Unsatisfying Offerings
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- Their lovely goat(?) god has unfortunately grown tired of his offerings consisting mainly of bones and such. Couldn't they bring some nice flowers or a blanket perhaps?
Remember to diversify your offerings, followers!
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You ask for blood once and all of a sudden youre the blood god and its all blood for the blood god and you begin to wonder if your worshippers even know who you really are or if youre just some one note deity in their eyes.....
i am pretty sure khorne loves blood and skulls more than this guy he's pretty shallow with his needs
@sliceypotatod9601 "pretty sure" You could try asking
@@nonome8206 Maybe this is why he's so violent, he lashes out because maybe no one truly understands him.
@@nonome8206 You want me to speak directly to khorne NAHHHHH , I am rooting for you to do it 🙏
Some potatoes would be nice once in a while
“Sure, all the skulls were great when I was building my skull throne, but now that it’s done? What do you expect me to do with all these extra skulls?”
Combat servo-skulls, ofc
"Skull Table sir."
bigger throne
skull-cup cup holder
A skull shaped castle made of skulls that weeps lava from its eyes
I hate getting bones for Christmas, my letter to Santa clearly had a number of a lego set and socks.
if your smart enough the bones can be the lego set
I think you sent him somebody's IP
@@lucascage64jm81 I suppose so, but it's hard to make bone minifigures.
I'm apparently too clueless of the situation to understand the joke; I've sat here for a good 5 minutes trying to figure it out with no luck.
@@veroxid he wanted Legos and socks, but all he got was bones, he can assemble what we wants with the bones thus mimicking Legos
You know your finally grown up when you genuinely enjoy getting socks for Christmas.
Especially warm ones with something you like printed on them.
I remember the year I unironically asked for socks for Christmas and realized “oh god, I’m an adult.”
Those things vanish all the time. New socks are great. It means I don’t need to go out and buy them myself
Socks and underwear. I remember I got a bulk pack of new boxer-briefs and was way happier than I ever thought I would be about it.
It’s because your old ones are getting worn out and you have to buy your own clothes now.
The collective gasp sent me😂
He LOVES bones....
Ok tell us when you get back
To where did it send you?
It's unfortunately a one-way trip, he ain't coming back.
Next day they bring him like 10 grandmas from local villages and they all sit down to knit him socks and blankets
Some bake cookies. They all coo over what a big strong boy he is.
"It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life."
- JRR Tolkien
If there isn't one yet, I need a sequel or two where the guy's subjects bring him more mundane, yet heartfelt and practical items.
GIVE. THE MAN. HIS SOCKS!
It's like from "The Tick" with the villian "The Deadly Bulb". He has a collection of ceramic pigs and he says "First was a gift and I didn't want to be rude but then that's all I got and just didn't want anyone to feel bad."
My mans just wants a studio apartment and a nice civic to get around town in 😅
He doesn't ask for much, and yet...
Funny Enough, In a roleplay server Im In, there's this sort of magic system where you can give offerings to Gods from another realm like blood sacrifices or some shit to borrow their magic But there is one God who doesn't want your proof of dedication or whatever, and just wants money, since he wants something that can actually benefit him. you need to use coins and stuff to cast his spells.
He does this because he still exists in the real world, and he's actually pretty rich because of this.
they then proceed to give him hundreds of flowers, warm blankets, and pairs of socks
I know what he needs: a real friend who listens to him.
You heard him guys. Time to steal the socks of every local village we can find!
We need a part 2 where he gets too many flowers, socks, and blankets.
Even Eldritch Horrors Beyond Comprehension may crave the simple comforts once in a while. A nice cupcake. Toasty warm slipper socks. A cheerful bouquet of flowers. Every relationship, even the patronage of a dark being from the beyond, benefits from showing you care.
I find this video deeply relatable, as I commonly get offerings around the holidays of bones and other ritual stuff, and I JUST WANTED A BLANKET JARED!!!!
And that’s how he went from bone throne to cozy cabin owned by a grandma
_But you LOVE bones! :c_
he ALWAYS loved them ;-;
becoming a deity by saying "oh my god I "
He’s a simple man
Don’t compare my god to a mere man, heathen! Next time we’ll have your tongue as offering 😤
Hopefully now they'll communicate their wishes better :)
I wish I wanted something/anything
I wanna hug him and bring him flowers... And kiss him and give him a big blanket!... And maybe sleep together under that blanket-
You want to have sex with the guy? XD
This sounds like my cat, “stop bring me fish” but you love fish, “I loved it yesterday”
"I just want a hug and someone to tell me Its going to be fine"
Poor baby! 😭, He's just a little guy! 🥺😢🐗
The way he says "I think they're okay!" send me
"I just want some Pants. A Decent Pair of PANTS!" - . . .
Solomon Grundy want pants too!
this is why good communication with your followers is important
I'd love to see him later, all happy and content, dressed in a comfy sweater, nice socks, wrapped in a blanket, sipping some hot cocoa or tea with some pretty flower pots surrounding him.
Nooo!😭He's so cute! I want to give him a hug! 🥺 I want him as my Warlock Patron and I want to give him gifts🐗
This is why you always ask if there's anything the person wants before just getting them a present they may or may not like.
His followers are so cute, wearing candles on their heads to mimic the fire that floats above their deity's head 😂
“I said I liked them once” my involuntary knife collection and I feel that
It’s like on how you’d really like this meal but when your family notice this and make you eat this same meal almost everyday you ended up loosing appetite of it
Literally my grandma with turtles. She has demanded we stop getting her turtle stuff. She doesn’t even like turtles that much but her entire garden is filled with turtle statues, her front porch covered in turtle ceramics, every shelf in every corner of her house with turtle trinkets, turtle wall art, I’m sure there’s stuffed turtles or turtle clothing/blankets somewhere in her house as well. She hasn’t bought a single one herself.
this reminds me of an aboleth i made named "Ananaktu" hes an aboleth with the mind of a normal guy who simply got turned into one through a magical mishap where he mixed up who was the sacrifice and who was the one getting turned into an aboleth, so his followers just drop him food once and a while and he grants them some powers
And then you have volibear in legends of runeterra.
Valhir's Prophet: "They offer tooth, bone, and entrail but never flowers"
Volibear: "Good. They are less satisfying for my fangs"
“I think they’re ok” man sounded like moist critical for a second
Poor guy, im gonna make him a bone sweater
They made a socking discovery :)
Can’t wait for more hilarious content!
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
'I actually want something like a nice cheese platter , really.'
My goodness that is so flipping sweat and adorable.
Warm socks for the warm socks god!!!
It's like when you tell your dad you like a certain fruit and the next day he brings a whole truckload of said fruit.
Well, given that they worship this boar-lord, I want to see a sequel where they bring man-sized, fluffy socks and blankets the size of a barn for him. He slides his hooves into them and just grins, showing his three internal rows of teeth.
In the @_pocketss Twittex of the comic, someone submitted art of a follower knitting a big swine-themed sock for the boar lord. Not quite a comic, but it was still sweet!
This is your friendly reminder to take care of your patron.
"Dark master, we bring you an offering!"
"Oh, uh, that's nice." _Takes still-beating human heart._ "I'll just... put it with the others then."
excuse me while i calculate the pattern for a pair of socks for hoofies.
"He wants something nice?"
"Alright lets kidnap children and fine maides, thats _nice_ and pretty right?"
"OH my *ME!* "
I’d get him the floofiest blanket 🥺💕
*Relatable* , just because someone said they Liked it Once doesn't mean they love it.
I like this. Thank you
Glad you like it!
They are just like cats and crows, bringing in weird things for you
This is what it feels like when your mom or dad buys you a gift because you liked one thing at 8
All a ploy to get the go ahead on giving grandad socks.
He literally just said: Yh guys I'm like an evil god or whatever but I'd like flowers or something nice for once
"Some communication about what you want would be appreciated. We're cultists, not psychics."
The boar-lord needs to remember that communication is important when you are a leader. The reason they gave him bones is because he said he kind of liked them. He could have asked for blankets, socks, and anything else, and his followers would have gotten him for them immediately.
The obvious answer response is "Why didn't you just tell us?". They'd have gotten him anything he wanted!
GIVE THE BOI SOME HEAD PATS
EXACTLY
Best I can do is heavy bone armor that can, somehow, deflect a cannonball shot...
I thought he was sitting on gold... those are bones... everywhere.
Its a boar or warthog p sure
I once got two pair of socks at christmas from a relative.
These "many mornings" socks.
(If you dont know them, they are awesome; so many cool motives!)
One of them with Flamingos, one with bees.
I told them that i really liked them and that i can replace my boring black socks with them.
What did i get next christmas?
Socks.
Only Socks.
16 pairs.
But not from many mornings or ones with cool motives.
Christmas socks.
16 pairs of christmas socks.
Half of them ugly.
Almost all of them warm.
With every package i opend, i grew more disapointed.
(I didnt buy any socks this year cause i knew i would get sone at christmas.)
When i had unpacked all, i asked my family, why they bought me them.
This is how my Father answered:
F: "you wanted socks"
Me: "i wanted normal ones, not christmas socks."
F: "why does it matter?"
Me: "i can only wear them around christmas. I wanted socks to wear all year."
F: "you can wear them all year."
Me: "Ignoring that i dont want to wear christmas socks if its not christmas, they are warm socks. I wont wear them if its not cold."
(Our winters are pretty mild, the coldest was like three weeks somewere in jannuary or february and the coldest it got in these weeks was -16°C on one day.)
"Also they are ugly."
F: "What about them is ugly?"
Me "Here for example we have red snow. Here is santa with a eed glowing nose like he is Rudolph. Here is red sky with the green silhuette of a house and ether green snow or snowless lawn, ect. Ect..."
And then he called me ungreateful and why i cant be happy about these presents.
Thats by the way the same guy who claims he knows me better than i know myself.
So in early spring i went to a cloth store and found alot of socks in pastell colors and spring colors and bought like twelve pairs. I wore them ever since.
They are great!
SOMEONE MISSED THE OPPORTUNITY TO DRAW MY BOY WITH HIS BLANKY, AND SOCKS AND HOT CHOCKY 😢😢😢
I SHALL KNIT YOU THE WARMEST SOCKS MY LORD
He kinda sounds like laios makes this even more hilarious to me
I mean... i would 100000% gift my boar diety of bones and flesh some blankets.
When you tell grandma you like something
Bra just wants some cuddles
Lmao
I had something similar happen I was a teenager and saw this beautiful quilt with a deer on it and asked for it for as a Christmas gift. But after that other people saw the deer blanket and was like “I know what to get her”, and they would buy me Walmart blankets with deer on them, I think I had like 5 at one point. I didn’t want to be rude but it was getting out of hand.
For the record, he seems to be a _boar,_ not a goat. Piggy snout, tusks, no horns. Definitely giving boar. His little followers are dressed as boars, too!
Time to sacrifice old god to a new more powerful diety 🧙♂️
😢
I want to bring him some bread and cookies, bread and butter with cookies and milk. y e s
*gives him the sandwich i was gonna eat for lunch* It ain't much but its tasty!
D&D fuel right there ...
A hug, perchance?
Aw poor guy
when the followers are more insane and evil then the actual god they follow
Honestely great point, if i had a group of people worshiping me, i would be know has the god/lord of sushi.
His poor hooves :(
He should hmu, I have a surplus of socks and a deficit in bones.
I love bones
Get him a cheeseburger.
Tony loved cheeseburgers...
I mean, then why didn't he ask for those sooner? He is like, their worshipper's entity. He could ask them to bring them something more than just, snakes, flesh and bones.
Now I'm imagining a small girl who just woke up, wandering around in her PJ's and a blanket.
Stumbling onto the summoning circle, ends up accidentally summoning this powerful and unholy creature (or another demon/dark god).
....
*"WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME, 'insert title', MORTAL!?"*
_"My name is Susanna, but eweyone calls me Susy. You look cold. Do you want my bwanket? It's weally cosy."_
(gives the blanket that is way too small for the summoned being.)
....
....
(In a less booming voice...)
*"From this day on you shall be my priestess and loyal follower. You may call on my to ask for a boon and I will judge if I will aid you. Bring more **_'cosy'_** gifts."*
_"Does that mwen we are fwiends now?"_
*".... yes?"*
_"YAY!"_
(Proceeds to glomp the being.)
*"This pleases me. I'll allow it."*
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Apperantly she was actually meant as a sacrifice from one of it's followers, but ended up here before the ritual.
gimme more i want more
this could be a anime! oh wait...
too relatable. gonna have to ask that you dial down the relatability a bit. ;-;
I want to be his friend.
not related to the video, but your voice somewhat reminds me of the english dub of laios from dungeon meshi :)
Fine I guess. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Bro is a bottom 😳
would
Is that Boarhomet?
Shrubbery
😅