How to tell if someone TRULY likes you or they're just being NICE
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- Опубліковано 22 кві 2024
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I feel like nothing ever happens if I'm not initiating.
Apparently I'm not for anyone either 😎
Don't take it personally my friend. You never know what's going on with them. At the same time, match their energy
real 😓
Same here, I seem to have to initiate.... even after I have stopped doing so...
You mfers imitiating all the time and failing all of your relationships? Btw, im a man and i will never initiate. No first move.
No one is so busy that they have no time for you. If they like you, they will make time.
Absolutely true.
Yes. We should discern whether we matter or not to the other person to move forward.
Unless they have kids, work a full time job and have other commitments lmao
@@ephemera5714 Yeah, I just thought of my brother who is a father of a bunch of kids, one being special needs. He's always busy. He's not mean or dismissive, he's just really that busy. Whatever free time he has he spends with his family.
@ephemera5714 : OH bullshit so they NEVER get laid? You rode the short bus to school didn't you?
If a person likes you, they will put in effort & make it easy & it’ll feel natural
For 25 years of my life no one has done that, I mean also friends, not just romantic partners, I'm considered pretty by some people, I definitely know I'm not ugly, I'm empathetic, I have my values, I don't know what it is that pushes people away. But I prefer to think that my people will eventually find me and for now, God is protecting me from not so good people (i think they are this and that, but maybe they are not any of those things). My problem is I attach to people without them wanting it, or without even knowing who they are and then I see their true colors and I'm disappointed. But nonetheless they are never scared of losing me, they never fight for me, I'm the only one chasing and fighting for people, but not anymore, I am done, I will choose me now.
@@user-zs6gh1xk5f I didn't use to fight for people at all. I was scared of being dependent. I never wanted anyone to attach to me. I often felt guilty about rejecting some meetings so I was rescheduling ouf of gulit, shame or fear. If people didn't have any mental issues, the video would be mostly true. Personally, I think that most people have some kind of issues, so it's never black and white. Good for you for focusing on yourself though. When I started doing it, well first I learned how much I was not okay and how much it was affecting my life that I've been hiding it for years. And that what I mistook for my empathy was just fear, of being critised, rejected or yelled at. Yk you can't be rejected by others when you reject yourself first. You can't be critised when you fail if you don't try. Finally with time I learned that people actually like me. Even when I'm down. Even when I do something stupid or childish. I even learned to like myself, with all my high sensitivity and overthinking, even if sometimes one small thing is enough for me to lay in my bed all day with my face in the pillow. Now I'm on the other end and I often come across people making excuses not to meet. Oftentimes they want to meet, but they seem to get scared when the time for the meeting actually comes. I can never now for sure what's going on on their mind, but I hope that with time they'll trust enough to talk about it or be honest why don't they actually meet. Anyway, it's probably never good to push too much. Since it's everyone's own responsibility to take care of their mental health, the video actually still works. A reliationship requires effort from both sides. You can support someone and give more than the other person when they're having a harder time, but it can't last forever or you'll drain yourself.
Is that true? A girl I knew in highschool accepted many invitations but barely tried socializing with me.
Which is never
Easiest thing in the world. Just invite him/her. and when she/he finds excuses not to meet it clearly means she/he doesn't really like you.
Not always. The person could have social anxiety issues.
@@ellensunden2778 Give me a break, it's rare. You Americans are obsessed with anxieties.
So, no women like any Men.
@@ellensunden2778 exactly my thoughts
@@ellensunden2778 Or maybe they are scared of your religion.
People can conceal their thoughts, their personalities, but not their energy. If you learn to read that, then you will never struggle again.
How do people "read energy"? Everyone around me feels the same.
@@frankkennedy6388intuition and body language. Some people can do it more naturally than others and some people are just kind of “blind” so to speak. Saying energy is easier than trying to describe the ability to read body language and interact in real time. Subtext is also involved. Have you never seen when the words in a conversation are an entire mismatch with the visible body language? Also generally girls are better than boys at it. I’m generalising though so please don’t jump down my throat. Posting online is a perfect example. How often we miscommunicate with people just because tone of voice is not present? Add tone of voice to sight, and looking at who you re communicating with. Then add touch. Does the person ever touch you when you talk to them? How does that make you feel? Often how an interaction makes you feel includes your subconscious telling you what the actual “energy” is. I imagine there are books and books on the topic but from what I can tell some people are masters at navigating “energy” or “vibe” or whatever word one wants to attribute to whatever is really going on behind any interaction. I am mediocre at it. I can read interactions between others moderately well but don’t find it nearly so clear when it is an interaction with me. I think that’s pretty common though.
@@frankkennedy6388ask them certain questions and see the type of face expressions they make when you ask them.
@@frankkennedy6388 you just have to observe people more and know what to look for. Eventually you will be able to just feel it without having to pay attention as much
😂 what a bs
Some people are really busy, with work, family, activities... sometimes they don’t find time to do everything they should do. So, sometimes it happens : they like you, but they don’t take time to call you back. Of course, maybe you don’t want friends like that.
I think this video is more for single people who are interested in someone. If that other person doesn't make time to spend with you then don't waste your time on them.
Thats what I did, i took a step back, listed all the red flags ,cons and pros, strengths and weaknesses. waited for the other person’s initiation- weeks passed by and nothing. Time to move on and Thank you, next.
Oh! This one is easy for me because they are never interested.
Yes, sometimes it's that you may not mesh well. Also, even if they're not interested, it could most likely be for your own protection in the long run. Meaning that the friendship may end up hurting you if you pursue it, but they're not that keen, but the friendship ends up happening anyway. This has been my experience over time. On both ends - being the one who's been interested but not having it reciprocated and also the one who's not been overly interested but has been pursued.
Also they may be hiding what they're really dealing with eg. depression or anything; and it's not they wouldn't like to be friends it may be they just don't have it in them at the moment to be a good friend. And they know this about themselves, so don't want to hurt or disappoint the other.
Personally, I am genuinely happy and interested in people. I tend to see the best of most people I meet and wish to be able see them more.
But my time is limited, and I have to work a lot on improving my mental health.
I cannot count the people that are so dear to my heart and often found myself too exhausted to ask for news, even though I deeply think about them on a regular basis.
I find it hard, because my behavior doesn’t reflect how I feel.
I sometimes told people about it. But still wonder if they might think of this as being polite.
I actually genuinely like them.
But I really need time to take care of myself, and considerate enough, not make all this a burden to anyone else.
So I can be at my best when we meet, and share good times.
I still have friends I can share this with though. No worries, I’m not alone in this ;)
It is just more complicated for new friendships and relationships.
So, yeah, it is not always about you :)
Hope It will get better soon :)
sometimes people don't have space for another close friendship in their life, whether because of things that are going on for them, or because they have the right number of close friendships already; so sometimes we can have a real connection with people but not be open to having a friendship we might otherwise "want" to have; so it can be confusing sometimes to feel both pulls. And sometimes people are just too polite or just weird. We all have our weird moments!
Most people are lonely as hell. It's pretty rare for an adult to just have too many friends.
I’m always too depressed so people assume I’m a weirdo but if someone asks me questions or tries to get to know me then I feel sudden spike of energy and I’m being myself again
Wow! Just 2:21 minutes and I've NEVER seen someone explain and give a concrete answer to this topic even after watching 100s of hours of minutes to hour long videos!
So concise and precise, to the point and clear conclusive answer, which didn't leave me confused or like the video creator just spun some words, or just gave a pseudo-science answer and didn't answer anything which happens most of the time, and every time before this WHILE being so inclusive and letting them know that the other person doesn't mean to demean them.
This was an awesome vid, thanks to the algo for recommending and thank you for creating! 🎉👍
Man, so many people are uninterested of me then. That's a lot of "moving on" I have to do. They only want my homework and services. 😔😔😔😔
That’s most people which is why generally one does well to have a few close friends. Try restarting in your forties in a different country! Plenty of courteous acquaintances but friends? That takes time work and experience.
That’s not true! I value you as a friend! Wanna hangout after school? I just need to finish my calc homework first and then we can hang. Quicker i get that complete, the quicker we can get started…
Or they could be like me, who has anxiety and I have to force myself to do things like get togethers (I do for my boyfriend's sake) 😂 but if someone asked if we want to go out for food or something I would respectfully decline, not because of them I would just rather... not 😬
Good answer. To be honest I don't want friends and I know that I hurt people sometimes but I definitely don't want to hurt them. I just have had enough of people and friendships take up my time and friendships are all about compromise. I really truly like some people I meet in life and I can admire them or their skills or thoughts but I simply don't want to invest in friendships anymore. So I'm polite and sincere but I never look to further the encounter. So as this video says don't take it personally and enjoy the moment you have and then move on.
Unless that friendship is going to be with a person who will be with you till the end and enrich your life then I totally agree that friendships aren’t really worth the time or effort .
There are people that I like and love. But I am incapable of maintaining friendships over the long term. It's me, not them. So while yes, you can move on, don't make the mistake in assuming they don't like you because of this.
False friends are everywhere! Good friends encourage you to do well and never get jealous when your doing well! Plus are happy to help when they have time.
Good point but you might be on the wrong video
I always decline invitations, even if I like the person and want to go to the activity due to my fear of social situations and fear of people. It has nothing to do with them.
@@lancefurcinite6518 Please keep your self-righteous, condescending advice to yourself. Unsolicited advice is both rude and condescending, and I will not tolerate being spoken down to like I'm a child. Shame on you.
@@ellensunden2778 Tbh your response shows you need all the advice you can get really
@@ellensunden2778 That's funny!!! I thought I was maybe giving some helpful advice here and wasn't trying to be condescending in any way. But given your obvious attitude toward my comment, you can just piss off!!! Bye 👋
@@ellensunden2778 Oh,no wonder you fear social situations, you're obviously an asshole.I do expect this comment to be deleted like my last. Funny how you get to spew your crap out at me,but when I reply,it gets deleted. Hmmmm ?
@@ellensunden2778 I have no idea what they said but I'm 99% sure it had some truth to it and it hurt your feelings otherwise you wouldn't be tantruming and trying to guilt trip people in a youtube comment section.
Kind of figured this out....slow as I am...but it was good to hear it from someone else. "Let their actions speak for themselves" Put in the effort, but see what they offer in return.
Exactly what happened. I asked a guy I see regularly that wanted to talk about something and he said he was busy and then from the next day started avoiding me completely. And before this we used to talk and maybe I misunderstood his friendship for interest.
Everyone of them hates me; they’re just being nice.
It can be like that sometimes. I found things changed if my life changed so that I was with a totally different group of people. Maybe you are in the wrong "group."
Thanks 🙏, It's practically a harmless way to find out someone's interest.
Best and most true tip I ever heard was, if they like you, they will make it easy for you.
Exactly what I did.
Asked if he was here to help me. Blinnked alot smirked and said No.
Made one road a difficult one to take.
I lost a friend last year because I didn't initiated often enough for her. I sent her a text every week and that wasn't enough for her. She blocked me on everything, without explaining what I did wrong. I have ADHD and PTSD and a lot going on in my life. I'm not able to text/call/see someone everyday and I don't want that. It's not only about the person who doesn't initiate (enough). Friendships are realtionships and relationships need rules and honesty. Everyone wants and needs different things. If someone doesn't initiate it doesn't have to mean they don't like you. Maybe they have chaotic life/ are busy. Maybe they only want to have contact every month, but you want it every week. I think it's important have an honest conversation about what you want from each other. You also can just ask someone if they like you. You don't have to read someone if you just talk about it
In my experience , only time a girl likes you is if she is attracted to you otherwise she ignores you or hates you or is just being nice because she has to be or she wants something from you
I was not expecting such toughtful and honest reflection when I clicked this video. Glad to hear it!
Thank you very much this was very insightful 😊
I think the harder part is when you get invited to do something and when you ask for further details, they hesitate because they didn’t think you’d take them seriously. After that, you just can’t trust them anymore. So to be safe, you just laugh off all of their invites.
People like that are insincere and manipulative. It's best to avoid them altogether. When I invite someone, I really mean it. For me to withdraw that invitation, you need to do something that makes me change my mind about you.
with EXPERIENCE!!! i never wanted too much experience but not entirely my fault either
Actions and words are confirmation.
Normally words cannot carry much weight in demonstrating resolve, but when we are highly emotionally vested in a venture, words are more meaningful.
A normally stoic person may force out an 'I love you' when its true or in contrast, 'I don't love you anymore' when its true.
Their thoughts come come from their mind and are vocalizing thoughts when speaking
You're just looking for the right vibe
You are absolutely correct! I don’t wanna be bothered with nobody. I’m just being nice at work, church, school, or in public. But I prefer to be left alone. If people get to close I will dodge them😂😂😂🙂↔️ No Ma’am or Sir please back up lol
Nicely said 👏
This is the reason I like this channel she says things very clear in simple language I also had a same issue with a lady I like that lady but everything was initiated by me i apple this stepback method
So what happened after using this method?
@@bimsaragunathilke4901 It's only been 20 hours so give it a few days and we'll see what OP has to say
@@bimsaragunathilke4901on to the next lol
Great advice! all of this is true, can relate to this 100%. I'm always the one intiating - with both sexes, always speak first, ask them out. they never initiate - most dont text or say yes to me. So i just give up, i mean how long can you keep knocking on closed doors, i just learn to never ever initiate anymore
Problem with this is, some, usually introverted or shy people might start to think, oh they're not iniating any more, they don't like me anyway I shouldn't call them.
The moment I stop initiating, my current friends don't do or say anything for like 6 months. And the friends I've met that do initiate do it EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF THE DAY and I have to cut contact for them being too clingy. Nothing beats family though, I call them and they call me, minimal effort and it just works.
Few people I hangout with have fear of disturbing people... So not very helpful because they rarely initiate
If they don't ever initiate, they're just not interested enough in maintaining a relationship with you 9/10 times.
If someone is making jokes that are non-suggestive consider it friendly conversation. Nothing more.
I think this video should just be like a hint rather than a 100% fact. Making up little tests and games for others to go through without them knowing and then using that as a way to cut contact with them and end the relationship is bordering if not already crossing the line of being manipulative. Especially if you start using these tests as a point in an argument.
There is a 3rd option - a person could like you, but still not want to see you so much if they are an introvert.
I am an introvert, so I rarely actually want to meet other people, even those that I like, even those that I genuinely love. I prefer to be alone and reading is my favorite activity. With people that I love, I am good to see them once a month. The people that I like - as little as once a year. It is not at all personal.
Obviously, I see the people that I love more often than once a month, because I respect their need to meet more frequently.
this is gold
Me : it is what it is 🗿
For me, it's interesting. She is clearly isn't interested, as I ask to meet and she always has something going on, but never suggests an alternative time. Yet, texting wise, it's very much mutual. I will text her when something interesting comes up, but if I don't bother to text her in a week to week and a half, she will text me. Clearly, she feels good as texting friends, but doesn't want an in person connection. We very rarely work together and that is the only time we talk in person.
I feel bad because I always hang out with 99% of my friends online and rarely ever meet in person unless it's a birthday or something. One of my friends doesn't use the internet much so whenever we are together it has to be in person. The problem is I never schedule because I'm stuck in my internet hangout mindset, so he ends up making every plan. I do want to hang with him and accept literally every time he initiates, but I never initiate for him unless it's my birthday
If I don't have plans and someone asked me, I'd go but if I'm already doing something or has something planned or planned to do nothing(still something to do), I would just say no.
I think sometimes it will show through their voice tone ,eye contact or how they will interact with u when there's people with you , sometimes it will show through their humor because some people will put truth between jokes .
This works for texting as well 👍
You certainly can tell some peoples interest or not by their body language and actions. Not everything needs to be verbal.
Shy awkward people won't initiate even if interested, so the pull back method won't work with them.
I'm lucky I love spending time alone 😂
I think you might be lying to yourself, why bother watching a video on this topic then?
@@metsrus Because I still like women
@@wayneisname4544 I respect your honesty.
@@metsrus Because I want to know more about how people work?
I see love as manipulation tool. What is love? I don’t understand love I know what it is but i don’t feel it.
If it is toward me they r just being nice. Cased closed
This exact thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I was going to meet up with this girl, but then she cancelled it the day before. Afterwards whenever I voiced my want to reschedule she would just say she was busy. I was a bit confused at first since I thought she had previously shown sings of interest towards me, but what do you know, she was already eyeing someone else. I've let go of it now though.
but when they tell you they could be lieing.. judge by actions over time, and how they treat you over time etc
I really like Francesca…
Gorgeous with beautiful accent
I wish she just told me she wasn’t interested rather than saying I’ll be busy. And then basically ghosting me 😢
I like one of my classmates he also talks to me nicely. One day i told him he is my crush and that day only he told me he is committed to someone but previously when i started talking to him he told me he is single. But still we sit together sometimes we talk with each other like so nicely that it would seem we are dating. I feel very excited when he talks to me but he doesn't talk i feel not so good. But i know after sometime we gonna be apart from each other as as course is going to end and he will return to his place which is far away from my place. I dont know what to do now. Please suggest me mam
Just keep in touch but keep it light-hearted, he may grow to appreciate you or even miss you. But if he drifts away, don't follow him, move on yourself. (Send a closure email if you need to.)
There’s a girl at my running club that I get along with well and talking to her seems so easy. She’s always the first to leave though and looking back it’s like I think I’m always the one to move and sit next to her. I only see her once a week at most though so I don’t feel like there’s much opportunity to see if she will initiate though it certainly wouldn’t be the first time that test made me realize there’s nothing mutual. I’m often finishing the run after her so I have to go sit near her or else expect her to get up and move seats which I wouldn’t expect. Can’t really talk to her on the run either because she’s always alone with her headphones in rip. I’ll just keep doing the same exact things and expect a different result eventually.
I'm so full of doubt. When the good feelings come, it gets shut down and I escape back to myself. Relationships are scary and if things go wrong I get washed with extreme feelings of shame and EXTREME guilt and it makes me prone to suicide. I am in an extremely fragile state constantly. I don't know how to do this. I stopped talking to people. I've lost that ability in a sense. Or maybe I'm just terrified.
Also even if they come back to you to see you, they shouldn’t do it too last minute. Give you at least 2,3 days in advance.
I stopped initiating and ended up with no social life at all.
This is one of those rare situations where assuming is an act of wisdom and self-preservation.
I assume any woman being nice to me is either doing her job or was just raised to be nice. I assume she is not flirting or showing any personal interest in me.
Not at all coincidentally, I have never been accused of se*ual assault or worse.
I have never lost my job or career or reputation or freedom because I misinterpreted a woman's hints, signals, signs, or body language.
The first rule when it comes to interacting with women is CYA.
It's also the second rule. And the third. And all the rest.
I'm 63, and as far as I know, no woman has ever flirted with me.
If I'm wrong about that, no problem. If I'm right, also, no problem.
CYA, fellas. Nobody else is going to be looking out for you.
Personally, I often feel guilt after rejecting a meeting for a longer time, so I reschedule it ouf of guilt. I can't even tell what does it mean to truly like someone. Like is it about romantic relationships or friendships as well? There was nothing new for me in the video. I hoped it'd give some clarity how to (not)behave when I like someone as a person, but I'm not interested in a relationship with them.
I'm just stuck in fear. I don't know how to initiate. It doesn't come naturally. I don't date anybody. I haven't dated anyone in years.
If I'm the one asking that question, they're just being nice. 100% of the time. They're just being nice... And they want something.
I'd rather die alone than go through it again.
Go through what?
Maybe its better of this way.
When you know you know
This does not account for people with social anxiety or even a strongly reserved homebody personality.
Body language. You must get good at reading body language. We are communicating CONSTANTLY.
And what if NO ONE makes the effort to come to you?
Excuses are a polite form of rejection.
If the person rescheduled it does it mean that he likes you?!?
lol no way that question gets answered that quickly. More accurate would be how well can you read subtext and body language. I think most of us are born with it and then lose it over time while others develop it even farther.
Let a man pursue you ❤
I assume they are just being nice unless there is clear and convincing evidence otherwise.
what if, they are mesmerized by your face as they spot you on a bus station, while you're not paying that much attention them. And as you sit down on the bus, while they too get on it, they start staring deep into your eyes for the whole duration you take the bus ride for? Let's say the bus ride is between 3 and 10 minutes long and you're both staring each other deeply. Almost in each others souls, so to speak. Do they like you or are they just being nice? This person, being a stranger, who you meet for the first time? Nothing too specific, just a general situation that happens to a lot of people, teehee
Another easy way to find out if someone likes you is if they ask questions about you
I talked to a girl in an event one day just to kill some time, she asked for my number and then she became obsessed messaging me and saying weird things lol I just wanted to talk, nothing more
They dont,,,just the required courteous
Nobody really liked me so I know they are just nice 😂
As an introvert, I disagree with this. And this doesn't take into consideration whether the other person is trying to work out the same thing ie. are they just being nice. If you wait, then you just have a stalemate even though you both may want to spend time together.
I'm so tired I actually thought your last name was "Psychology" 🤣
When my crush see me accidentally quickly turn away and act like didn’t saw me , And avoid eye contact, what does it mean ?
He/she isn’t interested in you n you mirror the same
Don't want to get your hopes up high but it could also mean that they're nervous around you because they like you. Either way you should ask them :)
he likes you , i often do this when i lyk someone'
My crush does the same. When she sees me by surprise she turns back and runs away quickly but when she has to pass near me she always pretends like she talks on the phone yet she still smiles and greetes me. Except we hold eye contact more than 5 seconds usually.
@@user-ke3qs2pn4i actually my crush smiles at me normally, but avoid me when see me accidentally.
And then when you take a step back the girl say to you later "but you didn't try"
I'm done with all this crap man.
That's just code for "why aren't you giving me attention anymore". Sometimes that's all a woman wants from you, just attention to feed her ego and nothing more.
That sucks man. There's a lot of girls out there that use attention like a life supply. Finding out what girls are like that is paramount because if you don't you'll just get used like a battery without realizing it
I like you!!!!! Alot !!!!!
Very pretty lady!
You can find out who truly likes you when you need help stacking 20 square meters of firewood into storage. 😁
Basically, if a woman likes you, she will make herself available even when busy.
I love your face
Not all that true, I would have guys I’m really really interested in but would never message them first because of ptsd of always being the one to message first and getting ghosted later. Can’t hurt me if I never messaged you anyways.
There is one way to know whats going in someone's mind but for this you must have superpower like "Bageshwar Dham Sarkar"😅
Chup
And I apologize for being an asshole. I don't know how to cope with these feelings a lot so I constantly self destruct. Bad things happening in a relationship can easily make me hurt myself or do stupid shit. So I don't try. I can't try. It will hurt me and you.
Very simple ...
If it's a guy he's into you
If it's a girl she's being helpful
😅
Guess I'll go to therapy. Or just kick the bucket
But people like me would like to hang out but are too lazy.
if u have to think if they like u the answer is no
2:07 it’s pretty clear that everyone has to like me 🗿