When they give a general "In America" keep in mind it's like saying "In Europe". The area of the US is so large, and the climate and people so diverse, that it's rare that one rule that fits "America" fits all of it. The shoes are a perfect example. Generally where it snows or rains a lot, people don't keep shoes on in the house. They even have a full room (called a mud room) to remove shoes, boots, jackets, etc before coming into the main area of the house.
This is very true. You would definitely hear it from my mom if you walked around her house with your shoes on. We live in the Northeast and we have a room when you first walk in to remove shoes and coats.
@@shawnsodano2835 Same in California and even parts of Nevada... Cost of living is lower here in Wyoming...but we have fewer choices of anything and everything... I love living here none-the-less... Endless blue skies...no air pollution...no street lights, so, no light pollution... Wildlife in abundance...whitetails, antelope, elk, moose, mountain lions, bears...and smaller critters...badgers, chipmunks, etc... We are up on a mountaintop...on a private dirt road... It is peaceful...and quiet...
Before the pandemic, salt, pepper and sometimes sauces like ketchup/mustard were just on your table. Not so much now. BTW I usually answer the 'How are you?' With Good/OK/I've been better. No, in the US, we get in the back of the taxi. Most of the time. And I have been out of contact with my sister for years over her deal with my shoe policy. Her husband backed me up.
The indirectness is real. To directly say, "No, I don't like that" or "No, I don't want that" instead of saying something along the lines of "thank you so much, but I think I'm okay at the moment" I think would be considered rude in most places in the US. You can speak the truth but we take care to not sound like we're insulting their tastes.
An addition to the "Hi, how are you?" greeting, people can read your body language and see you're NOT having a good day and ask "Hi, rough day?" and you answer," Yeah, ___ sucks." then they usually commiserate and say "Yeah, same." or "Sorry to hear that; hope things get better,". We do mean it. We genuinely do hope things get better for others because we all been there.
Had a good conversation with my wife recently about this, prompted by a similar video. The brief "how are you?" is NOT just a garbage question or a greeting that means no more than "hello". It's a social shorthand that says, at the very least, "hey, I care about you as a human being and hope you're doing well". And the response is NOT always just an echoing "fine (which may be a lie), how are you?" Lots of people are bothered by lying, even in such an "innocent" situation, and so find ways to respond even to strangers or others who they *don't* want to share more with that are not lies, but are still very brief and don't violate the boundaries of the relationship (which oversharing of personal information and feelings in a socially distant relationship would do). They might say "been better" or "hanging in there" or just "eh" or not answer the question at all, but simply skip the answer and repeat back the question (which IS an answer: it indicates that the person is not comfortable sharing with you how they're doing, probably because they're not doing particularly well and they do not consider you a friend, or a close enough friend, to share even that much with). And if the relationship actually IS a closer one, then the person will respond with more information. Generally the immediate response will still be brief, but exactly how it's given and what's said depends on how close the people consider the relationship to be. So this greeting is a way to briefly check in with each other while at the same time giving each other signals about how close you think your relationship is and how you would like it to be. If someone indicates that they're not doing well, and the people are close friends, the other will probably follow up by asking what's going on, and what they can do to help. If they're not that close, the other will probably signal the close of that conversational direction by simply saying "sorry to hear it" or "hang in there" or something, or maybe just nodding with a serious expression to acknowledge having heard, or maybe nothing at all, and then changing the subject. If there is imbalance -- one person thinks it is, or wants it to be, a close relationship, and the other doesn't -- then the greeting and responses will also point that up pretty quickly.
In 25 yrs as a server I never gave prompt service for a tip. I gave prompt service out of respect. Some guests were hard working like I was and could hardly afford to go out. They deserve the same service as anyone else.
In the video to which he is referring (I saw it earlier) the point was that in a busy bar, if you fail to tip the bartender they may be more eager & prompt to mix a second or third drink to someone at the other end of the bar who is tipping. I think that's fair. It's their wage, after all.
I see so many posts about "why not just pay them a living hourly wage?" and it never comes from people who are servers. I wonder if a poll were conducted with ACTUAL servers if they would rather get paid more hourly and less tips or keep it how it is?
@@AndySaputo when I was a "waitress" I made enough to raise a son and pay my bills. Most of us at that time liked the way it was. Not all mind you but I see so many who want more than they are willing to give. I started at $1.10 hr and had to quit at $7.50 and had some of the best time ever and met some great people.
@@AndySaputo In Washington state servers get the state minimum wage plus the tips so they can really make good money since our state minimum wage is higher than most states.
RE: #1 - "Don't they already put condiments on the table?" Sometimes. There are so many different styles of restaurants, and they all have their own way of doing things. Sometimes they will issue prepackaged condiments with the meals. Sometimes there are condiments on the tables. Sometimes there is a condiment stand that you pass by on the way to your table. In any event, if you're craving something that you don't see, it's okay to ask. 😀
I think in some high end restaurants, you might not find condiments provided at the table because they have a fancy chef who is preparing the food exactly to the taste they created. In some italian restaurants, the waiter/waitress might come by with a pepper mill or some parmesan cheese and ask if you'd like them to add it for you. In diners or other less formal places, you will probably find the condiments right there on the table. That being said, I have no problem asking for salt, pepper, ketchup, etc. no matter where I'm at.
Adding on to this, in fine dining, it is definitely considered rude to ask for anything that isn't out. At a casual restaurant, go ahead, but if there's a prix fixe menu for $100 a head and you needed to make reservations months before, don't ask for ketchup.
There are also typical condiments (salt, pepper, ketchup, maybe hot sauce depending on the location) but specialty condiments may also be available if you ask, e.g. malt vinegar or mayonnaise for dipping fried potatoes, tamari or soy sauce for rice dishes, extra-super-hot sauce for the courageous, pickles or Dijon mustard for your burger, or carafes of oil & vinegar for an undressed salad.
Of the things to remember is that nearly all houses apartments dwellings have rugs or mats at the door specifically there so you can wipe your shoes on them before you come in and then the Southwest we country homes have a metal plate specifically designed for cleaning mud and muck off boots before you come into a home
About the shoes, they are expected to be clean. We expect you to be a normal human and not have nasty shoes. If you just trudged through mud, you better NOT just walk right in.
You must not live where it snows😂 In the midwest and east where it snows a lot, it's rude to walk around with shoes. No matter how much wiping you do, there's snow stuck in the treads and it melts and tracks water all over the house. Most people kick their shoes off.
American's feel "guilty" about not tipping due to the fact that there is a stupid part of the Fair Labor Standards mandate that says that people that earn more than $30 in tips PER MONTH be paid at least $2.13/hr in wages. This means that an entire category of workers have their minimum wage set at that ridiculously low rate. So not tipping those workers means that they literally won't make enough just from their paychecks to live. The fact that anyone can pay an employee that little legally is just appalling to me.
Also, taxes are deducted from the paycheck, not just based on the $2.13 per hour pay, but on the hourly wage plus the reported tips. The amount of reported tips can be calculated several different ways. Usually either 8% of the server's ticket sales, or simply declaring tips to be equivalent to the difference between $2.13 and min. wage. Taxes are deducted at about 22 or 23% of the gross pay, so the paychecks cover the taxes and the tips are the take home pay. Oh, and servers are expected to share their tips with other workers, like busboys and dishwashers.
@@hithere8140 In every state the cost of living is higher than the state's minimum wage can support. The federal minimum wage is $7.25, which is too low to live on anywhere, and here in Georgia, the state's minimum wage is $5.15.
Thats not exactly how tipped waged works. They may make 2.13 per hour, but anything that tips do not cover up to 7.25 the owner MUST cover. So in the end, their tipped waged, tips and owner will pay them 7.25.
It’s been several years since I was in Europe. But I learned real quick that sharing your table in a busy eating establishment, with a stranger, was not uncommon. Then ignoring the other party as a way of separating your different groups. I the US if you ask to share a table you are also asking to join the group.
Not necessarily. Lots of places do communal or farm style seating now and I’ve never included folks from another party into our group just because we were both sat at a communal table together 20 mins apart.
The first time this happened to me outside the US I was so thrown. I had no clue how to interact with table shares. It just isn't a thing unless it's obviously a thing.
@@laurencooper654 it's different. In the US if you have farm or bar seating the table reflects it: you'll typically have a long bar like table. Outside the US it'll be a regular 4-6 person table with split parties. I was sat down with an unknown party of two at a four-person table.
@@laurencooper654 that’s not that common, I think. The nearest place to me with communal tables is about an hour away in another state. Could be regional. I’m in a medium-sized city in the Deep South.
Aside from the obvious places (bars, farm style seating), it's a rarity to sit at a table with someone you don't know. If there's no other seats available you could ask the person(s) at the table if you could sit there, but that's not assumed, and if you did so without asking (or if they said no), you would generally be considered rude. I think it goes back to the personal bubble idea. Sitting next to someone you don't know while doing something as personal as eating is not all that comfortable for most folks.
For #4, opening a gift. It is actually polite to ask first, “Should I open it now?” So you don’t seem greedy. Depending on the situation, most will say yes. Some people will hand it to you and tell you to open it now.
I also think that asking is the better advice. Your reaction might be the giver's reward, or maybe it's a gag gift to make you laugh and sharing the reaction would be half the fun!
@@otis299 The one place you don't open a gift automatically is when you are holding a party in a restaurant You take the gifts into the restaurant and open the gifts at the end of the meal. Don't forget to tip bigger if you leave the wrapping paper behind for the staff (although if you put the wrapping in the gift bag and take it back to the car with you, that's okay).
It's also rude to not open the card and read it FIRST. I don't expect my gift to be opened at a wedding at ALL, and something like a bridal/baby shower will be opened at a designated time at the party, and also some birthday parties. It detracts the host and/or guest of honor from greeting other people also arriving. I personally don't like the "open the gift now, so I can see your reaction" thing. I have a few people in my life who routinely buy me gifts that are inappropriate, bought without much thought to what I might like or PERSONAL HYGEINE items most people buy for themselves! I often am polite in speech, but my facial expressions give my feelings away. It's a real emotional minefield for me, but I've learned to put on a stoic front, grit out a smile and a "thank you", and give the gift to charity later. Worse still, they buy bargain rack/bin things and LEAVE THE PRICE TAG ON! Never leave the price TAG on!
I would add that if you're staying with family for Christmas, attending a birthday party, attending a bridal shower or baby shower, or attending a wedding, it is not expected that you open your present immediately, but rather put the gift on "the gift table" or "under the tree" to be opened later, at a time designated by your hosts.
Kabir: IMO most of those "rules" are more suggestions and generalizations. In many situations, just ask if it's OK. With your charming accent and smile, most people will be more than happy to guide you. (And, yes, most Americans are helpful.) Can't wait to hear about your trip to the US next year! Please do videos of you on your trip!
The rule for tipping might be 15%-20% but it can still be based on the service you get and also on just what that 15% ends up being. E.g. I recently went out for breakfast and my total bill was less than $12. My waitperson was deserving of more than a $1.80 tip so I left 3 and some change.
True! And tipping was originally copied from Europeans in the late 19th century. It was away for the newly rich Americans to flaunt their wealth and and show they were up to date with Europeans (maybe just Brits). However, it quickly evolved into an excuse for employers in service Industries to keep wages low in service jobs mostly occupied by blacks, and let tips make up the difference. Restaurants tips are split between the wait staff and the kitchen staff like dishwasher and bus person who clears the table. The person that serves your food is not going to get all of the money. Cash tips.are greatly appreciated and considered a normal courtesy even if you pay with a credit card and could include tip with that payment. It's an open secret that cash tips give the server the option to avoid paying some income tax. It is easy for most to report a lower tip amount than actually received. When minimum wage laws came into effect during World War II, businesses lobbied to have the law mandate a much lower wage for people in customer service jobs that were still overwhelmingly held by blacks. Tipping with used as a justification to maintain the race-based difference. To this day there is a huge difference in minimum wage for restaurant workers as opposed to retail sales clerk, for example. In my area restaurant wait staff are paid a minimum of about $2.50 per hour. But someone working in a store would receive a minimum wage of about $8 an hour. If the store isn't busy the worker gets the same pay everyday. But workers in a restaurant that is not busy might go home with little.more than minimum wage in their pocket. This is why it's really, really rude not to leave at least a minimal tip of 15% or for a small bill of about $3. If you have a large number of people eating together and paying on one bill some restaurants will automatically add 15% gratuity, so look closely at that bill if you are paying for a large party. It's still only fair to add a cash tip on top of that and give directly to the server, even if service was just normal good. Also tip.well if anyone in your group was rude or unkind to the server, if your group had special demands that made more work for the server. Also.tip more if you stayed a long time in the restaurant and prevented the server from seating another guest in the same timeframe.
To add to what Jones4Leather said: the lowest minimum wage in the US is just $5.15 per hour (in Wyoming and Georgia). And there's no state where working full time for the minimum wage is enough to actually live on, above the poverty line, much less to support a family.
I see ketchup on the table if it’s a restaurant that serves fries. I think they anticipate people will want ketchup on their fries. Salt, peoper and Peppersauce are commonly on the table too but maybe because I live in the South. Streak sauce, and mustard are usually things that have to requested where I am.
About the whole shoes indoors thing, Many of us go right from our house, to the garage to the car to the paved driveway to the friend's house so we don't usually have muddy or soaked shoes. And, as to us Americans who live out on a dusty ranch, well, it's going to be dusty inside too. So, we rather have you keep your shoes one to protect your socks from getting dirty and to prevent the dog from carrying your shoe away to the back of the stable.
It's less common in the south to take your shoes off because we don't generally deal with any snow/endless days of rain like Washington, Wisconsin, or New York etc. Somethin' us southern folk don't know is salt trucks that snow plow the roads after massive blizzards leave heaps of salty snow and ice mixture on your property/driveway/sidewalk that you must now shovel your way out of. This salt eats away at people's boots if exposed for long periods, and is hard to get off - there's really no point in buying a new pair until your toes poppin' out, so they just leave them outside or in a mud room. (Southern states generally don't have mud rooms...or basements - excluding tornado country of course) Down here it's pretty much common sense to not step in that puddle and keep truckin'. You know damn well those girls from Georgia wearing Uggs in 75 degree weather got sweaty feet, and I don't want their sweaty feet on my floors lmao
I'm from the Intermountain States area and have relatives in ranching. Sometimes there is an entryway called a "mudroom" where you remove your shoes and boots before entering the main living area. It's to prevent debris from their muck boots tracked into the home. My boyfriend is a rancher. I live in town. He always removes his boots near my front door.
The price different between tipping in the US and not elsewhere is offset by the fact that our menu prices are WAY less (especially when considering portion sizes) than in most European countries. And yes, proper service should be expected regardless of tips, but the absolute guarantee that the server WON'T get a tip if they are lazy or rude usually is enough to make sure you get proper service. Teachers and paramedics make several times per hour what a waitress makes here. Paramedics here start at about $18 an hour where as wait staff make about $2 an hour plus tips. That's why you aren't expected to tip paramedics. Wait staff are hired knowing that about 80% of their money comes from tips. You screw over your customers, you go home with $16 for your 8 hour shift. You provide exemplary service, you could go home with well over $100 a day.
@@Kaspisify Most wait staff in the US make more than wait staff in other countries after factoring in tips. Wait staff at a nice/busy restaurant in the US can do very well financially.
@@Kaspisify A lady I was dating was a waitress for a low to midline restaurant, she would bring home an average of $200.00 a day, and during the holiday season would bring home around $600.00-$800.00 per day. Does the rest of the worlds wait staff make that much? No need to answer, because the answer is NO. Being a server in a restaurant is not everyone's cup of tea, here in America if you can deal with assholes you will make an incredible wage. I tried being a waiter once, I don't have the patience to deal with asshole people and made a super low daily income.
@@matthewayres1641 do you think a butt ugly male server gets those kinds of tips? Or fat? But ok. If good looking girls can get paid, let's not worry about the rest. Fuck em.
I don't understand why anyone would think that because we tip in America, it must make everything more expensive. The total you pay for a meal doesn't increase due to tipping. It just means the total you pay is divided into two different parts, the meal itself and a tip for the service. If there was no tip then the servers would be paid more and thus the price of the meal before any tip would be increased such that it would roughly be equal to what you were paying under a system of tipping in total anyways.
Having experienced European and British wait staff and I'll take American wait staff and our tipping system any day. You definitely get friendlier and more attentive service here in the USA. I have friends who prefer the tipping system here because they make substantially more that way than their foreign counterparts.
American customer service, in general, is leaps and bounds better than anywhere else. I lived in continental Europe for the better part of 10 years, and it didn't matter if it was restaurant, hotel, or store, the customer service is subpar.
Plus the food is generally less expensive and larger portions even at a half way decent restaurant so even with the added tip, we still have a cheaper bill than you get at an European restaurant. Plus we take our leftovers home to warm up for another meal. It's easy to share a meal here too, you just order an extra salad and split the entree.
Only thing i didn't like a bout the American service when i was there the waiter waitresses kept coming back every few minutes to see if everything was ok and we just wanted to be left in peace. also when we finished they gave me the bill i felt like they were trying to rush us out
@Geoff Priestley servers come back and check on you frequently to see if there is anything they can do for you so you don't feel forgotten or feel that you are receiving poor service, to remove dishes out of your way, and to get you drink refills, some do take it to extremes, in which case you should feel free to politely say something akin to: "Thank you very much for your attentiveness to our table, but would you mind leaving us be for now, we would like to have a private conversation, and if we need anything I'll look for you and give you a little wave if we need attention". This way, you won't offend your server, and they'll know you want to be left alone. Placing the bill on the table is customary in the United States, and it's not to rush you out. It iss there so you don't have to ask for it, and so that they don't forget to give it to you.
@@ashlieneevel9671 i must admit at my local pub/restaurant you have to ask for the bill but we go in about 7.00 pm and leave about 10.30 and ive forgotten to pay them once i was in the car park and had to go back in but because we are there every week they know they'll get their money
I thought that too!! I worked for a company years ago that always put up a special are to handle the Christmas lines. The sign they put on it said "queue line." Seemed pretty redundant to me. 🤷🏻♀️
Keep in mind that these etiquette rules can vary from state to state and region my relatives in the south are very keen on taking their shoes off indoors but my family up here in Illinois we don’t bother with that at all also something I would add is that don’t be upset when eating at a restaurant if a waiter will take your dirty dishes when you’re done even though someone at the table might still be eating I know in some cultures it’s considered rude for the table to be cleared while others are still eating. And unless you’re eating at a very fancy restaurant that’s very expensive it could be considered rude ask for condiments but most restaurants aren’t like that and yes most restaurants also have salt pepper ketchup and hot sauce present the usual condiments you have to request or mustard and barbecue sauce and ranch.
I agree on the shoes thing. I live in the south and its like everyone here. I visited a friend where that wasn't the case and I felt weird walking around in my shoes in their house.
@@dalemoore8582 I don’t usually unless asked but I’ve seen this a lot with work boots. Remember the South has very agricultural roots so men traditionally would have been in the fields and muck.
@@anndeecosita3586 If you're shoes are covered in grass clippings, mud or some other mess then, of course, kick them off on the porch. I think most comments here are talking about usual, everyday, just walking around, shoes.
@@dalemoore8582 it may be a regional thing even within the south. I live in rural Kentucky and practically everyone here takes their shoes off entering someone's home. I visited a friend in Lexington, one of our bigger cities, and his family wanted me to keep my shoes on which was weird to me. I guess it just varies.
The thing about friendliness and random small talk varies a lot by region. In Seattle, people generally keep to themselves around strangers unless there's a specific reason to engage. It's considered perfectly fine for two people to walk past each other in a hallway or on a sidewalk without even glancing at each other, although some people will flash you a quick smile or head-bob right as you pass. In somewhere like Florida, on the other hand, total strangers will wave and call out friendly greetings even when you just drive past. My advice is to just observe what people around you are doing, and respond in kind when you are addressed. A nice smile is rarely out of place, even in the "Seattle Freeze," as some call it. Seattleites are generally quite polite, so they will talk with you if you initiate, and help you if you ask. They may just find it a little weird if you get overly familiar in your first meeting. Respect the bubble!
There are some habits I had just assumed was normal manners, I learned was actually “American” or “western” conventions before traveling to countries with different cultural backgrounds. It seems obvious that ofc different countries would develop their own mannerisms, but some you grow up all your life doing, it never crosses one’s mind that this is a “learned” behavior because of the environment we grow up in. A few that kinda shook me was how we try to hold open the door for the person behind you, or try to keep the elevator door open if we see someone coming. When I went to one of these countries and when following the person in front, I didn’t use my full force to open the door because my body was automatically half-expecting the person to try and keep the door open for me. The door almost smacked me in my face😂. That was a pretty shocking realization to me that holding the door is a cultural convention. Also when I was getting on the elevator, I’ll see people walking towards us to get on, but the person by the buttons would press the close button😧 hahahah wow being considerate of others is a LEARNED behavior. I never knew. I just assumed people would all try to be nice lol. But the American in me still tries to keep the door open for people around here, even though it’s not the norm here, I just can’t help it I guess. It’s a habit for me like it’s their habit to be rude? 🙃but i guess to them it isn’t rude, since that’s how they grew up. just thinking of #1. But I also learned some things that I thought was normal here in America is considered rude in those countries. They are very conscientious of noise levels, and try to be very considerate in public. They will look at you strangely if you try to take a phone call on the bus or subway. And when you are talking at a restaurant or cafe people try to keep their voiced down, about the level we Americans would normally use at a study library. I didn’t realize until moving here that we Americans are actually pretty loud when we talk. We like to use the full range of our vocals, but most places here like to tone it down by half a level so only the person right next to you can hear. And also people here don’t eat or drink outside while walking. There are street carts to buy food, but people don’t walk around eating like Americans would when we go to a fair. You buy the food and just stand or squat by the vendor or find a seating place. And same thing with drinks. I found out grabbing a starbucks or soda and walking around drinking while eye-shopping is an American convention. Nobody does that here, so it looks kinda funny if you do that here in this country lol I guess it is rude to show people you’re eating in public? But it’s just wild learning all the preconceived notion I had are just learned behaviors, and discovering all those small differences while living in another country. Makes you realize how small-minded you were, and grow to be much more tolerable and accepting of differing views.
You usually don’t tip at a fast food restaurant like McDonalds. But you do at more of the moderately priced restaurants as well as at fine dining establishments.
You tip the wait staff. If there's no wait staff (like at a fast food restaurant), there's no need to tip. And it's acceptable to tip less if you're at a buffet where you're serving yourself (though it's considered rude not to leave anything for those who bring your drink order and/or remove dirty plates).
Aside from asking for condiments, another thing that's usually OK to do in America is to ask for things to be made special-order. You can ask them to tell you what the ingredients are (if they know), ask for it to be made without onions, hold the lettuce (even in fast food), whatever it is you cannot or don't want to eat. It's not always possible from them to do it (sometimes for example it's a pre-made food) but then they will tell you that as soon as they find out, and usually not be offended by the request itself. Often they are genuinely sorry they can't accommodate what you want and try to help you find an alternative. You do get a few who get cranky about it... but that's their problem, not yours, as long as you are being polite and nice about how you request it. You may have to pay extra on occasion, but I haven't actually run into that often (I'm extremely picky at restaurants but also try to be respectful to the wait staff). And also say please like you mean it and thank them if they help you. They have a seriously tough and terribly underpaid job here, more so than in other countries, and they appreciate being appreciated. I really enjoyed watching this!
I’m a teacher in the US and you won me over with that comment. 🥰 I get tips all the time from my “kids.” Every picture, letter, and gift means so much. I work in a very poor area and had a young boy ask me my favorite color. The next day, he had made me a necklace from a charm he found in the garage. I think I will have to wear this necklace all year as he notices when I wear it and when I don’t. Baby lost his mom last summer. I made a promise to her at the service that I would take care of him.
I'm from Michigan (Northern Midwest) and most everyone I know removes their shoes upon entering someone's home. This might be do to the fact that we have snow from October to March/April and it would be really messy with snow and slush from winter boots worn in the house (ruining the hard wood floors or carpet). That statement is definitely subjective and more likely determined state by state, regionally, and of course by personal preference. In addition, regarding tipping, I would say the normal range would be 20% - 25% for standard service and if the service was excellent 25% - 30%.
I'm from Florida and most Floridians take our shoes off because of all the sand (but we can get away with flip flops and sandals 99% of the time). Sand will destroy carpets and wood floors alike (especially wood floors)!
Here in Texas, for most households, we tend to only remove the shoes inside if the weather outside calls for it (the rare snowstorm or, more commonly, mud due to rain). We tend to have to deal with hot weather (and the resulting stinky feet) much more often than conditions that would track mud or snow inside.
To add to the "this is a huge country," in the South, the use of ma'am and sir is customary. It has nothing to do with age or status. For instance, if I'm shopping and the clerk is clearly much younger than me, when they ask if I need assistance, I answer with yes or no ma'am or sir. Also in the South, we do use first names, but will put Mr. or Ms. before the name. For instance, if I am addressing the parent of a friend, I will call them "Ms. Marilyn" instead of "Mrs. Williams," or if it's a shop employee wearing a name tag, I'll address them as "Mr. Kenny," or "Ms. Joan." It's a sign of respect regardless of age.
Yes!! And even though I don't make my children do "Yes ma'am/no ma'am" to me, they have to do it to other adults because it's the cultural norm here (I'm from South Carolina). My dad was big on making me say "yes/no sir/ma'am" and used to joke and how I'd always say it...usually through gritted teeth. 🤣 So for me, it became more about HOW my kids answered me, rather than if they remembered to say ma'am. That said, I don't buck against anyone that has their kids do that. And no children (except my stepdaughters) call me by my first name. I'm either Mrs. Bond, Miss Carol, or maybe Aunt Carol to really close friends' kids. Even today I can't call on older person by their first name alone without hearing my dad's voice and seeing "that look". 🤣 (He died in 2012, sooo...)
AND to add to that, in the north, using sir or ma'am can come off as sarcastic. You have to really be careful to sound genuine or you'll tick people off who think you're being a smart aleck. Of course, if you have a southern accent, everyone will understand.
I never new there were cultures that frowned upon opening gifts immediately. Part of the joy of giving is to see the person's reaction. I was so upset when I discovered presents aren't opened at weddings. Lol.
Well, if your shoes are dirty, that's something else. Sometimes you have to pay attention and decide when it might be appropriate to remove your shoes. I have had a lot of people just ask me to take the shoes off. When I was doing on-site, in-home work, I used shoe covers.
One thing you have to remember is that the different parts of the country do things differently. I live in the South and we are very big huggers! We enjoy meeting new people! So, when you leave you’ll probably be hugged!!😀
Huggers and chatters!! If you're at our house, we'll ask, are you hungry and regardless of your answer, we'll feed you. And, I'm especially bad about saying "honey & sweetie", it's an endearment and meant to make a visitor feel like family. It's NOT a come on!
@@robinaddis-vaughn7271 I think it is part of our charm in the South. We genuinely want everyone to be comfortable, especially when they visit our homes. We have a way of putting people at such ease that we can and will get your whole life story out of you in one afternoon. No guile or deceit -- we truly want to know you better! And doesnt it take us FOREVER to say goodbye when its time to go??? LOL
@@lhuntley4577 Oh, honey it takes longer to say "bye, don't be a stranger" than it did to say "hey there!" And, you're right, it's just who we are at the core. At, least most of us, with the influx of our winter neighbors deciding to stay on forever, I see some changes, but true southerners will always be southern. I make good use out of my accent with customer service agents, they usually are butter in my hands after a few pleasantries and an off color joke, they go above and beyond to help me. I just treat them like friends and most of the time it works. You take care, awright?
I said in my comment that Southerners will commonly hug you the first time they meet you if you’re a friend of a friend or relative. Like I met my cousin’s cousin and immediately great big hug. Actually even if we don’t hug you to start we probably will when you get ready to leave after we talked your ear off. 😂
I do think Americans overall do more touching as part of greeting than in many other countries, whether it's handshakes or hugs. Our social greetings, even of new people, generally involve some sort of touch, not just nodding. (Of course, I'm not referring to the friendly chitchat that occurs with strangers or people in passing.)
The shoe thing: Make sure you wipe your shoes properly on the mat at the door! (Most US homes have a mat at the door just inside for this purpose!). And I cannot walk without my shoes on! My in-laws have a no shoes inside policy but I’m given an exception because my shoes help me walk! I have some health problems that have left some lasting physical complications!
I think it’s fine for family or friends to take their shoes off when coming over- but if I’m having a coworker over or doing something a little more formal I would rather people keep their shoes on- just not on the furniture
Opening gifts: If the gift is for a holiday, some people do prefer that the gift be opened on the actual day rather than right away. So it's best to just ask. "Should I open this now, or wait?" Or if you would prefer to wait (maybe also because you don't want to have to feign excitement if you hate the gift), you can always say "I'll save this so I can open it on the day". This is one that surprised me, when I first learned that in other places, it's actually considered rude to open the gift right away. I've even read that gifts brought to birthday parties for children are not opened at the party, but saved and opened after all the guests have gone home! THAT seemed very weird to me. But when I thought about it, it made sense. Think of all the hurt feelings caused by a child not liking a gift, or someone's gift being better than someone else's. All that made totally moot by simply having the child open the presents in private later, and then send polite thank-yous individually rather than letting the entire group see their immediate reactions to everything. That makes so much MORE sense to me now that I've thought about it that I wish I'd thought of it when I was raising my own kids!
I was a former server and I didn't want my wages raised and getting no tips. I made more most of the time off of tips than I would have hourly. Depends on the restaurant though I suppose.
I think going from minimum wage to wage+tips should depend on the sales volume of the restaurant. That way, servers who work in restaurants where the $ per person is lower are moving toward a living wage.
I have bartended for 40 years and you are absolutely correct! I might as well go work at a store if ur just gonna pay me hourly ! you'll never make the same money hourly that they're making tips! my tips were way more than most hourly wages!
From someone raised in the restaurant business, courteous, efficient service IS the expectation.And until the government changes the hourly wage for servers, so is the tip!.
I worked as a poker dealer and a coffee barista. Totally preferred my tips at that time. I think what really most service workers really want isnt wage increases but paid vacations and health benefits
Servers in the U.S. usually make about $2.63/hour and are taxed based on their sales. So if you don’t tip, they are basically paying for your meal whenever they file their taxes each year.
No! No! No! DO NOT open gifts immediately. If it is handed to you, admire the wrapping, make a statement like "You shouldn't have!" or something to show your surprise & appreciation. Then ASK if you should open it now. Otherwise, it does seem greedy.
Never just walk in someone's home with barefoot unless you are swimming in a pool at their home. This is especially true for men. From my experience, women are more often allowed to walk in person's home with bare feet. I know people who would rather men wear their clean shores inside than have their dirty feet on the carpet and hard floors. After watching tons of videos about American tipping and how it pisses Europeans off, I must say that I will never understand why foreigners cannot grasp the tipping concept and the reasons why it is common in the US. Tipping is 15 to 20 percent at sit down restaurants with waitstaff. Tipping gives the customer the power on how much he or she wants to spend. Moreover, it keeps the prices of the meals lower. Meals in normal restaurants are much lower in the US than in Europe. We believe that tipping ensures better, polite service. I have been to Europe and the service was very cold and horrible in most cases. In addition, tipping allows me to know that my tip will go to my waiter/waitress and not the owner. Finally, we get larger meals for that cheaper price I mentioned above. Since the owner doesn't need to pay higher wages, he or she can give American more food than in other nations. Americans are very demanding when it come to food. We do not like to feel like we are getting ripped off by anyone, especially in restaurants. A hamburger and a beer -- in most cases-- should never cost more than $15 to $20 before tip. I once saw a video by a travel blogger saying a burger and beer in Norway costs $50 USD. Those excessive prices would cause a riot in the US.
Personal bubble needed more explanation too…it’s a real thing…you shouldn’t sit directly next to someone on public transportation unless it’s super packed and never use the bathroom stall next to someone else unless it’s busy too…personal space is important here…people get snippy! Hardly anyone takes off their shoes here but hardly anyone has carpet anymore unless it’s a bedroom or something…that’s likely why most Americans prefer wood or tile floors.
My brother is the master at tipping. He puts it out on the table as soon as we get seated. It diminishes or grows compared to the service. So keep the coffee hot.
Salt and Pepper for sure but the rest is hit or miss especially at fancy restaurants. The prices are lower for food so it leaves you room to tip. People who get tips do not get a living wage.
A lot of restaurants will serve food with less salt for customers that require low salt diets. Most restaurants will put salt and pepper shakers on all of the tables but you may have to ask for ketchup, steak sauce, or sweeteners. As for taking off shoes--a lot of homes have a "Door Mat" (or "Welcome Mat") for wiping anything that may be on the shoes.
Whether tipping is right or wrong, It's actually not expensive because everything is cheaper in the U.S. to begin with (money just goes farther in the U.S.)
Re: tipping the “prompt service” applies more to when you’re out drinking and trying to order drinks. In a busy crowded bar, the bartender will often prioritize taking the orders of patrons he’s already seen tip him/her (like leaving a dollar or two each time you go up to order a drink). If you’re gonna be earning more tips focusing on certain people, you will. When it comes to restaurant waitstaff, it only really applies if you go there often enough for them to remember you from past visits. Same thing with pizza delivery drivers if you order pizza or takeout often.
It works, too. We used to tip $5-$10 when we would order pizza from a pizza place where we lived at the time. We were told, at one point, that the delivery drivers competed to see who would deliver our pizza and ours was always delivered first, piping hot. The drivers were all super friendly and were very grateful for the tips. It was always nice to see the huge smile when a new driver would show up. It was a way for us to not only get our pizza a little faster, but also to make someone's evening. Now we live right across the street from a pizza place, so we don't do delivery anymore. Kind of a bummer.
@@SuperDrLisa Same. I like to cook but when I want a night off, it's always nice to have food delivered fresh and hot. Plus a good tip seems to make their night a little better, so why not?
I think with the formalities it depends on age, region of the country and office culture. Some places I worked I called boss by first name some I didn’t. In the South, it might be considered rude/offensive to call a much older person simply by their first name. If you don’t call them Mr. Ms and last name then you would call them that and their first name. But when I lived on the West Coast, it wasn’t offensive. In the South also commonly say sir and ma’am. If not, you are considered not to have manners. Southerners tend to hug you the first time they meet you in the South if you are a friend of a friend or relative. And they usually want to feed you. Go ahead and eat even of you aren’t hungry because they are going to keep asking you otherwise. Also be prepared for some light teasing 😂
The rule in our house used to be take your shoes off at the door....how long did that last about a week before someone wore shoes inside than it never went back because no matter how hard we tried it was impossible to get my siblings and nephew's to take their shoes off at the door
There are so many different customs, in so many different areas of the United States. The mannerisms and attitudes of the people are also very different from each other. When I lived in the south, people are very much huggers, up north, not so much. Even daily pace is so different, some areas it is very quick paced, and other areas much more laid back.
1:10 we don't use the term queue, but I think we very much do so. We call it forming a line , getting in line, waiting in line. When I was teaching, it was always like "Okay, I need two straight lines and then we'll head to gym class" or things to that effect.
Yes. Calling it the “queue” will probably result in confused looks. And while of course we line up, perhaps the difference is we tend not to unless or until there’s an immediate reason to.
I don't really mind tipping! A lot of Americans don't really go out to eat to a "sit down" restaurant that often. Many actually prefer to cook at home. However, yes! It can add up the more you go out.
I go to sit down restaurants more than fast food ones. I think it has to do with the kinds of foods that people in my part of the country traditionally eat aren’t served at fast food restaurants. Either you cook or you go to a sit down. Sit down doesn’t necessarily mean expensive where I am because many are mom and pop.
When I visit Canada, I find that it is "the norm" to remove shoes as in UK. It is so odd for me because as an American (maybe I'm the only one? ) I feel like these people are asking for part of my "attire", that by taking off my shoes I am less "dressed" than when I began and I likely do not know whomever enough for that to be an acceptable feeling. From the other direction, as the host, I'm thinking "I don't know you and you have your "exposed" feet, or exposed sweaty sock, mushing your foot sweat, into my carpet....." -Not a happy image lol. If I have invited you to dinner, do I really want to smell foot smells?? Or look at unattractive toe nails?? Lets be honest, there are some ugly feet out there, and I don't want to see them. If we BOTH keep our shoes on we maintain exactly the social closeness distance we had when we were outside of the house. Besides, when I chose my outfit, the shoes were factored in as part of the "look".
When you enter an Asian home and are asked to remove your shoes, there are guest slippers provided. I would assume the same for anywhere else shoes are asked to be removed.
@@adrasteia3866 I've never been inside an Asian home. Unfortunately, none of the other homes I've visited that participate in the no-shoes system has slippers. And do all guests share the same slippers or are they disposable/one use slippers?
I also think we Americans probably tend to have a lot more shoes. I know I have at least 20 and I downsized recently. I have shoe racks in my closet. Would suck to have to keep all those shoes by the door. I remove my shoes in my bedroom unless I’ve been in the mud which is unusual for me.
@@anndeecosita3586 heck my American self has 2 pairs of shoes. A pair of heels and a pair of tennis shoes I wear every day. I never understood why people need so many shoes.
The assertion that Australians and New Zealanders expect to sit in the front of a cab is just plain incorrect. We sit in the back too (especially women, since it is safer.)
Please consider that norms for different ethnic groups may be different from the general American norm. While there are touchy feely people in every culture, some cultures are more characterized by it. I would say African Americans are more touchy feely than Americans in general. But to be on the safe side, if you are visiting the US, let the US person guide your behavior as to what is acceptable or expected in that person's culture, state, region, town. Don't assume. especially when it comes to something such as touching and personal space. If the people you meet are huggers, they'll hug you first. Then it's okay to hug back.
you're 100% right that employers should make up the difference so people do not need tips in order to live. that's one of the reasons why there's a big employment shortage at a lot of restaurants right now. people are realizing that there are other jobs where you can work the same amount of time and actually live off the wage
One thing to remember is if you're in a more expensive restaurant they usually automatically add a 15% tip. Or even regular restaurants sometimes add automatically a tip for groups of 6 & up.
My mom has worked for Wal-Mart since 1988. She has met Sam Walton a dozen or so times before he passed away, and after only a couple of meetings he insisted she call him Sam, as he tended to do with all employees that worked at her store back then. If you ask my mom, "Outside of family, who is the nicest person you've met?". Without hesitation she'll name Sam Walton.
I always find the “loud American” a strange thing for us. We are told from young ages to “speak up, speak clearly “ I always assumed because we have such a mix of cultures and people that it’s a way to make sure you are understood correctly. I never realized it was odd until I went to other countries 🤷🏼♀️
The shoes are more of a “be respectful” type of thing. Ask first if it’s ok to keep or take off your shoes, make sure your shoes are clean enough on the bottoms if your keep them on, if you do take off your shoes, make sure your feet don’t smell more like laundry soap then cheese. In my house, we replaced the carpet on the main for floor with hardwood and tile so that issue never comes up.
Plus, just take a second to notice if your host is wearing shoes and if there are shoes next to the door. Also, shoes should be clean enough if you are visiting someone's home, generally speaking.
I come from a country where everyone takes their shoes off but their feet can be nastier. I'd rather keep my shoes on if I can, you never know if there's a random shard of glass waiting for your precious toes.
If they're a shoe-free house there will be a shoe rack or a collection of shoes at the door already as a visual indicator. In homes where the shoes are worn inside they tend to be left in the bedrooms.
For the thing about the shoes, remember we drive everywhere and have sidewalks so our shoes are really clean. And a lot of people have garages so they can go from home to work and back without even going outside. Especially in our climate where it’s not rainy or snowy. If there’s mud or snow, yea take them off. But usually there’s nothing on our shoes to ruin the floor. I actually find people taking off their shoes in my house rude because to me that’s too intimate. I have to know you well in order for you to take off your shoes. If work colleagues are having a dinner party at someone’s house for example, we are all still wearing our dress shoes inside. I also have 4 cats so they’re the ones messing up the floor. Nothing worse than ruining your sock when you step in cat puke! Lol! I also can’t stand when I step in water that’s spilled on the floor while I’m washing dishes so I wear shoes there too sometimes.
The gift thing! I'm an American, married to a Brit for 24yrs. Have felt like the most ill-mannered lout for years, since a friend of my in-laws gave my toddler a gift. My reaction was to immediately help her start opening it, so she could see it, react and thank him for the adorable bear. My in-laws immediately, and seemingly instinctively (before we could get it open) asked my daughter "What do you say?", as if we'd forgotten our manners (or I'd never taught them to her). The thank you was definitely coming, but I think for Americans, it's a genuine reaction to the gift they've chosen for us. For Brits, it seems like a genuine reaction to the fact that they gave me a gift, regardless of what it is... Both good ideas, just different.
3:35- your typical diner/restaurant waitstaff makes ~2.75/hr before those tips, that's how our restaurant prices if you get it to go are so cheap comparatively. And not tipping isn't even the worst, leaving one penny for horrible service is the biggest insult. Source: have been on both sides of that example over the years.
In Minnesota, people generally take their shoes off at someone’s home. This took some getting used to. I grew up in Utah and Arizona and I didn’t know any family that had you take your shoes off in their home except one and it seemed rude at the time for them to ask you to remove your shoes. Now I realize they were probably from a part of the country where that is the norm.
I can attest it is not real common in Utah. If someone just came into my house and took their shoes off without asking, I'd feel super awkward about it.
Regarding being load...some of that is do to the large open outdoor spaces that Americans grow up in. Example My granddad taught me to project my voice so that he could hear me call him at the other side of his 2acre property he lived on. So now when I need to be heard over a crowd or from a distance I can be
Random fact. Hawaii has many cultural differences compared to the rest of the USA due to its history. In Hawaii you should NEVER enter someone's home with shoes on
That's a very Asian custom. I always remove my shoes when entering the houses of my Asian friends, especially if I see a shoe rack of some kind by the door. If in doubt, I ask!
I’m really glad they brought up the cleaning up after yourself at a fast food restaurant. I work fast food and it drives me crazy when people leave their trash. Some places will ban you if you leave a huge mess.
The "small talk" thing is regional. Maybe it's much more prevalent in areas like the Southern U.S., but seems to be scarcer in areas like the West Coast where I live: people here just want to go about their day with minimal delays.
As an older American I have to say that the tipping culture has changed in recent years .. before it was acceptable that if your service was sub standard you could not tip .. as an insult if the server was rude as well you would leave a penny .. now days it is demanded of you inspite of service and that to me defeats the whole purpose of what a tip was and should be for.. also tips were generally for food servers and bartenders or waitresses/waiters in bars .. and depending on your travels stays .. baggage handlers at hotels on ships and trains or doormen flagging you a taxi ... nowadays it is for anyone providing a service even fast food places will have a cup at the pay window .. personally for me a tip is for service provided not to inspire better service and places that ring up a tip automatically do not get me as a patron .. lastly many places have to pool their tips and divide them at the end of a shift .. which means Bill who slacked off all day and was rude gets the same amount as Harry who worked his ass off which I dont consider fair ..
And I'd be embarrassed for anyone who just walked in my house and took their shoes off without asking. It's weird to do that in another person's house! Just ask.
Really? I guess it just really depends where you are in the US. I'm an american and I, as well as most americans I know, remove my shoes in my own home and ask that visitors do the same. It's just more likely than not that when you go to someone's house around here, you'll take your shoes off in the entryway, so I expect it. If I'm not asked to take them off, I always ask if I should.
My common response to "How are you doing today?" usually gets odd looks!! I usually reply with "Well I'm not dead so I must be doing alright! You?" or "Well I woke up so it's a good day!!" I'm a bit strange!
When people say, just pay them more, where do you think the "more" would come from? Prices go up, you're going to pay for it anyway. I would rather pay the server directly. There was one restaurant my girlfriend and I would frequent. We tipped good and we got an excellent table and service every time! It's fine to expect a job to be done "to standard", but people are people. It's completley natural to do a little extra if you think you might get compensated extra.
When it comes to tipping. I just move the decimal one place to the left then double it. So, 23.00 = 2.30 * 2 = $4.60 tip! that's 20%. Hopefully, that helps when you get to visit the states. I always tip 20% unless they were outright rude.. b/c they could just really be having a bad day you never know. Plus, I know they don't make good wages, so maybe the tip will make their day a little better. The shoes in the house thing. I'd only care if I had lots of carpet in my house, but since my house is hardwood/ tile it's super easy to clean.
Tipping really isn't that big of a deal as it sounds. I tip when I eat out, but not everywhere I get food. If you live here, then you tend to avoid the services that require tipping. It's not really an everyday occurrence, but more of a "going out" thing...I'm self employed (container design ie I go to people's home and make their flower pots pretty), and provide a service, but I have never been tipped.
Can you react "Visit Chicago - The DON'Ts of Visiting Chicago" by Wolters World? Chicago is the largest city in the US Midwest, and different from cities in the South and in Texas.
The no shoes thing varies greatly. I do think more and more people have a no shoes in house policy than in the past, especially among younger people with small children that crawl around and play on the floor. We have the no shoes thing but only more recently. When people come over to our house, they will usually see that we aren’t wearing our shoes and have a spot for them by the front door. They most often ask if we want them to take their shoes off. We say whatever they want to do is fine with us. They usually take that as a cue to remove their shoes.
Servers make more most of the time with tips than they would if they would paid the standard minimum wage. My son delivers pizza and sometimes he makes an extra $150 a night over his basic pay. You don't have to tip that many people, hairdresser delivery drivers, sometimes mechanics or people who takyour groceries to your car(rare). I think there a few others in bigger cities. And of of course you don't have to tip at all.
We have doormats that we expect you to wipe your shoes on if muddy or wet. We don't want to be smelling stinky feet, and with the temps we have here that can be a big problem.
Removing shoes when you walk into a house is for someone who lives there or who will be staying the night. If you're just visiting, you leave your shoes on.
A lot of these are the same in Canada. As for the shoes in houses it depends on the people. My extended family and most of my friends, we take our shoes off unless they tell us otherwise. When I used to babysit I'd take my shoes off too. If it was someone whose home I hadn't been to before I just ask or they'll tell me if I leave them on. As for the boss part that depends on the job and your boss, at least in my experience. I did call some bosses by their first names but if their boss came in I would say Mr/Miss/Mrs accordingly. I worked in healthcare and I could never refer to a doctor by their first name except for one because her last name was so difficult to pronounce it was easier to call her by her first name.
I don't know about a lot of his comments. Mine was a touchy feely kind of family. Hugs and slaps on the back. Lots of laughter. Many homes require shoes off at the door. I see no problem with that. I have tile floors and dogs and cats. I garden a lot so I'd recommend anyone keep their shoes on in my house until I clean! LOL Somewhere along the way, I missed the memo on tipping hotel/motel staff. Geez they deserve it but like you said, they work for huge corporations that should pay them more. I don't travel much like I did so there that is. Also new minimum wage should be taking effect at $15.00/hr. Great reaction.
"Tipping culture" is a con, run by businesses at the expense of workers and customers. Essentially, they charge customers for the service (haircut, taxi ride, restaurant meal, bar-served cocktail, etc) and pressure the customer to pay the service provider's wage, as well. I try to tip generously when I utilize such services. It's a bit of an internal conflict. On the one hand, I despise the system and feel that playing into it only encourages an obscene injustice. On the other hand, I can't look an honest, hard working person in the face, and cheat them of their right to provide for themselves.
Think about tipping this way: if the person giving you service has a narrowly defined set of duties, they will not be expecting a tip. However, if their duties are more broadly defined, thus giving them the option of providing extra services, you should tip them on how they did. So, the cashier at the grocery store is paid to ring up your purchases, bag them, and take payment. There's not a lot of room for extra services so that person is not tipped. While a waiter is paid to take your order, bring your food, and collect your payment, checking on you and refilling your drinks is something she can throw in, doing a good job or doing it badly. My barber is paid to cut my hair but she often throws in extras like trimming my eyebrows and shaving my edges with a straight razor. So she gets tipped.
Im from the Midwest, and Around here it’s definitely rude to walk into somebody’s house with your shoes on (at least without asking first). Sometimes Id say we make special exceptions for people who are elderly and can’t take their shoes off easily. Most people that I know have some sort of dedicated or makeshift mudroom area. I suppose for here, it has a lot to do with the snow days.
For the most part, tipping really isn't supposed to insure good service, most wait staff will give you good service regardless, it's mostly because waiters in the US aren't paid as much as their European counterparts. The tradeoff there is that food is typically quite a bit cheaper in the US than it is in Europe, even when eating out at restaurants. So don't expect it to be super expensive. We're so used to it we always consider how much the tip will add when we order our food at the very beginning. Also, as for the shoes thing, I was always raised to take my shoes off when I enter a house, and I still think it's weird if I see people with their shoes on indoors. I don't even tie my shoes anymore, because it's easier just to keep them tied and slip them on and off whenever I leave or get home.
I’m American and the hugging & kissing friends & family and on occasion neighbors was a norm I grew up with in NYC. The first time I bought my husband back to my neighborhood he was not expecting it. I had moved away, so it had been a few yrs since I’d been back and it seemed like I was kissing & hugging everyone I met. Even the lady behind the counter at the bakery came out and gave me a big hug & kiss… then called back to her husband to come say hi😂😂😂 Hubby got kisses & hugged by so many people he didn’t know and rolled with it. 30 yrs later he’s only recently figured out some of my aunts uncles & cousins are not actually blood relatives
Yes! This is also a thing in much of the southern states. Maybe it's part of the cultures we all came from? I know my Italian family was very touchy-feely. But in the south, it's quite common to hear someone want to "hug your neck." Now, this isn't necessarily true for strangers, mind you, but like at my church, you get a handshake the first time you are greeted, but second time it's likely to be a hug.
I even get tips as a front desk agent lol, it's nice because it keeps me motivated to do everything outside of my job description in these troubling times..
I feel like in most of the US we just expect people to have decently clean shoes when they're out and about. I dunno if thats true everywhere, the shoe rules vary from region to region.
I live in the north of U.S. (Ohio) It is customary to ask if we should take our shoes off when we are a guest. Most feel it is rude to require a guest to take their shoes off. So, if the weather is dry, most hosts will say to leave them on. If the weather is snowy or rainy, many people won't ask. They'll just take their shoes off. Most homes have a pile of shoes by the garage door.
Tipping is the business owner's way of passing the employee's wage cost onto the consumer. This is unique to the USA, where it's legal to pay your employees far less than the value of their labor. The tipping system is in place to force the consumer to pay a significant portion of the worker's pay.
Unless you're talking about the rare company that subsists on government grants or donations, consumers always pay for ALL of a businesses costs (not just wages). Sales, fees, and gratuities are how businesses pay for everything. When you buy a product from a private business, you are paying a portion of their electric bill, heating bill, rent, wages, insurance, equipment, and inventory. The tipping arrangement in US restaurants simply changes HOW consumers pay those costs. Rather than having them built into the price of the items on the menu, the costs are divided between fixed prices on the menu and gratuities on top. I'm not personally a fan of the system as a consumer, but those in the restaurant business prefer it because they have the potential to earn more money and pay less in taxes. It's also untrue that the US is the only economy where similar types of arrangements exist: most countries have commission-based jobs where only a small part of a person's compensation is paid in the form of a salary. Some people simply prefer to bet on themselves and trade some security for the potential of higher earnings.
@@randlebrowne2048 this is a false narrative since you are assuming the cost of the meal can go up continuously without losing business. When the ration of exec to worker pay has gone from 25:1 to 500+:1, it's clear the lost value of labor doesn't have a direct relationship to the product.
@@lougiacobbi725 Do you *seriously* mean to suggest that *CEO* wages are comparable to those of *restaurant* staff? A restaurant, in almost all cases, runs on razor-thin profit margins. Actual profit, after expenses like rent, utilities, food and wages, is most often measured in *cents* rather than dollars. There is simply no way to substantially increase wages, in the way you suggest, without increasing prices. Restaurant chain executives are generally in the *real-estate* and *marketing* business, more than the food industry. They make *their* money by selling franchise rights to small business owners; not directly selling food to customers. That makes a huge difference when discussing potential pay scales.
@@randlebrowne2048 you are correct. Also, many restaurants are family owned and the CEO is the owner/manager/chef/and head janitor. In order to be profitable a restaurant must run under 30% food cost. Don't forget, taxes, insurance, permits, licenses, gas, water, electricity. There is always a cooler going out, a pluming issue, or the a/c won't work so you have a contract with a repair person to keep these things running. Restaurants are very expensive to run.
O.K., after reading many comments, I do have something to add. I live in Canada, which means that we get all sorts of weather, but I have travelled extensively. Not only do I have relatives all over the U.S., as well as have travelled all over the U.S., I've also lived in a few states for lengthy periods of time. My comment: I consider it to be out of respect that someone removes their shoes upon entering a home! Most shoes have treads where all kinds of who knows what can get embedded and a shoe scraper at the door isn't going to get into the groves of those treads. How does that home owner know that you didn't walk through dog chit, or vomit (fresh or old), or who knows what else may be hiding on those city sidewalks, or, . . . . wherever your shoes may have carried you. Who can guarantee that everyone cleans up the same as you, or does a good job when they do. {I'm referring to a restaurant or a store where something was spilled and then 'cleaned'} It's like the bottom of a purse/handbag or back-pack? Those items get placed and dropped down by your side everywhere! Just like shoes, they probably carry the most germs and who knows what else! Just think about what happens on those city sidewalks, store, restaurant, lounge, bar, hotel lobby, stadium and arena floors! Really ?! Think about it! If I'm a home owner & I think that you have smelly feet, or are a 'not-so-clean' person, I'm not inviting you into my home! If you know that you have terrible smelly feet, do something about it! Bring an extra pair of light shoes or slippers, flip-flops or slip-ons with you (out of respect for others) to slip on when you remove your outdoor shoes. Keep them tucked away in your car, purse or back-pack. Put a light dusting of baking soda in your shoes to combat the sweat and odour. Never have I heard that removing your shoes upon entry means that you are "making yourself at home"!! Or plan to stay a while! It "Only" means that I am respecting your home and your surroundings! Comments about the Japanese and their Getas. Yes, they are washed and sterilized after each use. Also, with todays technology, they can be made with materials that are cheap enough to throw away after each use. And I haven't even watched this video yet! lol I'm about to now. The cost of living. Well, that depends on where you travel. Don't just look at the U.S., look at all of North America. All along the west coast, in your major populated areas like what is referred to as the Silicon Valley mostly in California, we in Canada also have what could be referred as the same thing in regards to Vancouver and the surrounding areas of both. Prices are going to be higher in your major metropolises, like Los Angeles, Vancouver, Calgary, New York, Toronto, Minneapolis, Miami, etc. They have a higher population and of course, out of the greed of today's society, businesses want to cater to the majority of people, but really, they want to cater mainly to the higher paid. Thinking that they'll not only be willing to spend more, but in the end, it means more profit. Anything you purchase in these areas are going to be cheaper in less major cities. Even if it is the same store! A pair of shoes that cost you $100 in Vancouver Canada, will probably cost you $80 in Edmonton, Regina, Winnipeg, etc. That is the same as in the U.S. The cost of living is different in each metropolis. Basically, the further away you move from the centre of a major city, the cheaper it gets.
When they give a general "In America" keep in mind it's like saying "In Europe". The area of the US is so large, and the climate and people so diverse, that it's rare that one rule that fits "America" fits all of it. The shoes are a perfect example. Generally where it snows or rains a lot, people don't keep shoes on in the house. They even have a full room (called a mud room) to remove shoes, boots, jackets, etc before coming into the main area of the house.
This is very true. You would definitely hear it from my mom if you walked around her house with your shoes on. We live in the Northeast and we have a room when you first walk in to remove shoes and coats.
@@tomdowling638 Republican Socialist? Never met one of those...
@@corinnepmorrison1854 neither have I, lol. But he has a point on prices, in Wa State, it's so much more expensive than when I lived in Oklahoma
@@shawnsodano2835 Same in California and even parts of Nevada... Cost of living is lower here in Wyoming...but we have fewer choices of anything and everything... I love living here none-the-less... Endless blue skies...no air pollution...no street lights, so, no light pollution... Wildlife in abundance...whitetails, antelope, elk, moose, mountain lions, bears...and smaller critters...badgers, chipmunks, etc... We are up on a mountaintop...on a private dirt road... It is peaceful...and quiet...
Before the pandemic, salt, pepper and sometimes sauces like ketchup/mustard were just on your table. Not so much now.
BTW I usually answer the 'How are you?' With Good/OK/I've been better.
No, in the US, we get in the back of the taxi. Most of the time. And I have been out of contact with my sister for years over her deal with my shoe policy. Her husband backed me up.
The indirectness is real. To directly say, "No, I don't like that" or "No, I don't want that" instead of saying something along the lines of "thank you so much, but I think I'm okay at the moment" I think would be considered rude in most places in the US. You can speak the truth but we take care to not sound like we're insulting their tastes.
An addition to the "Hi, how are you?" greeting, people can read your body language and see you're NOT having a good day and ask "Hi, rough day?" and you answer," Yeah, ___ sucks." then they usually commiserate and say "Yeah, same." or "Sorry to hear that; hope things get better,". We do mean it. We genuinely do hope things get better for others because we all been there.
So true!!
Absolutely true.
Yes!!!
Some times the reply is “living the dream” which means they are in fact NOT living the American Dream and life is pretty crappy at the moment.
Had a good conversation with my wife recently about this, prompted by a similar video. The brief "how are you?" is NOT just a garbage question or a greeting that means no more than "hello". It's a social shorthand that says, at the very least, "hey, I care about you as a human being and hope you're doing well". And the response is NOT always just an echoing "fine (which may be a lie), how are you?" Lots of people are bothered by lying, even in such an "innocent" situation, and so find ways to respond even to strangers or others who they *don't* want to share more with that are not lies, but are still very brief and don't violate the boundaries of the relationship (which oversharing of personal information and feelings in a socially distant relationship would do). They might say "been better" or "hanging in there" or just "eh" or not answer the question at all, but simply skip the answer and repeat back the question (which IS an answer: it indicates that the person is not comfortable sharing with you how they're doing, probably because they're not doing particularly well and they do not consider you a friend, or a close enough friend, to share even that much with).
And if the relationship actually IS a closer one, then the person will respond with more information. Generally the immediate response will still be brief, but exactly how it's given and what's said depends on how close the people consider the relationship to be. So this greeting is a way to briefly check in with each other while at the same time giving each other signals about how close you think your relationship is and how you would like it to be. If someone indicates that they're not doing well, and the people are close friends, the other will probably follow up by asking what's going on, and what they can do to help. If they're not that close, the other will probably signal the close of that conversational direction by simply saying "sorry to hear it" or "hang in there" or something, or maybe just nodding with a serious expression to acknowledge having heard, or maybe nothing at all, and then changing the subject.
If there is imbalance -- one person thinks it is, or wants it to be, a close relationship, and the other doesn't -- then the greeting and responses will also point that up pretty quickly.
In 25 yrs as a server I never gave prompt service for a tip. I gave prompt service out of respect. Some guests were hard working like I was and could hardly afford to go out. They deserve the same service as anyone else.
You may have never given prompt service for a tip, but you were given tips for the prompt service.
In the video to which he is referring (I saw it earlier) the point was that in a busy bar, if you fail to tip the bartender they may be more eager & prompt to mix a second or third drink to someone at the other end of the bar who is tipping. I think that's fair. It's their wage, after all.
I see so many posts about "why not just pay them a living hourly wage?" and it never comes from people who are servers. I wonder if a poll were conducted with ACTUAL servers if they would rather get paid more hourly and less tips or keep it how it is?
@@AndySaputo when I was a "waitress" I made enough to raise a son and pay my bills. Most of us at that time liked the way it was. Not all mind you but I see so many who want more than they are willing to give. I started at $1.10 hr and had to quit at $7.50 and had some of the best time ever and met some great people.
@@AndySaputo In Washington state servers get the state minimum wage plus the tips so they can really make good money since our state minimum wage is higher than most states.
"To Insure Prompt Service" is usually only in reference to hotel/bellhop/baggage service, not restaurant service.
RE: #1 - "Don't they already put condiments on the table?" Sometimes. There are so many different styles of restaurants, and they all have their own way of doing things. Sometimes they will issue prepackaged condiments with the meals. Sometimes there are condiments on the tables. Sometimes there is a condiment stand that you pass by on the way to your table. In any event, if you're craving something that you don't see, it's okay to ask. 😀
I think in some high end restaurants, you might not find condiments provided at the table because they have a fancy chef who is preparing the food exactly to the taste they created. In some italian restaurants, the waiter/waitress might come by with a pepper mill or some parmesan cheese and ask if you'd like them to add it for you. In diners or other less formal places, you will probably find the condiments right there on the table. That being said, I have no problem asking for salt, pepper, ketchup, etc. no matter where I'm at.
Adding on to this, in fine dining, it is definitely considered rude to ask for anything that isn't out. At a casual restaurant, go ahead, but if there's a prix fixe menu for $100 a head and you needed to make reservations months before, don't ask for ketchup.
There are also typical condiments (salt, pepper, ketchup, maybe hot sauce depending on the location) but specialty condiments may also be available if you ask, e.g. malt vinegar or mayonnaise for dipping fried potatoes, tamari or soy sauce for rice dishes, extra-super-hot sauce for the courageous, pickles or Dijon mustard for your burger, or carafes of oil & vinegar for an undressed salad.
Of the things to remember is that nearly all houses apartments dwellings have rugs or mats at the door specifically there so you can wipe your shoes on them before you come in and then the Southwest we country homes have a metal plate specifically designed for cleaning mud and muck off boots before you come into a home
About the shoes, they are expected to be clean. We expect you to be a normal human and not have nasty shoes. If you just trudged through mud, you better NOT just walk right in.
Exactly! Use the mat out front to wipe the bottom off or just leave them beside it 🤣
You must not live where it snows😂 In the midwest and east where it snows a lot, it's rude to walk around with shoes. No matter how much wiping you do, there's snow stuck in the treads and it melts and tracks water all over the house. Most people kick their shoes off.
@@AndySaputo I addressed that point in my comment.
@@peterhineinlegen4672 Shoot I been in some people's houses where you dare not take your shoes off or you'll end up with a rash or somethin'
Nope, nope, nope. Don't come into my house with shoes on. I consider it rude and do ask people when I go to their house if I need to take them off.
American's feel "guilty" about not tipping due to the fact that there is a stupid part of the Fair Labor Standards mandate that says that people that earn more than $30 in tips PER MONTH be paid at least $2.13/hr in wages. This means that an entire category of workers have their minimum wage set at that ridiculously low rate. So not tipping those workers means that they literally won't make enough just from their paychecks to live. The fact that anyone can pay an employee that little legally is just appalling to me.
Also, taxes are deducted from the paycheck, not just based on the $2.13 per hour pay, but on the hourly wage plus the reported tips. The amount of reported tips can be calculated several different ways. Usually either 8% of the server's ticket sales, or simply declaring tips to be equivalent to the difference between $2.13 and min. wage. Taxes are deducted at about 22 or 23% of the gross pay, so the paychecks cover the taxes and the tips are the take home pay. Oh, and servers are expected to share their tips with other workers, like busboys and dishwashers.
In California, the minimum wage IS the minimum wage for any position and is currently about $15/hr. You still cant live on your own with that though.
@@hithere8140 In every state the cost of living is higher than the state's minimum wage can support. The federal minimum wage is $7.25, which is too low to live on anywhere, and here in Georgia, the state's minimum wage is $5.15.
Thats not exactly how tipped waged works. They may make 2.13 per hour, but anything that tips do not cover up to 7.25 the owner MUST cover. So in the end, their tipped waged, tips and owner will pay them 7.25.
Also, a good deal of our food genuinely IS cheaper than Europe or the UK, so Kabir's comment about cost of living needs to account for that.
It’s been several years since I was in Europe. But I learned real quick that sharing your table in a busy eating establishment, with a stranger, was not uncommon. Then ignoring the other party as a way of separating your different groups. I the US if you ask to share a table you are also asking to join the group.
Not necessarily. Lots of places do communal or farm style seating now and I’ve never included folks from another party into our group just because we were both sat at a communal table together 20 mins apart.
The first time this happened to me outside the US I was so thrown. I had no clue how to interact with table shares. It just isn't a thing unless it's obviously a thing.
@@laurencooper654 it's different. In the US if you have farm or bar seating the table reflects it: you'll typically have a long bar like table. Outside the US it'll be a regular 4-6 person table with split parties. I was sat down with an unknown party of two at a four-person table.
@@laurencooper654 that’s not that common, I think. The nearest place to me with communal tables is about an hour away in another state. Could be regional. I’m in a medium-sized city in the Deep South.
Aside from the obvious places (bars, farm style seating), it's a rarity to sit at a table with someone you don't know. If there's no other seats available you could ask the person(s) at the table if you could sit there, but that's not assumed, and if you did so without asking (or if they said no), you would generally be considered rude. I think it goes back to the personal bubble idea. Sitting next to someone you don't know while doing something as personal as eating is not all that comfortable for most folks.
For #4, opening a gift. It is actually polite to ask first, “Should I open it now?” So you don’t seem greedy.
Depending on the situation, most will say yes.
Some people will hand it to you and tell you to open it now.
I also think that asking is the better advice. Your reaction might be the giver's reward, or maybe it's a gag gift to make you laugh and sharing the reaction would be half the fun!
@@otis299 The one place you don't open a gift automatically is when you are holding a party in a restaurant You take the gifts into the restaurant and open the gifts at the end of the meal. Don't forget to tip bigger if you leave the wrapping paper behind for the staff (although if you put the wrapping in the gift bag and take it back to the car with you, that's okay).
It's also rude to not open the card and read it FIRST. I don't expect my gift to be opened at a wedding at ALL, and something like a bridal/baby shower will be opened at a designated time at the party, and also some birthday parties. It detracts the host and/or guest of honor from greeting other people also arriving.
I personally don't like the "open the gift now, so I can see your reaction" thing. I have a few people in my life who routinely buy me gifts that are inappropriate, bought without much thought to what I might like or PERSONAL HYGEINE items most people buy for themselves! I often am polite in speech, but my facial expressions give my feelings away. It's a real emotional minefield for me, but I've learned to put on a stoic front, grit out a smile and a "thank you", and give the gift to charity later. Worse still, they buy bargain rack/bin things and LEAVE THE PRICE TAG ON! Never leave the price TAG on!
@@babbetteduboise4284 ffs 😂😂😂😂
I would add that if you're staying with family for Christmas, attending a birthday party, attending a bridal shower or baby shower, or attending a wedding, it is not expected that you open your present immediately, but rather put the gift on "the gift table" or "under the tree" to be opened later, at a time designated by your hosts.
Kabir: IMO most of those "rules" are more suggestions and generalizations. In many situations, just ask if it's OK. With your charming accent and smile, most people will be more than happy to guide you. (And, yes, most Americans are helpful.) Can't wait to hear about your trip to the US next year! Please do videos of you on your trip!
Yeah you're right he does have a charming accent unlike most British boring accents
The rule for tipping might be 15%-20% but it can still be based on the service you get and also on just what that 15% ends up being. E.g. I recently went out for breakfast and my total bill was less than $12. My waitperson was deserving of more than a $1.80 tip so I left 3 and some change.
True. It's rude to leave a tip less than $2 for table service. In this day and age I don't think I'd go below $3.
True! And tipping was originally copied from Europeans in the late 19th century. It was away for the newly rich Americans to flaunt their wealth and and show they were up to date with Europeans (maybe just Brits). However, it quickly evolved into an excuse for employers in service Industries to keep wages low in service jobs mostly occupied by blacks, and let tips make up the difference. Restaurants tips are split between the wait staff and the kitchen staff like dishwasher and bus person who clears the table. The person that serves your food is not going to get all of the money. Cash tips.are greatly appreciated and considered a normal courtesy even if you pay with a credit card and could include tip with that payment. It's an open secret that cash tips give the server the option to avoid paying some income tax. It is easy for most to report a lower tip amount than actually received. When minimum wage laws came into effect during World War II, businesses lobbied to have the law mandate a much lower wage for people in customer service jobs that were still overwhelmingly held by blacks. Tipping with used as a justification to maintain the race-based difference. To this day there is a huge difference in minimum wage for restaurant workers as opposed to retail sales clerk, for example. In my area restaurant wait staff are paid a minimum of about $2.50 per hour. But someone working in a store would receive a minimum wage of about $8 an hour. If the store isn't busy the worker gets the same pay everyday. But workers in a restaurant that is not busy might go home with little.more than minimum wage in their pocket. This is why it's really, really rude not to leave at least a minimal tip of 15% or for a small bill of about $3. If you have a large number of people eating together and paying on one bill some restaurants will automatically add 15% gratuity, so look closely at that bill if you are paying for a large party. It's still only fair to add a cash tip on top of that and give directly to the server, even if service was just normal good. Also tip.well if anyone in your group was rude or unkind to the server, if your group had special demands that made more work for the server. Also.tip more if you stayed a long time in the restaurant and prevented the server from seating another guest in the same timeframe.
To add to what Jones4Leather said: the lowest minimum wage in the US is just $5.15 per hour (in Wyoming and Georgia). And there's no state where working full time for the minimum wage is enough to actually live on, above the poverty line, much less to support a family.
An easy way to tip, is to multiply the tax amount by two. If the service is awesome, add a little extra.
Sometimes, sauces are not on the table. Salt and pepper usually are though.
I see ketchup on the table if it’s a restaurant that serves fries. I think they anticipate people will want ketchup on their fries. Salt, peoper and Peppersauce are commonly on the table too but maybe because I live in the South. Streak sauce, and mustard are usually things that have to requested where I am.
Little to nothing on the table since Covid.
About the whole shoes indoors thing, Many of us go right from our house, to the garage to the car to the paved driveway to the friend's house so we don't usually have muddy or soaked shoes. And, as to us Americans who live out on a dusty ranch, well, it's going to be dusty inside too. So, we rather have you keep your shoes one to protect your socks from getting dirty and to prevent the dog from carrying your shoe away to the back of the stable.
And if you got a muddy yard, you already know it and will explain what to do as needed.
It's less common in the south to take your shoes off because we don't generally deal with any snow/endless days of rain like Washington, Wisconsin, or New York etc.
Somethin' us southern folk don't know is salt trucks that snow plow the roads after massive blizzards leave heaps of salty snow and ice mixture on your property/driveway/sidewalk that you must now shovel your way out of. This salt eats away at people's boots if exposed for long periods, and is hard to get off - there's really no point in buying a new pair until your toes poppin' out, so they just leave them outside or in a mud room. (Southern states generally don't have mud rooms...or basements - excluding tornado country of course)
Down here it's pretty much common sense to not step in that puddle and keep truckin'. You know damn well those girls from Georgia wearing Uggs in 75 degree weather got sweaty feet, and I don't want their sweaty feet on my floors lmao
I'm from the Intermountain States area and have relatives in ranching. Sometimes there is an entryway called a "mudroom" where you remove your shoes and boots before entering the main living area. It's to prevent debris from their muck boots tracked into the home. My boyfriend is a rancher. I live in town. He always removes his boots near my front door.
The price different between tipping in the US and not elsewhere is offset by the fact that our menu prices are WAY less (especially when considering portion sizes) than in most European countries. And yes, proper service should be expected regardless of tips, but the absolute guarantee that the server WON'T get a tip if they are lazy or rude usually is enough to make sure you get proper service. Teachers and paramedics make several times per hour what a waitress makes here. Paramedics here start at about $18 an hour where as wait staff make about $2 an hour plus tips. That's why you aren't expected to tip paramedics. Wait staff are hired knowing that about 80% of their money comes from tips. You screw over your customers, you go home with $16 for your 8 hour shift. You provide exemplary service, you could go home with well over $100 a day.
Maybe the best solution would just be the companies paying their workers a living wage instead? Like the rest of the world.
Yes, but you stiffing the person who served you won’t accomplish that.
@@Kaspisify Most wait staff in the US make more than wait staff in other countries after factoring in tips. Wait staff at a nice/busy restaurant in the US can do very well financially.
@@Kaspisify A lady I was dating was a waitress for a low to midline restaurant, she would bring home an average of $200.00 a day, and during the holiday season would bring home around $600.00-$800.00 per day. Does the rest of the worlds wait staff make that much?
No need to answer, because the answer is NO.
Being a server in a restaurant is not everyone's cup of tea, here in America if you can deal with assholes you will make an incredible wage.
I tried being a waiter once, I don't have the patience to deal with asshole people and made a super low daily income.
@@matthewayres1641 do you think a butt ugly male server gets those kinds of tips? Or fat?
But ok. If good looking girls can get paid, let's not worry about the rest. Fuck em.
I don't understand why anyone would think that because we tip in America, it must make everything more expensive. The total you pay for a meal doesn't increase due to tipping. It just means the total you pay is divided into two different parts, the meal itself and a tip for the service. If there was no tip then the servers would be paid more and thus the price of the meal before any tip would be increased such that it would roughly be equal to what you were paying under a system of tipping in total anyways.
Having experienced European and British wait staff and I'll take American wait staff and our tipping system any day. You definitely get friendlier and more attentive service here in the USA. I have friends who prefer the tipping system here because they make substantially more that way than their foreign counterparts.
American customer service, in general, is leaps and bounds better than anywhere else. I lived in continental Europe for the better part of 10 years, and it didn't matter if it was restaurant, hotel, or store, the customer service is subpar.
Plus the food is generally less expensive and larger portions even at a half way decent restaurant so even with the added tip, we still have a cheaper bill than you get at an European restaurant. Plus we take our leftovers home to warm up for another meal. It's easy to share a meal here too, you just order an extra salad and split the entree.
Only thing i didn't like a bout the American service when i was there the waiter waitresses kept coming back every few minutes to see if everything was ok and we just wanted to be left in peace. also when we finished they gave me the bill i felt like they were trying to rush us out
@Geoff Priestley servers come back and check on you frequently to see if there is anything they can do for you so you don't feel forgotten or feel that you are receiving poor service, to remove dishes out of your way, and to get you drink refills, some do take it to extremes, in which case you should feel free to politely say something akin to: "Thank you very much for your attentiveness to our table, but would you mind leaving us be for now, we would like to have a private conversation, and if we need anything I'll look for you and give you a little wave if we need attention". This way, you won't offend your server, and they'll know you want to be left alone. Placing the bill on the table is customary in the United States, and it's not to rush you out. It iss there so you don't have to ask for it, and so that they don't forget to give it to you.
@@ashlieneevel9671 i must admit at my local pub/restaurant you have to ask for the bill but we go in about 7.00 pm and leave about 10.30 and ive forgotten to pay them once i was in the car park and had to go back in but because we are there every week they know they'll get their money
Staff at restaurants do not always necessarily make minimum wage. Their compensation takes into consideration an average of daily tips.
I don’t know who these rude people are that you talked to but standing in line is definitely a thing in America.
I thought that too!! I worked for a company years ago that always put up a special are to handle the Christmas lines. The sign they put on it said "queue line." Seemed pretty redundant to me. 🤷🏻♀️
Keep in mind that these etiquette rules can vary from state to state and region my relatives in the south are very keen on taking their shoes off indoors but my family up here in Illinois we don’t bother with that at all also something I would add is that don’t be upset when eating at a restaurant if a waiter will take your dirty dishes when you’re done even though someone at the table might still be eating I know in some cultures it’s considered rude for the table to be cleared while others are still eating. And unless you’re eating at a very fancy restaurant that’s very expensive it could be considered rude ask for condiments but most restaurants aren’t like that and yes most restaurants also have salt pepper ketchup and hot sauce present the usual condiments you have to request or mustard and barbecue sauce and ranch.
I agree on the shoes thing. I live in the south and its like everyone here. I visited a friend where that wasn't the case and I felt weird walking around in my shoes in their house.
@@willster8759 I live in the south and have never taken my shoes off in anyone's house .
@@dalemoore8582 I don’t usually unless asked but I’ve seen this a lot with work boots. Remember the South has very agricultural roots so men traditionally would have been in the fields and muck.
@@anndeecosita3586
If you're shoes are covered in grass clippings, mud or some other mess then, of course, kick them off on the porch. I think most comments here are talking about usual, everyday, just walking around, shoes.
@@dalemoore8582 it may be a regional thing even within the south. I live in rural Kentucky and practically everyone here takes their shoes off entering someone's home. I visited a friend in Lexington, one of our bigger cities, and his family wanted me to keep my shoes on which was weird to me. I guess it just varies.
The thing about friendliness and random small talk varies a lot by region. In Seattle, people generally keep to themselves around strangers unless there's a specific reason to engage. It's considered perfectly fine for two people to walk past each other in a hallway or on a sidewalk without even glancing at each other, although some people will flash you a quick smile or head-bob right as you pass. In somewhere like Florida, on the other hand, total strangers will wave and call out friendly greetings even when you just drive past. My advice is to just observe what people around you are doing, and respond in kind when you are addressed. A nice smile is rarely out of place, even in the "Seattle Freeze," as some call it. Seattleites are generally quite polite, so they will talk with you if you initiate, and help you if you ask. They may just find it a little weird if you get overly familiar in your first meeting. Respect the bubble!
There are some habits I had just assumed was normal manners, I learned was actually “American” or “western” conventions before traveling to countries with different cultural backgrounds. It seems obvious that ofc different countries would develop their own mannerisms, but some you grow up all your life doing, it never crosses one’s mind that this is a “learned” behavior because of the environment we grow up in. A few that kinda shook me was how we try to hold open the door for the person behind you, or try to keep the elevator door open if we see someone coming. When I went to one of these countries and when following the person in front, I didn’t use my full force to open the door because my body was automatically half-expecting the person to try and keep the door open for me. The door almost smacked me in my face😂. That was a pretty shocking realization to me that holding the door is a cultural convention. Also when I was getting on the elevator, I’ll see people walking towards us to get on, but the person by the buttons would press the close button😧 hahahah wow being considerate of others is a LEARNED behavior. I never knew. I just assumed people would all try to be nice lol. But the American in me still tries to keep the door open for people around here, even though it’s not the norm here, I just can’t help it I guess. It’s a habit for me like it’s their habit to be rude? 🙃but i guess to them it isn’t rude, since that’s how they grew up. just thinking of #1. But I also learned some things that I thought was normal here in America is considered rude in those countries. They are very conscientious of noise levels, and try to be very considerate in public. They will look at you strangely if you try to take a phone call on the bus or subway. And when you are talking at a restaurant or cafe people try to keep their voiced down, about the level we Americans would normally use at a study library. I didn’t realize until moving here that we Americans are actually pretty loud when we talk. We like to use the full range of our vocals, but most places here like to tone it down by half a level so only the person right next to you can hear. And also people here don’t eat or drink outside while walking. There are street carts to buy food, but people don’t walk around eating like Americans would when we go to a fair. You buy the food and just stand or squat by the vendor or find a seating place. And same thing with drinks. I found out grabbing a starbucks or soda and walking around drinking while eye-shopping is an American convention. Nobody does that here, so it looks kinda funny if you do that here in this country lol I guess it is rude to show people you’re eating in public? But it’s just wild learning all the preconceived notion I had are just learned behaviors, and discovering all those small differences while living in another country. Makes you realize how small-minded you were, and grow to be much more tolerable and accepting of differing views.
You usually don’t tip at a fast food restaurant like McDonalds. But you do at more of the moderately priced restaurants as well as at fine dining establishments.
You tip the wait staff. If there's no wait staff (like at a fast food restaurant), there's no need to tip. And it's acceptable to tip less if you're at a buffet where you're serving yourself (though it's considered rude not to leave anything for those who bring your drink order and/or remove dirty plates).
Aside from asking for condiments, another thing that's usually OK to do in America is to ask for things to be made special-order. You can ask them to tell you what the ingredients are (if they know), ask for it to be made without onions, hold the lettuce (even in fast food), whatever it is you cannot or don't want to eat. It's not always possible from them to do it (sometimes for example it's a pre-made food) but then they will tell you that as soon as they find out, and usually not be offended by the request itself. Often they are genuinely sorry they can't accommodate what you want and try to help you find an alternative. You do get a few who get cranky about it... but that's their problem, not yours, as long as you are being polite and nice about how you request it. You may have to pay extra on occasion, but I haven't actually run into that often (I'm extremely picky at restaurants but also try to be respectful to the wait staff). And also say please like you mean it and thank them if they help you. They have a seriously tough and terribly underpaid job here, more so than in other countries, and they appreciate being appreciated. I really enjoyed watching this!
I’m a teacher in the US and you won me over with that comment. 🥰 I get tips all the time from my “kids.” Every picture, letter, and gift means so much. I work in a very poor area and had a young boy ask me my favorite color. The next day, he had made me a necklace from a charm he found in the garage. I think I will have to wear this necklace all year as he notices when I wear it and when I don’t. Baby lost his mom last summer. I made a promise to her at the service that I would take care of him.
Teachers deserve way more respect and pay, they are so crucial for the future of a society to function.
I'm from Michigan (Northern Midwest) and most everyone I know removes their shoes upon entering someone's home. This might be do to the fact that we have snow from October to March/April and it would be really messy with snow and slush from winter boots worn in the house (ruining the hard wood floors or carpet). That statement is definitely subjective and more likely determined state by state, regionally, and of course by personal preference. In addition, regarding tipping, I would say the normal range would be 20% - 25% for standard service and if the service was excellent 25% - 30%.
I am from Michigan too and I agree with this 100%
I'm from Florida and most Floridians take our shoes off because of all the sand (but we can get away with flip flops and sandals 99% of the time).
Sand will destroy carpets and wood floors alike (especially wood floors)!
CALIFORNIA it's 18-20%. I'd only tip 30% if I was in a cheap restaurant and received great service.
Here in Texas, for most households, we tend to only remove the shoes inside if the weather outside calls for it (the rare snowstorm or, more commonly, mud due to rain). We tend to have to deal with hot weather (and the resulting stinky feet) much more often than conditions that would track mud or snow inside.
At the times that I lived in Oregon, Maine, South Dakota everyone took their shoes off going into a home. 🤷♀️
To add to the "this is a huge country," in the South, the use of ma'am and sir is customary. It has nothing to do with age or status. For instance, if I'm shopping and the clerk is clearly much younger than me, when they ask if I need assistance, I answer with yes or no ma'am or sir. Also in the South, we do use first names, but will put Mr. or Ms. before the name. For instance, if I am addressing the parent of a friend, I will call them "Ms. Marilyn" instead of "Mrs. Williams," or if it's a shop employee wearing a name tag, I'll address them as "Mr. Kenny," or "Ms. Joan." It's a sign of respect regardless of age.
Yes!! And even though I don't make my children do "Yes ma'am/no ma'am" to me, they have to do it to other adults because it's the cultural norm here (I'm from South Carolina).
My dad was big on making me say "yes/no sir/ma'am" and used to joke and how I'd always say it...usually through gritted teeth. 🤣 So for me, it became more about HOW my kids answered me, rather than if they remembered to say ma'am.
That said, I don't buck against anyone that has their kids do that. And no children (except my stepdaughters) call me by my first name. I'm either Mrs. Bond, Miss Carol, or maybe Aunt Carol to really close friends' kids. Even today I can't call on older person by their first name alone without hearing my dad's voice and seeing "that look". 🤣 (He died in 2012, sooo...)
AND to add to that, in the north, using sir or ma'am can come off as sarcastic. You have to really be careful to sound genuine or you'll tick people off who think you're being a smart aleck. Of course, if you have a southern accent, everyone will understand.
I'm an American and I remember in elementary school we had lessons on a personal bubbles and how to respect them
Lots of us eat meals on our sofas or armchairs in front of the TV, especially if we're alone or hanging out with family or close friends
I never new there were cultures that frowned upon opening gifts immediately. Part of the joy of giving is to see the person's reaction. I was so upset when I discovered presents aren't opened at weddings. Lol.
My relatives made us open all our presents in front of them a couple days ahead.
Well, if your shoes are dirty, that's something else. Sometimes you have to pay attention and decide when it might be appropriate to remove your shoes. I have had a lot of people just ask me to take the shoes off. When I was doing on-site, in-home work, I used shoe covers.
One thing you have to remember is that the different parts of the country do things differently. I live in the South and we are very big huggers!
We enjoy meeting new people! So, when you leave you’ll probably be hugged!!😀
Huggers and chatters!! If you're at our house, we'll ask, are you hungry and regardless of your answer, we'll feed you. And, I'm especially bad about saying "honey & sweetie", it's an endearment and meant to make a visitor feel like family. It's NOT a come on!
@@robinaddis-vaughn7271 I think it is part of our charm in the South. We genuinely want everyone to be comfortable, especially when they visit our homes. We have a way of putting people at such ease that we can and will get your whole life story out of you in one afternoon. No guile or deceit -- we truly want to know you better! And doesnt it take us FOREVER to say goodbye when its time to go??? LOL
@@lhuntley4577 Oh, honey it takes longer to say "bye, don't be a stranger" than it did to say "hey there!" And, you're right, it's just who we are at the core. At, least most of us, with the influx of our winter neighbors deciding to stay on forever, I see some changes, but true southerners will always be southern. I make good use out of my accent with customer service agents, they usually are butter in my hands after a few pleasantries and an off color joke, they go above and beyond to help me. I just treat them like friends and most of the time it works.
You take care, awright?
I said in my comment that Southerners will commonly hug you the first time they meet you if you’re a friend of a friend or relative. Like I met my cousin’s cousin and immediately great big hug. Actually even if we don’t hug you to start we probably will when you get ready to leave after we talked your ear off. 😂
I do think Americans overall do more touching as part of greeting than in many other countries, whether it's handshakes or hugs. Our social greetings, even of new people, generally involve some sort of touch, not just nodding. (Of course, I'm not referring to the friendly chitchat that occurs with strangers or people in passing.)
The shoe thing: Make sure you wipe your shoes properly on the mat at the door! (Most US homes have a mat at the door just inside for this purpose!). And I cannot walk without my shoes on! My in-laws have a no shoes inside policy but I’m given an exception because my shoes help me walk! I have some health problems that have left some lasting physical complications!
I think it’s fine for family or friends to take their shoes off when coming over- but if I’m having a coworker over or doing something a little more formal I would rather people keep their shoes on- just not on the furniture
Opening gifts: If the gift is for a holiday, some people do prefer that the gift be opened on the actual day rather than right away. So it's best to just ask. "Should I open this now, or wait?" Or if you would prefer to wait (maybe also because you don't want to have to feign excitement if you hate the gift), you can always say "I'll save this so I can open it on the day".
This is one that surprised me, when I first learned that in other places, it's actually considered rude to open the gift right away. I've even read that gifts brought to birthday parties for children are not opened at the party, but saved and opened after all the guests have gone home! THAT seemed very weird to me. But when I thought about it, it made sense. Think of all the hurt feelings caused by a child not liking a gift, or someone's gift being better than someone else's. All that made totally moot by simply having the child open the presents in private later, and then send polite thank-yous individually rather than letting the entire group see their immediate reactions to everything. That makes so much MORE sense to me now that I've thought about it that I wish I'd thought of it when I was raising my own kids!
Then you have bridal/baby showers where all the guests are generally expected to stay for the opening of all the gifts (which can take hours!)...
I was a former server and I didn't want my wages raised and getting no tips. I made more most of the time off of tips than I would have hourly. Depends on the restaurant though I suppose.
I think going from minimum wage to wage+tips should depend on the sales volume of the restaurant. That way, servers who work in restaurants where the $ per person is lower are moving toward a living wage.
I have bartended for 40 years and you are absolutely correct! I might as well go work at a store if ur just gonna pay me hourly ! you'll never make the same money hourly that they're making tips! my tips were way more than most hourly wages!
You're not the first to say this. We always hear people say "raise their wages!", but a lot of servers are like "Mmmmm...how about no." lol
From someone raised in the restaurant business, courteous, efficient service IS the expectation.And until the government changes the hourly wage for servers, so is the tip!.
I worked as a poker dealer and a coffee barista. Totally preferred my tips at that time. I think what really most service workers really want isnt wage increases but paid vacations and health benefits
Servers in the U.S. usually make about $2.63/hour and are taxed based on their sales. So if you don’t tip, they are basically paying for your meal whenever they file their taxes each year.
No! No! No! DO NOT open gifts immediately. If it is handed to you, admire the wrapping, make a statement like "You shouldn't have!" or something to show your surprise & appreciation. Then ASK if you should open it now. Otherwise, it does seem greedy.
Never just walk in someone's home with barefoot unless you are swimming in a pool at their home. This is especially true for men. From my experience, women are more often allowed to walk in person's home with bare feet. I know people who would rather men wear their clean shores inside than have their dirty feet on the carpet and hard floors.
After watching tons of videos about American tipping and how it pisses Europeans off, I must say that I will never understand why foreigners cannot grasp the tipping concept and the reasons why it is common in the US. Tipping is 15 to 20 percent at sit down restaurants with waitstaff.
Tipping gives the customer the power on how much he or she wants to spend. Moreover, it keeps the prices of the meals lower. Meals in normal restaurants are much lower in the US than in Europe.
We believe that tipping ensures better, polite service. I have been to Europe and the service was very cold and horrible in most cases. In addition, tipping allows me to know that my tip will go to my waiter/waitress and not the owner.
Finally, we get larger meals for that cheaper price I mentioned above. Since the owner doesn't need to pay higher wages, he or she can give American more food than in other nations. Americans are very demanding when it come to food. We do not like to feel like we are getting ripped off by anyone, especially in restaurants. A hamburger and a beer -- in most cases-- should never cost more than $15 to $20 before tip. I once saw a video by a travel blogger saying a burger and beer in Norway costs $50 USD. Those excessive prices would cause a riot in the US.
Personal bubble needed more explanation too…it’s a real thing…you shouldn’t sit directly next to someone on public transportation unless it’s super packed and never use the bathroom stall next to someone else unless it’s busy too…personal space is important here…people get snippy! Hardly anyone takes off their shoes here but hardly anyone has carpet anymore unless it’s a bedroom or something…that’s likely why most Americans prefer wood or tile floors.
My brother is the master at tipping. He puts it out on the table as soon as we get seated. It diminishes or grows compared to the service. So keep the coffee hot.
Salt and Pepper for sure but the rest is hit or miss especially at fancy restaurants. The prices are lower for food so it leaves you room to tip. People who get tips do not get a living wage.
A lot of restaurants will serve food with less salt for customers that require low salt diets. Most restaurants will put salt and pepper shakers on all of the tables but you may have to ask for ketchup, steak sauce, or sweeteners. As for taking off shoes--a lot of homes have a "Door Mat" (or "Welcome Mat") for wiping anything that may be on the shoes.
Whether tipping is right or wrong, It's actually not expensive because everything is cheaper in the U.S. to begin with (money just goes farther in the U.S.)
Re: tipping the “prompt service” applies more to when you’re out drinking and trying to order drinks. In a busy crowded bar, the bartender will often prioritize taking the orders of patrons he’s already seen tip him/her (like leaving a dollar or two each time you go up to order a drink). If you’re gonna be earning more tips focusing on certain people, you will. When it comes to restaurant waitstaff, it only really applies if you go there often enough for them to remember you from past visits. Same thing with pizza delivery drivers if you order pizza or takeout often.
It works, too. We used to tip $5-$10 when we would order pizza from a pizza place where we lived at the time. We were told, at one point, that the delivery drivers competed to see who would deliver our pizza and ours was always delivered first, piping hot. The drivers were all super friendly and were very grateful for the tips. It was always nice to see the huge smile when a new driver would show up. It was a way for us to not only get our pizza a little faster, but also to make someone's evening. Now we live right across the street from a pizza place, so we don't do delivery anymore. Kind of a bummer.
@@ThisAlphaWolf yes, pretty sure the pizza guys and Chinese food guys vie to come to my house.. as long as I don't have to cook, I'll tip well
@@SuperDrLisa Same. I like to cook but when I want a night off, it's always nice to have food delivered fresh and hot. Plus a good tip seems to make their night a little better, so why not?
I think with the formalities it depends on age, region of the country and office culture. Some places I worked I called boss by first name some I didn’t. In the South, it might be considered rude/offensive to call a much older person simply by their first name. If you don’t call them Mr. Ms and last name then you would call them that and their first name. But when I lived on the West Coast, it wasn’t offensive. In the South also commonly say sir and ma’am. If not, you are considered not to have manners. Southerners tend to hug you the first time they meet you in the South if you are a friend of a friend or relative. And they usually want to feed you. Go ahead and eat even of you aren’t hungry because they are going to keep asking you otherwise. Also be prepared for some light teasing 😂
The rule in our house used to be take your shoes off at the door....how long did that last about a week before someone wore shoes inside than it never went back because no matter how hard we tried it was impossible to get my siblings and nephew's to take their shoes off at the door
There are so many different customs, in so many different areas of the United States. The mannerisms and attitudes of the people are also very different from each other. When I lived in the south, people are very much huggers, up north, not so much. Even daily pace is so different, some areas it is very quick paced, and other areas much more laid back.
1:10 we don't use the term queue, but I think we very much do so. We call it forming a line , getting in line, waiting in line. When I was teaching, it was always like "Okay, I need two straight lines and then we'll head to gym class" or things to that effect.
Yes. Calling it the “queue” will probably result in confused looks.
And while of course we line up, perhaps the difference is we tend not to unless or until there’s an immediate reason to.
I don't really mind tipping! A lot of Americans don't really go out to eat to a "sit down" restaurant that often. Many actually prefer to cook at home. However, yes! It can add up the more you go out.
I go to sit down restaurants more than fast food ones. I think it has to do with the kinds of foods that people in my part of the country traditionally eat aren’t served at fast food restaurants. Either you cook or you go to a sit down. Sit down doesn’t necessarily mean expensive where I am because many are mom and pop.
Kabir thanks you for the reaction. It was good for the people to come over here.
When I visit Canada, I find that it is "the norm" to remove shoes as in UK. It is so odd for me because as an American (maybe I'm the only one? ) I feel like these people are asking for part of my "attire", that by taking off my shoes I am less "dressed" than when I began and I likely do not know whomever enough for that to be an acceptable feeling. From the other direction, as the host, I'm thinking "I don't know you and you have your "exposed" feet, or exposed sweaty sock, mushing your foot sweat, into my carpet....." -Not a happy image lol. If I have invited you to dinner, do I really want to smell foot smells?? Or look at unattractive toe nails?? Lets be honest, there are some ugly feet out there, and I don't want to see them. If we BOTH keep our shoes on we maintain exactly the social closeness distance we had when we were outside of the house. Besides, when I chose my outfit, the shoes were factored in as part of the "look".
When you enter an Asian home and are asked to remove your shoes, there are guest slippers provided. I would assume the same for anywhere else shoes are asked to be removed.
@@adrasteia3866 I've never been inside an Asian home. Unfortunately, none of the other homes I've visited that participate in the no-shoes system has slippers. And do all guests share the same slippers or are they disposable/one use slippers?
@@adrasteia3866 I don't want to wear footwear that 50 other people have already worn. That's kinda nasty.
I also think we Americans probably tend to have a lot more shoes. I know I have at least 20 and I downsized recently. I have shoe racks in my closet. Would suck to have to keep all those shoes by the door. I remove my shoes in my bedroom unless I’ve been in the mud which is unusual for me.
@@anndeecosita3586 heck my American self has 2 pairs of shoes. A pair of heels and a pair of tennis shoes I wear every day. I never understood why people need so many shoes.
The assertion that Australians and New Zealanders expect to sit in the front of a cab is just plain incorrect. We sit in the back too (especially women, since it is safer.)
Please consider that norms for different ethnic groups may be different from the general American norm. While there are touchy feely people in every culture, some cultures are more characterized by it. I would say African Americans are more touchy feely than Americans in general. But to be on the safe side, if you are visiting the US, let the US person guide your behavior as to what is acceptable or expected in that person's culture, state, region, town. Don't assume. especially when it comes to something such as touching and personal space. If the people you meet are huggers, they'll hug you first. Then it's okay to hug back.
you're 100% right that employers should make up the difference so people do not need tips in order to live. that's one of the reasons why there's a big employment shortage at a lot of restaurants right now. people are realizing that there are other jobs where you can work the same amount of time and actually live off the wage
One thing to remember is if you're in a more expensive restaurant they usually automatically add a 15% tip. Or even regular restaurants sometimes add automatically a tip for groups of 6 & up.
My mom has worked for Wal-Mart since 1988. She has met Sam Walton a dozen or so times before he passed away, and after only a couple of meetings he insisted she call him Sam, as he tended to do with all employees that worked at her store back then.
If you ask my mom, "Outside of family, who is the nicest person you've met?". Without hesitation she'll name Sam Walton.
I always find the “loud American” a strange thing for us. We are told from young ages to “speak up, speak clearly “ I always assumed because we have such a mix of cultures and people that it’s a way to make sure you are understood correctly. I never realized it was odd until I went to other countries 🤷🏼♀️
We often see British people as surly because they mumble to us.
The shoes are more of a “be respectful” type of thing. Ask first if it’s ok to keep or take off your shoes, make sure your shoes are clean enough on the bottoms if your keep them on, if you do take off your shoes, make sure your feet don’t smell more like laundry soap then cheese. In my house, we replaced the carpet on the main for floor with hardwood and tile so that issue never comes up.
Plus, just take a second to notice if your host is wearing shoes and if there are shoes next to the door. Also, shoes should be clean enough if you are visiting someone's home, generally speaking.
I come from a country where everyone takes their shoes off but their feet can be nastier. I'd rather keep my shoes on if I can, you never know if there's a random shard of glass waiting for your precious toes.
If they're a shoe-free house there will be a shoe rack or a collection of shoes at the door already as a visual indicator. In homes where the shoes are worn inside they tend to be left in the bedrooms.
For the thing about the shoes, remember we drive everywhere and have sidewalks so our shoes are really clean. And a lot of people have garages so they can go from home to work and back without even going outside. Especially in our climate where it’s not rainy or snowy. If there’s mud or snow, yea take them off. But usually there’s nothing on our shoes to ruin the floor. I actually find people taking off their shoes in my house rude because to me that’s too intimate. I have to know you well in order for you to take off your shoes. If work colleagues are having a dinner party at someone’s house for example, we are all still wearing our dress shoes inside.
I also have 4 cats so they’re the ones messing up the floor. Nothing worse than ruining your sock when you step in cat puke! Lol! I also can’t stand when I step in water that’s spilled on the floor while I’m washing dishes so I wear shoes there too sometimes.
The gift thing! I'm an American, married to a Brit for 24yrs. Have felt like the most ill-mannered lout for years, since a friend of my in-laws gave my toddler a gift. My reaction was to immediately help her start opening it, so she could see it, react and thank him for the adorable bear. My in-laws immediately, and seemingly instinctively (before we could get it open) asked my daughter "What do you say?", as if we'd forgotten our manners (or I'd never taught them to her). The thank you was definitely coming, but I think for Americans, it's a genuine reaction to the gift they've chosen for us. For Brits, it seems like a genuine reaction to the fact that they gave me a gift, regardless of what it is... Both good ideas, just different.
3:35- your typical diner/restaurant waitstaff makes ~2.75/hr before those tips, that's how our restaurant prices if you get it to go are so cheap comparatively. And not tipping isn't even the worst, leaving one penny for horrible service is the biggest insult. Source: have been on both sides of that example over the years.
In Minnesota, people generally take their shoes off at someone’s home. This took some getting used to. I grew up in Utah and Arizona and I didn’t know any family that had you take your shoes off in their home except one and it seemed rude at the time for them to ask you to remove your shoes. Now I realize they were probably from a part of the country where that is the norm.
I can attest it is not real common in Utah. If someone just came into my house and took their shoes off without asking, I'd feel super awkward about it.
Queuing in the Northeastern U.S. is called "Standing On Line." For the rest of the country it's " Getting In Line."
Regarding being load...some of that is do to the large open outdoor spaces that Americans grow up in. Example My granddad taught me to project my voice so that he could hear me call him at the other side of his 2acre property he lived on. So now when I need to be heard over a crowd or from a distance I can be
Random fact. Hawaii has many cultural differences compared to the rest of the USA due to its history. In Hawaii you should NEVER enter someone's home with shoes on
Is that more of a native Hawaiian thing, or is it due to the Japanese (and other Asian) influences there?
That's a very Asian custom. I always remove my shoes when entering the houses of my Asian friends, especially if I see a shoe rack of some kind by the door. If in doubt, I ask!
Hawaii has a strong Japanese influence due to the plantation days if I remember my school history correctly
@@TruthTroubadour-xi9cc You might want to edit your post. Seems you typed thing instead of friend or something.
@@O2life danged auto correct is always changing my words! Thank you!
I’m really glad they brought up the cleaning up after yourself at a fast food restaurant. I work fast food and it drives me crazy when people leave their trash. Some places will ban you if you leave a huge mess.
The "small talk" thing is regional. Maybe it's much more prevalent in areas like the Southern U.S., but seems to be scarcer in areas like the West Coast where I live: people here just want to go about their day with minimal delays.
The more crowded an area is, the less sociable with strangers people tend to get. You'd never get anything done, otherwise.
As an older American I have to say that the tipping culture has changed in recent years .. before it was acceptable that if your service was sub standard you could not tip .. as an insult if the server was rude as well you would leave a penny .. now days it is demanded of you inspite of service and that to me defeats the whole purpose of what a tip was and should be for.. also tips were generally for food servers and bartenders or waitresses/waiters in bars .. and depending on your travels stays .. baggage handlers at hotels on ships and trains or doormen flagging you a taxi ... nowadays it is for anyone providing a service even fast food places will have a cup at the pay window .. personally for me a tip is for service provided not to inspire better service and places that ring up a tip automatically do not get me as a patron .. lastly many places have to pool their tips and divide them at the end of a shift .. which means Bill who slacked off all day and was rude gets the same amount as Harry who worked his ass off which I dont consider fair ..
As an American, I feel super uncomfortable if I visit a home that makes me take off my shoes. Especially if I’m not close with the people.
And I'd be embarrassed for anyone who just walked in my house and took their shoes off without asking. It's weird to do that in another person's house! Just ask.
Really? I guess it just really depends where you are in the US. I'm an american and I, as well as most americans I know, remove my shoes in my own home and ask that visitors do the same. It's just more likely than not that when you go to someone's house around here, you'll take your shoes off in the entryway, so I expect it. If I'm not asked to take them off, I always ask if I should.
My common response to "How are you doing today?" usually gets odd looks!! I usually reply with "Well I'm not dead so I must be doing alright! You?" or "Well I woke up so it's a good day!!" I'm a bit strange!
When people say, just pay them more, where do you think the "more" would come from? Prices go up, you're going to pay for it anyway. I would rather pay the server directly.
There was one restaurant my girlfriend and I would frequent. We tipped good and we got an excellent table and service every time!
It's fine to expect a job to be done "to standard", but people are people. It's completley natural to do a little extra if you think you might get compensated extra.
I Love Your Channel!! Great Job!!
Thanks brother :)
When it comes to tipping. I just move the decimal one place to the left then double it. So, 23.00 = 2.30 * 2 = $4.60 tip! that's 20%. Hopefully, that helps when you get to visit the states. I always tip 20% unless they were outright rude.. b/c they could just really be having a bad day you never know. Plus, I know they don't make good wages, so maybe the tip will make their day a little better. The shoes in the house thing. I'd only care if I had lots of carpet in my house, but since my house is hardwood/ tile it's super easy to clean.
I learned something new today. Thanks Kabir.
Tipping really isn't that big of a deal as it sounds. I tip when I eat out, but not everywhere I get food. If you live here, then you tend to avoid the services that require tipping. It's not really an everyday occurrence, but more of a "going out" thing...I'm self employed (container design ie I go to people's home and make their flower pots pretty), and provide a service, but I have never been tipped.
We get loud when we are joyful, having fun. When we see others being loud, we are happy to see them happy.
Can you react "Visit Chicago - The DON'Ts of Visiting Chicago" by Wolters World? Chicago is the largest city in the US Midwest, and different from cities in the South and in Texas.
The no shoes thing varies greatly. I do think more and more people have a no shoes in house policy than in the past, especially among younger people with small children that crawl around and play on the floor. We have the no shoes thing but only more recently. When people come over to our house, they will usually see that we aren’t wearing our shoes and have a spot for them by the front door. They most often ask if we want them to take their shoes off. We say whatever they want to do is fine with us. They usually take that as a cue to remove their shoes.
Servers make more most of the time with tips than they would if they would paid the standard minimum wage. My son delivers pizza and sometimes he makes an extra $150 a night over his basic pay. You don't have to tip that many people, hairdresser delivery drivers, sometimes mechanics or people who takyour groceries to your car(rare). I think there a few others in bigger cities. And of of course you don't have to tip at all.
We have doormats that we expect you to wipe your shoes on if muddy or wet. We don't want to be smelling stinky feet, and with the temps we have here that can be a big problem.
Removing shoes when you walk into a house is for someone who lives there or who will be staying the night. If you're just visiting, you leave your shoes on.
Foot odor is (and having to deal with it) is kind of an intimate thing.
A lot of these are the same in Canada. As for the shoes in houses it depends on the people. My extended family and most of my friends, we take our shoes off unless they tell us otherwise. When I used to babysit I'd take my shoes off too. If it was someone whose home I hadn't been to before I just ask or they'll tell me if I leave them on.
As for the boss part that depends on the job and your boss, at least in my experience. I did call some bosses by their first names but if their boss came in I would say Mr/Miss/Mrs accordingly. I worked in healthcare and I could never refer to a doctor by their first name except for one because her last name was so difficult to pronounce it was easier to call her by her first name.
I don't know about a lot of his comments. Mine was a touchy feely kind of family. Hugs and slaps on the back. Lots of laughter. Many homes require shoes off at the door. I see no problem with that. I have tile floors and dogs and cats. I garden a lot so I'd recommend anyone keep their shoes on in my house until I clean! LOL
Somewhere along the way, I missed the memo on tipping hotel/motel staff. Geez they deserve it but like you said, they work for huge corporations that should pay them more. I don't travel much like I did so there that is. Also new minimum wage should be taking effect at $15.00/hr. Great reaction.
As a teacher, thank you Kabir for recognizing our hard work! ❤
You're very welcome Stepfannie ❤️
"Tipping culture" is a con, run by businesses at the expense of workers and customers. Essentially, they charge customers for the service (haircut, taxi ride, restaurant meal, bar-served cocktail, etc) and pressure the customer to pay the service provider's wage, as well.
I try to tip generously when I utilize such services. It's a bit of an internal conflict. On the one hand, I despise the system and feel that playing into it only encourages an obscene injustice. On the other hand, I can't look an honest, hard working person in the face, and cheat them of their right to provide for themselves.
Think about tipping this way: if the person giving you service has a narrowly defined set of duties, they will not be expecting a tip. However, if their duties are more broadly defined, thus giving them the option of providing extra services, you should tip them on how they did.
So, the cashier at the grocery store is paid to ring up your purchases, bag them, and take payment. There's not a lot of room for extra services so that person is not tipped. While a waiter is paid to take your order, bring your food, and collect your payment, checking on you and refilling your drinks is something she can throw in, doing a good job or doing it badly.
My barber is paid to cut my hair but she often throws in extras like trimming my eyebrows and shaving my edges with a straight razor. So she gets tipped.
The cueing part is absolutely not true. If you skip the line you're going to be slapped.
We just don't form lines for as many situations as Brits do in the first place. They have a reputation for being somewhat excessive about it.
Im from the Midwest, and Around here it’s definitely rude to walk into somebody’s house with your shoes on (at least without asking first). Sometimes Id say we make special exceptions for people who are elderly and can’t take their shoes off easily. Most people that I know have some sort of dedicated or makeshift mudroom area. I suppose for here, it has a lot to do with the snow days.
Sauces and spices aren't always on the table and the wait staff don't make living wage like most people and need the tips.
For the most part, tipping really isn't supposed to insure good service, most wait staff will give you good service regardless, it's mostly because waiters in the US aren't paid as much as their European counterparts. The tradeoff there is that food is typically quite a bit cheaper in the US than it is in Europe, even when eating out at restaurants. So don't expect it to be super expensive. We're so used to it we always consider how much the tip will add when we order our food at the very beginning.
Also, as for the shoes thing, I was always raised to take my shoes off when I enter a house, and I still think it's weird if I see people with their shoes on indoors. I don't even tie my shoes anymore, because it's easier just to keep them tied and slip them on and off whenever I leave or get home.
I’m American and the hugging & kissing friends & family and on occasion neighbors was a norm I grew up with in NYC. The first time I bought my husband back to my neighborhood he was not expecting it. I had moved away, so it had been a few yrs since I’d been back and it seemed like I was kissing & hugging everyone I met. Even the lady behind the counter at the bakery came out and gave me a big hug & kiss… then called back to her husband to come say hi😂😂😂 Hubby got kisses & hugged by so many people he didn’t know and rolled with it. 30 yrs later he’s only recently figured out some of my aunts uncles & cousins are not actually blood relatives
Yes! This is also a thing in much of the southern states. Maybe it's part of the cultures we all came from? I know my Italian family was very touchy-feely. But in the south, it's quite common to hear someone want to "hug your neck." Now, this isn't necessarily true for strangers, mind you, but like at my church, you get a handshake the first time you are greeted, but second time it's likely to be a hug.
I even get tips as a front desk agent lol, it's nice because it keeps me motivated to do everything outside of my job description in these troubling times..
I feel like in most of the US we just expect people to have decently clean shoes when they're out and about. I dunno if thats true everywhere, the shoe rules vary from region to region.
I live in the north of U.S. (Ohio) It is customary to ask if we should take our shoes off when we are a guest. Most feel it is rude to require a guest to take their shoes off. So, if the weather is dry, most hosts will say to leave them on. If the weather is snowy or rainy, many people won't ask. They'll just take their shoes off.
Most homes have a pile of shoes by the garage door.
Tipping is the business owner's way of passing the employee's wage cost onto the consumer. This is unique to the USA, where it's legal to pay your employees far less than the value of their labor. The tipping system is in place to force the consumer to pay a significant portion of the worker's pay.
Unless you're talking about the rare company that subsists on government grants or donations, consumers always pay for ALL of a businesses costs (not just wages). Sales, fees, and gratuities are how businesses pay for everything. When you buy a product from a private business, you are paying a portion of their electric bill, heating bill, rent, wages, insurance, equipment, and inventory. The tipping arrangement in US restaurants simply changes HOW consumers pay those costs. Rather than having them built into the price of the items on the menu, the costs are divided between fixed prices on the menu and gratuities on top. I'm not personally a fan of the system as a consumer, but those in the restaurant business prefer it because they have the potential to earn more money and pay less in taxes. It's also untrue that the US is the only economy where similar types of arrangements exist: most countries have commission-based jobs where only a small part of a person's compensation is paid in the form of a salary. Some people simply prefer to bet on themselves and trade some security for the potential of higher earnings.
Without tipping, you'd *still* be paying the workers wage cost; because, the price of the meal would simply be increased to cover it.
@@randlebrowne2048 this is a false narrative since you are assuming the cost of the meal can go up continuously without losing business. When the ration of exec to worker pay has gone from 25:1 to 500+:1, it's clear the lost value of labor doesn't have a direct relationship to the product.
@@lougiacobbi725 Do you *seriously* mean to suggest that *CEO* wages are comparable to those of *restaurant* staff?
A restaurant, in almost all cases, runs on razor-thin profit margins.
Actual profit, after expenses like rent, utilities, food and wages, is most often measured in *cents* rather than dollars.
There is simply no way to substantially increase wages, in the way you suggest, without increasing prices.
Restaurant chain executives are generally in the *real-estate* and *marketing* business, more than the food industry.
They make *their* money by selling franchise rights to small business owners; not directly selling food to customers.
That makes a huge difference when discussing potential pay scales.
@@randlebrowne2048 you are correct. Also, many restaurants are family owned and the CEO is the owner/manager/chef/and head janitor. In order to be profitable a restaurant must run under 30% food cost. Don't forget, taxes, insurance, permits, licenses, gas, water, electricity. There is always a cooler going out, a pluming issue, or the a/c won't work so you have a contract with a repair person to keep these things running. Restaurants are very expensive to run.
O.K., after reading many comments, I do have something to add. I live in Canada, which means that we get all sorts of weather, but I have travelled extensively. Not only do I have relatives all over the U.S., as well as have travelled all over the U.S., I've also lived in a few states for lengthy periods of time. My comment: I consider it to be out of respect that someone removes their shoes upon entering a home! Most shoes have treads where all kinds of who knows what can get embedded and a shoe scraper at the door isn't going to get into the groves of those treads. How does that home owner know that you didn't walk through dog chit, or vomit (fresh or old), or who knows what else may be hiding on those city sidewalks, or, . . . . wherever your shoes may have carried you. Who can guarantee that everyone cleans up the same as you, or does a good job when they do. {I'm referring to a restaurant or a store where something was spilled and then 'cleaned'} It's like the bottom of a purse/handbag or back-pack? Those items get placed and dropped down by your side everywhere! Just like shoes, they probably carry the most germs and who knows what else! Just think about what happens on those city sidewalks, store, restaurant, lounge, bar, hotel lobby, stadium and arena floors! Really ?! Think about it!
If I'm a home owner & I think that you have smelly feet, or are a 'not-so-clean' person, I'm not inviting you into my home! If you know that you have terrible smelly feet, do something about it! Bring an extra pair of light shoes or slippers, flip-flops or slip-ons with you (out of respect for others) to slip on when you remove your outdoor shoes. Keep them tucked away in your car, purse or back-pack. Put a light dusting of baking soda in your shoes to combat the sweat and odour. Never have I heard that removing your shoes upon entry means that you are "making yourself at home"!! Or plan to stay a while! It "Only" means that I am respecting your home and your surroundings!
Comments about the Japanese and their Getas. Yes, they are washed and sterilized after each use. Also, with todays technology, they can be made with materials that are cheap enough to throw away after each use.
And I haven't even watched this video yet! lol I'm about to now.
The cost of living. Well, that depends on where you travel. Don't just look at the U.S., look at all of North America. All along the west coast, in your major populated areas like what is referred to as the Silicon Valley mostly in California, we in Canada also have what could be referred as the same thing in regards to Vancouver and the surrounding areas of both. Prices are going to be higher in your major metropolises, like Los Angeles, Vancouver, Calgary, New York, Toronto, Minneapolis, Miami, etc. They have a higher population and of course, out of the greed of today's society, businesses want to cater to the majority of people, but really, they want to cater mainly to the higher paid. Thinking that they'll not only be willing to spend more, but in the end, it means more profit.
Anything you purchase in these areas are going to be cheaper in less major cities. Even if it is the same store! A pair of shoes that cost you $100 in Vancouver Canada, will probably cost you $80 in Edmonton, Regina, Winnipeg, etc. That is the same as in the U.S. The cost of living is different in each metropolis. Basically, the further away you move from the centre of a major city, the cheaper it gets.