My mother died in my arms; I kissed her and told her how much I loved her. I thanked her for adopting me when I was 3 months old. I felt her "leaving" while she was in my arms, that was on my 30th birthday. I haven't celebrated my birthday on 34 years. RIP mommy ❤️
I am so sorry to hear of your tremendous loss. How special and beautiful your bond sounds. Why don't you celebrate your birthday in her honor? That had to be the most special day of her life! You, precious y♡u! 💖 Making her dreams come true. The one person that she loved without condition. You are part of her, celebrate that! I'm sorry she had to part on your birthday. The two of you gave each other precious years and moments together. At least consider the anniversary of your adoption or the day you came into her life. What a magnificent day that was and no one else could have filled her life with more indescribable joy than you. You've mourned in sadness and loss long enough. Celebrate her life for the love you filled her heart with and she beautifully wrapped you in.
Your statement about "sharing too much" about death hit me like a slap across the face. In a time where people share truly EVERYTHING on social media, it is mind boggling to me that the death journey would be considered out of bounds. This is EXACTLY what people need to see. Bless you, Kathy and your son for sharing such beautifully intimate moments. ❤️
People share such superficial, stupid things such as their lunch, but not deeply personal and important things such as love and loss. Out society is upside down. Left is right, good is bad, up is down.
Amen. While most share too much about their life, why not show death as well? I really donot understand why in some places death is not spoken of widely or documented and why it is taboo to some? Maybe some feel it is forbidden? I hear folks talking about that alot.
people dont want to acknowledge the reality that we will die they dont want to acknowledge there time in this world is limited it would cause lots of people an existential crisis they want to pretend they will live forever
@@marys3127 albeit this comment is old. But you’re genuinely wrong. You just focus on the negative of what’s out there. Mainly because you’re a symptom of it. You’re not doing anything make anything better. Your comment is stupid and superficial. Zero depth. Zero accountability.
You fulfilled her wishes to let people know what it is like. Anytime you can fulfill someone’s final wishes, that is a true blessing. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I want to thank you for sharing this. I’ve always felt so guilty when I woke up and I could hear her still breathing and I cried and thought “I wish she would die”. She had been unconscious for five days, she is not coming back, and emotionally I was at my limit. You don’t ever want your loved one to die but when they are at deaths door and you know they aren’t coming back you just want their suffering to end. And honestly, you just want your own suffering to end. Thank you💛
Thank you for sharing your experience, this really resonated with me. When I was a little kid, I watched my great-grandmother suffer for 4 years after having a debilitating stroke. She used to tell us that you couldn't wait for God to take her away, and I often thought of how I couldn't wait for her to die as well. For years after she passed I felt guilty. Your post really help me though.
What a truly beautiful story. My husband passed away in my arms on April 9, 2019. We were together 21 years, since we were both 17. We experienced life, love, and death together. I felt very special having been the only one there while his soul transcended. I miss you more than you will ever know. I long for your touch and to just hear your voice. Our love transcends space and time. Truly soulmates. 💜🕊️Hector Gianni Torres🕊️💜
I'm a CNA and I've heard the death rattle more times than I can count. I took care of a little couple that had been married for 72 years. She died 1st and then he died 37 days later. It broke my ♥ I loved them so very much.
I wasn't there when my husband died suddenly, but I had to identify his body. I took a picture of him because I knew it was the last time I would see him. He looked just like he was sleeping. I felt so ashamed for taking a picture of him, though. Did people do that, I wondered. I just couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again. I've not shared the picture with anyone. Maybe some day I will. Thank you for documenting your loved one's passing. Death is a part of life. Peace and love to you and your family.
There is a group on Facebook , “turning the page post Mortem” people sharing stories of grief and or photos of their deceased family. We all support one another and it helps through the grief process to share with those who understand. It’s the most beautiful group I’ve ever been a part of “oddly” so much love and healing.
Many people took post mortem photos in Victorian times and the early 20th century. I wanted to take one of my mother but did not, I regret it to this day. We all process our grief in different ways.
It used to be common practice to photograph loved ones after they passed in the mid to late 1800s. It wasn't seen as anything to be ashamed of, and you should not feel that way either. My condolences on your loss.
It's great you thought to take a picture. Now you have a one in a lifetime souvenir. It's intimate and deep. Think you didn't take it. You wouldn't have this opportunity to turn back time. Treasure it. I wish I took many more photos of my son. I envy you.
My phone battery was at 6% when I got a notification of this New Yorker video. Being a widow myself, at my husband's side when he passed, I was intrigued. My screen went dark at 5%. I momentarily thought of putting it on the charger or switching the battery, but I didn't want to pause, however briefly. I listened to the entire video, sound only. It was a very personal experience for me. I was there, it was 11:50 PM, August 10th, 2012, hearing his death rattle, making a call to the hospice nurse, then to my daughter to come over, quickly please. I will watch it again, this time with a fresh battery, but I suspect it won't be the same. Thank you for doing this. It was a gift.
It was my bonus Dad, for me. I’ll never forget the sound of how his breath changed. Powerful strong piece. Thank you for the honesty. Especially for those, who have never experienced this~ to understand a little bit more
I lost my mother about a month after Kathy passed away. Mom had the same cancer Kathy had. I had to educate myself on what to expect, but if I’d known this documentary of sorts was available, I don’t know how that would have changed my experience…but I would have understood so much more about my mom’s transition. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to be part of this with you. ❤️💔❤️
I’m sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I had to educate myself and learn to do many things. In retrospective, I too wish I learned about Kathy’s story to have a bit of a different perspective.
As a nurse, this is so heartbreaking yet absolutely needed. I’ve worked hospice and I’ve always said that when you are witnessing someone actively passing, it’s as close to God without yourself passing. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray for peace and a beautiful life for you and your son.
I sat with a love one who was passing, at the time of death peace just filled the room. It was very peaceful, heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. We were all able to be blessed with the chance to say our goodbyes.
I completely agree. Having worked as a nurse myself, I do believe that this video needed to be shown on so many levels. Bless this family for including us in their journey.
The most authentic week in my life was the one I spent with my mother while she was dying. I hope I helped her leave this world with the knowledge of how much she was loved and valued. She took her last breath in my arms. She taught me not to fear of death
I cared for my partner for 3 years as he struggled end-stage renal failure and then decided in the end to stop all treatment. I had the same experience in regard to fighting like a tiger to save him and then wondering when he would just die and it would finally be over, and then feeling horrified my own thoughts. He died in my arms 12 years ago after a 20-year relationship.... and I had to re-learn how to live as an individual. Sending love to you.
@@creamerasant Tibetans and Nepalese embrace death fearlessly. They spend three or four days grieving with the corpse and letting out their emotions. It's touching but strange to Westerners.
There is no fear for those in Christ, Jesus. Who lowered Himself willingly, to come here to suffer & die a horrendous death, for all of us.🎚 His conquering death, means we can live on Forever w/Him, in His Great, & _Perfect_ Heaven. Where there will be no sickness, or anything negative/bad, ever, let alone death. For anyone, or anything. All forms of suffering...physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, will be no longer. *The purest of love, peace & joy, will be ours.* _Forevermore._ In a pure & perfect Paradise, He promised, to all who are His. *_If_*_ we choose it/Him._ Seems a no brainer. Anyone can know this & His Truth for themselves. Simply ask Jesus to Reveal Himself to you.🕊 He never refuses a sincere heart. Choose wisely.
@Icia Jay: ~ Right? When did Western Culture teach us HOW to die or help in dying? Never! If only America understood "we never die or disappear in to the Universe" We only step aside, out of this exhausting shell. She is still with us ~
This moved me to tears. I lost my mom to cancer in 2016. It is scary and people become shocked by your appearance but I actually wish I had more pictures of her during her last year. Her smile and amazing attitude during the whole thing I wish I could see more of than just my memories.
Omg---that was the sound that my mother had hours before she died. I never knew that was the infamous "death rattle". Thank you so much for this video--in some ways it helps me grieve my mother's death for the first time in a more purposeful and reflective manner. Can't believe it's taken this many years---and a UA-cam suggestion, but I'm very much thankful.
Death is as natural as birth is,we just don’t want to acknowledge this facts of life.Thank you for sharing your love and the struggle of loosing your wife,I am familiar to the feeling more often then I like to ,compassion is the tool that helps us care and we turn into better and stronger people when we choose to help our loved ones .
When I was 14 my mom got cervical cancer. I was her primary helper. I was so young and didn’t know how to process any of it. Western culture is terrible at dealing with death. I saw all of our friends disappear the worse that she got. She had put me in charge of not letting anyone give her any pain medications or unnecessary surgery. It was extremely difficult to have any medical professionals take me seriously. I was just trying to follow her final wishes. In the end it became to much for me with little support. She eventually was omitted to the hospital. At that point it was out of my hands. I so wish that we had someone there like this brave woman to help us enjoy her remaining time together. She passed when I was 15 years old. The biggest feeling I had over all it was relief not to see her suffering anymore and extreme guilt for not being stronger mentally and emotionally to help her through the transition with out my bull shit fears. I wish everyday that I could go back and do things differently. She was the most amazing person that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. All I can do now as adult is be there for my kids the way she was there for me. Thank you so much for sharing these heart touching moments with us. You and your wife have touched so many with sharing your journey. 💜
Elise, your experience is very close to my own. I was 12 when my mother died of Lou Gehrig's disease. My father and I were her primary caretakers almost to the very end. It was too much to put on a child. And you were a child too. I was in my early twenties when I finally acknowledged and dealt with the guilt that I had, and found some compassion for myself. I wish you well.
I’m glad you shared these intimate times publicly. I have been a nurse for 30 years. I absolutely agree people need to see this. It does kind of answer some questions for many. When people don’t know what to EXPECT, fear will nearly cripple them. My daddy died of cancer January 24th 2010. I had my head laying across his belly and was holding his hand as we both slept. I was holding his hand when he died (and was asleep) people do not understand how Thankful I was that he died and I didn’t even know it until my brother woke me up. THATS HOW PEACEFUL MY PRECIOUS DADDY LEFT THIS EARTH.❤️❤️❤️❤️
This made me cry. Her face at the end was so beautiful and reminded me of when my mum died of cancer at 59 on September 27th 2018. Her face was exactly like Cathy’s and laying in the same position as well. The only peace you can get is knowing she is no longer in pain. Life is so cruel and short.
True that! Tell this to @SonNeverSets above! I was pronounced dead in a 12 car pile up. The tough part was being brought back! If only we could learn to live life without fear, We would all understand the reality of your visitation dreams !!!
I was with my dad when he took his last breath,it was so peaceful, on his first anniversary I asked my angels to wake me at the time he passed away I didnt wake at the time I wanted but didnt think nothing of it,I feel asleep again and dreamt my dad walked into my room and said I am here which I replied i know you are then I woke up I guess the angles went one better 😌
Very soon after my mother's death. My sister's and I brushed her hair, bathed her and changed her clothes. She looked like the regal goddess, that she was...
Beautiful! I helped our funeral director with my mom, putting on her makeup just right so it looked as it did when she put it on herself, not too much, and we fixed her hair. The funeral director said that many people do that. Two of my friends were a bit shocked, but another confessed to doing the same for her husband. I cared for her when she was alive, why shouldn't I help care for her after she passed?
This is great that both of yourself and Kathy have been able and wished to be open about the dying process along with your continuing relationship together. I was with my mum in her dying process as I tried to be there in her vibrant life before . Love to you and Kathy
Every thing you did was appropriate - because it is/was your and Kathy's life. I appreciate you posting what it's like to live with dying. Beautiful contribution and story. Thank you.
I’ve been a nurse for 12 years, ICU & ED, this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine being in this moment, she seemed like an absolutely wonderful person, I’m so sorry for your loss.
My family takes a photo of our loved ones in their casket. Do you do the same in your family? I will say I donot like it because they donot look like them. But I wouldve loved to have taken a picture of my grandma moments after she passed. May you be comforted each and everyday with her image. ❤️
My family and I took a picture with my baby sister after she passed. She was 11. It’s heartbreaking and I haven’t looked at that picture in years, but for some reason, I find comfort in knowing I have that photo of us. What’s more important than that, is just remembering that we were there for her in her last moments on Earth. She knew she was (and still is loved.) she will always be important to us. Keep the memories of your mom close to your heart. You’ll always have the vision of her in her last moments in your memory. Much love, prayers and support to you
Wow shiboof I saw the and had the same reaction. When my dad died I was there . Immediately when he died his face was so peaceful, no stress, worry and pain free.
Thank you for doing this. My dad's funeral was today. Which would've been his 79th birthday. I am grateful to say I was with my dad for his final 5 days and nights making sure he was comfortable and not alone. I also took pix of him after he passed on. I wanted to share with my brother who couldn't be there. I was glad to come across your story. It was comforting to compare my experience and see my dad's death was very "normal"
I think you and Kathy gave us all an invaluable gift. I was with both of my parents at the moment of their deaths, and I can honestly say there was no palpable difference between the minutes before and the minutes after. What a brave thing you two did. Peace, Kim.
My Mum died from Ovarian Cancer too and I wish that I had thought to take some pictures and videos of her. Unfortunately I was in deep shock and denial about what was happening. Watching this was bittersweet ❤
At age 62, my dad was in intensive care for post-stroke conditions. Only one person at a time was allowed in to see him. After a short conversation, I had gently said, "Dad, you know you are dying." His last words to me were, "Just shut up about it."
This reminds me of my mother’s death. It was a good death. All of the family were there off and on all of the last week she was in hospice. She never had pain, thanks to the wonderful nurses. We laughed, played music, talked until the last day when she slept most of the time. The death rattle came and we knew. Yes it was beyond sad but still she was 87. It was a good death.
When my dad was dying I scrawled for hours looking for anything that would prepare me ... I'm so glad videos like this exist .. it makes you feel less scared and more prepared ❤️
My heart is right there with you. My partner passed after nearly 2 years with cancer. We were together 15 years..I've been single over 16. Blessings to you.. her last words were "I'm not going to have a birthday this year am i?"
What a beautiful way to honor her wife and her process. And yes, it's important for people to face death as a milestone in every body's experience. So touched and so thankful for this sharing.
Thank you for sharing. My sister, brother and I just went through this with our mom, and we listened to her death rattle as you described, and when her breathing got shallow, we all gathered around her and talked to her. She also let out a final sigh, and was gone. Death is part of living and everyone should have someone with them, if possible, when they are in the process of dying. .
I am not twitter savvy, so I've just heard your story for the first time. I lost my best friend to uterine cancer 5 years ago, and she was so upset that none of her family would let her talk about dying. I adore her family; I am an honorary member, having no extended family of my own. It was so hard, but I let her talk freely about what she wanted. No one would let her say goodbye. I saw her the day before she died, and then right after. The day before, she was too weak to open her eyes, and there was some pretty significant infrastructure changes, but she still enjoyed an orange popsicle that I brought for her and fed it to her. I have not always been a good friend. Two of my bridesmaids died of cancer, and I am ashamed that I was a coward and steered clear of them. My sweet friend let me make an amends for my previous inactions, and she in turn, shared her most intimate feelings with me. I am so glad to have come across this video, to learn that it's not about doing stuff; it's about being there. God bless you Kim & Greyson.
I had never heard an actual death rattle and when my mom transitioned and went through this it made me upset . I didn't understand, and when the noise stopped, she was gone. Thank you for sharing. I hope she knew that I was just hopelessly at a loss of how to assist, to let go. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you both. I love you Mom. Rest Peacefully 💖
When you hear the "death rattle" you know passing is close. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer. Such a hard thing to experience. Most people haven't watched a death. It Stays with you forever ❤ God bless Kathy and all the loved ones lost 🙏
My mum died of ovarian cancer and we spent everyday of the last 6 months of her life together. Yes there was utter sadness and grief but there was also humour and joy and learning and so much love. As she died I got to thank her for my life. Please don’t be afraid to be with the people you love when they die. It’s life changing and love affirming.
For anyone who has been with a loved one upon death... It's not easy or pretty. Each journey will be different but for those of us that are willing to stay, it changes our lifes views forever. Sending you love and prayers.
I was a caregiver for both of my in laws. They were diagnosed with their cancers a month apart. My mother in law passed in Jan 2016. My father in law in Oct 2017. It was an excruciating painful journey for them and for us. Although we miss them, we're glad they are no longer in pain. I think American society needs to honor death more and I appreciate these two women who shared their journey with us.
I lost my Mom earlier this month. I had been so afraid of seeing death up close but in the end, I was so glad I was there for her. I wish I could have watched this video beforehand to know what to expect. I’m thankful she wasn’t in pain and knew I was there and able to send her off with immense love. RIP to your wonderful wife and thank you for being so open to break the stigma.
This helped me so.....much I was battling Cancer at this time and her bravery gave me strength and the ability to accept it if I too dont make it. Thank you both for this unselfish gift given unto me.
Thank you for sharing.. My mother died in my home on hospice from Cancer in 2018. I had seen death, but never saw it so close and intimate as I did when my mother was dying. What really sank my heart is when your wife said she was on a magic carpet ride. My mom said the same thing when she was actively dying. I also have photos and videos of my mother, I have not shared them publicly (not her wishes) but they are for me.. For me to remember what she suffered during cancer. It will never be forgotten. Ever. Much love, and thank you for sharing and your wife was so brave!
Thank you for this. I've been a Hospice nurse for over a decade and this is what I have watched people go through with death for many years. It's something people want to keep quiet but it's a part of life. This is why people don't know what to expect when death approaches is bc we keep it too hidden.
To have a loving partner care for you while you die is a blessing like no other. To share fully and openly, bared to the soul, love til the end and be with you as you transition to the next plane is the truest act of human love there is. How beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.💗
You know when I saw the title I thought like some others “why? That’s disrespectful, what does she want, sympathy, praise?”. But then I listened to your words, your reasons, your love and compassion, that you were even thinking of others during such a hard time, and you did this so, so well, both of you. Thank you for teaching us, and for letting us into your lives. I’m sorry you both had to go through this x
As a person with a chronic fatal disease … sometimes we don’t want to be told we’re strong. We’re brave. It puts too much pressure on us when we ultimately do get to the end. We feel like failures. That you guys put your trust in us to beat it when it was never a battle to be won. Ps. Thank you for loving her as much as you do. And thank you for letting us get to know her ❤
This is just one of the most beautiful things someone could do for the loved one who’s decided to “put that out there”. Your tender treatment of your story is sweetness and light. Thank you for sharing. 💚
What a thoughtful last gift, to share one’s dying online to take the fear and mystery out of it for those who have not yet had to deal with it. We all will some day.
I lost my sister at age 60 to ovarian cancer. She had it for 7 years. We never talked about her dying. It was always about the next treatment, a new drug, have hope, etc. She was scared and we just never talked about. Maybe we should have.
Thank you for sharing. As a former community RN, home hospice was one of the best things I could provide for my patients and their families. We just don't educate enough on death and dying. Providing what is needed to make a loved one feel safe and cared for throughout this process may be very difficult but it is an incredible gift. May her memory be a blessing.
That's morbid but touching at the same time. Death is such a taboo topic to discuss but necessary. Thank you for sharing your beautiful partner and your journey with us. Hope she is peaceful.
This is beautiful and touching !! As a former hospice nurse, this is the exact moments i have been blessed to share with families and so wonderful you have shared this for others to see
Kim, thank you for sharing this painful, sad time. After losing my husband in a car wreck, May 15, 2014, I was told numerous times that death is a part of life. You cannot have one without the other. However, people show all aspects of their life, but far less about death. My soul cries for your loss. Pay no mind to the folks that say anything negative about your posts.
Words can’t adequately express how grateful I am - for so many reasons - that you all made the decision to share this last part of Kathy’s journey. Thank you, so very much.
The approach all of you took was absolutely great. Full of love, dignity, fairness, noble. Yes, exactly such are our last days, and there is something holly to be able to take a part in this with our beloved ones. My deepest condolences. And big respect.
Thank you. I was so lonely when my mother died of long-term cancer. I was 17 at the time. This was a long time ago now, but the stigma has not been fully been eradicated. Thank you for pushing the envelope. Peace
This is heartbreaking and fabulous...the courage Kathy showed in allowing us into the last days of her life...and you for helping us to cope better with our own mortality. My Dad passed in 2011...I was with him...and felt very honored to see his last breath. Thank you so much.
It is a privilege to be with a loved one, when they are dying and the moment they die. My Mother took two weeks to die and was frightened , grumpy, elated, confused and sweet. At least twice she saw her past loved ones calling her and pointed them out to us. But she said, oh Ive got to go, but is everyone here ok? She waited until she has seen everyone. Her death rattles were so strong one night, I got a fright, but at the end,( dawn), I told her it was a cold morning and everyone was waiting for her on the other side. I said, "oh Mum, it looks like one of the cold windy days, everyones waiting for you, why don't you go?" She sighed resignedly and that was that. It made it so much easier to see the process.
I thank you and Kathy being so candid. I was present throughout my mother's cancer treatment right up until her death.I SO identified with your conflicting thoughts of wanting Kathy to stay vs. wanting to get her dying over with. Those thoughts for me were born out of moments of selfishness; I couldn't bear the pain of waiting in limbo. As you well know, it's no easy task to watch someone you love dying by the day, the hour, and finally, by the moments. .
This was truly beautiful. True love is being there through the best and worst of times. I lost my mother to colon cancer. Twenty-five years later I’m still processing things. I wish I had access to something as profound as this to help me. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless you, Kathy and your entire family.
So important. The breathing change and the death rattle, then that last breath, so helpful. I wish I had this info for when my own precious mama needed me with her. Thank you so very much. You show what we-all need to stay grounded, here when our loved one must leave. True love ways!
What an interesting and valuable video. Thank you so much. The sweetest and most moving thing in the whole video was that before you took the last picture, you did her hair. Love, sigh.
So beautifully moving. Death is not only not talked about, but scary…scary because we are greedy… greedy in our love that wants to keep our dear loved ones with us despite the fact that their time has run out. Thank you for sharing this, it must have been very difficult but I get it.🙏🏻💜
It's been no more than 150 years since it was completely normal for a family to tend to their loved one's body after death. I sat with my Grandma Bradley as she passed away. It felt like standing an honor guard. I was proud to do it, as much as it hurt. I hope that people can hear stories like this and regain their sense of belonging in the process of the death of a loved one. I also helped with my father, whose death was more difficult, but for some time my sister and I and my nephew sat around his bed and sang songs that we knew he loved. It was the one time in his last days that he was quiet and seemed at peace without being sedated into oblivion. We cherish the soul and the body that was the house of that soul for so long. We are truly honored to be with both in the hours before and after death.
I watched my mom die of cancer. I enjoyed the process of “knowing” and being able to be there for her for the death process. I miss her and sometimes cry but am happy to have been there in the end and know I will see her again.
Thank you Kim for sharing your experiences with Kathy's death and grief during the terminal phase of her life. I found it extremely relatable and deeply touching. May you find the strength to bear her loss.
My mom was the first dead person that I saw. But it wasn’t just a person, it was my mom. This powerful and loving woman that once lit up every room that she stepped into. A beautiful woman that birthed and raised 9 kids. That taught me my go-getter and optimistic mentality. Then to see her frail and dead on the hospital bed was and still to this day is so hard to accept. The shock and disbelief. A hurt like no other. I felt as though a part of my childhood innocence went with her. The first person that I shared an everlasting bond with. My mom, was the only person that no matter how old I got was still in her eyes, be her baby girl. It’s been 3 years and it still hurts.
Instead of letting sadness be the predominant emotion when someone you love dies, it should be admiring their courage and how brave they were. This story emulates that.
As a medical professional working in intensive care unit, I have seen the many facets of death and dying way too many times. We are trained to treat the disease and prevent death that, sometimes, it's hard to step back and embrace the ultimate end. We have become so mechanized in dealing with the disease and forget about the human being. Palliative Medicine has become more and more present in our world to make sure we don't lose touch of the soul of the person we are dealing with. Thank you so much for enlightening the world on this. Sometimes, the battle isn't lost when you face death. It's a triumph when you face death peacefully and with dignity.
People share the most inappropriate intimate moments on TV, Movies, and various social media accounts, why not share something intimate that is so natural. That should to be discussed openly with any hesitation. Thank you very much for this information. You made a great sacrifice and helped me be more open. I will then be more open with my family and hope it continues.
Thank you. That was amazing. I have stage 4 cancer. I have searched and wanted to share more about the journey to death. I call it transition. I've found that conversations about death is a lonely space. No one in family, friends wish to have THAT discussion. Many of my friends and family wont even visit. I know it's fears that keep them away. I get it. But to die is a part of life. And Americans are one of the more established countries that have the biggest negatives about it. We need these kind of stories, to eliminate the stigma that to die is nothing to ne fearful of, it should be an expression of love to honor this life as it transcends to whatever comes next. Again, thank you. Blessings to you and your son, through your healing, remember the love.
This was respectful and beautiful thank you I went through this many years ago with my mum and it was very lonely and scary so bless you and her for sharing this
I lost mum in April to lung cancer that spread to the brain and her tumours were haemorrhaging.. That call she was passing came at 2am after she was only admitted for scans saying she had maybe hours, hours turned into 10 days and when I heard that part you shared with the death rattle it took me back, mums lasted almost 5 days and was soooo hard to witness however leaving your loved one isn’t an option.. You both have done such an amazing job documenting this journey and I believe you have helped an abundance of people that watch this, I now think of things in a different light but also in saying that I really understood that some days you couldn’t handle the thought of losing your wife and others you wished it wouldn’t drag out the suffering and I really went through the exact same thing and thought process with mum.. I wish we had more ppl like you in this world that aren’t afraid to a go w what’s important to understand in this world rather than the vain & unnecessary things this day and age chose to find important.. Thanks you again and god bless you and your family 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 What a beautiful way to share such a hard and hurtful time, absolutely appreciate you and your courage ❤💯
Thank you so much, Kim....for sharing this.....I have been so deeply depressed , the last couple of days, since I watched dying patients at a hospice .... They seemed to be gasping for breath , like poor , dying fish....and it really upset me... I was with my dying mother and though her breathing was somewhat rattly , she didnt seem to be in anguish ....I was so relieved to see Kathy's breathing before she died, cos , like my mother, her breathing was indeed, louder, but she didnt have a frown or an anxious look of cant get breath, on her....This video has calmed me a lot.... Ty again ..It was superbly done ....real and dignified, at the same time
My mother died in my arms; I kissed her and told her how much I loved her. I thanked her for adopting me when I was 3 months old. I felt her "leaving" while she was in my arms, that was on my 30th birthday. I haven't celebrated my birthday on 34 years. RIP mommy ❤️
I am so sorry to hear of your tremendous loss. How special and beautiful your bond sounds.
Why don't you celebrate your birthday in her honor? That had to be the most special day of her life! You, precious y♡u! 💖 Making her dreams come true. The one person that she loved without condition. You are part of her, celebrate that! I'm sorry she had to part on your birthday. The two of you gave each other precious years and moments together. At least consider the anniversary of your adoption or the day you came into her life. What a magnificent day that was and no one else could have filled her life with more indescribable joy than you. You've mourned in sadness and loss long enough. Celebrate her life for the love you filled her heart with and she beautifully wrapped you in.
😢😢😢 sorry for your loss
She would want you to celebrate your Birthday.
God bless u 🙏 ❤️
I am so sorry for your loss 😭😭
Your statement about "sharing too much" about death hit me like a slap across the face. In a time where people share truly EVERYTHING on social media, it is mind boggling to me that the death journey would be considered out of bounds. This is EXACTLY what people need to see. Bless you, Kathy and your son for sharing such beautifully intimate moments. ❤️
People share such superficial, stupid things such as their lunch, but not deeply personal and important things such as love and loss. Out society is upside down. Left is right, good is bad, up is down.
Amen. While most share too much about their life, why not show death as well? I really donot understand why in some places death is not spoken of widely or documented and why it is taboo to some? Maybe some feel it is forbidden? I hear folks talking about that alot.
people dont want to acknowledge the reality that we will die they dont want to acknowledge there time in this world is limited it would cause lots of people an existential crisis they want to pretend they will live forever
@@marys3127 albeit this comment is old. But you’re genuinely wrong. You just focus on the negative of what’s out there. Mainly because you’re a symptom of it. You’re not doing anything make anything better. Your comment is stupid and superficial. Zero depth. Zero accountability.
She was addressing the people who always say "to much info".
Her death picture is absolutely beautiful! She's not in pain. Her face is relaxed. She has a little smile of peace.
Thanks for sharing.
She truly does look at peace 💟
You fulfilled her wishes to let people know what it is like. Anytime you can fulfill someone’s final wishes, that is a true blessing. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Beautifully done!! Realistic, but touching. Very sorry for your loss, she seems wonderful.
she looked so comfy and natural with that hand up under her chin
It shows how the loved one has a look of peace when they go to heaven
I want to thank you for sharing this. I’ve always felt so guilty when I woke up and I could hear her still breathing and I cried and thought “I wish she would die”. She had been unconscious for five days, she is not coming back, and emotionally I was at my limit. You don’t ever want your loved one to die but when they are at deaths door and you know they aren’t coming back you just want their suffering to end. And honestly, you just want your own suffering to end. Thank you💛
Beautifully and honestly stated.
Thank you for sharing your experience, this really resonated with me. When I was a little kid, I watched my great-grandmother suffer for 4 years after having a debilitating stroke. She used to tell us that you couldn't wait for God to take her away, and I often thought of how I couldn't wait for her to die as well. For years after she passed I felt guilty. Your post really help me though.
My own exact feelings. Thank u for your honesty. We understand.
As a long term care nurse, I have the honor and privilege to help people die with dignity. It’s one of the best things about being a nurse.
Thank you for doing what you do. Bless you.
Thank you❤
❤😢
♡
Thank you we need people like You.
What a truly beautiful story. My husband passed away in my arms on April 9, 2019. We were together 21 years, since we were both 17. We experienced life, love, and death together. I felt very special having been the only one there while his soul transcended.
I miss you more than you will ever know. I long for your touch and to just hear your voice. Our love transcends space and time. Truly soulmates.
💜🕊️Hector Gianni Torres🕊️💜
Your words are beautiful
Must have been a really nice guy
I'm a CNA and I've heard the death rattle more times than I can count. I took care of a little couple that had been married for 72 years. She died 1st and then he died 37 days later. It broke my ♥ I loved them so very much.
I wasn't there when my husband died suddenly, but I had to identify his body. I took a picture of him because I knew it was the last time I would see him. He looked just like he was sleeping. I felt so ashamed for taking a picture of him, though. Did people do that, I wondered. I just couldn't bear the thought of never seeing him again. I've not shared the picture with anyone. Maybe some day I will. Thank you for documenting your loved one's passing. Death is a part of life. Peace and love to you and your family.
There is a group on Facebook , “turning the page post Mortem” people sharing stories of grief and or photos of their deceased family. We all support one another and it helps through the grief process to share with those who understand. It’s the most beautiful group I’ve ever been a part of “oddly” so much love and healing.
Many people took post mortem photos in Victorian times and the early 20th century. I wanted to take one of my mother but did not, I regret it to this day. We all process our grief in different ways.
It used to be common practice to photograph loved ones after they passed in the mid to late 1800s. It wasn't seen as anything to be ashamed of, and you should not feel that way either. My condolences on your loss.
It's great you thought to take a picture. Now you have a one in a lifetime souvenir. It's intimate and deep. Think you didn't take it. You wouldn't have this opportunity to turn back time. Treasure it. I wish I took many more photos of my son. I envy you.
I wish I handled my sister's death with grace. I'm still traumatized
My phone battery was at 6% when I got a notification of this New Yorker video. Being a widow myself, at my husband's side when he passed, I was intrigued. My screen went dark at 5%. I momentarily thought of putting it on the charger or switching the battery, but I didn't want to pause, however briefly. I listened to the entire video, sound only. It was a very personal experience for me. I was there, it was 11:50 PM, August 10th, 2012, hearing his death rattle, making a call to the hospice nurse, then to my daughter to come over, quickly please. I will watch it again, this time with a fresh battery, but I suspect it won't be the same. Thank you for doing this. It was a gift.
Touching comment, that brought me back to 2010, to my dad. Thanks
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband🙏🏼😢
It was my bonus Dad, for me. I’ll never forget the sound of how his breath changed.
Powerful strong piece.
Thank you for the honesty.
Especially for those, who have never experienced this~ to understand a little bit more
💓 sending lots of love
💞💕❤️🙏
I lost my mother about a month after Kathy passed away. Mom had the same cancer Kathy had. I had to educate myself on what to expect, but if I’d known this documentary of sorts was available, I don’t know how that would have changed my experience…but I would have understood so much more about my mom’s transition. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to be part of this with you. ❤️💔❤️
I’m sorry for your loss.
I had a similar experience when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I had to educate myself and learn to do many things. In retrospective, I too wish I learned about Kathy’s story to have a bit of a different perspective.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤❤❤
I lost my mother three months ago to ovarian cancer. I too wish that I saw this video it would have given me a better understanding of what to expect.
i’m sorry for your loss 💓 sending lots of love 💓
Ovarian cancer is so devastating. It took my mom in 2015. God bless our angel moms now. You are not alone;)
As a nurse, this is so heartbreaking yet absolutely needed. I’ve worked hospice and I’ve always said that when you are witnessing someone actively passing, it’s as close to God without yourself passing. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray for peace and a beautiful life for you and your son.
Since you've seen alot of deaths. What do you think happens after death?? I'm so curious.
I sat with a love one who was passing, at the time of death peace just filled the room. It was very peaceful, heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. We were all able to be blessed with the chance to say our goodbyes.
YES, LET'S GO BRANDON!!!
I completely agree. Having worked as a nurse myself, I do believe that this video needed to be shown on so many levels. Bless this family for including us in their journey.
Another nurse, such an important video to share :)
The most authentic week in my life was the one I spent with my mother while she was dying. I hope I helped her leave this world with the knowledge of how much she was loved and valued. She took her last breath in my arms. She taught me not to fear of death
I cared for my partner for 3 years as he struggled end-stage renal failure and then decided in the end to stop all treatment. I had the same experience in regard to fighting like a tiger to save him and then wondering when he would just die and it would finally be over, and then feeling horrified my own thoughts. He died in my arms 12 years ago after a 20-year relationship.... and I had to re-learn how to live as an individual. Sending love to you.
So beautiful man
@@yojiviriak675 thank you
Thanks for sharing that. X
@@AndreDMalan1966 My sincerest condolences... 🤍🙏🏾😥
@@michaeld.williamsiii9026 Thank you.
Western culture fears death so much it cripples us to enjoy the last days of loved ones.
Most cultures...
@@creamerasant Tibetans and Nepalese embrace death fearlessly. They spend three or four days grieving with the corpse and letting out their emotions. It's touching but strange to Westerners.
I never thought of this before reading your comment. Thank you so much.
There is no fear for those in Christ, Jesus.
Who lowered Himself willingly, to come here to suffer & die a horrendous death, for all of us.🎚
His conquering death, means we can live on Forever w/Him, in His Great, & _Perfect_ Heaven.
Where there will be no sickness, or anything negative/bad, ever, let alone death. For anyone, or anything.
All forms of suffering...physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, will be no longer. *The purest of love, peace & joy, will be ours.* _Forevermore._
In a pure & perfect Paradise, He promised, to all who are His.
*_If_*_ we choose it/Him._
Seems a no brainer.
Anyone can know this & His Truth for themselves. Simply ask Jesus to Reveal Himself to you.🕊 He never refuses a sincere heart.
Choose wisely.
@Icia Jay: ~ Right? When did Western Culture teach us HOW to die or help in dying? Never! If only America understood "we never die or disappear in to the Universe" We only step aside, out of this exhausting shell. She is still with us ~
This moved me to tears. I lost my mom to cancer in 2016. It is scary and people become shocked by your appearance but I actually wish I had more pictures of her during her last year. Her smile and amazing attitude during the whole thing I wish I could see more of than just my memories.
Omg---that was the sound that my mother had hours before she died. I never knew that was the infamous "death rattle". Thank you so much for this video--in some ways it helps me grieve my mother's death for the first time in a more purposeful and reflective manner. Can't believe it's taken this many years---and a UA-cam suggestion, but I'm very much thankful.
Death is as natural as birth is,we just don’t want to acknowledge this facts of life.Thank you for sharing your love and the struggle of loosing your wife,I am familiar to the feeling more often then I like to ,compassion is the tool that helps us care and we turn into better and stronger people when we choose to help our loved ones .
My husband will virtually go mad because I update my WhatsApp status with death quotes
When I was 14 my mom got cervical cancer. I was her primary helper. I was so young and didn’t know how to process any of it. Western culture is terrible at dealing with death. I saw all of our friends disappear the worse that she got. She had put me in charge of not letting anyone give her any pain medications or unnecessary surgery. It was extremely difficult to have any medical professionals take me seriously. I was just trying to follow her final wishes. In the end it became to much for me with little support. She eventually was omitted to the hospital. At that point it was out of my hands. I so wish that we had someone there like this brave woman to help us enjoy her remaining time together. She passed when I was 15 years old. The biggest feeling I had over all it was relief not to see her suffering anymore and extreme guilt for not being stronger mentally and emotionally to help her through the transition with out my bull shit fears. I wish everyday that I could go back and do things differently. She was the most amazing person that I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. All I can do now as adult is be there for my kids the way she was there for me. Thank you so much for sharing these heart touching moments with us. You and your wife have touched so many with sharing your journey. 💜
Elise, your experience is very close to my own. I was 12 when my mother died of Lou Gehrig's disease. My father and I were her primary caretakers almost to the very end. It was too much to put on a child. And you were a child too. I was in my early twenties when I finally acknowledged and dealt with the guilt that I had, and found some compassion for myself. I wish you well.
Thank you for sharing ❤️
You are very brave to have to face such a difficult situation at such a young age. Sending you hugs. 💓
Elise my heart goes out to you.
A rose still grows beyond the wall.
Australia
@@empirex334
My heart goes out to you for your Mummas passing.
A rose still grows beyond the world.
Australia
I’m glad you shared these intimate times publicly. I have been a nurse for 30 years. I absolutely agree people need to see this. It does kind of answer some questions for many. When people don’t know what to EXPECT, fear will nearly cripple them. My daddy died of cancer January 24th 2010. I had my head laying across his belly and was holding his hand as we both slept. I was holding his hand when he died (and was asleep) people do not understand how Thankful I was that he died and I didn’t even know it until my brother woke me up. THATS HOW PEACEFUL MY PRECIOUS DADDY LEFT THIS EARTH.❤️❤️❤️❤️
This made me cry. Her face at the end was so beautiful and reminded me of when my mum died of cancer at 59 on September 27th 2018. Her face was exactly like Cathy’s and laying in the same position as well. The only peace you can get is knowing she is no longer in pain. Life is so cruel and short.
Same here.😞 Life is so short we have to make and cherish the best memories.💕
Me too. I'm sitting over here bawling my eyes out.
So touching. Death is nothing to be afraid of. I've lost many in this realm but they visit me from the next- in my dreams!
Same for me. Dream of departed loved ones nightly and in my heart and in my mind, we are together again.
True that! Tell this to @SonNeverSets above! I was pronounced dead in a 12 car pile up. The tough part was being brought back! If only we could learn to live life without fear, We would all understand the reality of your visitation dreams !!!
I was with my dad when he took his last breath,it was so peaceful, on his first anniversary I asked my angels to wake me at the time he passed away I didnt wake at the time I wanted but didnt think nothing of it,I feel asleep again and dreamt my dad walked into my room and said I am here which I replied i know you are then I woke up I guess the angles went one better 😌
@@styphlynne8253 Oh wow. In many ways that would be a blessing but I’m sorry you had to go through a terrible car crash.
Very soon after my mother's death. My sister's and I brushed her hair, bathed her and changed her clothes. She looked like the regal goddess, that she was...
Beautiful! I helped our funeral director with my mom, putting on her makeup just right so it looked as it did when she put it on herself, not too much, and we fixed her hair. The funeral director said that many people do that. Two of my friends were a bit shocked, but another confessed to doing the same for her husband. I cared for her when she was alive, why shouldn't I help care for her after she passed?
She looks so peaceful rip and my condolences for you
This is great that both of yourself and Kathy have been able and wished to be open about the dying process along with your continuing relationship together. I was with my mum in her dying process as I tried to be there in her vibrant life before .
Love to you and Kathy
I have helped families do after death bathing and dressing and care. It is a very delicate and beautiful process.
yes and i think this is normal to want to caress them. dressthem. it feels natural to me
Every thing you did was appropriate - because it is/was your and Kathy's life. I appreciate you posting what it's like to live with dying. Beautiful contribution and story. Thank you.
Right, it was so obvious that this was what Kathy wanted and her choice,she should have her last wish and her beloved wife honored that.
I’ve been a nurse for 12 years, ICU & ED, this is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine being in this moment, she seemed like an absolutely wonderful person, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Yes, she seemed so brave during her battle and so peaceful at the end.😌
wishing I had make a photograph of Mom when she passed: sweet smile, relaxed and calm, her face was shining.....she was so beautiful.
Fortunately, you seem to have that beautiful image with you. :)
My family takes a photo of our loved ones in their casket. Do you do the same in your family? I will say I donot like it because they donot look like them. But I wouldve loved to have taken a picture of my grandma moments after she passed. May you be comforted each and everyday with her image. ❤️
My family and I took a picture with my baby sister after she passed. She was 11. It’s heartbreaking and I haven’t looked at that picture in years, but for some reason, I find comfort in knowing I have that photo of us. What’s more important than that, is just remembering that we were there for her in her last moments on Earth. She knew she was (and still is loved.) she will always be important to us. Keep the memories of your mom close to your heart. You’ll always have the vision of her in her last moments in your memory. Much love, prayers and support to you
Same here! She was smiling and looking up at me and then she was gone.
Wow shiboof I saw the and had the same reaction. When my dad died I was there . Immediately when he died his face was so peaceful, no stress, worry and pain free.
I am an ICU nurse. Thank you for sharing your story, it is so important on so many levels. I am so sorry for your loss. Peace to you and your son.
Thank you for doing this. My dad's funeral was today. Which would've been his 79th birthday. I am grateful to say I was with my dad for his final 5 days and nights making sure he was comfortable and not alone. I also took pix of him after he passed on. I wanted to share with my brother who couldn't be there. I was glad to come across your story. It was comforting to compare my experience and see my dad's death was very "normal"
I think you and Kathy gave us all an invaluable gift. I was with both of my parents at the moment of their deaths, and I can honestly say there was no palpable difference between the minutes before and the minutes after. What a brave thing you two did. Peace, Kim.
My Mum died from Ovarian Cancer too and I wish that I had thought to take some pictures and videos of her. Unfortunately I was in deep shock and denial about what was happening. Watching this was bittersweet ❤
my mother died of pancreatic cancer last year. I was in denial too about it. I didn't want to face it. I just thought she would keep living.
@@ducheau100 I learned losing my mom to cancer we are never ready for that loss.
At age 62, my dad was in intensive care for post-stroke conditions. Only one person at a time was allowed in to see him.
After a short conversation, I had gently said, "Dad, you know you are dying."
His last words to me were, "Just shut up about it."
GREAT DAD
Lol reminded me of my mum
Your Dad had a great sense of humor - a very good man.
That’s right, shut up about it. No need to be reminded of what he already knew.
Ok dad I will shut up about it💔till u see each other again❤
This reminds me of my mother’s death. It was a good death. All of the family were there off and on all of the last week she was in hospice. She never had pain, thanks to the wonderful nurses. We laughed, played music, talked until the last day when she slept most of the time. The death rattle came and we knew. Yes it was beyond sad but still she was 87. It was a good death.
When my dad was dying I scrawled for hours looking for anything that would prepare me ... I'm so glad videos like this exist .. it makes you feel less scared and more prepared ❤️
My heart is right there with you. My partner passed after nearly 2 years with cancer. We were together 15 years..I've been single over 16. Blessings to you.. her last words were "I'm not going to have a birthday this year am i?"
Rip to your beloved partner.
What a beautiful way to honor her wife and her process. And yes, it's important for people to face death as a milestone in every body's experience. So touched and so thankful for this sharing.
I lost my mother to breast cancer and this video made me feel hugged. Thank you for sharing!
Her ability to stare her mortality in the face with such courage is truly commendable.
I found this not only educational but also very touching. They both seemed to be at peace with death.
Thank you for sharing. My sister, brother and I just went through this with our mom, and we listened to her death rattle as you described, and when her breathing got shallow, we all gathered around her and talked to her. She also let out a final sigh, and was gone. Death is part of living and everyone should have someone with them, if possible, when they are in the process of dying. .
I am not twitter savvy, so I've just heard your story for the first time. I lost my best friend to uterine cancer 5 years ago, and she was so upset that none of her family would let her talk about dying. I adore her family; I am an honorary member, having no extended family of my own. It was so hard, but I let her talk freely about what she wanted. No one would let her say goodbye. I saw her the day before she died, and then right after. The day before, she was too weak to open her eyes, and there was some pretty significant infrastructure changes, but she still enjoyed an orange popsicle that I brought for her and fed it to her. I have not always been a good friend. Two of my bridesmaids died of cancer, and I am ashamed that I was a coward and steered clear of them. My sweet friend let me make an amends for my previous inactions, and she in turn, shared her most intimate feelings with me. I am so glad to have come across this video, to learn that it's not about doing stuff; it's about being there. God bless you Kim & Greyson.
I had never heard an actual death rattle and when my mom transitioned and went through this it made me upset . I didn't understand, and when the noise stopped, she was gone. Thank you for sharing. I hope she knew that I was just hopelessly at a loss of how to assist, to let go. Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you both. I love you Mom. Rest Peacefully 💖
What a loving way to use social media, how generous of Kathy and Kim.
Rest In Peace Kathy . 🌷🙏🎈
When you hear the "death rattle" you know passing is close. I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer. Such a hard thing to experience. Most people haven't watched a death. It Stays with you forever ❤
God bless Kathy and all the loved ones lost 🙏
My mum died of ovarian cancer and we spent everyday of the last 6 months of her life together. Yes there was utter sadness and grief but there was also humour and joy and learning and so much love. As she died I got to thank her for my life. Please don’t be afraid to be with the people you love when they die. It’s life changing and love affirming.
For anyone who has been with a loved one upon death... It's not easy or pretty. Each journey will be different but for those of us that are willing to stay, it changes our lifes views forever. Sending you love and prayers.
We surely need to learn to appreciate death and dying for what it is. It should not matter what it looks like.
When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. ~Forever Rest In Peace Kathy~
Thank to both of you for sharing your journey. This is an act of love and kindness and this is so right. Thank you.
I was a caregiver for both of my in laws. They were diagnosed with their cancers a month apart. My mother in law passed in Jan 2016. My father in law in Oct 2017.
It was an excruciating painful journey for them and for us. Although we miss them, we're glad they are no longer in pain.
I think American society needs to honor death more and I appreciate these two women who shared their journey with us.
What a amazing person. I glad she wanted to break the stigma of deaths by sharing her story.
I lost my Mom earlier this month. I had been so afraid of seeing death up close but in the end, I was so glad I was there for her. I wish I could have watched this video beforehand to know what to expect. I’m thankful she wasn’t in pain and knew I was there and able to send her off with immense love.
RIP to your wonderful wife and thank you for being so open to break the stigma.
This helped me so.....much I was battling Cancer at this time and her bravery gave me strength and the ability to accept it if I too dont make it. Thank you both for this unselfish gift given unto me.
I wish more people were so open. I say this as I too have cancer. Thank you 3 beautiful strangers for opening so many minds and hearts. 💙🕊
Thank you for sharing.. My mother died in my home on hospice from Cancer in 2018. I had seen death, but never saw it so close and intimate as I did when my mother was dying. What really sank my heart is when your wife said she was on a magic carpet ride. My mom said the same thing when she was actively dying. I also have photos and videos of my mother, I have not shared them publicly (not her wishes) but they are for me.. For me to remember what she suffered during cancer. It will never be forgotten. Ever. Much love, and thank you for sharing and your wife was so brave!
Hello how are you doing 👋👋👋👋
She looked so beautiful and at peace when she passed away. My brother passed away 1/6/22, he looked so peaceful and free of sickness.
Thank you for this. I've been a Hospice nurse for over a decade and this is what I have watched people go through with death for many years. It's something people want to keep quiet but it's a part of life. This is why people don't know what to expect when death approaches is bc we keep it too hidden.
To have a loving partner care for you while you die is a blessing like no other. To share fully and openly, bared to the soul, love til the end and be with you as you transition to the next plane is the truest act of human love there is. How beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss.💗
You know when I saw the title I thought like some others “why? That’s disrespectful, what does she want, sympathy, praise?”. But then I listened to your words, your reasons, your love and compassion, that you were even thinking of others during such a hard time, and you did this so, so well, both of you. Thank you for teaching us, and for letting us into your lives. I’m sorry you both had to go through this x
I am so sorry you lost your wife. Her picture looks so peaceful and she’s almost smiling. Thank you for being with her.
As a person with a chronic fatal disease … sometimes we don’t want to be told we’re strong. We’re brave.
It puts too much pressure on us when we ultimately do get to the end. We feel like failures. That you guys put your trust in us to beat it when it was never a battle to be won.
Ps. Thank you for loving her as much as you do. And thank you for letting us get to know her ❤
This is just one of the most beautiful things someone could do for the loved one who’s decided to “put that out there”. Your tender treatment of your story is sweetness and light. Thank you for sharing. 💚
Thank you both, for sharing, for your honesty and courage.
What a thoughtful last gift, to share one’s dying online to take the fear and mystery out of it for those who have not yet had to deal with it. We all will some day.
Hello how are you doing 👋👋☺️☺️👋☺️
Her last picture is so peaceful, so heart - warming. To the last moment she was strong and beautiful.
I lost my sister at age 60 to ovarian cancer. She had it for 7 years. We never talked about her dying. It was always about the next treatment, a new drug, have hope, etc. She was scared and we just never talked about. Maybe we should have.
Thank you for sharing. As a former community RN, home hospice was one of the best things I could provide for my patients and their families. We just don't educate enough on death and dying. Providing what is needed to make a loved one feel safe and cared for throughout this process may be very difficult but it is an incredible gift. May her memory be a blessing.
Hello how are you doing 👋👋😀☺️☺️
That's morbid but touching at the same time. Death is such a taboo topic to discuss but necessary. Thank you for sharing your beautiful partner and your journey with us. Hope she is peaceful.
Look up the definition of "morbid" please. This was NOT that at all, this was beautiful.
@@humanbeing2855 my bad. Thank you. Yes it is beautiful I agree.
Thank you for paving light into the darkest of those that hope for light. Much love 💕
This is beautiful and touching !! As a former hospice nurse, this is the exact moments i have been blessed to share with families and so wonderful you have shared this for others to see
Kim, thank you for sharing this painful, sad time. After losing my husband in a car wreck, May 15, 2014, I was told numerous times that death is a part of life. You cannot have one without the other. However, people show all aspects of their life, but far less about death. My soul cries for your loss. Pay no mind to the folks that say anything negative about your posts.
What a beautiful gift the three of you have shared. Thank you.
My daughter died in January with a smile on her face
Words can’t adequately express how grateful I am - for so many reasons - that you all made the decision to share this last part of Kathy’s journey. Thank you, so very much.
The approach all of you took was absolutely great. Full of love, dignity, fairness, noble. Yes, exactly such are our last days, and there is something holly to be able to take a part in this with our beloved ones.
My deepest condolences. And big respect.
Thank you. I was so lonely when my mother died of long-term cancer. I was 17 at the time. This was a long time ago now, but the stigma has not been fully been eradicated. Thank you for pushing the envelope. Peace
Me too same age 💝
This is heartbreaking and fabulous...the courage Kathy showed in allowing us into the last days of her life...and you for helping us to cope better with our own mortality. My Dad passed in 2011...I was with him...and felt very honored to see his last breath. Thank you so much.
It is a privilege to be with a loved one, when they are dying and the moment they die. My Mother took two weeks to die and was frightened , grumpy, elated, confused and sweet. At least twice she saw her past loved ones calling her and pointed them out to us. But she said, oh Ive got to go, but is everyone here ok? She waited until she has seen everyone. Her death rattles were so strong one night, I got a fright, but at the end,( dawn), I told her it was a cold morning and everyone was waiting for her on the other side. I said, "oh Mum, it looks like one of the cold windy days, everyones waiting for you, why don't you go?" She sighed resignedly and that was that. It made it so much easier to see the process.
I thank you and Kathy being so candid. I was present throughout my mother's cancer treatment right up until her death.I SO identified with your conflicting thoughts of wanting Kathy to stay vs. wanting to get her dying over with. Those thoughts for me were born out of moments of selfishness; I couldn't bear the pain of waiting in limbo. As you well know, it's no easy task to watch someone you love dying by the day, the hour, and finally, by the moments.
.
That wsnt selfish of you, Kathy Hugs
This was truly beautiful. True love is being there through the best and worst of times. I lost my mother to colon cancer. Twenty-five years later I’m still processing things. I wish I had access to something as profound as this to help me. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless you, Kathy and your entire family.
So important. The breathing change and the death rattle, then that last breath, so helpful. I wish I had this info for when my own precious mama needed me with her. Thank you so very much. You show what we-all need to stay grounded, here when our loved one must leave. True love ways!
What an interesting and valuable video. Thank you so much. The sweetest and most moving thing in the whole video was that before you took the last picture, you did her hair. Love, sigh.
So beautifully moving. Death is not only not talked about, but scary…scary because we are greedy… greedy in our love that wants to keep our dear loved ones with us despite the fact that their time has run out. Thank you for sharing this, it must have been very difficult but I get it.🙏🏻💜
It's been no more than 150 years since it was completely normal for a family to tend to their loved one's body after death. I sat with my Grandma Bradley as she passed away. It felt like standing an honor guard. I was proud to do it, as much as it hurt. I hope that people can hear stories like this and regain their sense of belonging in the process of the death of a loved one. I also helped with my father, whose death was more difficult, but for some time my sister and I and my nephew sat around his bed and sang songs that we knew he loved. It was the one time in his last days that he was quiet and seemed at peace without being sedated into oblivion. We cherish the soul and the body that was the house of that soul for so long. We are truly honored to be with both in the hours before and after death.
I watched my mom die of cancer. I enjoyed the process of “knowing” and being able to be there for her for the death process. I miss her and sometimes cry but am happy to have been there in the end and know I will see her again.
Thank you for sharing, helpful to many, helps prepare many.
Thank you Kim for sharing your experiences with Kathy's death and grief during the terminal phase of her life. I found it extremely relatable and deeply touching. May you find the strength to bear her loss.
Kathys life had meaning. She was loved, adored and missed. We should all be so lucky. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
My mom was the first dead person that I saw. But it wasn’t just a person, it was my mom. This powerful and loving woman that once lit up every room that she stepped into. A beautiful woman that birthed and raised 9 kids. That taught me my go-getter and optimistic mentality. Then to see her frail and dead on the hospital bed was and still to this day is so hard to accept.
The shock and disbelief. A hurt like no other. I felt as though a part of my childhood innocence went with her. The first person that I shared an everlasting bond with. My mom, was the only person that no matter how old I got was still in her eyes, be her baby girl. It’s been 3 years and it still hurts.
I am so sorry for your loss. I applaud you and your wife for the
bravery, and honesty. May she rest in peace. Thank you so very much
Instead of letting sadness be the predominant emotion when someone you love dies, it should be admiring their courage and how brave they were. This story emulates that.
I went through this with my Mother. I was with her when she passed.
As a medical professional working in intensive care unit, I have seen the many facets of death and dying way too many times. We are trained to treat the disease and prevent death that, sometimes, it's hard to step back and embrace the ultimate end. We have become so mechanized in dealing with the disease and forget about the human being. Palliative Medicine has become more and more present in our world to make sure we don't lose touch of the soul of the person we are dealing with. Thank you so much for enlightening the world on this.
Sometimes, the battle isn't lost when you face death. It's a triumph when you face death peacefully and with dignity.
People share the most inappropriate intimate moments on TV, Movies, and various social media accounts, why not share something intimate that is so natural. That should to be discussed openly with any hesitation. Thank you very much for this information. You made a great sacrifice and helped me be more open. I will then be more open with my family and hope it continues.
This was painfully beautiful - what a love story. Thank you Kim for sharing it with us.
Hello how are you doing 👋👋👋😀
Oh, to have love and dignity in my life anywhere close to this.
You are amazing 🌈❤️
What a stunning video. Two strong women. I'm grateful for this view into their world. So sad but so strong.
I am NOT crying. Its allergies.
Yes ghost 305, i believe allergies "flared up" on a lot of us viewers while watching this one. Peace and love
Thank you. That was amazing. I have stage 4 cancer. I have searched and wanted to share more about the journey to death. I call it transition. I've found that conversations about death is a lonely space. No one in family, friends wish to have THAT discussion. Many of my friends and family wont even visit. I know it's fears that keep them away. I get it. But to die is a part of life. And Americans are one of the more established countries that have the biggest negatives about it. We need these kind of stories, to eliminate the stigma that to die is nothing to ne fearful of, it should be an expression of love to honor this life as it transcends to whatever comes next. Again, thank you. Blessings to you and your son, through your healing, remember the love.
This was respectful and beautiful thank you I went through this many years ago with my mum and it was very lonely and scary so bless you and her for sharing this
What a beautiful and tremendously real gift to the world.
I lost mum in April to lung cancer that spread to the brain and her tumours were haemorrhaging.. That call she was passing came at 2am after she was only admitted for scans saying she had maybe hours, hours turned into 10 days and when I heard that part you shared with the death rattle it took me back, mums lasted almost 5 days and was soooo hard to witness however leaving your loved one isn’t an option.. You both have done such an amazing job documenting this journey and I believe you have helped an abundance of people that watch this, I now think of things in a different light but also in saying that I really understood that some days you couldn’t handle the thought of losing your wife and others you wished it wouldn’t drag out the suffering and I really went through the exact same thing and thought process with mum.. I wish we had more ppl like you in this world that aren’t afraid to a go w what’s important to understand in this world rather than the vain & unnecessary things this day and age chose to find important.. Thanks you again and god bless you and your family 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
What a beautiful way to share such a hard and hurtful time, absolutely appreciate you and your courage ❤💯
Thank you so much, Kim....for sharing this.....I have been so deeply depressed , the last couple of days, since I watched dying patients at a hospice .... They seemed to be gasping for breath , like poor , dying fish....and it really upset me... I was with my dying mother and though her breathing was somewhat rattly , she didnt seem to be in anguish ....I was so relieved to see Kathy's breathing before she died, cos , like my mother, her breathing was indeed, louder, but she didnt have a frown or an anxious look of cant get breath, on her....This video has calmed me a lot.... Ty again ..It was superbly done ....real and dignified, at the same time