Támara, this is another very important topic. In my family of origin, only certain family members were allowed to express anger. If those who had not been approved by the head narcisssist expressed anger, something terrifying would happen, conditioning me to push it down and fear it. Eventually I would blow up or cry, and get criticized for "stuffing my feelings". The old double bind. Narcs love that one. Such a fun game for them.
Yeah, "the nuclear option" was actually acknowledged and given that terminology to describe the means to effectively negate the right to have a normal reaction to an abusive behavior.
My family thinks not having any negative emotion is healthy and holy. Coming to terms with how toxic and delusional my "christian" family is has blown my mind. I'd love to hear you speak about covert pathological religious family systems. I've gone through so much abuse and trauma, but these people take the cake. I dont know if I'll ever be able to fully ungaslight me.
I'm sure. It's saddening to realize this. As a daughter to a pastor, a granddaugher to a pastor of over 30yrs, and a believer in Christ, I can safely say that some religious groups and dwellings are the ipitomy of confusion, abuse, trauma, and hypocricy. We would not expect these places to include evil or those who do evil things. But the reality is that this is where the darkness hides the most. In my experience, it's what is in the person's heart, and their integrity that makes them who they are in the religious circle. It's not the circle itself. I have done one video on this in the past. I will add this one to the list too😉
You are such a God sent. My mother is sort of like that, she doesn’t care what she says to you and then she wonders why we stay away from her. These lectures should be taught in schools so that you understand the human behaviours.
Thank you!! I'm glad this was helpful to you. Someone else made the same comment that if this was taught in high school, they would have gone down a completely different road.
Mike's comment about being the "bad guy" after they push your limits is 100% on point! Dealing with that sort of situation now but hard to move forward because I am dealing with an arrest that steamed from the toxic environment I am living in. Thanks, Tamara, for bringing truths to light on whom I am dealing with.
Tam, you go through a lot. Thanks for being here. Some comments from new troublemaker subscribers is unbelievable. I saw the chat comment tonight and yesterday. Glad you can delete delete delete!!!!! No one has the roght to run your channel or your schedule. Stand strong.
I'm some -what the way u are talking about. I have repressive anger. I love punching bags if there's nothing I can do to help the situation. I hate when good ppl die. I want good ppl to live forever & keep doing good things. That probably sounds crazy! I hate injustice! I've been a part of some protests. I've been a part of trying to help ppl & feeding programs. I try not to worry about being used, because GOD has always known my heart. Thank u Precious Sister for this awesome video. Ppl who I know don't like me but smile in my face are not welcomed in my home. Ppl who cause some anger in me I've taken their pics from my home. I refuse to see their smiling faces!!!
Thank you for your videos . The content is always relevant and helpful. I am 62 and have had to fight to heal from PTSD and most of my life I've had to struggle to maintain healthy relationships and trust others and practice expressing my emotions in a healthy manner. Repressed toxic anger happens to the victim too. when gaslit and the abuser projects their anger onto their target ...the victim eventually will have reactive abuse. Then scape goated and blamed more and accused of being crazy. Both parents had toxic anger and my parents would lash out abusively towards myself and siblings. Myself and siblings , carried there shame, . They acted shamelessly and there were times I had problems with all my feelings, being overwhelming to me. Is this normal?
You're welcome and thank you for that. Glad to hear that. And you are right that repressed anger happens to the victim too. I wouldn't call it "toxic" unless it has destabilized other people in your world. I reserve the word "toxic" for those who engage in harmful behaviors that interrupts the lives of others. I'm sorry you endured this. I'm sure, like most people from this dynamic, it still leaves an imprint. And yes, that's a normal response to this dynamic.
Thanks Tamara appreciate you taking your time for us❤❤❤ having a strong detecting biosphere make weeding these people out of your life and not getting involved with them much easier and most people can realize
Thank you so much!! And you're welcome.☺🙌 Glad this is helpful and contributing in a positive way. That's the purpose of this channel: to learn, grow, and connect.
Repressed anger and its subcategories detailed this extensively is very helpful for me. Thank you, Tamara. I reflect on myself and regard certain loved ones (especially one who does have a mental illness and childhood trauma attached to their repressed anger) somewhat diifferently because of this breakdown.
That's really good to know. I'm glad this was helpful. You're welcome. The topic does make you think. I too reflect upon family, friends, coworkers, etc. with some of these topics. It's healthy to do so.
❤ agree Tamara so many people are so self-entitled they're persistent I'm first attitude generally puts them at the back of the line if only they would realize that
what if im mentally and physically disabled and ptsd and ocd im now a caregiver for mother shes toxic bipolar in denial 😔 and since i care for my father over 6years and since he died 15 months ago shes been more ill mentally 😔 and so im burned out from carrying for my father and I can't greave for him.I need help for mother im scared of her so much! please help if your a doctor 🙏 our attorney! I need help!!i got her foodstamps etc but ive been neglected and beg for help!
@@anthonyarciero4899 you’re not required to care for any family members period. I’d advise you to call adult protective services and get guardianship started, if you decide to be a guardian you can also stop being a guardian by putting in a motion to the court that you don’t want that responsibility.
Hi Tamara! If I were online to the sessions I would have asked the following: For a young adult that experienced anger abuse and dismissive behavior from parents, forced to repress his own anger for years, now is having trouble with expressing anger, what would you recommend? He knows where the anger is coming from, but it might be a couple of years too late or the parents be too dismissive still. How do let that anger out? - I sat and listened to your whole session and I loved the fact that you explained everything on our language. Thank you so much!
Your parents can be your first bully . Look at the bullying of others and rejection from others which has caused many mass shootings. They feel hopeless and cant get help when they need it due to the cost or time to get a therapist , so then they just let it loose on innocent people or animals. Most know what they are doing , its intentional not a mental disorder , which is worse.
Can you do a youtube on disappointment? also parents who relate to strangers more than their own children due to their own trama , their incapable of intimacy
Anger usually comes out in passive aggression. I use to work for four Drs...get was always jealous my grampie was fireman. He'd try to bully me by saying " everyone gets burned " I just ended a ni etee. Year friendship .I'm done with toxic people.
If you have an individual with repessed anger can more episodes of Intermittent Explosive Disorder happen after a brain injury? How would you know when it is just age or injury and is there anything that can be done about it?
When you have built up anger, find a constructive way to channel it.... weed your garden, tear up cardboard boxes for recycling, go for a jog, etc., to be able to calm down enough that you can then address the issue that you need to confront.
This is the reason there are smash rooms. We need one in each town , city lol smash and scream rooms to let it out so they are not taking it out on innocent people or themselves. The question is why does a person lash out on innocent people in general? More like demons attached to these people that need to be removed. Every household should be evaluated from the start. People dont realize that ADHD has a huge part of this as well, many have both Narcism and ADHD I noticed , I dont see this addressed. Seems the ADHD is from the trauma orginally in family pasesd on ancestrally. Then the narcism comes after. Again not all are bot but I noticed many
UA-cam will make the live chat box available to you within 12hrs of this live ending. Stay tuned!! Always the best part.
Thank you ❤
Támara, this is another very important topic. In my family of origin, only certain family members were allowed to express anger. If those who had not been approved by the head narcisssist expressed anger, something terrifying would happen, conditioning me to push it down and fear it. Eventually I would blow up or cry, and get criticized for "stuffing my feelings". The old double bind. Narcs love that one. Such a fun game for them.
Thank you. I agree. It is!
And I'm glad you brought this dynamic up. "The old double bind."
Yeah, "the nuclear option" was actually acknowledged and given that terminology to describe the means to effectively negate the right to have a normal reaction to an abusive behavior.
The criticism that you seem "off or unhappy" after being screamed at or relentlessly nitpicked over nothing...
Anger is weird because sometimes we’re not even angry and people think you are
Projection? Provoking? I deal with this constantly from a member whos never expressed anger.
@@Elizabethpepper8What do you mean?
Do you think that them saying you are angry is manipulation so you will sympathize
My family thinks not having any negative emotion is healthy and holy. Coming to terms with how toxic and delusional my "christian" family is has blown my mind.
I'd love to hear you speak about covert pathological religious family systems. I've gone through so much abuse and trauma, but these people take the cake. I dont know if I'll ever be able to fully ungaslight me.
I'm sure. It's saddening to realize this.
As a daughter to a pastor, a granddaugher to a pastor of over 30yrs, and a believer in Christ, I can safely say that some religious groups and dwellings are the ipitomy of confusion, abuse, trauma, and hypocricy. We would not expect these places to include evil or those who do evil things. But the reality is that this is where the darkness hides the most. In my experience, it's what is in the person's heart, and their integrity that makes them who they are in the religious circle. It's not the circle itself.
I have done one video on this in the past. I will add this one to the list too😉
You are such a God sent. My mother is sort of like that, she doesn’t care what she says to you and then she wonders why we stay away from her.
These lectures should be taught in schools so that you understand the human behaviours.
Thank you!! I'm glad this was helpful to you.
Someone else made the same comment that if this was taught in high school, they would have gone down a completely different road.
Mike's comment about being the "bad guy" after they push your limits is 100% on point! Dealing with that sort of situation now but hard to move forward because I am dealing with an arrest that steamed from the toxic environment I am living in. Thanks, Tamara, for bringing truths to light on whom I am dealing with.
❤🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯. You are truly Awesome. Stay blessed my Lady🎉🎉
Thank you 🤗 Glad to "see" you back on the channel. God's blessings to you!
Tam, you go through a lot. Thanks for being here. Some comments from new troublemaker subscribers is unbelievable. I saw the chat comment tonight and yesterday. Glad you can delete delete delete!!!!! No one has the roght to run your channel or your schedule. Stand strong.
Thank you so much!🤗
🤗🤗💖 @user-uv5sc5lu3g
🌹
💪🏻🧘 Repel it, Tamara!!!
Thank you @theretrowoman80 ❤
Oceans of blessings y'all ❤❤❤❤❤
Same to you!
People should be evaluated before marraige to prevent these types of people from having children in general.
I'm some -what the way u are talking about. I have repressive anger. I love punching bags if there's nothing I can do to help the situation. I hate when good ppl die. I want good ppl to live forever & keep doing good things. That probably sounds crazy! I hate injustice! I've been a part of some protests. I've been a part of trying to help ppl & feeding programs. I try not to worry about being used, because GOD has always known my heart. Thank u Precious Sister for this awesome video. Ppl who I know don't like me but smile in my face are not welcomed in my home. Ppl who cause some anger in me I've taken their pics from my home. I refuse to see their smiling faces!!!
I really have much out of the serie you give, you explain it so well. I am waiting for next weeks live chat. Thanks for informing us all ❤
Thank you🤗And you're welcome! So glad this is helpful to you.
Thank you for your videos . The content is always relevant and helpful. I am 62 and have had to fight to heal from PTSD and most of my life I've had to struggle to maintain healthy relationships and trust others and practice expressing my emotions in a healthy manner. Repressed toxic anger happens to the victim too. when gaslit and the abuser projects their anger onto their target ...the victim eventually will have reactive abuse. Then scape goated and blamed more and accused of being crazy. Both parents had toxic anger and my parents would lash out abusively towards myself and siblings. Myself and siblings , carried there shame, . They acted shamelessly and there were times I had problems with all my feelings, being overwhelming to me. Is this normal?
I agree with you. She's the best. And my sister went through what you describe. 😢
Thank you.
You're welcome and thank you for that. Glad to hear that. And you are right that repressed anger happens to the victim too. I wouldn't call it "toxic" unless it has destabilized other people in your world. I reserve the word "toxic" for those who engage in harmful behaviors that interrupts the lives of others.
I'm sorry you endured this. I'm sure, like most people from this dynamic, it still leaves an imprint. And yes, that's a normal response to this dynamic.
These are the type of parents who should never have has kids.
Yessssssss!
Thanks Tamara appreciate you taking your time for us❤❤❤ having a strong detecting biosphere make weeding these people out of your life and not getting involved with them much easier and most people can realize
Thank you so much!! And you're welcome.☺🙌 Glad this is helpful and contributing in a positive way. That's the purpose of this channel: to learn, grow, and connect.
Repressed anger and its subcategories detailed this extensively is very helpful for me. Thank you, Tamara.
I reflect on myself and regard certain loved ones (especially one who does have a mental illness and childhood trauma attached to their repressed anger) somewhat diifferently because of this breakdown.
That's really good to know. I'm glad this was helpful. You're welcome. The topic does make you think. I too reflect upon family, friends, coworkers, etc. with some of these topics. It's healthy to do so.
Exactly, you call them they are yelling
Thank you so much!
You're welcome!
❤ agree Tamara so many people are so self-entitled they're persistent I'm first attitude generally puts them at the back of the line if only they would realize that
I keep missing these! How can I stay on top of them??
Oh no! I'm sorry. You want to make sure the bell and subscribe button is turned on so you get those notifications. 🙂
Hit the subscribe and bell button. I get notifications no problem.
🙏🏾💞🌹
Anger can be channeled into goodness with God's guidance .
What do you think someone can do who has had parents with toxic anger and now feel they have stress toxic anger? What can a person do😢
what if im mentally and physically disabled and ptsd and ocd im now a caregiver for mother shes toxic bipolar in denial 😔 and since i care for my father over 6years and since he died 15 months ago shes been more ill mentally 😔 and so im burned out from carrying for my father and I can't greave for him.I need help for mother im scared of her so much! please help if your a doctor 🙏 our attorney! I need help!!i got her foodstamps etc but ive been neglected and beg for help!
@@anthonyarciero4899 you’re not required to care for any family members period. I’d advise you to call adult protective services and get guardianship started, if you decide to be a guardian you can also stop being a guardian by putting in a motion to the court that you don’t want that responsibility.
Step father abuse to me 😢I would say damage me…,
😔I'm sorry.
I hope you now have peace.
Hi Tamara!
If I were online to the sessions I would have asked the following:
For a young adult that experienced anger abuse and dismissive behavior from parents, forced to repress his own anger for years, now is having trouble with expressing anger, what would you recommend?
He knows where the anger is coming from, but it might be a couple of years too late or the parents be too dismissive still. How do let that anger out?
-
I sat and listened to your whole session and I loved the fact that you explained everything on our language. Thank you so much!
Hey ❤
Hello there! Welcome.
Your parents can be your first bully . Look at the bullying of others and rejection from others which has caused many mass shootings. They feel hopeless and cant get help when they need it due to the cost or time to get a therapist , so then they just let it loose on innocent people or animals. Most know what they are doing , its intentional not a mental disorder , which is worse.
Can you do a youtube on disappointment? also parents who relate to strangers more than their own children due to their own trama , their incapable of intimacy
Anger usually comes out in passive aggression. I use to work for four Drs...get was always jealous my grampie was fireman. He'd try to bully me by saying " everyone gets burned " I just ended a ni etee. Year friendship .I'm done with toxic people.
I have CPTSD child 🧒🏿
If you have an individual with repessed anger can more episodes of Intermittent Explosive Disorder happen after a brain injury?
How would you know when it is just age or injury and is there anything that can be done about it?
When you have built up anger, find a constructive way to channel it.... weed your garden, tear up cardboard boxes for recycling, go for a jog, etc., to be able to calm down enough that you can then address the issue that you need to confront.
This is the reason there are smash rooms. We need one in each town , city lol smash and scream rooms to let it out so they are not taking it out on innocent people or themselves. The question is why does a person lash out on innocent people in general? More like demons attached to these people that need to be removed. Every household should be evaluated from the start. People dont realize that ADHD has a huge part of this as well, many have both Narcism and ADHD I noticed , I dont see this addressed. Seems the ADHD is from the trauma orginally in family pasesd on ancestrally. Then the narcism comes after. Again not all are bot but I noticed many