THE 5 PHASES OF THE INFJ’S EVOLUTION
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- Опубліковано 2 сер 2024
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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Every INFJ is a product of evolution! From their humble beginnings to reaching new heights, we'll explore the five phases they go through in order to develop an INFJ EPIC LIFE. No two INFJs are alike - some might already be on step four or five, while others may still have just begun this journey. Regardless of age you can start building towards your own version of success and fulfillment today!
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What has your "evolution" as an INFJ looked like?
I was told the same- "You are too much" and I left everyone as "I can't be too less" and embraced my unconventional life ..Your talk reminds my whole life and made me realize why my parents always be so important to me...They are the only one who did their best to understand me, guide me and never distorted me. Thank you for your talk. It gives us opportunity for analyzing our lives better way to plan a better future!
I remember being weird. I came on too strong with my first friend. She was shy and asked the teacher to make me leave her alone, but I felt like I knew we could be really good friends, so I adapted myself to befriend her without freaking her out. That was kindergarten. We are still friends through years of being pen pals
Then I moved around a lot. I learned really young that I didn't really fit in and stopped trying and was just myself, quietly reading and writing books. In high school I remember shocking people with cutting loose and dancing at a school dance. I was so confused. I realized that band friends weren't surprised. They saw me when I was casual and relaxed. Class friends only saw me in school mode when I was quietly working. So they had this completely different idea of who I was.
I felt pretty healthy, confident, and happy going into college. It didn't matter what anyone really thought of me. I was just waiting for my soulmate to meet me and understand me. His was the only opinion I really cared about. Then we met, but it was this whole big thing with a long distance relationship and misunderstandings with his parents and I started to really question myself in a way I never really did before. I lost myself for awhile. I was still there, but I got really unhealthy mentally. Depressed. In total loop mode, alternating between barely accomplishing anything to whirlwind work, cleaning and getting stuff done in no time. I got lost in my mind a bunch, binge watched way too much, and over spent a lot.
We got married and had 4 kids. My oldest started having a lot of anxiety issues, which caused me to really have to dig back into an the things I taught myself back in high school. I started finding myself again, throwing off some of the muck. I started watching UA-cam videos like this and reading books. I finally feel like I'm getting my feet under me again. Even in total grip mode, a complete wreck, I still managed to accomplish so much. I published 8 books, helped my mom publish over 20 books. I got married, built a home, had a family -and so many other smaller things. If I could do all that while in total spiral, I just wonder what I could do in a healthier mind set. I sometimes get stuck lamenting all the mistakes I made and time I lost, but I know where that road leads, and I don't want to go there anymore.
The winding stairs. /🏴☠️\. 🙏😇
✌️😎
The definition of an unaware infj :Brawl in Cell Block 99
His hands are like the end of a shovel, his drive is unmovable, his moral compass is correct lol the movie is everything
“If I’m too much go find less” 🎉❤😊
Farmable 😂
A golden INFJ quote & I wish to appropriate it asap.😊
This is so true, it hurts. The transition from being oblivious to being picked on was so painful for me. I was a very troubled and insecure child in school. It took me to my mid-twenties to learn to love myself. And surprisingly, when I could accept myself (weirdness and all), I found that other people liked me better, too.
I feel you
“If I’m too much, go find less.” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I know that’s right!!! 👏🏾👏🏾😩❤️❤️❤️
I'm 29 and in phase 5. I'm quite alone but really NOT lonely. I have 3 friends I can count one. A safe place called home where I can be myself. That's all I need.
I’m slowly creeping into stage 5 and I’m so proud of my growth as a person.
I passed trough all the 5 phases and it I'm glad it happened! Reaching phase 5 was a long process (may be 5 or 6 years long) and it happened gradually in different areas in my life. It was like little collapses time to time because I couldn't go on like this. But every time a new world rose up from the ruins, a better one, so I'm content now. It was а journey to a meaningful life.
1. We are Oblivious we’re different
2:44 we get picked on
5:03 the way we behave indent how others want us to behave
7:10 try to win the game
10:10 we need to change the game 😭” find others that play the game you want to play it!!!!!!!!!
I consider myself a star seed ⭐️I can tell you I walked through my early years of life disconnected dissociating ….. I did not speak until 5 years old.
I spent a lot of tears watching and nothing made sense.
I see inside of people that makes them uncomfortable enough to attack.
I just fell sorry for them.
They are unable to shift their perspective.
I refuse to dim my light.
💜⭐️💜
I was thinking it sounded like describing star seeds the whole time she was speaking! Which re-affirms my belief INFJ's are from 'elsewhere/aliens' 😂
@@thenewearth5313 never looked at it that particular way…. Nice.
💜⭐️💜
Probably every type has to find his or her own way in life, but this is definitely true of INFJs. I identified with all five points here, and appreciated it when you told us that after a while we reach a point where we're not trying to "fit in" any more.
It was definitely a learning experience for me. I appreciated the point you made with the stage that we realize that the way we are isn't what the others want us to be. I found their lack of understanding confusing because after all - I was acting like "me" because that was what I was given to work with! But the pressure to conform and also to play the "game" was high.
Reaching the point where we're not trying to fit in anymore but just to be ourselves, is a true mark of adulthood. An idea come to me that rather than playing the "game," I could make my own.
I'm 22 and I would say I'm transitioning into phase 5 right now. It's not easy, especially distancing myself from my old group of friends, back then, I was alright with playing the game to fit in, but now the more I try to be myself the more uncomfortable I feel being around them and the more I want to go out with other friends who understand and appreciate how I am. So I'll just keep being myself and see where that leads, if things get worse with that group then I'll distance myself a lot more and just see them now and then, because I value my time and use it wisely.
It is a natural reaction to miss something from your life, even if it did you more harm than good. Often this is a sign of healing from the past trauma, and shedding it away.
Indeed, please continue to be yourself. We will always have set backs but they are not the same as going back the way, if we don't let them! ;)
Describing that has just helped me to see when I was in that stage. One time, I found myself in a group of people with certain common interests. I was simply curious about it and let myself in. They were all very nice people, however my inner voice always told me this is the wrong place. You don't belong here for various reasons. And in fact, leaving that group was a good decision on my side as it made me question myself and distract me from mastering the game.
What you said gave me an answer that I have been searching for to the question of why I have had so many friends and left them and moved on. I think it is because the journey to authenticity for an INFJ can be very rough as we try and try again to find "our people." I am hoping that at stage 5 I will be able to so be myself that I won't feel the need to make friends from this period be ones I leave behind.
I was not allowed to develop into myself, as children should do. The family only wanted my cheery social side ALL the time, but were happy with my patience and non confrontation. Most (i leaned much later) were narcs or/and bullies. I knew they were bullies, but took the blame. My quieter side, which i rarely was allowed, was treated with huge demands and nastiness. So, i tried hard to be cheery all the time, which was utterly exhausting, along with everyone's feelings and problems. In my 30's my body was worn out, and i fell ill from the stresses by pushing through to suit everyone else. It led to long-term physical illness from long-term stress hormones, and a bad virus that shut me down for over a year, which led to more physical illnesses. I fought it for a long time, but when i decided to accept it, i realised that this gave me that quiet place and time i needed quite a lot. It helped me realise so much. Finding out my personality type quite by accident, and not believing it for some time, made the penny drop.
My personal experience with the second phase, when I was a kid other kids tried to make fun of me, and I would flip it around and make fun of them for making fun of me. Lol memory unlocked, I will say, though it did take me until my adulthood to feel like people were actually picking on me.
This almost had me in tears. I really felt like you are a friend talking to me about myself. It's so liberating to be at stage 5 now. I'm so proud of being an INFJ!
“If I’m too much, go find less.” Bam. Thank you for that one
I'm at the point in my life where I don't care if people accept me or not. I have a few friends that accept me, but I don't feel the need to have more friends. I was bullied as a kid and so I've always been wary when I first meet people. It takes me awhile to open up.
I reached phase 5 at 31. It took me long enough... 33 now and it's amazing how much can change with so little. My life is still far from epic, but at least I'm finally being true to myself and going where I want to go.
I'm sure I was oblivious for the first few years of my life but then I started getting picked on in elementary school. I didn't like it, of course, and so I started fighting back so much so that I became physically stronger, I became a bully. As I toned down and sought to escape the game, I started a new life. In my 30's I lost my marriage because I was just going through the motions and then I had to face a lot about the dysfunction of my family. And even though I began to face my issues, I still was playing the game and became so good at it that I thought I could win! Financially I did but not internally. It wasn't until my 50's that I stopped playing the game and began to really be myself. Since then, the more I show who I really am, the more "friends" I have lost to the point that half my closest friends have migrated away from me in the last two years. And, that's fine! I am pleased that I'm finally getting to be who I was meant to be and only having people who accept me means fewer interruptions in my peace. And, really, now I'm able to carry my "well-being" with me regardless of the circumstances...Thanks
I'm in stage 5, I'm 21, and I'm in the process of changing the game for me, and it's kinda leading to some epic new life changes. I'm getting the help I need, in taking opportunities and choosing for myself and others
Hi, it seems I'm in stage 4 to 5. Do you wanna be my friend?
@@maybee... I'm at stage where I'm expressing my feelings without hiding myself anymore. So, you sounded really annoying. I know you told it to BlackJack, not to me, but it's public, so:
Your condescending tone really made me upset. You can't judge it based on their age, it's so stupid. You don't even know what they've been through, also those stages are not the same for everyone.
So please....if you can't say something nice or smart, shut up ☺️
That’s pretty good.
Just reading your comment, I commend you for being able to make the decision to prioritize yourself before others - it really is the most important component of remaining content and having the capacity to enjoy life.
I'm 20, and have had many turning points for me in different countries that allowed me to make the decisions to make my life good for me, not for others. Sure, if it was possible, otherwise, the phrase "putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others" rings clear.
It can be quite hard for us at a young age to make those decisions. On the other hand, one could argue it's the easiest. Live for you, always.
@@evanhearne4020 thanks m8, the comment's appreciated
I’m currently in the fifth stage at 31 and I feel blessed to be here. I could have easily taken decades more to get here…thankfully I had an epiphany and realized that being what others want is exhausting and has brought me nothing but pain. I wish this self-acceptance for everyone!! Thank you for all you do.
Be who you are, be real, be consistent, be true. I was having a conversation with someone yesterday and we were discussing what it would be like it people became telepathic. Their first thought was that it would be bad. My comment is there would be two kinds of people. It would not be a problem for those who behave and speak as they are. They went "Yeah, so I read their thought and they told me that... Gee, that is just what they have been saying all along." "Precisely," I replied "the only ones who would have a problem would be those who have hidden agendas. Saying they are doing or wanting one thing, whilst secretly being or wanting another. Like trying to trick you or deprive you of something." They nodded in agreement. Being an INFJ means being ridiculously intuitive. Because we are so good at reading body language and signals, we sometimes seem to have the gifts of telepathy or empathy. Maybe that is true for some. Rather, I think INFJs have the potential to to be prototypes on how to cope with a world with telepathy or higher order thinking. We understand the need for consistency, concepts such as public face/private face, politeness, restraint, consideration, compassion, patience. The poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann is an example of how INFJs often choose to approach life. It makes us less scared of being who we are. Because we are so good at reading other people, we become aware that others can be that good at reading us. So we choose to have consistency and integrity across all our levels. We work on our shadow self and inner characters so the whole team is on board. Our ID becomes the rudder or captain of the ship, keeping all the other players on board and constructively contributing their part to the overall vessel's wellbeing and functioning. With break out times, because life should not be all work and no play.
I've reached stage 5 where I'm struggling with having to continue to play certain roles I don't want to play any more. Despite figuring out the different roles I just fell into weren't reflecting my true authentic self, and trying to ease my way into being more 'myself', every attempt has blown up where it was a huge failure. Unfortunately some people are so stuck and unable to do any self reflection or shadow work, rendering them unable to 'see' me and accept me in an authentic way. If I share anything that makes them uncomfortable even if it's important to me, they lash out and attack me. It's getting to the stage where I can actually see right into the soul of people and where they are hurting. I see through the facades and it seems my presence alone makes them defensive, as they know I can see them and they don't want to be seen. It's like I'm stuck in a double bind where I have to choose authenticity (and lots of conflict) or continuing to play the game by being a version of myself they expect. The only solace I have is when I'm alone where I find the inner peace and sanctuary to just be.
Yeah... you end up a hermit. 🙄
Absolutely accurate analysis of the INFJ path. I am a 50 year old male INFJ and have been through all of these steps, and currently in the throws of the final phase, which feels better than any of the others but requires the most effort and honesty.
The line that says hey will you be my friend it's happened to me a lot of time but I got rejected after listening this line , i remembered me as a 7 year old girl... Who had no friends was lonely and was a silent girl it made me feel bad for that girl ...but happy to be at stage 5 .
Great video. There is alot of complexity to how I have evolved as an INFJ, but these phases are pretty accurate. I have cycled through these phases multiple times through my life. My biggest takeaway from this video is, “If I am too much, go find someone who is less.” Yes! I aspire to having this level of confidence. 🤔
Same! We will get there.
"if im too much, go find less!" Wow! I mean if only every infj could actually do it!
I like the quote from Avatar 1.. "No one can teach you how to see".. If somebody do not see or appriciate value you bring, they probably will never see..
I'm definitely at a reset point. I love the idea to create your own game with your own rules! I'm going to write that on my board so I can read it every day!
You should.
I found out late in life, three months ago thst I am an INFJ, certainly explains everything, as an empath who has a voracious appetite for understanding the human factor, indeed….
Not knowing what people meant when they described me as a free spirit was something I didn't understand bc it was my NORMAL.
"Only the Shaman knows that culture is a game. Everyone else takes it seriously. And that's how he can do his magic."
- Terence McKenna
I am 18 and entered last phase , it's surprising how quickly we feel the things
i have been direct in asking strangers to be my friend also, i didn't realize that was a INFJ thing.
I have super close friends who say "please, never change", and acquaintances who either give me bad vibes or say "you're so different". Never thought it was about being an INFJ. Now, in my early 30s, it's all coming full circle and I'm grateful for that❤
Quite honestly im speechless as to how accurate this is going through life as a 24 year old INFJ. Feeling lost and then finding somone i thought truly understood me for who i wasand i thought cared and truly loved me having 3 kids with them only to find out 7 years later that they are a full on covert narcassist and losing myself almost completely by the end of it i had no energy left for me and since i had kids i couldnt just "Slam the door" so i kept falling to my inferior empathy and kept getting used. The amount of knowledge and life expierience in this video is amazing. And will most definetily help people of our trait get on to a life of fullfillment. From the bottom of my heart thank you.
You should do a follow up on this using the incorporation the four sides of the mind, discussing the integration of the unconscious and subconscious into the ego.
And another follow up looking at the Jungian Types and how the cognitive functions of other types are complimentary/contrasting to ours, and which types are naturally more compatible and which have natural comradery with the INFJ, and which are incompatible, which will help the INFJ more quickly filter who they should attempt to be friends with.
Up for this!
“We cannot wait for others.” 🌼”If I’m too much, go find something less.”
Two major motivations that propelled me into #5 are: the deep insight and validation of Wenzes vast knowledge, and going on a 2 week vacation where I was active every day with fun or interesting adventures. I just kept it going upon my return home, because I liked how toned my core, legs, everything, felt from 2 weeks of physical activity. I’ve now begun a rock/rope climbing course, am lifting weights again and run up stairs. Traveling alone, dropping yourself into another country with a very different terrain, language & culture keeps one’s brain sharp. And, of course, I love the novelty❣️
Loved this video! I have lived all these stages and stage 4 led me to feeling burnout with my career and with life as I was living it. So transitioning to stage 5 was not easy at first but 4 years on and thanks to help from people like yourself, it is getting easier daily and starting to fit me like a glove. Its like an animal shedding its skin. I feel freer to be myself and the person underneath that dead skin. I am starting to build my epic life!
Your videos have been life-changing for me and I am on a journey of evolution! Thanks to you, I am leaning into my INFJ nature and pursuing opportunities to reach that epic life, including starting a UA-cam channel. Keep doing what you do, Wenzes!
I answer questions and give advice to Quora, but I don't get paid for it. I don't know how to start my own business.
I am almost on my stage 5...And I felt tremendously out of place and depressed... Glad that this video popped on time. 💖
Thank you wenzes for sharing your authenticity and your powerful, unique insights on sharing we as INFJs need to step our game on this life by being the best version of ourselves. Whenever I watched your videos everyday it's like an assurance of "I made this transformation happen a few years ago, you can definitely do this amazingly well" 😍😍 fight fight fellow INFJs
Thank you INFJ’s, for who you have been, who you ARE and please keep having the courage to not dim your own light! 💚
I wanted to comment to say that I came into the world this way. I started at your step 2. LoL There are some of us out there that did. Again even more rare than what you’re saying probably. It’s a rough life but rewarding now that I know what’s really going on. Much love to you for what you do!! Thank you so much!!
Yo girl. I am there. This is the first time I've heard this. It's the INFJ journey. This makes sense. This is exactly what happened to me. And now, quite old now, I am in the last stage. It took longer to get here than it might have, but we'll, I'm here at last.
are you kidding? At five I was so much looking forward to my first day of school. On the other side of the small table there was a girl and I asked her, "do you want to be my friend?" She looks at me and just stares at me, and doesn't say a word. I thought, this is not starting off very well. I still don't get it. This is the most normal question. You asked the same thing! hahaha All my life people seem to be telling me what I can and can't ask. I don't get it. It's plain rude not to respect people's questions. I don't buy it anymore.
You'd never make it with me sweetheart. A fellow INFJ at 90 years old.
Super topic! I'm in my 50s and discovered I was an infj only about a year-and-a-half ago, and it really was a defining moment, like suddenly the light bulb came on, and things made a lot more sense, like there really was a method to the madness, or that the fog lifted suddenly. I though, like a lot of others, have been through the phases, and yes every one of them we're completely on 🎯. I find phase four interesting, it's like that scene in Titanic when Rose feels very frustrated, feeling like she is surrounded by people who do not care or understand who she really is or how she feels, and Jack very poignantly and sincerely says "I see you" it was like an 'ah' moment, like who wouldn't want someone to tell them that, although it's like I relate to both of them, like Jack, I 'see' people, and like Rose, I desire to really be 'seen' . I think phase 5 is wonderful, because to me it's like, we have gone through the other phases, and have learned so much, we understand the game, and how it's played, but at the same time, I think we develop our own way of playing the game and mastering it, but I think we I constantly trying to find a way to level the playing field on our own terms, and in the process we naturally I send to a higher level. I think from me at least, the important point, is remembering that it's really always about perfecting the balance.
Wenzes, your videos are life-changing for me. Thank you. They make sense of so much.
I thought you might like this story. Yesterday I literally asked someone with whom I felt I had unusually deeply connected with, on our second meeting, if they wanted to be friends with me. I am 47. She is 42 and she said yes! We both feel like teenagers and are going to meet up soon. Having come through these levels of discernment I am free when I truly feel a connection which arises naturally with no sacrifice, and is unforced. It is truly magical to experience that kind of flow with another once it happens.
What has my "evolution" as an INFJ looked like? Well, as a young boy, not very athletic or muscular, I did get picked on from time to time by ones who were quite bigger than me and I still didn't do anything they told me to do. I won some fights, and I lost some fights. As I got older, the type of bullying I received changed from the typical school kid bullying to narcissistic verbal aggression and some micro-aggression in both personal life and professional life as well. It all happened because they were unnecessarily jealous or intimidated thinking, I was a threat when I wasn't. it still happens from time to time. Today, I have learned how to handle it better from what you teach in these videos and livestreams, reflecting on past mistakes and learning from them instead of repeating them. I continue to be me. "I'm just me". And I have also surrounded myself with good people I can trust. I spend a lot of time by myself and attaining what I need to live that epic INFJ life. I do appreciate you having this channel and sharing with us. Thank you so much.
Oh my god, this summed up my situation right now exactly!!! I got lucky enough to meet someone who sees it as a game as well and it is exhilarating lol
Funny that our superpower is both caring and not caring at the same time. Quite the paradox... but then again, we are walking paradoxes.
I identified myself at stage 4, going to 5. I feel I'm near a bottleneck. Im confuse but at the same time I'm clear, dk. I've written my first ebook, I'm saving to move in with my boyfriend in July, I'm more braver. I'm dancing and singing at street louder and more outgoing-ly. And I can identify people who's playing the game, sometimes I want to help, other times I just feel bad about my past self.
What I'm currently struggling is my money worries, I know this is related to my lack of self trust, just talking about it makes me tense. Today I thought about switching jobs all morning, but I know this is my need of adventure, my need for chaos speeking.
I want to add this chaos to my life, but lately I just feel tired not sure why.
My general health is a mess, so I actually I know why.
So....what really makes me upset is that I want lots of things and I envy those who like specific things.
I'm into content creation, but I barely create content, now that I'm improving at it.
But even at content creation I'm not sure....
I just want to know what is the lost link, I know that my lack of clarity is rooted in something else.
Also I decided to be more honest and sincere about my feelings. Time to go fully vulnerable.
Do you wanna be my friend is the main takeaway from this video thanks
A few years back when someone pointed out how i was weird or different i felt like something was wrong with me and would retreat inwards but now i don't even wait for someone to mention it, I do it myself😂
There's nothing wrong with you!You're just different and that's okay
I absolutely loved this. Made me feel very encouraged today. Thank-you so much.
As we enter the Age of Aquarius, this is INFJ's time to showcase our innovative skills and be appreciated.
I remember, it was not a fun ride. When I saw and realized how this world works, I was discusted at how it is, but never showed it. I was finally able to see this world and people like I was under water looking up at them and their reflections. Some were ugly, some were beautiful, and everywhere else in between. This is when I felt I no longer want to play the game, where I wanted to finally play my own game. INTJs also see what we can see, I'm glad for that.
There is a lot to unpack here, and I'm taking the next week to do exactly that. Another amazing, insightful video.
What's weird is that I did not experience phase 2 as a child, but I am rather experiencing it now. My business partner picks on me so much and I am glad I found this channel because for the past weeks upon watching these videos, I now see things I wasn't hyper aware about and I understand why I have been feeling as I do. Thank you, Wende's. Love from Uganda
You are such amazing INFJ 💗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 You explained us perfectly! By the way years ago I was already on my 30’ s and asked other HSP why she didn’t want be my friend! 🤣🤣🤣 we both we re living in a Safe House! 😳
She was actually leaving and months before she tried o spooky myself by just open the door of my bedroom😂😳😊then they call us weird! 🤦🏻♀️
Ya...I never really learned how to play. My mind doesn't let me make the connection in conversation. So I spend a lot of time going "ok, I don't know what to say now"
Suspecting my 9yo daughter is an INFJ, and she is heading straight into phase 3 these days.
As a mom it breaks my heart. 💔
As an INFJ I’m thinking it’s a process she has to go through, but curious if you would agree! Can you skip the "playing the game" part?
Just grateful INFJs often are very "coachable", hoping I can be a good guide for her!
Actually Wenzes, it starts out holding her hand and never letting go.
I too am very appreciative for the INFJ community. I am very slow to open up about this sort of thing; and yet these other members have been inspiring with the same field of thought as well. Going beyond the necessary. Thank you. 😊
I’m close to 70 yo. I have just discovered that I’m happy with phase 5
All my life I have been bullied especially at school.
I tolerate it for so long not because I am afraid of the bully but because I am afraid of myself I
I give them as many chances as I can manage then I explode and on several occasions I have lost complete control.
I felt so bad when I realised I had to be dragged off someone before I killed them😔
They shouldn't have spat In my face to test me😡
Now I try to tell people what will happen if they continue and I also inform HR what will happen.
It works quite well.
The last time I had to inform them that I was going to snap my managers fingers if he poked me in the chest again.
They asked me to complain officially but I said let's give him a chance.
he got fired for being abusive to a customer.
To much of an overt narcissist to help.
Being an INFJ I battle with myself constantly and can be honest to the point of cruelty with people I believe are good deep down but need to stop upsetting everyone with their behaviour.
These 5 things are true lol
INFJ * True statement .
Been Bullied Been Picked on Been Misunderstood
Please pardon my language, but one of the most fracked-up things in life is a child trying to get their OWN mother to like them, or at least be ok with their existence. That was me. I knew my mother was a monster pretty early on but I found myself trying to be “good” to my mother only in order for OTHER people to think I was normal enough or ok enough to maybe be loved by THEM.
So even though I recognized my mother wasn’t going to love me early on, I only recently realized how I’d let that relationship define other ones. Going slow, but I hope I’m at least in the path to healing.
This was such an amazing video 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I really feel that you managed to cut right through and encapsulate the entire progressional process of … not only what we go through, but how we approach everything and literally just… what it feels like. You’re absolutely correct too - being aware of this terrifies the living nature out of most people. It overwhelms them. We see it as obvious facts and observations… just what we see 🤷🏽♂️ they see it as challenging the very foundation that everything they believe in is ever built upon. Because a dark insecurity that they’re never stable enough to confront in themselves. And once they see it, they can’t unsee it and it becomes something that can ultimately cause them to cripple and crumble away. It’s just too pivotal for them to handle. It causes trembling at their very feet.
I learned to play to survive. If I win at something, it's only a small victory. Also there are too many people, who can't play to game, so they try to screw up your game.
Yessss yesssss yesssss yessss yessssss. The way you just put all our experiences into words. Currently a stage 5er. Stage 5 standing ovation 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thanks Wenzes. Hearing the reinforcement of the last phase really helps. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness still hits hard, but I would rather meet it with myself authentically now than just merely mastering the game.
I am finding, I can leave a projection of my mind in a place and others will pick up the vibe I leave and complete the task. I've got the practice down to one thought of the project and no physical mention of the task. I will continue to practice my ability, I don't know what it is exactly, but I am having fun finding my way. ----Eric----
Thanks for bringing INFJ LIFE from theory to reality. We as INFJ often feel misunderstood. There you go, WENZES knows! ☺️ thank you so much.
Oh thank you so much, I finally got there at the age of 54 and I’m living my best life and super confident. Xx
I've never been bullied. I may have channeled isolation into anger. The 'door slam ' became physical instantly. No escalation, no tough talk, violence. I wasn't popular but I also wasn't someone you wanted to test. I don't love myself. I accept who I am and I'm comfortable in my own skin. I've learned that there are 8 billion people in the world and they cannot all be my friend. I have no idea what stage that is-- don't care actually. You could have used the 5 stages of grief as a paradigm as well. The labels don't matter. What dies are our delusions. That's painful. But there is life beyond them. Maybe that's stage six.
I am just eighteen and i have reached fifth level of evolution... Thats how much people showed me...🙂
Development for me feels like this. You learn the word "color" at maybe 2 yo, then at 4 you get a 4 markers set. You learn your blue, yellow, red and black. (Would be your first concepts) You grow up and lets say 8 you get a 12 pencil color box. (Contact with people that think different about the world) You can paint a better picture. You can paint green, brown, orange, purple during your teens.
And then you get an art set of 64 color professional pens, maybe at 20? (Maybe at college, professional skills or contact with colleagues) You paint shades of gray or green, one is olive, other is turquoise, other is lighter, other is darker.
And you graduate, marry, or grow or live, work, etc, your paintings get commented upon, either as good or bad, (would be your opinions and acts) but not by your 2 yo self for sure. We are more capable now!
This “could you be my friend” thing happens all the time😂 I mean you do nothing wrong but different and people go nuts😢
12:00 Love how she said that so nonchalantly and she knows she's right lol
This is insanely accurate depiction of EXACTLY what it is, and how its like. Thank you so much and much love.
What if you are at that stage where you want to go back to your old self, but you don’t know if that’s who you are anymore and you don’t know how to be that anymore🤷🏼♀️
I will say ive never been bullied since i played the game well in grade school and high school i think. Had friends in every social group since I was an artist, starting point guard of basketball team, and was good in school. Even to the point that i was voted by teachers to be peer mediator for my class. I also attended the same school from kindergarten to graduation so that helped with bonds as well. Despite that, Ive always felt different (aside from being the only black male in my class til middle school) than people my age. Emotionally more mature, more patient (almost to a fault), . In retrospect, being an only child through all this has been my saving grace, having the freedom to be pensive and disappear WHENEVER i want. It also forced me to sit on my feelings and mentalities on things, weighing scenarios and all that, so patience and empathy truly are virtues for me. Im 33 now and have just recently plateaued in thinking/worrying about/catering to others needs constantly and now am making sure IM doing what I WANT more often. My INFJ nature is so damn strong that doing this acutally balances me out. I try and catch myself as best i can lol. To this day, These vids along with Frank James vids really help me gain understanding and comfort as to why i feel certain ways at certain time.
Greatly summarised. You're the best.
This is why some people drift away it's cos they see that we see everything as just a game
Thank you. This video makes so much sense. I’m flabbergasted at how directly this applies to my own life experiences. Thanks so very very much for making and posting this.
Thank you so much. You don't know how much this has helped me. I've been trying to figure out myself for a while, and it's been a very lonely journey, but listening to your video today gave me some sort of hope to continue and push on to hopefully reach phase one again.
Out-Standing! I've been MIA 4 a bit, & now catching up on your latest. You are a Godsend. Words alone are not enough to express my gratitude to you for all you are doing for all of us here. God Bless you! Stay safe, and be well! - Ocho 8
I morphed into what people wanted me to be for most of my life. Now I don't and I am happy alone.
It is incredible how, every time i retake your channel, i can see the description astonoshingly accurate with my life.
I can only say thank you for my outburst
Wenzes you are an amazing cognitive ISFP. You're Fi-Ni convergence is very apparent as are people in the comments. ISFPs want to create a connection through authenticity as you said; I could never see an ISFP playing a supportive role! ISFPs certainly change the game. 😊
DAMN. ,my evolution was exactly how you described it. But mine I guess went a lot faster because of you. I'm turning 18 this year
Always with a sense of uplifting. Thanks :)
There's nothing wrong with you or me....Finally, for the first time you are telling me truths about myself that I was never able to put into words. Thank you....we r stepping into our power😊AMEN
Wonderful video Wenzes! The 5 stages make a lot of sense and I've found myself at different stages depending on each area of my life, for example, I was pretty militantly myself in my career which led to some conflicts with authority (in the education field), but in my real passion in the arts, I have been individualistic while still aiming for the goals the wider community sets. Recently I have come to the realization that the wider community is not worth trying to impress or trying to get in with and that I really must only follow my own path. I have spent my whole life trying to become accepted but it hasn't worked, partly because I have a habit of self sabotaging myself and then being totally frustrated. Meanwhile nobody cares or they are condescending so now I know that the only path has to be my own. No one cares when I try to follow and fail the standard way so I might as well follow my own path. I might continue to be ignored but at least I am following my own path. So again thank you so much for your insightful and inspiring videos!
Thank you.. you are surely one of the better channel helping infj grow and reach our full potential
Thank you for this.
Today 4/23/2023 I, at 52 years of age, entered stage 5. Better late than never. 😂
Strange that I see this tonight.
As a 42 y.o. INFJ, your video here reminds me of one of the closing lines in the movie War Games with a young Matthew Broderick.
"Sometimes the only way to win, is not to play."
The five steps are very real. Its incredibly lonely. I've had to literally restart my life with family, every "friend" and every earthy possession 3 times now. Luckily never married, little debt, and no kids.
Life has me looking at the opposite sex with distrust and dismissal unfortunately. Its ok though. I'm a Batchelor with and incredible amount of time and money to spend on my quirky interests and hobbies. Things that mostly lay outside the safety of the city gates.
I know all too well how weird I must seem to the "normies" I must associate with at work, etc. Eh, thats a them problem. I live for me now.
Genius once again
I needed to hear this thankyou so much.
Wenzes thankyou . I love that you made a video on this . Many great points.
I literally love you😂❤️all my life
I’ve felt alone and connected and disconnected with everyone at the same time(you get what I mean lol)but your videos have been so therapeutic and helping me navigate through life as an infj. I appreciate you so much queen