As a male INFJ with adult ADHD, I totally get the desire to make a blog. It is hard for us to externalize our subjective or inner experience of ourselves and the world. At the same time, as an INFJ I like watching your videos because I feel more connected to you that way. I can identify with the struggle, and a fellow INFJ is going to understand that as well. You helped me understand the self-destructive Se pattern when I get stressed and overwhelmed so much better than anything I ever read about INFJs. I felt so connected to your frustration and pain with the inconsistency that coping strategy causes people like us. It is so de-stabilizing and causes us a lot of shame. Us INFJs might also understand you better than you think (we are highly intuitive!). Fellow INFJs are going to connect to your message by tracking the undercurrent of your process as the video progresses. It's just what we do. I think you often speak to non-INFJs when you speak about being confusing or long-winded. Sure, an ESTJ might become expasperated 2 minutes in, but is that who you're talking to when you're making these videos? That seems like an important question. An INFJ is likely going to appreciate your 15-20 minute videos, as we understand the depth of your experience and we feel a need to connect with someone like us. Just some thoughts. Do the blog if you want, but I hope you keep making these videos.
The key, for me, has been to realize that God is in everything, all living creatures. Probably even more important is also realizing that many of the methods made available as an option or as the way to spiritual enlightenment are, assuming they are honest, methods that worked for the individual who is advancing them. The paths to enlightenment tend to drag us through a specified process in hope of eliciting a specific result. True enlightenment is realizing the result is right there, ready and free for the taking, without the hoops and hurdles. We too often feel we must work for it, as we have all heard the good things in life are not free, but the problem arises when applying that type of thinking to one's relationship with God. It doesn't happen through works but through faith. He's always there just waiting for us to acknowledge and love Him. With faith and belief we can and will fall in love with Him.
Yes did he just ask us how to do that? 1. Choose a url adres, see what name is still available. 2. Go to a provider and claim the name and put wordpress on there. So i have ADD probably also dissociation or infp or i dont know: i have an asymetric brain that is very smart to come up with lost of great ideas just lacking executive functions to realize them. Im just saying if I can make a website anyone can. I couldnt do anything technical that took over 4 steps to complete. But then I found Versio. And there within 2 hours I had my own website- blog. So with Versio: they claim the adres for you and you buy their hosting. (But if you change host you can still keep your adress). Then there are just one or two buttons that you need to click on and then you have your site up and running!! And they even point out where to click: install wordpress? Yes click. Install database. Yes click. And then there is something rudimantary already online. And then you download a wordpress Theme. (Google 'free wordpress themes' and choose a nice one ) And then you upload it into your portal. So after you clicked the 2 clicks at versio portal then already it automatically installs itself and then you can enter your own site at www.(whateveryournameis).com/wp-admin. And in that portal you change the Theme and fill in a the text and photo's and change the menu categories.
Don’t fear long videos, Tom. I (and I think many others, especially those who enjoy narration vids/story telling) rather enjoy things that are longer and don’t necessary require staring at a screen the whole time. It’s quiet nice to listen to something while doing other tasks like grocery shopping, chores or just relaxing:) Love your channel💘
Hey Tom. First, I'll say that this is the only second time I've ever commented on a UA-cam video. I've always felt highly uncomfortable doing so, but I resonate so much with what you talk about that I want to be sure to give you the positive feedback and make a connection in some way. I've just recently stumbled upon your videos (and Katie Marie's - hers led me to yours) and, as I'm sure you've heard from lots of other people, it's uncanny, and so incredibly reassuring and affirming, to hear someone else verbalize almost exactly how I feel and what I think about so many things. I, too, have embarked on a path of self-discovery and spiritual exploration and hold the exact same perspective you describe here. I've also communed with ayahuasca and absolutely loved your recent video on that. Thanks for putting yourself out to the world and making our small tribe feel not so alone and alien-like.
You're fascinating. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I really enjoy watching your videos, I always come away with some great new information to think about! :)
I believe that 1st form u spoke of is called Asceticism. Just 1 of many forms... It was the Buddha's initial path to awareness, but later he eventually taught of what he called the Middle Path. All things in balance. :)
oh my god this explains everything too well i just took a add test online and although not accurate i can relate to all of them my god lol this is so funny cuz i just found this out about myself like you said this explains everything and why i always felt left out cuz i would always overreact or do say weird things and people would be like what and so i suppressed me totally and this has caused me depression for so long jesus cuz i thought i was weird somethings wrong with me but i totally had no idea that it was add on the website that i tested on did say explicitly "It’s the same reason you took this test: undiagnosed and untreated, this neurodevelopmental disorder sabotages your best efforts." by the way i would watch your videos for that long 20mins i think your stuff are interesting thank you tom
Fantastically spoken! I've always reached my highest spiritual self when in amongst nature. You realise your insignificance in these moments, and reach self-acceptance.
not ignore or disregard the tendencies towards the negative emotions like depression, but to try and find out what it's telling you and understanding yourself
Do you follow Teal Swan? That's where I learned about Shadow Work. Her videos are so powerful that I can only watch one every few months, it's draining. She's spot on.
Curious about your ADD/ INFJ link theory... none of the INFJs I've met in real life display many ADD characteristics. The INFJs I know (myself included) tend to have rather good concentration, it's just they don't enjoy concentrating on sensory details if there's no bigger picture to consider - but concentrating on for example, a homework or work task is something that INFJs can be exceptionally good at. Ni tends to have a much longer (natural) attention span than say Ne. I think an INFJs focus (without AD(H)D) would be down to their motivation about the task/topic, whether they feel it is worth concentrating on... or if there is an emotional shame block relating to that topic or task. We may have inferior Se but we generally can plan around that by keeping a diary/ to do list to make sure we complete external tasks, reading through a draft several times and by being motivated by an Fe purpose. Paying attention to certain things may not be as enjoyable but can do it no problem when needed. I hope you found your diagnosis helped you to understand yourself and how best to support achieving your potential! :)
I'm an infj too . I've had part of this spiritual awakening thing going on my whole life. Also do have adhd I understand on what your saying but just like he said in the video it's like you have tomtry to suppress your energy or you but eventually come out some sort of way. I've grown quite out of and have my traits but there's only a few adhd infjs out there just not common. :)
Hey Tom! 😀 There's three things I gotta say: 1. A while ago one of the psychologists that I follow here on You Tube did a two-part interview with a guy who has adult ADD and in it he talks about how he manages it and even uses some of its symptoms to advance in live so give it a listen, if you have time, to see if you find it relatable or useful: m.ua-cam.com/video/SsDSDUqyYqA/v-deo.html 2. Totally agree on the main point of this video. The more you face yourself and your emotions directly the easier it becomes to understand and deal with them, the more connected you'll feel to yourself and others, and that process of self acceptance, growth and connection is already in its own right a very spiritual experience because it gives all the positive feelings and results that people (including myself at times) seek through religion and/or spirituality. Instead of always or often going to God or whatever else to say things like: "oh no I failed forgive me!" Or "why did this happen? Everything was so perfect!" Instead asking oneself: "what made me trip over? Should I even be falling over this? Why did it make me fall? What does that say about me? What does it say about the world? What does it say about the way I deal with the world? And the answers to those questions make it much easier to get back up stronger, and feeling much more prepared to keep going. (Now I feel the need to shamelessly plug my favorite Eurovision song of the year here because that won't fix by running line fits so perfect into this point: m.ua-cam.com/video/jBmkNzFZUW4/v-deo.html) 3. I once used Square Space to build a website and (if I remember correctly) it was very easy to set up. You just kept choosing from the options they gave you for the background, font etc. and in a few minutes your page was ready. I don't remember if it was free though... But check it out and see if it works for you because I don't know about everybody else here, but I'd very much enjoy a bit more of you in my life. :-)
I love your honesty and authenticity! Very interesting subject as well and I've been struggling with the same thing for a while now. On the one hand I'm incredibly drawn to the 'hardcore' spiritual traditions like Buddhism, but on the other hand I'm in love with Jung and the way he saw self actualization in what seems to be a more human light. I still don't know what the hack this all means and how I can reconcile all of this knowledge.
Hi Tom, thank you so much for your videos. Sometimes when I so desperately feel like I need someone else to understand me, I turn to your videos. Vlogs seem so perfect for INFJ's, with organizing and voicing our overwhelming amount and depth of emotions and thoughts. Wish I had your bravery! I've been struggling with empathy recently. With so much pain and suffering in the world, it's hard not to let it overcome you. How do you deal with not letting others' emotions become your own? Again, thank you so much. I think you're very important in so many peoples' lives!
"How do you deal with not letting others' emotions become your own?" Hmm that's a toughie and to be honest I think if your an empath by nature you can't really help it. I've tried 'blocking' things out in the past but it made me feel cold, aloof and inauthentic to who I actually was. Of course you need to set boundaries for yourself and also allow yourself time to decompress from emotional overload, artistic en-devours are very helpful for this or any form of self expression. Yet at the end of the day if your very sensitive to others emotions it probably means you're here to help play a part in healing this world, so start to view it as a strength and not a weakness and whilst you try and help others make sure you find support for yourself too, something INFJ's can too easily forget about. Oh and about bravery, whenever I make one of these videos, especially if not for a while I get pretty damn nervous and it takes several attempts, bravery is not the absence of fear it's when you feel afraid but do it anyway, start small and build up, everyone can do it!
Tom Davison Thank you! I think you're right. I've noticed it helps to channel my empathy into my interactions with others. It sort of turns me into a kind of counselor, but I'm okay with that. Now, my goal every day is to make the world a better place than it was the day before, even just slightly better. You shouldn't have any problem with bravery! You're a very inspiring individual and obviously a lot of people love hearing what you have to say. I just hope these videos help you as much as they help others.
I have been diagnosed already, I'm an INFJ and I also have ADHD! I feel like sence I've found out about the INFJ it explains so very much to me...good luck..
Oh me oh my ‘ ~ first I became a monk for a very long time, and then I reluctantly became a fallen human., now I am reclaiming my physical reality & working on SELF ACCEPTANCE 😘💚💌👩🏻
I think this works best with intuitive types that have introverted intuition as the top function but is not impossible for other types.However the practice of simply accepting and understanding human nature,behavior, can have almost a therapeutic,spiritual affect on the individual.How can one harbor anger, frustration,resentment,or plain judgment on someone or something he or she can see and completely understand within themselves? This is a method in which you exploit others for personal growth by recognizing, and understanding with zero judgement why we behave the way we do ,however ugly and off that sounds.
You made some pretty interesting points Tom. Some of what you are saying is quite similar to much of Kierkegaard's philosophy. Specifically, Kierkegaard talks about how God should be sought after, encountered, rather than rationalised or blindly followed. Of course, Kierkegaard pointed towards Christ as being the over-arching purpose or solution to human spirituality. So the teaching can't be entirely carried over for someone who doesn't align with Christian ideals and beliefs etc.. However still an interesting discussion to be had all-round from people of all faiths and beliefs.
MOVE TO SWEDEN ALREADY! I'll F'n house you and we'll go on endless life adventures, change our inner states completely to be set free, and so we do the same automatically with the external world, by living our truth! Haha, unbelievable how gooood you are man.
Please be careful of any meds that may prescribed. I was wrongfully diagnosed with bipolar disorder and took medication I should have never been on. It created a horror story of issues I should've never been exposed to. I was reevaluated by another specialist and was immediately weened off the medication because what I was actually experiencing was as form of ptsd not manic depressive. I was treated for the ptsd and bipolar was expunged from my medical record. I was never placed on medication again and have received the proper treatment but suffered for some time from withdrawls from the medication that included paranoia and memory loss. Best of luck to you.
I certainly hope you can. We INFJs can be very sensitive to these things. If you would like I would be happy to relay more information through e-mail ilahmache@gmail.com.
You should check out Sufism as a spiritual practice. i have a sufi master that i go to and he has helped re-invent myself so far and i absolutely love it.
Squarespace is a great site for making blogs. That is, if you don't mind paying a few bucks a month to keep up and running. But, I've had good experiences with blogger.com
BTW, about ADD.. I feel like I'm very good at emerging myself in certain activities completely. And simultaniously I can be very "dreamy." Maybe your concentration span is just shortened because of depression/ anxiety? It's also a very common (yet unknown!) symptom of these conditions. Maybe something to think about, I noticed it in myself during my "rough patch" if you will.
i do the same, i just started taking the test for genetical disorder (ADD), i asked for it, cus I'm just a little bit curious according to how i have been acting since childhood. the psychiatric (that you only see once, and as the first person whom does a short intervju, in order to get some kind on information for further investigation. she mentioned possible asperger just like that, and to me that wasn't professional to say, just like that after only been talking for one hour :), i was surprised :), what a misstake i think, actually :). and she was wrong, cus i have done several test online for that, and that always says I'm not, and i dont want to have asperger, in fact i dont want to have any disorder. :) it's gonna be fun see how the tests are formed, like; can i find any flaws (cus i already know so much by reading), and also interesting to se how they are as a person, cus there are so many ppl in this field that who does not fit doing what they are doing. i actually disapproved the psychiatrist, i felt she was somewhat cold, distant, asked questions several times, i was thinking; what of her memory(?), like aren't she listening, i felt a little bit 'sad'/disappointed at that. :) another thing: as i have understood, we can all have several disorders at the same time on a scale (for example; a little asperger, a little psychopathy, adhd/add and so on), and that upbringing can make it worse or better. sorry, my native language is not english, I'm doing my best.
Goodness.....I'm about to set up time with a therapist to figure out if I have ADD. Which I'm almost more than certain I do have. My fear also is that I'm just lazy.....or not getting enough sleep :/
Thanks I just read a few articles written by him. The view he holds that our society is overly sexualized not because we are sexually liberated but because we still haven't developed a notion of mature sexual understanding makes great sense.
ADHD, a label for not being able to perform to somebody else's concept of how that "should" be in...I'm a bit OCD, perhaps a bit ADHD, at times highly motivated and focussed, other times procrastinating or just feeling a need for rest...that's just how it rolls...the waves ebbs/flows/nature...it's liberating to just be...if finding out more about ADHD helps you understand more it's all good...self acceptance of being different is ok! We're not all meant to fit in the same boxes...
Oh no totally, I think ADHD whether i turn out to have it or not is a blessing. It's only when your trying to fit yourself into the rigid lines of a system that does not cater for you where it appears to be an issue. I love my hyper-activity, well at least now that I realise that it doesn't necessarily mean I'm crazy or weird, and there's a reason for it. Whilst gaining an understanding on how to be more focused so I can actually produce and create something with the abundance of stuff swimming around in my head would be greatly welcomed!
Just letting you know, you don’t have to keep saying your videos are going on to long. Let me decide that as a viewer, if I click on a video thats 15 mins, and I enjoy the topic, then I am far more likely to watch it to the end, but if I find it boring or disinteresting I will click off of it. No hate, just some advice, I do enjoy watching your videos, and learning more about myself, and other peoples INFJ experiences, and how it relates to my own.
Are you familiar with Neville Goddard teachings? I think you would benefit from them. He claims that you are the only person in the world with free will and that everbody you meet in your life and how they act towards you is a co-product of your self dialogue. Everything exist in your imagination, you are the only conscious being in your version of reality, when you change your beleive about something or someone internally it starts to change on the external (people starts to act differently out of blue, it explains how "miracles" works and how healing works, it explains why some people are lucky). Neville Goddard teachings are based on the Bible, but they don't have a lot to do with a trafitional christianity, Neville teached that people in the Bible were just methapors of different human states of consciousness.
I agree that blogging would be a good way to go about it. I am not very sure but I guess a simple way would be through blogger.com or wordpress.com. Nice video btw
Hello Tom, Somebody probably thought you were cute not being able to say "specifically." (And you're still cute!) Start to say, "spell" or "special" instead and then you can say it. I really liked your toxic shame video and hoping you'll follow up with that. TY
BLOGGING TIP: Use Wordpress. Super easy to blog. You can find all kinds of places to host a WP blog, some for free even, but if you want your own domain name and you want the best, I use and recommend WPEngine: thrl.in/wpengine Thanks for everything Tom! 🙏
i experinced all what toms talking about by accident. before that i was what i thought to be 100% atheist and trying to view everything as logical, humans arent logical.
What you've said here (minus the chakras etc) is pretty much in line with Freud's ideas on the repressed animal nature being manifested through neuroticism. Obviously, the man was by and large obsessed with a very particular side of this very human nature (libido), but taken with a pinch of salt it sort of makes sense. Is psychology a hobby or have you perhaps formally studied this?
It's just an interest, I've never been to uni or anything. The whole notion of having a repressed primal nature (id) makes complete sense to me and I agree with a lot with Freud's theories, however I find myself more drawn towards Jung and the direction he was headed in. Yet what fascinates me the most is that although a person can develop complete knowledge of all of this intellectually they can still be held spellbound by and subjugated to their own inner energies and drives when they arise. Which is why I feel that personal experience of such matters practiced in an 'aware' and 'unashamed' state of consciousness yields the greatest results in achieving personal freedom and knowledge of one's self. Spiritual traditions that involved a practical element such as meditation were the way this was achieved traditionally yet it seems impossible to separate the benefits of such practice from belief systems and superstitions that cause conflict and disagreement. The work of Freud and Jung has provided a more modern scientific understanding but it's how to resolve these issues in a secular society that is still riddled with centuries old shame that has remained tightly hidden in the shadows.
I have a very limited understanding of the many spiritual traditions that have been around for millennia but it seems to me that it is fairly easy to interpret something as 'shapeless' as spirituality whichever way one pleases, it can be often deemed 'everything' and 'nothing' at the same time. But as I said, my knowledge and exposure to this field is limited. Psychology on the other hand, is somewhat shady as a science, since the proof of any theory will be fairly inconclusive. But that's the best we have, unfortunately, and at least it induces, hopefully, a degree of critical thinking serving as second opinion, which we also, in my view, should not blindly accept as a given. Having said that, you are doing a great job in explaining these states and are very insightful with regards to the underlying mechanisms - this may be challenging to test empirically but I am sure people can relate. Keep it up, Tom :)
Hi Tom, when you say that we need to release everything to get to spirituality, what if you hurt someone when you release negative emotions, like anger?
Well that would be when your 'overtaken' by anger and when your overtaken by an emotion you can't learn from it because you lose your consciousness of it and it becomes you. So what I mean is finding a place, either alone or with a safe group of people where you can explore these emotions in a way where you can express them yet also learn about what lies behind them. The reason a lot of people carry so much anger inside is because they believe that expressing anger is wrong, which ironically just makes them more angry and eventually such anger boils over in way that can hurt others. Like I mention in the video Religious concepts such as 'Sin' can make this even worse "Oh no I lost my temper I'm bad and need to pray for forgiveness" It's this toxic shame we carry towards our own emotional expressions and our unwillingness to take responsibility for it that causes us the most pain, yet it's this understanding that will free people. Our society is so shame based that the only way most people feel they can cope with their emotions is through repression or distractions, otherwise your just viewed as crazy and need to see a shrink. There seems to be no middle ground, no recognition that emotional intelligence would make more people happy, more happy than being stuck in the never ending chase of material gain. Which is maybe why it's all glossed over, because it might prove to be a stick in the wheel of our capitalist system, 'Happy people make bad consumers', so it's the you as the individual that has to take the first step, then more will follow suit yet to do so requires great bravery and courage.
This is very interesting concept, and I totally agree with you. That self-awareness work shouldn't only be about the positive aspects but also the "hidden" or "shameful" too...but this is too taboo for society at the moment. Do you find that as an INFJ, you can also be too aware and worried about how others might react to your negative emotions, using your Fe too much. eg when you wanted to say, "I am angry you took my lollies!" but realize that they may get upset at you for accusing of them taking your lollies...and then you start to feel bad about it, (while all this takes place inside your head, and the opportunity for you to express your anger is gone) How should an INFJ (or over active Fe) go about this dilemma and feel ok about expressing shadow self?
Oh no if people take my lollies I lose my shit!! Ain't no escaping my wrath, that's just a line you don't cross! Jokes aside I completely understand your concern and to be honest it was this same frustration that led me to start getting involved with shadow work, I've always suffered with the 'too nice' syndrome and my Fe is overly accommodating even among people that tick me off. There's no quick fix it's a combination of developing more self awareness, working on your emotional expression and also placing enough value on yourself so as to not spend so much time around people who may 'drain' you. This alone will breed confidence and assertiveness because your actually taking an action that proves to yourself that you won't take lolly thieving lightly! ; )
As a male INFJ with adult ADHD, I totally get the desire to make a blog. It is hard for us to externalize our subjective or inner experience of ourselves and the world. At the same time, as an INFJ I like watching your videos because I feel more connected to you that way. I can identify with the struggle, and a fellow INFJ is going to understand that as well. You helped me understand the self-destructive Se pattern when I get stressed and overwhelmed so much better than anything I ever read about INFJs. I felt so connected to your frustration and pain with the inconsistency that coping strategy causes people like us. It is so de-stabilizing and causes us a lot of shame. Us INFJs might also understand you better than you think (we are highly intuitive!). Fellow INFJs are going to connect to your message by tracking the undercurrent of your process as the video progresses. It's just what we do. I think you often speak to non-INFJs when you speak about being confusing or long-winded. Sure, an ESTJ might become expasperated 2 minutes in, but is that who you're talking to when you're making these videos? That seems like an important question. An INFJ is likely going to appreciate your 15-20 minute videos, as we understand the depth of your experience and we feel a need to connect with someone like us. Just some thoughts. Do the blog if you want, but I hope you keep making these videos.
INFJ people can watch longer videos :) I like your videos
If we were supposed to be entirely spiritual, we wouldn't be here on this earth. I believe we're here to learn the "human" lessons and joys
and at the same time remain spiritually aware
Yes I agree, as above so below and vice versa.
Life is a spiritual journey. We are not human, we're a spirit in an earthly body.
You really put to words so many things I've been thinking, feeling, and realizing lately! Thank you for this video
Spouting things out is what INFJs do the best!
Great work! Very supportive!
The key, for me, has been to realize that God is in everything, all living creatures. Probably even more important is also realizing that many of the methods made available as an option or as the way to spiritual enlightenment are, assuming they are honest, methods that worked for the individual who is advancing them.
The paths to enlightenment tend to drag us through a specified process in hope of eliciting a specific result. True enlightenment is realizing the result is right there, ready and free for the taking, without the hoops and hurdles. We too often feel we must work for it, as we have all heard the good things in life are not free, but the problem arises when applying that type of thinking to one's relationship with God. It doesn't happen through works but through faith.
He's always there just waiting for us to acknowledge and love Him. With faith and belief we can and will fall in love with Him.
hello, you are one of the few people that i know are REAL! So go on your work, it is good!! God bless you!!
Please do start a written blog in addition to making videos. There is great value in what you are sharing.
Yes did he just ask us how to do that? 1. Choose a url adres, see what name is still available. 2. Go to a provider and claim the name and put wordpress on there. So i have ADD probably also dissociation or infp or i dont know: i have an asymetric brain that is very smart to come up with lost of great ideas just lacking executive functions to realize them. Im just saying if I can make a website anyone can. I couldnt do anything technical that took over 4 steps to complete. But then I found Versio. And there within 2 hours I had my own website- blog. So with Versio: they claim the adres for you and you buy their hosting. (But if you change host you can still keep your adress). Then there are just one or two buttons that you need to click on and then you have your site up and running!! And they even point out where to click: install wordpress? Yes click. Install database. Yes click. And then there is something rudimantary already online. And then you download a wordpress Theme. (Google 'free wordpress themes' and choose a nice one ) And then you upload it into your portal. So after you clicked the 2 clicks at versio portal then already it automatically installs itself and then you can enter your own site at www.(whateveryournameis).com/wp-admin. And in that portal you change the Theme and fill in a the text and photo's and change the menu categories.
It is always good to see another person with similar thoughts. Thank you Tom. 😊
Don’t fear long videos, Tom. I (and I think many others, especially those who enjoy narration vids/story telling) rather enjoy things that are longer and don’t necessary require staring at a screen the whole time. It’s quiet nice to listen to something while doing other tasks like grocery shopping, chores or just relaxing:)
Love your channel💘
Hey Tom. First, I'll say that this is the only second time I've ever commented on a UA-cam video. I've always felt highly uncomfortable doing so, but I resonate so much with what you talk about that I want to be sure to give you the positive feedback and make a connection in some way. I've just recently stumbled upon your videos (and Katie Marie's - hers led me to yours) and, as I'm sure you've heard from lots of other people, it's uncanny, and so incredibly reassuring and affirming, to hear someone else verbalize almost exactly how I feel and what I think about so many things. I, too, have embarked on a path of self-discovery and spiritual exploration and hold the exact same perspective you describe here. I've also communed with ayahuasca and absolutely loved your recent video on that. Thanks for putting yourself out to the world and making our small tribe feel not so alone and alien-like.
You're fascinating. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I really enjoy watching your videos, I always come away with some great new information to think about! :)
I believe that 1st form u spoke of is called Asceticism. Just 1 of many forms... It was the Buddha's initial path to awareness, but later he eventually taught of what he called the Middle Path. All things in balance. :)
oh my god this explains everything too well i just took a add test online and although not accurate i can relate to all of them my god lol this is so funny cuz i just found this out about myself like you said this explains everything and why i always felt left out cuz i would always overreact or do say weird things and people would be like what and so i suppressed me totally and this has caused me depression for so long jesus cuz i thought i was weird somethings wrong with me but i totally had no idea that it was add on the website that i tested on did say explicitly "It’s the same reason you took this test: undiagnosed and untreated, this neurodevelopmental disorder sabotages your best efforts."
by the way i would watch your videos for that long 20mins i think your stuff are interesting thank you tom
uh .. i intensely relate , that's amazing, thank you for the courage to express your inner out .
YES! I'm sharing this with my friends, you nail down exactly my vision on how we as the human race can grow to the next level
Fantastically spoken! I've always reached my highest spiritual self when in amongst nature. You realise your insignificance in these moments, and reach self-acceptance.
not ignore or disregard the tendencies towards the negative emotions like depression, but to try and find out what it's telling you and understanding yourself
Do you follow Teal Swan? That's where I learned about Shadow Work. Her videos are so powerful that I can only watch one every few months, it's draining. She's spot on.
Thank you for this. 🙏🏼 The one Greak Awakening. Peace Brotha. ✌🏼 Hope this pandemic isnt affecting your spritual path- stay healthy.
Curious about your ADD/ INFJ link theory... none of the INFJs I've met in real life display many ADD characteristics. The INFJs I know (myself included) tend to have rather good concentration, it's just they don't enjoy concentrating on sensory details if there's no bigger picture to consider - but concentrating on for example, a homework or work task is something that INFJs can be exceptionally good at. Ni tends to have a much longer (natural) attention span than say Ne.
I think an INFJs focus (without AD(H)D) would be down to their motivation about the task/topic, whether they feel it is worth concentrating on... or if there is an emotional shame block relating to that topic or task. We may have inferior Se but we generally can plan around that by keeping a diary/ to do list to make sure we complete external tasks, reading through a draft several times and by being motivated by an Fe purpose. Paying attention to certain things may not be as enjoyable but can do it no problem when needed.
I hope you found your diagnosis helped you to understand yourself and how best to support achieving your potential! :)
I'm an infj too . I've had part of this spiritual awakening thing going on my whole life. Also do have adhd I understand on what your saying but just like he said in the video it's like you have tomtry to suppress your energy or you but eventually come out some sort of way. I've grown quite out of and have my traits but there's only a few adhd infjs out there just not common. :)
Hey Tom! 😀
There's three things I gotta say:
1. A while ago one of the psychologists that I follow here on You Tube did a two-part interview with a guy who has adult ADD and in it he talks about how he manages it and even uses some of its symptoms to advance in live so give it a listen, if you have time, to see if you find it relatable or useful: m.ua-cam.com/video/SsDSDUqyYqA/v-deo.html
2. Totally agree on the main point of this video. The more you face yourself and your emotions directly the easier it becomes to understand and deal with them, the more connected you'll feel to yourself and others, and that process of self acceptance, growth and connection is already in its own right a very spiritual experience because it gives all the positive feelings and results that people (including myself at times) seek through religion and/or spirituality.
Instead of always or often going to God or whatever else to say things like: "oh no I failed forgive me!" Or "why did this happen? Everything was so perfect!" Instead asking oneself: "what made me trip over? Should I even be falling over this? Why did it make me fall? What does that say about me? What does it say about the world? What does it say about the way I deal with the world? And the answers to those questions make it much easier to get back up stronger, and feeling much more prepared to keep going.
(Now I feel the need to shamelessly plug my favorite Eurovision song of the year here because that won't fix by running line fits so perfect into this point: m.ua-cam.com/video/jBmkNzFZUW4/v-deo.html)
3. I once used Square Space to build a website and (if I remember correctly) it was very easy to set up. You just kept choosing from the options they gave you for the background, font etc. and in a few minutes your page was ready. I don't remember if it was free though... But check it out and see if it works for you because I don't know about everybody else here, but I'd very much enjoy a bit more of you in my life. :-)
Thank you Joe! Very much appreciated.
I love your honesty and authenticity! Very interesting subject as well and I've been struggling with the same thing for a while now. On the one hand I'm incredibly drawn to the 'hardcore' spiritual traditions like Buddhism, but on the other hand I'm in love with Jung and the way he saw self actualization in what seems to be a more human light. I still don't know what the hack this all means and how I can reconcile all of this knowledge.
Hi Tom, thank you so much for your videos. Sometimes when I so desperately feel like I need someone else to understand me, I turn to your videos. Vlogs seem so perfect for INFJ's, with organizing and voicing our overwhelming amount and depth of emotions and thoughts. Wish I had your bravery! I've been struggling with empathy recently. With so much pain and suffering in the world, it's hard not to let it overcome you. How do you deal with not letting others' emotions become your own? Again, thank you so much. I think you're very important in so many peoples' lives!
"How do you deal with not letting others' emotions become your own?" Hmm that's a toughie and to be honest I think if your an empath by nature you can't really help it. I've tried 'blocking' things out in the past but it made me feel cold, aloof and inauthentic to who I actually was. Of course you need to set boundaries for yourself and also allow yourself time to decompress from emotional overload, artistic en-devours are very helpful for this or any form of self expression. Yet at the end of the day if your very sensitive to others emotions it probably means you're here to help play a part in healing this world, so start to view it as a strength and not a weakness and whilst you try and help others make sure you find support for yourself too, something INFJ's can too easily forget about. Oh and about bravery, whenever I make one of these videos, especially if not for a while I get pretty damn nervous and it takes several attempts, bravery is not the absence of fear it's when you feel afraid but do it anyway, start small and build up, everyone can do it!
Tom Davison Thank you! I think you're right. I've noticed it helps to channel my empathy into my interactions with others. It sort of turns me into a kind of counselor, but I'm okay with that. Now, my goal every day is to make the world a better place than it was the day before, even just slightly better. You shouldn't have any problem with bravery! You're a very inspiring individual and obviously a lot of people love hearing what you have to say. I just hope these videos help you as much as they help others.
I 100% want you to read Siddhartha by Herman Hess. you'll love it.
It's one of my favorite books! : D
I have been diagnosed already, I'm an INFJ and I also have ADHD! I feel like sence I've found out about the INFJ it explains so very much to me...good luck..
I like all the crows cawing in the background.
Oh me oh my ‘ ~ first I became a monk for a very long time, and then I reluctantly became a fallen human., now I am reclaiming my physical reality & working on SELF ACCEPTANCE 😘💚💌👩🏻
I think this works best with intuitive types that have introverted intuition as the top function but is not impossible for other types.However the practice of simply accepting and understanding human nature,behavior, can have almost a therapeutic,spiritual affect on the individual.How can one harbor anger, frustration,resentment,or plain judgment on someone or something he or she can see and completely understand within themselves?
This is a method in which you exploit others for personal growth by recognizing, and understanding with zero judgement why we behave the way we do ,however ugly and off that sounds.
You made some pretty interesting points Tom. Some of what you are saying is quite similar to much of Kierkegaard's philosophy. Specifically, Kierkegaard talks about how God should be sought after, encountered, rather than rationalised or blindly followed. Of course, Kierkegaard pointed towards Christ as being the over-arching purpose or solution to human spirituality. So the teaching can't be entirely carried over for someone who doesn't align with Christian ideals and beliefs etc.. However still an interesting discussion to be had all-round from people of all faiths and beliefs.
You remind me of Drew Canole! I like your videos, because I can relate to your thoughts & feelings - infp here (: Keep doing what you're doing!
Cheers! I'll try.
For some seclusion is the first step. Then understanding self reflection and how to wield it is vital to the rest of it to synchronize
you are so wise young man
MOVE TO SWEDEN ALREADY! I'll F'n house you and we'll go on endless life adventures, change our inner states completely to be set free, and so we do the same automatically with the external world, by living our truth! Haha, unbelievable how gooood you are man.
Lol is being a caveman when it comes to technology an INFJ thing, because I sure as hell am one
Thank you Tom I needed this
Excited to see a post about shadow work.
Please be careful of any meds that may prescribed. I was wrongfully diagnosed with bipolar disorder and took medication I should have never been on. It created a horror story of issues I should've never been exposed to. I was reevaluated by another specialist and was immediately weened off the medication because what I was actually experiencing was as form of ptsd not manic depressive. I was treated for the ptsd and bipolar was expunged from my medical record. I was never placed on medication again and have received the proper treatment but suffered for some time from withdrawls from the medication that included paranoia and memory loss. Best of luck to you.
Yeah I will be, If diagnosed I would prefer to develop a means of managing centered around diet, exercise and self education but we'll see.
I certainly hope you can. We INFJs can be very sensitive to these things. If you would like I would be happy to relay more information through e-mail ilahmache@gmail.com.
Hey Tom! Totally recommend Wordress or Blogger, but I find Wordpress to be more professional and has a nicer layout.
You should check out Sufism as a spiritual practice. i have a sufi master that i go to and he has helped re-invent myself so far and i absolutely love it.
Squarespace is a great site for making blogs. That is, if you don't mind paying a few bucks a month to keep up and running. But, I've had good experiences with blogger.com
BTW, about ADD.. I feel like I'm very good at emerging myself in certain activities completely. And simultaniously I can be very "dreamy." Maybe your concentration span is just shortened because of depression/ anxiety? It's also a very common (yet unknown!) symptom of these conditions. Maybe something to think about, I noticed it in myself during my "rough patch" if you will.
Dat Bish autism/ adhd is Very common together both walk hand in hand with infj and spirituality
i do the same, i just started taking the test for genetical disorder (ADD), i asked for it, cus I'm just a little bit curious according to how i have been acting since childhood. the psychiatric (that you only see once, and as the first person whom does a short intervju, in order to get some kind on information for further investigation. she mentioned possible asperger just like that, and to me that wasn't professional to say, just like that after only been talking for one hour :), i was surprised :), what a misstake i think, actually :). and she was wrong, cus i have done several test online for that, and that always says I'm not, and i dont want to have asperger, in fact i dont want to have any disorder. :)
it's gonna be fun see how the tests are formed, like; can i find any flaws (cus i already know so much by reading), and also interesting to se how they are as a person, cus there are so many ppl in this field that who does not fit doing what they are doing. i actually disapproved the psychiatrist, i felt she was somewhat cold, distant, asked questions several times, i was thinking; what of her memory(?), like aren't she listening, i felt a little bit 'sad'/disappointed at that. :)
another thing: as i have understood, we can all have several disorders at the same time on a scale (for example; a little asperger, a little psychopathy, adhd/add and so on), and that upbringing can make it worse or better.
sorry, my native language is not english, I'm doing my best.
Goodness.....I'm about to set up time with a therapist to figure out if I have ADD. Which I'm almost more than certain I do have. My fear also is that I'm just lazy.....or not getting enough sleep :/
he also teaches spiritual pluralism, which is the belief that all path are correct
Check out work by Thomas Moore. He has a series on the soul, and he invites the reader to
Thanks I just read a few articles written by him. The view he holds that our society is overly sexualized not because we are sexually liberated but because we still haven't developed a notion of mature sexual understanding makes great sense.
i feel like you're inside my brain.
ADHD, a label for not being able to perform to somebody else's concept of how that "should" be in...I'm a bit OCD, perhaps a bit ADHD, at times highly motivated and focussed, other times procrastinating or just feeling a need for rest...that's just how it rolls...the waves ebbs/flows/nature...it's liberating to just be...if finding out more about ADHD helps you understand more it's all good...self acceptance of being different is ok! We're not all meant to fit in the same boxes...
Oh no totally, I think ADHD whether i turn out to have it or not is a blessing. It's only when your trying to fit yourself into the rigid lines of a system that does not cater for you where it appears to be an issue. I love my hyper-activity, well at least now that I realise that it doesn't necessarily mean I'm crazy or weird, and there's a reason for it. Whilst gaining an understanding on how to be more focused so I can actually produce and create something with the abundance of stuff swimming around in my head would be greatly welcomed!
Just letting you know, you don’t have to keep saying your videos are going on to long. Let me decide that as a viewer, if I click on a video thats 15 mins, and I enjoy the topic, then I am far more likely to watch it to the end, but if I find it boring or disinteresting I will click off of it. No hate, just some advice, I do enjoy watching your videos, and learning more about myself, and other peoples INFJ experiences, and how it relates to my own.
Are you familiar with Neville Goddard teachings? I think you would benefit from them. He claims that you are the only person in the world with free will and that everbody you meet in your life and how they act towards you is a co-product of your self dialogue. Everything exist in your imagination, you are the only conscious being in your version of reality, when you change your beleive about something or someone internally it starts to change on the external (people starts to act differently out of blue, it explains how "miracles" works and how healing works, it explains why some people are lucky). Neville Goddard teachings are based on the Bible, but they don't have a lot to do with a trafitional christianity, Neville teached that people in the Bible were just methapors of different human states of consciousness.
I agree that blogging would be a good way to go about it. I am not very sure but I guess a simple way would be through blogger.com or wordpress.com. Nice video btw
Hello Tom, Somebody probably thought you were cute not being able to say "specifically." (And you're still cute!) Start to say, "spell" or "special" instead and then you can say it. I really liked your toxic shame video and hoping you'll follow up with that. TY
BLOGGING TIP:
Use Wordpress. Super easy to blog. You can find all kinds of places to host a WP blog, some for free even, but if you want your own domain name and you want the best, I use and recommend WPEngine: thrl.in/wpengine
Thanks for everything Tom! 🙏
fuck yes im so on the same page about all of this
Hope i know u in real life, you are a real person.
This feels like self-actualization...
Where’s the blog!
i experinced all what toms talking about by accident. before that i was what i thought to be 100% atheist and trying to view everything as logical, humans arent logical.
Thanks for the video. What resources do you reccommend for shadow work? Do you do it on your own or with a therapist?
What you've said here (minus the chakras etc) is pretty much in line with Freud's ideas on the repressed animal nature being manifested through neuroticism. Obviously, the man was by and large obsessed with a very particular side of this very human nature (libido), but taken with a pinch of salt it sort of makes sense. Is psychology a hobby or have you perhaps formally studied this?
It's just an interest, I've never been to uni or anything. The whole notion of having a repressed primal nature (id) makes complete sense to me and I agree with a lot with Freud's theories, however I find myself more drawn towards Jung and the direction he was headed in. Yet what fascinates me the most is that although a person can develop complete knowledge of all of this intellectually they can still be held spellbound by and subjugated to their own inner energies and drives when they arise. Which is why I feel that personal experience of such matters practiced in an 'aware' and 'unashamed' state of consciousness yields the greatest results in achieving personal freedom and knowledge of one's self. Spiritual traditions that involved a practical element such as meditation were the way this was achieved traditionally yet it seems impossible to separate the benefits of such practice from belief systems and superstitions that cause conflict and disagreement. The work of Freud and Jung has provided a more modern scientific understanding but it's how to resolve these issues in a secular society that is still riddled with centuries old shame that has remained tightly hidden in the shadows.
I have a very limited understanding of the many spiritual traditions that have been around for millennia but it seems to me that it is fairly easy to interpret something as 'shapeless' as spirituality whichever way one pleases, it can be often deemed 'everything' and 'nothing' at the same time. But as I said, my knowledge and exposure to this field is limited. Psychology on the other hand, is somewhat shady as a science, since the proof of any theory will be fairly inconclusive. But that's the best we have, unfortunately, and at least it induces, hopefully, a degree of critical thinking serving as second opinion, which we also, in my view, should not blindly accept as a given. Having said that, you are doing a great job in explaining these states and are very insightful with regards to the underlying mechanisms - this may be challenging to test empirically but I am sure people can relate. Keep it up, Tom :)
Hi Tom, when you say that we need to release everything to get to spirituality, what if you hurt someone when you release negative emotions, like anger?
Well that would be when your 'overtaken' by anger and when your overtaken by an emotion you can't learn from it because you lose your consciousness of it and it becomes you. So what I mean is finding a place, either alone or with a safe group of people where you can explore these emotions in a way where you can express them yet also learn about what lies behind them. The reason a lot of people carry so much anger inside is because they believe that expressing anger is wrong, which ironically just makes them more angry and eventually such anger boils over in way that can hurt others.
Like I mention in the video Religious concepts such as 'Sin' can make this even worse "Oh no I lost my temper I'm bad and need to pray for forgiveness" It's this toxic shame we carry towards our own emotional expressions and our unwillingness to take responsibility for it that causes us the most pain, yet it's this understanding that will free people. Our society is so shame based that the only way most people feel they can cope with their emotions is through repression or distractions, otherwise your just viewed as crazy and need to see a shrink. There seems to be no middle ground, no recognition that emotional intelligence would make more people happy, more happy than being stuck in the never ending chase of material gain. Which is maybe why it's all glossed over, because it might prove to be a stick in the wheel of our capitalist system, 'Happy people make bad consumers', so it's the you as the individual that has to take the first step, then more will follow suit yet to do so requires great bravery and courage.
This is very interesting concept, and I totally agree with you. That self-awareness work shouldn't only be about the positive aspects but also the "hidden" or "shameful" too...but this is too taboo for society at the moment.
Do you find that as an INFJ, you can also be too aware and worried about how others might react to your negative emotions, using your Fe too much. eg when you wanted to say, "I am angry you took my lollies!" but realize that they may get upset at you for accusing of them taking your lollies...and then you start to feel bad about it, (while all this takes place inside your head, and the opportunity for you to express your anger is gone)
How should an INFJ (or over active Fe) go about this dilemma and feel ok about expressing shadow self?
Oh no if people take my lollies I lose my shit!! Ain't no escaping my wrath, that's just a line you don't cross!
Jokes aside I completely understand your concern and to be honest it was this same frustration that led me to start getting involved with shadow work, I've always suffered with the 'too nice' syndrome and my Fe is overly accommodating even among people that tick me off. There's no quick fix it's a combination of developing more self awareness, working on your emotional expression and also placing enough value on yourself so as to not spend so much time around people who may 'drain' you. This alone will breed confidence and assertiveness because your actually taking an action that proves to yourself that you won't take lolly thieving lightly! ; )
Thanks for the tips. Will guard those lollies well :)
there is a documentary on here called Happiness Machines the Century of Self that I think you'd like :) its like 58+ min long
ADD equates to soul.
What do you think of ENFJs, Tom?
Funny you should ask I've been thinking about making a video about ENFJs in comparison to INFJs, maybe it's time to do so.
Haha yes! Please do
You can blame technology as well.
Hello Thomas
Hello James