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Narcissists expect you to be hurt when it's over
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- Опубліковано 9 чер 2024
- Narcissist DO NOT EXPECT you to move on fast after the breakup. Narcissistic people think they are the best you're going to get and they don't think you should be able to move on fast. they expect you to wallow in grief and miss them dearly.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
Website - www.mentalhealness.net
1 on 1's and all my links - beacons.page/mentalhealness
Weekly Newsletter - subscribepage.io/mentalhealness
Thank you so much
Not broken at all just really disappointed
1000%!!
You're lucky!! I had to unbreak myself for a while. Finally feeling better after three years. 🙂 I love my dog!!!
Same disappointed n meant many yrs invested ... very hurt 😞 at the same time
Yes, the disappointment can be soul-crushing. There's really no quick way through this, I've found, but it does help me to practice radical acceptance daily. It's only been a few weeks since I've been out, but I believe I'll meet an authentic person someday in whom I can share my life 💓In the meantime, there's lots of not so disappointing people in which we can connect to. I'm hoping you have some of those souls in your life
Yes!!!!!
they really do think this nonsense. After I went no contact for so long that he realized I was serious, he sent a text saying "you'll be back because I know you love talking to me' . That gave me fuel to stick to this. The arrogance and narcissism is so obvious once you take yourself out of that mess you can''t believe you dealt with it. Sad to say that I'm getting joy in him seeing that he was wrong because I'm never going back.
😂😅
He was the most: most dull, most mean, most lousy lover, most rotten husband. Do I miss him? Hell no!!
I’m single but not because I’m heartbroken over him, I’m just healing from the chaos, confusion, and destruction that he decided to incite upon me since he’s allowing the devil to use him as an instrument of deception. If he thinks he’s the best I can do, well….thanks for that laugh lmfaoooooo. 😂
As soon as you’re up to it, go and get yourself a date. Finding a guy friend to talk and hang with after a narcissistic relationship can be super therapeutic 😉
The peace I'm experiencing since he's been out of my life is unmatched. He's spiraling because he has no access to me. Idgaf what he's doing, who he's doing, or where he's doing it. The best thing that came from this nonsense is my peace.
fukin brilliant sis im the same honey its been 3 years ago now for me...this disgusting narc ghost me sneaked bk to his wife behind my back plus he was sleeping with her and other options said his marriage was dead 😂 no its open marriage to the public 😂😂. seemingly he is fxxxxx everything and every one raging at me because I put my boundaries up him and his wife did a smear campaign gossiping about me and sent me black magic death spells evil eye hexes vooodoo mind control spells tried to set me up for the jail too OMFG. .just this minute got a fake account sent to me just there fa him on Facebook hes fukin got hundreds of fake accounts my name my daughter's name my friends name its weird chin up good luck 🤞
Mine straight told me those words “I’m the best you will ever have.” lol delusional people.
Don’t fall for the Hoover. Stay the course! ⛵️
Beware!!! The Reverse Hoover 😱😱😱
😅 He is lying to himself I'm the best he will ever have! Not broken got better!
Bing0
I miss being treated and discarded like trash. I miss the gaslighting and triangulation. I miss being (unwillingly) in a competition that I have no chance of winning because they do not play fair. They're soo delusional it's hilarious 😂
😂 so true.. they are soooo arrogant. Mine told me I need a “ nixxa like him” they are entitled and what u do for them they feel u should
He didn't deserve me but his silence killed me, made me go crazy. He moved on so fast, but I knew she'd meet the same date one day, so I was cool with him moving on. Once I knew his game I moved on. I met my new man who is beyond amazing to me
I got him arrested for the last attack. In that time I changed location, all details, deleted all social media, filed for divorce and have started a new life for me and my son. Not broken, just healing and feeling blessed everyday now 🙏 NC 4 months after 5 years of torture ✨
So proud of you! I wish the best for you and your son :))
@@xqueenbee8214 So kind
Yes, the amazing amount of peace you feel in your spirit. The relief from the anxiety they were causing you. I did all that too after his last attack. But he disappeared so the divorce is not going easy.
@@Kharizmah You do indeed feel the relief and peace after realising someone who has spent years telling you they will change when in fact they changed you into a nut case and you break free from it to become your calm self again is a complete embrace. I never want to be the person I was with him again. I can honestly say I lost it and became so reactive myself. So happy to have had the lord on my side to give me courage to finally leave. Only got married 6 months ago though so I still have to wait until a year before it can be finalised 🙏
@@Doveandson I’m glad you didn’t suffer with him for too long
I love that he thinks this. It makes him stay away from me to make me suffer when he’s actually giving me peace.
Today would have been my 29th Wedding Anniversary to my soon to be X husband. I left last Dec and didn't look back!!I didn't know it was my X Anniversary until I had to sign something today. And he doesn't get to know how wonderful and healed I am. He doesn't get the privilege to know anything about my life. No contact has been wonderful and healing. 😊😊
Sure do! Mine asked me “am I broke” I said no & bills paid up. He had the longest silence ever. 🙄🙄🙄 he wants to me to be broken without him & he wants me to beg for money. Which I am not going to do. I’m leaving that to Child Support. God, Family, my job has been showing out for me! 🙌🏽💁🏽♀️💞💞💞💞💞 I have been so happy these 6 months!
Congratulations 🎉
It’s been 4 months for me, I deleted all social media but I miss it now 😂 did you stay on it?
Amen sister Ameen, God got us over here😊😊
So f peaceful Amen 🙌🏻
Mine said "You must got your taxes" then send the home boys to stalk the house and see if I got a new man 😂
"Self love is the best love " you tube quote of the year❤
They truly are in love with themselves. Remember how they say that you'll never find someone like them. Believe me, they really are telling the truth there. You should be so blessed!
Now what exactly are you suppose to miss leaving the Narc….Liars, Manipulators, Gaslighting or Devaluation..their insecurities, crying and begging? I miss nothing about him, absolutely nothing! 😂
Say it loud for the people in the back! 💯👏👏
“ And Felicia said unto them, “ BYE “ ✌🏻✌🏻
And look how fast they got dat ahhs blocked...look how fast they can no longer contact you...look how fast they gotta call private back to back to back😂 look how fast time going by and they still can't contact you. 😮😮😮
I was the one who discarded and went no contact. He said the reason why I didn’t answer my phone was because I was hurt and still loved him. 🥴🥴🥴 I was mentally checked out waaaaaay before I found the strength to go no contact.
You're so right, my husband has told me no one will ever want me and being a single mom makes me unattractive and undesirable. spending some time to heal and with my kids after such an abusive relationship sounds like glory. Dating will come when I'm ready, spending time with myself sounds amazing to me. Thank you for this video and for exposing what I already suspected. My still husband has mentioned some of the things you've mentioned. Praise God I've already started on my therapy.
Good for you hun! So proud! ❤️🫶🏽
💯💯
💯🎉🥳
NOPE! LOL - I am thrilled everyday when I awake up and realize he is not there - thank God!
"The narcissist might actually be the best that you've had". That made me howl with laugher....you mean, there is worse out there than the narcissist?
I'm eight months going no contact. It's been very difficult.
I'm not trying to be funny, but why is it hard? They are such horrible human beings. What could you possibly miss? I Never, ever want to see nor hear from my narcissist ex. Once I learned he was doing this on purpose and got the courage to leave, no power on heaven or earth could get me to care, wonder, miss, call, text, message that hurtful person. So I'm trying to understand what was hard for you.
be strong, sister 💗 I feel for you
My ex is a narcissist. I paid money to me alot of money to be able to eat . I wonder what he is doing without money!
@@rememberselfcare until your in a situation like this and deep in a trama bond with them its indescribable.. like a drug withdrawal
Took me a while to completely wrap my head around what he was & what had happened to me. But thanks to you, Ben & others, I'm in a good place now & no contact with the exN for almost 4 yrs! Life is good!
Congrats!!! (((Hugs))) You sound like me, although I'm only 6 months in. Go us! ❤
No wonder my covert narcissist ex-husband kept reaching out to me after I separated from him, acting like he cared and that he “was there for me if I needed to talk”. No way!! 😅
Mine did the same thing after he discarded me. Bye, Bum!
@@TheCurlyBeauty same with my ex bf... it's still quite fresh break up, for me at least...he broke up with me...and now occasionally small hoover...I think he wants to check how hurt I am and how much I long for him.. unfortunately I'm very very hurt and still love him and I don't even mean to hide it...but I see that he has no love for me and doesn't care for me and doesn't miss me...I mean, he broke up over what?! some petty excuse just to officially get rid of me!!! He doesn't want me back and I don't want to ever go back to him either tho I still have feelings for him...I cannot do it...
He actually was the best and the freaking WORST I've ever had. When it was good, it was GREAT. But when it was bad, it was the absolutely WORST WORST WORST. Great experience. Now I know what to do and not do. What to look for and watch out for moving forward. Made me wiser, stronger, and better. Thanks Narcissist
I was ok being by myself , with the kids because, my ex didn't take me out on date's he didn't want to spend holidays together. He was always outside somewhere cheating and would get mad at me because I didn't want to sleep with him.
Yep
I am a very young 60, in 4 days. I put my heart and soul into this man. For the past almost 3 years. He's not abusive, verbally or physically. But he refuses to acknowledge my feelings. No matter how much I say it and no matter how I word it. There is no effect on him. I never get flowers. But he can go to the bar every day after work. And on weekends. I never get cutesy little dates. And he tells me he doesn't want to come home after work, he wants me to encourage him to go sit in the bar and have a few beers after work. Like normal men. I don't want that to be my life. He thinks that he has been awesome to me just because there was no abuse. And he swears I will miss him when he leaves. What is to miss? Thank you Lee❤
Yep they want you be the maid
Is my life !!!! Ok go live it in another place .
You described emotional abuse
You don’t understand emotional neglect
let him stay at his bar and while he is at work or there, pack all your stuff already in advance, organize yourself a car to pack it all there and leave!!!!! Let.this sad excuse of a man stay in his bar....You are sooo much better off without him, sister!!
I'm so happy that I will be done with him. I told him nobody thinking about you, Ottis.
It’s true, it gets to the point where you don’t even care anymore. It’s like okay this is expected. Trust me when you make them feel like you don’t have to ever explain to anyone they lied to about what actually happened and made you look like the bad person it’s okay I’ll
Take that if that’s all I have to do to get rid of you.
My ex narc was the best of the worst thing that happened to me. Bc of the ex I found how I lacked self love, higher esteem etc. the knowledge I learned bc of being with the narc opened my eyes up to make better decisions & to put me 1st. @ times I did miss the ex but while missing the ex it was unclear of exactly what I missed. I had to dive in to myself especially once I realized all the good was fake & all the bad was real. I remind myself of the mask falling off & then I don’t miss her anymore.,
Feels good to have a relaxed mental state than feeling hyper vigilant all the time. Constant state of confusion ❤
I’ve come to realize since being single I have this light around me. Other people have always noticed it…..I realize this is his biggest threat….im one of a kind . Knowing this now the sky is the limit for my daughter and I
Not broken, just grew to be more resilient. I don’t owe him a thank you but I’m glad I had the strength and bravery to stand up to him when that’s hard enough to begin with.
He was constantly angry that he couldn’t fully control me, and resorted to violence to try to break me down. Turns out he’s the one who broke himself further and is beyond bitter that I’m much, MUCH happier without him. He didn’t add anything to my life, but I gave him a lifestyle he could now only dream of having because no other woman our age will ever put up with him. 😂
He left me extremely! broken, he replaced me fast… while we were still together, he made me feel worthless, he harmed me. I felt horrible, stuck and hopeless and I did not hide it. But! But! But! 9 months later, like Fenix, I am rising from ashes with the help of the therapist and my social circle, new me is being born. And of course, thanks to you Lee!!!
It's been 6 month since I left a female covert narc. I posted a video talking about it on my IG and TT and she called the police on me stating that I gave out her personal information. I absolutely didn't do that and even the police agreed. They simply asked if I maybe not make any other videos and certainly not give out ant personal information. I would never do that but I did start a video series called Narc:Tales and I plan on talking about my experiences over the last 4 years!
I was broken for a long time and I read somewhere that it takes up to 2 years to recover from narcissistic abuse. I will say my recovery is coming up on 2 years and I'm a lot better then I was 2 months after. Now I don't care what really happened and proving her lies, I just want my belongings and money back that's owed to me.
40 is the start of wisdom Lee😊
❤ Not broken just glad i walked away, no contact, went ghost, no access..for my respect & dignity ❤ tss i dont think so..
Best way I've moved on: To be in a relationship....with dance!😂
Seriously, though. This is my answer to guys I've been meeting lately. As a social dancer (salsa, kizomba, bachatta) movement has been soooo therapeutic for me❤ Lots of trapped emotions and trauma loves to live in our bodies, and this has been a healthy way to process it!
As fellow salsa, bachata and kizomba dancer, I agree that dance and body movement in general is therapeutic. However, from personal experience, I also found myself avoiding processing my emotions through dance, which is why I was still going to therapy as well.
What I did notice though is there are a lot of traumatised people in those social dance circles.
@nickus51 you are correct in saying: lots of traumatized people in the dance scene. I've found dance along with talk therapy, other forms of exercise (walking, yoga, strength training), journaling, and meditation make a nice and balanced routine for me. Dancing is also amazing (sometimes even more so) when done alone in my livingroom, where I can really let go!😊
@@tzipporah7635 Absolutely agree with you. I got myself to a similar point when most successful thing for me is a balance between psychotherapy, dancing, weight training, hiking with my dog and journaling. I am truly grateful for all of that.
I am glad you managed to find your balance and thus your inner peace! 🙌
I thought it was going to be very difficult for me to heal because he did not miss connecting to me every day of our lives together. I surprised myself feeling just the opposite. I felt so much peace. I no longer had to think about what he was doing, was he being honest, and i did not have to spend every day of my life researching my suspicions that ended up being a reality.
The funny thing is that Narcs treat you so bad during the relationship that it makes it easy to move on. There’s no place but up to go from being with a Narc, you’re already at rock bottom dealing with them.
Perfect timing! Needed this one, Lee ❤
My “covert narc” changed his number and texted it to me TWO months ago and I guess he was expecting me to “miss him” and THOUGHT I was going to fall for him again, (I was stuck in a trauma bond with him) but I simply replied “ok” and I guess he wasn’t feeling my reply and he hasn’t responded to me since then LOL.
Facts! Mine discarded me in such a horrific way and then was pissed because I wasn’t begging for him back and had the NERVE to tell me that I wasn’t being friendly about the situation. WTF when he discarded me like he did and “I’m” not being friendly? He just wants me to be broken and pine for him when he is gonna tell me to go f**k myself anyway no matter what I do. He will say that I haven’t fixed my problems etc. Yea I had a problem alright, HE was my problem! They are seriously screwed up and delusional. You begging and chasing is just fuel for them. They don’t care. Period.
sounds exactly like my ex bf...wow...💩🤦🤦
Sounds like my ex also. They are all the same. Terrible behavior that they choose.
SELF-RESPECT, Self- CONFIDENCE , KEEP OUR CHIN UP!!! LIFE IS WORTH LIVING!!! LIFE IS GOOD!!! THANKS 😊😂 WE r not bothered !!!😂 Not concern WALL UP!!! Become MATURE Mentally is healthy !!! Fall in love yourself, with SELF INNER PRECIOUS, UNIQUENESS, CHILD!!! & Move forward with a SMILE of FREEDOM to LIVE BETTER!!! Right?
👍😊😅😂😊❤❤❤❤❤
Yup, I used to hear my narcissist saying to themselves out loud "I'm the shit". I was thinking are they trying to convince me or themselves 🤦🏾♀️.
They even told me we're the last of the good people left so we better hold onto one another.
And when they see your not hurt they become hurt! And they start to think you played them the whole time! And you never cared about them so give it time they will want revenge! Because they are embarrassed and didn’t expect you to be strong enough to let them go
Hi Lee. When I decided to DTMFA I came up with a plan. I have experienced both worlds, that is being in a relationship, and being in a "singleship" with someone for long periods of time. Choosing the latter. I write "ship" after each experience because anyone of them is a trip/journey for ourselves. DTMFA = DUMP THE MOTHERFING ALREADY!
Thank you for your insight. If it wasn’t for you, I’d have so many unanswered questions and now I understand so much more. The people around me don’t understand what I see because my ex has been very clever to just target me only
Yesterday, my narc asked if I ever think about us. I busted out laughing 😂😂😂😂
I don't miss 😈😈🤡🤡!! Period 🤨🤨
Well, he can think as he chooses. My children amd i have moved on and we are truly happy.
Sorry, but I laughed out loud when you said "Hell, I lie to myself!" LMAO Whew chile the nonsense they tell themselves is comical.
They want u to believe that no one else want u.
My narcissist calls it betrayal, I betrayed him because I moved on.
They don't love 💛💛them self low self esteem!
I'm good on the narcissist dont miss nothing about that horror in my life n thank you Lee for all your help n others
Lee, I treasure You ‼️ Thank You Brother!❤
Self love is mah #1hobby now..im officially loving ME.. I PUT ME FIRST NOW 😂❤
Don't want nobody no more. I love myself.
And it feels d@mn good‼️
Me & God now & its so peaceful. Although the realization that my husband was a complete LIE of 12 years of my life,his discard was Beyond BRUTAL but he always underestimated me and how I rise🔥 Im taking time to heal because i will NEVER tolerate that disrespect again by Anyone! I will be 50 this year and thats cause to celebrate ME & all ive overcome. Bless You Lee for all you share, Its helpful 🙏
Dr. Ramani said something about this 12 month cleanse rule. I like your reasoning more...how long till I'm ready...OK with being by myself?? NOW!!!!
I was broken and hurt with the way he ended things. But I will never miss the worst of everything I ever experienced. Being broken is okay. Healing from it is revealing a me I forgot.
I don’t want to move on quickly. Rediscovering me has been a journey and a treat.
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Agreed. You are 1:1 and self care and self love is the correct way and the only way I started seeing the same thing.. I was like wait a minute how can I allow you to just talk any kind of way to me 😑
I had a narcissist best friend. When I finally quit being friends with her, she didn’t take me seriously at all she thought I was gonna be back there next day. A week went by, then a month, and she LOST. HER. FUCKING. MIND. She really couldn’t comprehend that my life was happier without her.
Exactly who's broken disappointed angry but....not broken
Nothing to miss
Yes he loves to say he is in a relationship that we are not together
When we are able to distance ourselves from the narc [all lower caps, all earned and all deserved] - I have to say that watching a narc self immolate when we decide to turn and walk away is one of the most empowering and validating moments alive.
have to be safe
@@MentalHealness It has been safe and nourishing. I do not feel the desperate need for revenge or retaliation. I simply desire and work hard for peace. It drives her [an indiscriminately violent and surgically abusive mother narc - no contact] crazy, but I love living authentically in my skin and sharing myself in a mutually supportive, value aligned environment. Thank you again for your work. It is important. Stay well!
When I was with the narc. she used to ask me all the time don't you miss me, and I will tell her I should never have to miss you. We should be around each other or able to see each other enough to not ever have to miss each other.
Your impressions kill me off 😂😂😂😂
How Nice to SEE U , LEE 😂!!! THANKS
He really did say he was the best thing that ever happened to me😂😂😂😂. I have moved on and taking care of my daughter on my own. It’s so peaceful now. I can’t get any lower than him.
Thanks Lee i needed this.
Lee, you are such a blessing. Your smile and giggle makes my day! Thank you for helping us understand what we've been through!
They are some crazyyyyyy individual's, why would you want to hurt someone that loves you and did everything to try making you see it? Its a mystery to me....
I've been nothing but good 2 him, but I was accused of cheating and doing everything i shouldn't have been doing under the sun smh....
Unbelievable 😡
💯💣 very unbelievable I couldn't understand this for a long time. Until I found these videos.
@cletiawilliams1436 Its just insane 😳
Sounds exactly like my ex. SMH!
@6:10 "We (narcissists) are always trying to put a pacifier in our mouths in some way, shape, or form." WOW
My ex tried to "viciously" discard me after I grey-rocked him. I thought that was actually funny because I was already onto his game and expecting it...he just confirmed even more that he acts like a narcissist.
But I could tell that he did that to make himself feel good, like he had the last laugh. Yup like needing that binky. Sad, actually.
I love being by myself
It’s so peaceful✨
Thanks, Lee! Appreciate you!
I didn’t even move on fast (it was 6 months later) but he found out I was talking to someone we knew & he had a lot of smartass things to say. 😂 it was like a whole year later when he finally said something so it had bothered him for a while lol
This video is fire! 💯 truths!
Thank You so much 🫸🏾🙏🏽🫷🏾
I love your videos. They have really helped me process and understand the situation from a different perspective. it's making things so much easier to understand and accept that my ex was just sick. I keep trying to get him to watch your videos but now I'm the narcissist...even after I've already lowered myself and taken the blame and accepted the gaslighting and just embraced all the fuckery. I just appreciate your videos much. Keep it up
Yep self love ❤️ dating myself 200 %
Yes I'm getn to that point now I am thinking that way that they don't deserve me my happiness is slowly coming back.
I appreciate you 🌹
This was a very helpful one thank you Lee
RELIEF...
HAPPY TO LIVE...
TO BE WITH NORMAL PPL...TO GO TO PARADISE DESTINATIONS...TO GO SHOPPING SHOPPING SHOPPING...TO FEEL MOST HAPPY IN MY HOME ZOO❤
PREACH!
Thank you wow ❤❤❤
I never dated long term a person that was sad when we split. I swear all the women were covert narcissists. I wanted them to be sad and check in to see how i felt. None ever did. Made me feel terrible
You are the one who is a narcissist , by your own words even , you wanted to see them sad and broken after split up!! - that speaks volumes about what kind of human you are!!!! 💩 The fact that they all have moved on and want nothing to do with you clearly shows they are glad to have such a 💩 like you, out of their lives!!! I hope they continue thrive and never give a narcissist jerk like you another minute !!
You should write a book on all this. I know I would buy it. I tell my friends about you all the time. Right now they are full on dealing with a narcy , while right now in my life there is peace. I'm enjoying being relaxed and lazy mentally , instead of hyper vigilant
Lee 😂😂😂You are in control.
Yes I have seen the light, it took awhile for me to realize im so much better without hime. 🎉The divorce is the next step. Im so happy and at peace.
Thank God for the new supply because she is just like him.
Prayer works 💪🙏 😊
I'm gonna pretend I'm sad as hell & broken when it's over!! Tee hee!!😂
I will hop on board with you . Let see how our journey will be . I know it won't be easy but I know for a fact that ourselves won't go down that easy. I'm a guy btw and apparently I won't go after girls but financial secure first . Yes put god first , mental health as well. Therefore let's thrive
"Narcissistic robot slowing down.." 😆😆😆😆
I feel like this was my birthday present thank you thank you thank you
Thank you for all the empowering things you say and also in a funny way that makes me laugh 😂😂😂 in the middle of all the Mess i am in with the divorce form my narcissistic wife that still going on for how much time I do not know
he has me keep coming back then go right back to where we was every time I’m happy and moved on he tells me what I want to hear to get me to come back then reminds me why I left it’s just a circle can’t get out this time I’m trying so hard to run and not look back