My girlfriend’s parents need to hear this message. Her family has been very controlling & she turns 28 tomorrow. It’s sad. My girlfriend cares too much about what her parents think of her because ultimately manipulated her into thinking this way. I believe she can get out of this mindset. It just takes a little bit of encouraging & will power to change your mindset.
Im in the same boat but i’m 22 and the guy im seeing knows how problematic my mom is , calling me incessantly wanting to know my location, judging whatever i do, slutshaming me for being intimate w this guy. Its not even about keeping me safe, its control. Now i’m being treated like a sack of shit and i still live at home. I’m still a university student so its even harder to be able to leave.
I have a very controlling and emotionally immature mom, and I simply refuse to be that way towards my little daughter. I pray the wisdom in this sermon stays at the forefront of my heart and mind as my daughter grows up!
Oh my gosh!! I relate to you so much.. I have been struggling with it so much. Like she won't let me see anyone she don't have a good relationship with because they're "bad"
My mother actually chastized me and tried to guilt trip me for volunteering at a homeless shelter on Christmas. Well into my 50’s at the time. Our kids are grown and my husband was working. Believe them when they show who they are.
That’s incredible! But not shocking after what I witnessed this year in my own family. Two sisters best friends 60+ years, the older sister (my mother) wrote my aunt out of my gparents will. They will show themselves.
A lot of people should hear this. It effects/affects their future and their kid's future. Me lastly, this is a huge ding. "You can't even move up to caffeine" "i want to give you freedom, but not freedom that will destroy you". Well said.
Finally a Christian voice of reason on this topic, had to make the decision to leave half my family without contact 9 years ago. It was the best decision I ever made, but I had to leave most of our shared acquaintances too bc it was an unpopular decision at the time. Thank you for doing these videos and leading people out of the darkness in their own families.
I was that kid. But not because I was over parented, quite the opposite. I was neglected and abused. Wasn't until I woke up to Jesus, at 41, that I found out my personality. Which is in Christ.
The marriage covenant begins by leaving your parents. This includes emotionally. Children with father/mother wounds can end up like the woman at the well, using partners to get their unmet childhood needs met, and ruining the relationship. 'Even a good person makes a bad Jesus' - Mark Driscoll
Pardon me. Sir, and I have all the respect in the world for you and am sooo grateful for your teachings. But, I must correct a wrong thinking on the part of the lady at the well. She was married and divorced 5 times because she was barren. It was legal for men to divorce if the wife could not bear children. She must have been beautiful and intelligent for men to "line up" to marry her. She did not ruin her marriages. This is not taught because we dont know the Jewish customs and laws and way of life they lived back then, in ancient times. Thank you Sir, again. You help me so very much with your wisdom. I just felt the need to stand up for this lady who has gotten such a bad rap. 💛
@@ketubah857 HalleluYah! You have discernment...the legal terms are not made clear, and without this critical understanding of the ANE, many will continuously lean on their own understanding and misrepresent the true meaning of Yahuah's Word...this is how the adversary works his cunningness....
The story about the thirty something year old son is absolutely sad. His mother probably had NPD and conditioned him to be that way and he didn't even realize it. Now he probably have codependency. It is a horrible, viscious, and devastating pattern that the enemy have been passing through family for years. But JESUS IS BREAKING THAT IN THIS SEASON IN THE MIGHTY AND MATCHLESS NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. AMEN. ❤❤❤
Eye opener. I love my kid so much and raised him out of fear and tried my best to protect him from the evil of the world. 32 years old and for years Ive always been like, dont do this bc this could happen. I've spent so many years giving instructions up until his grown years that i havent even learned how to have an adult conversation with him. God forgive him. He still loves his mom so very much. God forgive me for over parenting and thank god in spite of, he has always been independent, but I always just wanted to take care of him. He will be married soon and I wish him well. We will look for a suit for him for his big day. Thank you God for allowing me another day to get it right
Its very sermon that hits home, thank you Pastor Mark. I'm a daughter of a very controlling mom with an absent dad and caused me to marry a person like her as well but the Lord is working in my marriage till this day its still a bit difficult. But God is good He will finish what he has started♥️
This really helped me cause I’m a college ( a sophomore) and my parents are arguing with me and mad I have a job. Also I have a few slipping grades but I’m learning to juggle it all. All my mother does is lecture me and when she asks to see my grades I told her I found a solution and that I would show her them when the solution was done but no she didn’t care. It’s gotten to the point where I am begging the Father to take me home, but I know I can’t. I pray that my parents give me grace like I given them and her me actually and understand me
@@susankovach8927 I understand that believe me I do, I have a 22 year old daughter but uuum that is not their decision to make. With family there's that control factor. There are those who want to be able to control things that are out of our hands. Everyone has their own individual paths. We can't control what isn't part of our own path.
Thank you pastor for this bold message. Most pastors stick with “you must obey your parents no matter what “ sermons. I’m going through a divorce largely because he never changed his priorities. I was about 7th on the totem pole. He cheated on me and his parents welcomed the mistress!! It gets worse. My mother who has tried to control me spent time with my husband behind my back. My mother feels she did nothing wrong and still wants to control. Unfortunately I’m going to have to get a restraining order against my mother.
I’m a survivor of emotional and psychological abuse and I have been feeling this way. How can I cope with feeling insecure about myself. God bless you and your family and be safe.
As far as feeling insecure, remember you are a precious child of God. He created you in His imagine. That makes you an extraordinary individual! The Lord sees you as nothing but beautiful. Don’t see yourself as your abusive family does. See yourself as God does. If you have any negative or toxic thoughts, that’s an attack from the enemy and they’re lies. Keep going back to how God sees you and loves you. This is a God who sacrificed His only Son to save us from our sins. That’s an amazing love!! I’m sure you know this, but keep reminding yourself of it every day. God bless you!
It’s worse when you have to temporarily live with them and you go through this and try to get help and nobody believes you especially with dealing with a mother, fathers there’s usually wayyy more resources but mothers they expect you to brush it under the rug and say oh that’s your mother and you their adult child has to mentally suffer to keep the peace so you want randomly end up homeless It’s hard at times
Thanks for a great sermon… I married a man who’s a mamas boy. He abandoned me and our 6 months old baby daughter and went to live with his controlling mother. I tried everything to have family but all my affords were useless 😢. I gave up and let him go. It’s 18 years after and he still lives with mom. The definition of mamas boy is- immature, irresponsible father, husband. Mature man- responsible for kids, wife and all family members . I learned the hard way 😢😢
i can understand you, because my dad is mama boy, they never mature & understand they need to leave there mother & bond with there wife as one. My grandma is a control freak sycopath, who abuse me & mothers. My mom gets mental abuse ,get shot 💉 just to forget sad thing. And i get mental abuse but serious .
Absolute best sermon I have ever heard especially on this topic and coming from a pastor. Pastor Mark has changed my life so much since I started listening to him about 6 months ago! I grew up in a “Christian home” and went to Christian schools. Let me tell you they where all anything but Christian, so my views where always very flawed! I have a mother like this, she’s very extreme and a covert narcissist, my dad unfortunately knows how wrong she is and how she acts but never ever says anything about the abuse she throws out to me and my sister, my dad actually shuts down and stops talking to me if I put up boundaries with my mom, it’s very painful. I’m 42 by the way and divorced, I’m in a great relationship now and hearing this sermon will help my relationship and my future relationships with my boys. Thank you so much pastor Mark you have truly helped me and helped restore my true Christian faith! Thank you! Bless you and your wonderful family!💛
Yeah, crying through several parts. But I thank the Lord that you are talking about things like this and bringing them out of the closet, so to speak. Even to those of us that know we have a problem, but try to stuff it and so not really deal with it, which prevents growth and maturity in Christ. Please continue just this way in your ministry. I so appreciate your openness and honesty. There’s not a lot of instruction like this available. Blessings to you, your family, and your church family.
We're going thru this with my mother now that my dad has died. She has always been very controlling and critical especially hard on me. I was the middle child and the only single parent raising 3 kids on my own. She often stayed with me and it created long bouts of sadness and depression for me. My family didn't believe me until mom went to live with my sister, now finally they believes me, very hard to navigate because she was abused by my dad so much, so hard to deal with...
Wow, My Dad was abusive to my Mother and kids. My mother is 91 and has always been controlling and manipulative. Now she is pitting her children against each other. You end up feeling like you are going made. I live with shame and guilt because she would leave me at 5 with my grand father. He was evil. She didn't want a 5 year old attached to her hip as she walked up town. Anyway, people will judge me, but I walked away from her, and there is no looking back. I know it sounds bad, but I may have a heart attack if I stay.
me and my siblings have been controlled our whole lives. it comes to a point to where we tense up or get quiet when our dad steps in the room and that’s NOT normal! as a kid i felt i couldn’t make my own choices .. like simple choices without feeling shamed or doubted. It’s crucial for a child to develop decision making skills and learn from mistakes or else they will move in fear and won’t know how to function without their parents approval.even now as a young adult my parents still want to control my decisions. it really hurts me bc i want to move to a different state mind you i have my money saved, I have my own car that i bought, I have a certificate for the industry i want to be in and the state i want to go to has more opportunities for me. Also i plan on having a source of income during the whole process. my dad said he would only support me if I move out the way he wants me to move and wait how long he wants me to wait..but i can’t bc i feel ready mentally, emotionally, spiritually and i already have a plan. as a young adult i feel my decision is not respected and I’m constantly drained from explaining myself. I also have been emotionally manipulated, verbally abused as a child, gaslighted and guilt tripped by both parents. it’s wayyyy more trauma that should be added but that would be too much to type .it hurts me bc they are trying to make me feel like I’m being flip and selfish but i feel miserable in that house or even living in the same state as them. I feel im making the right choice for myself but ik they won’t support me BUT on the bright side i have supportive and loving family in the state that i want to move to so as long as i have them that’s all that matters :( but i don’t mind hearing you guys advice
You chose your own path,god never abandones you or keads you down the wrong road. If you feel that moving to a new state is what you need to do to be your own person and live life freely then go,the worst that will happen is it doesnt go well and you have to start over. God gives us battles he knows we can handle,you can handle this. I lived in the same situation as you it sounds like and leaving made me so much more happier and healthier mentally emotionally and physically. Just remember you are loved and supported always not by just the physical forms of people around you but by Jesus and God himself.
Your dad will never give you the go ahead. He will always ask you to wait just a little while longer. In the mean time, your life is slipping by. Go but be extra safe
I had to leave my controlling mother in my early 20s. I got the courage to pack what would fit into my vehicle & left to another state. I had some money saved. 💁🏽♀️It was the best thing for me to do for myself. Away from her, I was able to freely grow as a person. As long as you are 18 or over, your parents cannot stop you. Go & live YOUR LIFE. I pray you have the courage & strength to do it🙂🙏🏽NO ONE can live your life but YOU.
Years ago, I knew a man in my congregation in his late fifties who despite living on his own was a nervous wreck, a spendthrift, complained all the time, worked a dead-end job and was estranged from his ex-wife (after she cheated on him years earlier for obvious reasons) and children. He was also obsessed with religion and conspiracy theories and would rarely talk about anything else. He also leered at and sometimes hit on younger women, some of whom where young enough to be his daughters. Others in the church put up with him out of a sense of Christian duty but otherwise kept their distance. As it turns out, he had an extremely controlling mother who still manipulated him even when she was on death's door in a nursing home. I enjoy a good redemption story as much as the next guy, but let's be realistic: if you can't navigate the vicissitudes of adulthood by a certain age, then you never will, and your life will never get better. The sad part is that it has so much to do with how you're raised, which is something over which no one has any control.
In my case, I was traumatized to the point of literally not remembering a very significant and definitive time in my life as a young teen. So I was reacting to life, largely on an unconscious basis, until the memories came back and I realized that even my personality, priorities, etc. had been ASSIGNED to me by a narcissistic parent. I was shocked to remember that I used to be an extrovert. I have believed for DECADES that I am an introvert! Many other things have surfaced since these memories started coming back 13 months ago. As traumatic, heartbreaking and difficult it has been, I'm relieved and thankful for having my own personality back! And, it has brought me closer to God. Maybe pray for your friend. He sounds like a pain, but maybe he's suffering with something you cannot even imagine.
@@Hawaiiansky11 I'm sorry to hear what your parent did to you. They knew they had the power and exploited it to boost their own ego at your expense. Despicable. I'm glad to hear that you've found a way to begin recovering and I hope it works out for you.
Someone from the Church should have reached out to help this man get the help he needs , not ‘put up with him”. It’s not your Christian duty to “turn the other cheek” in all instances, only some. Too bad someone didn’t get the controlling mother some psyc help decades ago. Her controlling behavior stems from her own past and so on and so on. These are just my thoughts and feelings. Not hard and fast rules. Maybe they should be.
@@denisef1153 I truly don't know what kind of person could help a narcissist except God. Anyone aspiring to help them can't be naive, they can't be easily triggered from past trauma and they have to have the discernment to know when they themselves are being handled. Most professionals won't touch them bc they have a career to lose if that patient starts making false accusations. Anyone else just ends up being an enabler or the enemy they have to destroy by any means. In my experience they can only change if they're willing to face their secret shame and admit what they've become which means seeing they've been wrong. Accountability is a serious problem for them so most never try to change.
He is right about the sisters being fellow conspirators to their father Laban. I found myself in similar dynamic / situation with my inlaws. We now have 4 kids & 18 yrs later finally recovering from being so enmeshed. My husband is like Jacob that didn’t have agency. He acted so weird & unprofessional at work (even flirty) but turns out toxic systems make him fawn. He survived the family system that way & when a similar system is around he will “act” the same way. In psychology they call them the flying monkeys to the narc. His mom is the narc and hubby will teeter totter between flying monkey or scapegoat. In order to be the scapegoat he will manipulate to be promoted to flying monkey. Pls pray for us, I am so drained. Standing in the gap to make sure my kids do not turn into toxic individuals themselves. Ultimatums do not work for them because they don’t see the hold of systems in their mindset.
I wonder what Christmas of 2024 is gonna look like. I’m saying this because I’m currently in a situation rn with my mother who is absolutely controlling and wants her plans to be in set then my own (She wants a house for us to live in, I want my own place for myself). So as I’m typing this I’m about to work next week for a dealership and I’m absolutely grateful for it, it gives me an opportunity to finally get a chance to move out before the middle of April once I have everything settled in a financial manner. And I know she’s going to freak out once I tell her, that is when I’m moved already in my own place. But for now, I need to speak and continue to vent to the lord himself. I’m grateful for god for the opportunity I have received. As I will always cherish it. With that being said, I hope to update you all when Christmas of 2024 arrives. If not, just know I tried. 👍
How are you doing with your goal? I'm 36 with an 11 year old daughter. We live with my mom. I love mom and she has helped me tremendously throughout court battles. She suffers high anxiety, PTSD from her childhood, and is a critical and can be very controlling at times. We are both Christians. I don't k kw what it's like to be on my own since my ole college days. I feel very conflicted with my own situation and even depressed some days. I'm in school to be a court reporter but I feel I need change sooner than later. My mom is supportive when I'm home with her BUT not really sure how supportive when I move out one day. When I talk about moving out, she is not very loving or supportive about the topic. She will overpayment my daughter and criticize her, speak over her, etc. Their relationship is not the best. I'm at a complete loss. :(
This is such a great message. My MIL divorced my husband and I. She was always involved in everything since day one. I felt as if he was married to her and not me. She ruined everything through control manipulation, and narcissistic behavior tactics to steer my husband further and further away from our marriage. Eventually that’s exactly what happened she disowned him for moving with me and our children and his inheritance if he stayed married to me, he chose his inheritance and his mother destroying our whole family and now it started with our children
I'm currently living in my in-law's household. She always taking my wife's time that supposed to be for me and my son. She dictates my wife what to do and do not. Few years back before we moved here, my wife always with me specially on Sunday service. We were so happy, Now she doesn't want to come with me, because her Devoted Catholic mom tells her not to go with me because of being protestant, there's more.
I am going through this right now and I am willing to fix the Mistake I have made and trying to be in a healthy relationship with my family and the family I do and have I hope something good will come in my way
I’m 55 and have dealt with this my entire life. Now my mom is chronically ill and needs my help. I’d hoped things would change nearing the end of her life, but it hasn’t. I love her so much and want to continue to take care of her, but am finding it impossible for me because of how it’s affecting my mental health.
I get so uncomfortable and nervous when my mother calls. She calls me often and sometimes 4 times a day (though I'll only answer once) After years of nerves, Iv broken and can't pretend this works anymore. Was gona take time to myself then tell her but after watching this, I'm going to pray about it and ask God. 🙏🏾♥️. I'm 29 btw . Unmarried Wonderful sermon
Is so sad they get obsessed with their adult son is not even love anymore is obsecion. They need to love God first if they truly love God they would respect their son
I’m 26 yo, working full time, my mom would call me at 8pm every night to make sure I’m home by then. If I’m not, she will throw a huge tantrum and accusing me of doing some horrible stuff like drinking and doing drugs.. I’m tired of this life man
I HAVE SEEN the best kids come from broken homes time after time,because of God I am sure❤ .I have seen kids from great homes 🏡 turn out to be drug addicted thugs,intitled brats, .I believe God knows who we are before he formed us,as God said 🙏 Jacob I loved,Essau I hated! I believe still God leads and guides and we can live good ,quiet pure lives surrounded by evil,which atcthis point in Gods Timeclock,we certainlyvsee hear observe the decline of morality.We never give up praying for our lost children,but I have come to find that we all make our own way in this world, never helps to blame parents .For we are threw Jesus,overcomers and 🙌 😇 🙏
Even though I've never been homeschooled (not counting covid), I still gave parents who try and control me and justify it with the bible as well as try to make it look like it's me. The best advice I can give you to slowly move out of that situation is to start to go out more. Spend less time at home, and with them, this can include finding a job or internship. Like the preacher said don't send this to them because it might land you in a worse situation. Nonetheless this is what is helping me realize alot of what I'm doing is not just me but me reacting based off how I was treated. I hope this helps. I will pray for you.
My mother was extremely controlling I walked on egg shells my whole life trying to make sure she didn't blow up, I'm almost positive she is bipolar but she would never dare go see someone and admit she has a problem. She would absolutely rage over the smallest things and throw things, break things, yell, slam doors so hard that the house shook, she absolutely traumatized my father and my sister and both of them suffered from alcoholism because of it. They raised me in the most watered down lukewarm church ever and they never read their bible. Neither of them were christ like and I had to read the bible on my own to find out the truth. I have complex ptsd due to the child abuse and am extremely hypervigilant because of it and I have serious adhd symptoms and who knows what else is wrong with me. My whole life my parents told me I was the problem and never showed me love or affection, I think my mom has an evil spirit living inside of her and it caused everyone in my family serious pain and suffering and now I am struggling with my faith because of all that was done to me and not being told the truth about who God is and what he says in his word. My dad said that he started to read Genesis when my parents almost got divorced. My parents think that reading the bible is optional as a christian and I am so upset that they raised me this way.
My mom controls me like I am very young boy she doesn't give time to make my own decision as until I start feeling like I am worthless and sometimes I need just to sacrifice myself and I get confused. I hope I will be not be a bad father to my kids. I hope God will give me wisdom.
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Some Children r Growing up in Families were They r Made into Family Problems because Their Family Need to Turn Them into that in order to make their own Terrible marriage seem to work
How many times have I felt like I was a mistake, because of the way my parents (who've been divorced since March 1984; my mother actually cheated on my dad in December 1983 because she refused to wait for the divorce to be finalized! And why the divorce? Because, I believe, in part because my dad refused to kiss her... you know.) treated and raised me. Also because of being molested at a 6 and bullied ever since SECOND GRADE! Believe it or not, because I saw this song listed in the closing credits of the wonderful Tom Hanks film about Mr. Fred Rogers "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" called "I Am a Mistake" I looked it up on UA-cam, ignored the fact that it was Daniel the tiger puppet singing to Lady Elaine and just listened to the words. I actually cried like a baby because I felt the same way. Look it up and listen for yourself, and you'll see what I mean.
I got so much wisdom out of this sermon. But I have a few questions regarding my personal situation. I am an adult daughter who lives states away. I pay my own bills and everything. My parents really try to control my life. Honestly, most of my life, they have been controlling. How to I manage this? Especially, in a dating.
I had issues going in that direction too, let's put it like that. It wasn't that me old Mum RIP was purposefully controlling, forcefully imposing her will or abusive...or no, wait, the latter in homeopathic doses she was...it was just, she wasn't really capable of letting go of her children when they were no longer children. I was born one of 11, and my tough luck of all those was that as a youth I let my curriculum vitae go against the wall somewhat. Which resulted in being financially able to leave the parents' home only at 28...so I received the full dose of the above described. Somehow thanks to Yeshuah I did find my way to put the most aching foot down when needed, but she wasn't accustomed to such, which meant things went tough between us two. The good thing was, it wasn't too long after I did move out that God led me to move to another city in another part of the country, which was, I can only say, his sheer mercy...!
My mother was very controlling. She wanted me to stick around pay the bills. She wanted to use my car because she didn't want to buy one and her car was old and needed to be replaced and when I put my foot down and said enough's enough I can't even use the car that I'm paying for. Her response was fine. I'll just sell everything and live on the street. Well I'm early 20s. I don't want my mom to live on the street but I eventually do move away but she was manipulative and she tried to get others involved and the reason I know this was I constantly got calls from people telling me I should move back in and take care of my mother. Why am I not taking care of my mother getting chewed out by several people? And one of them even saying that I should leave my wife and kids quit my job move in and take care of my mom and when I told him I'm not leaving my wife I'm not quitting my job. I'm not leaving my home. His response was it's your mother. You take care of her like I've tried my best. I'm not moving back to a town I don't want to live in and I'm not moving in with her house. So this was something that went on until she moved in with me and then all of them manipulation and stuff came to an end. Me and my mother had a very good last several years of her life but for the most part that's what I had to deal with. It was just me. My brother also had to deal with it too
Keep in mind, situation like you experienced at SportClips could have been a special needs son. That may be why he was driven or why she opposed spending money unnecessarily. Possible. If so, mom could have handled it better to encourage more independence. Your main point stands and I agree with it. Just worth noting that often people interpret what they see with the lens of only what they know.
I know special needs adult who has his own job. Just a little slow. I used to work with him when I was a minor. Many special needs people function good. It’s how you raise them. If you raise them well , they will survive. Now if you hold them back you get an adult toddler- remember parents will pass away one day. So who will take care of them
I’m 39 years old, have 2 failed marriages one by wrong choice… now I’m courting someone else who God has sent to me through two prophecies… she had hers I had mine from two different prophets… now my mum won’t say hello to her and won’t accept my decision for marriage.. always throw a negative spanner in the works. Always throws my past in my face.. if I don’t go back to my first wife no other women can be accepted… I’m embarrassed as my wife to be family accepted me..
He’s right tho I’ve been over parented and I work in retail and I talk exactly like him stuttering the whole time I’m really trying to fit in but I honestly don’t know how to talk to people without anxiety eating me up or how handle mean people when I worked my first job I thought the world was rainbows and puppies and I still don’t get it I quit my job bc anxiety and being overwhelmed I was there for three years and each day felt like crap I hated the world couldn’t understand why people are mean and cruel to others I just wish I wasn’t coddled so much
I GAVE MY CHILDREN reasonable house rules, Biblical actually. They grew up productive ,relatively happy well adjusted and independent 👏. One of my children was just rebellious, against any and all authority ADHD , AND struggles with many thing. et
Oh. I totally do not have a crush on someone who is a bit too close with his... --- Pray for us plz. Also, thank you so much for making it somewhat funny
Re the haircut story.. as a former hairdresser, you have no idea how common that is. I never had a middle aged man come in with mommy but college aged sons (it's always the sons) were not uncommon. And all I have to say still is...cut the cord. It's ok to let your baby go and decide on their own haircut 🤦🏻♀️
@@privateinfo1711 exactly! And usually when hair is short it always seems to grow faster. I had a client who would say the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut was 2 weeks 😂
there is no healing from abusive parents . because If people who abuse and no matter what the abuse is , abuse is abuse , and as I was saying, that if those people who abuse another if they know how to behave in public than they know how to behave in private , and it isn't a sickness nor is it an illness because that is just an excuse. and it is no laughing matter. '' To play God is to believe you have control over life and death , which is impossible . ''
My mom argued with me and tells me what kind of hair cut to get,I just don’t understand my mom and other parents, it’s like they wherent kids and didn’t want controlling parents 😂😂😂
I'm 42 (almost 43) and single by choice. Childhood decision. Why? 1) My mother is selfish, uncaring, manipulative (quite possibly a sociopath), cares more about her friends than her family, has been married 5 times (and divorced 5 times), all to men just like her...(Except for the obvious similarity, she has nothing in common with the Samaritan woman at the well) My half-sister worships Satan and is involved with witchcraft and the like. 2) My dad is also selfish, uncaring, cares more about his FIFTH wife than he does me... You know, I'm glad I got saved back in 2001 and let God take over as my Father. I'm well aware of how kids can, as adults, make the same mistakes their parents did. But I refuse to go down that road, so I'm intentionally waiting until both parents pass away, and then until God blessed me with a woman who also loves Jesus Christ as much as or more than I do. If you think this is wrong, you might want to read all of Ezekiel 18. If by some miracle they get saved, repent of all their sins, and are Godly sorry for the way they treated me all my life (and not just sorry they got caught), great. But if not, it's on them. Yes, I tried to share the Gospel with them, but they've rejected it, thinking they're good enough to get to heaven. So I have no choice but to wash my hands of their sick, sinful behavior.
❤ May the Peace of the Lord Jesus continually guide and direct your life. Trust His will and plan for you. He loves you greatly. I have witnessed miracles in people's lives, including my own, and know this to be true.❤️🙏❤️
@@ketubah857 Gabe Poirot, Kevin zadai channel, Jesse duplantis. These people have all been in front of Jesus and report that God isn't in control, you are. Jesus gave us back the authority that Adam gave away.
My mom is a toxic covert narcissist who thrives on manipulation. I've tried everything with her.. Everything. She still wants to control my life. I never learnt to make any good decision, she always decided everything for me. Would I be wrong to want her completely out of my life?
Adult children have to honor their parents. If your parents are giving true words of Godly wisdom, it would be wise to listen to them. If you detect that your parents are being selfish, you do not have to listen to them.
No. Obey your parents is a verse for children. It says CHILDREN obey your parents. Also Genesis tells a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his spouse and this leaving is not just physical
Very (genuinely) interested to hear what’s considered a controlling parent by the man who excommunicated an entire family - and hen sent his private security detail to monitor them - after their teenage son and Mark’s teenage daughter were interested in each other.
That adult child at the barber could have a hidden disability (there are many), and the mother could be at the end of her rope with the financial and personal responsibilities of providing care for a disabled child on a low income. But judge a stranger instead of sincerely praying for them. That'll help. Real manly.
Sure it could be- but I believe he’s speaking of the men that aren’t disabled. And there are MANY. They do a lot of damage to their partners and children. I believe he’s speaking about them. I question why you’re so quick to make excuses? And be critical of him personally? Hmmm do you have sons?? Hitting too close?
I always thought for Jacob to miss the fact that he had totally consummated the marriage with another woman he had to be totally lit the night before. He was drunk, probably high on whatever grass they had in those days. By the time he was done his brain was a raisin. 😅
I subscribed, but then unsubscribed because I couldn’t keep up with how fast he was talking. I’m from Scotland so talking fast is my forte too, but with this type of story telling, you need to give people a moment to take the information in. He doesn’t do that. It’s a shame as he’s so watchable in every other way x
My girlfriend’s parents need to hear this message. Her family has been very controlling & she turns 28 tomorrow. It’s sad. My girlfriend cares too much about what her parents think of her because ultimately manipulated her into thinking this way. I believe she can get out of this mindset. It just takes a little bit of encouraging & will power to change your mindset.
Im in the same boat but i’m 22 and the guy im seeing knows how problematic my mom is , calling me incessantly wanting to know my location, judging whatever i do, slutshaming me for being intimate w this guy. Its not even about keeping me safe, its control. Now i’m being treated like a sack of shit and i still live at home. I’m still a university student so its even harder to be able to leave.
This made me look at why I’m having issues with my adult daughter. I needed this message. Thank you.
I have a very controlling and emotionally immature mom, and I simply refuse to be that way towards my little daughter. I pray the wisdom in this sermon stays at the forefront of my heart and mind as my daughter grows up!
Same. Both of my parents were like that growing up. Immature and abusive. Never taking responsibility. Takes a lot of healing.
I have the same thing. God will reign in this situation for us both 🙏 🙌
Oh my gosh!! I relate to you so much.. I have been struggling with it so much. Like she won't let me see anyone she don't have a good relationship with because they're "bad"
My mother actually chastized me and tried to guilt trip me for volunteering at a homeless shelter on Christmas. Well into my 50’s at the time. Our kids are grown and my husband was working. Believe them when they show who they are.
Good advice to believe them when they show who they are!
That’s incredible! But not shocking after what I witnessed this year in my own family. Two sisters best friends 60+ years, the older sister (my mother) wrote my aunt out of my gparents will. They will show themselves.
Wow
A lot of people should hear this. It effects/affects their future and their kid's future. Me lastly, this is a huge ding. "You can't even move up to caffeine" "i want to give you freedom, but not freedom that will destroy you". Well said.
Finally a Christian voice of reason on this topic, had to make the decision to leave half my family without contact 9 years ago. It was the best decision I ever made, but I had to leave most of our shared acquaintances too bc it was an unpopular decision at the time. Thank you for doing these videos and leading people out of the darkness in their own families.
Proud of you!
I pray your strength in the Lord in Jesus' name. AMEN.
I’ve had to make no contact as well. God will give us strength through this.
I was that kid. But not because I was over parented, quite the opposite. I was neglected and abused. Wasn't until I woke up to Jesus, at 41, that I found out my personality. Which is in Christ.
Been there done that, it gets better are you grow up and realize the truth.
It hits like a ton of bricks when you sober up.
The marriage covenant begins by leaving your parents. This includes emotionally. Children with father/mother wounds can end up like the woman at the well, using partners to get their unmet childhood needs met, and ruining the relationship. 'Even a good person makes a bad Jesus' - Mark Driscoll
Pardon me. Sir, and I have all the respect in the world for you and am sooo grateful for your teachings. But, I must correct a wrong thinking on the part of the lady at the well. She was married and divorced 5 times because she was barren. It was legal for men to divorce if the wife could not bear children. She must have been beautiful and intelligent for men to "line up" to marry her. She did not ruin her marriages. This is not taught because we dont know the Jewish customs and laws and way of life they lived back then, in ancient times. Thank you Sir, again. You help me so very much with your wisdom. I just felt the need to stand up for this lady who has gotten such a bad rap. 💛
@@ketubah857 HalleluYah! You have discernment...the legal terms are not made clear, and without this critical understanding of the ANE, many will continuously lean on their own understanding and misrepresent the true meaning of Yahuah's Word...this is how the adversary works his cunningness....
@@Sage_puppets Thanks! 🙂
The story about the thirty something year old son is absolutely sad. His mother probably had NPD and conditioned him to be that way and he didn't even realize it. Now he probably have codependency. It is a horrible, viscious, and devastating pattern that the enemy have been passing through family for years. But JESUS IS BREAKING THAT IN THIS SEASON IN THE MIGHTY AND MATCHLESS NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH. THE NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. AMEN. ❤❤❤
Eye opener. I love my kid so much and raised him out of fear and tried my best to protect him from the evil of the world. 32 years old and for years Ive always been like, dont do this bc this could happen. I've spent so many years giving instructions up until his grown years that i havent even learned how to have an adult conversation with him. God forgive him. He still loves his mom so very much. God forgive me for over parenting and thank god in spite of, he has always been independent, but I always just wanted to take care of him. He will be married soon and I wish him well. We will look for a suit for him for his big day. Thank you God for allowing me another day to get it right
I have never heard a pastor teach on this. It is really eye opening.
Very true
Its very sermon that hits home, thank you Pastor Mark. I'm a daughter of a very controlling mom with an absent dad and caused me to marry a person like her as well but the Lord is working in my marriage till this day its still a bit difficult. But God is good He will finish what he has started♥️
I love the positive attitude you carry 🙏🏽
This really helped me cause I’m a college ( a sophomore) and my parents are arguing with me and mad I have a job. Also I have a few slipping grades but I’m learning to juggle it all. All my mother does is lecture me and when she asks to see my grades I told her I found a solution and that I would show her them when the solution was done but no she didn’t care. It’s gotten to the point where I am begging the Father to take me home, but I know I can’t. I pray that my parents give me grace like I given them and her me actually and understand me
Parents interfere with their Childrens freewill to make their own choices just because they don't like what makes them happy.
Not always true . Some parents want their children to go to heaven.
@@susankovach8927 I understand that believe me I do, I have a 22 year old daughter but uuum that is not their decision to make. With family there's that control factor. There are those who want to be able to control things that are out of our hands.
Everyone has their own individual paths. We can't control what isn't part of our own path.
@@susankovach8927what a disgusting take
That’s why some adult children don’t have no love for their parents and sometimes disrespect them or dishonor them I’m the same way too
@@tristane2001why is wanting your kids to go to heaven a disgusting take?
Thank you pastor for this bold message. Most pastors stick with “you must obey your parents no matter what “ sermons. I’m going through a divorce largely because he never changed his priorities. I was about 7th on the totem pole. He cheated on me and his parents welcomed the mistress!! It gets worse. My mother who has tried to control me spent time with my husband behind my back. My mother feels she did nothing wrong and still wants to control. Unfortunately I’m going to have to get a restraining order against my mother.
wow, God give you strength.
I’m a survivor of emotional and psychological abuse and I have been feeling this way. How can I cope with feeling insecure about myself. God bless you and your family and be safe.
As far as feeling insecure, remember you are a precious child of God. He created you in His imagine. That makes you an extraordinary individual! The Lord sees you as nothing but beautiful. Don’t see yourself as your abusive family does. See yourself as God does. If you have any negative or toxic thoughts, that’s an attack from the enemy and they’re lies. Keep going back to how God sees you and loves you. This is a God who sacrificed His only Son to save us from our sins. That’s an amazing love!! I’m sure you know this, but keep reminding yourself of it every day. God bless you!
It’s worse when you have to temporarily live with them and you go through this and try to get help and nobody believes you especially with dealing with a mother, fathers there’s usually wayyy more resources but mothers they expect you to brush it under the rug and say oh that’s your mother and you their adult child has to mentally suffer to keep the peace so you want randomly end up homeless
It’s hard at times
Yay and when you make decisions for your self they criticize everything or worse they say you can’t do that I’m ready to break this cycle
I'm in the exact situation due to my own choices. It's hard I just pray Jesus works good out of it
Thanks for a great sermon… I married a man who’s a mamas boy. He abandoned me and our 6 months old baby daughter and went to live with his controlling mother. I tried everything to have family but all my affords were useless 😢. I gave up and let him go. It’s 18 years after and he still lives with mom. The definition of mamas boy is- immature, irresponsible father, husband. Mature man- responsible for kids, wife and all family members . I learned the hard way 😢😢
Oh my. I am so sorry, that’s horrible
i can understand you, because my dad is mama boy, they never mature & understand they need to leave there mother & bond with there wife as one. My grandma is a control freak sycopath, who abuse me & mothers. My mom gets mental abuse ,get shot 💉 just to forget sad thing. And i get mental abuse but serious .
Absolute best sermon I have ever heard especially on this topic and coming from a pastor. Pastor Mark has changed my life so much since I started listening to him about 6 months ago!
I grew up in a “Christian home” and went to Christian schools. Let me tell you they where all anything but Christian, so my views where always very flawed!
I have a mother like this, she’s very extreme and a covert narcissist, my dad unfortunately knows how wrong she is and how she acts but never ever says anything about the abuse she throws out to me and my sister, my dad actually shuts down and stops talking to me if I put up boundaries with my mom, it’s very painful.
I’m 42 by the way and divorced, I’m in a great relationship now and hearing this sermon will help my relationship and my future relationships with my boys.
Thank you so much pastor Mark you have truly helped me and helped restore my true Christian faith! Thank you! Bless you and your wonderful family!💛
Yeah, crying through several parts. But I thank the Lord that you are talking about things like this and bringing them out of the closet, so to speak. Even to those of us that know we have a problem, but try to stuff it and so not really deal with it, which prevents growth and maturity in Christ. Please continue just this way in your ministry. I so appreciate your openness and honesty. There’s not a lot of instruction like this available. Blessings to you, your family, and your church family.
This was great and well said and note taken. Ugggh, it’s not too late to turn this around-thank you Jesus.
God help me, I'm living with family (long story) , need to move away asap, someone please pray 4 me
I ask you to take action and not hope nothing changes if you don't change it
We're going thru this with my mother now that my dad has died. She has always been very controlling and critical especially hard on me. I was the middle child and the only single parent raising 3 kids on my own. She often stayed with me and it created long bouts of sadness and depression for me. My family didn't believe me until mom went to live with my sister, now finally they believes me, very hard to navigate because she was abused by my dad so much, so hard to deal with...
I had to look at your name and see that this wasn't my own comment. I had the same mother. I forgive her but I stay away.
Ok
Wow, My Dad was abusive to my Mother and kids. My mother is 91 and has always been controlling and manipulative. Now she is pitting her children against each other. You end up feeling like you are going made. I live with shame and guilt because she would leave me at 5 with my grand father. He was evil. She didn't want a 5 year old attached to her hip as she walked up town. Anyway, people will judge me, but I walked away from her, and there is no looking back. I know it sounds bad, but I may have a heart attack if I stay.
I don't know what's the fear of allowing kids to be free when they're adults? I just don't understand why it's a stigma nowadays.
Godly counsel from elders and parents is vital for young adults
me and my siblings have been controlled our whole lives. it comes to a point to where we tense up or get quiet when our dad steps in the room and that’s NOT normal! as a kid i felt i couldn’t make my own choices .. like simple choices without feeling shamed or doubted. It’s crucial for a child to develop decision making skills and learn from mistakes or else they will move in fear and won’t know how to function without their parents approval.even now as a young adult my parents still want to control my decisions. it really hurts me bc i want to move to a different state mind you i have my money saved, I have my own car that i bought, I have a certificate for the industry i want to be in and the state i want to go to has more opportunities for me. Also i plan on having a source of income during the whole process. my dad said he would only support me if I move out the way he wants me to move and wait how long he wants me to wait..but i can’t bc i feel ready mentally, emotionally, spiritually and i already have a plan. as a young adult i feel my decision is not respected and I’m constantly drained from explaining myself. I also have been emotionally manipulated, verbally abused as a child, gaslighted and guilt tripped by both parents. it’s wayyyy more trauma that should be added but that would be too much to type .it hurts me bc they are trying to make me feel like I’m being flip and selfish but i feel miserable in that house or even living in the same state as them. I feel im making the right choice for myself but ik they won’t support me BUT on the bright side i have supportive and loving family in the state that i want to move to so as long as i have them that’s all that matters :( but i don’t mind hearing you guys advice
If you feel it's what you want to do, please go for it. May the Lord guide you. Deut 31: 8-9
You chose your own path,god never abandones you or keads you down the wrong road. If you feel that moving to a new state is what you need to do to be your own person and live life freely then go,the worst that will happen is it doesnt go well and you have to start over. God gives us battles he knows we can handle,you can handle this. I lived in the same situation as you it sounds like and leaving made me so much more happier and healthier mentally emotionally and physically. Just remember you are loved and supported always not by just the physical forms of people around you but by Jesus and God himself.
Your dad will never give you the go ahead. He will always ask you to wait just a little while longer. In the mean time, your life is slipping by. Go but be extra safe
I had to leave my controlling mother in my early 20s. I got the courage to pack what would fit into my vehicle & left to another state. I had some money saved. 💁🏽♀️It was the best thing for me to do for myself. Away from her, I was able to freely grow as a person. As long as you are 18 or over, your parents cannot stop you. Go & live YOUR LIFE. I pray you have the courage & strength to do it🙂🙏🏽NO ONE can live your life but YOU.
When God tells you to pivot, then that’s what you do ❤
What a massively great biblical lesson!!!!
Years ago, I knew a man in my congregation in his late fifties who despite living on his own was a nervous wreck, a spendthrift, complained all the time, worked a dead-end job and was estranged from his ex-wife (after she cheated on him years earlier for obvious reasons) and children. He was also obsessed with religion and conspiracy theories and would rarely talk about anything else.
He also leered at and sometimes hit on younger women, some of whom where young enough to be his daughters.
Others in the church put up with him out of a sense of Christian duty but otherwise kept their distance.
As it turns out, he had an extremely controlling mother who still manipulated him even when she was on death's door in a nursing home.
I enjoy a good redemption story as much as the next guy, but let's be realistic: if you can't navigate the vicissitudes of adulthood by a certain age, then you never will, and your life will never get better. The sad part is that it has so much to do with how you're raised, which is something over which no one has any control.
In my case, I was traumatized to the point of literally not remembering a very significant and definitive time in my life as a young teen. So I was reacting to life, largely on an unconscious basis, until the memories came back and I realized that even my personality, priorities, etc. had been ASSIGNED to me by a narcissistic parent. I was shocked to remember that I used to be an extrovert. I have believed for DECADES that I am an introvert! Many other things have surfaced since these memories started coming back 13 months ago.
As traumatic, heartbreaking and difficult it has been, I'm relieved and thankful for having my own personality back! And, it has brought me closer to God. Maybe pray for your friend. He sounds like a pain, but maybe he's suffering with something you cannot even imagine.
@@Hawaiiansky11 I'm sorry to hear what your parent did to you. They knew they had the power and exploited it to boost their own ego at your expense. Despicable.
I'm glad to hear that you've found a way to begin recovering and I hope it works out for you.
Someone from the Church should have reached out to help this man get the help he needs , not ‘put up with him”. It’s not your Christian duty to “turn the other cheek” in all instances, only some.
Too bad someone didn’t get the controlling mother some psyc help decades ago. Her controlling behavior stems from her own past and so on and so on. These are just my thoughts and feelings. Not hard and fast rules. Maybe they should be.
@@denisef1153 I truly don't know what kind of person could help a narcissist except God. Anyone aspiring to help them can't be naive, they can't be easily triggered from past trauma and they have to have the discernment to know when they themselves are being handled. Most professionals won't touch them bc they have a career to lose if that patient starts making false accusations. Anyone else just ends up being an enabler or the enemy they have to destroy by any means. In my experience they can only change if they're willing to face their secret shame and admit what they've become which means seeing they've been wrong. Accountability is a serious problem for them so most never try to change.
@@amandachamberlain3169 WOW. gulp
He is right about the sisters being fellow conspirators to their father Laban. I found myself in similar dynamic / situation with my inlaws. We now have 4 kids & 18 yrs later finally recovering from being so enmeshed. My husband is like Jacob that didn’t have agency. He acted so weird & unprofessional at work (even flirty) but turns out toxic systems make him fawn. He survived the family system that way & when a similar system is around he will “act” the same way. In psychology they call them the flying monkeys to the narc. His mom is the narc and hubby will teeter totter between flying monkey or scapegoat. In order to be the scapegoat he will manipulate to be
promoted to flying monkey. Pls pray for us, I am so drained. Standing in the gap to make sure my kids do not turn into toxic individuals themselves. Ultimatums do not work for them because they don’t see the hold of systems in their mindset.
My father is everything to everyone except a good father to us.
I wonder what Christmas of 2024 is gonna look like. I’m saying this because I’m currently in a situation rn with my mother who is absolutely controlling and wants her plans to be in set then my own (She wants a house for us to live in, I want my own place for myself). So as I’m typing this I’m about to work next week for a dealership and I’m absolutely grateful for it, it gives me an opportunity to finally get a chance to move out before the middle of April once I have everything settled in a financial manner. And I know she’s going to freak out once I tell her, that is when I’m moved already in my own place. But for now, I need to speak and continue to vent to the lord himself. I’m grateful for god for the opportunity I have received. As I will always cherish it. With that being said, I hope to update you all when Christmas of 2024 arrives. If not, just know I tried. 👍
How are you doing with your goal? I'm 36 with an 11 year old daughter. We live with my mom. I love mom and she has helped me tremendously throughout court battles. She suffers high anxiety, PTSD from her childhood, and is a critical and can be very controlling at times. We are both Christians. I don't k kw what it's like to be on my own since my ole college days. I feel very conflicted with my own situation and even depressed some days. I'm in school to be a court reporter but I feel I need change sooner than later. My mom is supportive when I'm home with her BUT not really sure how supportive when I move out one day. When I talk about moving out, she is not very loving or supportive about the topic. She will overpayment my daughter and criticize her, speak over her, etc. Their relationship is not the best. I'm at a complete loss. :(
@@katrinaflores2012 It’s a work in progress I’ve come to find out that the situation that I was in was considered a mother enmeshed man problem.
This is such a great message. My MIL divorced my husband and I. She was always involved in everything since day one. I felt as if he was married to her and not me. She ruined everything through control manipulation, and narcissistic behavior tactics to steer my husband further and further away from our marriage. Eventually that’s exactly what happened she disowned him for moving with me and our children
and his inheritance if he stayed married to me, he chose his inheritance and his mother destroying our whole family and now it started with our children
I'm currently living in my in-law's household. She always taking my wife's time that supposed to be for me and my son. She dictates my wife what to do and do not. Few years back before we moved here, my wife always with me specially on Sunday service. We were so happy, Now she doesn't want to come with me, because her Devoted Catholic mom tells her not to go with me because of being protestant, there's more.
I am going through this right now and I am willing to fix the Mistake I have made and trying to be in a healthy relationship with my family and the family I do and have I hope something good will come in my way
And for other people as well I hope something good will come your way
Sounds like my mom and I am almost 55. She is so controlling. If you defend yourself you are wrong.
I’m 55 and have dealt with this my entire life. Now my mom is chronically ill and needs my help. I’d hoped things would change nearing the end of her life, but it hasn’t. I love her so much and want to continue to take care of her, but am finding it impossible for me because of how it’s affecting my mental health.
Yup understood this or if you have boundaries and rules they can be walked over but not theirs.
I get so uncomfortable and nervous when my mother calls. She calls me often and sometimes 4 times a day (though I'll only answer once)
After years of nerves, Iv broken and can't pretend this works anymore. Was gona take time to myself then tell her but after watching this, I'm going to pray about it and ask God. 🙏🏾♥️. I'm 29 btw . Unmarried
Wonderful sermon
Is so sad they get obsessed with their adult son is not even love anymore is obsecion. They need to love God first if they truly love God they would respect their son
I’m 26 yo, working full time, my mom would call me at 8pm every night to make sure I’m home by then.
If I’m not, she will throw a huge tantrum and accusing me of doing some horrible stuff like drinking and doing drugs.. I’m tired of this life man
Run, go no contact!! I’m 64 and I have gone no contact a few days ago. This will be my last time. I know they’re old, but I’m older too and tired.
This sermon is right on point very true great pastor.
A much needed sermon
We lack many family builder lessons. Family is the thing being decayed these days
I HAVE SEEN the best kids come from broken homes time after time,because of God I am sure❤ .I have seen kids from great homes 🏡 turn out to be drug addicted thugs,intitled brats, .I believe God knows who we are before he formed us,as God said 🙏 Jacob I loved,Essau I hated! I believe still God leads and guides and we can live good ,quiet pure lives surrounded by evil,which atcthis point in Gods Timeclock,we certainlyvsee hear observe the decline of morality.We never give up praying for our lost children,but I have come to find that we all make our own way in this world, never helps to blame parents .For we are threw Jesus,overcomers and 🙌 😇 🙏
Such a wonderful teaching ❤ God bless you Pastor
Please pray for me, I’ve been homeschooled and sheltered, I have super controlling parents and i wanna move out, I just have no idea how…
Even though I've never been homeschooled (not counting covid), I still gave parents who try and control me and justify it with the bible as well as try to make it look like it's me. The best advice I can give you to slowly move out of that situation is to start to go out more. Spend less time at home, and with them, this can include finding a job or internship. Like the preacher said don't send this to them because it might land you in a worse situation. Nonetheless this is what is helping me realize alot of what I'm doing is not just me but me reacting based off how I was treated. I hope this helps. I will pray for you.
Work hard so that u can move out by 18.. the longer you stay the more f up u will be when u become an adult
They become same , and instead of having friends ; they wish to Dominate . And so ; the the ⭕ grows ...
My mother was extremely controlling I walked on egg shells my whole life trying to make sure she didn't blow up, I'm almost positive she is bipolar but she would never dare go see someone and admit she has a problem. She would absolutely rage over the smallest things and throw things, break things, yell, slam doors so hard that the house shook, she absolutely traumatized my father and my sister and both of them suffered from alcoholism because of it. They raised me in the most watered down lukewarm church ever and they never read their bible. Neither of them were christ like and I had to read the bible on my own to find out the truth. I have complex ptsd due to the child abuse and am extremely hypervigilant because of it and I have serious adhd symptoms and who knows what else is wrong with me. My whole life my parents told me I was the problem and never showed me love or affection, I think my mom has an evil spirit living inside of her and it caused everyone in my family serious pain and suffering and now I am struggling with my faith because of all that was done to me and not being told the truth about who God is and what he says in his word. My dad said that he started to read Genesis when my parents almost got divorced. My parents think that reading the bible is optional as a christian and I am so upset that they raised me this way.
This is my mothers side of the family .
I got married & LEFT home after college. My younger brother left college & moved BAck home. Still not married.
Thank you, Pastor Mark!!! This message hit home and your message on "father" wounds. So relevant.
my "parents" (enemies) bring control freak to a whole nother level
My mom controls me like I am very young boy she doesn't give time to make my own decision as until I start feeling like I am worthless and sometimes I need just to sacrifice myself and I get confused. I hope I will be not be a bad father to my kids. I hope God will give me wisdom.
Parents aren’t even self-aware of what there own children can handle, let alone take a moment to find out by asking them
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS). Some Children r Growing up in Families were They r Made into Family Problems because Their Family Need to Turn Them into that in order to make their own Terrible marriage seem to work
She molded him like that and killed his self. Overbearing parents kill the adult in a son and daughter
Samoan parents need to listen to this.
How many times have I felt like I was a mistake, because of the way my parents (who've been divorced since March 1984; my mother actually cheated on my dad in December 1983 because she refused to wait for the divorce to be finalized! And why the divorce? Because, I believe, in part because my dad refused to kiss her... you know.) treated and raised me. Also because of being molested at a 6 and bullied ever since SECOND GRADE! Believe it or not, because I saw this song listed in the closing credits of the wonderful Tom Hanks film about Mr. Fred Rogers "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" called "I Am a Mistake" I looked it up on UA-cam, ignored the fact that it was Daniel the tiger puppet singing to Lady Elaine and just listened to the words. I actually cried like a baby because I felt the same way. Look it up and listen for yourself, and you'll see what I mean.
❤
I got so much wisdom out of this sermon. But I have a few questions regarding my personal situation. I am an adult daughter who lives states away. I pay my own bills and everything. My parents really try to control my life. Honestly, most of my life, they have been controlling. How to I manage this? Especially, in a dating.
I'm a wife and a mother to my lovely daughter, I am dealing with controlling my father - in - law. He controlled over marriage life.
My parents need to hear this lol
This is so helpful
I had issues going in that direction too, let's put it like that. It wasn't that me old Mum RIP was purposefully controlling, forcefully imposing her will or abusive...or no, wait, the latter in homeopathic doses she was...it was just, she wasn't really capable of letting go of her children when they were no longer children. I was born one of 11, and my tough luck of all those was that as a youth I let my curriculum vitae go against the wall somewhat. Which resulted in being financially able to leave the parents' home only at 28...so I received the full dose of the above described. Somehow thanks to Yeshuah I did find my way to put the most aching foot down when needed, but she wasn't accustomed to such, which meant things went tough between us two. The good thing was, it wasn't too long after I did move out that God led me to move to another city in another part of the country, which was, I can only say, his sheer mercy...!
❤ I hear you. May God bless your life.
My mother was very controlling. She wanted me to stick around pay the bills. She wanted to use my car because she didn't want to buy one and her car was old and needed to be replaced and when I put my foot down and said enough's enough I can't even use the car that I'm paying for. Her response was fine. I'll just sell everything and live on the street. Well I'm early 20s. I don't want my mom to live on the street but I eventually do move away but she was manipulative and she tried to get others involved and the reason I know this was I constantly got calls from people telling me I should move back in and take care of my mother. Why am I not taking care of my mother getting chewed out by several people? And one of them even saying that I should leave my wife and kids quit my job move in and take care of my mom and when I told him I'm not leaving my wife I'm not quitting my job. I'm not leaving my home. His response was it's your mother. You take care of her like I've tried my best. I'm not moving back to a town I don't want to live in and I'm not moving in with her house. So this was something that went on until she moved in with me and then all of them manipulation and stuff came to an end. Me and my mother had a very good last several years of her life but for the most part that's what I had to deal with. It was just me. My brother also had to deal with it too
Keep in mind, situation like you experienced at SportClips could have been a special needs son. That may be why he was driven or why she opposed spending money unnecessarily. Possible. If so, mom could have handled it better to encourage more independence. Your main point stands and I agree with it. Just worth noting that often people interpret what they see with the lens of only what they know.
I know special needs adult who has his own job. Just a little slow. I used to work with him when I was a minor. Many special needs people function good. It’s how you raise them. If you raise them well , they will survive. Now if you hold them back you get an adult toddler- remember parents will pass away one day. So who will take care of them
My family tried to have me arrested when i showed up to my baby sisters funeral....the nice officer told my surving sister "she's clean and NO"
Pamphlets are nice 👌 👍 also provides paragraphs may a mapping tool 🔧 I think if u used anY path because some bars verzion
Fantastic sermon!!
What about when parents have controlling adult children?
Very good speech,damn i love this very much
D*mn? Re: a Church sermon? WOW
Hahaha. 🎉
"When Jacob laid eyes on his cousin, flexed for her, then kissed her."
Kissing cousins.
MAN, if this ain’t some truth! My ex’s mom… phew! This message just about describes her to a T!
I’m 39 years old, have 2 failed marriages one by wrong choice… now I’m courting someone else who God has sent to me through two prophecies… she had hers I had mine from two different prophets… now my mum won’t say hello to her and won’t accept my decision for marriage.. always throw a negative spanner in the works. Always throws my past in my face.. if I don’t go back to my first wife no other women can be accepted… I’m embarrassed as my wife to be family accepted me..
How does this apply to a disabled man, who cannot live on his own and his parents are controlling?
Don't you understand the distinction of being "controlled" and "provided"?
I hope most Filipino Parents here this...
Oh my gosh, yes
He’s right tho I’ve been over parented and I work in retail and I talk exactly like him stuttering the whole time I’m really trying to fit in but I honestly don’t know how to talk to people without anxiety eating me up or how handle mean people when I worked my first job I thought the world was rainbows and puppies and I still don’t get it I quit my job bc anxiety and being overwhelmed I was there for three years and each day felt like crap I hated the world couldn’t understand why people are mean and cruel to others I just wish I wasn’t coddled so much
I give Elese and Gregory their space. But, as youg children they have boundaries.
I GAVE MY CHILDREN reasonable house rules, Biblical actually. They grew up productive ,relatively happy well adjusted and independent 👏. One of my children was just rebellious, against any and all authority ADHD , AND struggles with many thing. et
My dad likes to control me with my own money cause I draw a check yet my mom is supposed to but yet he control me over everything
How do you know Rachel wasn't locked away until after Jacob found Leah? I always thought she loved Jacob too...
We will ask her in heaven
Oh. I totally do not have a crush on someone who is a bit too close with his... --- Pray for us plz.
Also, thank you so much for making it somewhat funny
I am 30 and suffering from this. But tied to family business that doesn’t want to hire people so i am tied. Need a strategy to separate myself
Wow my name is Jacob to and I deal with a similar situation
Re the haircut story.. as a former hairdresser, you have no idea how common that is. I never had a middle aged man come in with mommy but college aged sons (it's always the sons) were not uncommon. And all I have to say still is...cut the cord. It's ok to let your baby go and decide on their own haircut 🤦🏻♀️
One of my boys bought a barber kit and gave himself buzzcuts. His brother and his Korean buddy bleached their hair. My philosophy was "hair grows".
@@privateinfo1711 exactly! And usually when hair is short it always seems to grow faster. I had a client who would say the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut was 2 weeks 😂
Controlling, toxic, parents that don’t take care of their things are a pain in the ass!!!
there is no healing from abusive parents . because If people who abuse and no matter what the abuse is , abuse is abuse , and as I was saying, that if those people who abuse another if they know how to behave in public than they know how to behave in private , and it isn't a sickness nor is it an illness because that is just an excuse. and it is no laughing matter. '' To play God is to believe you have control over life and death , which is impossible . ''
My mom argued with me and tells me what kind of hair cut to get,I just don’t understand my mom and other parents, it’s like they wherent kids and didn’t want controlling parents 😂😂😂
I'm 42 (almost 43) and single by choice. Childhood decision. Why? 1) My mother is selfish, uncaring, manipulative (quite possibly a sociopath), cares more about her friends than her family, has been married 5 times (and divorced 5 times), all to men just like her...(Except for the obvious similarity, she has nothing in common with the Samaritan woman at the well) My half-sister worships Satan and is involved with witchcraft and the like. 2) My dad is also selfish, uncaring, cares more about his FIFTH wife than he does me... You know, I'm glad I got saved back in 2001 and let God take over as my Father. I'm well aware of how kids can, as adults, make the same mistakes their parents did. But I refuse to go down that road, so I'm intentionally waiting until both parents pass away, and then until God blessed me with a woman who also loves Jesus Christ as much as or more than I do. If you think this is wrong, you might want to read all of Ezekiel 18.
If by some miracle they get saved, repent of all their sins, and are Godly sorry for the way they treated me all my life (and not just sorry they got caught), great. But if not, it's on them. Yes, I tried to share the Gospel with them, but they've rejected it, thinking they're good enough to get to heaven. So I have no choice but to wash my hands of their sick, sinful behavior.
Do you want kids because you will get very old before your parents die and you have no kids😢
❤ May the Peace of the Lord Jesus continually guide and direct your life. Trust His will and plan for you. He loves you greatly. I have witnessed miracles in people's lives, including my own, and know this to be true.❤️🙏❤️
And what about the other way around, since she’s dated a narcissist?
Love how funny it is too
?
So sad and so true .
We're you raised LDS? (I was)
It's interesting how people that have been to the kingdom say that God isn't in control.
What????
@@ketubah857 God isn't in control, we are. He gave us dominion.
@@JF32304 Yes God gave us dominion, Adam gave it to the satin. Who are "The people who have been to the kKingdom"? TY
@@ketubah857 Gabe Poirot, Kevin zadai channel, Jesse duplantis. These people have all been in front of Jesus and report that God isn't in control, you are. Jesus gave us back the authority that Adam gave away.
@@JF32304 oh. These people have lost their way. I hope they wake up. TY for this info.
When you have both is worst
I don't get it I don't want 2 deal with my mom no more
there is no excuse for abuse .
That's reversal for myself
My mom is a toxic covert narcissist who thrives on manipulation. I've tried everything with her.. Everything. She still wants to control my life. I never learnt to make any good decision, she always decided everything for me. Would I be wrong to want her completely out of my life?
No, you can serve only one god. If you are serving your mother, you cant serve God.
Nope. This is the same reason we had to go NC with my MIL. She refused to quit.
Do grown up men and women still have to obey their parents or parent?
That's absolutely
Jesus still obeys his parents till he dies. If he doesn't, he is a breaker law.
Adult children have to honor their parents. If your parents are giving true words of Godly wisdom, it would be wise to listen to them. If you detect that your parents are being selfish, you do not have to listen to them.
No. Obey your parents is a verse for children. It says CHILDREN obey your parents. Also Genesis tells a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his spouse and this leaving is not just physical
36:30 priority list
Very (genuinely) interested to hear what’s considered a controlling parent by the man who excommunicated an entire family - and hen sent his private security detail to monitor them - after their teenage son and Mark’s teenage daughter were interested in each other.
So...youre here to just slam him😮
@@pjj9491 I think he’s just trying to point out that you shouldn’t preach what you don’t follow.
You're disgusting! Shame on you!
can you do a podcast on "when kids are Controlling parents"
That adult child at the barber could have a hidden disability (there are many), and the mother could be at the end of her rope with the financial and personal responsibilities of providing care for a disabled child on a low income. But judge a stranger instead of sincerely praying for them. That'll help. Real manly.
Sure it could be- but I believe he’s speaking of the men that aren’t disabled. And there are MANY. They do a lot of damage to their partners and children. I believe he’s speaking about them.
I question why you’re so quick to make excuses? And be critical of him personally? Hmmm do you have sons?? Hitting too close?
That's a red flag
Amen
I always thought for Jacob to miss the fact that he had totally consummated the marriage with another woman he had to be totally lit the night before. He was drunk, probably high on whatever grass they had in those days. By the time he was done his brain was a raisin. 😅
I love this. I liked it. But I’d be more likely to subscribe if we didn’t mention how negative COVID is lol. Almost seems political.
I subscribed, but then unsubscribed because I couldn’t keep up with how fast he was talking. I’m from Scotland so talking fast is my forte too, but with this type of story telling, you need to give people a moment to take the information in. He doesn’t do that. It’s a shame as he’s so watchable in every other way x
You can slow the video down 😁