Andrew Mellen on Unstuff Your Life: Kick the Clutter Habit and Transform Your Life
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- Опубліковано 31 тра 2024
- Andrew J. Mellen, aka Virgoman, speaks on how to get past your feelings and reclaim your space. Andrew is a professional organizer and coach, has been featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, and on HGTV and NPR. He has created unique and lasting techniques for streamlined living, bringing order out of chaos. Built from the premise that we must distinguish ourselves from our possessions, he acknowledges it is often the "stuff behind the stuff" that holds people back. His new book, Unstuff Your Life! starts with achievable goals and works toward the nightmare projects everyone tries hard to avoid. www.virgoman.com
We grew up poor in India. Back in the day there was not stuff to be had even if you had some money. People had pots and pans and silverware for lifetimes. There was maybe one small box of Christmas decorations for the tree. People were minimalist by default and you know what, we never missed having a bunch of stuff. Now that I have too much it makes me unhappy. Especially if you buy stuff for some thing your “going to do” in the future like crafts or clothes for an occasion it makes me sad and reminds me of the passage of time when I see those things in 10 years, those plans unfulfilled. Don’t buy stuff until you need it,even if it costs a few more bucks. If you have stuff now get rid of it by attrition, wear it out and when it’s done get rid of it. If you have nice things you don’t use, donate them. Let someone less fortunate enjoy something nice. I have started this journey and it takes some time. Less really is more peace of mind.
Profound. I understand the sadness and plans and hopes unfulfilled. Your words are a more sad, introspective wording of what many on UA-cam call the “fantasy self.” I bought so many things in my twenties and early thirties to go with the romantic Victorian era. Problem is, I didn’t have time for such things along with it was the wrong time in reality. I don’t have those things anymore but they sat in my house for years, then in boxes for several, finally they have left in the last few months....I’m 51 so they were around for a long time.
Spot on. Well said.
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18:50 "If everything is precious, then nothing is precious."
True !
Well Phrased 👏
I love how blunt he is.
Its amazing when you say it out loud how stupid things can sound." I have my grandmas stuff, I have to keep it forever. " I have watched this several times its very inspiring.
It points out why material things get to be clutter. It mostly about using objects to relate to people or moment's of the past that are important to you. Sometimes it might be easier to deal with your stuff by thinking it in an objective way.
@@bridgetlarimer1327 I love what you said-it’s about related to people or moments-that chrystalized it for me
I learned more about organizing in 44 mins than I have in hours of listening to The Minimalist about minimizing. The clarification of sentimental was great!
There is book on utube, "Goodbye Things" by a Japanese fellow ( audio is English) really opened my thinking of things. I was amazed by his messages.
Best video on decluttering EVER
I looked at a lot of videos before finding this. This is GOLD.
This man is incredible! I am now going to get up and get rid of all those things in that second bedroom that I will never use. This feels like a good kick in the ass I've needed for a while.
Finally, someone who doesn't fluff around the edges and gets straight to the crux of the problem
This info is so important! My mother always said; " A place for everything and everything in its place" . I will definitely share this information with my daughter. Ha! Ha!
He truly gets it and doesnt pontificate. Thank you for this. The "what if theres a fire" "time looking for stuff" always work for me!
Andrew Mellen is giving timeless advice. His sense of what works is precise. I have been trying to declutter my load and get to my core interest for over 20 years. I need to study his methods. When I win the war against clutter, I will be entirely renewed.
I know this is an old video, but the info is still SO good. I grew up with 3 maxims - 1) A place for everything and everything in it's place and 2) Don't put it down, put it away 3) If something's worth doing, it's worth doing well. I hated the 'rules' while growing up, but am grateful for the training from loving parents, now long gone...
I had a wonderful loving mom, but sadly totally enabled my messy ADHD scattered ways! You are so blessed to have be trained for life.
But then again, you likely share temperamental characteristics with her. If you didnt, her 'lessons' wouldnt have resonated with you at all
These set of rules are memorable.
I agree! this info is still soooo good! He explained it so well, I watched this last year and now watch again..... your parents were lovely, they will be happy to see how wonderful you become!
@@lightinthedark1594 I had an alcoholic, abusive dad who would go off the deep end for the littlest things. For example, if we did the dishes, but somehow left one spoon somewhere, he would go into a hollering fit. Life was difficult to say the least. I used to organize my meager amount of possessions every week. I think it gave me a sense of control over one little area, in a life I had no control over. I still to this day, love to organize things. And I don't miss my deceased parents at all.
What i do to stuff that I really don’t going to use, and I love is taking digital pictures so i can remember it, and donate it to thrift stores so somebody can use. I just keep few stuff so I really can have control and use them because everything is temporary.
I like this guy. He is direct and funny at the same time. And his advice is great.
Hey Dawn -- thanks!
I agree
This is absolutely inspiring. What I like most about the talk is the combination of humour and lack of judgment. It all comes down to choices, eg. if you value books the most, fill your house with bookcases. Great, great, great.
He is a smart. Learned a lot
Took 14 minutes to get to the 2 techniques.
My silverware drawer is a home for all the items needed - and NEVER gets messed up. Same with dishes in their cabinet and spices in their home.
I am no longer trying to organize everything - but, instead, I get rid of stuff and then do my best to find homes for items still living in my space.
My mantra is: do not purchase anything unless I am willing to get rid of 4 other things per single item. THIS has helped me a lot!
Nice.
Well articulated - "One home for everything" and "like with like"
I love the ‘if everything is special, then nothing is special’ that is very true
As to the projects, and old homework from elementary school for your children, you can always take a picture of it before discarding it and email it to the child. 1 warning about saving old clothing for your grandchildren is that anything made of spandex or with elastic it will dry rot in an attic before it is worn again. It's best to move it on and give it to a neighbor's child or Goodwill.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS GUY !! I My God, WHERE has Mr. Mellon been ALL my life ???
Heck yes I’m watching this one or two more times,
Best tip for me was putting memories in a stupid glass (etc) instead of in your Heart (my words)
Sorry grandma, your stuff is going to good will today
If there is a question “should i keep it?” The answer is No.
Keepable treasures do not pose any dilemma
Addresses what so many other organizers fail to... The why and how for more difficult attachments. Thank you.
This guy is an excellent therapist
He’s wise no nonsense
His specialty is organization and keeping what's important, he just happens to speak to share that information. Nobody is good at everything, lets try to appreciate the valuable information shared and not worry about the minutia surrounding it.
Clearing out what distracts you from doing the things that are important to you. THIS.
Yes!
I cleaned out the desk and credenza while listening to this. What didn't get put into the garbage is going to the thrift store right now.
This guy was amazing ...never heard of him til now
I saw him on Oprah, he's very detailed and straight to the POINT
Hahahahaha wow he is telling the TRUTH! Glad I found this video.
It’s 5:22....am!! I just woke up to use the bathroom. Let the pups do the same, had a snack, saw this and started watching. TOTALLY INTENDING to watch just for a short minute and finish it tomorrow!!! This REALLY SUCKED ME IN! Just GREAT INFO!
he was no BS no messing around! his solutions were practical and time/energy saving and i like how he kept stressing that if it works for the person, they should just DO it.
MERCI BEAUCOUP!
The pandemic quaratine got me started in getting rid of my clutter which is really difficult. I find it so hard to get rid of my books but after listening to you, I have decided to donate them ( except for my set of Encyclopedia Britannica) to my local library.
Since I attached my keys to a leash that is tied onto my purse, I've stopped losing them. They can get buried under the stuff in my purse but they are always retrievable by pulling on the leash/cord. Since I won't leave home without my purse, I also always have my wallet. And its much harder to lose my purse under a pile of stuff , while just a set of keys was easy. Lots of bags now come with key loops,too.
Well, I believe the dynamics of this talk change when you throw in mental challenges such as ADHD.
Stuffocation and affluenza are silly new worlds but they really do reveal truth........have less, buy less and keep less.....just do it.
You hit it right on with one thing for me right near the end of the Q&A... Ask the other person how much something still means to them - it was in relation to the drawing from a child. I was keeping around some decorations in my bathroom and felt I should keep them because my sis gave them to me years ago. I mentioned something about them to her about a year ago. No recollection of what I was talking about. So out they went, and got replaced with something else when I was working on a cleanup.
Just watching this in 2020!
Susan Behring me too
I like this guy's logic! The problem is advising, peoples ego etc.!......The more stuff you have the more stuff you need to worry about!
Andrew, this video alone changed my perception to stuff. I hv knocked off 20% of my stuff in a week. Thank you.
I found this to be so much more helpful then anything I have seen, or read on how to organize and de-clutter. Thank you! Also kudos on the paraphrasing skills to understand what the audience's questions actually were!
When you get minimalism. It isn't hard to hear let it go. Anything you have shoved into the corner of a garage is not loved. That is unless you are in some sort of temporary situation.
Love this presentation! 👏👏👏 Thank you so much for uploading! 🙏❤️
So simple-based and yet very powerful! This is fun! Thanks for sharing! I love his energy. I found out about Andrew through Ace Your Space, and I just enjoyed his presentation.
Best organization talk I've ever heard. He touched on many points and she related quandaries of stuff. From young families to empty nesters to seniors to career oriented.
I so needed this. What a relief. I'm on a better path. A God send. Thank you.
'Triangle of organization' in Andrew's world...'One home for everything, and like with like. If you do that, you will solve 85% of your problems' 13:22 priceless!
Thank you 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏so much for sharing this wonderful teaching information and tips on how to declutter the home 🏠 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
You have to be careful with what you put in a storage unit. Many of them have mice and through no fault of your own. Rodents can destroy a lot of things in a short time.
That’s what my issue is I have my kids stuff from school now I realise it’s not worth hoarding if they don’t think it’s worth it great point 👍🏻 out it goes
thanks I really needed this I wish I found this a few months ago
He is a generous spirit trying to give as much as possible as clearly as possible -
Thank you! Thank you! I really needed to hear this no-nonsense approach to getting rid of stuff. I have been paralyzed by clutter and stuff for years. Clutter and disorganization is draining.
Instead of dwelling on the money I spent, I will focus on passing my stuff (dresses, shoes, sweaters, etc.) to someone who will be able to use it.
Brilliant, useful video!!!!
SO HE HAS GOOD BOUNDARIES !! goo0d time boundaries topic boundaries =i think he'd be a really safe person . anyway . he wants to get out as much info as possible and isnt going to coddle people . if you want coddling go to your gramma . decluttering is not easy / it is not for the fainthearted !!!
If something is sentimental but not usable and remains in your storage - take a picture of it to save for your memories then give it to someone who will love it and make them happy!!
Mr. Mellen, great video just wanted to let you know, "God made a few perfect heads, the rest He covered with haiir."
Great Andrew Iam learning a lot from you a big thanks ☘️🍀🇮🇪🇮🇪🙋♀️
Thank you for the piles vs a piece at a time question. ADD is such a tricky thing to work around. I do the same thing, one piece at a time.
Evelyn Mitchell I switch back and forth, sometimes the piles work for me, sometimes one thing at a time The biggest problem with one thing at a time is I'll get totally distracted between what I'm sorting and where that one thing goes. Two hours later......
This is the best and I need it so bad. Excellent info with no sentiment.
Awesome presentation 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank You
I for one am simply thrilled he let us know in the first 15 minutes “He has a three bedroom house in the Poconos”. I don’t like taking advice from broke dumb guys! 👏👏👏👏👏👏
Wise and tells the truth directly with humor.
I'm a pretty organized person and this lecture was a real eye opener!
That was so succinctly fabulous!!🙌🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
God he's brilliant. I am so inspired!
Nick Mayor me TOO!!!!!
I found this video just now, but better than never! I like him sooo much, he s very efficient!
Me too!
One person's declutter & organise is another person's "Let's go shopping"!
That means I have to get rid of everything I have! Thank you.
This has been super helpful. My husband’s great-grandmother passed along some things that I have no clue what to do with and feel like since the e been passed on down for so long I better not get rid of them. But I’m not going to keep them just because they made it thus far down to me. Freedom!
I see this is an old video but my thoughts on what to do with a full size headboard you aren't using but matches the other pieces is to find a competent carpenter and have them make it into a bench.
A great idea... but only if you need a bench. : )
Let it go!!! Great advice.
Stop buying books, buy on digital.
I love the “ like lives with like” and “ everything has a home” ideas, and my keys have had a home for years, and I never have to look for them _ at home, anyway!
And I love “ If everything is precious, nothing is precious!” Really true!
oh lordie, I wish I could read his book. Reading gives me migraines. Thank you for doing this. (I am a hoarder, heading towards trouble someday) I look forward to listening, right now.
Logical and funny...."...later is the stepchild of someday.."
He is excellent.
I have scissors in every room, in their place. I keep my old sneakers (swamp sneakers) for gardening.
I wish I listened to you 20 years before very impressed
I recently listened to this and agreed with a lot but when it comes to the mother who wants to get rid of her daughters things- I hope you didnt!. My ex husband, now 66 STILL hates his mother for getting rid of his toy soldiers when he was a boy!!
keep a backpack with important papers, keys, credit cards, passport, that you grab, if you must leave your home. I-touch, I pod, I-pad. Stuff burns up, and so do you.
Was thrilled to stumble upon this fabulous video- I'm SO ready to read your book and discover all the other golden nuggets of info you have to offer on CLUTTER. Omg your personality is polar opposite of "flylady" - you could get an entire lecture out before she finished a sentence, I think! **IN-TENSE!!!** not an insult, just an observation and I like you both in your own ways. She always says you can't organize clutter. But i have such a hard time deciding what needs to go/stay and get organiz
It's sad to get a bigger house for STUFF!
As true then as it is now. I know this is from 9 years ago but we're all still having the same problem. Great story around the 12:30 minute mark about the Mom who says her family is the most important thing to her but is often 15 minutes late to picking up her daughter. And while some of it sounded harsh during the question and answer portion, he's right to call out that we often are not really dealing with our emotional connection and story to an object. And I like that he's saying sometimes it is not us who should be dealing with the stuff, sometimes it is our grown children who should be dealing with it. I've seen other videos of his posted in later years - direct, funny and a very balanced attitude. He never says you can only have 20 pairs of shoes - he just says you should have stuff equilibrium. If you've been looking at organization videos because you've been inspired by the Marie Kondo method, you'll like his method too. He advocates thanking your belongings for the work or happiness it brought you. He advocates having like items together and being mindful about what you own. He doesn't say you can't have things, he says maybe you pick out the 10 most important things that reminds you about that person because those things AREN'T the person. (10 being an arbitrary number)
Let everyone store their OWN!!! STUFF!...Period!🤕 Folls!✌
He's right about the kid's stuff but wrong about the scissors. Keep a pair in every room!
Mojosbigstick agree! I’ve spent countless moments looking fir scissors, now I have a pair in every room!
As long as you keep them in their home. In other words, you don’t carry that pair to another room and leave them there or you still won’t have that pair in its home so you will be searching for them when needed.
Love my scissors!
Lol...too funny
Yep a few pairs of scissors in the house is essential.
Excellent information. I will apply to every item in my home. Thank you.
........"find yourself at the mall with 9 thousand shopping bags"....... LOL well, everything in my house is super organized but I still have too much stuff!!!.......as a cancer (zodiac sign) its super difficult to not collect things......for me its things like Dragon statues, 6 inch heels, Books, DVD's, knifes and daggers......argh....what a loving fun pain it is...anyway great video, love it!
+White Kitta
Me too, star sign sister..well, the too much stuff anyway,
stars, hearts, birds, angel wings, quilts, high boots and Knives.
I need to get the super-organised vibe too..!
Same sign, same here! 5 different sets of clothing, work, casual, dressy, etc. Books of all genres, ppwk from every conceivable angle, crafts, ideas, prepping items, extra food/water/ emergency supplies to support family, things to sell to putmoney in the bank, gifys designated for various people at various holidays, old cards, letters, memorabilia, you name it! Life is full and the home is crazy!!! I do think being a Cancer has a lot to do with it!
Books are a rabbit hole in our house. My husband and I are both readers and the piles.....oh, sure, I know how to arrange them so they look 'farmhouse chic' but the rest of the decor is being swallowed by books!
I have searched for 2 days for this video. Looked under declutter and clutter. Have no idea why it doesn't show up. Finally found it thru another video's link. Great advice, thank you!
His guidance for them was informative, although, he did make mistakes.
One example was suggesting to the woman (w/the 19 year-old daughter) to put the sentimental items from the nanny in a storage locker. No! The idea is to free people from clutter (and unnecessary expenses) and create a positive space & improved habits.
A storage locker would create space for more clutter, and later on, probably add to their stress. The family needed to go through it and keep only 1-2 items from the nanny which have value; then, release the rest. Yes, the love of the nanny is in their hearts & memories, not in the stuff. If need be, they could've taken a photograph of some items, then move on.
He provided their workshop w/good ideas, but he might want to seek help to improve in these areas:
* procedure & consistency,
* presentation,
* partner w/a trained psychologist to help w/clients who have special needs & challenges.
As a professional organizer, I enjoy supporting other's work and send best wishes.
I hope this fellow makes more vids about human nature and boindaries
Thanks! You are awesome!
About tschachkes, I just moved to a tiny studio. My clueless family member can't see well, has no curiosity -- and if it's pretty, she labeled it fragiile -- nothing else! But my precious little items like a Chinese turquoise glaze goose that a 1940's stamp pal sent to my dad, or a slice of worn out San Francisco cable car track that a lovely man gave me one foggy night 40 years ago -- she labels all those treasures "nic-nacks"!!! Oh fooey!
I do not understand emotional attachment to material things, particularly when someone gives it to you. Even when I gift someone, I tell them; if you do not have use for it feel free to give it away to someone who will. It may be as I remember that my grandmother only believed in having what you needed, life was simple and carefree. I find STUFF overwhelming, life is too short, and materialism makes us spend more time cleaning and organizing than creating loving memories with the ones we care about. I’d rather spend hours hiking or playing with my son, than hours cleaning and reorganizing things I do not need and that steal from my life and my family.
You own nothing... everything owns you! Let go and stop being a slave to things. I am an almost ex- slave. Still not totally free but on my way. ;)
I want the book.
I have decided to start photographing all of my objects in order to keep the memories if & when I need a visual prompter as I age. That way, if they break or get stolen, I will still have them if & when I need them. I might donate them when I'm finished. They are worthless, so selling them is just a waste of time!
3 ㅡ
Fabulous!!!
Thank u so much!!!
I love the look of a collectors home, but I'm not very good at display. I can enjoy it in someone else's home, but my decor is mostly useful. Books, plants, and some art on the walls. We are all different, and when something has to be managed, and is always a struggle to think about it all the time, I have to give myself permission to down size it. I want to leave this word having stepped lightly upon it.
I just want to know where my stuff is. I've lost stuff, wasted time or got really stressed because I couldn't just go to a folder or a box where something should be located.
Meander around your stuff and enjoy the history. Why waste time enjoying the history of people you will never really know. Organize your TIME.
Life tobelived--Dont get stresses. Enjoy your STUFF It is your history! Don"t waste time on a strangers history. It will turn up as you search around.
so helpful! Thank you!!!
Finally some good advice...