Kristin And Jen Have New Pronouns | Kitchen And Jorn
Вставка
- Опубліковано 14 жов 2021
- Donate to Lee's surgery fund!
www.backabuddy.co.za/champion...
Video edited by: Mia Barnett ( / miapagebarnett )
Title cards by: Oliver Rogue ( / oxrstudios )
Channel Art by: Sarah Day (sarahdayarts.com)
New videos every Friday! - Навчання та стиль
What's up everyone? Please donate to Lee's surgery fund if you have the means :D Also don't be transphobic here or you will be banned!!! And I'll hex you!! And I'll also steal all your pizza deliveries for the next 40 years!!!
Love you guys so much :) thankyou for being so AWESOME!
Also if anyone hates i will tell them to shove their hate (and this hammer 🔨!) up their bum :D
Love you 😍 guys so much and blessings angels and proud of you all so much ❤️
He/Xe/They - honestly if called a she, I wouldn't care!
I donated does that mean I get YOUR pizza deliveries?
Not my PIZZA deliveries!!!
Jen's "I'm not a lady but I am someone's sister" is The most relatable thing.
There's a poet named Rachael Wiley that has a piece called “unbow your head sister” and I remember when I saw her perform it she said she believes you don't have to be female to be someone's sister
@@emsmallwood1662 That's because it's true.
When I'm feeling spicy and someone calls me a lady, my retort is this: 'If you want to call me lady, that title requires property and a perpetual income. Whatcha got?!?'
My sister is my sister but she's my kids uncle. They get it but realistically it's not quick for them to translate. I have an aunt who has 1 name if I call by her first name, and differently pronounced if I put aunt in front of it. I say it the way she wants if aunt in front. The way her name was if I call her by her first name like her siblings.
true af
"I'm kinda just a person boppin' around"
This is such a mood and how I feel about my gender
i feel that way about my sexuality! i dont really care about the label, im just here to bop around and try my best to be a good person
Kitchen and Jorn try every gender at Trader Joe's - "femme presentation is just okay, being a terf is penalty box bad"
This comment gets my personal Best comment award ^^
I want this video extremely a lot
Ugh I'm just thinking about that long ass checkout line at Trader Joe's when they go to buy all the genders.
But is the gluten-free or the organic femme better?
I'm not hella femme, so I don't know.
This is awesome!
I’ve been calling myself “gender apathetic” for a while now, and Jen’s phrase of “just bopping around” resonates 😂 ❤️
I have definitely had times in my life where I felt this way too, gender apathetic or kind of a gender anarchist
Cass is a prefix for that! It works for gender, sexuality etc but it's basically knowing something is there but you don't care.
I've been sticking with "she" like a ship. It's traditional, I'm a mom, I was born female etc, but honestly if you called me sir or they I wouldn't care. I'm just me, and meh about gender
This topic of conversation is always fascinating to me. I've thought about it until my brain is mushy and have arrived at the conclusion that I really don't care about pronouns for me--I mean it's not important to me for me. However, I understand how/why it can be uber important to others and I respect that immensely. Keep doing what you're doing! Your content is educational, respectful, and funny. YOU WIN! ❤️
hearing you talk about being fat and gender expression was like, immediately a little healing. it took a lot of work and self-inquiry to square with my own internalized fatphobia and how i felt like i HAD to present to be socially acceptable and consumable to the public. i’m so excited for your journey and hope that it leads to happiness and freedom!!
Right? Like I've never felt "like a girl/woman" I've always felt like a whatever and as a kid I loved wearing frilly dresses for picture day but my normal clothes were very androgynous, but after puberty, as a plus size person (with DDs before I was 12) I felt extreme societal, familial, ect pressure to be femme, & it would get me attention, praise (compliments), while if I didn't present hyper femme, I'd get ignored or insulted. Since I was 16 I've had extremely long hair, (it was long before but then i got a pixie cut at 14, it was bad) and I've kept it (31 now) until just a couple months ago I got a collarbone length mullet & I love it. I can style it femme in a bunch of different ways but it can also be androgynous. And a lot of that is from not feeling that societal, etc. pressure, I've been able to experiment with my presentation lately. My partner has also been exploring their presentation & gender & being supportive of them has helped me, too.
Rambling but anyway, I could have made almost this exact same video, I love it & I didn't know I needed it.
YES THIS! I’m a fat nonbinary person and this made me feel many things. ❤️
So much this. 💗
Yep I’m a very fat person and that hit me so hard and made me feel not alone
Holy shit I'm a fat trans man and this was such a revelation
I've only told one person this, but basically, for me, "she" feels right but "they" doesn't feel wrong, so I rock with whatever
Thats basically how i feel, on the male side of things. He is fine. They wouldnt bother me. Im me and thats what matters.
That’s how I feel. She works. They feels better but I’ll go by both!
This is exactly how I feel! I resonate with "she" a smidge more than "they". Both are acceptable for me, personally. :)
Same here! Except I always feel uncomfortable, no matter what pronouns I use (she/he/they/ze)… I just say she/her because that’s how I outwardly present, but idk what I identify as 😂
I always say for me, call me any thing you want just don’t call me late for dinner which is true, I also don’t respond well to my legal name (I don’t go by it , and people only use it when I’m in trouble, which is super annoying at work because e everyone goes but it’s such a pretty name and I’m going to call you that and then we have to have a long conversation about how them using my legal name isn’t respecting me when I ask to be called by my shortened name. Sorry for the rant), and Ma’am I’m not that old don’t call me ma’am. (Also not a fan of strangers calling me sweetheart but I think that goes for everyone)
“You make gender exploration fun” has me SOBBING. That’s the sweetest kind of love, my god. I’m so glad you all have a safe and supportive space to explore yourselves
one thing I've noticed (and I don't think you've meant it this way, it's just how it's coming off) is that in this and past transition videos with Brie there's been a lot of conflating gender with the way you dress. you can dress highly femme one day and super masc the next, without it having anything to do with your gender identity. You can be non-binary and wear pink ball gowns every day, you can be a woman and wear basketball shorts and oversized t-shirts every day, you can be a man and exclusively wear victorian nightgowns. How you express yourself through clothing/makeup/hair is in no way contingent on your gender identity.
"A woman? Eh, maybe, in certain contexts, but mostly just a person bopping around" - the best description of how I feel about myself ever.
when you spoke about being fat not being allowed to be anything else I was like hmmm
And it occurred to me that as a wheelchair using person, I experience some of the same feelings. I feel like I need to perform femininity more than I did when I was able bodied. I wear makeup whenever I leave the house, I have to have my hair done etc. I can’t just be comfortable the way I was when I was able bodied. I’m not equating the experience of fatness with the experience of disability, but it’s interesting that there are parallels between people out of the societal beauty norms
Fat and disabled solidarity! Fatphobia and ableism share a lot of similarities. It's important that we be there for each other, especially for those who are both fat and disabled and experience a mixing of the two forms of oppression. (Fatphobia and ableism mix together SO much, you have no idea.)
Yup super relatable as another day disabled person
Fellow wheelchair user here, thank you for this comment!
I don’t often admit this but I don’t often dress up as a disabled fat person. Instead of feeling the need to perform perfect femininity I try very hard to not think about how I look. I dress in shapeless clothes and don’t wear make up. I admire fat people in wheelchairs who dress with flare because it’s nice to see, but I never think I will be perceived as attractive so why bother trying.
Another wheelchair user here too who is also fat! I feel like I’m never comfortable in my body. I used to be slim then life happened and 17 yrs bring in a chair with a progressive illness made me gain weight.. I’m never comfortable in my own body!
"I'm a women but also meh" is how I feel about myself too!
Thanks for sharing your journeys with us. I love seeing how supportive you are of eachother.
That's how I describe mine too. I say it's "woman but not. Like vaguely woman shaped in a fog but is it woman who knows".
Thanks for the quote. So which one is a she and which one a day? Can't watch video, husband gets hella triggered by pronoun changing talks... but I want to know.
I'm also a woman but... meh. I just don't care for the whole labeling system as a whole. I'm human. A happy, healthy human and I don't care if someone calls me a dude. I never go out of my way to correct anyone. 🤷
Literally me
I never really understood the battle on pronouns. I'm a woman and whatnot but if you called me a he or sir, that's really not going to change anything for me, I'll still respond and won't care enough to correct you.
Although, maybe the shaved head from behind is what leads to most of it, but damn it's too soft and fuzzy to grow out again.
This comments is old, but I just have to say: yes!! Me too!! Like woman-y. But not very. I don't enjoy people explicitly calling me a 'she'.
As a fat, queer, Indigenous person, Kristen, you mean the world to me and all your vulnerable videos make me feels so represented, seen, and heard. Thank you so much
As a middle aged married mother I have always enjoyed you two wonderful humans so much. Your content is not only funny, but it can be very educational to someone like me. Although I do not understand most of this yet, I absolutely have no right to judge. Nor does anyone else! It’s not my life or my journey. But… it is my obligation to learn! I know it’s not your job to educate people like me who have yet to understand everything there is about gender and how someone presents themselves. I just want to tell you how much I appreciate everything you share that helps me learn more. I do not discriminate nor judge, and would like to consider myself someone who is an ally. I will continue to learn and keep on respecting each and every person just as they are or choose to be!
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for this comment. The world needs more people who are open to learning respectfully!
That’s all we can do is allies: keep learning 😁
This is so beautiful!!! Everything about this is what more people need to hear 🥺💫
This is such a lovely comment 💘
I agree that it is not any one person's job to educate others, but it is also really important for some people to educate others. If someone does not feel comfortable doing so, they absolutely shouldn't, but eventually with any topic that still needs better understanding by a huge chunk of society, someone needs to step up to the plate. It isn't fair that it needs to happen, but otherwise we would not have books to reference or videos like these, etc. to show those who do not understand, and also ask more questions than we ourselves might be able to answer (which also means as allies we probably need to do more research too). I would never say it's any one person's obligation by any means, but it is important for some people to do so. I see a lot of people online just say "google it". If someone is being combative about the subject, by all means don't give them too much of your time or they will stomp all over it. But if someone is genuinely curious and does not have a lot of people in their lives with experience on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, it doesn't hurt to point them in the right direction. Show them what to search, but don't hold their hand through it. There's a lot of scary misinformation out there for a lot of topics like gender identity, race, etc. Just telling someone to google it could mean they don't learn the true experience of someone, which to me is why we have so many people hating critical race theory right now. They likely have no idea what it is. Sorry for the rant. You're doing great, and I appreciate your take on this. It is very important.
I will be giggling about Kristhem and Genderfer for the rest of the weekend, well done Brie.
So much love to you both for sharing the journey. I came out late 2019 and it was lonely and painful, and it brings me so much joy to hear about folks feeling chill and supported about these questions.
xoxoxo, a they/them in a backwards ball cap :)
Same. It was epic.
Same here, as mentioned was epic and love it!
This couldn't be said any better.
I hope you are much more supported by your chosen friends and family now than you were in 2019. If not, you have a friend in me. Best of luck on the rest of your journey.
if she’s comfortable with it i would honestly love to see brie more, she’s really funny AND had great insight
yesssss
Brie is so funny. I love her so much
me too!
I agree! We love Brie!
AND I wish they would mic Brie up more often too
As a fat they/she with a trans spouse, this video (Kitchen’s perspective especially) is truly reflective of my journey. Thank you for being so vocal about your journey and for being such wonderful humans. Y’all are the best ♥️
You have the best smile! Good wishes for you and your spouse!
@@ladyredl3210 Awh thank you!!!(:
You are so beautiful! 😁 I hope you have a great day!
I’m also a fat she/they with a trans partner. It’s so good to see some rep for us
Ahhh I snorted at Brie’s Kris-them, Gender-fer joke. What a way to walk on screen!
In my native language Finnish we only have one gender-neutral pronoun (hän), so usually you don't have to think about it too much. However, I do go out of my way to ask my friends and people I meet (especially if they seem at least somewhat non-binary presenting) which pronoun they would prefer me to use if I talked about them in English.
That being said, I also try to avoid using gendered language in general when talking to people (using "Sir", "Ma'am" or "Miss" etc.). I work retail and customer-service in an alt-fashion store and lots of our customers are LGBTQ+ people (we sell a lot of Pride flags, pins and other accessories to celebrate their identity).
I think this is the least I can do as a Cis-ally. :)
same in Hungarian (ő)!! so when English speakers ask me about my pronouns i just go😀 she/ they/ he i guess? i mean its lovely of them, dont get me wrong, but because of my mother tongue i just know that its more about linguistics than it is about gender, you know what i mean? but also because of this outside perspective when people go "if you were born female you're she/her😠😤" i just laugh. (also hello fellow finno-ugric language family member!!)
Hän!
Same with Turkish, we have one pronoun for he/she/it and that’s “o”.
My favorite thing about Finnish is how people use the pronoun se (it) to refer to other people but hän (she/he) when talking about pets. The complete opposite of what you're are supposed to do.
We still use a lot of heavily gendered language, but I hope the switch to being more inclusive and gender neutral will be slightly easier when we can skip the whole pronoun debate.
swedish: Hen. but I never liked it, something about it makes it hard to use. So personally I use the Swedish plural translation of They/Them (De/Dem) simply because that's what you see in older text and stuff.
I had never heard someone talk about being fat in relation to gender, and holy shit that made me open my eyes. I’m genderfluid and it took a lot for me to realise that and I now know that it’s because I’m fat and I’ve been trying so hard to avoid the harassment that comes with that. I’m so glad that you’re starting to figure out who you are and I’m so proud that you’re willing to share you experience and help other queer people.
same here!!
I feel this, Kitchen. I want to grow my body hair out but told my partner I wanted to lose 20lbs first because I can't be "fat AND hairy" so... The whole "you can only be one thing" is really an unconscious truth for me. Keep spreading the love 🌈🙏
As someone who just started using She/They pronouns this week (thank you to my lovely therapist for the encouragement to explore who I am) I have never felt more seen 💜 for once I feel like I’ve got someone going through the exact same thing. Thank you so much Kristen you really are such a great role model and thank you both for providing such a safe space in this community
Me too *high five *
Still watching the video, so I don't know if Kristen explains, but I'm confused by the mixed pronouns. Can someone explain why she is ok, but her isn't and they is preferred?
@@amanda9301 yes, I don't really understand either.
It’s usually like they’re “sets” of pronouns. Like she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, etc. Saying they want she/they pronouns is just shorthand for a mix of the two sets! Not necessarily just those two words.
For example, “Yeah, they’re in the living room.”
“What’re they doing?”
“Just getting her book.”
*like THERE ARE sets
I teach Sociology of Gender at a university here in California. One of the first thinks I teach my students is the difference between gender identity and gender expression. It sounds like you might have some reservations about embracing the nonbinary identity because you occasionally present femme. I want to remind you that it’s so valid to identify however you want, no matter how you look. I’m nonbinary and I generally define it as anyone who exists outside of/in between the two-gender binary system. This is not a label that we should gatekeep. If it feels right for you, then it’s you. Sending lots of good gender vibes
Me too. There’s got to be more to it than what you wear. A person can be a woman and wear any kind of clothes.
I fully agree! My sister presents as a man but very much feels & identities as a woman.
This is what held me back for the longest time to accept im agender. Im AFAB, have no disphoria, and can have a lot of fun dressing femme some times. But I dont “feel” like a woman. Or anything else! It feels so free and validating to know now that even if my expression is quite femme im still validly agender
That’s super helpful. Thanks for that comment. I’m a Nurse at a large hospital and although I’m very open it’s hard for me to wrap my head around some of the terminology and then asking 70yos about their preferred pronouns on admission because it’s mandated. I feel conflicted for not asking enough and then having to ask.
This is so important and really needs to be talked about more. I am a transguy and a am mostly masculine, both outward style and “typical” behavior, but not entirely. I have been having thoughts about femininity and feminine expiration. Difference is now that people don’t missgender me no matter how I express myself. That is what makes the difference to me and my well-being.
For me clothing has absolutely nothing to do with my gender identity or presentation. There are days I wear flannel and jeans and other days when I am in dresses and full makeup. I dress for comfort and practicality not for the expression of my gender. Your gender should not be defined by your clothing. Clothing can be one way to express, but never once have I thought hey, I'm dressed like a guy today, maybe I am one. I almost feel like it would be better to strip the labels and focus on being yourself, whoever that is. I know a few teenagers who are feeling pressured to IDENTIFY and it is ultimately stopping them from self discovery because they feel pressured to fit into a label. Who they are as teens could change as they grow. I have friends all over the spectrum of identity, and they just were who they were. No pressure to label themselves for societies benefit. They were who they were and that is all. The need to declare is a need that I hope fades, as the need to simply be one's self becomes more important. You do not owe anyone an explanation or definition.
You can be a girl and not wear dresses… I’m a fat girl and I never ever wear dresses.
If you're allowed (I mean for in person) and comfortable, I would love to see a shopping video of Kristin exploring their style, trying on different clothing they're interested in, maybe for a week or something. :)
Yess me too because they have always had amazing style! I found them from a fashion video years ago!!! 🙌🏻
I'd love to see her make a video like that! I think they have amazing style and I'd love to see it transformed into a more androgynous or masc look. It'd also be interesting to have Jen style them in a more masc/androgynous style, since Jen already dresses that way.
“your gender is not being able to drink water” I CRIED
I'm a trans guy, and before I was out, being even a little bit femme felt like I was in drag that I didn't want to be in. Now that I'm out, I'm enjoying a bit more flamboyancy, and I'm looking forward to being able to do things like wear eyeliner without being misgendered. Gender and gender presentation are hard and weird and everyone should do whatever makes us feel better.
Definitely always felt like drag. I always LOOKED like I was in drag too, which I later found out was because I’m also intersex. I never looked like a woman even when I was pretending to be one. It feels much less like a performance now, although I’m not particularly feminine anymore.
As a trans person. It makes me feel so safe when cis people start thinking about pronouns on another level. (Not saying you are cis, but as a generalization). Not having to be the obviously queer person in the room pointing out my pronouns is so nice. I feel like everyone should start introducing themselves and their pronouns. So thank you, and I’m glad to be your little lab rat. It just so happens that I enjoy myself a good slice of cheese
As a fellow trans person I completely agree. Seeing them both be more open and having these conversations with their audience makes me so happy and feel so much safer in my own choices.
Yes exactly!!!! I’ve thought about this so much with my internet best friend like at least normalize They/Them pronouns instead of assuming. People misgender them all the time idk I care about them a lot so it bugs me especially when people who know do it on purpose. I don’t say anything unless they give me permission to. Which they have given me permission on the one person that does it on purpose. And with me questioning my own pronouns I agree with introducing yourself with your pronouns or asking people their pronouns or using They/Them instead of assuming.
Yes!! As an enby who uses they/them pronouns, it made me so unbelievably happy when the new kid at work came up to me and asked my pronouns out of the blue. It was so normal and not awkward (even though he was shy) and it just made me feel so good.
As a cis person every time I introduce myself to anyone I include my pronouns and ask what the other persons name and pronouns are. Ex “Hi im (insert my name) and I use she/her pronouns.” “What is your name and pronouns?” And then they typically introduce themself with their name and pronouns. I try my hardest to be inclusive and use them/they pronouns for anyone who I don’t know their pronouns. Did this make sense? WS I just rambling lol
I think it's good to encourage people to be open about their pronouns, but it wouldn't be fair to _expect_ or _compel_ or _put in the spotlight_ people to do so.
Think about when you were questioning your gender: would you have liked having someone pressuring you to say your pronouns, when "she/her" (to my understanding you are a trans man, correct me if I'm wrong) felt wrong, but maybe at the time other pronouns would have felt uncomfortable too?
You will always have different people at different stages in their journeys, and if you make this mandatory for everyone, you'll make it easier for those who are out, but worse for those who aren't. Leave it optional, don't put people under pressure.
Oof, the pressure of coerced feminity as a form of protection as a fat person. After I gained a lot of weight post-recovery (AN), I started wearing men's clothes bc I could find them in my size, and then I figured out I actually like men's clothes way more. As a masc nonbinary person, there was so much pressure to go back to feminity, and it was very tough to resist that. But now I can finally play with jewelry and stuff again without that pressure. It's a journey, and I'm so happy for you two on yours
Genuinely curious question: as all kinds of women can wear all kinds of clothes, why does changing clothing style connect to changing pronouns?
It doesn’t. Gender is different to gender expression and gender expression is different to language, you don’t get a uniform when you come out or prefer new language. Some people change clothing styles when they change pronouns because they’re realizing themselves, but there’s an abundance of masculine trans women, feminine trans men and non-androgynous NB people. For trans people, it’s common to start dressing like yourself after you come out as yourself, but it’s not mandatory and it’s not exclusive to trans people. For example, previous to coming out or changing your pronouns, you may be forcing yourself to pretend to be something you aren’t- like a trans woman pretending and trying to be a man. She may change her style after coming out because she’s stopped forcing herself to try to be a man and has started accepting herself for who she is. She may also prefer different clothing that shapes her body the right way, when previously she was only wearing men’s clothes that didn’t make her look or feel correct.
This is also very different for everyone. Once you’ve met one trans person (or anyone with “non standard” pronouns) you’ve only met one. Everyone has different reasonings for everything, and everyone’s experience with the concepts of language, gender and clothing are very personal. It’s the same for cis people, which is why you see everyone having different styles. It can be affirming for a cis woman to dress very feminine, just like it can be affirming for someone like Kristen to wear something like this. Kristen did a pretty good job at explaining how their expression relates to their gender and pronouns and how she was sort of hiding behind femininity.
Jen is such a mood. I'm at the point where all my pronouns online are she/they, but I'm not about to ask people irl to use them bc I'm, as they put it, "mostly just a person bopping around"
Anyone started questioning their gender during the pandemic? Still trying to figure out if I’m a cis non conforming woman or non binary. Both feel right, I just don’t know which fits better. Being a bigger person, I never considered the relationship between fat phobia and presentation until hearing Kristen’s comments. Growing up trying to be what this perfect girl was exhausting. I grew out my hair, did my nails, dressed a bit femme and put on a pretty smile for society to accept what I thought I had to be. To be honest, i was really bad at it too. I spent my entire childhood and early adulthood creating a character that I’m now trying to destroy. The pandemic and TikTok (taught me that gender was something that could be questioned) were the best thing to happen to me in terms redefining who I am.
I think because we've all had to spend more time with ourselves than with society. It's like we can step away from that societal view of ourselves and figure out who we are without all of that. I did a lot of gender and identity discovery when I got really sick and was mostly housebound for years. Figuring out who you are when no one is looking is a really important journey.
I totally get your struggle! I've identified on the nonbinary spectrum for 2 years (i think October is literally the anniversary month of me trying new pronouns) and sometimes I still wonder, am I nonbinary or do i just dress kinda masc half the time? I've come to this nice middle ground where i feel my identity as a woman somehow coexist and fit comfortably with my identity as nonbinary. I just exist as a human and I enjoy simply floating in the fluidity of gender. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just incredibly desperate to escape the stereotypes forced upon women, but the nonbinary identity is somehow also something i just know. I found an identity called demiwoman, where sometimes you feel more like a woman and sometimes you feel more like not a woman, whatever that may be. I understand most people don't understand that word though, so i tend to stick to nonbinary unless I'm discussing gender, which prompts me to enlighten them with the information on the identity and how it seems to fit my experience with gender. it's a wacky ride but you're not alone. And if you ever get frustrated or tired with the labels and you just need to not think about it for a bit, just remember you're a human first
Yess I realised I’m non binary femme during the pandemic. It hit me recently that I performed womanhood in relationships prior to the pandemic.
My mom has been having the same issue
@@bellrockin913 Thank you for sharing! I hadn’t heard the term demiwoman before and it feels like it fits for me too :)
Perfect timing, in my college class we all went around and told everyone are pronouns. A lot of us were clueless so it's nice to become more educated and be able to respect others in a way most unknowingly don't. I don't know if what I'm saying makes sense, but yeah. Love you all.
Tbh, some of my fave Ladylike videos were ones where Kristen was stylistically challenged because I felt like she was confined so strictly to her femme box… That makes total sense now!
The answer to "whats your gender?" being a serious of unintelligible noises is such a mood.
Thank you for offering a fat perspective on this, because that often gets lost/ignored. And it's important for both sides! Not only does the requirement for hyper-femininity restrict trans fats (lol) but as a cis lady fat, I often feel like my femininity/womanhood is invalidated because I don't perform it hard enough. (Add in being gay, and lord....) "Futch" Kristin always felt right when we got snippets, so super excited for this development. That said, if you're comfortable, if we can get fashion videos with the new style exploration I'm sure we'd all be super excited to come along. Congrats!!
Ditto! FASHION MONTAGE
Kristen, I completely get you because I’m a plus size genderfluid person (afab) but my pronouns are He/Him/They/Them. I would always say when asked my pronouns “I don’t really care, I use them all” because I knew that when people first saw me they would instantly use she/her. But now I realise that I don’t have to use she/her for the sake of other people. I still dress in feminine clothes but that doesn’t define my gender. Clothes and style does not equal Gender. Proud of you both for telling your gender identity journeys (Also Bree’s Kristhem and Genderifer names were iconic) 🖤🥰
same exact experience other than the plus-size bit!! i always say "idc" but in my heart i like they/he
I’m just curious, what makes you feel like a “he” when your gender expression is feminine? Just trying to understand! Thanks :)
@@trishmaloney5674 My gender expression isn’t *souly* feminine. My presentation to society leans more feminine (long hair, breasts as well as wears makeup, sometimes wears skirts) so society will perceive me as a female just based on looks (so even if I wore traditionally masculine clothing I would still look like a female just in men’s clothing). But my actual gender leans towards masculinity (the reason I know this is because when I am not looking in the mirror, I perceive myself as someone masculine but when I look in the mirror and see a feminine body it makes me feel like I’m in the wrong body) however I know I’m not transgender as there are days where I do feel a connection with the body I have (these days are outnumbered by the days I don’t feel this connection) which is why I identify as genderfluid as use he/they pronouns. Hopefully this helps explain it, but remember, gender is a spectrum and not everyone is the same 😊
Gosh I feel this so much. I too feel like I use she/her for the sake of other people too. Thank you and wish you the best!
"I'm just a person bopping around."
the most accurate description
I understood that feeling of "I'm a fat person, I'm not allowed to be all these Other things" in my soul. I think because for me, I've rejected this need to please everyone with my identity, that this in itself others me. I get to be fat. I get to be a bear. I get to be femme. (lets talk about how femme and bear doesn't get to go together so often). I get to be queer. My intersectional Othered identities make me who I am, and I just said screw it. I am who I am.
“Mostly just a person bopping around” is such a beautiful way to describe one’s self.
Jen's whole bit from 11:50-12:30 just made me love them more. Like she is the only person I can think of that can go from quoting the freaking Aristocats to saying how sexy they are in less than a minute. And they are indeed a person just bopping around.
I will always appreciate how much you two are willing to share with your audience and how you handle it in a delicate way while not beating around the bush and still making jokes all the while. You inspire me everyday. Thank you for involving us on your journeys.
This may be helpful to those afraid that trying out different pronouns is too scary and permanent: think about them as fridge magnets, not stickers. If you end up not liking them, just swap ‘em out. No picking and scraping and Goo-Gone required. :)
Yeah I'm floating around the transmasculine bit of the spectrum, so I've gone through a fair few set of pronouns, and it's not hard to try them out and swap them around, especially if you have an online space that your family doesn't interact with you on so you can chuck different pronouns in your bio and leave them for a few days/weeks and see what the vibe is. The same trick works for trying out names as well
I really like this idea :) Thank you
That's sweet 🥰 People have made gender discovery to be that big definitive thing you have to be sure about the moment you speak about it, when it's a whole process that can also have to be tried again later in life or under new circumstances. You can try things, you can be sure and then change your mind, people evolve! And let's stop saying "it's a phase" as if it's a bad thing, cause it's through a series of small phases that we discover new things about ourselves! It's not because it's temporary that it's not important!
I never want to question anyone’s gender identity but I’m having a hard time understanding how the way you dress/present is related to identity. It seems to me that we should all be able to dress however we want without “feeling” like the opposite gender. I’ve worn what would be considered masculine clothes without make up on because I wanted to be comfortable and because I just liked the clothes. It has never made me feel like another gender. It just seems like Kristin is more interested in a different gender expression vs a gender identity. Please no bad comments, I just want to learn and understand.
I am also having this confusion. I'm a trans man, a more feminine leaning trans man, and I guess I'm just struggling to understand how someone liking dressing masc = using they/them pronouns. Masc and butch women exist. Women can be GNC. That doesn't mean they are not women. And I think people conflating gender presentation and gender identity can get into some questionable and harmful territory for GNC people, both trans and cis. I'm still a man even if I choose to wear more fem clothes one day. Wearing earrings or a skirt doesn't suddenly mean I am a woman or nonbinary. My gender is a fundamental part of my conceptualization of self. It's basically my neurological sex. It's independent of my preferred aesthetic.
ok i’m a butch nb person so i think i can kinda explain this: they aren’t connected in the sense that “oh i’m dressing this way so now i’m x.” they’re connected in the sense that people (&you) look at yourself much differently in different clothes! that’s what clothes are for! and once you start changing the way you look, if you have a more complicated gender (idk how else to say this, like obviously everyone has complex relationships to their gender but like. if your gender itself IS complicated?) looking at yourself in a new way can really unlock a part of your brain that you’ve shut off! i hope this makes sense & helps you understand ❤️
It's an affirming thing, both internally and externally, especially at the exploration stage and it's very similar to pronouns - at least in my opinion. I agree that presentation is totally different from gender, but they can be relational for some. Gender *is* internal, but it can be hard to see something as "real" when you can't see it, so to better examine yourself and your gender, it can help to examine your presentation so that what you see in the mirror inspires more thought and/or clicks with your feelings of how you want to be perceived. And that's the other thing: people often want to be perceived how they actually are, and take steps to guide those perceptions through presentation, which can, at its extremes, be very affirming or very toxic in its own right. And what I mean by presentation being similar to pronouns is: they don't necessarily reflect what your gender is, but they're a way to externalize and affirm and explore your identity in relation to the world. Sorry for the long ramble lol, and these are just my musings as someone who definitely hasn't had a big exploratory phase in my gender journey; I'm agender and I'm gender neutral in every sense of the word haha, meaning I'm no-fuss about presentation in my day to day and don't question what feels comfortable when I find it, not trying to find a pattern or cultivate one. So others can speak better on the relationship between expression and identity, I'm definitely coming at it from a perspective much like yours.
I can't speak to gender specifically but it gives me similar feeling as to when people would call me a lesbian. Like just because someone CALLED me a lesbian didn't make me one but there was a little thrill of like "oh yes that is the right thing". While calling myself bi kinda felt right, kinda? But also maybe not? And finally hearing other people say gay or lesbian made the feelings of contentment and "rightness" too large to ignore.
Does that make sense?
The external doesn't dictate the internal but sometimes seeing unnamed feelings put in the exterior can help name them.
I agree. I think the entire idea of it just pushes gender stereotypes. We as either men or women can dress and act however we want, gender does not and should not matter and that is what we should be focusing on and working towards, rather than quickly labelling ourselves something else. Although I'll never understand or agree, I'll always use someones preferred pronouns and I do believe there are some non-binary folk out there, but anyone comfortable with both she/they or he/they is surely just looking for some attention, rather than have gender dysphoria...
As a fellow fat she/they, i totally understand what you’re talking about when it comes to using hyper femininity to boost my “social status”, currently i have masculine to androgynous presentation and people really do treat you differently!! Like it’s not necessarily bad but it has been different!
as a young, plus size non-binary/gender-fluid person, this warms my heart. y'all make me so happy!!😭😭so proud of you all🤍🤍
Plus size non-binary/gender-fluid peeps unite!!
This is such a good video. I am cis female with a bilateral mastectomy that I don't camouflage. This helped me understand that I have been "performing femininity" to avoid being misgendered. It is so frustrating and exhausting. Thank you for helping me identify this as a source of discomfort. ❤
What a great example, thanks for sharing. 💕
"I don't know yet" is such a gender mood, I came out as genderfluid 8 years ago and since then I've tried many ways of referring to myself. Have settled into a very happy and comfy any-pronouns-work agender being but I definitely still have "I don't know yet" moments where I'm questioning it all over again. Just tend to end up shrugging and wearing whatever I feel like that day and not worrying about it too much. Been a lot of work getting to the point where I can just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my way through it but I'm always so glad to see such a huge diversity in experience with people who do explore their gender, and knowing that there are so many ways to do that makes me more comfortable just being myself and not trying to fit a recipe lol. So grateful for people like you who talk so openly about it!
y’all this is the trans experience “your gender is not being able to drink water” these jokes are IT and I love this😂
kristin talking about how they/them people don’t have to be androgynous made me so happy. because my partner used they/them pronouns, but they have a beard and dress fairly masculine because it is most comfortable to them. sometimes they wear makeup and have fun colors on their clothes but they get misgendered in public a LOT and get called “sir” because they present fairly masculine. my point is, thank you for bringing up this fact. because it relates to so many people and validates so so much.
happy shes/theys! congrats and thanks for sharing!!!
“if you’re having questions, it’s worth investigating” is so true!! to anyone questioning their gender: best case scenario you discover something new about yourself (exciting!!) worst case scenario you gain a deeper overall understanding of yourself (cis 2: advanced level)
p.s. letting go of the armor of “safe presentation” is so scary and hard. thanks for sharing with us! jock clothes kick ass and you’re killing it
Kitchen, Jorn, and Brie are so funny, sweet, and handle these conversations so well. I love seeing them support each other is such positive ways, this video was great💕
I breathed such a sigh of relief watching Kristen talk about her experience. I feel a lot of shame like I’m a “bad” non binary person bcs I limit my gender expression by what I feel like I can get away with for my weight. It’s very comforting to have this door about fatphobia and gender exploration opened ❤
Absolutelyyyyy. So glad Kristen and Jen (and Brie) have given us this place to talk about this
Kristen and Jen: Stumbling over their words trying to express themselves.
Brie: Strolling in like a boss and summing them up in a very eloquent sentence. 🔥
i feel like this is high level trolling, like the backwards cap, the jersey, this is giving performance art
Honest serious question: Do women FEEL like women? I don't understand what that means. I've always felt like, "I'm a human... and I also happen to be a woman." I'm privileged in that I can be chill about it, but I'm also curious about what it "feels" like if you definitely identify as a woman.
i have the same feeling! like, i’m a woman and that’s cool, but like is there a certain way i’m supposed to feel as a woman? because in my experience, i don’t “feel” like a woman, i just am a woman and am okay with that. definitely not trying to minimize the experiences and thought process of non cis people, but i’m also curious of what it “feels” like to identify as a woman when not assigned female at birth.
No. It doesn’t feel like anything. You just are.
@@ORGSE just curious, but what’s your explanation for trans individuals then? definitely not trying to argue about things, i’m just trying to understand everyone’s perspectives
@@angelac7125 So, not a trans woman, but I am transmasc. I would say that 'feeling' like your gender is the result of language not being precise enough or having the vocabulary to express it yet. To me, it's a combination of my own sense of self, feelings, and what gives me gender euphoria vs. dysphoria. Because there are so many different pieces involved, it's very hard to articulate what, exactly, is wrong with your gender assigned at birth other than a sense that it's wrong that can be buried under a lot of other things. (editing to add that that last part is prior to realizing that you're not that gender, or at least it was that way for me)
I guess the way I feel it is that it just feels right. I mean I never could be anything but what I am. And what I am is female and what you feel is truly right is what you are. Does that make sense? ( I'm not saying there is a way to be something but, more that when you know you know.)
I love this video a lot; as a non-binary trans man, it means a lot. The three of you consistently make my world brighter.
Kristen is a wonderful person! They look just as good in more masc-coded clothing as they do in high femme clothing. I'm proud of them for taking the time to explain their gender to us so they can explore pronoun and gender choices more freely and comfortably.
Jen is also wonderful! While they may feel more lax about their gender and pronouns, their comfort and identity is just as important. Little sister energy, for sure.
I am here for the clothing episode where Kristen discover how fricken stunning they will look in black leggings, a cute flannel, sports bra (cause ya don't need a real top with those beauties!) And high tops. Oh! And their hair in a top knot.
I'm so excited to watch both of your journeys! ❤️
I love their hair when it’s up, literally gorgeous
You two are absolute gems. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Kristhem, you should be very proud of the bravery you showed while sharing.
Kristin talking about how they felt the need to present femme because they were inspirational to people. Me, struggling with my non-binary journey, I'M SO INSPIRED BY THIS VIDEO!
Growing up as a fat girl, I leaned very much in the opposite direction - I presented masc for most of my life, sticking to jeans, baggy shirts, never wearing makeup and over the course of the pandemic, I started exploring more fem styles and discovered that I loved them so much - I've been wearing dresses and skirts and way more makeup and really exploring a more traditional feminine presentation, it's been really fun. Thanks for letting us know about your pronouns Kristin and I wish you all the very best on your gender journey
Me too!! I always identified as 'tom boy' just because I was fat. I played Netball, did competitive swimming and was pretty good at long distance running but my genetics were just against me from day 1...I was always a 'big girl' as that was my body shape and I was constantly bullied for it. I wore a skirt to high school one day and it was awful so I stuck to cargo pants and outside of school I wore tracksuits/sweat pants/baggy hoodies...then I met my husband, moved from the UK to the US and my husband loves my body. I've gained so much confidence and bought dresses, wear short shorts, wear leggings/yoga pants and no one cares or says anything.
im so proud of you. and brie. and jen. seeing how far youve come has inspired me in so many ways. i love yall and keep doing what your doing, because you are changing lives! ❤
As a gender fluid fat person, this video makes me feel so happy that you’re acknowledging and sharing your journeys. I hope you do more videos like this ☺️❤️
Loving this. I know you were anxious/nervous but it felt like your body language was more confident and comfortable than before. We love you and this community!
When you said “it’s not contagious” I laughed because when I came out the first time my brother who is a decade older than me laughed and said to tell my parents that he sneezed on me Lolol
I relate to Jen SO HARD. Like, I’m just me. I’m just kinda of boppin around and my gender is like, a noncommittal wiggly plastic noise. I’m whatever pronouns you want to call me as long as it said with respect.
same
As a Gender Fluid AFAB person with a Gender Questioning AFAB housemate this is a really interesting to hear about the journey you guys are on.
I also just want to say that however you guys feel right now is correct now, even if it isn't in the future. Gender and Sexuality aren't static or set in stone.
I think the fact that all three of you felt comfortable enough to film and post this video is absolutely amazing 💜
I am honestly leaning towards she/they in that I feel like I am female, and I enjoy presenting female, and would 9 days out of 10 be solidly a woman, but then I have days where I don't really connect to that and can't be bothered with any of it and just feel like a bit of a blob. But I don't know if that's enough? Like, I am very happy to be 'she' and I identify as female, but I wouldn't reject 'they' ya know? x
Edit - oh 'Girl+' makes a lot of sense! x
I feel exactly the same way and I’ve never known how to put into words!!
I'm so glad that Kristin was willing to share their discovery with us, as well as Jen. I have always loved Jen's more androgynous look and think they pull it off really well. ^^
"I'm just a person bopping around." You hit it right on the nose, Jen.
Did she "bop" it on the nose?
I remember a few years back my younger sister watched a video you were in and told me that you reminded her of me. I took this as a huge compliment, because you've absolutely inspired me to keep pushing against barriers as a fat, queer, femme human. I've been in the process of trying to figure out my own enby identity for a good five years now, and I've found that it's definitely complex and often confusing, especially when you like to have long hair and wear makeup. Thank you for making this video, I am hoping to come out to my parents soon (again), and this has been very encouraging.
I feel very seen and I'm very appreciative that you are so open about your journeys. It really helps to see people talk about their explorations on these topics. Thank you so much for sharing 💜
I would love love LOVEEEEE to see Kirtstin and Brie get a new wedding that matches who they are now. Side note: Kristin is looking hot hot hot in this outfit! 🔥🔥🔥
hashtag get Brie a wedding dress 2021!
Omg this made me cry happy tears
Y’all! This video dropped at such a perfect time for me! In my college class we talked about gender this week. I have always considered myself as a cisgender female. But I’ve had moments where I definitely feel more masculine. This week I have opened up more about this experience for me. I have always felt like I was not masculine enough to question my gender expression or identity. I didn’t feel comfortable to consider myself to be bigender. Thank y’all so much!!
Just when I think I can't love Kitchen & Jorn any more....thank you both for being so open and honest and vulnerable! You both are amazing human beings!
100% can relate. thank you both for being so open, honest, and brave. Hearing you say the same things out loud that I think in my head all the time is everything.
A good analogy that I use for my gender is a soup (I'm Genderfluid). Preface: you are not allowed to judge my ingredients, my chef friend has already done so thoroughly.
So I have four ingredients, Onions for Female, Tomatoes for Male, Basil for Nonbinary, and water for Agender. The temperature can also vary, I use that to represent how much I want to be perceived that day. These ingredients are being added to an ever draining pot and the previous day can leak into the next, but sometimes the pot is tipped over and we start fresh. So for instance I can have a lukewarm tomato basil day, a cold onion water and one tomato day, or a boiling water with a single basil leaf day, etc.
A little lore for my personal gender is that I like to think that it is the rats from Ratatouille that are making my soup. But these are not the normal rats, these ones are absolute idiots who have no cooking ability, so Remy has put them in a corner and told them to keep busy by making their own soup.
Hello Internet person, thank you so much for this metaphor!!!! This just helped me think about my own gender so much easier!
I think my own metaphor might be this: I’m not exactly a mix of genders in the sense of “red paint + blue paint = purple paint” but more like a tie dye fabric with lots of red and pink splotches but also some blue ones….. and now I think Im bigender/ she/he 😳
@@elainatruhart1103 That's such a good metaphor! It's like bunch of genders coexisting at the same time. I'm glad I could help 😊
This is such a delightful metaphor. The imagery is wholesome, fun, and engaging, and it really does help to illustrate the concept very well. Thank you for gifting my imagination this description!
Make this a children’s book ☺️
This is adorable LOL I just refer to myself as The Thing from the Abyss. My gender does what it does daily because it's subject to the whims of The Abyss.
my first thought when i saw kristen’s outfit was “wow i like this style on them” :) then when they said they never would’ve worn it on camera before i was definitely surprised pikachu face because i think they look great!
This video really touched my heart. I have been I’m on a similar journey and I’m so grateful for people, like you, sharing their stories so that I can remember that we are all just trying to find out what fully makes us our authentic self. Thank you 💚
I really needed this since I’m a plus femme person who wants to throw up every time I’m called a “woman” and has gone through nearly exactly the same thoughts. I’m leaning more and more they every day, but I hope your journey has been going well Kitchen 💛
Guinea Pig here! (and fellow she/they using human 😌): I love Kristen! I think they are really cool and can't wait to see her explore their fashion further! Love the nonbinary Asian American representation from Jen! It really means a lot to me. I adore their humor and always look forward to seeing them in these videos ❤ I hope seeing y'all's pronouns being used is helpful going forward and best of luck!
I totally understand the whole "infected" thing cause my brother came out as genderfluid before coming out as trans masc. He uses he him they them but prefers he but presents femme regardless of how he identified. I was already super gay but I never really felt like I "belonged" to any "gender". I could relate to men and I could relate to women. My voice is fairly high despite being a 6 foot 3 tall rather hairy male build. Like I got called ma'am and miss all the time and never felt bad about it but also the same when I got called sir. I never really "thought" I was a boy or a girl or anything. I always felt like an alien tbh. Not of this earth. I didnt understand gender roles because the women in my life were strong and independent and the men were hyper emotional but society said its the other way thats appropriate. I hated when schools would separate us by gender as I've always been more comfortable having no gender segregation cause once i was alone with just men, i didnt feel safe. But once I was alone with all women, I felt isolated. I always questioned it and felt that because I dnn't identify as a Trans person, I couldn't be genderfluid. I always felt that because I "present male" I couldn't say otherwise (tbh thats because they dont make much "big and tall" good quality "feminine" clothes). I thought because i was comfortable in my "male" body that I couldn't be fluid. But my brother came out and we had many discussions and I started to relate to a lot of people online who were just like me. (I was instantly infected right there and then. 🤣) I feel more masc at times and more femme at times but I mostly feel a mix and a lack of at the same time most of the time. As long as the conversation is respectful, I dont mind any pronouns but you can tell when a person goes out of their way to ignore you and use your "sex" to "make a point."
I am genderfluid. I use He/She/They. Getting more and more comfortable with using the term "non-binary". The biggest things i learned in my journey is that "Presentation =/= Gender" and that you are valid in anyway you choose to identify.
Good for you 💚
this is such a good way of putting it. i feel isolated with just women and unsafe with just men. the segregation of genders rlly forces us to think about our identities lol.
“Once I was alone with just men, I didn’t feel safe. But once I was alone with all women, I felt isolated.” That is one of the best ways I’ve heard to describe my own experiences as non-binary/gender fluid. I’m AFAB, but have felt very similar ways. Thank you for this
Thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough with your fan base to share this. We all support you no matter what.
Personally, I’m more so in the same space as Jen where I’m just a person. Some days I am very femme like Kristen and other days I’m as masc as can be. It means a lot that you’re sharing this journey with us. Quarantine has helped me with my journey, I hope you continue your journey with people that support you.
Thanks so much for the talk on this. I love that the community y'all have built is safe & brave enough to talk candidly about these topics, all because of the content y'all make
As a fellow fat woman I completely understand that pressure to be "camera ready" and have that holding me back from my creative passions because I don't have the energy to "glam up" to super femme for videos. I definitely have a "jeans & t-shirt" style and can appreciate fashion on others but never accept it as an option for myself. I don't necessarily consider myself masc presenting because of that though, nor have I ever looked at a woman dressed similarly to me and thought of them as masc presenting. Just comfortable with zero fucks LOL. So, I mean that said, I can completely relate to 99% of what Kristen said just from the perspective, even though I've never questioned my gender and am quite happy still being a she/her. Also GIRL you still are cute as hell with your hat and jersey.
kitchen's whole speech about "some days i'll think I'm definitely a girl what are you talking about and then the next I'll for sure not be one" resonated SO MUCH. i personally identify as genderfluid and it is a struggle to not feel like i'm faking it some days when i'm more femme. proud of y'all :)
edit: me too jorn!!! i am not a girl but i am a sister
I identify as NB and I have the same problem. I have days where I'm like "I'm a woodland faerie queen!" and I'm like "am I really NB?" and then I thought about it for a while and realized that even on those days, I don't like she/her pronouns and I don't like being called a woman. But it was great to hear about other people's gender journeys, because I don't get that often and it's nice to see other people dealing with the same things I did and am.
thank you for sharing this, y’all 🥺 makes me feel seen and safe in more ways than i can express rn. beautiful to witness the journey of you both!
You two are the best, creating such a safe space for all. I love that you two have created this content for your channel, it’s inspiring. The openness that both of you are showing gives others the space to feel and be themselves, giving us a space where our voices are heard.
I'm crying with happiness right now. As someone who realized they were nonbinary over the pandemic and is slowly coming out and using they/them pronouns - this video made me feel less alone and less afraid to keep coming out and sharing who I am with the people in my life. Thanks, Kristin and Jen. 💛🤍💜🖤
I’m glad that Kristin is feeling comfortable enough to explore their gender identity/expression. As a queer woman who wears both masculine and feminine clothing I definitely have thought about my own gender identity before, what I realized is that it doesn’t matter how I dress or act, I feel like a woman and am comfortable with she/her pronouns even if I don’t always conform to stereotypical gender roles. Maybe you will discover that you are a sometimes high-femme nonbinary person or a sometimes masc woman or something else entirely, what matters is how you feel not how others see you. Best of luck to them on their journey!
So excited for you! And also love y’all’s friendship and support for each other. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us that is so personal and beautiful!
I'm a 44 year old woman and at this point in my life I don't think about my gender that often or about what category someone puts me in. When I was a preteen especially I would have taken the man card without hesitation. I was overweight, I started wearing a bra at eight years old, I had my period when I was nine, while I liked some "girly" things I was into sports, most of my friends were boys, I really thought I was SUPPOSED to be a boy. At some point I kind of just became me and was weird and unique enough that I felt it didn't matter what my gender was because I was an anomaly in many ways. I'm glad that I'm not wrestling with this issue but I do have 4 year old twin daughters, maybe someday they will be unsure and I hope I can help them through their journey the best I can.
Kristen I'm sorry you ever felt like you had to dress more feminine. I hope you feel more comfortable wearing whatever you choose to. I watch you for the content you put out not what you wear. I feel the same with whatever Jen wears. I love both of y'all and thank you both for being so open with us. I just want you both to feel comfortable in whatever skin you feel comfortable in.
“Your gender is not being able to drink water” okay rude calling me out like that but it’s fine
What I love about all 3 of you is your openness and honesty. And your sense of humor. 🥰🥰🥰
Hello from Oklahoma, I'm a bisexual grandmother of 4 and oh, by the way, I'm also ordained clergy in the Episcopal church. I know I'm late to the Kitchen and Jorn party but I love you two and Brie! Thank you for fun and giggles and also for being vulnerable and open. You help make a better world for my grandkids as they grow up.
I'm so proud of you!! This is a hard journey, but it's one that's completely yours! Don't let anyone get you down, no matter what know that you're amazing and strong!
I relate to this so hard. In that because I’m non-white, I’ve coped in society with a performative perfectionism to compensate for my non-whiteness.
I love y'all, and I'm glad you feel that your platform is safe enough for you to explore openly and update your fans so we can adjust along with you on your journey.
She/They enby here, loved this!! I feel like so many people including myself got the chance to really sit with gender identity during quarantine and I'm stoked y'all did too! I heavily relate to Kristin with the anguishing over femme presentation, like it needed to be perfect. Its been so fun to let that go and dress masc, but I'm also still a highly femme person but im having a lot more fun with it now! Before I figured it out I'd tell my partner all the time that I feel like I missed a chapter of girl school. She+ feels completely accurate for me haha. I am she/her, but its absolutely not the full story. Anyway love yall, loving seeing a new aspect of Kristin on camera and thought I'd throw my experience into the mix. I hope you feel seen and thank you for making me feel seen. 💛