I remember watching this channel after dropping my friend off at the airport as a key moment in my positive disintegration. Time to revisit because I have changed so much since then. I've been encountering more often the idea that 'nothing is ever good enough for me' but as of recently I've experienced more indications that the efforts in the vein of my perfectionism are working better than the good enough ideology.
Just found this channel, and I must say its a gem! Thank you for doing this. I can't express how much I can relate to this. I'm just chuckling at the fact at how a neurotypical would react watching your explanations in these videos :)
I find my perfectionism comes from my need for intrinsic meaningfulness. I want my life to be as meaningful as possible but this video has exposed me to the polarity within my relationship and i can now see how this is causing issues in my relationship. My partner is an external perfectionist where her environment must be full of joy, calm and contentment. This is something I enjoy periodically but I find life to be most enjoyable when there is a deep meaning, struggle or chaos to contend with. In some ways I am exposing her to the fact life is not always easy and she is exposing me to the more relaxed and calm way of life, but this exchange of energy is draining to us both. Appreciate this video.
Hi, thank you very much for your encouragement! It certainly motivates me to try and post some more. If you have any specific themes or questions or problems, of any kind, simple day-to-day, complicated philosophical, ..., let me know, it'll be good inspiration. I could make lots of videos but it's sometimes difficult to know what you as an audience need or would appreciate exactly...
Really appreciate your videos. Despite knowing there is only a very small group of people who will actually understand and appreciate your videos you still put your best effort. Somehow I've always had these thoughts but never been able to put into words like you do. Thank you for the content. Liked and subscribed. :)
One could summarize the message of the video this way: instead of letting your tendency towards perfection make you chase perfect results for your actions (external perfectionism), you should make an effort to focus it on making the voyage towards the results perfect (internal perfectionism)
I installed a belief in my mind which almost freed me from harmful aspects of my perfectionism. The belief is "Reality is exactly as I want it to be". Of course it doesn't end there, I need transcend all attachments to outcomes. There is still traces of "I'm not good enough" belief which is creating resistance there.
I think I've adopted this somewhat based on other information a.. deliberate response. I still can be a bit.. precise which can be difficult. There's some irony, as I tend to be terrible at consistent decent language. Some form of dyslexia.
I agree, there are two types of perfectionism. I'm into an external perfectionist and unfortunately, I had negative experience Thank you for making this video; you make me realize that internal perfectionism can help me!
Hey, I know you've written this roughly 2 years ago so I don't strongly expect a reply back but do you also have a fascination with child prodigy William James Sidis? I've been doing lengthy research on him and in a way look up to him. :)
1 dislike. How ironic. EDIT: I do Ninjutsu and I find my Sensei is very much an internal perfectionist. You can find examples of his techniques and principles on UA-cam by searching for Sensei James Lee.
So, while watching this, I did contemplate (ig which I do often), and I think I did recognize some, sort of pattern here. External perfectionism, seems like it would make, the visible form of your work, appear amazing. For example, let's say, a basketball player, does a flawless (though ig Idk if flawless, in a sense is possible, or what actually as a whole, implies flawless, but let's just say go with this ig) run with the ball and scores. Now, I'd like to add another concept here I think, and I believe it is called "flow". I would like to know the full psychological aspect behind it I think, however, it appears to me I guess, to be an instinctive phase, where one can do any specific task, "perfectly", without really thinking. This, I think, might be false, but, the concept of "flow", seemed really familiar to the concept of "external perfectionism" (to me I think). If I was to use your apparent example, your sensei, maybe tapped into his "flow" form, where, the moves he performs, are done without really thinking or capturing what really is happening. Idk, if that's, a somewhat correct way to put it or not, though, I think, the times I feel like I have experienced "flow", I don't think I really understand how I am doing it, sure I guess I do try to break it down to a scientific degree, but I think that takes a while, regardless of that, I am still able to perform the said tasks. And, the external perfectionism, seems like it would take time, to "master" or do consistently. As, I think, if it's your subconciousness which is mainly performing this, it might need time to, know how to exactly react, though this I think is just my hypothesis on this subject. I, myself, think am a external perfectionist, in a sense where, I love to be competitive and perfect my "craft" in almost anything. Be it, playing games, having knowledge or anything. However, I have noticed something here though, the reason I want to be "competitive" or anything like that, might be because, I like that experience of being seemingly better, or having the superior skills, or just playing or doing something on a high level. Does that correlate to internal perfectionism? As, that seems like it would, put more emphasis on the actual experience that one undergoes, hence why, I think, the external perfectionism is named "external" as that's what's essentially outputing I think, or is physically/easily visible to others. And, the internal one, implies, the experience of one, thus, how he actually feels on the inside (brain I suppose), thus maybe that, is the means to perfect how one enjoys life. So, could someone, get internal perfection, by performing external perfectionism? Like I think I said, I like to do things "perfectly" or well, which might give me the "internal perfectionism" I'm looking for. Though, I think I might be wrong about this, and I'd like to hear back from you. Thank you!
I think you're partially referring to motor memory, which is essential in things like sports or manual skills. In my experience, "perfectionism" there comes from not interfering: the body learns the "function", the "sub-algorithm", which is triggered in the right situation (if all goes well), and there it's essential to not interfere with the motor algorithm. Your conscious/rational mind is way slower and less efficient at doing this physical algorithm than the combination of your muscles and the motricity part of your brain is. A second aspect that struck me was that you mention liking to have a "superior" experience. I can relate to that, and I would describe it more in terms of being in control (which in essence serves a purpose of easing stress in me) than in terms of wanting to win. Not being in control makes me afraid (more unconsciously than consciously), which drives a part of my perfectionism. In the end, I'm pragmatic about all this. It's important to observe this all happening, and notice that a formal perfectionism can ruin your life, because it serves only itself, an abstract form which in the end is not your goal as a living being.
@@Abel.Abelson Yes, that is what I was trying to imply. The concept of flow, seems to put more emphasis, on the subconcious aspects, rather than the concious ones. Which, I thought related a bit to, the "external perfectionism". As for the second aspect you mentioned, I think, I can see why, you would be pragmatic about all this/it is natural to, and internal perfectionism, does seem to stem from that. I think, I've noticed that, I love getting compliments on my skills and being viewed as a superior, and absolutely, loathe being regarded as an inferior to someone/some people, however, the extent of how much I hate it, might depend on, who and in what subject, I am being compared to and in respectively. Though, I guess, mostly, some magnitude of hatred does still become apparent, to the said type of experiences. This, might also be why, people may say I am not humble, when I am actually describing myself. As, I feel like, I don't often, under-estimate my skills, and try to flat out, say what I think the state of my, seeming skills is, whether I think it's amazing or terrible. In hindsight, I think because of this, I have had comments on me from people, saying that I don't have any humility, though, I think I don't want to elaborate on it, that much right now. Apologies for the late reply, I've just been busy the past few days lol, and hope you're doing well.
@@intimidatedivided8769 Yes, I agree on all that. I'm also more of the kind to simply describe stuff as it is, myself included. Over time I did become a bit more "diplomatic" externally... I actually don't mind being seen as inferior when I am inferior in a certain theme (not as a "being" in general of course, but general comparisons of that kind in an absolute sense of inferior/superior are senseless anyway). I once worked for a very skilled civil engineer who was far better in that particular stuff than me, and I had no problem with him being my boss and being the "inferior" one, at all. (He was very kind and realistic and not toxic at all, and didn't overrate himself in other aspects of life either, so that helped). But I do loathe having a "boss" that's not at least equally good or better than me at the task at hand. Not as much for the hierarchy of it, but because it's really frustrating to have to work within a framework of bad decisions and lack of understanding...
@@Abel.Abelson That sounds exactly like me! I think, I don't mind as much when, I am viewed as an inferior to someone, while I myself, don't think I am that good in the subject I was compared in. However, if I feel like, I am good at something, and I might be better at one specific thing than someone else, I think I would hate it a lot, if said individual is viewed as a superior to me, in regards to that certain field. For example: In school, I, seem to be, the 4th best student in my class. When the apparent, best one in our class (1st best), is actually seen as intellectually superior than, me, I absolutely detest it. However, when, he is called a better student than me, I am more fine with that comment, and might even say I "agree" with it. As, I think in school, I am not really as regular with my studies as, that student might be. And, I usually just study for tests/exams, in the last minute. But, maybe just our academic results, might not be sufficient enough, to judge our raw intelligence, other than that, I think I also have figured out complexed processes and solutions to many things, or might be pretty smart. Thus why I think I hate it, when he is called "intellectually superior" than me, be it directly or indirectly (i.e the comment may imply he is, "intellectually superior" than me indirectly, I think I'd still hate it). But, I think I do believe, he is a better student than me, as I think, the time you put into your studies, your results and your sincerity towards academy, all are influencial factors, when you are being judged as a student. And, I am apparently, not as sincere as he is, therefore, I don't think I am a superior student than him, and am relatively fine with any comment, proclaiming that.
![The 3 root causes of your unhappiness [Gifted/Asperger/ASD and other neurodivergents]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SppKjzxgStI/mqdefault.jpg)
![My personal journey as a successful underachiever (+ how I started achieving)[Intellectually gifted]](/img/n.gif)
I'm glad that you are now able to be a healthy perfectionist. You speak wise words.
Thanks Joseph!
I remember watching this channel after dropping my friend off at the airport as a key moment in my positive disintegration. Time to revisit because I have changed so much since then.
I've been encountering more often the idea that 'nothing is ever good enough for me' but as of recently I've experienced more indications that the efforts in the vein of my perfectionism are working better than the good enough ideology.
Just found this channel, and I must say its a gem! Thank you for doing this. I can't express how much I can relate to this.
I'm just chuckling at the fact at how a neurotypical would react watching your explanations in these videos :)
I find my perfectionism comes from my need for intrinsic meaningfulness. I want my life to be as meaningful as possible but this video has exposed me to the polarity within my relationship and i can now see how this is causing issues in my relationship. My partner is an external perfectionist where her environment must be full of joy, calm and contentment. This is something I enjoy periodically but I find life to be most enjoyable when there is a deep meaning, struggle or chaos to contend with. In some ways I am exposing her to the fact life is not always easy and she is exposing me to the more relaxed and calm way of life, but this exchange of energy is draining to us both. Appreciate this video.
Please post more often if you can, Im enjoying these videos. Very relatable.
Hi, thank you very much for your encouragement! It certainly motivates me to try and post some more.
If you have any specific themes or questions or problems, of any kind, simple day-to-day, complicated philosophical, ..., let me know, it'll be good inspiration. I could make lots of videos but it's sometimes difficult to know what you as an audience need or would appreciate exactly...
Really appreciate your videos. Despite knowing there is only a very small group of people who will actually understand and appreciate your videos you still put your best effort. Somehow I've always had these thoughts but never been able to put into words like you do. Thank you for the content. Liked and subscribed. :)
One could summarize the message of the video this way: instead of letting your tendency towards perfection make you chase perfect results for your actions (external perfectionism), you should make an effort to focus it on making the voyage towards the results perfect (internal perfectionism)
You have no idea how I recognize myself in your words! Thank you for existing.
You're very welcome :) Thanks for letting me know :)
I installed a belief in my mind which almost freed me from harmful aspects of my perfectionism. The belief is "Reality is exactly as I want it to be". Of course it doesn't end there, I need transcend all attachments to outcomes. There is still traces of "I'm not good enough" belief which is creating resistance there.
I think I've adopted this somewhat based on other information a.. deliberate response. I still can be a bit.. precise which can be difficult. There's some irony, as I tend to be terrible at consistent decent language. Some form of dyslexia.
so maximize your happiness instead of maximize the perfection of the martial arts move
I agree, there are two types of perfectionism. I'm into an external perfectionist and unfortunately, I had negative experience Thank you for making this video; you make me realize that internal perfectionism can help me!
You're welcome :) And thank you for watching!
Hey, I know you've written this roughly 2 years ago so I don't strongly expect a reply back but do you also have a fascination with child prodigy William James Sidis? I've been doing lengthy research on him and in a way look up to him. :)
Fantastic!
The Equilibrium. Yin and Yang in harmony.
As a 15 year old internal perfectionist, I am constantly struggling especially when I get to procrastinate.
1 dislike. How ironic.
EDIT: I do Ninjutsu and I find my Sensei is very much an internal perfectionist. You can find examples of his techniques and principles on UA-cam by searching for Sensei James Lee.
The problem with perfect is that it could always be better.
So, while watching this, I did contemplate (ig which I do often), and I think I did recognize some, sort of pattern here.
External perfectionism, seems like it would make, the visible form of your work, appear amazing. For example, let's say, a basketball player, does a flawless (though ig Idk if flawless, in a sense is possible, or what actually as a whole, implies flawless, but let's just say go with this ig) run with the ball and scores. Now, I'd like to add another concept here I think, and I believe it is called "flow". I would like to know the full psychological aspect behind it I think, however, it appears to me I guess, to be an instinctive phase, where one can do any specific task, "perfectly", without really thinking. This, I think, might be false, but, the concept of "flow", seemed really familiar to the concept of "external perfectionism" (to me I think).
If I was to use your apparent example, your sensei, maybe tapped into his "flow" form, where, the moves he performs, are done without really thinking or capturing what really is happening. Idk, if that's, a somewhat correct way to put it or not, though, I think, the times I feel like I have experienced "flow", I don't think I really understand how I am doing it, sure I guess I do try to break it down to a scientific degree, but I think that takes a while, regardless of that, I am still able to perform the said tasks. And, the external perfectionism, seems like it would take time, to "master" or do consistently. As, I think, if it's your subconciousness which is mainly performing this, it might need time to, know how to exactly react, though this I think is just my hypothesis on this subject.
I, myself, think am a external perfectionist, in a sense where, I love to be competitive and perfect my "craft" in almost anything. Be it, playing games, having knowledge or anything. However, I have noticed something here though, the reason I want to be "competitive" or anything like that, might be because, I like that experience of being seemingly better, or having the superior skills, or just playing or doing something on a high level. Does that correlate to internal perfectionism? As, that seems like it would, put more emphasis on the actual experience that one undergoes, hence why, I think, the external perfectionism is named "external" as that's what's essentially outputing I think, or is physically/easily visible to others. And, the internal one, implies, the experience of one, thus, how he actually feels on the inside (brain I suppose), thus maybe that, is the means to perfect how one enjoys life.
So, could someone, get internal perfection, by performing external perfectionism? Like I think I said, I like to do things "perfectly" or well, which might give me the "internal perfectionism" I'm looking for.
Though, I think I might be wrong about this, and I'd like to hear back from you. Thank you!
I think you're partially referring to motor memory, which is essential in things like sports or manual skills. In my experience, "perfectionism" there comes from not interfering: the body learns the "function", the "sub-algorithm", which is triggered in the right situation (if all goes well), and there it's essential to not interfere with the motor algorithm. Your conscious/rational mind is way slower and less efficient at doing this physical algorithm than the combination of your muscles and the motricity part of your brain is.
A second aspect that struck me was that you mention liking to have a "superior" experience. I can relate to that, and I would describe it more in terms of being in control (which in essence serves a purpose of easing stress in me) than in terms of wanting to win. Not being in control makes me afraid (more unconsciously than consciously), which drives a part of my perfectionism.
In the end, I'm pragmatic about all this. It's important to observe this all happening, and notice that a formal perfectionism can ruin your life, because it serves only itself, an abstract form which in the end is not your goal as a living being.
@@Abel.Abelson Yes, that is what I was trying to imply. The concept of flow, seems to put more emphasis, on the subconcious aspects, rather than the concious ones. Which, I thought related a bit to, the "external perfectionism".
As for the second aspect you mentioned, I think, I can see why, you would be pragmatic about all this/it is natural to, and internal perfectionism, does seem to stem from that. I think, I've noticed that, I love getting compliments on my skills and being viewed as a superior, and absolutely, loathe being regarded as an inferior to someone/some people, however, the extent of how much I hate it, might depend on, who and in what subject, I am being compared to and in respectively. Though, I guess, mostly, some magnitude of hatred does still become apparent, to the said type of experiences.
This, might also be why, people may say I am not humble, when I am actually describing myself. As, I feel like, I don't often, under-estimate my skills, and try to flat out, say what I think the state of my, seeming skills is, whether I think it's amazing or terrible. In hindsight, I think because of this, I have had comments on me from people, saying that I don't have any humility, though, I think I don't want to elaborate on it, that much right now.
Apologies for the late reply, I've just been busy the past few days lol, and hope you're doing well.
@@intimidatedivided8769 Yes, I agree on all that. I'm also more of the kind to simply describe stuff as it is, myself included. Over time I did become a bit more "diplomatic" externally...
I actually don't mind being seen as inferior when I am inferior in a certain theme (not as a "being" in general of course, but general comparisons of that kind in an absolute sense of inferior/superior are senseless anyway). I once worked for a very skilled civil engineer who was far better in that particular stuff than me, and I had no problem with him being my boss and being the "inferior" one, at all. (He was very kind and realistic and not toxic at all, and didn't overrate himself in other aspects of life either, so that helped). But I do loathe having a "boss" that's not at least equally good or better than me at the task at hand. Not as much for the hierarchy of it, but because it's really frustrating to have to work within a framework of bad decisions and lack of understanding...
@@Abel.Abelson That sounds exactly like me! I think, I don't mind as much when, I am viewed as an inferior to someone, while I myself, don't think I am that good in the subject I was compared in. However, if I feel like, I am good at something, and I might be better at one specific thing than someone else, I think I would hate it a lot, if said individual is viewed as a superior to me, in regards to that certain field.
For example: In school, I, seem to be, the 4th best student in my class. When the apparent, best one in our class (1st best), is actually seen as intellectually superior than, me, I absolutely detest it. However, when, he is called a better student than me, I am more fine with that comment, and might even say I "agree" with it.
As, I think in school, I am not really as regular with my studies as, that student might be. And, I usually just study for tests/exams, in the last minute. But, maybe just our academic results, might not be sufficient enough, to judge our raw intelligence, other than that, I think I also have figured out complexed processes and solutions to many things, or might be pretty smart. Thus why I think I hate it, when he is called "intellectually superior" than me, be it directly or indirectly (i.e the comment may imply he is, "intellectually superior" than me indirectly, I think I'd still hate it). But, I think I do believe, he is a better student than me, as I think, the time you put into your studies, your results and your sincerity towards academy, all are influencial factors, when you are being judged as a student. And, I am apparently, not as sincere as he is, therefore, I don't think I am a superior student than him, and am relatively fine with any comment, proclaiming that.
Kairosclerosis.
has anyone else noticed that all high iq people have wider eye sockets and larger eyebrow bones?