One time he told me I made him feel safe and I am “everything” he wanted and he abused me in every way. Never did anything for me but did for everyone else. It messes with your mind so much. I told him that he sabotages every relationship. Breaking things off with him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I had no choice. His cheating and lying was starting to affect my career and everything in my life. I cried every day.
❤ same here! Then he realized why I didn’t respect him after lying cheating gambling and destroying everything we had, family, marriage and child! They are sick in the head!
@@Gilbert_Dice_Gottfried Good one 😆 Since most narcissists don't understand what real, true love is, they can't possibly be the love of their own lives because they don't love themselves!
Absolutely got conditioned that the bare minimum was OK. He came around with love and sweet talk when he was in the mood, but basically avoided interaction most of the rest of the time. He watched TV all day. We lived in the same house, but hung out in separate rooms. He did almost nothing around the house. Since it was my house, it was all on me, including the bills. After so many years, I thought I was fine with it. After all, no one in my face all the time. It meant I got to do what ever I wanted to. I felt uncomfortable inviting anyone over though, because he didn’t like interacting with people much. He said I was the love of his life and I knew he was there, so I felt secure, or at least I thought I was. Ultimately I began to realize how lonely I had become. It wasn’t enough. It took me so long to see that I deserved better.
@@tamra8485 same!! I feel so stupid. After 20, years of marriage I realize I deserve better! I'm ashamed that it took me so long to realize I was married to a Narc.
Im not sure he was a narssist through what you described in my relationship I did everything work 12 to 14 hours an i would come home an do more work around the house like washing dishes etc but I'm still constantly told I don't do enough that she does way more an when it comes to her kids she tells me I do nothing an all my money an I mean all of it goes to the bills an whatever left she will find out what we need to pay for im constantly never get told thank you or appreciated yet she can say the best things to anyone else like everyone else is the best an im the worst I think your ex sounds like he was a slaker rather then a narssist an yeah I was called soul mate all these beautiful things before we got married once married all I jear now is how much I'm not meeting her standards an she can break up with me an go on holidays so this time I'm not going to take her back she can enjoy her life an I feel so light now the house feels so light so much cleaner everything I miss the sex an I did really love her but the more these things happen my love has drifted in only three years I beleave in one person marriages but she also A flirt an makes me feel unattractive by her actions even though I also get alot of attraction from opisite sex I just don't flirt or give them the idea that I'm avaliable sucks really
Real love requires vulnerability, honesty, accountability, consideration, and reciprocity, all things narcissist are incapable of doing. When their victims accept that, they'll be able to cut of the narcissist forever.
He told me told that everyone he has ever loved in his life *IS* the love of his life, and can’t wrap his head around monogamy. He said this upon being confronted about reaching out to his exes, holding onto photos (including a secret stash of nudes/half-nudes), and unsent love letters and poems to them. He told me I was the narcissist for expecting exclusive loyalty from him and that he’s tired of me putting myself at #1…. UHHHH, YEAH, YOU *MARRIED* ME?!?!?!?
I told him he doesn't even like me and he said that doesn't make sense why would we be together, i said that's a thing, you don't even like me that's why you complain about everything and everything is about you you don't love me you love the empath in me the fact that you know I would love you even if you don't deserve it, when you are not willing to do that for anyone in return.
Yup, I was the love of my narcissist’s life. He told me daily how much he loved me. But I never felt cared for. Everything was about him. I finally had to tell him. Got gaslit big time and eventually discarded.
I think the context Lee is talking about here, 'the love of their life' is really the initial infatuation stage , where for that short time they truly thought they were in love with you, or the person they perceived you to be, or the fantasy, the ideal, but not truly you. Narcissist are not capable of truly loving another person, full stop. They never loved you, the sooner you come to terms with that the better. No one is the love of their lives, they don't pine for you or are willing to do anything to make it work with you. Their initial love is out of a Mills and Boon romance novel, where they pretend to be the dashing prince, which they can't sustain, because it's not who they really are and when they realise you are not this perfect damsel in distress willing to dote on them, they will move on in search of the next exciting adventure.
My narcissist and I would get into what he would call "fallouts" because I would hold him accountable for the way he and his family were treating me. He would get so angry that I demanded respect and apologies that he would leave frequently and then come back. He would withhold hugs, kisses, sex for months at a time and if I asked for affection he would accuse me of pressuring him and sometimes accuse me of making him feel molested. That was the last straw for me to ever ask for physical affection again.
@@joydiaz8967 the same here. Exhausting... Would become angry, accusing me of everything,withholding any affection or even simple communication for months. Not helping with daily simple responsibilities etc. So many things... its like walking on eggshells . But completely opposite to the outside world.
Anyone they can manipulate is the love of their life. One thing I noticed about narcissists is they are never single, they always move to one person or the other. 😂 I do know he'll be feeling my absence though.
I am enjoying this video & would absolutely love to hear more about how narcissists apologize. I’m going through a divorce while still under the same roof & am dealing with a lot of apologies & hoovering.
NOPE!!! He told me years after we had been married after a church service where we talked about love, that he's never been in love with me. I was crushed, and he's lived up to those words ever since. Lying and cheating. Now he's found the one he's willing to love, honor, protect, and commit to. Good for her, cause it wasn't me. What a waste of time.
@@mamasaid3 Oh honey I’ve been there and I promise you he did not do any such thing. I don’t care what he tells you, what she tells you, what it looks like on the outside or on social media, he will not treat her any better. I promise you because it wasn’t about you and it’s not about her it’s him. He will treat her the way he treats other human beings.
@CF-tp6sb Thank you for sharing that. It doesn't seem that way so far. They've been on more vacations in a year than I have in a lifetime. He has a credit card with her. He told her where my children and I live, and he took out another mortgage on the house we share to pay off all of his and her credit card bills while he pocketed the rest. I have yet to receive a penny from him. The list goes on and on. So, the only way I can sum it all up is that He Never loved me! I just wish I had seen it and accepted it before now.
@@mamasaid3 CFtp6sb is correct, he doesn't love, honor, protect, or commit to her any more than he did to you: she's just his shiny new supply at this time. The shine wears off, it always does. But of course they will both want to present an image of perfect relationship and especially to you. He is trying his darndest to rub it all in your face and show you he "won". Don't believe it, and feel sorry for his current supply because she is simply his next victim.
@drea4195 Thank you. They've been cheating together for five years, though. It started when I had myast baby, while I was pregnant with him, and I didn't see it. And to this day, he's even more attached to her as before and does everything for and with her. So, not that I don't believe you, I just don't see it yet. So, I'm trying to just focus on my children. But, I appreciate your words. I feel better about myself just from reading them.
Lee, first off... Thank you for your very informative videos. I've already watched dozens of them. In this video you stress the fact that we shouldn't settle for less. So true. But here's something you might want to talk about in one of your next videos. As a woman, when you grow up with a narcissistic father, you grow up being mentally and emotionally abused, belittled et cetera on a daily basis. In my case this resulted in multiple relationships with.. you guessed it, narcissists. I simply didn't REALLY register that I was treated badly. Women like me seem to be sitting ducks for narcissists and don't possess the ability to set healthy boundaries. If there's anything you'd like to say about this, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much for your time.
We were driving somewhere, discussing something and he said "Kathy was the love of my life" - I told him he should go find her then and He told me she was married with kids now... Couple days later he told me his daughter and I are the loves of his life 🤦♀️ 💞😵💫💞 He honestly had no concept of unconditional true love. And yes, he treated me like shit!! Swear on Lee!!! Love it!!! 💯👍💖
You are a brilliant teacher, Lee. Not only are you great at getting the information across in a way that makes sense but you're also naturally funny and entertaining too. For me, you provide one of the best channels on this whole topic and I've seen a lot of channels on narcissism. Keep doing what you're doing, Lee. You're amazing!
You're just flippin' awesome! I loooooove your videos! Been able to heal. Was able to now cut him off on all channels. Thanks a trillion times, from the bottom of my heart! MWAH on your handsome face! ❤❤❤
The narc said I was the love of their life. The narc said they waited for me their whole life. The narc said they have never been more ready to move in and have a family with someone. It was all a lie.
Are they treating you like you are the love of their life? A lot of times empaths don’t know what it feels like to be treated with unconditional love. My Mother withheld love all the time. If it wasn’t something she wanted to hear i.e. my chemistry classes, she had no interest but if I called her about friend drama, she was all ears and would stir the pot. I essentially married my Mom, the way he treated me was the love I encountered as a child and truly believed that was what I deserved. It wasn’t until I was ok being alone with my kids and God that I met my current partner. It’s been a year and I still get surprised when there is no retaliation for saying no or he calls to see if I made it to work safely without ulterior motives. This love feels more foreign and unnatural than the abusive love however my mind is clear and I am at peace with no unnecessary drama. The healing process is not linear and takes years but you will always have the wounds from the abuse.
I just discoverd you and you are appriciated for shearing your knowledge and wisdom. And I love your vibe. Bless you and you are doing amazing on your healing journey ❤
I took care of my wife for 22 years she left me for another man so you know what I did I left town because she's a mental case ,It hurts but real men know how to be strong.I have nothing to lose ,she's the one who lose a chosen one
Lee, I have learned so much from ur platform teaching us about interactions with narcissists. I had no idea that I was dealing with a narcissist until I ran across ur videos a couple of years ago. My toxic ex bf, a covert narcissist, had me fooled from the day we met! He discarded me over the years like nothing. We would reconnect and he would show me the person I wanted to see , the kind, loving, complimentary, spiritual, deep thinker, empathetic, humouros, charismatic, and good-natured side. Then I would say something in a text that he didn"t like or pose a question which he didn"t want to answer, or for whatever reason, (I have learned that they are great at not answering questions, never really being honest, and using the tactic of gaslighting!!!). I finally realized that over 40 years, he was truly everything I didn"t deserve in a man! I have not seen him in 30 years, and he kept me hanging around just in case! I asked him did he miss me and was that the reason he was texting me. He responding with "I really enjoy our friendship but often fimes our conversation goes sideways, and I don't know why so I have to be careful what I say." That was the last time he attempted his gaslighting with me. I told him it was best I have no contact with him. He didn't see that coming! Prior to this, I blocked him on Facebook after he messaged me. I asked why won't u let me go. He didn't respond at all. I immediately blocked him on Facebook. It was months later that he 1st texted asking if we could be "friends". He is still pondering that question & concept! He has contacted me sending songs, videos of women that look like me! Lol 🤣 I have not and will not respond to him. I know he wants to know if someone else has taken my heart. I keep getting fake friend requests and strange calls. NOTHING he can do or say to get me caught up in his toxicity. I will remain the one that got away!!! I know my worth, and my only regret is that I didn"t "see" him sooner. He let his mask slip so many times. I sometimes reflect on our relationship over 4 decades and can now understand what was happening to me. Thank you for doing what you do to make people aware and able to release themselves from the bondage of darkness narcissistic people are. I feel very grateful that though it is late in life, I settle no more! He needed me way more than I ever needed him. He misses the positive energy and vibe I gave. He knew that ai was still in love with him. No doubt! He should have known that one day I would wake up from that nightmare rollacoaster with him and really reclaim my life minus him! He always said that was like no one else and very smart! Both true statements! I thank God for education and discernment. My peace and joy trumps everything! God's continued blessings in 2025! ❤
I have an interesting experience. After 3 years, my narc discarded me by meeting someone on a dating app and moving out within a month. That fizzled out quickly. They hoovered me for years in between other love interest. They did all the behaviors you talk about on this channel. At some point they were able to friend-zone me and we became friends. I allowed this. After about 3 years, I met someone and started dating. After 3 weeks of me seeing the person, the narc hit the fan. Threw the biggest temper tantrum ever. Wrote me a 6 page letter about how they thought we would always end up together even though they had not shown me romantic interest in 3 years. All that drama and they were with someone new within a month. When I asked if they meant that letter, they essentially downplayed it. So I continued dating the new person. We ended on good terms and I started focusing on myself. The narc has started hoovering me again and was shocked that I could be alone and be fine. For a long time I just thought they were a jerk but they are definitely on the narcissism spectrum.
She told me I was the love of her life after she left me for her new supply back in September. Yet she was devaluing me behind my back then went on a massive smear campaign that is still going on. She blocked me on everything and has been a cold hearted and I mean cold cold hearted during our divorce. How in the name of God is that love?
Raw Lee. I'm gonna get to work on the theme song. I've been writing a short verse for people who are survivors/ don't know yet. Keep rocking the truth sir!!❤
Personal question Lee. Do you go out of your way to make sure you show your wife she if the love of your life? Does she have to settle? Are there compromises?
@@alisachaise3 It’s the best help I’ve ever received for narcissistic abuse for real. This channel can give you what no other can he’s just really gifted and knows the full score. 🙌
I defintely wasn't. I got devalued right from the start. Our second date was in his car, him pulling out the thing suddenly, I asked for a kiss and he just said no and said to get on the knees. We barely knew eachother by then. Later on we had love at first fight, he saw that I had huge reactions and he actually started to lovebomb me LATER ON in the dynamic. It was so intense that we had a lot of fights, because I was toxic too. He would call me 30 times, I would call him 30 times back to back. He would smear me for years and called me the most bad names and also showed it to me. I do wonder in this kind of dynamic if he now forgot about me or not, since it's not really a regular dynamic.
It's how they create cognitive dissonance. Like what happens in addictive process too like how can feeling "normal" be so off center that you have to be on drugs that ruin your life in every way and ultimately take it? Gaslighting you to think you have too high of standards if you complain is part of the "breadcrumbs to bread" mindfuck too. Like it's too much for you to expect a kiss or a text back or any moral support whatsoever. The hardest part of healing is realizing how much of yourself and your youth you lost and feeling so damn dumb for just giving it away! The worst thing you'll regret is not going No Contact SOONER.
I didn't watch this whole video. I don't want to "downgrade" because it would be impossible for me to be in an intimate relationship with someone I'm not as physically attracted to as him.
Personal question Lee. Do you go out of your way to make sure you show your wife she if the love of your life? Does she have to settle? Are there compromises?
I put a comment on your wife's live that I do not understand why anyone would stay when someone cheats with no regard. I hope she didn't take that as a negative comment towards her. I was just responding to a comment in the chat and I felt bad last night that she might have taken it as a comment toward her. You have both helped a lot of people and I would not be nasty to either of you!
Nex of 23 years said I was, "the girl he had seen in his dreams since he was 15".... that's funny because a girl he met while we were still married and barely knew for two weeks was, "his soulmate". He told everyone they were some dumb BS thing. 🤮
Can you talk upon how to handle and deal with the narcissist bring in the new supply they cheated on you with around your child. They have been so disrespectful
Mine left me. I left him five years ago and 145 days went to a shelter women’s shelter came home every morning took the kids off to school. Was there when the kids were there? They didn’t wanna go to the shelter with me. I didn’t blame him. He did not say one word to me or grab me or say I love you. What are you doing? Everything‘s gonna be OK nothing so I left well I got a house after 145 days in the shelter and somehow he slither his way in and now five years later as of today two months ago three months ago he has a new supply he says he don’t love me. How is that? He said because I didn’t give him enough.
Give you something FUNNY AS HELL....i knew mine was always going to cheat. So we sat down drew contract like thing for open relationship. Means he go out with anyone as long as we talk, agreed on the person,etc... Go through all of that and he would lie about going with her😂. I knew the date was set, everything. He would say he went with friends.😂😂😂😂
I appreciate that you don't advocate for people to go back to their narcissist partner, but by the time people make it to your channel they're usually long done. I watch your videos as a reminder that my former partner will never truly let go (which is very difficult for me to comprehend). He gets a rise out of the false belief that he can reel me back in anytime (even 12 years post divorce). 😂😂😂
Yes I was “The love of his life” that got away lol The other supply would contact me and say but your the one he loves , he talks about you constantly 😂 So confusing, best run away 😂
Without empathy, there is NO love!
💯
Exactly!!! 🎯
Most definitely agree with this
I was the object of his affliction, like your daughter's rainbow toy, had to leave before he turned my colors monochromatic.
Yup it wasnt love it was ownership to them. Our experience and how we felt was different then how they felt.
It’s better if they don’t like you , it means you stood up for yourself 😤😤
Truth!
That part!🖐🏾
Thats what I go through it don't tolerate it an now she breaks up with me but I'm not going to take her back this time
One time he told me I made him feel safe and I am “everything” he wanted and he abused me in every way. Never did anything for me but did for everyone else. It messes with your mind so much. I told him that he sabotages every relationship. Breaking things off with him was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but I had no choice. His cheating and lying was starting to affect my career and everything in my life. I cried every day.
@@lisalee-re1gg I feel this 💔
❤
❤ same here! Then he realized why I didn’t respect him after lying cheating gambling and destroying everything we had, family, marriage and child! They are sick in the head!
@@lisalee-re1gg I was used also.
Used hard. Fk em.
THEY are the love of their life
😆
😂😂
@@Gilbert_Dice_Gottfried Good one 😆
Since most narcissists don't understand what real, true love is, they can't possibly be the love of their own lives because they don't love themselves!
Exactly.
LMAO!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He never beat me, but damaged me so bad mentally I wanted to take my own life.
Everyone is their soulmate
🤣
It's funny and disgusting at the same time.
@@buildfireforchrist
How they all play by the same book?
Exactly smdh
God bless you. I love that you preface EVERYTHING you say with “THIS DOES NOT MEAN GO BACK. NOOOO” 🤣🤣🤣👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
😂😂 HAVE TO
Ex was with his Newbie ..said to me .."I will always love you". I said " You cant love what you tried to destroy ".
💯
Absolutely got conditioned that the bare minimum was OK. He came around with love and sweet talk when he was in the mood, but basically avoided interaction most of the rest of the time. He watched TV all day. We lived in the same house, but hung out in separate rooms. He did almost nothing around the house. Since it was my house, it was all on me, including the bills. After so many years, I thought I was fine with it. After all, no one in my face all the time. It meant I got to do what ever I wanted to. I felt uncomfortable inviting anyone over though, because he didn’t like interacting with people much. He said I was the love of his life and I knew he was there, so I felt secure, or at least I thought I was. Ultimately I began to realize how lonely I had become. It wasn’t enough. It took me so long to see that I deserved better.
@@tamra8485 same!! I feel so stupid. After 20, years of marriage I realize I deserve better! I'm ashamed that it took me so long to realize I was married to a Narc.
Im not sure he was a narssist through what you described in my relationship I did everything work 12 to 14 hours an i would come home an do more work around the house like washing dishes etc but I'm still constantly told I don't do enough that she does way more an when it comes to her kids she tells me I do nothing an all my money an I mean all of it goes to the bills an whatever left she will find out what we need to pay for im constantly never get told thank you or appreciated yet she can say the best things to anyone else like everyone else is the best an im the worst I think your ex sounds like he was a slaker rather then a narssist an yeah I was called soul mate all these beautiful things before we got married once married all I jear now is how much I'm not meeting her standards an she can break up with me an go on holidays so this time I'm not going to take her back she can enjoy her life an I feel so light now the house feels so light so much cleaner everything I miss the sex an I did really love her but the more these things happen my love has drifted in only three years I beleave in one person marriages but she also
A flirt an makes me feel unattractive by her actions even though I also get alot of attraction from opisite sex I just don't flirt or give them the idea that I'm avaliable sucks really
I always felt that they expect you to accept less so that they are able to juggle multiple others
@@bahamagal4702 100%
Real love requires vulnerability, honesty, accountability, consideration, and reciprocity, all things narcissist are incapable of doing. When their victims accept that, they'll be able to cut of the narcissist forever.
@@ebonyapplepy3906 I think vulnerability to a narcissist is seen as weakness. It’s unfortunate and makes for a lack of real intimacy.
He told me told that everyone he has ever loved in his life *IS* the love of his life, and can’t wrap his head around monogamy. He said this upon being confronted about reaching out to his exes, holding onto photos (including a secret stash of nudes/half-nudes), and unsent love letters and poems to them. He told me I was the narcissist for expecting exclusive loyalty from him and that he’s tired of me putting myself at #1…. UHHHH, YEAH, YOU *MARRIED* ME?!?!?!?
😢
I told him he doesn't even like me and he said that doesn't make sense why would we be together, i said that's a thing, you don't even like me that's why you complain about everything and everything is about you you don't love me you love the empath in me the fact that you know I would love you even if you don't deserve it, when you are not willing to do that for anyone in return.
Exactly! What he loves about me, is that I love him 😖
I've heard the exact same so many times.
Yup, I was the love of my narcissist’s life. He told me daily how much he loved me. But I never felt cared for. Everything was about him. I finally had to tell him. Got gaslit big time and eventually discarded.
💯‼️
I think a very small part of him wanted to love, but he just wasn't capable. He is sick. It is sad. It won't end well for him.
I think the context Lee is talking about here, 'the love of their life' is really the initial infatuation stage , where for that short time they truly thought they were in love with you, or the person they perceived you to be, or the fantasy, the ideal, but not truly you. Narcissist are not capable of truly loving another person, full stop. They never loved you, the sooner you come to terms with that the better. No one is the love of their lives, they don't pine for you or are willing to do anything to make it work with you. Their initial love is out of a Mills and Boon romance novel, where they pretend to be the dashing prince, which they can't sustain, because it's not who they really are and when they realise you are not this perfect damsel in distress willing to dote on them, they will move on in search of the next exciting adventure.
So smartly put! Very good comparison! I learnt that the hard way, but life is but a sum of lessons, so I’ll treat this experience as one 🎉❤
My narcissist and I would get into what he would call "fallouts" because I would hold him accountable for the way he and his family were treating me. He would get so angry that I demanded respect and apologies that he would leave frequently and then come back. He would withhold hugs, kisses, sex for months at a time and if I asked for affection he would accuse me of pressuring him and sometimes accuse me of making him feel molested. That was the last straw for me to ever ask for physical affection again.
@@joydiaz8967 the same here. Exhausting... Would become angry, accusing me of everything,withholding any affection or even simple communication for months. Not helping with daily simple responsibilities etc. So many things... its like walking on eggshells . But completely opposite to the outside world.
@joydiaz8967 I can attest to this, too. He said, "I always wanted to have s*x, but he was the one cheating."
Never. A Narc can’t love.
A Narc is the greatest love of their own life.
😫
I love that! “To be the one that got away you have to get away”. Amen and amen
Amen!! Keep spreading these Beautiful Truths & liberating Lives, Lee!! Thank you 💯‼️🤗
You are so welcome
Anyone they can manipulate is the love of their life. One thing I noticed about narcissists is they are never single, they always move to one person or the other. 😂 I do know he'll be feeling my absence though.
I am enjoying this video & would absolutely love to hear more about how narcissists apologize. I’m going through a divorce while still under the same roof & am dealing with a lot of apologies & hoovering.
♥️
No. He hates me with a passion 💯 🎉 Always has, Always will
Nothing but mind games
💯
I do not believe that narcissists can love because they are too selfish
NOPE!!! He told me years after we had been married after a church service where we talked about love, that he's never been in love with me. I was crushed, and he's lived up to those words ever since. Lying and cheating. Now he's found the one he's willing to love, honor, protect, and commit to. Good for her, cause it wasn't me. What a waste of time.
@@mamasaid3 Oh honey I’ve been there and I promise you he did not do any such thing. I don’t care what he tells you, what she tells you, what it looks like on the outside or on social media, he will not treat her any better. I promise you because it wasn’t about you and it’s not about her it’s him. He will treat her the way he treats other human beings.
@CF-tp6sb Thank you for sharing that. It doesn't seem that way so far. They've been on more vacations in a year than I have in a lifetime. He has a credit card with her. He told her where my children and I live, and he took out another mortgage on the house we share to pay off all of his and her credit card bills while he pocketed the rest. I have yet to receive a penny from him. The list goes on and on. So, the only way I can sum it all up is that He Never loved me! I just wish I had seen it and accepted it before now.
@@mamasaid3 CFtp6sb is correct, he doesn't love, honor, protect, or commit to her any more than he did to you: she's just his shiny new supply at this time. The shine wears off, it always does. But of course they will both want to present an image of perfect relationship and especially to you. He is trying his darndest to rub it all in your face and show you he "won". Don't believe it, and feel sorry for his current supply because she is simply his next victim.
@drea4195 Thank you. They've been cheating together for five years, though. It started when I had myast baby, while I was pregnant with him, and I didn't see it. And to this day, he's even more attached to her as before and does everything for and with her. So, not that I don't believe you, I just don't see it yet. So, I'm trying to just focus on my children. But, I appreciate your words. I feel better about myself just from reading them.
😂😂😂😂 3:43 the hug comment 😂😂😂😂Lee is funny as hell!!
They don’t love themselves only the projection of others make them love themselves for a fleeing second 🤣🤣
I love love love your intro music it’s what caught my attention to you when I was searching for anything to make me feel sane again 🎉
Lee, first off... Thank you for your very informative videos. I've already watched dozens of them.
In this video you stress the fact that we shouldn't settle for less. So true. But here's something you might want to talk about in one of your next videos.
As a woman, when you grow up with a narcissistic father, you grow up being mentally and emotionally abused, belittled et cetera on a daily basis. In my case this resulted in multiple relationships with.. you guessed it, narcissists. I simply didn't REALLY register that I was treated badly. Women like me seem to be sitting ducks for narcissists and don't possess the ability to set healthy boundaries.
If there's anything you'd like to say about this, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you very much for your time.
i can do that
I think a lot of people like to hear a lie👂 instead of the truth🎯
It’s not enough to be loved. One of the sweetnesses of being loved is being loved by someone of great character.
We were driving somewhere, discussing something and he said "Kathy was the love of my life" - I told him he should go find her then and He told me she was married with kids now... Couple days later he told me his daughter and I are the loves of his life 🤦♀️ 💞😵💫💞 He honestly had no concept of unconditional true love. And yes, he treated me like shit!! Swear on Lee!!! Love it!!! 💯👍💖
🙏🏽💯
The way he dogged and treated me, I doubt it very seriously.
😫
Took me 5 years Post break up to get my mental health back on a HEALTHY basis!
!!
Everyone is love of their life! But only one gets away and they can’t feel with the loss!
‼️
Lmfaoooooo the introooo it’s always a movie with you LEE into the diagnose narcissist mind Movie clips lol 🎉🎉🎉
🙌🏾 appreciate it
You are a brilliant teacher, Lee. Not only are you great at getting the information across in a way that makes sense but you're also naturally funny and entertaining too. For me, you provide one of the best channels on this whole topic and I've seen a lot of channels on narcissism. Keep doing what you're doing, Lee. You're amazing!
I love that it’s not scripted. He adds real reactions and truth. I completely agree with you.
You're just flippin' awesome! I loooooove your videos! Been able to heal. Was able to now cut him off on all channels. Thanks a trillion times, from the bottom of my heart! MWAH on your handsome face! ❤❤❤
The narc said I was the love of their life. The narc said they waited for me their whole life. The narc said they have never been more ready to move in and have a family with someone.
It was all a lie.
Are they treating you like you are the love of their life?
A lot of times empaths don’t know what it feels like to be treated with unconditional love. My Mother withheld love all the time. If it wasn’t something she wanted to hear i.e. my chemistry classes, she had no interest but if I called her about friend drama, she was all ears and would stir the pot. I essentially married my Mom, the way he treated me was the love I encountered as a child and truly believed that was what I deserved. It wasn’t until I was ok being alone with my kids and God that I met my current partner. It’s been a year and I still get surprised when there is no retaliation for saying no or he calls to see if I made it to work safely without ulterior motives. This love feels more foreign and unnatural than the abusive love however my mind is clear and I am at peace with no unnecessary drama.
The healing process is not linear and takes years but you will always have the wounds from the abuse.
🙌🏾🙏🏽
I just discoverd you and you are appriciated for shearing your knowledge and wisdom. And I love your vibe. Bless you and you are doing amazing on your healing journey ❤
I took care of my wife for 22 years she left me for another man so you know what I did I left town because she's a mental case ,It hurts but real men know how to be strong.I have nothing to lose ,she's the one who lose a chosen one
That happened to me after 28 years. It hurt but it was a big release. I think that was the first time I actually breathed.
It's better for them to reject us. 😊...that's peace.
😊
Lee, I have learned so much from ur platform teaching us about interactions with narcissists. I had no idea that I was dealing with a narcissist until I ran across ur videos a couple of years ago. My toxic ex bf, a covert narcissist, had me fooled from the day we met! He discarded me over the years like nothing. We would reconnect and he would show me the person I wanted to see , the kind, loving, complimentary, spiritual, deep thinker, empathetic, humouros, charismatic, and good-natured side. Then I would say something in a text that he didn"t like or pose a question which he didn"t want to answer, or for whatever reason, (I have learned that they are great at not answering questions, never really being honest, and using the tactic of gaslighting!!!). I finally realized that over 40 years, he was truly everything I didn"t deserve in a man! I have not seen him in 30 years, and he kept me hanging around just in case! I asked him did he miss me and was that the reason he was texting me. He responding with "I really enjoy our friendship but often fimes our conversation goes sideways, and I don't know why so I have to be careful what I say." That was the last time he attempted his gaslighting with me. I told him it was best I have no contact with him. He didn't see that coming! Prior to this, I blocked him on Facebook after he messaged me. I asked why won't u let me go. He didn't respond at all. I immediately blocked him on Facebook. It was months later that he 1st texted asking if we could be "friends". He is still pondering that question & concept! He has contacted me sending songs, videos of women that look like me! Lol 🤣 I have not and will not respond to him. I know he wants to know if someone else has taken my heart. I keep getting fake friend requests and strange calls. NOTHING he can do or say to get me caught up in his toxicity. I will remain the one that got away!!! I know my worth, and my only regret is that I didn"t "see" him sooner. He let his mask slip so many times. I sometimes reflect on our relationship over 4 decades and can now understand what was happening to me. Thank you for doing what you do to make people aware and able to release themselves from the bondage of darkness narcissistic people are. I feel very grateful that though it is late in life, I settle no more! He needed me way more than I ever needed him. He misses the positive energy and vibe I gave. He knew that ai was still in love with him. No doubt! He should have known that one day I would wake up from that nightmare rollacoaster with him and really reclaim my life minus him! He always said that was like no one else and very smart! Both true statements! I thank God for education and discernment. My peace and joy trumps everything! God's continued blessings in 2025! ❤
Nahhh! The introduction music is great, don't change it ❤
Thank you 🙏
I have an interesting experience. After 3 years, my narc discarded me by meeting someone on a dating app and moving out within a month. That fizzled out quickly. They hoovered me for years in between other love interest. They did all the behaviors you talk about on this channel. At some point they were able to friend-zone me and we became friends. I allowed this. After about 3 years, I met someone and started dating. After 3 weeks of me seeing the person, the narc hit the fan. Threw the biggest temper tantrum ever. Wrote me a 6 page letter about how they thought we would always end up together even though they had not shown me romantic interest in 3 years. All that drama and they were with someone new within a month. When I asked if they meant that letter, they essentially downplayed it. So I continued dating the new person. We ended on good terms and I started focusing on myself. The narc has started hoovering me again and was shocked that I could be alone and be fine. For a long time I just thought they were a jerk but they are definitely on the narcissism spectrum.
Wow. Push-pull to the maximum.
😩 That's a wild ride!
Thank you so much for this. 🙏
You’re welcome
They don't know what love is. Whoever goes along with their BS is the love of their life.
😩
SPOT ON LEE!!
Appreciate it
You are right
I try
Thank you for bringing the heat🔥 set this Podcast on fire🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Nobody is... So the answer can only be: NO. Those people don´t even love themselves.
Nope not me....I wasn't the love of his life. I never moved up that high in his hierarchy.
Recovery is POSSIBLE 💪🙏🙏🙏
He told me I was everything he wasn’t and that I was the half of him that was missing…
So true! They are energy suckers. Took all my good energy until I had nothing left to give.
LOVE your videos, Lee! 💯💯💯
Glad you like them!
"Don't do this to meeee!"🤣
😆
Yes so true😢
Wasn't the love of his life, but I sure was the lesson that needed to be learned 😊
🙏🏽🙏🏽
She told me I was the love of her life after she left me for her new supply back in September. Yet she was devaluing me behind my back then went on a massive smear campaign that is still going on. She blocked me on everything and has been a cold hearted and I mean cold cold hearted during our divorce. How in the name of God is that love?
😂 “don’t do that to meeeee”😂😂😂 I LOVE IT!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
😂
"But for you, I'll just hit you in the back of the head"😂😂😂 Narc logic is unparalleled!!
😅
Raw Lee. I'm gonna get to work on the theme song. I've been writing a short verse for people who are survivors/ don't know yet. Keep rocking the truth sir!!❤
♥️🤭
Soon to be ex husband would tell me that, even wrote it in cards and STILL treated me the exact opposite of that.
Oh man
Wow this could actually be enlightening ❤
23 years with one before I left. I’m 45
Personal question Lee. Do you go out of your way to make sure you show your wife she if the love of your life? Does she have to settle? Are there compromises?
🙏
@@alisachaise3 It’s the best help I’ve ever received for narcissistic abuse for real. This channel can give you what no other can he’s just really gifted and knows the full score. 🙌
Exactly!!!! It finally was for me an enlightening after 5 years of struggle . Thank you
I defintely wasn't. I got devalued right from the start. Our second date was in his car, him pulling out the thing suddenly, I asked for a kiss and he just said no and said to get on the knees. We barely knew eachother by then. Later on we had love at first fight, he saw that I had huge reactions and he actually started to lovebomb me LATER ON in the dynamic. It was so intense that we had a lot of fights, because I was toxic too. He would call me 30 times, I would call him 30 times back to back. He would smear me for years and called me the most bad names and also showed it to me. I do wonder in this kind of dynamic if he now forgot about me or not, since it's not really a regular dynamic.
oh man
Forgot about what!? Narc don't remember 80 percent of their past
Pulling out the thing? Knees?
They love no one
Love you Lee. Ceep cursing wtf do you thing. The asshole broke me. Been good and honest and forgiving to him. He treated me like shit
We need it STRAIGHT with NO CHASER in 2025!! Thank You Sir! ♥️
🙏🏽♥️
Their current source is the love of their life. Once that's done. They show how they really felt. It isn't pretty
Psychological abuse, physically abused etc.out ASAP 🙏 🙏 🙏
Narcissist and people show🚩 you not ,tell you people need to understand The difference❤
The Lord delivered me l got away I'm so grateful 🙏🙏🙏
Ive never felt so hated in my life.
😢
It's how they create cognitive dissonance. Like what happens in addictive process too like how can feeling "normal" be so off center that you have to be on drugs that ruin your life in every way and ultimately take it?
Gaslighting you to think you have too high of standards if you complain is part of the "breadcrumbs to bread" mindfuck too. Like it's too much for you to expect a kiss or a text back or any moral support whatsoever. The hardest part of healing is realizing how much of yourself and your youth you lost and feeling so damn dumb for just giving it away! The worst thing you'll regret is not going No Contact SOONER.
the one in a million and forever
🙏🏽
I like when you're real Lee that's you comin through n ya make me laugh but at the same time I can tell ya tryna "get through" to us.
Happy New Year 🎊 Lee 😂
Happy New Year
I am the one who got away. And I will stay away.
We do downgrade after being with a narcissist. And that's.....sad. But to also know that God is with you and all you need to do is to make the jump
I didn't watch this whole video. I don't want to "downgrade" because it would be impossible for me to be in an intimate relationship with someone I'm not as physically attracted to as him.
Personal question Lee. Do you go out of your way to make sure you show your wife she if the love of your life? Does she have to settle? Are there compromises?
I put a comment on your wife's live that I do not understand why anyone would stay when someone cheats with no regard. I hope she didn't take that as a negative comment towards her. I was just responding to a comment in the chat and I felt bad last night that she might have taken it as a comment toward her. You have both helped a lot of people and I would not be nasty to either of you!
I know I was more than once.
Cuss it UP baby hell yeah haha
lol 😆
@@MentalHealness Terrell be like “I’m grown, I’m cussing.”
Can I join the support group from Europe
Yes. Https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers
They are the love of their own lives😂 AND their memory of you they love not the actual version of you
😆
Nex of 23 years said I was, "the girl he had seen in his dreams since he was 15".... that's funny because a girl he met while we were still married and barely knew for two weeks was, "his soulmate". He told everyone they were some dumb BS thing. 🤮
🤮
Man you keep me laughing, I probably was ,but I'm gone forever
They’re not capable of empathizing and love others so how can you or anyone be the love of a narcs life?
Lee, my narc ex girlfriend moved in with some another other chick unexpectedly because the girl has money....🤯 wtf!!!
Can you talk upon how to handle and deal with the narcissist bring in the new supply they cheated on you with around your child. They have been so disrespectful
Mine left me. I left him five years ago and 145 days went to a shelter women’s shelter came home every morning took the kids off to school. Was there when the kids were there? They didn’t wanna go to the shelter with me. I didn’t blame him. He did not say one word to me or grab me or say I love you. What are you doing? Everything‘s gonna be OK nothing so I left well I got a house after 145 days in the shelter and somehow he slither his way in and now five years later as of today two months ago three months ago he has a new supply he says he don’t love me. How is that? He said because I didn’t give him enough.
you can never give them enough
Give you something FUNNY AS HELL....i knew mine was always going to cheat. So we sat down drew contract like thing for open relationship. Means he go out with anyone as long as we talk, agreed on the person,etc...
Go through all of that and he would lie about going with her😂. I knew the date was set, everything. He would say he went with friends.😂😂😂😂
He would only tell the truth if he was trying to hurt my feelings
I appreciate that you don't advocate for people to go back to their narcissist partner, but by the time people make it to your channel they're usually long done. I watch your videos as a reminder that my former partner will never truly let go (which is very difficult for me to comprehend). He gets a rise out of the false belief that he can reel me back in anytime (even 12 years post divorce). 😂😂😂
Yes I was “The love of his life” that got away lol
The other supply would contact me and say but your the one he loves , he talks about you constantly 😂
So confusing, best run away 😂
Wow
Oh he called me his wife 16 years after divorce. They think they own you for life. Ugggh
It’s wild
@they have no boundaries , no self accountability,
My ex narc says he never felt so much love towards anyone as he does with me
Ha ha mine used to say “I worship the ground you walk on” what a crock of shit ha ha. It’s true though they thought more of soil than me ha ha
Mine said, "you're the best thing that ever happened to me" then talked lies about me and tried to kick me out less than 12 hours later
Mine called me his angel. Ugh makes me want to vomit 🤢 now.
“I aint holdin’ nothin’ back, Fuq it!” 😂😂😂
😂