LOL!! The Best Puns From The King Of One Liners Kevin Schwartz - America's Got Talent 2019

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  • Опубліковано 10 чер 2019
  • The comedian from Madison, Wisconsin brings his jokes to the worlds biggest stage!
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    ABOUT AMERICA'S GOT TALENT
    Creator and Executive Producer Simon Cowell returns to the judges' panel along with Howie Mandel. Also joining the panel this year are two fresh faces - award-winning actress, author and producer Gabrielle Union and Emmy Award-winning choreographer, actress, singer and dancer Julianne Hough. Terry Crews, who made a big splash as the host of the inaugural series "America's Got Talent: The Champions" earlier this year, joins as host for "America's Got Talent." With the show open to acts of all ages, "America's Got Talent" continues to celebrate the variety format like no other show on television. Year after year, "America's Got Talent" features a colorful array of singers, dancers, comedians, contortionists, impressionists, magicians, ventriloquists and hopeful stars, all vying to win America's hearts and a $1 million prize.
    LOL!! The Best Puns From The King Of One Liners Kevin Schwartz - America's Got Talent 2019
    • LOL!! The Best Puns Fr...
    America's Got Talent
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 4,1 тис.

  • @Pilikestortoises
    @Pilikestortoises 5 років тому +5809

    *Wins the whole show*
    Him: “nice.”

    • @nisl9039
      @nisl9039 5 років тому +41

      Uhhhhhhm nice

    • @harrypegg9293
      @harrypegg9293 5 років тому +9

      😂

    • @KevinLSchwartz
      @KevinLSchwartz 5 років тому +99

      Well, it WOULD be nice. No?

    • @lightyears2go
      @lightyears2go 5 років тому +6

      Kevin Schwartz dude ilu but that neckbeard is the epitome of the internet troll. lose it. ..or incorporate it into an act? imagine coming onstage with a fedora and My Little Pony - even better a fedora *of* MLP

    • @KevinLSchwartz
      @KevinLSchwartz 5 років тому +95

      @@lightyears2go Weird. I think of a troll as someone who goes around saying rude things to people online.

  • @swadey2.017
    @swadey2.017 5 років тому +6071

    He faced his fear, it doesn't matter if he wins or loses, he faced it and that is a win for me.

  • @patioorangutan2239
    @patioorangutan2239 5 років тому +6397

    That first joke was so underappreciated

    • @grahamconnorhudsonjameson8834
      @grahamconnorhudsonjameson8834 5 років тому +247

      Patio Orangutan maybe if he didn’t use it as his first it would of passed better

    • @starfish744
      @starfish744 5 років тому +17

      I lolled 😂

    • @jesusflores9191
      @jesusflores9191 5 років тому +11

      I was ded

    • @xiphos8219
      @xiphos8219 5 років тому +63

      Yeah, I laughed at it and then shrugged at everyone's reaction

    • @DeitrikItotv
      @DeitrikItotv 5 років тому +162

      I was in the audience during this performance and his first joke was actually the Isaac Newton one

  • @an2ny482
    @an2ny482 5 років тому +4362

    He's about to have 2 over Isaac Newton

    • @DansGlowing
      @DansGlowing 5 років тому +147

      Easily the most underrated comment here 😂😂

    • @DansGlowing
      @DansGlowing 5 років тому +69

      Guess he cant use that joke again

    • @tjjavier
      @tjjavier 4 роки тому +13

      Hahahaha!!! Way to double down! 👏😂

    • @Island_Kermode
      @Island_Kermode 4 роки тому +8

      Isaac2= kevin schwartz(-inteligence)

    • @SomeGuy-jx4qd
      @SomeGuy-jx4qd 3 роки тому +3

      he will

  • @vitocorleone1462
    @vitocorleone1462 5 років тому +8039

    The Isaac Newton joke and the grocery store jokes were hilarious

    • @NotMe-yh5gi
      @NotMe-yh5gi 5 років тому +22

      @Dev JB really that's crazy I never heard it and I love puns

    • @KevinLSchwartz
      @KevinLSchwartz 5 років тому +59

      @Jay Bradley Maybe it is old. I'm not omniscient. But Google shows no sign of it before the first time I posted it.

    • @missjoey
      @missjoey 5 років тому +18

      @Kevin Schwartz I and I'm sure many others who enjoyed ur jokes trust you! There are too many brains in this world for a joke to be completely original and not have been come up by a random few, but from the response of the audience and even the judges themselves, the joke is obviously not old and unoriginal like described by the fellow commenter above. Stay undistracted by ungrounded criticisms and keep up your good work! Many ppl are looking forward to seeing more! By the way, English is not my native language- could you explain to me the panda joke? ☺️

    • @KevinLSchwartz
      @KevinLSchwartz 5 років тому +52

      @@missjoey "Today I saw twin pandas. That bears repeating."
      "That bears repeating" basically means "is worth telling people about." But "that bear's repeating" implies that the one twin was a copy/repetition of the other twin.

    • @missjoey
      @missjoey 5 років тому +6

      @Kevin Schwartz Thank you for the explanation! Now I get why everybody's laughing!! 😊😊😊

  • @deeznuts8988
    @deeznuts8988 5 років тому +4019

    "Instead of watching other people live, I want to live".
    Man. Who's cutting onions!!?

    • @arcaneghost2459
      @arcaneghost2459 5 років тому +38

      The damn ninjas man, they always cutting onions at opportune moments

    • @atrain84
      @atrain84 5 років тому +18

      You have no soul if that doesn’t just touch your heart. I loved it.

    • @aghyad5185
      @aghyad5185 5 років тому +1

      Forreal 🙏🏻

    • @ev0wizard
      @ev0wizard 5 років тому +4

      Ikr im like man i gotta go do something with my life too

    • @steampunkhulk5559
      @steampunkhulk5559 5 років тому +1

      Thought this was a shrek reference no joke

  • @JavveRinne
    @JavveRinne 5 років тому +1361

    He's diagnosed with agoraphobia. The fear of open spaces. In his case everything outside of his house. Imagine that!

    • @mikecruze9562
      @mikecruze9562 5 років тому +14

      I can't imagine that... that's how far out it is... it was cool.

    • @darkangelsid76
      @darkangelsid76 5 років тому +17

      That was my diagnosis 20 years ago. He has had to push to get where he is

    • @needlessoptions
      @needlessoptions 5 років тому +39

      It's not the fear of open spaces. That's what Google says it is but in a medical sense it's actually the fear of situations that might cause panic, embarrasment or helplesness.

    • @earlsimmonsnixon6100
      @earlsimmonsnixon6100 5 років тому +5

      Can't imagine that im a Claustrophobic

    • @xrizbira
      @xrizbira 4 роки тому +1

      Are phobias real thing, how it work just curious what they brain tells them what they feel

  • @krishshautriya5170
    @krishshautriya5170 2 роки тому +668

    His writing is so good. And his delivery adds to his charm. Hope he does more.

  • @jeremya618
    @jeremya618 5 років тому +3392

    Anxiety can steal your life away. I'm glad he took this giant step.

    • @Saxologic
      @Saxologic 5 років тому +8

      Jeremy A Giant Steps by John Coltrane

    • @WitchKing-Of-Angmar
      @WitchKing-Of-Angmar 5 років тому +4

      I want to like your comment but it's at 666 and I can't just do that

    • @WitchKing-Of-Angmar
      @WitchKing-Of-Angmar 5 років тому +4

      Never mind, I'm good

    • @cobr3n
      @cobr3n 5 років тому +2

      I have huge anxiety and stage fright. Wish I had the guts to do what he did. I applaud him for getting on the stage and doing his routine. :)

    • @jessemartinez3825
      @jessemartinez3825 2 роки тому

      Sus

  • @bethiekitch3925
    @bethiekitch3925 5 років тому +3209

    “Instead of watching other people live, I want to live.”
    That got to me ♥️

  • @johnnyjerkwad5527
    @johnnyjerkwad5527 5 років тому +474

    hearing the audience genuinely warm up to his jokes and laugh is quite possibly one of the best things i've seen in my life.

  • @mehulshakya1624
    @mehulshakya1624 5 років тому +2956

    I can't understand why the audience didn't understand his first joke . I mean that was funny .

    • @dunnock343
      @dunnock343 5 років тому +133

      He’s got potential! He’s got the one liner jokes, now it’s just about delivery and structure of when to tell which jokes when.

    • @dustinb.403
      @dustinb.403 4 роки тому +9

      It was hilarious!

    • @christhomas4739
      @christhomas4739 4 роки тому +33

      As a first joke, people thought he coulda gotten stage fright

    • @GlorifiedTruth
      @GlorifiedTruth 2 роки тому +18

      I think it took them a moment to warm up to what he was doing.

    • @zodiacgamer4547
      @zodiacgamer4547 2 роки тому +4

      Audience was still settling..couldn't guess his genius, loved it

  • @Ninjaman195
    @Ninjaman195 5 років тому +5712

    This guy went from scared of going out of his house to performing on AGT, that's insane

    • @soccerking172
      @soccerking172 5 років тому +57

      I'm going to be on AGT someday. Still trying to get out of my house but we'll get there.

    • @ScarlettCrystal2009
      @ScarlettCrystal2009 5 років тому +50

      Anyone who can come this far and make this much progress with their fears, deserves a LOT of credit and a shot with something like this.

    • @Stintdigis
      @Stintdigis 5 років тому +5

      Goes to show the impossible is possible

    • @arvin0786
      @arvin0786 5 років тому +9

      @@soccerking172 Just bring your house with you. c:

    • @ultimaxextreme1000
      @ultimaxextreme1000 5 років тому +3

      Seriously.. thats insane..

  • @rexkenley
    @rexkenley 5 років тому +12805

    Courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to face it.

    • @bighope6550
      @bighope6550 5 років тому +80

      By Isaac Newton

    • @nick624179
      @nick624179 5 років тому +10

      Thanks for reminder 👌

    • @billk8326
      @billk8326 5 років тому +1

      Yes

    • @DrMatt-wp6ul
      @DrMatt-wp6ul 5 років тому +28

      Next time you use a William Danforth quote you should credit him!

    • @SheepdogSmokey
      @SheepdogSmokey 5 років тому +13

      This is why I joined my volunteer fire department, I wanted to conquer my fear of fire. Now I'm an adrenaline junky, a bit jaded, but still, I was petrified my first time, but I did it.

  • @SpiralSine6
    @SpiralSine6 5 років тому +1407

    I felt for this guy man. His delivery was rough, but he definitely got into the groove as he carried on.

    • @yanivsteltzer8425
      @yanivsteltzer8425 4 роки тому +3

      @Dara DeBuitlear no. thats not the point. hes just nervous. its cringe-worthy any not funny. didnt laugh once.
      Glad he got cut from Judge cuts!!!

    • @JMEAUS22
      @JMEAUS22 2 роки тому +13

      @Yaniv Steltzer it is 100% the point. Look up Steven Wright or Mitch Hedberg. Legends of comedy who do this exact same style.
      You thought your own opinion was evidence your thinking was correct.
      It wasn't, in fact, it was evidence of how uninformed you were. It's world accepted method of comedy.

    • @povchill3780
      @povchill3780 2 роки тому

      @@yanivsteltzer8425 man shut yo goofyass up, u prolly dodnt understand any joke💀

    • @nikogivas6393
      @nikogivas6393 2 роки тому +1

      He didn’t change tone or cadence once. That’s not an accident. It just took the audience a second to warm up to his weird style.

  • @rinkerbel_
    @rinkerbel_ 5 років тому +3421

    Why did no one understands the first joke?
    Did they all black out?

    • @michaelaugspurger7651
      @michaelaugspurger7651 5 років тому +209

      I think it the order of doing it first that didn't work well. If he had started with the Isaac Newton one, the black out joke would have been funnier.

    • @shshshshshshgt
      @shshshshshshgt 5 років тому +20

      If he had said that right after it would have been great

    • @nickyap6616
      @nickyap6616 5 років тому +10

      I find that one funny too

    • @quacklovesparanormal2041
      @quacklovesparanormal2041 5 років тому +14

      I bust out laughing at that joke!!!

    • @chelliserogers4513
      @chelliserogers4513 5 років тому +2

      Am saying

  • @utubehelps
    @utubehelps 5 років тому +2777

    49yrs old still pursuing happiness.. NEVER STOP

    • @Nobody-xe9fc
      @Nobody-xe9fc 5 років тому +2

      TRYING TO GET LAID

    • @phenadoz-topicmusic8122
      @phenadoz-topicmusic8122 5 років тому +15

      @@Nobody-xe9fc likes you

    • @Nobody-xe9fc
      @Nobody-xe9fc 5 років тому +1

      @@phenadoz-topicmusic8122 I already knew that I liked myself very much ^_^

    • @SaadMohammedGhori
      @SaadMohammedGhori 5 років тому +1

      maybe what we should try to pursue is satisfaction not happiness.

    • @MrWarfighter
      @MrWarfighter 5 років тому

      @@SaadMohammedGhori I agree, he is trying to pursue satisfaction, he just doesnt realize it.

  • @mistw.9323
    @mistw.9323 5 років тому +3009

    You could literally see when Simon started to get and understand his jokes😂

    • @stephieirene1
      @stephieirene1 5 років тому +10

      th virgin joke?

    • @serenapeterson8130
      @serenapeterson8130 5 років тому +74

      I was bummed at the silence on the first home. It was good. His jokes aren't low based. He reminds me of that long haired monotoned comic from the 80s who also did one liners

    • @briarevans4991
      @briarevans4991 5 років тому +4

      Serena Peterson Steven Wright?

    • @jeffreykelley8598
      @jeffreykelley8598 5 років тому +3

      Steven Wright keep you in stitches, wasn't often but sometimes he'd have to smirk at himself...

    • @lightyears2go
      @lightyears2go 5 років тому +1

      stephieirene 3:25 *did he just say what i think he said*

  • @craig869
    @craig869 5 років тому +395

    To go from being scared to leave the house through to being onstage in front of 4000 people AND on television. Incredible. As his confidence grew, his delivery got better. I teared up.

  • @amgkmli
    @amgkmli 5 років тому +316

    I love how not everyone comes here to Win. But they just come to experience something new. Great show!

    • @sven615
      @sven615 5 років тому

      agree my brotha

  • @grilledspicydeluxe7834
    @grilledspicydeluxe7834 5 років тому +3364

    “Instead of watching other people live, I want to live.”
    WHO CUT THE ONIONS

    • @northmemphis2104
      @northmemphis2104 5 років тому +20

      Tru Tha..😢😢😥😢..he was awesome.. WHO'S CRYING? 😢😢😢😢...IM NOT!.😢😥..I SWEAR!!..

    • @JamesKovacic
      @JamesKovacic 5 років тому +22

      That’s how I feel right now watching these auditions 😭🙃😂

    • @Akashi-ml9dn
      @Akashi-ml9dn 5 років тому +12

      That's really powerful word to push someone to live their life to the fullest

    • @phoenixrising2609
      @phoenixrising2609 5 років тому +7

      Them freaking Onion Ninjas, is who...damn them

    • @serenapeterson8130
      @serenapeterson8130 5 років тому +18

      I love his therapist for helping him.

  • @Exhibit_C_me
    @Exhibit_C_me 5 років тому +882

    "Instead of watching ppl live, I want to live." -Kevin Schwartz 💯

  • @aaronspeck1644
    @aaronspeck1644 5 років тому +313

    Yo that had to be the hardest thing he ever did. Legitimately just so damn happy for him for accomplishing this.

  • @raffy7284
    @raffy7284 3 роки тому +232

    Dude is a legend would 100% pay to see him perform

  • @sayyurrr
    @sayyurrr 5 років тому +881

    Who else loves it when Simon goes from really critical to just laughing his guts out in the blink of an eye?

    • @stevethea5250
      @stevethea5250 5 років тому +6

      His delivery was slow bit clearly good

  • @Undesirablekishan
    @Undesirablekishan 5 років тому +2744

    the virgin one killed me 😂

  • @Tay80085
    @Tay80085 5 років тому +270

    I have agoraphobia too. Currently, I'm getting help bi-weekly. This guy is so courageous for getting up on stage in front of so much people. I admire him. I want to clarify that agoraphobia is not only the fear of open spaces, but also fear of not being able to escape and embarrassment. It's a scary thing to endure and not much people are aware of this. Sending love from Hawaii ❤

    • @mitchdroese84
      @mitchdroese84 5 років тому +1

      I hope you continue getting help and can fully enjoy what a beautiful world we live in!

    • @Tay80085
      @Tay80085 5 років тому +2

      Thank you@@mitchdroese84😊 Slowly but surely. Baby steps. Have a nice week!

    • @provakarroychy1535
      @provakarroychy1535 4 роки тому +1

      Marie, I appreciate that you took the courage to state your fear on the internet. Great job!
      Keep up the great work and focus on self love and self evaluation more as it will directly boost your confidence and help you get better at going out more and connecting better with more and more people.
      Have a happy journey in the trip called "Life" and hope to see a much better version of you soon. 😊

    • @guaiyaxs8570
      @guaiyaxs8570 Рік тому

      embarrassed to be judged, causes panic attacks which cause retreat to safety (place) which is fear!! Its much worse... now that you are safe with your fear in that place.. the fear wouldn't stop telling you how worthless you are!! The fear would continue to eat you pieces everyday!! hoping someone would understand, wanting to tell someone.. tired of being alone.. tired of struggling.. tired of waking up

    • @periodddtttt
      @periodddtttt Рік тому

      how are you doing now?

  • @josephc.558
    @josephc.558 4 роки тому +112

    This guys story is so sad, he actually seems like he would be a really cool guy to hang out with.

    • @mariusk-l1056
      @mariusk-l1056 3 роки тому +3

      no

    • @ashmitrocks1997
      @ashmitrocks1997 Рік тому +1

      I'm a beginner comic. I followed Kevin on Instagram a few days ago and last night he followed me back after a conversation! He really is a very supportive, mild mannered guy who just wants to see people write their own success stories! A gem of a man.

  • @andrecpg8959
    @andrecpg8959 5 років тому +8203

    Hope he gains confidence through this and deals with his anxiety better

    • @kevinhamakawa8343
      @kevinhamakawa8343 5 років тому +29

      Andre ExoDust trust me his anxiety isn’t that bad, AGT just needs to milk a story out of him

    • @galette_1196
      @galette_1196 5 років тому +9

      @Reddot Sxul It's not. Dude. They are literally doing this to everyone if possible.

    • @samhaack4492
      @samhaack4492 5 років тому +198

      Just wanted to put my 2 cents in. Kevin is a good friend of mine and his anxiety is just as bad as it seemed in the video. The only reason he auditioned was because I was able to be there with him and supported him the whole time. I couldn't go with him for the next audition because of my work so he went by himself and I've never been more proud of him.

    • @ericshimer6669
      @ericshimer6669 5 років тому +34

      @@samhaack4492 he has just gained a bunch of us who also support him. Even if he does not win i will be sure next time i come up that way to see one of his shows. Even if Madison is not my favorite area and gives me slight anxiety to drive in i am down for it on the way to the Dells.

    • @Nikolaiwww
      @Nikolaiwww 5 років тому +10

      Samantha Haack thank you

  • @YesPlease1
    @YesPlease1 5 років тому +724

    Getting on that stage would be hard/scary for 99% of people. The fact that you did it *with diagnosed agoraphobia* means you've really got guts!

    • @huskysings9536
      @huskysings9536 5 років тому +4

      yesplease so much respect for the man right!

  • @Quisomatic
    @Quisomatic 2 роки тому +38

    He uses his awkwardness to his advantage… that’s smart !!! This was great 😂😂😂

  • @pallabdas1440
    @pallabdas1440 2 роки тому +46

    You guys didn't get him.. He's making comedy of his fears.. He wins the weather 🖤

  • @rosiered3403
    @rosiered3403 5 років тому +2840

    Comedy always seems to come from a place of pain. Good for you on conquering your fears Kevin.

    • @thelegend8153
      @thelegend8153 5 років тому +3

      Rosie Red there is no exception to that rule

    • @_Medusa.
      @_Medusa. 5 років тому +1

      True.

    • @morganga
      @morganga 5 років тому +4

      The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something awful happening to someone else, while comedy is something awful happening to someone else.

    • @addyt.9609
      @addyt.9609 5 років тому

      Well said

    • @TheRudexx
      @TheRudexx 5 років тому +1

      I used to think my life was a tragedy. But now I realize, it’s a comedy.... :) #Joker

  • @blaze59317
    @blaze59317 5 років тому +2261

    You can def tell his confidence elevated as he told his jokes. 6:56 minutes of laughter instead of bullying. There is still hope for humanity!

    • @colestonkfc9328
      @colestonkfc9328 5 років тому +3

      arturo nunez 🤦🏼‍♀️are you brain dead that’s the end of the video

    • @alvarohernandez4557
      @alvarohernandez4557 5 років тому +29

      @@colestonkfc9328 he wasnt stating a point in the video, he was just saying the length of the video

    • @Jmscr-bc7ds
      @Jmscr-bc7ds 5 років тому +5

      Nah, i dont think there hope😂

    • @colestonkfc9328
      @colestonkfc9328 5 років тому +1

      Alvaro Hernandez ok welp I’m drunk rn😂 took like 8shots

    • @tp9927
      @tp9927 5 років тому +7

      @@colestonkfc9328 Nice save

  • @aahilsayed7
    @aahilsayed7 Рік тому +11

    When Simon gives a standing ovation you already know the performance was great

  • @Mag1c4lyfe
    @Mag1c4lyfe 4 роки тому +5

    @4:31 "I went to the grocery store. The sign said "NO FOOD OR DRINKS INSIDE" so i went home"
    LOL

  • @ErkFX
    @ErkFX 5 років тому +1322

    That Isaac Newton joke was so good! Definitely had an unexpected twist at the end of it!

    • @randallnelson2768
      @randallnelson2768 5 років тому +15

      Was the best joke. The rest were not very good.

    • @cole4832
      @cole4832 5 років тому +31

      @@randallnelson2768 or maybe it's just not your type of comedy

    • @stevethea5250
      @stevethea5250 5 років тому +3

      @@cole4832 I'm gonna steal that

    • @_Dio_Brando_69
      @_Dio_Brando_69 5 років тому +3

      I saw right where it was going and it was still funny hearing it LOL

    • @jayhernandez7708
      @jayhernandez7708 5 років тому +1

      How do you even understand? You have a roblox icon lmao

  • @petercallaghan9851
    @petercallaghan9851 5 років тому +707

    That first joke, the one that nobody laughed at, was a killer.

    • @Allie13Livvy
      @Allie13Livvy 5 років тому +20

      I was coming to make this comment. I am so glad I was not the only one that got it

    • @landalou3303
      @landalou3303 5 років тому +6

      I died 😂😂

    • @franklynonyia1449
      @franklynonyia1449 5 років тому +3

      Tbh it was lit

    • @susangoryan1774
      @susangoryan1774 5 років тому +7

      I liked it too...It went over a lot of heads!

    • @minminli6248
      @minminli6248 5 років тому +1

      It was fantastic. 😊

  • @Fgvv17
    @Fgvv17 5 років тому +30

    Omg!! His story proves that you don't always have to look brave to be brave. He is pure inspiration

  • @waste_of_grace
    @waste_of_grace 5 років тому +59

    As someone with severe and crippling social anxiety, this made me feel so many emotions. I’m rooting so hard for him!

  • @sahuhrithik
    @sahuhrithik 5 років тому +770

    Who else wants to give this guy a big hug. 🙋‍♂

  • @abadomtochukwu8123
    @abadomtochukwu8123 5 років тому +727

    Is it just me or is Simon now adorable?
    He’s become so encouraging and supportive of the contestants.
    Thanks Simon. We love you

    • @paLeevang
      @paLeevang 5 років тому +5

      Abadom Tochukwu omg thats how i felt too lol

    • @sarahdixon6011
      @sarahdixon6011 5 років тому +30

      It's because he's a dad 😊

    • @JoeLibby
      @JoeLibby 5 років тому +21

      That's not Simon! What have they done with Simon?

    • @africaRBG
      @africaRBG 5 років тому +6

      Hes gettin old lol

    • @jeffreyfox1768
      @jeffreyfox1768 5 років тому +12

      I miss tougher Simon. And yes he's much nicer and more encouraging... I would guess bc he is a father unlike 6 or 7 years ago

  • @Powerstroke87
    @Powerstroke87 5 років тому +32

    Isaac Newton joke killed for real. Dude seems like a cool cat. Hope life gets infinitely better for him

  • @davidunoi7099
    @davidunoi7099 5 років тому +499

    First joke was wasted on this audience 😒

    • @CharlieRootsMusic
      @CharlieRootsMusic 5 років тому +13

      Definitely the ones that never had panic attacks !

    • @Likasomboooodee
      @Likasomboooodee 4 роки тому +2

      Haha get it! Wasted! Ha ha ok sorry I’ll shut up now

    • @petermyers479
      @petermyers479 4 роки тому +6

      david Unoi Great joke, wrong place in the bit. Would have worked far better as fourth or fifth joke, AFTER establishing rapport with crowd. Still, well done. The dude has faced his fears, he wins!

    • @abcdefghijklmneha
      @abcdefghijklmneha 3 роки тому

      They don't show the audience reaction as happens in real. It's all edited.

    • @jacksprings7229
      @jacksprings7229 2 роки тому

      @@Likasomboooodee nice xD

  • @Ayrton4everrr
    @Ayrton4everrr 5 років тому +995

    The saddest clowns, have always been the best comedians. Great guy

    • @c17a
      @c17a 5 років тому +1

      And Rodney Dangerfield

  • @kagelynx
    @kagelynx 5 років тому +4292

    Rules for AGT.
    1. Have an anime backstory.

    • @parisienne7544
      @parisienne7544 5 років тому +17

      😂😂😂😂

    • @xPhantom27
      @xPhantom27 5 років тому +21

      Seems legit

    • @xxxextensioncord3910
      @xxxextensioncord3910 5 років тому +76

      Dude ima say my fish died

    • @sol666
      @sol666 5 років тому +86

      Fear of leaving the house is a very real phobia. Don't disrespect a guy who managed to overcome it.

    • @Toni_Be
      @Toni_Be 5 років тому +62

      @@sol666 dude he was not disrespecting him i mean its cool that he overcome it but its for real that you need a good story and instantly get through i mean the jokes were not that good but the story was and see what happened i mean im proud of him but hes not that funny and its not a talent that deserves winning 1 mil

  • @tedioustask5714
    @tedioustask5714 5 років тому +33

    I can’t remember the last time I seen Simon Cowell stand and applause for a comedian!

  • @mr.minister5018
    @mr.minister5018 Рік тому +10

    Kevin is a champion!! Overcoming a fear of crowds is very hard, whenever I go through with it there's a thousand thoughts of self doubt. And Kevin managed to pull through all of that, so inspiring ❤️

  • @robgronk8453
    @robgronk8453 5 років тому +1121

    This man is so very inspirational. This is what agt is truly all about. Too this man we are all so very proud of you.

    • @kidrobot.
      @kidrobot. 5 років тому

      its all an act. look at his UA-cam channel.

    • @kidrobot.
      @kidrobot. 5 років тому +1

      @Erin B you care.

    • @franklynonyia1449
      @franklynonyia1449 5 років тому

      Kevin Schwartz is a legend wherever he is

  • @spotlightawesome
    @spotlightawesome 5 років тому +989

    With respect to Kevin conquering his anxiety, but his psychiatrist is doing a reaaallly great job.

    • @drealboy_
      @drealboy_ 5 років тому +2

      He probably doesn't even remember this he's so drugged

    • @dothedo3667
      @dothedo3667 5 років тому +43

      @@drealboy_ he's not drugged, his mind is basically shutting down, it's what happens with such great anxiety.
      It's the methods that the psychiatrist used that are good, which is what makes the difference.

    • @drealboy_
      @drealboy_ 5 років тому +1

      @@dothedo3667 no. It's the drugs he's on. Benzodiazepines.

    •  5 років тому

      KevinKnox Playlist You're an idiot.

    • @dothedo3667
      @dothedo3667 5 років тому

      @@drealboy_ Nope, try again.

  • @stelladey8528
    @stelladey8528 5 років тому +2

    I had tears in my eyes. I've dealt with anxiety depression insomnia and whatnot and I know how hard it is to get out of the bed. Kevin, you are so brave and I wish you all the very best. The fact you stepped out of the house gave me so much hope and courage. I'll pray for all the success for you!

    • @KevinLSchwartz
      @KevinLSchwartz 5 років тому +1

      Thank you.

    • @stelladey8528
      @stelladey8528 5 років тому +1

      @@KevinLSchwartz I wish you all the best. Hope you win this!

  • @nj6530
    @nj6530 2 роки тому +6

    No ego, no showing off, no bs, huge respect for him. Congrats

  • @renaeemorgan8914
    @renaeemorgan8914 5 років тому +160

    When he said “Instead of watching other people live, I want to live”
    It was so powerful❤️😭

  • @FikomUntarDinaDelany
    @FikomUntarDinaDelany 5 років тому +1061

    it's still with me this fear
    BUT
    instead of just watching other people live
    I want to Live
    - Kevin Schwartz

    • @haddijack
      @haddijack 5 років тому +1

      So true 😔😓😢😞😪

  • @chojykukreja2095
    @chojykukreja2095 5 років тому +28

    You already won, by just entering this competition. Good on ya champ!

  • @abigailmanning1730
    @abigailmanning1730 5 років тому +128

    Him: Isaac Newton died a virgin
    Me: ummmm... ok
    Him: that means I have one up on history’s greatest scientific mind
    Me: oh uhhhh, good... good for you man
    Him: because I’m not dead
    Me:😂😂😂

    • @andothershortstories
      @andothershortstories 4 роки тому +8

      Thanks for the play by play

    • @anythinggoes1813
      @anythinggoes1813 3 роки тому

      I really don't understand... please explain it to me...

    • @samuellinn
      @samuellinn 3 роки тому

      @@anythinggoes1813 He said Isaac died a virgin so the audience are expecting that he ain't a virgin like him. Then he said "I'm not dead"
      Basically he called himself a virgin

  • @MrEuropeanTv
    @MrEuropeanTv 5 років тому +252

    I went to the grocery store and sign said no food or drink inside. So I went home
    Hahahahahah greatest line ever

    • @Bigbacktivity
      @Bigbacktivity 5 років тому

      MrEuropeanTv where is the hilariousness in that joke that joke was stupid

    • @lordkaachan9252
      @lordkaachan9252 5 років тому

      @@Bigbacktivity what's the point of heading to the store if there is no food or drinks inside?

    • @Bigbacktivity
      @Bigbacktivity 5 років тому

      Lord Of Waifus okay but what’s so funny about that it makes no sense

    • @Bigbacktivity
      @Bigbacktivity 5 років тому

      Any grocery store has food so if it don’t have food it’s not a grocery store

    • @lordkaachan9252
      @lordkaachan9252 5 років тому

      @@Bigbacktivity because the sign in grocery stores that says "no food or drinks inside" is meant that you can't bring in food and drinks from the outside into the store. However how this guy read it , is that there is no food and drinks inside the store therefore losing the purpose of going into the store, and heading home. The joke here is the play on words "no food and drinks inside"

  • @Khous-yg1ur
    @Khous-yg1ur 5 років тому +365

    I really just want to hug him, I totally understand how he feels in being full of anxiety. He did great and I hope he's on the show for the whole thing

    • @Khous-yg1ur
      @Khous-yg1ur 5 років тому +1

      azu111 Wait..... Wait.... I "can't" know what it feels like to be full of anxiety because I'm a "woman"?

  • @lowxrobin2001
    @lowxrobin2001 4 роки тому +4

    What a kind guy tho, rly

  • @colebayer25
    @colebayer25 2 роки тому +9

    I’ve seen this guy in-person four times at open mic nights in the comedy club in Madison he referenced. He was hilarious but didn’t even realize he was on AGT. This is awesome!

  • @MN-vn8mk
    @MN-vn8mk 5 років тому +128

    When he said that his classmates spent a week not talking to him pretending he was invisible
    Man that's cruel....

  • @M11G10
    @M11G10 5 років тому +298

    *Just married, makes it sound like they are already disappointed*
    Man I'm dead literally LoL 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭

    • @xzed6394
      @xzed6394 5 років тому +12

      Mayur Gojia no you're literally not

    • @kagelynx
      @kagelynx 5 років тому +1

      Figuratively > Literally

    • @marlesdk
      @marlesdk 5 років тому +1

      I dont get it, can you explain it to me? :D

  • @gimygaming8655
    @gimygaming8655 4 роки тому +3

    When the judges asked him where he was from I half expected him to say "from my mom"

  • @loinetupou9920
    @loinetupou9920 5 років тому +55

    I hope that person who made you feel invisible is watching this

  • @bunder9204
    @bunder9204 5 років тому +1061

    This is how many times he said thank you
    👇👇

    • @riderforlife9498
      @riderforlife9498 5 років тому +23

      Bunder _ I m sorry you r wrong this is how many times he said thankyou
      👇👇

    • @akioozaraga413
      @akioozaraga413 5 років тому +14

      You are both wrong. This is how many thank yous he said. (I liked my own comment)
      👇👇

    • @paigebai3372
      @paigebai3372 5 років тому +2

      AXN Vlogs 😂

    • @robert7879
      @robert7879 5 років тому +3

      Dumb post

    • @bunder9204
      @bunder9204 5 років тому +1

      @@robert7879 someone's salty

  • @beacea274
    @beacea274 5 років тому +241

    *Instead of watching other people live, i want to live*
    Wow i felt that

  • @baileyconradt
    @baileyconradt 5 років тому +23

    I've been lucky enough to see him at our comedy club in Madison! Congrats, Kevin!

  • @brian23221
    @brian23221 4 роки тому +12

    This guy gives me hope in overcoming my anxiety and agoraphobia.

  • @kendimuchungi5333
    @kendimuchungi5333 5 років тому +313

    Totally got his first joke. :-) All the best and God bless!!

    • @kendimuchungi5333
      @kendimuchungi5333 5 років тому +14

      @@mgoldenboyz7942 I guess I need to elaborate - I understood and found his joke funny. Comedy is actually extremely subjective. :-)

    • @MrSickinthemind
      @MrSickinthemind 5 років тому +1

      ikr was laughing hard, sadly the audience didn't get it

    • @jamesbravo8942
      @jamesbravo8942 5 років тому +1

      I didnt get it. Whats the joke?

    • @MrSickinthemind
      @MrSickinthemind 5 років тому

      @HHF Electronic Internet connection is good in heaven. I'm on a vacation

    • @farianvix1800
      @farianvix1800 5 років тому

      Pleaese explain the first joke...

  • @Toad_Moto
    @Toad_Moto 5 років тому +223

    I have one up on Isaac Newton... because I'm not dead.
    I'm dead. 🤣🤣👏

    • @hahahaha-oi2jm
      @hahahaha-oi2jm 5 років тому +4

      Toad Moto ....but...but...the question is...
      did you die a virgin? ;)

  • @saniasaeed9698
    @saniasaeed9698 3 роки тому +2

    Really funny and so loveably awkward. I was laughing from the first joke about the blackout

  • @julialegolas2148
    @julialegolas2148 2 роки тому +18

    I wanted to cry when nobody laughed about the first joke, it was actually good and he must have felt so bad

  • @MilleusPetrozza
    @MilleusPetrozza 5 років тому +128

    His one liners made me laugh, and his courage brought tears to my eyes.

  • @Geologically
    @Geologically 5 років тому +599

    Has a backstory = longer videos
    No sad backstory = 2 minute videos
    👏🏻

    • @stephenn9872
      @stephenn9872 5 років тому +11

      thats how agt works

    • @victorserrano7939
      @victorserrano7939 5 років тому +28

      So ur saying tht if Im diagnosed with a mental illness I’ll get more air time 🤔

    • @sabah3822
      @sabah3822 5 років тому +3

      Victor M3 E92 pretty much

    • @victorserrano7939
      @victorserrano7939 5 років тому +7

      😃😃 I was diagnosed with ADHD, HDMI, HHR, and USB, I should at least get ten minutes 😁

    • @Rizzgard
      @Rizzgard 5 років тому +2

      I'll tell you how AGT works ... they've already picked the winner. Voting means nothing. It is just an easy way for the channel executives to tally up the ratings.

  • @shshshshshshgt
    @shshshshshshgt 5 років тому +37

    This guy is a champ. Keep going dude, you’ll only get better.

  • @pastoranthonywright
    @pastoranthonywright 5 років тому +22

    He’s great. I laughed at every joke. I hope we get to see a lot more of this guy. He’s hilarious! 😂

    • @yiyang6142
      @yiyang6142 Рік тому

      I don’t laugh at any of his jokes, i cant relate to what he’s trying to say

  • @livingthedash6727
    @livingthedash6727 5 років тому +383

    I believe the goal here is to give him more confidence, which is great because I believe he deserves it. Seems like a very nice and genuine person. A great guy!

    • @kidrobot.
      @kidrobot. 5 років тому +1

      its all an act. look at his youtube channel.

    • @martinn.4061
      @martinn.4061 5 років тому

      @@kidrobot. what's his yt

    • @kidrobot.
      @kidrobot. 5 років тому

      @@martinn.4061 search his name...

    • @thesomnograph7278
      @thesomnograph7278 5 років тому +3

      ​@@kidrobot. Just looked at his youtube channel. Doesn't feel like an act to me. He's got the same composure as he did on agt, even reading off of his cards and stuff presumably because he's nervous. Him having a youtube channel in the first place doesn't sound out of the ordinary to me either. Of course if you're going on agt (especially with a fear of performance) you want to have some practice and an audience to encourage you before going in.

    • @kidrobot.
      @kidrobot. 5 років тому

      @@thesomnograph7278 look at his 1st video. its from 4 years ago. he's basically wearing the same thing and doing the same routine. its all an act. if it wasn't, he would've evolved for the better by now. but i get it, everyone needs a gimmick to stand out. just look at tape face and puddles pity party

  • @benjaminlewis2910
    @benjaminlewis2910 5 років тому +170

    He's funnier than I am, and I don't even have anxiety! He deserved that ovation.

  • @ach3508
    @ach3508 5 років тому +10

    Nothing, but respect for Kevin. Pursue your goals & don’t stop🙏🏻

  • @artfuldoc
    @artfuldoc 5 років тому +6

    Agoraphobia is crushing yet Kevin curbed the audience and judges' attention and got overwhelming applauses from 4000 people. This moment itself is a massive truimph! Very inspiring, looking forward to his future performances. He's a winner!

  • @MBranchOfficial
    @MBranchOfficial 5 років тому +179

    I have severe anxiety and struggle with agoraphobia, you go Kevin ♥️

    • @patrickdavis6370
      @patrickdavis6370 5 років тому

      God Bless :)

    • @beccaisanerd671
      @beccaisanerd671 5 років тому

      As a former agoraphobic who still deals with major anxiety, I am sending positive vibes to you!

    • @rishikesh3021
      @rishikesh3021 5 років тому

      Just don't think about what would people say

  • @bornslippy9208
    @bornslippy9208 5 років тому +400

    Bloody brilliant hahaha, My type of comedy, Well done to him.

  • @ritoamontos7795
    @ritoamontos7795 5 років тому +5

    that line"i go to grocery store and i saw the sign 'no foods or drinks inside' so i went home" hahahhahaha

  • @piratepudge7453
    @piratepudge7453 4 роки тому +2

    This man give me courage❤
    God Bless this man❤❤❤

  • @sugakookieislifeu311
    @sugakookieislifeu311 5 років тому +1274

    *He’s adorable but I keep seeing Peter Griffin in his face*
    💀

    • @phenadoz-topicmusic8122
      @phenadoz-topicmusic8122 5 років тому +8

      Just stop breathing please.

    • @masakiposey6532
      @masakiposey6532 5 років тому +4

      ^

    • @lordpoochalot
      @lordpoochalot 5 років тому +1

      Stop watching that garbage show then

    • @sugakookieislifeu311
      @sugakookieislifeu311 5 років тому +10

      Icey Zone BTD wtf dude i wasn’t saying anything mean omg you make me wheeze😂💀

    • @sugakookieislifeu311
      @sugakookieislifeu311 5 років тому +6

      And it’s ok cos 400 other people weren’t triggered by my comment so thank u next @just an opinion @Icey Zone BTD @Masaki Posey lmfao😂💀

  • @boyinnabasement
    @boyinnabasement 5 років тому +69

    He was so chill telling those jokes and honestly I think that made them 10x better

    • @NickLynn
      @NickLynn 5 років тому +4

      AGREED 100%

  • @ggggg8853
    @ggggg8853 3 роки тому +2

    Already funnier than the grim reaper before even starting

  • @jg45ful
    @jg45ful 5 років тому +8

    He’s on the pathway of becoming unstoppable

  • @ryanmuller1994
    @ryanmuller1994 5 років тому +403

    "No food or drinks inside...s i went home" I died😂🤣

  • @Plant00based
    @Plant00based 5 років тому +179

    I am from Wisconsin and we are all like this dude, gotta love the dry humor ♥️😂

    • @nicolegall2699
      @nicolegall2699 5 років тому +1

      Kathryn Bartels same! What part of Wisconsin are you from?

    • @jakobp8758
      @jakobp8758 5 років тому +1

      I’m from Madison

    • @nicolegall2699
      @nicolegall2699 5 років тому

      Jakob P I’m from Waukesha ^

    • @colepederson1515
      @colepederson1515 5 років тому

      Kathryn Bartels that’s actually so true tho

    • @staticunion4448
      @staticunion4448 5 років тому +1

      Kathryn Bartels this was horrible if he didn’t have that backstory he would be garbage

  • @Iammosesraj
    @Iammosesraj 5 років тому +16

    Howard is such a great listener. I've noticed how multiple times on how he creates anecdotes from what the talents say before their performance.

  • @tateana5912
    @tateana5912 5 років тому +5

    I wanna give him a hug. So damn Brave!

  • @alfieyeow559
    @alfieyeow559 5 років тому +51

    Aw man this guy got me all choked up. This is what a winner looks like, even though he may not feel it, but he is the bravest man I’ve ever seen

    • @tayoaluko5547
      @tayoaluko5547 5 років тому +2

      He went from not being able to leave to house to killing it on one of the biggest stages in America, I have so much respect for that man

  • @ekaterini2957
    @ekaterini2957 5 років тому +26

    Dry clean humor. I love this guy. So funny and so talented -- his jokes require thought and clearly required thought. I can't wait to see him on TV!

  • @jaybea365
    @jaybea365 Рік тому +1

    OMG F-ing genius, when his first joke fell flat, I didn't understand that, I laughed so damn hard. This is good comedy!

  • @iamapotato.8525
    @iamapotato.8525 2 роки тому +6

    When I saw Simon's face and the crowd wasn't laughing, I feared that he was gonna get buzzered and his anxiety gets worse. Thank you for giving him a chance.
    Keep on doing what u do brother.

  • @randomvideosbymark8095
    @randomvideosbymark8095 5 років тому +413

    A very witty comedian!!! Absolutely hilarious!!!

    • @donaldtrumpwithasmallloano8666
      @donaldtrumpwithasmallloano8666 5 років тому +4

      He's the boss.

    • @richard40x
      @richard40x 5 років тому +1

      Very funny, I like him, but that ventriloquist with the bird was even funnier. It took me several jokes to get what he was doing, then he was pretty funny.

    • @theriddlerenigma7198
      @theriddlerenigma7198 5 років тому

      You are a turd nugget.

  • @kyanjones3304
    @kyanjones3304 5 років тому +154

    Howie: “You hear that? What does that feel like?”
    Kevin: “Relieving!”
    Such an inspiring person, not only to start perusing his dream at his age but also to prove that you can overcome anything, whether it’s anxiety or agoraphobia. By going up on stage and being who he is causing people to laugh and cheer must have truly felt amazing for him and he deserves every part of rejoice! ✨👏🏻

  • @belaschmidt1770
    @belaschmidt1770 3 роки тому +8

    4:05 Isaac Newton joke begins

  • @ricksalas4322
    @ricksalas4322 Рік тому +5

    Such a great performance, can’t wait to see him in front of a crowd like this again!