It happened to me 2 years ago and it's been 2 years or reconciliation. I have my bad days. She is totally remorseful and ashamed of her choice. She had an emotional affiar. If it was physical, she would never see me again. That played a big part in my decision in staying. But it has not been easy. The last 2 years, she has been working her ass off on our relationship and helping me heal. I do have my days. The main thing is to only stay IF IT IS WORTH IT.
I have never once seen or heard that staying in this kind of relationship has any merit whatsoever. Whether there is shared culpability is irrelevant. There will never be trust, ever again, and without trust, there can be no real relationship. The damage is done. Forever. Trying to repair it is like slapping some tar on cracks in the highway you use for your daily commute. You will always see those patched up cracks, the drive is never smooth, and eventually the patch wears out and you have to slap a new patch on and keep this up every season until the accumulative damage is just too much to patch and the road must be ripped up and replaced entirely. And even then, you and your car remember that rough road every time you drive it. You are going to have to take a different road my friend. Go watch Castaway and realize what it is about, especially at the end, when Tom Hanks' character is at the crossroads.
My issue is … how do you forget and how do you stop the scenarios in ur head .. it’s ruined the bond and it’s been five years we broke up over it & I got back.. we also have kids .. and idk, he has changed etc but I just can’t remove the visions or be ok intimately anymore people say give it time …. 🦉 p s he didn’t cheat but he went on a rampage a month after we broke up & he ran with his ego which left me broken sometimes I feel I have no right to even say anything..
You can never return t o a relationship or marriage after infidelity. Being on the receiving end of it that trust is completely dead and will always look at your partner with mistrust and disdain. You cannot fix what's broken. Couples therapy is trying to glue it together. It dosent work because it will always be broken. It will never be the same again. Separate immediately because it's the only option that's right for yourself and your partner
Hi. I understand why you might think this, but I have seen hundreds of couples heal from infidelity. Cheating absolutely does break the relationship and it destroys the trust. The trust, safety, and connection can be rebuilt if both partners want to do so. It's not easy, but it is possible. Thanks so much for your comment.
@@RepentImmediately people ain't statistics. Just because it's very unlikely you will be struck by lightning doesn't mean it's impossible. Every single individual is different so using broad statiscs of a wide population as a predictor for your personal life is unreliable
@@DrKathyNickersonI have the same question. What is the recidivism/reoffend rate? Do you follow up to find out? Also what does healing look like? I'm trying to decide if staying js worth it. My heart can't do it a second time if it happens.
I think is better to divorce. Youll always think SO is with another person. Youll always have the movies of SO having sex with AP. Those never ever leave. Avoiding a toxic relationship is better. Avoid becoming a masochist. What is the reason of your SO seeing you suffering? Just divorce and heal.
Hi Eric. It certainly is very painful, but most people (about 70%) want to stay with their partners after an affair. If both partners want to heal, they absolutely can. It takes a lot of time and work to rebuild the connection, safety, and trust... but it is possible. Thanks for your comment, I do appreciate it.
Probably this is your best if not one of the best videos you have ever made. Thank you.
It happened to me 2 years ago and it's been 2 years or reconciliation. I have my bad days. She is totally remorseful and ashamed of her choice. She had an emotional affiar. If it was physical, she would never see me again. That played a big part in my decision in staying. But it has not been easy. The last 2 years, she has been working her ass off on our relationship and helping me heal. I do have my days. The main thing is to only stay IF IT IS WORTH IT.
I stayed it was 12 yrs ago it was a mistake.
I have never once seen or heard that staying in this kind of relationship has any merit whatsoever. Whether there is shared culpability is irrelevant. There will never be trust, ever again, and without trust, there can be no real relationship. The damage is done. Forever. Trying to repair it is like slapping some tar on cracks in the highway you use for your daily commute. You will always see those patched up cracks, the drive is never smooth, and eventually the patch wears out and you have to slap a new patch on and keep this up every season until the accumulative damage is just too much to patch and the road must be ripped up and replaced entirely. And even then, you and your car remember that rough road every time you drive it. You are going to have to take a different road my friend. Go watch Castaway and realize what it is about, especially at the end, when Tom Hanks' character is at the crossroads.
Yes leave infact run as fast and far as you can
My issue is … how do you forget and how do you stop the scenarios in ur head .. it’s ruined the bond and it’s been five years we broke up over it & I got back.. we also have kids .. and idk, he has changed etc but I just can’t remove the visions or be ok intimately anymore people say give it time …. 🦉 p s he didn’t cheat but he went on a rampage a month after we broke up & he ran with his ego which left me broken sometimes I feel I have no right to even say anything..
I love your videos & your vibe. Thank you for being the voice of reason & guidance in these uncharted waters.
Thank you, that's my goal. :)
You can never return t o a relationship or marriage after infidelity. Being on the receiving end of it that trust is completely dead and will always look at your partner with mistrust and disdain.
You cannot fix what's broken. Couples therapy is trying to glue it together. It dosent work because it will always be broken. It will never be the same again. Separate immediately because it's the only option that's right for yourself and your partner
Hi. I understand why you might think this, but I have seen hundreds of couples heal from infidelity. Cheating absolutely does break the relationship and it destroys the trust. The trust, safety, and connection can be rebuilt if both partners want to do so. It's not easy, but it is possible. Thanks so much for your comment.
@@DrKathyNickersondefine "heal"....also, what is the rate of recidivism for healed couples?
@@RepentImmediately people ain't statistics. Just because it's very unlikely you will be struck by lightning doesn't mean it's impossible. Every single individual is different so using broad statiscs of a wide population as a predictor for your personal life is unreliable
@@DrKathyNickersonI have the same question. What is the recidivism/reoffend rate? Do you follow up to find out?
Also what does healing look like?
I'm trying to decide if staying js worth it. My heart can't do it a second time if it happens.
I think is better to divorce. Youll always think SO is with another person. Youll always have the movies of SO having sex with AP. Those never ever leave. Avoiding a toxic relationship is better. Avoid becoming a masochist. What is the reason of your SO seeing you suffering? Just divorce and heal.
Hi Eric. It certainly is very painful, but most people (about 70%) want to stay with their partners after an affair. If both partners want to heal, they absolutely can. It takes a lot of time and work to rebuild the connection, safety, and trust... but it is possible. Thanks for your comment, I do appreciate it.