I have had a fraudulent relationship for 3 years, and this person has gaslighted, love bombed, emotionally drained me, and did all of the above to hurt me in the relationship and think I'm stuck to leave the situation.
This is truth and real talk 💯‼️ You need to Love yourself more❤❤❤. Do not let your Love hold you hostage in a fraudulent, toxic, and unhealthy relationship/situation ship! Choose Peace and Yourself. Be empowered; you are worthy💟💟💟.
I agree...in fact, the more I love you, the faster & easier it is for me to leave you...I can be rational with others & calculate what I am getting out of the equation with others but if I love, my heart is at stake...that's non negotiable...I will leave you as quickly as I realize you are not as invested or more & yes, because I love me & know my worth...I may love you from a distance but you don't get to indulge in that love...it's a garden...no watering no havest...simple
This happens because there is lack of worth and love for oneself. Took me many years but this is the answer. Thank you for addressing. This will help many people.
Amen. I have a friend here who does this and I'm seriously to the place where I am so done . Thank God I'm not afraid to leave. He works and never.comes home that's strange . He help with bills but there's nothing else. I already advised him were roommates only. I need some stuff in my house done. He doesn't realize once my house is fixed . He had lost everything he was companionate until began to work. His game isn't even tough I am focusing now on what God wants then I'm out.
I am leaving a situation where he is 60 years old and saying that. It is baffling to see grown people believe that if someone leaves them that means they do not love them. These people go on being terrible examples to the youth of today.
Excellent episode. My first time watching you. I LOVE the car metaphor. Will use that to TRY to talk some sense into my females smh. 2 females come to mind RAT NOW who I could send this episode too but they'd rather remain DUMB than to better themselves in these relationship strts but for those that are listening to you sir, thank you for being here! OH! But real quick, PLS don't say you need your "lip gloss" 😂 not a good look 😂 toodles for now!
Did you get a new chance friend did you wrong in change for you get a new life practice for 😢 save 🎉 on your birthday good having a cry only on your birthday this day more than once 🎉❤ from this day
I know that’s right sis!!! Me too. Love you from a looooooong distance!! Boy bye!! Threaten my life!! Won’t kill me! It’s been over 20 years🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️. I’m out! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
I loved my husband deeply but got fed up with how poorly he treated me and so I decided to leave....but he didn't think I would leave because he know how much I loved him but I finally realized that I had to love me and choose me.
I am so grateful that this conversation is being had an brought up. The day before yesterday I decided to walk away from a gentleman I was dating. I sincerely liked him ( a lot) and I was very interested. However he has an avoidant attachment style paired with putting his career first. No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to get to truly know him, grow close to him, ask thought provoking questions as well as learn how to love him properly he wouldn’t allow me too. Anytime there needed to be a serious conversation happen he wouldn’t acknowledge it, just listen to me without saying anything, start singing, or just be silent but never address anything that I stated. It was hurtful. Not to mention his communication started to change and become off so I decided to walk away and let him know why. It truly hurt me because I like him a lot but I had to let him go. Too many times woman choose to stay when we need to leave because we think we won’t get better, we don’t want to be alone, or we care for someone. However if our love/consideration is being taken advantage of or not recognized we need to leave. Women need to stand on business and walk away. Hence why the narrative is women get praised from how much they take from men and staying through it. That will not be me!’
Yep. It took me a long time to learn this. It is completely fine and healthy to cut someone off and not hate them. If honesty, respect, and integrity exit so do I.
If you know these things for yourself but you still can't get out or stop this pattern, and the self-betrayal has hurt you over and over, you probably have childhood trauma that you haven't dealt with completely. Men are not the start of this problem, your parents were. And, if you had to work to be seen with them, you're still working to be seen, meaning still trying to feel worthy of being seen, only men have replaced your parents as your primary person. Remember, as children, parents are our primary people, or person, or, whatever adult raised us during our FORMative years. This becomes our lovers once we leave those people and our childhood home. Your soul will continue to give you opportunities, meaning new relationships, to work this out. Self-love is the only answer and until you start gaining it, you can understand all of this intellectually, but that deep need to feel worthy will cause an attachment to other insecure people that will feel like an addiction. All it is is us saying to ourselves, "I may not have been able to make my parents love me, but I will not fail this time." See, it's not the particular man, it's you. You're choosing people who will make you work for their love, because your brain is actually wired where your internal belief about love, is that it is something that has to be earned. If the neurons in your brain are literally wired like this, you cannot just turn it off. So, while in these relationships, you can feel like, until you are successful at "winning over" a person who does not love nor respect you, you cannot feel worthy, but this is false. You can, you just have to admit to yourself that you don't actually like the person, understand that you have become temporarily, literally mentally ill, from dealing with self-betrayal, and that your focus should be on self as the one responsible for you being in this. Don't focus on the indecency of the other toxic individual that you've attracted, focus on why you're attracted to toxic people. This is even if you're still in the toxic relationship. You're not mad at them, they are literally interchangeable, you are mad at self, for being here again, and, with another person, who is indecent, when you already know better. Self betrayal is what won't let you rest. Check out CPTSD. Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or ComplexPTSD. Just knowing that relationships trigger old childhood patterns of behavior, will give you so much empathy for yourself. But, you must constantly tell yourself the truth and be working to get out of a toxic relationship or to make sure you never enter another one. Gotta do the work no matter which category you fit into.
I wished someone talked to me like this during my childhood, it wouldve saved me a great deal of pain in my adult life . I wouldve been able to take heed to red flag signs and not saw them as imperfections that will get better in the long run .
My ex-husba6told people I never loved him. Dude!!!! I loved you for 30 years and you did the unthinkable to me. You was the only man I ever loved. It hurts still today. And the only thing I asked today is to leave me be. Stop with the mess!!!!!!
@Wanderful Rose God have sent a blessing to earth. Preach wisdom to women. So, women that are in toxic relationships can get out of those relationships. Message to women that are thriving in their dreams and goals to keep moving towards their end goals.
When a person keeps belittling, hurting, manipulating, and cheating on you and then says they "love you" at the end, it is not an act of love, and it will be a repeat cycle if you don't get out!
I luv him but I luv ME MORE 😁👍! Ladies, if you have to go to the battlefield and make a spectacle of yourself just to get his love and affection 🙄. Imagine what you'd have to do to keep his love and affection! After it's all said and done, you still never received what you see out to get in the first place. The reality is if he failed to see and acknowledge your value and worth then he is NOT your king! You shouldn't have to show him your "diamond" status...he should've seen it right off the bat. Don't allow any man to treat you like a piece of cubic zirc!!!!
So True...my dad taught me that he never raised his voice toward me and never placed his hands on me always... protected, love and provided...that baby girl is your standard for men
Here is What I Tell Men "You dont have a spell on me, there is no certain amount of wowing me that makes me be here or make me Love you....Me Loving You is a CHOICE...MY CHOICE...So I can choose to Not and Leave!!!!! So keep taking Advantage of something that's not yours and see how far it take you
Accceeee....you are heaven sent! I'm married and going through this! I struggle between my religion and getting divorced. I need so much help. But your videos give me hope.
I know this is late, but I hope you are doing well! Whatever you decided on, I hope you made the BEST decision regarding your mental health & PEACE! Don't let anyone take those things away from you no matter what religion you're in or what you believe! Blessings to you love! ❤🙏
@Erica Belcher hi sweetheart...I ended up getting the strength to divorce him. He was abusive in so many ways. Our divorce will be finalized in a month
Yes! Love thyself! Even if it was so hard to say goodbye, and I will always love you! But I picked me now first! You are 💯 he was lying the first night. I left 3 weeks ago! It's painful but WORTH IT. LET GO and do you!
Love your longer sessions. Preach! I have already - been - to - church!! Woohoo! 1. I just opened the door to loving me! Being my fill, my best friend! 2. Don’t have to love forever! 3. Ready to be alone
Biblically we are called to love unconditionally, love should not be conditional! Read 1st Corinthians! Never put expectations on love, but everything else I agree with!
Love & relationships are two different things. Love is unconditional but relationships ARE NOT, nor should they be. You can love someone deeply and NOT be able to have a healthy relationship with them. Relationships ARE conditional. Healthy relationships ARE conditional based on mutual agreements, participation, reciprocity, personal values, and honesty. Work, romantic, family, or even neighborly relationships can't thrive without agreed boundaries. Relationship boundaries are required to build trust, create respect, ensure dignity, and nurture emotional safety that leads to sustainable intimacy between two people. Loving someone actually has very little to do with a functional relationship.
Come on now!!!!!!! When that happened I dipped so quick 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Love you but I'm not attached baby. I love me and I danced my way on out his life 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 😁
Somebody asked right for a year or two and they deserve a lifetime of love from you...? That hit hard. I remember when I was about 12 years old and my dad told me it takes years to get to know somebody. Until you know the real them, with no filters.
"Unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance. "
Thank you.
Hell naw
Bang on!!!!
Well put..!
Very well said!
Yes agreed I moved 1500 miles. Because I love myself MORE...
If only I could hit the like button 1000 times. The energy in your voice has done its work ❤
I have had a fraudulent relationship for 3 years, and this person has gaslighted, love bombed, emotionally drained me, and did all of the above to hurt me in the relationship and think I'm stuck to leave the situation.
I have no words for how great this is.
Yes
This is truth and real talk 💯‼️ You need to Love yourself more❤❤❤. Do not let your Love hold you hostage in a fraudulent, toxic, and unhealthy relationship/situation ship! Choose Peace and Yourself. Be empowered; you are worthy💟💟💟.
I APPRECIATE YOU ACE SPEAKING THE TRUTH!!!!!
I agree...in fact, the more I love you, the faster & easier it is for me to leave you...I can be rational with others & calculate what I am getting out of the equation with others but if I love, my heart is at stake...that's non negotiable...I will leave you as quickly as I realize you are not as invested or more & yes, because I love me & know my worth...I may love you from a distance but you don't get to indulge in that love...it's a garden...no watering no havest...simple
This happens because there is lack of worth and love for oneself. Took me many years but this is the answer. Thank you for addressing. This will help many people.
Said even if he is a soulmate or she is a soulmate love yourself
Amen. I have a friend here who does this and I'm seriously to the place where I am so done . Thank God I'm not afraid to leave. He works and never.comes home that's strange . He help with bills but there's nothing else. I already advised him were roommates only. I need some stuff in my house done. He doesn't realize once my house is fixed . He had lost everything he was companionate until began to work. His game isn't even tough I am focusing now on what God wants then I'm out.
I am leaving a situation where he is 60 years old and saying that. It is baffling to see grown people believe that if someone leaves them that means they do not love them. These people go on being terrible examples to the youth of today.
So well said. BANG ON!
So true...!
Hey this is where I'm looking for the 10 like ❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😉😉😉😉❤️❤️❤️🔥🔥🔥thumbs
I feel attacked 😂 I needed to hear this
Facts!!
Agreed 💯
Oh such truth!!!!!!
Manipulative lololol FACTS though Sir you right on target!!!
🗣️🗣️SPEAK PREACHER ✊🏾‼️‼️
Dropping Jewels my brother, my soon to be ex-husband turned into a totally monster and someone I didn't know he tricked me but I left
TALK YO ISH 🗣️🗣️
Excellent episode. My first time watching you. I LOVE the car metaphor. Will use that to TRY to talk some sense into my females smh. 2 females come to mind RAT NOW who I could send this episode too but they'd rather remain DUMB than to better themselves in these relationship strts but for those that are listening to you sir, thank you for being here! OH! But real quick, PLS don't say you need your "lip gloss" 😂 not a good look 😂 toodles for now!
I love him so much still. I left. I’m hurting but had to go .
Amen! Again!!!
Sad but so true. 😞
Preach
Amen
Love is a overrated word obviously nowadays but breaking news ain’t nothing after love so good luck finding whatever it means now
#BangBang 🔥🔥🔥
❤
All the trauma I experienced was from a man.
✅️🙌🏽👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
😭
Codepenence
Did you get a new chance friend did you wrong in change for you get a new life practice for 😢 save 🎉 on your birthday good having a cry only on your birthday this day more than once 🎉❤ from this day
YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!! My ex husband said I never loved him because I left...I told him no "I LOVE MYSELF MORE "
I agree 100 % with you, ....
Me too!!
I know that’s right sis!!! Me too. Love you from a looooooong distance!! Boy bye!! Threaten my life!! Won’t kill me! It’s been over 20 years🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️🏃🏿♀️. I’m out! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Me 3
Mine said the same thing. I just blocked him from everything.
Amen
I loved my husband deeply but got fed up with how poorly he treated me and so I decided to leave....but he didn't think I would leave because he know how much I loved him but I finally realized that I had to love me and choose me.
Bravo!
Im proud of you. That’s hard to do. Add kids and family it can end in disaster.
I am so grateful that this conversation is being had an brought up.
The day before yesterday I decided to walk away from a gentleman I was dating. I sincerely liked him ( a lot) and I was very interested.
However he has an avoidant attachment style paired with putting his career first.
No matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to get to truly know him, grow close to him, ask thought provoking questions as well as learn how to love him properly he wouldn’t allow me too.
Anytime there needed to be a serious conversation happen he wouldn’t acknowledge it, just listen to me without saying anything, start singing, or just be silent but never address anything that I stated.
It was hurtful. Not to mention his communication started to change and become off so I decided to walk away and let him know why.
It truly hurt me because I like him a lot but I had to let him go.
Too many times woman choose to stay when we need to leave because we think we won’t get better, we don’t want to be alone, or we care for someone.
However if our love/consideration is being taken advantage of or not recognized we need to leave.
Women need to stand on business and walk away. Hence why the narrative is women get praised from how much they take from men and staying through it.
That will not be me!’
They never believe that you will leave ❤
I love and left, I still love and I'm still gone. Because emotions aren't everything!
Yep. It took me a long time to learn this. It is completely fine and healthy to cut someone off and not hate them. If honesty, respect, and integrity exit so do I.
If you know these things for yourself but you still can't get out or stop this pattern, and the self-betrayal has hurt you over and over, you probably have childhood trauma that you haven't dealt with completely.
Men are not the start of this problem, your parents were. And, if you had to work to be seen with them, you're still working to be seen, meaning still trying to feel worthy of being seen, only men have replaced your parents as your primary person.
Remember, as children, parents are our primary people, or person, or, whatever adult raised us during our FORMative years. This becomes our lovers once we leave those people and our childhood home.
Your soul will continue to give you opportunities, meaning new relationships, to work this out. Self-love is the only answer and until you start gaining it, you can understand all of this intellectually, but that deep need to feel worthy will cause an attachment to other insecure people that will feel like an addiction. All it is is us saying to ourselves, "I may not have been able to make my parents love me, but I will not fail this time." See, it's not the particular man, it's you. You're choosing people who will make you work for their love, because your brain is actually wired where your internal belief about love, is that it is something that has to be earned. If the neurons in your brain are literally wired like this, you cannot just turn it off. So, while in these relationships, you can feel like, until you are successful at "winning over" a person who does not love nor respect you, you cannot feel worthy, but this is false. You can, you just have to admit to yourself that you don't actually like the person, understand that you have become temporarily, literally mentally ill, from dealing with self-betrayal, and that your focus should be on self as the one responsible for you being in this. Don't focus on the indecency of the other toxic individual that you've attracted, focus on why you're attracted to toxic people. This is even if you're still in the toxic relationship. You're not mad at them, they are literally interchangeable, you are mad at self, for being here again, and, with another person, who is indecent, when you already know better. Self betrayal is what won't let you rest.
Check out CPTSD. Childhood Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or ComplexPTSD. Just knowing that relationships trigger old childhood patterns of behavior, will give you so much empathy for yourself. But, you must constantly tell yourself the truth and be working to get out of a toxic relationship or to make sure you never enter another one. Gotta do the work no matter which category you fit into.
This is TOTALLY TRUE for Me. I finally figured this out and now doing the WORK ❤
Idk who you are jacy. I really wanna give a big thank you for writing this out . Literally read this everyday . Thank
You 🤍
Thank you
I wished someone talked to me like this during my childhood, it wouldve saved me a great deal of pain in my adult life . I wouldve been able to take heed to red flag signs and not saw them as imperfections that will get better in the long run .
My ex-husba6told people I never loved him. Dude!!!! I loved you for 30 years and you did the unthinkable to me. You was the only man I ever loved. It hurts still today. And the only thing I asked today is to leave me be. Stop with the mess!!!!!!
I am a man , and this hits me hard !!!!!!!. Ace , I thank you my brother 🙏. Loving her from a distance from this very moment onwards.
Not a good idea
I just got out of my toxic relationship 4 months ago and now he begging to come back nope
Nope, nope, nope, never.
"It's a dangerous thing when a person figures out you don't have the power to leave" OMG that is a POWER statement!!!
My ex blessed me by breaking up with me. It was the best gift he had given me in 2 years. 💯
Say it loud!!!!!!!!! You on here preaching!!!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
@Wanderful Rose God have sent a blessing to earth. Preach wisdom to women. So, women that are in toxic relationships can get out of those relationships. Message to women that are thriving in their dreams and goals to keep moving towards their end goals.
Can love you & walk away with smile
On my face 😁❤😁❤😁❤😁❤
When a person keeps belittling, hurting, manipulating, and cheating on you and then says they "love you" at the end, it is not an act of love, and it will be a repeat cycle if you don't get out!
I love your show has gotten me through my break up ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Never felt this way but there are people that think it shackles you to them!🙅🏾 Amen 🙏🏽
I luv him but I luv ME MORE 😁👍! Ladies, if you have to go to the battlefield and make a spectacle of yourself just to get his love and affection 🙄. Imagine what you'd have to do to keep his love and affection! After it's all said and done, you still never received what you see out to get in the first place. The reality is if he failed to see and acknowledge your value and worth then he is NOT your king! You shouldn't have to show him your "diamond" status...he should've seen it right off the bat. Don't allow any man to treat you like a piece of cubic zirc!!!!
If I could smash the like button a thousand times on this I would. Absolute truth. Thank you for this video.
When you continue to LIE, .... You will always LIE.
So True...my dad taught me that he never raised his voice toward me and never placed his hands on me always... protected, love and provided...that baby girl is your standard for men
Here is What I Tell Men "You dont have a spell on me, there is no certain amount of wowing me that makes me be here or make me Love you....Me Loving You is a CHOICE...MY CHOICE...So I can choose to Not and Leave!!!!! So keep taking Advantage of something that's not yours and see how far it take you
Accceeee....you are heaven sent! I'm married and going through this! I struggle between my religion and getting divorced. I need so much help. But your videos give me hope.
Have you shown him Ace just send him one of aces shorts then leave
@@lisa196409 oh no honey...that's the quickest way to make a narcissist go off! I'll leave in peace!
I know this is late, but I hope you are doing well! Whatever you decided on, I hope you made the BEST decision regarding your mental health & PEACE! Don't let anyone take those things away from you no matter what religion you're in or what you believe! Blessings to you love! ❤🙏
@Erica Belcher hi sweetheart...I ended up getting the strength to divorce him. He was abusive in so many ways. Our divorce will be finalized in a month
@Erica Belcher and thank you for your empathize may God bless you, and I wish you well in this journey we call life
Yes, I am able to leave you and do not want anything you can keep that alleged heart.
Never let your time, effort, and love be taken for granted❤
So true facts
Yes! Love thyself! Even if it was so hard to say goodbye, and I will always love you! But I picked me now first! You are 💯 he was lying the first night. I left 3 weeks ago! It's painful but WORTH IT. LET GO and do you!
Love your longer sessions. Preach! I have already - been - to - church!! Woohoo!
1. I just opened the door to loving me! Being my fill, my best friend!
2. Don’t have to love forever!
3. Ready to be alone
This real talk..❤❤❤
I have left a *few* people that I either loved or was IN love with. In the words of Robin Harris, “Gotta go, gotta GO!” ✌🏾
No gas, no movement!!!!
Beep beep put gas in me we rolling!!!!!!!! Omggggggggggg your on point
you're amazing and wise.... thank you AGAIN for your encouragement and wisdom....
Bro you preaching and teaching
Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Biblically we are called to love unconditionally, love should not be conditional! Read 1st Corinthians! Never put expectations on love, but everything else I agree with!
Love should be a commitment not a feeling , 2% of it should be a feeling or 0.5, I picked a lot from this video
Why am I just finding you?! Lol TELL IT! This is me now after realizing people will tell you anything, in order to hold you in place.
Absolutely 4Sho! 🔥
Veni Vidi Vici. (I came. I saw. I conquered.) That was my life motto starting in high school. Thank you for that reminder! ❤️❤️❤️
ace u are my favorite n u helped make me stronger n i salute u
I hope you practice what you preach because you soooo right!!
Every freakin problem mi have inna life is really and truly seated at a man fi true. Real chat mi G
Love & relationships are two different things.
Love is unconditional but relationships ARE NOT, nor should they be.
You can love someone deeply and NOT be able to have a healthy relationship with them. Relationships ARE conditional.
Healthy relationships ARE conditional based on mutual agreements, participation, reciprocity, personal values, and honesty. Work, romantic, family, or even neighborly relationships can't thrive without agreed boundaries.
Relationship boundaries are required to build trust, create respect, ensure dignity, and nurture emotional safety that leads to sustainable intimacy between two people. Loving someone actually has very little to do with a functional relationship.
Yaaassss!!! Men stay taking about picking right like these men don't present us with their phony representative. Glad I am over this stuff.
What's crazy is even when I warn mofos... they try me. Smh
I healed myself with Jesus alone🙏🏽
ACE, U're always on point, and I've learned from you. 👏🏽✌🏽👊🏽⚘️👌🏽👍🏽👋🏽 🌻🙌🏽😇🙏🏽
Come on now!!!!!!! When that happened I dipped so quick 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Love you but I'm not attached baby. I love me and I danced my way on out his life 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾 😁
The second I feel u don't appreciate ..n.............take me for granted I'm on my George Jetson shyyytt...Toodles..........I luv me more..
I had no choice but to leave. Now, any red flags, I gotta leave. I fell in love with who I met. Who I ended up with was a masked up decoy.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
That's right!
My love is like a car…and I need some love gas juice to keep going 😂😂😂😂
Ok, love you from a distance ❤️
Somebody asked right for a year or two and they deserve a lifetime of love from you...? That hit hard. I remember when I was about 12 years old and my dad told me it takes years to get to know somebody. Until you know the real them, with no filters.
I'm in one for 8 years
I been to myself so long I forgot what being in love feels like.
Just because im loyal doesn't mean im loyal to b.s
Thanks you so much you talking to people really helps open our eyes to the truth thanks keep up the good work
So so True. As they say in Church..."GOOD WORD"!....❤
Your back! I hope your tour went well! Thank you 🙏🏽 for all you do with your meaningful and inspirational advice. 🔥💯
I left & took my ❤..
Sucks to be them..
Love is a four letter word.😂
This was a whole motivational speech.