WARNING: The Truth Behind Lasting Middle Eastern Marriages
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- #marriage #love #arab #relationships #middleeast
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Hey everyone! Welcome back.
In today's video, I want to address some of the misconceptions I've come across while discussing the Middle East. My goal here is to shed light on these misconceptions and help you understand why they can be destructive to your kids, families, and relationships with your spouses.
Throughout this video, I'll be exploring the pillars that make a Middle Eastern marriage more rigid, and I'll discuss how women can become vulnerable to malicious ideas that have nothing to do with constructive thinking.
This message is particularly important for single women who still believe that a woman does need a man, and it is good to be loved and taken care of as a woman; to the women who believe that a man and a woman are biologically different; to the women who still believe that a woman cannot be like a man, and there is nothing valuable that comes from women imitating a man; to the women who know and believe that a woman has an important role in society and the family that is unique to her as a woman; and to the women who know that a man complements a woman, and a woman complements a man, and they are both unique and vital in their own ways.
I hope this video serves as a reminder or an eye-opener, helping you keep your mind clear from the pollution of misinformation that sometimes circulates among the women you meet, as well as through what you read, hear, and see in the media.
Thanks for watching!
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This video might answer the following questions:
- Are men and women the same?
- Can a woman beat a man?
- Are women victims?
- Are women oppressed?
- Are Arab men oppressing their women?
- Are women enslaved in the Arab world?
- Are mothers who love their kids happy?
- Is it okay to love and care for my husband?
- Is it okay to dress modestly in 2023?
- Do I need a therapist if I wake up unhappy?
- Should I divorce my husband if he doesn't clean the house with me?
- Is it normal to face challenges in marriage and try to navigate through them?
I am from the US and just married an amazing Arab man and you have helped me so much to understand the culture and be able to be a good wife to him.
Congratulations on your marriage, Victoria! Very glad to hear that!
Can you talk about the culture of Middle Eastern men having multiple wives. It seems to be very common and often behind the back of their wife.
yes please do, lol
Its a matter of cultures and it's unfair to judge who is happy or not.
I know feminists who are happy because they believe in their ideologies and if they don't want a family its their business. Yes I agree that some of them try to impose their ideologies.
Western people may sound feminists because in the west there are no dominastions. Men and women are equal and they decide things together. This cultural difference is a religious one and would not say Middle Eastern people because there are Middle Eastern people who are not Muslims and are not bound with Islamic rules.
If a couple both work what's wrong with the man doing housework? The problems in the west and why many marriages are failing is more related to the loss of certain values which are still valued with Muslims.
In my opinion, after dating a mid-Eastern man, the thing that bothers me is the expectation that I do the domestic work. As a woman who also earns income, that is a problem for me. I believe every couple should find the balance that works for them. It's nice when a man provides financially and the woman provides the nurturing or caring tasks (sometimes called slavery, haha), but in a way a man obligated to provide money is also a slave. It goes both ways. It's also true that in some Islamic societies, women don't necessarily get to choose what they do with their talents and capacities. They default to nurturing the children and caring for the home, sometimes doing side jobs to supplement her husband's income. Haha so it's not easy answer. Let's all relax our rigid beliefs and find solutions in every couple. That's what I would do.
I appreciate your thoughts on that. You are right; even the man going to work is a kind of slavery. Therefore, it is irrational to consider the slaving of your time away as a privilege. Either women are just automatically believing these ideas without thinking them through, or they think them through and want everyone to be on the same boat. Our women are welcome to go to work if they want to, but they also have the choice to stay at home.
But the question is, do women in many Western countries have the choice and luxury to stay at home? Many don't. And even if they do, they would be looking at themselves as less than the women who go to work and are independent. Because society wants her to believe that if she stays at home, she is inferior to the boss babes who join the workforce, these boss babes are glorified across all the media. The ramifications of these ideas are not yet very visible in Western countries, but they will become apparent in the upcoming years. Just to add on that, during the cold war, Western media used to highlight the difference between the happy American housewife and the oppressed poor Russian factory worker. Now, the media and the people who control it have changed the narratives, and women unquestionably adopted that.
Families are the main unit of societies, and if a woman has negative thoughts about her role in the house and family structure, then I'm not surprised why divorce rates are going through the roof. Women are forging families thinking that they are equal to men just because they work and have a wage. Thankfully, our societies are flourishing. Despite not being economically prosperous, our families are leading prosperous lives and ensuring the continuation of our culture and existence as a civilized society.
The majority of our women have the luxury of staying at home. The man will put in the hours for the comfort of his family, doing everything necessary to prevent putting his family in need. He will not send his wife to work unless it is genuinely necessary. These narratives that label our women as oppressed often overlook the choices and freedoms many of them have. I wish you a happy life, and I hope that everyone who comes across any ideas of this sort questions their hidden intentions before adapting them. What are the benefits? You ask. The answer: "You get to work, earn money, and be independent." "OK, that's nice." And that way, you don't even question if going to work is something you genuinely and deeply want.
@@Fuadtalks I think this is a very interesting topic! I do agree that having lived with traditional muslim families, I can see how beneficial it is to have a mother who does the shopping for fresh food and prepares homemade meals every day for her family. I also see the benefit of her having her time at home in the company of other women (when they have free time to hang out) as very beneficial to her wellbeing. These are two elements that are lacking in general in western households and families. I just remember looking around in Morocco and genuinely wondering how many of the women doing the shopping and cleaning daily for the home actually had both options available- have job outside home that she's interested in or be a homemaker. I don't think that it's good that a woman be placed in one or the other. I agree with you that western women have some kind of resistance or refusal to consider being a homemaker, because it might be rewarding for some. America in general (that's my country) wants to succeed and get money so many women are scared of living with one salary and many households would struggle to raise a family on one american salary. We are much more "single family" minded less community minded than muslim/old world collectivist societies. There are so many structural differences it's difficult to name them all! But I will stand by my original theory that every household and couple should find the occupations that make both spouses feel good about themselves.
@@Fuadtalks Ironically, my new Jordanian husband gave me the option to not work. I just feel bad about the vehicles I bought with loans before marriage. I raised 4 kids working multiple jobs at once by myself after my ex-husband was run off through the combined efforts of my family and his due to how he treated us. It's hard to de-program yourself into a better way of life than what's drilled into you in the US. ...especially when you've been working since you were 14 and former Army. I think talking over my life experiences I see that it wasn't his view of what the US is like. I'd come to accept everything from when I grew up on, but his statement asking if I really thought that it was right has really stuck. Based on my experiences, it's not about being equal. It's more about the trauma that US women face in their lives. It's that dirty little secret you aren't supposed to talk about. I'm referring to the prevalence of sexual violence, homelessness, poverty, physical abuse, familial alcoholism, neglect and more. It's about projecting a false facade of being strong to protect yourself. When you are programmed to ignore and accept the bad in your life and drive on, it's difficult not to see that within other ways of life. I've especially seen with my youngest daughter how negativity schools react to wearing more modest clothes and not wanting others to see her hair. She literally got a 3 day out of school suspension for wanting to uncover her hair. Teachers would hound her about putting her hair down and say she's too tall and weighs too much, despite being skinny for her height. She wanted to be part of swim team, but they wouldn't permit her to not wear a skimpy school issued swimsuit or cover it with a top and pants. So much of the school environment pushes immodesty and playing date starting in kindergarten that it's gone completely out of control. Her body, her choice doesn't seem to apply to modesty.
I agree with what you are saying❤
I think that probably the fact the Arab men will be fathers to their children is another reason. Many men in the west, most that I have met, are not interested in traditional ways and actually parenting their children. I think that is something that stuck out to me when I met the man I am talking with. It is sad how many absent fathers there are in the US 🥲 But the muslim arabs will love and cherish their wives and children 😍
You are right. But I think a person can be a slave no matter if they are married or not. For example a person who is exploited at work and is not respected, turns out to be a slave. Also, if a woman is not respected as a wife by her man, can turn out to be a slave. Alternatively, if you work on what you love, you will not be slave, and if you are appreciated as a person in the marriage you will not be a slave. It's not one or the other, both situations can be slavery depending on the behaviour someone receives.
Some women choose to be wives and raise their children and they are not slaves because they love what they do and they are appreciated for their job. Also, other women choose to work on what they love and they are not slaves as long as they are appreciated for their job too.
Valid points, friend. The feeling of being a 'slave' is subjective and can vary depending on a woman's emotional connection with her man. When she's in harmony with her man, what might seem like 'slavery' to others can feel like a genuine act of love to her. However, during disagreements (which are normal in a marriage), certain actions might still be perceived by others as 'slavery,' yet now, she may start questioning the accuracy of their perceptions.
Ultimately, I believe the key lies in choosing the right husband, and it would be wise to involve the wisdom of the father in vetting the man before marriage. Additionally, since mismatches can still occur, it is better to take the time to know each other before having kids. This way, if a woman realizes that certain aspects are lacking in the relationship, such as respect, and it is beyond repair, she can make the decision to seek a divorce. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I actually know some of those "miserable" feminist women, and it's very sad: they make their own schedule, travel the world, make money and have young lovers. It really is a terrible life compared to those women who can't go out in public without a headscarf, have to obey their husbands, make them happy and are basically baby-machines - you see it in their faces (if you are allowed to look at their faces) how remarkably happy they are.
Sorry but you are invading their privacy, it shouldn't be anybodies business how they live.
Wow the video looks great
Little more to 1000 Subscribes .... I am really learning a lot from you Fuad .
I respect obey listen snd are communication love for him his family is very important to me but also space for him to do his things clean mind us clean heart whats ours is for his family too even if not married yet
Spot on 👏👏👏👏
A lot of the Middle Eastern woman make themselves happy before they make anyone else happy. Because that is what it takes now a days. I know a few I think the middle eastern culture is beautiful. And I miss my Lebanese man so bad wish I never gave him up 23 years ago. 😢 I had to get rid of a lot of negative people and still have to work on myself before making someone else happy.
100% can't pour from an empty cup! Thanks for the insight.
So true Fuad.
UAE men are the most beautiful men in the world. Mashallah ❤❤❤❤
Omanis also look very good. Always top clean, shaved. And they are real gentleman.
I dont like the idea of someone being around the dating couple while they go on a date.
I’ve never heard of a ‘career shower’. Interesting.
If a man wants hus wife stay home look after house and there is nothing wrong
Long lasting marriages ? Women virginity.