Trust is sooo important in a relationship! And it's not just fidelity, it's emotional, which is huge, financial, dependability, another huge one which he mentioned, to name a few.
If you know, you trust. If you trust, you know. All mistrust stems from the fact that you are dealing with a STRANGER. And nobody likes to live with strangers. Therefore, if you don't trust the person, draw the necessary conclusion from this: you don't know that person and, consequently, you don't REALLY like them (and love them even less). It's simple if you apply a little logic. The problem is that people love to fool themselves. That's why the only essential condition for a relationship of any kind is to establish true INTIMACY, that is, to know someone deeply enough for him to stop being a stranger. Intimacy takes time, there is no way to speed up the process, don't try to get around that fact. Either you're willing to take the time to REALLY get to know someone, or you're better off going it alone. The romantic idea that opposites attract is false. A jack-in-the-box relationship, where you never know what to expect from someone, isn't opening the doors to adventure, it's opening the doors to hell. There is no surprise in that
If there is love bond between partners it will be enough to continue to float on water together when their bridge is torn down. Bridge is trust. Water is life. Love is their raft. Watch very carefully what your thoughts are about your partner: is she or he seen as an enemy? A rival? If so turn your attention to the feelings of love and view from that perspective
Dr Gottman, Based on this video about trust, I would recommend you retrain some of your counselors. "Can I trust you to choose me over your friends, can I trust you to respect me" (your words in this video), rewording this in feelings might be expressed as "that I can't trust you based on your past behavior of breaking my trust and never having these broken trusts repaired, I feel irrelevant".
1:11 Children in adults bodies. The use of manipulation and control by their adult-child-parent (children raising children) is causing "Arrested Development" in the child not to emotionally mature. This is why age not stage is important and should be recognized in the school & Mental Health systems. This puts cognitive distortions in the adult-child so that they are not able to understand their true emotions in themselves for in other relationships. Putting the adult-child (Arrested development) into a relationship of power control or coercive control. "Coercive Control" is now illegal in England as of 2015 then in Wales, Scotland, Ireland and Paris. This is why John Gottman's data is always skewed throughout these many years. He needs to add to the equation of cognitive distortions such as gaslighting, bread crumbing, future faking and other non-scientific street terms. One day these will be codified and put into regular psychological medical terms.
*…and that’s why trust is part of foundation for any kinds of relationships such as dating, family, friends, etc!*
Trust is sooo important in a relationship! And it's not just fidelity, it's emotional, which is huge, financial, dependability, another huge one which he mentioned, to name a few.
yes, but why not loving god all by yourself? why do you need a rabbi or the church or whatever translater the muslims need?
Words to live by if you really care about someone and yourself.
yes, what about your solitary ascertainment? even if you get the same message with your partner doesn't i still remain solitary?
If you know, you trust. If you trust, you know. All mistrust stems from the fact that you are dealing with a STRANGER. And nobody likes to live with strangers. Therefore, if you don't trust the person, draw the necessary conclusion from this: you don't know that person and, consequently, you don't REALLY like them (and love them even less).
It's simple if you apply a little logic. The problem is that people love to fool themselves.
That's why the only essential condition for a relationship of any kind is to establish true INTIMACY, that is, to know someone deeply enough for him to stop being a stranger.
Intimacy takes time, there is no way to speed up the process, don't try to get around that fact. Either you're willing to take the time to REALLY get to know someone, or you're better off going it alone.
The romantic idea that opposites attract is false. A jack-in-the-box relationship, where you never know what to expect from someone, isn't opening the doors to adventure, it's opening the doors to hell. There is no surprise in that
such a wisdom
More people should learn about this
Thank you Dr. Gottman this is important to know and remember in our relationships!
but i see you write it all alone
Very interesting!
If there is love bond between partners it will be enough to continue to float on water together when their bridge is torn down. Bridge is trust. Water is life. Love is their raft. Watch very carefully what your thoughts are about your partner: is she or he seen as an enemy? A rival? If so turn your attention to the feelings of love and view from that perspective
Keyword: Parental Alienation by Dr Craig Childress and Amy Baker
Dr Gottman, Based on this video about trust, I would recommend you retrain some of your counselors. "Can I trust you to choose me over your friends, can I trust you to respect me" (your words in this video), rewording this in feelings might be expressed as "that I can't trust you based on your past behavior of breaking my trust and never having these broken trusts repaired, I feel irrelevant".
Is there somewhere we can see this full speech/talk?
Interesting!
This man might just save my love life
I think the background music was a little bit too loud. But otherwise liked the video!
I trust that he is always going to put sports ahead of me, ahead of his mother, ahead of anyone.
So sad. I understand.
Keywords: 7 pre-programmed micro Expressions, body language, vocal intonation and word usage.
Could have listened to the trust issue from DR Gottman for a lot longer! That wasn't enough!
i like this video,saying of a wise man huh
1:11 Children in adults bodies. The use of manipulation and control by their adult-child-parent (children raising children) is causing "Arrested Development" in the child not to emotionally mature. This is why age not stage is important and should be recognized in the school & Mental Health systems.
This puts cognitive distortions in the adult-child so that they are not able to understand their true emotions in themselves for in other relationships. Putting the adult-child (Arrested development) into a relationship of power control or coercive control. "Coercive Control" is now illegal in England as of 2015 then in Wales, Scotland, Ireland and Paris.
This is why John Gottman's data is always skewed throughout these many years. He needs to add to the equation of cognitive distortions such as gaslighting, bread crumbing, future faking and other non-scientific street terms. One day these will be codified and put into regular psychological medical terms.
We can't even trust the country we live in!!!
Said a whole lot of nothing
Only if you're a brick wall...