Having watched multiple videos of yours now from time to time, I have come to the conclusion that practicing manipulative behavior to control women is the typical standard of practice. I will have to respectfully decline such a relationship on the sole basis that it would be completely exhausting both mentally and emotionally. Thank to God that there are men out there not like this, men who actually respect women in all ways and appreciate the reciprocation in kind that is returned out of that mutual respect.
Manipulation and games are typically associated with relationships outside of marriage, and I agree with you that playing such games can be exhausting, especially when you find yourself in a situation you didn't sign up for. There are indeed many men who value and respect women in all aspects, and these are the kind of men that every serious woman should aspire to be with. I appreciate your input and hope you find content that aligns more with your values and beliefs.
Is it wrong to have multiple children? You cannot possibly feel exactly the same toward all of them. I think this is not so simple and I think we should open our minds and try to understand others without judging. In the Old Testament, Sarah was childless and made Hagar available to Abraham. How is that different?
How do all wives have the same status when you say there is no way you can sentimentally be the same with all of them? That's my point. When you LOVE someone, that person is your EVERYTHING as a partner and that person is the MOST SPECIAL to you. How can you have more that one MOST SPECIAL person? By the way, if husbands don't fulfill their duties, shouldn't the wives also be allowed to marry another man, like a widower, let's say? Just to prove the other side, that there are men who don't fulfill their duties.
In terms of status, the principle is that all wives are treated equally. A husband should approach each wife without displaying any preference, but God knows our innermost thoughts and feelings. He sees into the depths of our souls, which is why He acknowledges that complete fairness won't be possible. However, externally, the goal is to treat all wives alike. Regarding the concept of wives marrying multiple men, Islam does not permit it. II think we can acknowledge the distinct psychological and physiological differences between men and women. These distinctions are why such a scenario isn't feasible. Identifying the father becomes complicated, and the realities of childbirth and physical differences also play a crucial role. Additionally, there is scientific proof of potential diseases that can arise from mixing different sperms in a woman's womb. This is something we have come to understand only recently, and it makes us ponder what else is yet to be uncovered about the consequences of women sleeping with multiple men. Lastly, on your point about a husband not fulfilling his duties, open communication should be the initial step to address the problem. If this doesn't work, divorce is a potential solution. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@@Fuadtalks Thanks for your thoughts. I like the way you formulate your arguments. Could you please share some resources, where it says that mixing different sperms in a woman's womb can lead to potential diseases? As to wives' status being the same, it cannot be achieved, since you cannot love them the same. Further, when a man does not fulfill his duties we are not allowed to divorce. We have to pray and keep working on the relationship. Cheating, beating, poisoning etc. would be reasons for an acceptable divorce. In Christianity divorce does not come just from not fulfilling duties.
How can you have more than one child? Is that wrong? You can't possibly feel exactly the same way about all of them, right? I can speak to this from a personal level. I was married and though my background was Christian, I was living in a Middle Eastern country and leaning hard toward becoming Muslim. My Muslim husband and I had very dear friends who were also a married couple. The four of us loved doing things together. My husband died. This left me alone with a small child. The husband of this couple felt that he wanted to protect me. I found myself in a situation with the three of us together and him telling the two of us that he loved both of us. Strangely, it didn't seem strange, because I think we both knew he had these strong protective feelings and he knew how difficult my situation was. We remained separate, but because of this situation I can understand how this can happen and how it can work and I have always known that my husband's family and this man, up until he passed, would always have been there to help me if I needed it.
The only real freedom is financial freedom. I believe as long as the woman has the means to support herself she will be much less likely to accept to be a 2nd wife. If my husband (Egyptian) did something stupid like this, I would cry, kick his ... , cry some more and carry on with my life.
How would Arab people look at the woman who divorced her man because he was drinking too much alcohol ans was mentally abusive towards her? Should not the society support the woman’s decission to divorce?
Plus as an American around a lottttt of Arabic cultures 50 years My opinion is it also depends on which Arabic culture- Chaldeon, Syrian, Jordanian, lebanese, Sudan, Afgan, Turkey on and on. My USA arabic friends old and young Sunni and Shiite don't believe in multiple wives at all. They laugh and not a jokey laugh but say " thats old way thinking " type laugh as I have asked them respectfully. Now My Sudanese friend " A" was married to " H" 34 years right out of university they were / are family too me in addition to my other Arabic families " my heart my soul's ". Ok so they had 1 son Abdullah who horribly died age 27 while visiting them he was a good guy. This grief broke up the love the 34 years. Both are quite hot headed ( try watching 2 hot heads scream at each other in Arabic fast- run for the hills!). As it was told to me as my girl " A" who was very sick 3 years - very. Unable to perform her wife duties/ ... ahem...she was 60 he was 65. He arrange for second wife while " A" was in Eqypt visiting her family and he arranged a 20 year old to marry him in . Despite being verrrrry strict Muslims " Sufi" this angered my friend to no end . The husband was like your too old your this your that we are done ! My sweet, loving VERY pray 5x very big muslim friend who would give you the shirt off her ( America was nothing but disaster for them they used to work for UN Refugees and then everything went wrong)ok so my friend didn't take this second wife good. Plus he was gonna have #2 live with them. Remember these are 2 elderly people. Despite being terminal my friend cook the dinner and pour it all over his head " Diane "H" is still picking cheese out of his hair 2 weeks later". This is a extremely strict Muslim. Then Im sitting in their room watching tv with her , he comes home a verbal fight starts. Im no dummy I understand alittle arabic and shes shouting Shut up! every time he mentions new wife - this with her Oxygen tubes in her nose ( my angel passed away June 17 buried in American muslim society grave area). Finally a man neighbor broke up the fight. He is still at his house my sweet sudan sister is with her son now) he is still family to me but he gave up that second wife idea , granted " H" has alot of health pbms. but sometimes in an Arab household the woman wins! Mostly I see teasing about this between arabs " babyyyy im gonna get a second wink wink".
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. Our differences extend not only across various Muslim communities but also as unique individuals. While differences in interpretation can occur, particularly when it comes to religious matters, some aspects of our faith are crystal clear and leave no room for doubt. Thank you for contributing to the discussion.
I think in these days relationships or marriages are viewed as a fantasy or fairy tale like romances. Whilest it's so much more serious and complex, just like a contract you'll have a ton of responsibilities, be that in the role of the man or the role of the woman. And we tend to not think about those things, only the happiness, which is just part of it and can only be achieved if we do all the hard tasks, building the whole thing on communication. If one responsibility is not filled, the relationship could fail. That s why it is important to know how to keep that balance to maintain the connection between the spouses. Before we judge the topic we have to be aware that the 2 genders are different. As a woman it s hard to think about why men wants to have more wives, as we re only capable of loving one man. But men can love more women and provide for them, if it s within their capability. And I think it s priceless if he s willing to tell you openly about wanting another woman. The thing is, maybe not every man but most of them would lie if they said they are not interested in polygamy. Be open and fair about it and also being religious, you know that this is a good man. Any honey strings and sweet words are the only cases of manipulation. Of course it will be harder for him and you too, because not only you have to maintain your own relationship, but you ll be responsible for your sister wife too as she s the part of your family now. It's like sailing a boat together, where everyone has their choires. You must be mature and leave all your toxic qualities behind, by praying you can achieve that. Just ignoring jealousy and selfishness striving to have a simple life, simple things. And no secrets, no games, just clear pure communication. If we think about it, it's not so much different from a monogamous relationship, it's a level up more difficult and more easy if it's done the right way. Just in todays living different ideologyes and emotions are make it impossible and debatable, whilest it's one of the clearest and most honest way of solving society's problems.
Dating multiple man or woman doesn't mean to sleep around with them. What if you just want to have many options and see which fits you the best? What do you think about dating multiple man and NOT sleeping with them?
There’s a lot here, I think the topic is very rich and while you seem supportive of the Muslim paradigm, curiously you are at the same time dismissive of the perspective of “polyamorous” people in “the West.” 12:30 What makes that way any more degenerate or hedonistic than the Muslim way, especially as it is becoming more and more socially accepted? Doesn’t seem like the fall of society, rather seems to be becoming a part of it. It’s not like Muslims aren’t having affairs outside marriage anyways and aren’t being dishonest about it. At least polyamorous people to some extent try to be honest and open about their non-monogamy rather than obscure it and lead to awkward dynamics. I never understood polygyny as anything other than having multiple wives, not necessarily good nor bad for anyone involved. There will always be people who will accept abusive relationships and others who will not. Polygynous relationships are not necessarily abusive but are also not necessarily a good thing either from what I can tell. Muslims often say that the law of a man having four wives and a woman only having one husband should be preserved and respected where many non-Muslims disagree and might even go so far as to call such an arrangement abusive. The limit of four seems arbitrary but the dynamic doesn’t seem inherently any more abusive than a standard Western monogamous dynamic, on the surface at least.
I have been discussing it with one friend in Middle East. We are both already little older than 30.😊 We agreed both that with the experience we made in our life we do understand more this concept. In certain stage of your life, you might not want to see your husband every day.
Having watched multiple videos of yours now from time to time, I have come to the conclusion that practicing manipulative behavior to control women is the typical standard of practice. I will have to respectfully decline such a relationship on the sole basis that it would be completely exhausting both mentally and emotionally. Thank to God that there are men out there not like this, men who actually respect women in all ways and appreciate the reciprocation in kind that is returned out of that mutual respect.
Manipulation and games are typically associated with relationships outside of marriage, and I agree with you that playing such games can be exhausting, especially when you find yourself in a situation you didn't sign up for. There are indeed many men who value and respect women in all aspects, and these are the kind of men that every serious woman should aspire to be with. I appreciate your input and hope you find content that aligns more with your values and beliefs.
Is it wrong to have multiple children? You cannot possibly feel exactly the same toward all of them. I think this is not so simple and I think we should open our minds and try to understand others without judging. In the Old Testament, Sarah was childless and made Hagar available to Abraham. How is that different?
How do all wives have the same status when you say there is no way you can sentimentally be the same with all of them? That's my point. When you LOVE someone, that person is your EVERYTHING as a partner and that person is the MOST SPECIAL to you. How can you have more that one MOST SPECIAL person? By the way, if husbands don't fulfill their duties, shouldn't the wives also be allowed to marry another man, like a widower, let's say? Just to prove the other side, that there are men who don't fulfill their duties.
In terms of status, the principle is that all wives are treated equally. A husband should approach each wife without displaying any preference, but God knows our innermost thoughts and feelings. He sees into the depths of our souls, which is why He acknowledges that complete fairness won't be possible. However, externally, the goal is to treat all wives alike.
Regarding the concept of wives marrying multiple men, Islam does not permit it. II think we can acknowledge the distinct psychological and physiological differences between men and women. These distinctions are why such a scenario isn't feasible. Identifying the father becomes complicated, and the realities of childbirth and physical differences also play a crucial role. Additionally, there is scientific proof of potential diseases that can arise from mixing different sperms in a woman's womb. This is something we have come to understand only recently, and it makes us ponder what else is yet to be uncovered about the consequences of women sleeping with multiple men.
Lastly, on your point about a husband not fulfilling his duties, open communication should be the initial step to address the problem. If this doesn't work, divorce is a potential solution.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
@@Fuadtalks Thanks for your thoughts. I like the way you formulate your arguments. Could you please share some resources, where it says that mixing different sperms in a woman's womb can lead to potential diseases? As to wives' status being the same, it cannot be achieved, since you cannot love them the same. Further, when a man does not fulfill his duties we are not allowed to divorce. We have to pray and keep working on the relationship. Cheating, beating, poisoning etc. would be reasons for an acceptable divorce. In Christianity divorce does not come just from not fulfilling duties.
How can you have more than one child? Is that wrong? You can't possibly feel exactly the same way about all of them, right?
I can speak to this from a personal level. I was married and though my background was Christian, I was living in a Middle Eastern country and leaning hard toward becoming Muslim. My Muslim husband and I had very dear friends who were also a married couple. The four of us loved doing things together. My husband died. This left me alone with a small child. The husband of this couple felt that he wanted to protect me. I found myself in a situation with the three of us together and him telling the two of us that he loved both of us. Strangely, it didn't seem strange, because I think we both knew he had these strong protective feelings and he knew how difficult my situation was. We remained separate, but because of this situation I can understand how this can happen and how it can work and I have always known that my husband's family and this man, up until he passed, would always have been there to help me if I needed it.
I have a question. You said that people will ask why a woman got divorced. Would they not also ask why a man got divorced?
Thanks for the video. Would be interesting if you make a video about popular Arabic phrases to know for daily use 😊❤
How would you feel about one of your wives having multiple husbands as you say is fine with men having multiple wives?
The only real freedom is financial freedom. I believe as long as the woman has the means to support herself she will be much less likely to accept to be a 2nd wife. If my husband (Egyptian) did something stupid like this, I would cry, kick his ... , cry some more and carry on with my life.
Well presented and made good arguments. I definitely have a different perspective now on the whole subject. Thank you.
Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate that! 🙏
How would Arab people look at the woman who divorced her man because he was drinking too much alcohol ans was mentally abusive towards her? Should not the society support the woman’s decission to divorce?
You are so good! Brilliant presentation..
Thank you!
@@Fuadtalks BTW I got a really good one making it easy to change my tone thanks for the advice
Plus as an American around a lottttt of Arabic cultures 50 years My opinion is it also depends on which Arabic culture- Chaldeon, Syrian, Jordanian, lebanese, Sudan, Afgan, Turkey on and on. My USA arabic friends old and young Sunni and Shiite don't believe in multiple wives at all. They laugh and not a jokey laugh but say " thats old way thinking " type laugh as I have asked them respectfully. Now My Sudanese friend " A" was married to " H" 34 years right out of university they were / are family too me in addition to my other Arabic families " my heart my soul's ". Ok so they had 1 son Abdullah who horribly died age 27 while visiting them he was a good guy. This grief broke up the love the 34 years. Both are quite hot headed ( try watching 2 hot heads scream at each other in Arabic fast- run for the hills!). As it was told to me as my girl " A" who was very sick 3 years - very. Unable to perform her wife duties/ ... ahem...she was 60 he was 65. He arrange for second wife while " A" was in Eqypt visiting her family and he arranged a 20 year old to marry him in . Despite being verrrrry strict Muslims " Sufi" this angered my friend to no end . The husband was like your too old your this your that we are done ! My sweet, loving VERY pray 5x very big muslim friend who would give you the shirt off her ( America was nothing but disaster for them they used to work for UN Refugees and then everything went wrong)ok so my friend didn't take this second wife good. Plus he was gonna have #2 live with them. Remember these are 2 elderly people. Despite being terminal my friend cook the dinner and pour it all over his head " Diane "H" is still picking cheese out of his hair 2 weeks later". This is a extremely strict Muslim. Then Im sitting in their room watching tv with her , he comes home a verbal fight starts. Im no dummy I understand alittle arabic and shes shouting Shut up! every time he mentions new wife - this with her Oxygen tubes in her nose ( my angel passed away June 17 buried in American muslim society grave area). Finally a man neighbor broke up the fight. He is still at his house my sweet sudan sister is with her son now) he is still family to me but he gave up that second wife idea , granted " H" has alot of health pbms. but sometimes in an Arab household the woman wins! Mostly I see teasing about this between arabs " babyyyy im gonna get a second wink wink".
Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. Our differences extend not only across various Muslim communities but also as unique individuals. While differences in interpretation can occur, particularly when it comes to religious matters, some aspects of our faith are crystal clear and leave no room for doubt. Thank you for contributing to the discussion.
@@Fuadtalks Always my pleasure!
I think in these days relationships or marriages are viewed as a fantasy or fairy tale like romances. Whilest it's so much more serious and complex, just like a contract you'll have a ton of responsibilities, be that in the role of the man or the role of the woman. And we tend to not think about those things, only the happiness, which is just part of it and can only be achieved if we do all the hard tasks, building the whole thing on communication. If one responsibility is not filled, the relationship could fail. That s why it is important to know how to keep that balance to maintain the connection between the spouses.
Before we judge the topic we have to be aware that the 2 genders are different. As a woman it s hard to think about why men wants to have more wives, as we re only capable of loving one man. But men can love more women and provide for them, if it s within their capability. And I think it s priceless if he s willing to tell you openly about wanting another woman. The thing is, maybe not every man but most of them would lie if they said they are not interested in polygamy. Be open and fair about it and also being religious, you know that this is a good man. Any honey strings and sweet words are the only cases of manipulation.
Of course it will be harder for him and you too, because not only you have to maintain your own relationship, but you ll be responsible for your sister wife too as she s the part of your family now. It's like sailing a boat together, where everyone has their choires. You must be mature and leave all your toxic qualities behind, by praying you can achieve that. Just ignoring jealousy and selfishness striving to have a simple life, simple things. And no secrets, no games, just clear pure communication. If we think about it, it's not so much different from a monogamous relationship, it's a level up more difficult and more easy if it's done the right way.
Just in todays living different ideologyes and emotions are make it impossible and debatable, whilest it's one of the clearest and most honest way of solving society's problems.
Dating multiple man or woman doesn't mean to sleep around with them. What if you just want to have many options and see which fits you the best? What do you think about dating multiple man and NOT sleeping with them?
There’s a lot here, I think the topic is very rich and while you seem supportive of the Muslim paradigm, curiously you are at the same time dismissive of the perspective of “polyamorous” people in “the West.” 12:30 What makes that way any more degenerate or hedonistic than the Muslim way, especially as it is becoming more and more socially accepted? Doesn’t seem like the fall of society, rather seems to be becoming a part of it. It’s not like Muslims aren’t having affairs outside marriage anyways and aren’t being dishonest about it. At least polyamorous people to some extent try to be honest and open about their non-monogamy rather than obscure it and lead to awkward dynamics.
I never understood polygyny as anything other than having multiple wives, not necessarily good nor bad for anyone involved. There will always be people who will accept abusive relationships and others who will not. Polygynous relationships are not necessarily abusive but are also not necessarily a good thing either from what I can tell.
Muslims often say that the law of a man having four wives and a woman only having one husband should be preserved and respected where many non-Muslims disagree and might even go so far as to call such an arrangement abusive. The limit of four seems arbitrary but the dynamic doesn’t seem inherently any more abusive than a standard Western monogamous dynamic, on the surface at least.
Would you accept marrying a man if he is already married?
It depends, I want to have my husband for myself... But as you said only allah knows our life, and maybe it would need to happen.
No never
But I have a question, what if I am not a virgin and I am a muslim who converted from Christianity? Won't men want to marry me?
No! I dont share my man. Not to mention eeewwww gross I dont want my husband to be visiting other neighbors !
Never. Let me spell it for you: N E V E R.
This would never work for me. But I respect if this is something the woman chose herself and not for imposition. This has to be a choice.
I have been discussing it with one friend in Middle East. We are both already little older than 30.😊 We agreed both that with the experience we made in our life we do understand more this concept.
In certain stage of your life, you might not want to see your husband every day.