it’s very clear you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and i’m so excited to see the content you put out from here- hope you can find a way to make this job feel better for yourself, we love ya over here!
We appreciate you speaking out and just know that your words really resonate with us and we can see how you've held yourself accountable in terms of self-actualization. We would be glad to have you back but only if it isn't a detriment to your mental health, hopefully you find what is comfortable for you to do and just know that we can't wait to see what you'll come back with.
no matter what, put yourself first. if the channel helps you, then great. if the channel isn't good for you, then it is what it is. its always more important to make sure you're ok.
you really got negative with your content when it came to commentary. im happy youre changing and you really do bring me so much joy as a viewer and fan. i would love to see more silly content where youre just you without all of the weird toxicity you can find w commentary content
You can't make "I've been trying to grow out facial hair and I didn't want my viewers to see the awkward phase" your only reason for not doing yt for half a year, nick
@@jackalexande he's made the joke but it's a film and TV trope that's been around forever so I don't think that he came up with it himself. Could be wrong 🤷
Nick showed up with the "My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession" look
nick, i’ve criticized you during that controversy, but i do not hate you or think what you did should define you as a person for the rest of your life. someone out there disagrees with me on that, i’m sure. i would love to believe there are simply good people & bad people. it would make life so much easier, but it’s a naive belief that far too many people carry. i don’t think you are what you did. i can only hope you’ve learned from it - and can come to terms with the fact that some people will literally never care how much you’ve grown or how sorry you are. that’s all. wishing you well.
Couldnt have said it better myself. Its important to call each other out when someone does wrong so that in the future they can learn. Yet a lot of people are misguided and think only in black and white. We have all done some stupid shit and luckily its not all out there for the world to see. We are all human at the end of the day and the its important to give opportunities for growth. If Nick didnt grow from this and correct his behaviour this would be a different story. He was given an opportunity to be better and figured it out in the end which is the most important part.
I'm one of your older subscribers and my heart goes out to you because I did not grow up online. Along the way as a subscriber it's always been clear that your intentions are good. Please be kind to yourself because no one is perfect. Gramma out ✌️
When the majority of us make mistakes they don't crawl into every corner of our lives. That's fucking rough man. Yes we need to be held accountable for our mistakes, but this situation obviously went way beyond that. I'm glad this has made you reflect though. I'm excited to see what's next from you dude, and seeing you having the time of your life with Queef Jerky has been really cool
Bro this is how all creators feel when held accountable for they’re mistakes. It is what comes with having so many eyes on you. This is the stuff Nick puts people through so weird that he cannot handle it.
He literally skirted all responsibility of his bad actions I don't agree with the level of toxicity towards him but he does not deserve a yt career based on his continued actions
this was not a small mistake when it affected a very large group of ppl. i did not like the way he addressed the situation and how he continues to address it. it saddened me when i felt no longer comfortable watching his videos when we were given a glimpse of his true behavior off screen. yes, ppl make mistakes. but i can say for sure, i and anyone i know would not have made that mistake he made, it is not okay to sweep it under the rug. ofc ppl can take anything too far online, but if you don’t want all the eyes on you so you can get away w things like this, don’t be a youtuber. i’m saying this from a place of love and understanding we are all human, but i rlly don’t know why he’s surprised ppl no longer enjoy watching his content. reap what you sow
glad you took a break nick - i def think you needed it. everyone makes mistakes, and in the grand scheme of youtuber fuck-ups, at least in my opinion, your fuck up isn’t the worst one in the world. take more time off if you need to, and breathe. your wellbeing is much more important than content creation. the audience that wants to hear you out will, no matter how long it takes. also, the commentary space has been especially negative as of late, so the harmful content you were making was kinda…par for the course? unfortunately? hopefully the space can change soon enough.
the two videos you made two years ago about your experience with death on the second channel have stuck with me to this day. the honesty and openness you showed there was something i really needed during that time. i was disappointed a lot by your mistakes but mostly because i knew that that version of you was out there. i'm happy you're feeling better about yourself and how you can contribute to the community. be well and best of luck.
thank you so much. that video i made is still so important to me and i hope i can talk about my growth spiritually again soon. i appreciate your thoughts!!
The internets way of addressing mistakes and controversies is so unhealthy. The internet will never let mistakes go unnoticed and it’s extremely unhealthy and abnormal. People who vehemently criticize and repeatedly bring up old events aren’t helping anyone. No one has a perfect history and we have all said things we shouldn’t have but most are lucky enough to not have them immortalized online.
Nick is every bad thing you just mentioned. It was like his whole thing. He flourished off of the way UA-cam and social media address mistakes, Ruined lives, and was justly met with the same treatment he had been dishing out on everyone else
I loved the Now Alert news thing you tried out. Really loved it. It was great. To me, it felt like a mix of commentary and analog horror, and I love those two genres and it would be great to see more of that.
i think you are one of the best examples of someone who has actually taken their audience’s feedback to heart. the break was necessary and i’m really excited for the new and improved content :)
Nick, you were my favorite youtuber for a while. You probably don't remember, but you replied to a couple of the comments I made on your videos last year and I was so happy it was unreal. I remember going around and showing my friends that my favorite youtuber replied to MY comments. When the whole controversy happened, I was really sad that your had changed into more negative things when i loved how real, funny, and happy your content was. I am so glad that you have taken time to better yourself, we all need that. I hope you can put your anxieties about the past behind you, because I'm working on doing the same and I know how hard it is. Can't wait to see where your content goes, but I just wanted to let you know that I missed you. Have a great day
honestly, i've always held sympathy for you. what were you supposed to do? your friend/s asked for help and you believed it. it wasn't smart, but you thought it was what was right and i can't fault you for that.
i appreciate the sympathy a lot. i do think that most of my mistakes were in the way i responded after making that initial video. i was given so many chances to make things right and it took me so much longer than i should. either way, thank you so much for your kind words.
People are taking out their anger on you. I'm sorry you might not want to hear it cause youre on your journey but I don't think you did anything wrong. It actually pisses me off cause yea you can work on things , but when my friend got assaulted, I ended up in the hospital for trying to defend her once I found out what happened. They're treating you like you're the one who did it ?!!!? You're a good man for standing up for your friend and there was a lot oversite from everyone else in the "drama"
that’s also how I saw the situation, didn’t understand why everyone was so mean and rude abt it when it was a mistake. Like u said he believed a FRIEND. U worded it nicely :)
@@sandragreer1120 thank you for your thoughts. yes, i acted quick with anger initially because i felt angry for my friend and wanted to defend them. i wanted to do the right thing, but admitting fault to the way i treated the situation meant turning on my friends and that took a long time for me to move past. i realize looking back that there are so many things i ignorantly posted and said after the initial video that were purely out of anger and defensiveness. i regret not making a more mature decision even after the first video. anyways…… thanks for the support!!
@@hesaidusIt may have been shitty but a couple of bad videos or mistakes don’t define you. You are still young and interpersonal conflicts like this happen in your 20s, the only difference is that there’s a magnifying glass on you because of you are a public person. While you did make some mistakes I personally think you were slightly used by some people in your life and you became the one who took all the hits. I have criticized you before but you as a person are not the couple of hours of youtube the public sees- thats only one side of you. I think you are a genuine person and I really think that matters.
You were extremely cruel to people as your job, and you were called out, rightfully so. You're human, and growth is always happening, but you'll always leave a sour taste in most people's mouths
Would have been nice to see less on how you feel and more understanding how it must have felt to be the people incorrectly accused and how stressful and horrible it was for them
I honestly get upset at all the people continuously bringing up the controversy in your/dev’s comments. I can’t even imagine how much it must hurt, like, I am not even you but I still notice the comments. imo a lot of people have reallly overblown what you did (not that you didn’t do anything wrong- but the hate comments are so unproductive). your fans are still here I promise. I miss your videos a lot, I hope you are doing better.
yeah, a big reason i initially stopped was because of how dev was being treated online because of my actions. knowing that my actions caused people to overshadow her work with my mistakes is still really hard for me to move past. thank you for your thoughts!
Big agree. It's not that he did nothing wrong, but people still act like he did something unforgivable. And it's extremely counterproductive to give Dev shit about it in her own comments when she had nothing to do with the situation and her videos are completely different than what Nick made. Disproportionate is a good way to describe it.
i’m so happy (and relieved) that all of the comments thus far are all positive and welcoming. i’m a firm believer in restorative justice for you and all other people involved who make mistakes in one way or another. i’m glad you’re back, and i really hope you can push through whatever initial struggles you may face in your return.
I absolutely believe that most people are capable of change and that most people do deserve a second chance. They may not be entitled to it but I don’t see the point of holding on to something negative when that person is trying to better themselves and bring positivity.
The first time I saw you was after a kurtis conner stream where he raided your stream. It was so so different then and I loved it. Definitely saw you explode in popularity and saw how it affected you in a negative way. I felt your stress. I agree with you saying that it took this big of an event for you to take a step back and re-evaluate, and I’m proud of you for doing the hard work. None of us are perfect and most of us have the benefit of our mistakes not being publicized. I hope you are doing ok, genuinely, and if youtube brings you joy then do it. If it doesn’t, no one would blame you for that. Take care of yourself and know that you brought lots of people some good times and laughs.
Taking care of yourself and your mental health will (should) always be your top priority. Most people in the world dont have a platform, don't have so many people scrutinizing your every move. Humans weren't built for this kind of exposure. Even a harsh boss can sometimes be better than the criticism people on the internet recieve. Do your thing, in your time. Be you. Focus on you and your life, and don't let your job suck you in completely. And remember that you'll always have people who DO notice when you're gone. I've been wondering the whole time. Just take care of yourself. We'll be here. You'll be there. Give yourself some rules surrounding what you interact with on the internet, etc. ❤
i appreciate you. its been hard to separate my mental health from the way i feel about work, but i am continually trying to feel better without needing validation from youtube
@hesaidus never feel bad about taking time for yourself. It's really important. Seek validation from yourself, and treat yourself how you would want someone to treat you. I wish you luck in anything you do.
One of the reasons I like your channel(s) is these kinds of very open and vulnerable videos. I'm glad you're able to put yourself out there again, you've been missed.
Being the internet’s enemy of the week is a torture nobody understands until they’ve been through it or seen a loved one go through it. The level of pain caused by people just dogpiling for fun can be incredibly traumatizing. Seeing a loved one go through something similar completely changed how I see the world and how I engage with the internet. Anyway, I hope to see more content from you about issues you like instead of dunking on other creators’ mistakes. Welcome back!
I always loved your unique, fun videos more than the commentary on other creators. The water influencer, the ventriloquism, your music, talking about your fears of death or your trouble with sleep, and especially the Fellowship Covenant, ugh, that was my favorite thing on the internet while it existed. Everyone makes mistakes, the internet just loves to destroy people. But the mob will come for every one of those people at some point as well, since no one is perfect.
Hey man i was one of the people that criticized you and seeing you confronting and talking about the situation its obvious youve matured a lot and im looking forward to seeing come back.
Nick, I think it was really great that you were able to take a break and reflect. A lot of people online make really dumb mistakes and and/or say the wrong things, but the difference with you is that you know how to make a real apology and cut out all the unnecessary bs. I'm really glad you are able to navigate back to why you love doing UA-cam so much. I have nothing but support for you and Dev. Do what makes you happy and we will always be here for you.
i get you so bad it hurts i see your growth and i understand it more intimately than i feel i could ever convey meaningfully. this type of anxiety is so common for me, so seeing someone else talk about it, like confessing you recognize your mistake but still arent able to process it in a way you feel you could forgive yourself by is one of the most stark, paralyzing pains/fears I have. all I want is to do right by others, and knowing i failed on that and knowing I hurt someone through actions or words that, even if I feel they deserve it, was not productive and just added salt to a wound that I should have used like rubbing alcohol on (its a funny analogy I know its stupid). idk how to convey it really but I hope you know even though your growth hurts, there are people who can also grow just by seeing your vulnerability around it.
@@hesaidus i used to be closeted and was very confined to my family conservative perspective so I've lived my life messing up for others which has partially contributed to what now manifests as an all consuming battle with anxiety trying to untether my families ideology and come into my own and in the wake of that I've had to really deal with some shit I've done and said in the past. I'm still young I'm only 18 but growth seems to come slower for me despite it feeling like I put all my time energy and effort into it
@@hesaidus i hope you can find forgiveness for yourself because it's definitely arduous, but you're the only person with the power to forgive yourself, otherwise you are solely burdening yourself with the wight of what you did wrong when you already have the nutrients to grow from it
All you can do is live your life I've always appreciated your honesty man try and take it easy. I think we all know you want to do the right thing. Being a influencer has its cost. Keep going dude you are on the right path.
One of the beautiful things about being human is that we aren't perfect, and the only way we can grow sometimes is by fucking up and learning from it. I'm glad you're making your way back to doing something you love to do.
You trusted a friend, you acted on pure emotions as most of us would. You screwed up but I think you’ve grown and I’m happy for that, I unsubscribed when the controversy hit but I’ll subscribe again. I really hope that you recover from the controversy and that you become a better creator and person because of it.
not sure if anyone will see this lol, but just for the record: i've been subscribed for years now (since around the first collab with danny gonzalez) and although the mistakes you made did warrant some fair criticism, the resulting dogpile got really out of hand. glad you're doing better -- we'll be here whenever you're ready :)
Listen bro, i watch all those commentary channels that shit on you. I honestly feel like you're overthinking it man. You fucked up, but owned up to it. You lost a friend. You went thru shit. This builds your depth as a character almost, it made me more interested not less. In fact, i found this interesting. I always watched your drama content and you seemed really lighthearted about it. Maybe quit trying to make the perfect shit and just make simple honest shit. This was fine man. Keep your head up
This was a really good explanation Nick. I did stop watching your videos when the content started to shift, but it is so refreshing to see an actual apology from a UA-camr. Everyone says dumb/mean things sometimes, but it's important to recognize when you've said those things and actively work to change it. Focusing on what you WANT to make is a great mindset to have. I'm happy to support your channel again and excited to see what new content you put out :)
please do some actually cool and inventive content like drew gooden. don’t keep being a “commentary” channel that profits off of gossip and other peoples’ misery. one thing that always bothered me was calling a girl with a japenese bf a fetishist. comments like this are awful and careless and frankly their relationship isn’t your business. please do better and be creative and put something out that matters.
i agree but i wouldn't say like drew gooden because he has enough copycats already too. i really liked what he was doing with the news report thing he had going on
@@__AbAbeoh totally i agree and i get that. i just meant it as an example: someone who is inventive, who can “commentate” without just pumping out “drama” videos on the same topic everyone else is discussing without adding much.
I have a lot of respect for you for being able to share these feelings, and for how much care and attention you put into looking back at yourself. I think the nature of being human involves a lot of mistakes and imperfections and what matters most is that we care about being good people moving forward. I can imagine how fun but also haunting being a youtuber might be especially as someone with anxiety or intrusive thoughts. The line can quickly blur between something being a hobby we do for fun, or being a stressful obligation we do for a career that is constantly under scrutiny by numerous strangers. You worded it really well when you explained how hate messages can be so hard to ignore when your career hinges on validation from strangers online. I feel like no matter how much support a person gets, negative feedback always sticks in our minds much more than anyone else... and I feel like as viewers, people don't often think to point out the good in something because they take it for granted. I really enjoy your videos and I have a lot of respect for how you treat them. I think you seem like a really mature and thoughtful person who cares about being good to others. I hope you can find that happy balance to create things that you love because you love to do it, and there'll be people here to support you 🫡
been here for a while nick, i hope things get better dude. i went to the queef jerky tour in atlanta it was awsome asf, and i cant wait to see what youll do with the channel
I truly have so much respect for you and a deep appreciation for the place that you and your content hold on youtube. I have always felt that the super mega situation was poorly handled but always with the best of intentions and I think that your ability to self reflect and make genuine lasting change is near unparalleled. Thank you for being you, you are inspiring to me
thank you for continuing to perform and do queef jerky that concert in seattle was one of the best concerts i’ve ever been to i truly hope you and dev and chelsea can find some peace and happiness and creativity soon 💚 QUEEFERS FOREVER!!!!!!
i know you didn't do absolutely nothing wrong, but there's a disproportionate amount of criticism coming from people that seem to act like they don't understand that you are also human. you made mistakes, you didn't murder someone like it appears people are making it out as
I can feel the genuineness in the way you speak, and I think you should keep trying if it is what you want to do. I also think that you could move forward trying to find a new way that’s even better instead of getting back to the old way
I remember falling upon your videos through kurtis and danny collabs. I remember checking your work out and seeing you make videos about games you loved and a 1 hour mixtape of your music. i loved seeing the passion you had for these things. when you dived into drama and controversies, i saw that that skyrocketed your views, but after a while i couldnt see that passion you used to have. so it was really heartbreaking when the SM stuff happened, it was almost like i didnt recognize the youtuber i loved over time. Im glad you took a step back and time off and really apologized in the end and i hope to see that old nick show a little more now :)
thanks for posting this. i relate so much to the life consuming anxiety and i really really hope you can find your footing in content creation again. ive been a viewer since 2021 and ill stick around for whatever you decide to do next! the internet always takes things so far and it really saddens me to see how youve been so affected in all these ways i really think youve always had good intentions man literally noone is free of mistakes but content creators are held to this ridiculous standard of perfection and its like if you fuck up once youre the worst person ever for the rest of your career? but there will always be people who will stick around and support you because were all just humans ..idk im rambling. im excited to see what you put out next :)
So understandable. Making mistakes is part of growing, and the repercussions of mistakes on youtube are intensified so harshly. For those who can handle it, the growth can be immense: there's so many truly considerate youtubers out there, and it comes from making mistakes, being called out and learning. I could never handle it that's for damn sure, but I hope you come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more open to criticism (unlike me, who would come out on the otherside like a beached jellyfish)
Compared to a lot of the things going on on UA-cam, this situation always felt so blown out of proportion. It was a mistake, but it wasn’t half as bad as other allegations. Glad to see you took time off and want to grow
Considering the deafening silence from other parties, you coming out with all your cards on the table is really strong, and I'm really looking forward to Nick in his redemption/self exploratory era :)
i outgrew your videos, especially after the controversy. i am willing to keep an open mind to you, as you are growing as a person. the videos you make that are “commentary” just seem like teenage gossip and playing on the downfall of others with little commentary, more like a news channel. i do think the drama was blown out of proportion however, and i am sorry you were treated like that by the internet. i am keeping an eye on your channels at the moment to see if there may be content i will like or not. the internet is too harsh, and forgets things they shouldn’t and holds on to things that need to be let go.
@@hesaidus of course. many people deserve second chances, and the internet doesn’t tend to give them so i try my best to. while i may have outgrown your content, depending on if the future content is for me or not, as a human you simply made a mistake. we all do.
real shit man,, i think u did ok all things considered,, u were a good friend when it mattered,, n when it was time 2 zoom out n look at it all,, u did the right thing,, n when it got 2 much u self analyzed heavily enough 2 realize u needed 2 step away entirely ur gonna be ok bro,, wherever all of this takes u
gonna be completely honest, used to be a viewer, had a shitty comment typed out because of how your platform was utilized when i stopped watching, glad i decided to listen to the first couple minutes. the vulnerability is beyond respectable and you did a really good job hitting on things and pointing out potential negative feelings people could have while still properly voicing your struggles. as long as the content is still quality you got a viewer back and im sure i speak for a lot of people, proud of ya for the growth man
The origin of the word "courage" comes from the word "cour", which mean heart, and it means to completely share your story with your whole heart. - Brené Brown. Keep being courageous and vulnerable Nick!
complete honesty here, it was tough to see this incredible community you built over the years kind of slowly go away. being a part of the community since 2020, seeing you grow from 1,000 subscribers to 10,000 to 100,000 and so on, seeing this awesome loving community be built up, it was incredible and I have so many great memories from then of like 2020 and 2021, and I even met some of the most important people in my life from the community. but after a point, I definitely understood why the streaming got too stressful and you had to stop, cause it's obviously much harder to maintain the same kind of tight-knit community when the community itself grew so large. I've more recently come to realize just how important community is in life, and I really missed the one we had here and it seems like you do too. so I really hope that you are able to figure out how to invest in the communal stuff again that also isn't a burden on your mental health. it's a balance. no matter what though, I'll be sticking along to see whatever it is you decide to do next dude
I really appreciate that you were able to step back and take some time to think about your relationship with the internet. I’ve been watching your videos for a couple years now and I’m so happy that you’re back! I hope you can have fun with whatever videos you decide to make next.
hey nick! i was just thinking about your content and how you’re one of the creators i miss watching! glad to see you’re back and i am glad you took some time for yourself and your mental health! for every horrible comment there will be more heartwarming ones and i hope this can be one of them! keep working through the things you need to at your own pace and remember your real community will be there for you! welcome back!
ive always admired your videos and your music, ive decided to appreciate my hair and grow it out just so it could look like yours, youve always had my support and you will continue to have it
I’ve made some fucked up decisions and took the time to work on myself and am better today. I also didn’t have my mistakes bled into every aspect of my life. I am always compassionate to someone who is willing to put the effort in any try to fix their mistakes and be a better person.
Good to see you again. Your situation lately has been my go-to example as to how utterly disproportionate and vicious the internet hate can be to someone who had made a mistake. I miss your content a lot. You and Dev seem to have a really beautiful friendship and it's sad that was affected by this situation.
I’m happy to see you online again. I relied heavily on your videos for a mental boost when I was doing it rough a few years back. I understand the criticism you got, and I’m glad you seem to have taken it to heart and used it to learn and grow. That’s all I ask if you make a mistake. I hope you find your comfortable space online again soon, and I’ll be here watching.
I deal with severe depersonalization I really relate to your struggle of having this anxiety that encompasses your entire being and life. It feels inescapable when who you think you are and who you are to many people doesn’t feel like you anymore
I respect this change and this willingness to put this out and keep making videos, what happened was justified and completely reasonable on the internets side and I'm glad you have matured enough to fully understand that and why it happened the way it did, it's very important as a society to let people change and grow and even more see you say "I want to do what I like, for myself, and hopefully some people enjoy it too" it's very respectable, I was somebody who shit on you but I'm glad to see you saying this and I hope you can gather a new fanbase around what you like doing, its funny to me that the one person i thought was the worst in the whole thing has now turned out to be the best easily, and the only one that has shown they can change, i know you may not endorse this, but fuck ethanisonline, that guy acts like a tool and you were right to separate yourself from those people i promise
Anyone who can’t see that you actually care about how this affected people, just doesn’t actually care. All the people hating just want to focus on the old videos and things you’ve said in the past, it’s clear to me that you actually feel bad about what you did. I think you taking time away from UA-cam and thinking about everything is really important. I have been a fan for years, and though I do agree the super mega situation was pretty fucked up, you clearly feel bad about it. You’ve lost a lot of fans but I’ll be sticking around. I’d love to see you make more random content and not have anything controversial and super serious. Edit: you should start the you cringe you smoke back up. Miss the old content. I’d love to see you stream again, and I’d like to see more content that isn’t surrounded by what’s gonna get lots of attention.
im someone who watched from the outside and it warms my heart seeing you grow. truly this is all i could ask for out of you, i think if you truly do go down this path you will be FAR better off in the longterm. because you didnt hide, you didnt cower, you manned up and admitted you fucked up. i wont lie if i was you i would probably have made the same mistake given the circumstances i dont blame u entirely for what happened initially, i know u were just trusting your friends but theres a saying my mom always told me “those aren’t your friends , they only care about you when you can do something for them, after that they WILL leave you.” and shit she wasnt wrong - not just from personal but also from acquaintances that i grew up with that are in like jail dead or fucked up with no room for growth cuz their mentalities are so… stuck in their ways..
and logically of course not all your friends are bad no doubt you probably have some people in your corner looking out for you, keep those people close!
hi nick :3 im glad to see ur back and im excited to see ur new content to go along with ur new attitude, i never really understood fully what happened but i missed you!!
Excited for what you are working on next and it’s great to see you are doing better. I really hope that path continues and that you are able to cultivate a better environment around work for yourself. You got this man
really missed you nick. i know it probably felt/feels like everyone turned on you, but please remember that there are so many longtime fans like myself who are so happy to hear that you’ve grown and want to return. i’m genuinely so excited to see what you do next 💜
im really proud of your growth Nick! i have been a subscriber for awhile, and during the whole controversy i admit, i was pretty disappointed, but its clear to me now that you have grown so much and truly took the steps to improve yourself! we are all excited to see you continue to better yourself, and we support you! im personally really excited to see the future of your channel(s) and especially projects like queef jerky. best of luck mate!
i think it's really admirable that you're so open about your personal growth and the things you've realized you wanted to change about your behavior and content. as someone who has been watching you for the last three years i just wanna say its really cool to see you prioritize your wellbeing in the ways you know how and attempt to do this in a way that makes you happier. you deserve that shit
I originally started watching your smoking videos and playing along (has always been a blast). Im jot going to sit hear and say it’s okay that you did what you did bc its not ofc but also at the same time you can only say sorry so many times I understand that many people’s opinion on you has changed and that’s okay too. It doesn’t matter if you have a social platform or if you don’t not everyone is going to like you and that’s hard to live with because those people still make it known. But honestly just keep changing for the better if you’re aware that it’s wrong don’t do it again. Be who you want to be unapologetically if you know you want change do it! You got this excited to see where you go from here dude!
hey nick. glad to see you. i know you're trying hard and i think the amount of thought and care you're taking is already more than many youtubers that hit similar snags. it's one step at a time. take care ❤
i could not imagine my every action and decision being watched by so many people. everyone makes mistakes and misuses their position at a point. it’s hard to always do the right thing, and sometimes it’s hard to think clearly through every part of an action. people forget that celebrities are also just real human people at the end of the day. i’m glad you’re back man, hope you are at a comfortable place and that you can keep your head up!
Youre one of my favorite content creators Nick, although i (maybe biased) think your controversy was blown out of proportion, i still find it admirable how you've gone about dealing with it. Saw you at your last show in LA and it was such a blast, i cant wait to catch another Queef show and im excited for your future content here too 🫶🫶🫶
So much respect to you for acknowledging your mistakes, taking the time you need to regroup, and coming back. Honestly so excited to see your new content!
I can definitely relate to youthful bravado leaving once you get older. Right out of high school I peaked in confidence. Passionately approaching the world like I knew everything. Kind of like the Dunning-Kruger effect, I didn't know the scope of what I didn't know. This made social interactions so much easier, as I assume YT videos would also be. Our youth also gives us a ton of leeway to make mistakes and still be taken seriously, or just not be taken seriously in the first place xD. It takes a lot more effort to apply yourself when you have more of yourself to apply. There is a tough balance of applying new skills and overthinking though. Just keep putting yourself out there and it will progress!
I think this is going to come off as patronizing, but it's good to see your growing. I could feel the toxic undervibes in your content. As someone who had been in a similar space i thought and hoped that you would make your way through it. And you're doing it. Terrible people have come back to UA-cam and had a career. You're not a terrible person. I think there are a lot of people who will stick around to see what you do next. The Internet is scary af. Truly. I an afraid of it. You were strong to be so vulnerable.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. Here to watch your content no matter what you decide to do with it next/if you decide to move forward. Either way, thank you for the time and energy you’ve put into your platform for our viewing pleasure over the years!
Nick I’ve been watching since damn near the beginning of your channel and been aware of you even longer through other UA-camrs work. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more willing to be open and honest with their audience than you. You have honestly been a huge inspiration to both me and my sibling. The way you’ve been so open about your mental health has inspired me to be more open about mine. Your willingness to admit when you were wrong is amazing to see in a sea of half hearted apologies and egos. And Even something on the sillier side like queef jerky has made me feel like I can be weirder and looser with my own music And has shown me ways of appreciating music that I never thought of before. I’ve seen live footage of the concerts and it’s insanely admirable how confident you are on stage. That’s truly something beautiful you and dev are building even if it’s a lotta jokes. Not to mention the fact You’ve made me laugh through some of the darkest times of my life. This is all to say that I’m proud of you Nick and I’m happy to see you back. Thank you for everything your content has done for me. And I can’t wait to see all the stuff you do next
I’ve had this type of anxiety before with being behind the camera. I really appreciate you vocalizing it. Pressing record in itself is an accomplishment sometimes. I hope sometime you can turn off the noise. I think we can get so overstimulated in this virtual era. It can be uncomfortable to be so connected and disconnected at the same time when you’re so focused on the numbers. Wishing you the best, because I do miss your content ❤️ Hope this message can send some encouragement. & Thank you for sharing your experience.
i’ve been following you for three years now- thank you for actually being honest and courageous. put your mental health first and focus on yourself, as that’s the most important thing. everything will be okay eventually ❤
i appreciate the growth you’ve gone through and taken yourself and your actions seriously in ways many youtubers never ever will, we do miss your content but bringing together the person you are online and the person you are offline into a realistic balance is much more important that trying to use this platform as an escape from responsibility for mistakes
Wishing you all the best Nick! The internet can be crazy especially when people make mistakes. Forgive yourself! I like your videos and your creativity. Good luck.
hi. appreciate you all. let me know what you think and hopefully i will be posting more soon.
it’s very clear you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and i’m so excited to see the content you put out from here- hope you can find a way to make this job feel better for yourself, we love ya over here!
We appreciate you speaking out and just know that your words really resonate with us and we can see how you've held yourself accountable in terms of self-actualization. We would be glad to have you back but only if it isn't a detriment to your mental health, hopefully you find what is comfortable for you to do and just know that we can't wait to see what you'll come back with.
no matter what, put yourself first. if the channel helps you, then great. if the channel isn't good for you, then it is what it is. its always more important to make sure you're ok.
you really got negative with your content when it came to commentary. im happy youre changing and you really do bring me so much joy as a viewer and fan. i would love to see more silly content where youre just you without all of the weird toxicity you can find w commentary content
@@gabrielthaoneI agree about the negativity. As far as I know he didn't do anything that bad otherwise.
You can't make "I've been trying to grow out facial hair and I didn't want my viewers to see the awkward phase" your only reason for not doing yt for half a year, nick
😭😭
was it that obvious:/
Srsly it's like his whole personality rn
@@hesaidusyeah… do better 😡🤬
He looks cute though
He has a beard so you can tell time has passed.
isn't that a john mulaney joke?
Yes @@jackalexande
@@jackalexande he's made the joke but it's a film and TV trope that's been around forever so I don't think that he came up with it himself. Could be wrong 🤷
Nick showed up with the "My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession" look
PLEASE
LMFAO OMG STOPPPPP😭😭😭😭😭
Stop lmfaoooo
nick, i’ve criticized you during that controversy, but i do not hate you or think what you did should define you as a person for the rest of your life. someone out there disagrees with me on that, i’m sure. i would love to believe there are simply good people & bad people. it would make life so much easier, but it’s a naive belief that far too many people carry. i don’t think you are what you did. i can only hope you’ve learned from it - and can come to terms with the fact that some people will literally never care how much you’ve grown or how sorry you are. that’s all. wishing you well.
perfectly said
Couldnt have said it better myself. Its important to call each other out when someone does wrong so that in the future they can learn. Yet a lot of people are misguided and think only in black and white. We have all done some stupid shit and luckily its not all out there for the world to see. We are all human at the end of the day and the its important to give opportunities for growth. If Nick didnt grow from this and correct his behaviour this would be a different story. He was given an opportunity to be better and figured it out in the end which is the most important part.
Exactly how I feel.
what was the controversy?
Dude you need to get life ,y are u so invested in youtube drama???
I'm one of your older subscribers and my heart goes out to you because I did not grow up online. Along the way as a subscriber it's always been clear that your intentions are good. Please be kind to yourself because no one is perfect. Gramma out ✌️
this is such a beautiful sentiment ❤️
thank you for sticking around!!
Gramma out!
@@hesaiduswe miss youuu. i still rewatch all ur “you cringe, you smoke” livestreams
Same. I would never recover if my whole life was online.
When the majority of us make mistakes they don't crawl into every corner of our lives. That's fucking rough man. Yes we need to be held accountable for our mistakes, but this situation obviously went way beyond that. I'm glad this has made you reflect though. I'm excited to see what's next from you dude, and seeing you having the time of your life with Queef Jerky has been really cool
Bro this is how all creators feel when held accountable for they’re mistakes. It is what comes with having so many eyes on you. This is the stuff Nick puts people through so weird that he cannot handle it.
He literally skirted all responsibility of his bad actions I don't agree with the level of toxicity towards him but he does not deserve a yt career based on his continued actions
yeah but our mistakes dont ruin other ppls life jesus talk about a victim card
this was not a small mistake when it affected a very large group of ppl. i did not like the way he addressed the situation and how he continues to address it. it saddened me when i felt no longer comfortable watching his videos when we were given a glimpse of his true behavior off screen. yes, ppl make mistakes. but i can say for sure, i and anyone i know would not have made that mistake he made, it is not okay to sweep it under the rug. ofc ppl can take anything too far online, but if you don’t want all the eyes on you so you can get away w things like this, don’t be a youtuber. i’m saying this from a place of love and understanding we are all human, but i rlly don’t know why he’s surprised ppl no longer enjoy watching his content. reap what you sow
Cringe asf
glad you took a break nick - i def think you needed it.
everyone makes mistakes, and in the grand scheme of youtuber fuck-ups, at least in my opinion, your fuck up isn’t the worst one in the world. take more time off if you need to, and breathe. your wellbeing is much more important than content creation. the audience that wants to hear you out will, no matter how long it takes.
also, the commentary space has been especially negative as of late, so the harmful content you were making was kinda…par for the course? unfortunately? hopefully the space can change soon enough.
Facts
it wasn’t the worst in the sense that it was a crime but that it led to the weaponization of a sexual assault
They nearly ruined someones life but u do u
the two videos you made two years ago about your experience with death on the second channel have stuck with me to this day. the honesty and openness you showed there was something i really needed during that time. i was disappointed a lot by your mistakes but mostly because i knew that that version of you was out there. i'm happy you're feeling better about yourself and how you can contribute to the community. be well and best of luck.
thank you so much. that video i made is still so important to me and i hope i can talk about my growth spiritually again soon. i appreciate your thoughts!!
Absolutely agree 10000000%
100% agree
The internets way of addressing mistakes and controversies is so unhealthy. The internet will never let mistakes go unnoticed and it’s extremely unhealthy and abnormal. People who vehemently criticize and repeatedly bring up old events aren’t helping anyone. No one has a perfect history and we have all said things we shouldn’t have but most are lucky enough to not have them immortalized online.
This creator is a part of the Internet's unhealthy way of addressing controversy. And he's just going to go back to doing it again.
Unless you’re Cody ko 😹
Nick is every bad thing you just mentioned. It was like his whole thing. He flourished off of the way UA-cam and social media address mistakes, Ruined lives, and was justly met with the same treatment he had been dishing out on everyone else
I loved the Now Alert news thing you tried out. Really loved it. It was great. To me, it felt like a mix of commentary and analog horror, and I love those two genres and it would be great to see more of that.
Totally agree, I love when there’s creative twists and weird lore added to normal videos
agreed I loved the style
i think you are one of the best examples of someone who has actually taken their audience’s feedback to heart. the break was necessary and i’m really excited for the new and improved content :)
Nick, you were my favorite youtuber for a while. You probably don't remember, but you replied to a couple of the comments I made on your videos last year and I was so happy it was unreal. I remember going around and showing my friends that my favorite youtuber replied to MY comments. When the whole controversy happened, I was really sad that your had changed into more negative things when i loved how real, funny, and happy your content was. I am so glad that you have taken time to better yourself, we all need that. I hope you can put your anxieties about the past behind you, because I'm working on doing the same and I know how hard it is. Can't wait to see where your content goes, but I just wanted to let you know that I missed you. Have a great day
honestly, i've always held sympathy for you. what were you supposed to do? your friend/s asked for help and you believed it. it wasn't smart, but you thought it was what was right and i can't fault you for that.
i appreciate the sympathy a lot. i do think that most of my mistakes were in the way i responded after making that initial video. i was given so many chances to make things right and it took me so much longer than i should. either way, thank you so much for your kind words.
People are taking out their anger on you. I'm sorry you might not want to hear it cause youre on your journey but I don't think you did anything wrong. It actually pisses me off cause yea you can work on things , but when my friend got assaulted, I ended up in the hospital for trying to defend her once I found out what happened. They're treating you like you're the one who did it ?!!!? You're a good man for standing up for your friend and there was a lot oversite from everyone else in the "drama"
that’s also how I saw the situation, didn’t understand why everyone was so mean and rude abt it when it was a mistake. Like u said he believed a FRIEND. U worded it nicely :)
@@sandragreer1120 thank you for your thoughts. yes, i acted quick with anger initially because i felt angry for my friend and wanted to defend them. i wanted to do the right thing, but admitting fault to the way i treated the situation meant turning on my friends and that took a long time for me to move past. i realize looking back that there are so many things i ignorantly posted and said after the initial video that were purely out of anger and defensiveness. i regret not making a more mature decision even after the first video. anyways…… thanks for the support!!
@@hesaidusIt may have been shitty but a couple of bad videos or mistakes don’t define you. You are still young and interpersonal conflicts like this happen in your 20s, the only difference is that there’s a magnifying glass on you because of you are a public person. While you did make some mistakes I personally think you were slightly used by some people in your life and you became the one who took all the hits. I have criticized you before but you as a person are not the couple of hours of youtube the public sees- thats only one side of you. I think you are a genuine person and I really think that matters.
You were extremely cruel to people as your job, and you were called out, rightfully so. You're human, and growth is always happening, but you'll always leave a sour taste in most people's mouths
Would have been nice to see less on how you feel and more understanding how it must have felt to be the people incorrectly accused and how stressful and horrible it was for them
I honestly get upset at all the people continuously bringing up the controversy in your/dev’s comments. I can’t even imagine how much it must hurt, like, I am not even you but I still notice the comments. imo a lot of people have reallly overblown what you did (not that you didn’t do anything wrong- but the hate comments are so unproductive). your fans are still here I promise. I miss your videos a lot, I hope you are doing better.
big agree
I'm feeling so late here, what are people even talking about?
Yup. The amount of hate they got (and are still getting) wasn’t proportionate to their actions.
yeah, a big reason i initially stopped was because of how dev was being treated online because of my actions. knowing that my actions caused people to overshadow her work with my mistakes is still really hard for me to move past. thank you for your thoughts!
Big agree. It's not that he did nothing wrong, but people still act like he did something unforgivable. And it's extremely counterproductive to give Dev shit about it in her own comments when she had nothing to do with the situation and her videos are completely different than what Nick made. Disproportionate is a good way to describe it.
i’m so happy (and relieved) that all of the comments thus far are all positive and welcoming. i’m a firm believer in restorative justice for you and all other people involved who make mistakes in one way or another.
i’m glad you’re back, and i really hope you can push through whatever initial struggles you may face in your return.
I absolutely believe that most people are capable of change and that most people do deserve a second chance. They may not be entitled to it but I don’t see the point of holding on to something negative when that person is trying to better themselves and bring positivity.
That's cause he is filtering negative comments. My comments keep getting deleted.
The first time I saw you was after a kurtis conner stream where he raided your stream. It was so so different then and I loved it. Definitely saw you explode in popularity and saw how it affected you in a negative way. I felt your stress. I agree with you saying that it took this big of an event for you to take a step back and re-evaluate, and I’m proud of you for doing the hard work. None of us are perfect and most of us have the benefit of our mistakes not being publicized. I hope you are doing ok, genuinely, and if youtube brings you joy then do it. If it doesn’t, no one would blame you for that. Take care of yourself and know that you brought lots of people some good times and laughs.
i miss those days a lot!! i hope i can stream again and learn to enjoy it. thank you!!
Taking care of yourself and your mental health will (should) always be your top priority. Most people in the world dont have a platform, don't have so many people scrutinizing your every move. Humans weren't built for this kind of exposure. Even a harsh boss can sometimes be better than the criticism people on the internet recieve. Do your thing, in your time. Be you. Focus on you and your life, and don't let your job suck you in completely. And remember that you'll always have people who DO notice when you're gone. I've been wondering the whole time.
Just take care of yourself. We'll be here. You'll be there. Give yourself some rules surrounding what you interact with on the internet, etc. ❤
i appreciate you. its been hard to separate my mental health from the way i feel about work, but i am continually trying to feel better without needing validation from youtube
@hesaidus never feel bad about taking time for yourself. It's really important. Seek validation from yourself, and treat yourself how you would want someone to treat you.
I wish you luck in anything you do.
@@hesaidusbe safe boss
lots of mature thinking here definitely not just yapping brother. Happy to see your hairy face Nicky Tom Tom!!
thank you troy❤️❤️
Cringe
troyyy
One of the reasons I like your channel(s) is these kinds of very open and vulnerable videos. I'm glad you're able to put yourself out there again, you've been missed.
And I've been a subscriber for years now! You left a hole in my subscription tab
@@cookieintheinternet thank you :-)
Being the internet’s enemy of the week is a torture nobody understands until they’ve been through it or seen a loved one go through it. The level of pain caused by people just dogpiling for fun can be incredibly traumatizing. Seeing a loved one go through something similar completely changed how I see the world and how I engage with the internet. Anyway, I hope to see more content from you about issues you like instead of dunking on other creators’ mistakes. Welcome back!
I always loved your unique, fun videos more than the commentary on other creators. The water influencer, the ventriloquism, your music, talking about your fears of death or your trouble with sleep, and especially the Fellowship Covenant, ugh, that was my favorite thing on the internet while it existed. Everyone makes mistakes, the internet just loves to destroy people. But the mob will come for every one of those people at some point as well, since no one is perfect.
that means so much to me. i hope i can find inspiration to make goofy videos like that again.
FC podcast was so special to me
@@viktuuri it really was beautiful
Hey man i was one of the people that criticized you and seeing you confronting and talking about the situation its obvious youve matured a lot and im looking forward to seeing come back.
Nick, I think it was really great that you were able to take a break and reflect. A lot of people online make really dumb mistakes and and/or say the wrong things, but the difference with you is that you know how to make a real apology and cut out all the unnecessary bs. I'm really glad you are able to navigate back to why you love doing UA-cam so much. I have nothing but support for you and Dev. Do what makes you happy and we will always be here for you.
i get you so bad it hurts i see your growth and i understand it more intimately than i feel i could ever convey meaningfully. this type of anxiety is so common for me, so seeing someone else talk about it, like confessing you recognize your mistake but still arent able to process it in a way you feel you could forgive yourself by is one of the most stark, paralyzing pains/fears I have. all I want is to do right by others, and knowing i failed on that and knowing I hurt someone through actions or words that, even if I feel they deserve it, was not productive and just added salt to a wound that I should have used like rubbing alcohol on (its a funny analogy I know its stupid). idk how to convey it really but I hope you know even though your growth hurts, there are people who can also grow just by seeing your vulnerability around it.
this really resonated with me. thank you for sharing your thoughts :-)
@@hesaidus i used to be closeted and was very confined to my family conservative perspective so I've lived my life messing up for others which has partially contributed to what now manifests as an all consuming battle with anxiety trying to untether my families ideology and come into my own and in the wake of that I've had to really deal with some shit I've done and said in the past. I'm still young I'm only 18 but growth seems to come slower for me despite it feeling like I put all my time energy and effort into it
@@hesaidus i hope you can find forgiveness for yourself because it's definitely arduous, but you're the only person with the power to forgive yourself, otherwise you are solely burdening yourself with the wight of what you did wrong when you already have the nutrients to grow from it
missed you dude
All you can do is live your life I've always appreciated your honesty man try and take it easy. I think we all know you want to do the right thing. Being a influencer has its cost. Keep going dude you are on the right path.
One of the beautiful things about being human is that we aren't perfect, and the only way we can grow sometimes is by fucking up and learning from it. I'm glad you're making your way back to doing something you love to do.
You trusted a friend, you acted on pure emotions as most of us would. You screwed up but I think you’ve grown and I’m happy for that, I unsubscribed when the controversy hit but I’ll subscribe again. I really hope that you recover from the controversy and that you become a better creator and person because of it.
not sure if anyone will see this lol, but just for the record:
i've been subscribed for years now (since around the first collab with danny gonzalez) and although the mistakes you made did warrant some fair criticism, the resulting dogpile got really out of hand. glad you're doing better -- we'll be here whenever you're ready :)
thank you :-)
Listen bro, i watch all those commentary channels that shit on you. I honestly feel like you're overthinking it man. You fucked up, but owned up to it. You lost a friend. You went thru shit. This builds your depth as a character almost, it made me more interested not less. In fact, i found this interesting.
I always watched your drama content and you seemed really lighthearted about it. Maybe quit trying to make the perfect shit and just make simple honest shit. This was fine man. Keep your head up
I was just thinking about you today. Crazy! Glad to have you back!!
Weird same here !! The world works in mysterious ways
same wth
same, wtf😭
Me too lol that’s so weird
lots of love to you man
the irony to not be able to handle the very thing that he has done to others is immense.
love u and ur vids sm nick
This was a really good explanation Nick. I did stop watching your videos when the content started to shift, but it is so refreshing to see an actual apology from a UA-camr. Everyone says dumb/mean things sometimes, but it's important to recognize when you've said those things and actively work to change it. Focusing on what you WANT to make is a great mindset to have. I'm happy to support your channel again and excited to see what new content you put out :)
please do some actually cool and inventive content like drew gooden. don’t keep being a “commentary” channel that profits off of gossip and other peoples’ misery. one thing that always bothered me was calling a girl with a japenese bf a fetishist. comments like this are awful and careless and frankly their relationship isn’t your business. please do better and be creative and put something out that matters.
i agree but i wouldn't say like drew gooden because he has enough copycats already too. i really liked what he was doing with the news report thing he had going on
@@__AbAbeoh totally i agree and i get that. i just meant it as an example: someone who is inventive, who can “commentate” without just pumping out “drama” videos on the same topic everyone else is discussing without adding much.
NO SHOT I was literally thinking damn I actually really miss nick a couple hours ago wtf?????
I have a lot of respect for you for being able to share these feelings, and for how much care and attention you put into looking back at yourself. I think the nature of being human involves a lot of mistakes and imperfections and what matters most is that we care about being good people moving forward.
I can imagine how fun but also haunting being a youtuber might be especially as someone with anxiety or intrusive thoughts. The line can quickly blur between something being a hobby we do for fun, or being a stressful obligation we do for a career that is constantly under scrutiny by numerous strangers. You worded it really well when you explained how hate messages can be so hard to ignore when your career hinges on validation from strangers online. I feel like no matter how much support a person gets, negative feedback always sticks in our minds much more than anyone else... and I feel like as viewers, people don't often think to point out the good in something because they take it for granted.
I really enjoy your videos and I have a lot of respect for how you treat them. I think you seem like a really mature and thoughtful person who cares about being good to others. I hope you can find that happy balance to create things that you love because you love to do it, and there'll be people here to support you 🫡
So glad to see you’re back! Your community still has your back, wishing you well
been here for a while nick, i hope things get better dude. i went to the queef jerky tour in atlanta it was awsome asf, and i cant wait to see what youll do with the channel
what an epic show. probably my favorite venue i’ve played at. hell 4 ever
I truly have so much respect for you and a deep appreciation for the place that you and your content hold on youtube. I have always felt that the super mega situation was poorly handled but always with the best of intentions and I think that your ability to self reflect and make genuine lasting change is near unparalleled. Thank you for being you, you are inspiring to me
thank you for continuing to perform and do queef jerky that concert in seattle was one of the best concerts i’ve ever been to i truly hope you and dev and chelsea can find some peace and happiness and creativity soon 💚 QUEEFERS FOREVER!!!!!!
one of my favorite shows of the whole tour!!
what are you, 10?
i know you didn't do absolutely nothing wrong, but there's a disproportionate amount of criticism coming from people that seem to act like they don't understand that you are also human. you made mistakes, you didn't murder someone like it appears people are making it out as
L take
I can feel the genuineness in the way you speak, and I think you should keep trying if it is what you want to do. I also think that you could move forward trying to find a new way that’s even better instead of getting back to the old way
I remember falling upon your videos through kurtis and danny collabs. I remember checking your work out and seeing you make videos about games you loved and a 1 hour mixtape of your music. i loved seeing the passion you had for these things. when you dived into drama and controversies, i saw that that skyrocketed your views, but after a while i couldnt see that passion you used to have. so it was really heartbreaking when the SM stuff happened, it was almost like i didnt recognize the youtuber i loved over time. Im glad you took a step back and time off and really apologized in the end and i hope to see that old nick show a little more now :)
Oh cool dev’s boyfriend is back
thanks for posting this. i relate so much to the life consuming anxiety and i really really hope you can find your footing in content creation again. ive been a viewer since 2021 and ill stick around for whatever you decide to do next! the internet always takes things so far and it really saddens me to see how youve been so affected in all these ways i really think youve always had good intentions man literally noone is free of mistakes but content creators are held to this ridiculous standard of perfection and its like if you fuck up once youre the worst person ever for the rest of your career? but there will always be people who will stick around and support you because were all just humans ..idk im rambling. im excited to see what you put out next :)
So understandable. Making mistakes is part of growing, and the repercussions of mistakes on youtube are intensified so harshly. For those who can handle it, the growth can be immense: there's so many truly considerate youtubers out there, and it comes from making mistakes, being called out and learning. I could never handle it that's for damn sure, but I hope you come out on the other side stronger, wiser, and more open to criticism (unlike me, who would come out on the otherside like a beached jellyfish)
Compared to a lot of the things going on on UA-cam, this situation always felt so blown out of proportion. It was a mistake, but it wasn’t half as bad as other allegations. Glad to see you took time off and want to grow
Yup, right wing DORKS clamoring for their own controversy in the opposite direction
Considering the deafening silence from other parties, you coming out with all your cards on the table is really strong, and I'm really looking forward to Nick in his redemption/self exploratory era :)
i outgrew your videos, especially after the controversy. i am willing to keep an open mind to you, as you are growing as a person. the videos you make that are “commentary” just seem like teenage gossip and playing on the downfall of others with little commentary, more like a news channel. i do think the drama was blown out of proportion however, and i am sorry you were treated like that by the internet. i am keeping an eye on your channels at the moment to see if there may be content i will like or not. the internet is too harsh, and forgets things they shouldn’t and holds on to things that need to be let go.
thanks for sharing your thoughts :-) it’s nice to hear that you’re willing to see what i do next.
@@hesaidus of course. many people deserve second chances, and the internet doesn’t tend to give them so i try my best to. while i may have outgrown your content, depending on if the future content is for me or not, as a human you simply made a mistake. we all do.
real shit man,, i think u did ok all things considered,, u were a good friend when it mattered,, n when it was time 2 zoom out n look at it all,, u did the right thing,, n when it got 2 much u self analyzed heavily enough 2 realize u needed 2 step away entirely
ur gonna be ok bro,, wherever all of this takes u
gonna be completely honest, used to be a viewer, had a shitty comment typed out because of how your platform was utilized when i stopped watching, glad i decided to listen to the first couple minutes. the vulnerability is beyond respectable and you did a really good job hitting on things and pointing out potential negative feelings people could have while still properly voicing your struggles. as long as the content is still quality you got a viewer back and im sure i speak for a lot of people, proud of ya for the growth man
The origin of the word "courage" comes from the word "cour", which mean heart, and it means to completely share your story with your whole heart. - Brené Brown.
Keep being courageous and vulnerable Nick!
❤
6 months later and he still hasnt learned how to blow his nose.
Meeting you was such a great experience, you are such a great man nick!
complete honesty here, it was tough to see this incredible community you built over the years kind of slowly go away. being a part of the community since 2020, seeing you grow from 1,000 subscribers to 10,000 to 100,000 and so on, seeing this awesome loving community be built up, it was incredible and I have so many great memories from then of like 2020 and 2021, and I even met some of the most important people in my life from the community. but after a point, I definitely understood why the streaming got too stressful and you had to stop, cause it's obviously much harder to maintain the same kind of tight-knit community when the community itself grew so large. I've more recently come to realize just how important community is in life, and I really missed the one we had here and it seems like you do too. so I really hope that you are able to figure out how to invest in the communal stuff again that also isn't a burden on your mental health. it's a balance. no matter what though, I'll be sticking along to see whatever it is you decide to do next dude
love u always nick, having a growing platform is a hard thing to manage
I really appreciate that you were able to step back and take some time to think about your relationship with the internet. I’ve been watching your videos for a couple years now and I’m so happy that you’re back! I hope you can have fun with whatever videos you decide to make next.
hey nick! i was just thinking about your content and how you’re one of the creators i miss watching! glad to see you’re back and i am glad you took some time for yourself and your mental health! for every horrible comment there will be more heartwarming ones and i hope this can be one of them! keep working through the things you need to at your own pace and remember your real community will be there for you! welcome back!
ive always admired your videos and your music, ive decided to appreciate my hair and grow it out just so it could look like yours, youve always had my support and you will continue to have it
I’ve made some fucked up decisions and took the time to work on myself and am better today. I also didn’t have my mistakes bled into every aspect of my life. I am always compassionate to someone who is willing to put the effort in any try to fix their mistakes and be a better person.
Good to see you again. Your situation lately has been my go-to example as to how utterly disproportionate and vicious the internet hate can be to someone who had made a mistake. I miss your content a lot. You and Dev seem to have a really beautiful friendship and it's sad that was affected by this situation.
Miss you Nick
I’m happy to see you online again. I relied heavily on your videos for a mental boost when I was doing it rough a few years back. I understand the criticism you got, and I’m glad you seem to have taken it to heart and used it to learn and grow. That’s all I ask if you make a mistake. I hope you find your comfortable space online again soon, and I’ll be here watching.
I deal with severe depersonalization I really relate to your struggle of having this anxiety that encompasses your entire being and life. It feels inescapable when who you think you are and who you are to many people doesn’t feel like you anymore
I respect this change and this willingness to put this out and keep making videos, what happened was justified and completely reasonable on the internets side and I'm glad you have matured enough to fully understand that and why it happened the way it did, it's very important as a society to let people change and grow and even more see you say "I want to do what I like, for myself, and hopefully some people enjoy it too" it's very respectable, I was somebody who shit on you but I'm glad to see you saying this and I hope you can gather a new fanbase around what you like doing, its funny to me that the one person i thought was the worst in the whole thing has now turned out to be the best easily, and the only one that has shown they can change, i know you may not endorse this, but fuck ethanisonline, that guy acts like a tool and you were right to separate yourself from those people i promise
Glad you're back, hope you're doing well dude 💕
you shouldn’t be embarrassed, humans aren’t meant to socialize to this degree and especially not to get criticized to it. you’re a good dude
Anyone who can’t see that you actually care about how this affected people, just doesn’t actually care. All the people hating just want to focus on the old videos and things you’ve said in the past, it’s clear to me that you actually feel bad about what you did. I think you taking time away from UA-cam and thinking about everything is really important. I have been a fan for years, and though I do agree the super mega situation was pretty fucked up, you clearly feel bad about it. You’ve lost a lot of fans but I’ll be sticking around. I’d love to see you make more random content and not have anything controversial and super serious.
Edit: you should start the you cringe you smoke back up. Miss the old content. I’d love to see you stream again, and I’d like to see more content that isn’t surrounded by what’s gonna get lots of attention.
To go *
wonder if the people who is angry know that their comments will just help nick and make youtube go "ah yes you want more vids"
im someone who watched from the outside and it warms my heart seeing you grow. truly this is all i could ask for out of you, i think if you truly do go down this path you will be FAR better off in the longterm. because you didnt hide, you didnt cower, you manned up and admitted you fucked up. i wont lie if i was you i would probably have made the same mistake given the circumstances i dont blame u entirely for what happened initially, i know u were just trusting your friends but theres a saying my mom always told me “those aren’t your friends , they only care about you when you can do something for them, after that they WILL leave you.” and shit she wasnt wrong - not just from personal but also from acquaintances that i grew up with that are in like jail dead or fucked up with no room for growth cuz their mentalities are so… stuck in their ways..
and logically of course not all your friends are bad no doubt you probably have some people in your corner looking out for you, keep those people close!
I’m so happy to see u back!!!!
hi nick :3 im glad to see ur back and im excited to see ur new content to go along with ur new attitude, i never really understood fully what happened but i missed you!!
Excited for what you are working on next and it’s great to see you are doing better. I really hope that path continues and that you are able to cultivate a better environment around work for yourself. You got this man
really missed you nick. i know it probably felt/feels like everyone turned on you, but please remember that there are so many longtime fans like myself who are so happy to hear that you’ve grown and want to return. i’m genuinely so excited to see what you do next 💜
im really proud of your growth Nick! i have been a subscriber for awhile, and during the whole controversy i admit, i was pretty disappointed, but its clear to me now that you have grown so much and truly took the steps to improve yourself! we are all excited to see you continue to better yourself, and we support you! im personally really excited to see the future of your channel(s) and especially projects like queef jerky. best of luck mate!
Turkey Tom sucks so bad don’t listen to him 💕
Truuueeee.
i get such weird vibes from turkey tom and idek why… the feeling is just unpleasant
It's the beard isn't it? 😂@@marnenotmarnie259
i think it's really admirable that you're so open about your personal growth and the things you've realized you wanted to change about your behavior and content. as someone who has been watching you for the last three years i just wanna say its really cool to see you prioritize your wellbeing in the ways you know how and attempt to do this in a way that makes you happier. you deserve that shit
I originally started watching your smoking videos and playing along (has always been a blast). Im jot going to sit hear and say it’s okay that you did what you did bc its not ofc but also at the same time you can only say sorry so many times I understand that many people’s opinion on you has changed and that’s okay too. It doesn’t matter if you have a social platform or if you don’t not everyone is going to like you and that’s hard to live with because those people still make it known. But honestly just keep changing for the better if you’re aware that it’s wrong don’t do it again. Be who you want to be unapologetically if you know you want change do it! You got this excited to see where you go from here dude!
MUSTACHE!.!.?.!.!.!.??.
Sort of
that’s ur take away from the vid? lolz lolz lolz
@@nazgulskincarver__ errrmmmmm yes i commented before i even got like a minute in
@@iheartlexi erm i said lolz, obv not a serious comment my fellow sigma🤓
@@nazgulskincarver__ sorry u remind me of mystic messenger 707 i got a little scared
hey nick. glad to see you. i know you're trying hard and i think the amount of thought and care you're taking is already more than many youtubers that hit similar snags. it's one step at a time. take care ❤
i could not imagine my every action and decision being watched by so many people. everyone makes mistakes and misuses their position at a point. it’s hard to always do the right thing, and sometimes it’s hard to think clearly through every part of an action. people forget that celebrities are also just real human people at the end of the day. i’m glad you’re back man, hope you are at a comfortable place and that you can keep your head up!
i was just thinking about how much i missed watching your streams. it was one of my favorite ways to relax before work!
Youre one of my favorite content creators Nick, although i (maybe biased) think your controversy was blown out of proportion, i still find it admirable how you've gone about dealing with it. Saw you at your last show in LA and it was such a blast, i cant wait to catch another Queef show and im excited for your future content here too 🫶🫶🫶
it does make sense, do whatever you need to do to keep ur mind happy and healthy 🫡
So much respect to you for acknowledging your mistakes, taking the time you need to regroup, and coming back. Honestly so excited to see your new content!
I can definitely relate to youthful bravado leaving once you get older. Right out of high school I peaked in confidence. Passionately approaching the world like I knew everything. Kind of like the Dunning-Kruger effect, I didn't know the scope of what I didn't know. This made social interactions so much easier, as I assume YT videos would also be. Our youth also gives us a ton of leeway to make mistakes and still be taken seriously, or just not be taken seriously in the first place xD.
It takes a lot more effort to apply yourself when you have more of yourself to apply. There is a tough balance of applying new skills and overthinking though. Just keep putting yourself out there and it will progress!
I think this is going to come off as patronizing, but it's good to see your growing. I could feel the toxic undervibes in your content. As someone who had been in a similar space i thought and hoped that you would make your way through it. And you're doing it.
Terrible people have come back to UA-cam and had a career. You're not a terrible person. I think there are a lot of people who will stick around to see what you do next.
The Internet is scary af. Truly. I an afraid of it. You were strong to be so vulnerable.
Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. Here to watch your content no matter what you decide to do with it next/if you decide to move forward. Either way, thank you for the time and energy you’ve put into your platform for our viewing pleasure over the years!
Nick I’ve been watching since damn near the beginning of your channel and been aware of you even longer through other UA-camrs work. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more willing to be open and honest with their audience than you. You have honestly been a huge inspiration to both me and my sibling. The way you’ve been so open about your mental health has inspired me to be more open about mine. Your willingness to admit when you were wrong is amazing to see in a sea of half hearted apologies and egos.
And Even something on the sillier side like queef jerky has made me feel like I can be weirder and looser with my own music And has shown me ways of appreciating music that I never thought of before. I’ve seen live footage of the concerts and it’s insanely admirable how confident you are on stage. That’s truly something beautiful you and dev are building even if it’s a lotta jokes.
Not to mention the fact You’ve made me laugh through some of the darkest times of my life.
This is all to say that I’m proud of you Nick and I’m happy to see you back. Thank you for everything your content has done for me. And I can’t wait to see all the stuff you do next
Nicholas. I have been anticipating this.
so glad to see you back!
I’ve had this type of anxiety before with being behind the camera. I really appreciate you vocalizing it. Pressing record in itself is an accomplishment sometimes. I hope sometime you can turn off the noise. I think we can get so overstimulated in this virtual era. It can be uncomfortable to be so connected and disconnected at the same time when you’re so focused on the numbers. Wishing you the best, because I do miss your content ❤️ Hope this message can send some encouragement. & Thank you for sharing your experience.
i’ve been following you for three years now- thank you for actually being honest and courageous. put your mental health first and focus on yourself, as that’s the most important thing. everything will be okay eventually ❤
i appreciate the growth you’ve gone through and taken yourself and your actions seriously in ways many youtubers never ever will, we do miss your content but bringing together the person you are online and the person you are offline into a realistic balance is much more important that trying to use this platform as an escape from responsibility for mistakes
lots of love dude i hope you’re doing well
Wishing you all the best Nick! The internet can be crazy especially when people make mistakes. Forgive yourself! I like your videos and your creativity. Good luck.