explained in my book 'The Makings of a Sound Engineer'. Just to say I like watching your videos I find them very helpful.
I loved this video, buuut… please please please put a trigger alert about chewing that gum (or in general, about noises) because I'm highly misophonic, have no "A-diagnosis" yet and that chewing gum made me so so so nervous 😢 I know you'll understand! ❤️
Your are amazing Olivia! I'm also HSP and your videos are amazing! 💗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Hi. I am autistic as well. I hate when people say I have “mild” autism and “high functioning “ autism. That’s just…no. People don’t know what I am like in my own home. I too have had to mask my autism for many years. I just can’t do it anymore. I want to be myself.
I feel the same way when someone says their "sorry that I have Diabetes," or "it must have been tough growing up with diabetes.". It really wasn't. I had to eat at certain times and watch for blood sugar drops, but I had a relatively normal childhood. I had a theater teacher tell me "to reach inside me to the resentment I had growing up with diabetes.", but I never resented it. I still went out trick or treating (I traded my candy with my siblings for any nuts they had gotten and my dad sold the rest of my candy at his work, so I made money). Even when I was first diagnosed and still in the hospital for Halloween. My mom brought my costume in, complained about getting it on me with my IV, and I went trick or treating on the floor. I didn't know this then, but she had gone around the floor and given people diabetic safe things to give me: sugar free pudding mixes, crayons, coloring books. So, long story short, I never felt like I had any reason to resent that I was a little different. And now that I'm going through an autism evaluation, it's just another aspect of who I am. There's no reason to be sorry.
This is a great video that should be seen by everyone!
Uh NUH ! My wife and kids reference you are a legend I laughed so hard
HAHAHA! Omg yay!! I’m so glad someone knows that show because it is my all time favorite!! Michael Kyle is parenting goals 😂
"God made me this way"... 👍🏼
Yes ma'am God knows every hair on our heads and yes He made us just the way He wanted us made. Thank you so much for being used and bringing light to autism. My daughter hasn't yet been diagnosed but I strongly think she does. We do plan on getting her diagnosed soon. Thanks again for sharing...
there are methods to communicate made for non speaking autistics. look into those for your daughter to communicate through.
I've had all of these and I'm not even officially diagnosed yet. My mum is definitely ND in denial and tells me to 'wait till she's learned more quantum healing so I can cure you'
Hi OLi, you´re nailing it again !! I would only argue point 9 as a misconception- we do not cure autism, we cure very unpleasant symptoms based on somatic disfunctions. Otherwise you are absolutely right, Lord created each of us the way He intended. Blessings and hugs from Prague, you are the living proof !!
I have not gotten an official diagnosis yet, but I seem to line up with AuDHD. But this definitely makes sense. I definitely don’t dislike how I am. There are just definitely different ways my brain is wired that can be frustrating.
when I told I'm autistic, there's someone told me that "you can't be autistic, autistic people are really smart"......I was like "huh, so i'm not smart enough to be an autistic person" (:
I agree...Some of them might hurt people with autism and that's something I would love others to know too.
Something is different about me, and I have always had a talent for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. People would tell me that I have a hard time communicating, and it hurts to hear that no matter how hard I try. Is that autism? IDK.
God I love you!
Thank Thank Thank YOU! You bring so much useful information to the world.
Oh and I love your style.
Simply Gorgeous!
Aw thank you so much, Erin!! I love you girl!! 💙
I get told "BUT YOU'RE SO SUCCESSFUL." Because I can live on my own and work... I guess they think autistic people can't do those things? And actually I get that a lot from so-called experts on autism.