I had a damn good childhood. I had parents who made certain i didn't want for anything. I was given freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. BUT... I had a kid i was kind of friends with (I wish I was more of a real friend to him). He was neglected. He almost always was wearing dirty clothes and almost never had a real lunch to eat. He was picked on in school to the point that it was depressing to watch. This was at 8-9 years old. I was a bit of an outcast and kept my distance at school to avoid being picked on myself. He hung himself at the age of 9. I think about him any time people talk about standing up for others, I wonder if he'd still be alive had I had the courage to say stand up with/for him. Could I have saved him? Am I as much to blame? I feel like i am sometimes.
Ben Heffel that's a real difficult situation, I don't think you can be that hard on yourself considering your age, you were far too young to understand.
When I read your story, I thought about myself since I try to be friends with all of outcasts since I know they may or may not have any real friends, thank you for bringing this up
Ben Heffel DO. NOT. FEEL. BAD. You were nine. They dont teach nine year olds about child abuse. They teach teachers. It is the esucators fault for not stepping in or notifying someone, they had every oppurtunity to. YOU WERE NINE.
My childhood was kind of weird since I was an army brat. We only lived places like six months at a time. So, my mom and my big brother became my only friends. We were insanely close, they were literally my entire world. Then we were stationed abroad, mom got a job, and it was just me and my big brother a lot of the time. So when puberty hit him and he didn't want an annoying little sister hanging around anymore, I was crushed. Until he started touching me. It took me seven years, until I was thirteen to discover that letting him touch me in exchange for playing a board game or riding our bikes was wrong. Once I started resisting our friendship was lost, but the abuse stopped. I haven't told a soul about this, and I probably never will. I'll just let it drown in the thousands of comments on a video - this way someone, somewhere knows what happened. For some reason that helps.
Silje & all those who know the same, a7i20ci7y if only you could know... it is the SHAME that destruction happens. Working as a drug & alcohol counselor in the recovery field, I was confronted with over half my clients who dealt with issues of this type. In my own research I found the behavior common. There were so many examples of experimental sibling & cousins, relatives & the most damaging into adulthood 100% of the time (When similar in ages, experimentation is normal, not to be confused with a vast disparity in age range or power, such as a parent or authority figure ie a betrayal of trust. Our culture & religions make it, taboo as an open conversation.) is not being able to talk about it. Sort out the feelings, desires, the fact that it felt good & there is pleasure involved. A host of emotions & complex aspects of our human chemistry that we aren't encouraged to share with one another without judgement. This doesn't have to be the act that guides your subconscious into the rest of your adult life. There are safe people, who you can open up with & create. Write. Draw. Paint. Whatever you do that brings you joy, it will help you sort the journey to the other side. PLEASE, know how not alone you are. Peace ~
I grew up in a family that was misinformed on how to eat properly. I now at 24 found myself at 395 lbs. and decided i needed to make a change. 9 months ago i started that journey, i am down 70 lbs and wont ever stop. We all face our past in our future.
I was sexually abused growing up, and I didn't tell anyone until like 3 years ago. my abuser is in prison now.. but my family is completly divided... I lost so many people when I finally stood up.. having to walk into a court room to testify, and see my family sit on his side of the court room behind him because they thought he needed more support then I did was the most heartbreaking thing... still to this day half my family wont talk to me because my abuser had a lot of money, and his money was more important to them then what happened to me. When people who have known my family and stuff for a long time tell me when they find out, that they saw all these signs and that they knew the whole time.... it hurts so much! if you knew then why didn't you help me? why didn't anyone help?.. I feel so bad for that little kid, and I'm so glad that people are standing up for him. if you ever feel like a child is being abused, please speak up. I don't care how awkward it is, or how much you don't want to get involved.. if you turn the other way and don't say anything, I can promise you that when that child grows up, they are going to wonder why you didn't care enough to speak up for them.
Thank you for sharing your story. You're strong as hell and I hope you know that. The people who didn't speak up are just as complicit (at least in my mind) as the people who hurt you. My mother was beaten by her father and her mother, to this day (I'm talking 40 years later) says that my mom is just "exaggerating". I think it has to do with the fact that if these people admit that they saw something and looked the other way, they're monsters too. And admitting that is just hard and awful and most people don't want to admit that kind of thing. You're stronger than the monsters. You've killed those dragons, and you're free now.
you did the right thing. not only for you but for the others this person has hurt or would have hurt. these things dont happen in a vacume. someone else knew eathet because they saw or because it happened to them to. I sometimes think about when I was touched ( I dont know how to else say it) and this other kid got it so much worse. maby if I had said something I could have stopped it
I'm so sorry for what happened to you, may I say something? That other part of the family isn't your really family. Why? They're fucking greedy, why would they not care about you? A real person who cost more then money. Who's more important because they'll have more memories of you then money. That's not a real family. The real family is someone who cares about you no matter what.
I grew up with a dad who was (and mostly is) an alcoholic and also very emotionally and verbally abusive. I remember there were times when he would just go on yelling rampages and my brother was just a little guy and I felt like I had to protect him. We'd just cry until he stopped. Then there were the nights I'd hear him and my mom just yelling like CRAZY! It was terrifying. He would hit her and my mom would be crying and yelling. And he'd say the same thing as those kids in the video "At least I don't hit you." It's messed up my relationships, it's completely tarnished my relationship with my father. I still have a lot to heal from but I can safely say I heal a little more every year.
I think every abuser says that. "At least I don't ___". I was supposed to be grateful that they didn't beat me, only hit me. I was supposed to be grateful that they supposedly only hit me when I deserved it and it "wasn't that hard". That I could only be abused if I was being beaten until I was bloody and bruised and/or when I did nothing wrong.
Shayla Contla This is so true. My dad would tell me and my family all them time "There are worst parents than me" or "I've never hit you", but he was still mental and verbally abusing me and my family. Just because you don't physically harm someone, doesn't mean you're not hurting them. And I think most abusers use those excuses as a shield because the abused ones don't know any better and doubt themselves.
damn, im so sorry to hear that. when i grow up, im not gonna go near beer anyways. I've seen so many ways that it can affect somebody aswell as the rest of their family.
Boogie, I don't normally comment and if you read this I'd be so happy...those kids when they said, "At least they don't get beat," makes me think of my own story. Until I started therapy a year ago I didn't know that my childhood was abnormal. I was spoiled, my parents were alive but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. My mom was addicted to painkillers, my dad abusing food. They were overprotective of me (still are) and are dependent on me for a lot of things because of sheer laziness and their own denial. I learned from therapy that yeah, I didn't have the most horrific childhood but it was still hard to deal with. It still hurt. I learned that there are red flags that should have caused concern. To hear you tell me that I deserve a happy ending really lifts my spirits. I needed to hear that. I really did. Thank you, Boogie. You're wonderful.
A good prank is like a long joke. You get drawn in, confused, and at the end you laugh. It isn't someone yelling abuse at you and then saying "I didn't mean it" at the end.
@Serpentine Alpha males admit when they cry and feel no shame in it. And its the ones who pretend to be an alpha male are the opposite. So, You sir are a true bitch. =]
I had an absent father. I was severely bullied. I had an alcoholic parent. I was kicked out of my home. I moved a lot and never stayed in the same home for more than 3 years. I was beaten. I was tied to a chair and had my hair cut. I had an abusive stepmother. Someone killed my cat to make me cry. I was abducted. I was forced to watch a friend of mine getting beat up by his father. My best friend and aunt killed herself the day before my coming of age ceremony. I self-harmed. I was engaged to someone who cheated on me with several of my close friends. I was placed in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks. I tried to kill myself. My happy ending? I have a bachelor degree in child protective services to make sure I can stop this from happening to anyone else. Take all that pain and suffering and forge it into something better, because I am living proof; You can achieve great things even if you're handed a bad stack of cards. Things will get better, I promise.
Simon Pettersen I just hope you don't automatically assume every situation is abuse and remove children from parents that are trying their best. My wife's aunt came up to us, demanded my wife give custody of our oldest (because the youngest meant nothing?) or she would contact cps and have both kids removed, her cousin then threatened my life. She refused cps later investigated us. The allegations were physical/mental abuse. Because when our (softball playing) girls talk back they get 5 push-ups. We make them do chores and clean their own rooms. The oldest later admitted to telling her aunt she was abused because she hates her school, and because we don't let our girls date, have phones, or social media. Cps sent us a letter that we received on Christmas Eve stating that the allegations were unfounded. So please don't make snap judgements, if you really care about kids, snap judgements won't help. I can relate to wanting to help. I'm trying to get into law school so I can work as a prosecutor and then volunteer my time as a child advocate. Especially since my state no longer has a child advocacy program.
I'm the daughter of two extremely loving and supportive parents. Though I have severe depression they have always been there for me and supported me in my darkest days. What makes this amazing is that both of them grew up in abusive households. My mom was mental, emotionally, physically and sexually abused, my dad went through the same but not sexually abused. When they got married and before they had kids they had a long discussion on what kind of parents they would be and how they would break the cycle. They went on to have four children. All of us know that we are loved, supported, and have parents that will always be there if we need them. The reason I am sharing this is because I hope that their story gives someone hope for their future, and that they themselves can have the family they wish for. It won't be easy, my parents had to go through therapy to deal with what happened to them and to create parenting strategies, but it was worth it. They created a beautiful family with an environment of love, acceptance and laughter. That can be yours too.
That's a really cool story. - It's like your folks were taught how NOT to parent, and they made good use of it. That's a lovely silver lining for folks to think about when it comes to having children of their own, thanks for sharing. I grew up with a lot of harships and abuse, and I get inspired by folks who speak about it done right. :)
Yeah I had a similar situation, two amazing parents, a mother who was raised in an intense sibling abuse situation, and a dad who survived a neglectful childhood that included drugs addiction, being used and mental disease. Even though we were poor, my parents were absolutely golden. I like to think my parents tried very hard to not be their parents, while focusing on what they thought we needed as we got older (like being stricter on grades or dating, while letting us have relative freedom and a lack of curfew at 18 as well as actually trusting us to make the right decisions as they worked us up to more and more "adultness") The result was that I feel like I not only grew stronger from the struggles of being poor (and thus learned what not to do in regards to education and finance) but also learned how to actually parent. I don't think too many people can say that and its a gift I'm eternally grateful for. I'm glad that more people actually had this kind of experience, especially since I never really saw it from friend's families growing up. I gained a little bit for hope today. Thank you.
Some mental diseases are genetic, if you come from "extremely loving and supportive parents" and you're still fucked up then you must have rolled poorly on the character creation screen. Better reset game and roll again. kek
Don't blame yourself! My father and my aunt were both abused by my grandparents, but my aunt decided to break the cycle. However, my cousin and I are both very similar in thought process. While she is far more open than I am and will defend herself and show emotion, we both get depressive episodes. Her mother also had to be institutionalized where my father was still able to function in society. Your families genes can play a huge part in your mental state. And your story did give me hope. My current bf often worries that he won't be a good father because he doesn't want to accidentally be like his father. We've both agreed that we will not have children until we are both mentally stable and happy so we can love our child will all our heart.
um... I don't want this to come off as searching for pity, but I want to share my story in solidarity with Boogie. So, I lost my dad was I was 4. Cancer. It really sucked. My mom was never the same after that. She quickly remarried my step dad, who I love. Within a year, I was sexually abused by my step-brother and step-cousin. Repeatedly. It was awful. My mother is verbally and mentally abusive as well, and it made our home life really shitty. Then, two years ago, I was falsely accused of sexual assault. It was a really dark part of my life. I'm much better now, and having been to therapy I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But living through that kind of shit is hard. Thank you for reading, if you did. It felt good to get all of that out.
Its hard to defend yourself when you don't have loving parents. I'm sorry you have to pass for all this. Hope you're safe now, if not please tell it to someone you know loves you and care about you. Aunt, grandma, neighbor, someone you think is gonna help you.
You should try harder to connect with real people in addition to utube. You seem to be seeking validation and like-minded people. Problem is with utube, it seldom leads to a real, face-to-face interaction with a bonafide human being. Good luck.
Boogie, the trauma you've experienced and the stories you've shared with us are not in vain. These videos help keep me going. My parents were abusive and neglectful. I've been struggling with my mental health since I was very young, and when I started self harming as a teen, my dad mocked me for it. The only time my parents touched me or my sisters, it was to slap us or pull our hair. Once my dad sat on my little sister's chest and covered her mouth. Being raised like this killed my self worth. When I was eighteen, I got away from my parents as quickly as I could, moving in with a guy I'd only known for a few weeks. He was abusive. Mentally, emotionally, and sexually. But I had nowhere else to go. I stayed for over two years. We were impoverished, I was grossly underweight, malnourished, demoralized, defeated. I'm 24 now, and even though I haven't seen him for four years, I'm still trying to cope with that abuse. Lately it just replays over and over in my mind and I obsess over it. I don't know how to deal with it. I've struggled with drug usage and have attempted suicide as a result. Now I'm attending therapy a minimum of 3 hours a week, and am medicated. I'm fighting and trying as hard as I can to get past all this. Your words mean a lot, Boogie.
You are so amazing and strong and i tip my hat to you for overcoming all of that. Medicine is hard and it can kick your ass but I'm sooo happy you're getting help and you deserve a happy story and ending, even though there will always be bumps. Hope you have a good day and life dear!
keep it up. things will get better. some day you will be with some one who deserves you and can relate to you. it may take a while but there are still good people in this world and you deserve to be loved. just remember you can be anyone you want. you can change anything you want. use the past to drive you. be determined to be happy and have a good life. and know that you are capable of love and there are people out there who love or are willing to love you. Also the things that have happened to you are NOT your fault. you didn't choose any of that. that is not normal and you don't deserve any of that. you deserve better. Be a fighter and use your past to inspire others. God loves you.
Xx BigBoss xX how could you say that? There must be something wrong with you. This person is going through something and the least decent thing you could do is respect that. Please think about what you comment online, it could seriously do harm to anyone in the future.
My dad was real abusive when i was young. He neglected my sisters and I, he screamed at us over the littlest shit, punched holes in walls and beat us. He used to dangle my sisters when they were babies over railings, threatening to drop them while I begged him not to drop them, and I have a severe fear of heights because of it. I was so afraid of him, I wouldnt speak up when I saw my sisters getting hurt by him, though it happened once where I came home from school to see my sister getting spanked and she was screaming and crying and I finally got the balls to stop it. I bit him, scratched him, fought him with all my 8 year old self had to get him off her. My mom never once tried to help us. She would just watch and cry. Never once did she do anything to fix it. I had to push for the divorce, I had to protect my sisters, and I have a hard time forgiving her for that. The good thing I can say came from it all was after the day I fought back against him, I wasn't afraid anymore. And I refuse to let myself be.
Awesome that you were able to stand up to that prick you unfortunately had to call "dad." Very metal \m/ Hope he was arrested or some form of justice was enacted other than just divorce.
I don't know why this made me tear up I never cry. I guess I try to protect my sisters from everything and it hurts when I fail so I understand what you went through on that level. I'm so unbelievably happy you had the courage to protect your sister at a young age. Thank you so much for just existing
boogie is the realest person i know, the most accomodating and kind youtuber. brings a tear to my jaded eyes to know he had such a rough childhood. Fucking amazing.
Same, i wish i could've done something to prevent what happened to him, but i was probally not alive when it happened and i live on the other side of the world. Its so unfair, at least he is happy now and getting better day by day.
I had an abusing father, the one time I tried to defense myself at age 10 my father hit me so hard he K.Od me and misplaced my jaw, My mom left him because he cheated on her, and recently I knew he died some time ago, I'm 31 years old and I don't wanna have kids of my own because I have anger issues and I fear that I could become the same "monster" my dad was to me
Manuel Del rivero bro I'm 19 and Ive always suffered from anxiety and anger issues, and when I was 16 I ended actually doing something with a girl, which for me was rare because I was always to pussy to even ask a girl out, she for some reason just genuinely liked me and me and her had sex but because we both didn't really know what we were doing she got pregnant and the one time I actually do something with a girl I like it goes the worst way possible, but we dealt with it and despite having them issues she helped me get the anxiety for the most part away, and as for the anger issues I've never once felt the need to hit or do anything like that to my child because it's all love, my dad suffered from anger issues too and he never got violent to me, it's all about keeping it in control bro and my girlfriend did that for me, people like your father who are abusive most probable do it from a mixture of things, like alcohol, maybe drugs, not keeping anger in control and just not finding love for their kids, like you said he cheated, you don't have to be like your father everyone's different, you should be proofing to yourself that you can be twice the man he ever was instead of shying away form ever doing that, and if you do ever then violent just remind yourself of how you'd feel if you were the person you were being violent to, how you would be scared If you were them
I've had a very good life. Parents were fantastic, father yelled at me when I fucked up but otherwise was a good dad and still is a good dad. Unfortunately depression hit me when I was being bullied at school. Parents separating didn't help. Depression got so bad I attempted suicide twice. I still deal with it to this very day. Ultimately what made me not suicidal anymore was that my family would be torn asunder if I killed myself. My family has fantastic lives and I don't want them to be fucked up for the rest of their lives and share the same mentality as me because I killed myself. They deserve better, and luckily that's the only thing that made me want to live, my family. Unfortunately for others they don't have that comfort and I am so sorry for those of you that don't have that anchor. I really am. Stay safe everyone and cherish each day like it was your last.
Man! It might sound cheesy, but it get's better!!! Join groups, find new activities, try to meet new people and dump those from your life who hurt you. Don't be afraid to begin new things, move to a new place.... Just try to change your life. Maybe you not gona be happy right away, but its better than nothing
what an awesome post. I'm in a similar situation.. and just thinking about my family having to deal with my suicide stop me from doing it. I dont want my parents thinking wrong of themselves about what they did wrong that got me to this point. They dont deserve this. Nobody does.
bob bobby everything will be ok just think about everything good I know that sounds dumb but it's true. O have not experienced what you are going through but I know this "what ever you do never give up on yourself" that is a promise you have to make yourself:) I hope is have helped the slightest bit . :) have a aAMAZING AMAZING DAY.
I grew up with verbally and physically abusive parents, mostly my mother. My father just yelled mostly and he knew how she treated us but he did not care, my grandma also knew and little to nothing about it. My two earliest memories are (1) being two years old and my uncle giving me a stuffed animal, and (2) my parents having sex in the bed next to mine knowing I was wide awake. I was afraid from the noises and the stuff I saw so I cried and called for them. She came over to my bed and gave me a slap in the face and showed me her first and told me to shut up or I will get it. Throughout my whole childhood they did that in front of me, I still have nightmares about it and needless to say I knew what sex was at an early age. They would also watch pornographic movies in front of me. Very explicit ones, I knew a lot of things a kinder gardener should not have to know. She would also openly discuss their sexual interactions and talk about other peoples sexual interactions with the intention of making me uncomfortable and then beat me for being such a perv and listening to her. Ever since I can remember (2 years old) my mother beat me every single day until I was 16, then it was more of a now and then kind of thing. She would not feed us properly, she locked me in a closet for telling my grandma how she treated us, at nine years old she encouraged me to become anorexic and I did for many many years (I have health problems because of that now) she also knew that I made myself throw up and cut myself but she did not care. She said that as long as my dad did not find out it was ok. She used to beat me with a steel toe work boot on my back (I have had chronic back pain ever since) she would make us kneel in bare cement in our bare knees for hours on end. I remember passing out from it in one occasion. By the time we were allowed to get back up our legs were numb and it cramped, it would hurt when the blood could finally flow into the rest of the leg, it would also pop in a painful way like if the knee would have locked out of place (I am still not sure why that happened exactly). I too thought it was normal. She has told us numerous times that we are the biggest mistakes she has ever done and that we ruined her life and she wishes she could have kicked us out into the street and never hear from us again. She has made comments like that in rage ever since I can remember. She choked us, put pillows over our heads, she would have us (elementary and kinder children) clean the backyard (which contained poisonous herbs and scorpions and tarantulas) under the scorching heat with no sunblock and no caps and unless she was in a 'good' mood we were not allowed to drink water. She would beat us with her closed fist, throw us to the ground, to the wall, lock us outside in the middle of the night (we lived in a very rural area, I am talking about there were wild animals and we had only two neighbors). She once cracked open the head of my toddler sibling because he was being potty trained and could not yet wipe himself. When my father insisted that she teach us how to ride a bike she would toss us to the ground and beat us when we could not maintain ourselves straight. And if we fell she would kick and pin us down. She knew when and where to do it though, in public you would have never guessed it from her, but behind closed doors, at home, in the car, under the table, whispering in our ears, she was making us miserable. She would tell my siblings and I things about each other and make us fight each other, and it pains me so much but the truth is that we as siblings were horrible to each other as well. That was all we knew, we thought it was the norm. We said horrible things to each other and beat each other in the same violent matter as she did. We stopped when we realized things were not ok but it still happened for many years. Then we tried to defend each other from her but I mean, we were just kids. This is just half of the story, there are some other things which I do not even wish to talk about. When I saw the abusive parents video I saw myself in Cody, I saw my siblings in Cody, I saw his frustration, embarrassment, anger, sadness, I saw his need for love and care. It brought back so many memories that I have been suppressing for two years now. I do not have anything else to say but thank you @boogie2988 for making this video and sharing your encouraging words.
That is abhorrent. It is disgusting that she would put you through that. My mother went through a similar thing when she was growing up. My grandmother, the abuser now denies anything even happened, even though she has admitted it to me years ago when I was about 10. I recently found out my mum tried to kill herself last year because grandma kept denying it ever happened and that was really getting to her and preventing her from moving forward. For decades they had just kept their distance from each other and not talked about it at all but her psychologist recommended she confront her about it. Now I refuse to talk to my grandma at all, which is sad because she is getting older but she is still emotionally abusing mum in a way by denying it ever happened so good riddance as far as I'm concerned. Your mother deserves nothing from you after what you have been put through
I am so sorry to hear that about your mother, and thank you for your kind words. My mother accepts and justifies what she did one day and then on another day she completely denies it so I can imagine how frustrating it is. I hope your mother finds closure.
I ended up removing my full name from UA-cam because I got paranoid that she might see it and confront me. I feel better after letting it all out and sharing it with people who do not know me personally without fear of judgement. I am now in college and saving almost every penny I can so I can move out and help my siblings do the same. If I can then you can too, hopefully. I always saw education as a way to escape so I have hopes that it will soon pay off as well as my part time job so i can move as far away as possible. To everyone taking the time to read and comment, thank you so much. Like I said, there is a certain comfort in sharing this with people who do not know me.
I'm in my 40's now, and it's been a long time since I've had a serious, hard flashback to being a little kid, listening to my mother being abused, but listening to Phil on the way home yesterday nearly made me pull over (I listens to youtube videos on my phone on the way home, like they are podcasts) and even though I wasn't watching the video, I still nearly had a flashback, just from listening. I got physically sick. I cannot believe anyone would do that to their kid and not know it's abuse. That mother is the absolute worst. I cannot believe the things she says to her children in the name of pranking someone. And I can't believe there are people who would defend them.
I'm in my early 30's and I JUST posted on Phil's video that this flared up some old PTSD. See my name? Hearing the way they spoke to that kid, felt like listening to an excerpt from my own past. It's interesting to see that I wasn't the only one.
This whole thing is sad as hell. It makes me feel a bit better knowing that even though we can't change the past for you and everyone else who's had a bad childhood, hopefully we can help these kids and any others like it. Aside from seeing people being able to come together through common experiences, it's the only bit of good I can think of that comes from this.
Bettie Turner I almost puked, I could feel it. I can see flash backs too sometimes. Very few, but it's I guess just something I have to deal with. I empathize with you. :)
I was sexually abused growing up.. My sister did it to me over and over for about three years before she got in a position where she couldn't anymore. My parents didn't find out until I was 16 (10 years after it happened). The first thing they did was make sure I was okay and they held me until I stopped crying. The second thing they did was text my sister and tell her she was no longer to be a part of our family. I've been so fortunate to have what I have. And even though I don't have that happiness and fulfillment yet, I have faith that I will.
I grew up a military brat, and while things weren't perfect I know my parents always tried their best. my farther would get angry and yell sometimes, but nothing mean. he was just loud. My wife however (who died in an accident last November) has told me countless stories of what she went through as a child. The thing that stood out the most (and there was a lot) was how her uncle sexually abused her and her mother refused to believe her. Some years later it happened to her half brother as well. Then is high school she was raped and her mother took the rapists side. She had a history of self harm, because it made her feel more real, more legitimate. that her pain was real. One day when we were still just friends in college, she texted me saying she might not be coming tomorrow, that she might have cut too deep. I told her I'd make sure to get any work she might miss and she should bandage and clean herself up and just rest. She was expecting to be judged, to be called dumb. She came to school the next day just to show me that she made it through the night. Even after we were married she struggled, I found her drunk in the bathroom one night with the kitchen knife trying to cut vertically down her arm. Thank god our knives were dull. She was having flash backs to being abused by get uncle, of her rapists face, of her mother screaming at her. I held her there, told her I couldn't live in a world she chose to leave. I told her I know there is nothing I can do to take away the pain, but I would do everything I could to make the future better. From then on she would come to me if she had thoughts, I would leave work early for her. Slowly they stopped being as frequent. She had more "glow" to her. I don't really have a message with any of this. I just miss her. I just really hope I actually helped her, that the happiness she found was real before the end.
You have helped her. You did more than you could possibliy do to help her, but the damage on her health was already done, and for all the help you could muster, she wasn't in the right mind to get that help. I know it sounds like i'm berating her for that, i'm not. Sometimes being victim of abuse, of any kind, damages us in ways that it's unfixable. She married you, she seeked you for help, she talked to youa bout her most fears and pains. To you, and anyone else, because she knew you would be there for her. It is not your fault not being able to fix what her abusers have damaged, and nonone knows what better could ahve been done. Don't doubt, EVER, that things could've gone differently. Don't doubt EVER that you didn't enough. There should be more people like you that actually and actively DO something instead of just acknowledge and turn head around to not see what's happening. I am sorry for your loss, and none of my words could even get closer to make you feel better, i know. But know that: a strenger from the internet, hearing bits of your story, and having himself going thru similar mental health problems is telling you: THANK YOU for who you are.
I am crying while reading your story. The fact that she told you all this is in my eyes the evidence that you helped a lot. You believed her, and that is way more than her closest family did for her. You were there for her.
I wasn't expecting such nice comments. Honestly when I posted this I thought that I was rambling and would just annoy everyone. Thank all of you. A couple things that I feel like I would misunderstand if I was reading what I said. She died in an accident and didn't take her life in the end. What a twist of fate... I know I helped her, it's just I still wonder if maybe I could have done more to make her more happy. I don't know like get her a pony or some shit. (A bit of an exaggeration) It doesn't help the month of October I had to work 60-70 hour weeks, so I have this regret that I didn't spend enough time with her. It's hard not to want more time when they're gone. But I'm starting to ramble again hijacking a conversation topic with my own...
my mother was bipolar, alcoholic, and unmedicated, and my father was a meth-addicted sociopath. he had abandoned his other two children and though my mom left him when i was four, she only stayed with him that long because she was so afraid he would abandon me, too. i lived with her most of the time in an apartment. she had a violent and unpredictable temper, and was often too depressed, drunk, or hungover to really be there for me. i stayed with my dad on weekends while he slept off meth binges and i sat in the living room alone, too afraid of his temper to ask for food or wake him up when i was upset. both parents were incredibly neglectful and emotionally and verbally abusive, and my father often told me that he'd love to beat me if he didn't think he'd get in trouble for it. my relationship with my mother was volatile and strained. we had blowout fights every few days starting when i was around seven or eight, and then her boyfriend became a steady figure in our lives. he was an alcoholic pill addict and they often fought about me, fights i would listen in on and panic over. i hardly ever slept and i binge ate to cope. dad went from girlfriend to girlfriend and couch to couch, still on meth and with the same violent unpredictability my mom had. i didn't feel safe anywhere, and my grades suffered because of it, which only gave them more reason to be upset with me. i started dissociating to handle stress, and it became a constant state; i don't remember hardly any of my childhood, and have had to have it explained to me because of this. i'm still working to break myself of the habit. my father sobered up when i was about 10 but wasn't any better to me. he was still angry and loud and violent, constantly threatening me and never apologizing for the things he did. life carried on. when i was 13 or so my mother was put on abilify, which made her MUCH more stable, though our relationship was still broken. i had been consistently failing classes since 3rd grade, which was a huge strain on our relationship; everyone thought i was lazy, but i was trying as hard as i could. i just couldn't focus because of my dissociation and the stress at home. when i was 14 i told her i was suicidal and i was checked into a behavioral health system, and though it was scary, it gave us a chance to sit down and evaluate where we both were. she started to see things from my point of view and has spent the years since then vehemently fighting to give me a better life and to make up for the time we spent hurting. i came out to my parents in my later teens. my mother has been a strong and consistent ally, but my father has never supported it, going as far as to make passing jokes about beating or killing me for it. only recently have i realized how badly the rejection really hurt me, but my mother has made up for it tenfold in her love and support. my father has never acknowledged or apologized for how he treated me. he has spent my entire childhood lying to me and manipulating me and the people i care about. just last night, my mother finally got the chance to explain to me that all the abuse i had internalized from him wasn't my fault; he's a liar, a manipulator, and likely won't ever care about the hurt he's caused. this morning, i made the decision to cut him out of my life, at least for the time it takes me to come to terms with how he hurt me. tonight, youtube recommended me this. i think it was fate that i could watch this video today, after what a big step it's really been. it means so much more than i can say to hear about how we all can have a happy ending, and i think i'm really getting there. i'm going to graduate high school next month, something i thought i'd never do. i have a strong and incredible relationship with my mother, a great support system, and an incredible boyfriend. i'm back on medication and much stable for it. i'm a talented writer, a strong human being, and better than my father ever will be. it's hard and i think it's always going to be, but looking back, i'm in a better place than i ever thought i'd see myself in. i'm happy and i can't wait to see where i grow from here. thank you, boogie. xoxox
I don't know you and never heard of you. I came here from Philip Defranco and I must say... this is such an honest and encouraging video. We get bombarded with so much drama and crap on UA-cam but I loved hearing your story and how you were able to overcome (and still overcome on a daily basis). It's an ongoing battle but as long as you continue to move forward and not let the past overtake you, then you WILL be okay! 😄 Much love and respect from a random stranger, trolling the internet. 😉❤💕
Boogie you inspired my "draw my life" video a few years back. talking your abuse gave me the strength to talk about mine. my life wasn't normal or ideal but my future is brighter and i make sure to have a better relationship with my boys, then i had with my parents. thank you for being honest about this situation, when i watched phil's video i saw nothing funny about how all of those kids especially codie was being treated, if they can do that on camera, in front of millions of people imagine what they are doing to that poor child when they think "no one is watching" I hope CPS goes back and does an even deeper investigation. as children we always try to protect our parents when cps came to our door, i lied and blamed myself for the major ass whooping i got at age 7 smh. i wish i had someone like phil to call out my abuse as well.
Gago Felipe as a parent of a 3yo I was crying watching those vids imagining doing that to my child someday. You're shaping a mind, why would you fuck around with that?? No, it's not hitting or beating, but it does so much damage!
hey Boogie. I wanna start by saying you have the biggest heart on UA-cam. I love you for it. I had an alright childhood until i was about 10 and got brain cancer. I had to be away from my school and everyone. after that I was never able to socially reintegrate. i lost all of my friends. it changed the way I view life. i just couldn't fit in with anyone. so the remaining time i spent living with my family I was in almost complete social isolation. it was hard and I'm still dealing with it today. that's one of my big struggles. Thanks for being who you are Boogie. you make my day better everytime i watch your videos.
calvin0630 I went into social isolation after having back surgery. I was away from school for 3 months. and after not being able to catch up with school work and keeping up with friends it's like I fell off the world.
Today being the second day of crying over this story, I do feel like sharing something. My paremts are both amazing people, just genuine good people and we were all so close. My dad even before I could remember, had cancer, it really hurts that such a good person had to suffer like he did. Nothing was ever hidden from me and I was aware of every hospital appointment, I even held dad's hand when he got medication injections. We could be one of the closest families you could meet. After years and years of treatment like chemotherapy not only battling through it but before going into therapy, shaving of his really long hair and donating it to charity, he still suffered so much. I clearly remember one trip to A&E where he was so dosed up on painkillers and morphine that he could barely talk. The last few days/weeks are still vivid in my head. Spending all his time in a hospital bed, nurses and doctors constantly upping dosage to keep pain low to the point where he lost vision and was just "asleep" until about two weeks later when he died. I had only just turned 12 two months before he died. Not only had I just turned 12 but it was the day before I started at secondary school that he passed away. It really took a year for everything to settle in. But on the one year anniversary of his death, I too shaved my head to support a charity that helped my family during his illness. Yes it did mess me up and give me problems but I'm trying to find ways to get through it. And thank you boogie for sharing your story with all of us
I have a similar story. My mom got sick when I was young, she was finally diagnosed with ALS when I was 10. My brother and I took care of her for almost 7 years before she died two weeks before my 17th birthday. The pain never really leaves, even ten years on. Sorry for your loss.
hey boogie, I want to say that you're awesome, man. I have ptsd from the child abuse I suffered for the first 20 years of my life and I'm really glad that there are people like you and Phil speaking out against it. when I was growing up (a lot like your situation) people knew it was abuse but no one said anything or tried to help me. What you said in this video really struck a chord because your description of how you felt is pretty much verbatim of the way I feel. I wish I could hug you, man. Anyways thanks for being awesome and being you
so many times my dad would say "I don't beat you! you aren't abused!" and for nearly 20 years I believed it. he didn't consider his behavior as abusive. He considered it as discipline. despite the bruises, the welts, the constant fear we had. wearing sweat pants to gym in 90 degree weather. Flinching when people touched us. never being able to accept or love ourselves for who we are and never trusting anyone. it wasn't until I found my husband that I was able to be shown how a human being SHOULD be treated. How I was SUPPOSED to be loved. I thank the gods every day for my husband. Without him I would have never been able to leave. Without him I can guarantee you that I would have taken my own life. and I thank the gods for people like you Boogie. you're amazing, talented, and have a huge heart. I love you, man.
I've been following Boogie for a very long time now, probably since i first started using youtube on a regular basis. I dont watch him everyday but, when i do, he has been one of the biggest inspirations to look up to. I would say i've lived a pretty average life so far but to see someone come out on top like Boogie has is just another driving factor in my life. I hope you get to see this Steven and im so glad/proud of you for posting this video and i hope you keep being you and inspiring people just like me.
Totally relate to this. I went through similar growing up, and had the same thoughts as you; watching TV and saying "why aren't we like those people?" and my parents responses were "Don't be stupid, people aren't really like that! That's not how real life works!" Then the emotional and mental manipulation would come into play, I was very co-dependent and had no friends. I was very isolated and not allowed to do anything outside of home, except for school. Which I did well in. It was a great escape. No yelling or put-downs from the adults there, just praise and I loved that. My report cards would show great grades and great comments and compliments from my teachers, and my parents would scoff sarcastically and say "they must have confused you for another child!" anything to crumble what little self-respect and confidence I may have had, to keep me under thumb. If I tried to better myself, I was told I was acting as if I were 'better than them' and was 'up myself'. It was just so utterly toxic. I would never wish that on anyone.
Also just made it to the end of the video, ill talk about it. Mother major alcoholic to the point of passing out drunk almost every day, it's honestly amazing how she can even wake up in the morning for work. My father divorced her after having a bottle thrown at him and being mentally abused almost every day... i honestly feel bad for my dad because the women he wanted to spend the rest of his days with and die with cheated on him and told him "im taking my children away, none of them love you" and stuff like that. Welp the happy ending of this is that we are moving out in a month but i just have to stand it till the end. thank you Boogie for giving me a place where i can feel happy during the parts of the day my mother isnt around.
Back in 1993. My farther has a schizophrenic episode and committed suicide. Leaving my ptsd suffering mother alone with three children, a 10,6,5 year old. My mother was big into the feminist movement and believed (still does) that men are evil. Now, my brother and I have very different stories, me being the middle child seemed to get the blame for most things that happened around the house, from a window being broken to the family TV no working. Many nights would go by where my mother would tuck my little brother into bed (same room) and tell him she loved him, then turn to me and tell me that I am scum because I am male, with her favourite quote "men like you are scum." Through out my childhood, she would remind me of my genetic short comings (at least from her perspective.) where she would attempt to sell her latest work (a novel) fail, and claim it's because she isn't a man, and all males are scum. This would follow with me being locked in my room on Christmas Day, not fed at night and be forced to get a job when at school to help support her, not to build my future. I am 30 this year and its been 11 years since i left home, in that time i met a woman who really seemed to care for me and actually want me around, we have since had three children (hopefully one more soon fingers crossed) and she has encouraged me to pursue my career choice, which allowed me to quit full time work and study dramatic arts (final year now.) so we talk about happy endings, yes I now suffer from a mental illness (not sure if it is a result or just genetics) but now everything is okay. I haven't spoken to her much since but our lives now are better separated, I am not sure why she did that to me, i don't believe that it was personal. But I do believe that it was circumstance, if it wasn't me it would be my little brother.
Probably genetics since both parents had psychological issues, and hard childhood doesn't help but it's nice to see that you're fighting it, I sincerely hope you will find a way to be at peace with yourself. Scars that parents leave in fact never heal but they can be overgrown if you are strong enough. And I understand the dilemma "is she fucked up because she's sick or she's sick because she's fucked up." but in my experience the disease, mental illness such as depression and other diagnoses truly prevent a person to function in a balanced way - still to display such a blatant disrespect for her own flesh ...This is unforgivable, I don't have to blame someone, I understand they are suffering but if someone is shooting you with a gun, does it really help to know that they suffer and are "not to blame" - while you're bleeding.
Robert Tauzer valid point mate. I am trying, i owe it to my children to be the best me i can be. Where in the past i would display destructive behaviour, i now channel that into my writing in the hope of making stories people can relate too, and be entertained by.
That's an awful childhood, you're tough as fuck getting through that. Best of luck with your writing, maybe I'll read another one of your stories one day:)
When I was young I was periodically sexually exploited by a family member. When I was 15 I told a therapist and they called child services and before I could blink my whole family knew. I thought I was finally gonna get my long awaited "everything's gonna be okay now" hug from my mom but instead she told me I shouldnt have gotten the police involved because what happened was normal. This reframed my flashbacks and made it worse. I was forced to live in my basement, because I refused to live in the door next to my sexual exploiter so i was hidden away while the got to live blame free. I told my parents that I wanted a restraining order. They threw things at me, told me I ruined their family, I was the cause for the pain, never my sexual exploiter. I sow my mom take too many serotonin pills and I couldn't help to think it was my fault. They read about me doing self harm in my diary so they forced me to strip. they looked at me in discussed and dragged me by the leg into a car to go to the hospital so THEY could fix me but all I really needed was a hug from my parents, an acknowledgment that I had suffered but it was always about how my trama ruined THEIR lives. The verbal abuse continued until I decided to force myself to forget how they treated me, to forget the sexual exploitation, forgive and forget. Things are better now because in don't talk about my feelings, but I know I have to reopen this door eventually...I haven't talked about it in two years, I don't know why I'm talking about it now. This kids trauma brought bqck so many memories...I see him developing anxiety like I did, I see him wanting more than anything for it to stop.
I'm sorry you were blamed for something that was never your fault. That your mother thinks that something like that is normal... It breaks my heart. I hope that someday you can be happy.
Wow.... thank you for sharing. I think that's how you should go on and that you are a great person because you made it through and can still talk about this stuff.
Leave that situation as soon as possible and know that you are a great person. you are capable of being happy and being loved. you did nothing wrong and none of that is your fault.
I definitely thought my childhood was normal. Turns out I had some really terrible people in my family and while I'm still struggling with what happened to me even now, I managed to make a hell of a life full of adventure and happiness and love. I made it my goal to make the most I could out of my life, and in the last 9 years I've traveled to 9 different countries, sometimes traveling twice a year. I've been to Mexico 10 times now. I grew up in severe poverty in a trailer park in a small town and never dreamed I could ever go anywhere, and now I've seen so much and been so many places my heart can hardly handle how much it swells when I think about it. I ought to make a video about it all, and how much my travels have meant to me when I spent more than half my life thinking it would be impossible for someone like me. Especially believing I had no future, and that it was normal for women like me to be forced to marry abusive men and never amount to anything.
if you mean that one government harms children then you are wrong, you could say that all of them are at fault for harming children though because all of them have.
Ok, but they are also people who need help too, not other people to tell them they are the scum of the earth. Chances are that they beat those that are weaker than them because they have severe self-esteem issues to begin with.
Both my parents are college educated, and they raised me and my younger brothers very well. They never abused us and punished us not by doing anything physical but by either taking away toys or grounding me. They also never made me sit at the dinner table until I ate everything on my plate, like I was told they were made to do as children. Normal families exist and I was so shocked and emotionally moved after watching sxephil's video today. I really hope that kid gets saved from those abusers.
I am a foster-child, I have lived in three families, I was beaten, I was yelled at, I was locked in my room, I felt helpless, I felt angry, and that anger is something I have to live with trough my whole life, anger protected me from those people, when they hurt me, I got mad and my anger took away my tears, when they beat me when I was six and they gave me punishments, I in the end became immune to what they did to me. Looking at poor Cody, I see myself in him, and that's horrible, since I am a foster-child I guess we all have had issues with families. But this poor child is really in an abusive home and that father has I believed been trough the same thing and he never learned how to act or how to love, what he teaches his children is not how to get a high self esteem, he is learning his children to be quiet even if they right, to not intervene when they see something bad happening to another human being, these children will have problems in their lives cause of that man, he is not making them harder or stronger, he is making them weaker by not giving them a stable ground to stand on.
Sabina Jakupovic I really relate to your story. And I really relate to little Cody too... I hope these parents get help and learn tu deal with what happened to them and stop repeating it.
Wow I am sorry to hear that you were treated that way if it was your foster family that's what's wrong with the system my mother spent the past 10 years or so fostering kids with special needs and it's sad to see how some grew up eating spoiled food or being abused so we made sure they felt wanted and loved every child that came in that home
Hey Boog, I too, had an abusive mother. Luckily for me, she was only emotionally abusive. My father left her while I was only about 10 months old, and I only got to see him every other weekend growing up. She took her toll on me, and it lead me down a very dark, dark path. I'm happy every day that I made it through. Some days I honestly wonder how I did. A lot of people don't understand that these experiences do give us an extremely dark sense of humor. When you stare death in the face, and somehow come out on the other side, you start to laugh at the morbid side of life. I'm glad that .22 misfired and I'm here today to see your videos and watch your streams. You're hilarious and kind, and one day I hope to shake your hand and tell you personally that you brighten my day. Keep spreading the good word, and I'll do my part here just one state over. To everyone else, there can be a happy ending. Change your surroundings, and focus on yourself for a while. Do what it takes for you to be happy. Whatever that may be. I wish you the best, and if you need an ear to vent to, I'm only a PM away. I wish you the best, and I hope you will see that you are worth every bit of effort it takes.
This is a very touch topic for me. I've been through things that I can't even begin to explain. I've encountered trauma, physical and mental abuse and some sexual. I was in foster care since I was 7 because of medical neglect. I understand the pain and suffering people have had throughout life. On top of pain and suffering, I'm a type 1 diabetic and live through that. Statistically, diabetics are 2-3 times more likely to have severe depression than any other illness. I get this, I got taken away from my parents when I was 7, and it was a mess. At one point, I wanted to be a child investigator to stop all of the bad parents and parenting, but I thought I couldn't endure that pain and remind myself how awful someone can be. For all of you out there, I understand and I get what you're going through. Try to stay strong and be there for one another. Love each other despite who they appear to be.
I haven't been through all the abuse you have, but when I was diagnosed with T1D, it was horrible. I was saying stuff in the hospital like, "So, if I take too much insulin, I could die?" and other things. I had to stay an extra day in the hospital because of it. I also started self harming with needles and have been to a psychiatric physicality twice. It's tough being a diabetic and just having depression and abuse makes it worse for you. Like I said before, I'll probably never understand the abuse you went through, but just know I understand the struggles of being a type 1 diabetic.
I was raised by controlling, manipulative narcissists and I only realized it last year at 25 years old. My parents' abuse, especially my mother's, was very covert. The constant criticism and manipulation was disguised as "we just want the best for you!" I should have recognized it - my mother picked fights and ended relationships with most of her family and all of her friends. She had also isolated my father from some of his family and all of his friends. My mother did the same thing to me. When no one called on my mom's birthday I thought everyone else was at fault - but it was my mother all along. My parents were verbally and emotionally abusive. I, like the one kid in the video, thought that at least I wasn't being physically abused. I thought my childhood was normal. Happy even. My parents practiced the cycle of abuse by being nice and giving me gifts to make up for their abuse. I have anxiety, panic attacks, and C-PTSD as a result of my upbringing. Thankfully once I realized I was abused I cut off all contact with my parents. Today is exactly six months since I have spoken to them and I am much stronger and happier. I'm grateful you and Phil are bringing awareness to child abuse.
I identify so strongly with that sentiment - I tried talking to a friend in high school about my dad calling my whole family worthless, screaming insults ... She told me that was nothing, that her father sometimes spanked her when she'd been bad as a child. I couldn't explain why it was different then - of course, I know why now. The difference was that my family and me had done nothing to provoke my father. The difference was that the shouting wasn't discipline - it was a way for him to release his stress on to other people. Anyway, from that day forward, I'd always tell myself: at least he didn't hit you.
My life as a child was normal enough to me. I didn't get the treatment these children are getting, but when I acted out I got disciplined, may it be with a belt or a hose (growing up old school Mexican taught you some ways to not get smacked), I don't think my parents abused me. There were times I deserved those severe ass whoopin' for stealing or something else stupid I did in my youth but that's it. I can guarantee you that I didn't do it again. But what I want to say is Boogie, you are amazing and I love you too. The sincerity i can see in your face made me want to follow everything you do
There is no situation where a child "deserves" to be belted, caned, etc. Multiple studies have come out not only proving there is no long or short term benefits, but it actually does long term *damage* to the child. If you don't want to call it abuse, that's fine, but no matter how terrible the things you did were, hitting a child in ANY way, even a slap on the bottom with a firm hand, only causes mental damage to the child in the long term. Children who were belted, spanked, etc. are more likely to be dishonest with their parents, more likely to get into bad behavior such as criminal activity, drinking, and smoking, etc. I can tell you, after my mother yanked me to the floor and KICKED me for not making her a tuna fish sandwich unless she stopped insulting me to my face as I did so, I never tried that crap with her again. Does that make kicking me okay? Or does this only apply when specific things are done wrong by the child? Or does it have to be spanking or belting to be okay? If you can't answer those questions with immediate confidence, then clearly belting you wasn't as justified as you're trying to make it to avoid admitting to being abused.
Total Trash Mammal I mean when I stole stuff and got caught, I think I deserved to get hit with the hose. I turned out fine, I'm a isolated life. I'm in colkege, full time job and living on my own. I never stole again in my life because I had it ingrained in my thought that's my parents would do worse as I got older.
You sir are a hero for having the cajones to talk about your experience. I went through abuse from step-dads and my biological father. The day my bio dad was on his tirade my mom made a mistake and broke my trust. See mom had always defended me from it. She took 9 yrs of abuse from one of my step-dads for us kids but when he turned my backside black and blue for not brushing my teeth long enough she didn't hesitate, we left. On the day my bio was on his tirade I was about 14, he had spent an hr or so pinning me down with his knees across my shoulders sitting on my stomach hitting me or physically lifting me up by my hair (washed dried blood out of my hair that night) and then mom stepped between us and I thought "finally it's over" but it wasn't because then she turned and started hitting me. Mom wasn't an MMA fighter by any stretch, but it wasn't the impact of the punches that hurt in that moment, it was the broken trust. I say this because I hope people can learn from it. I've fought to break the chain of violence in my life. I forgave those that hurt me, especially my mom. Like I said she made a mistake. She was afraid of him as much as I was. She thought he would stop if she took over. And it just infuriated him worse. I ended up suffering lots of pain from bad teeth even losing most of mine because of the psychological trauma from my step-dad. Yeah I should've fought it, wish I had. I wouldn't be on the verge of death from 2 badly broken decaying, exposed nerve, infected wisdom teeth. (Can't afford to get them removed because of an unrelated issue) Understand this though I despised what my abusers were. I swore I never would become that. Until I did. Never hurt my kids. But my wife will tell you she took a lot from me, but together we not only found out how to overcome those learned behaviors, but we discovered I had the same disorder my bio father does. IED. Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Thankfully drs found a treatment so when I feel an event happening I take an aspirin and it counters the issue. I'll never excuse what I've done, or what was done to me, but since we found out about my IED I've had maybe one event and finally come to a place where I don't feel like I'm a living time bomb. I don't feel like I could hurt my kids if the wind changes. The thought still scares me but I refuse to make them go through what I did. (Side note: my wife is an amazing and tough woman, she very nearly broke my arm with a mag light one day during one of my episodes). But especially so because instead of just abandoning me because of what was happening, she understood that I was parroting my past, and part of it was a genetically transferred disorder. I know people will likely hate me for admitting to hurting my wife, I know I do. But know this, she forgave, and fought to help me from a position of love, and succeeded in helping me to not be the cause of what I went through for our kids. Sorry for length but this is something I had to share after hearing you talk about your past and asking people to share.
Side note 2. In school I became a bully because I was hurting so bad inside. I used what I knew when my oldest began getting bullied at school and she was not only able to talk her aggressor down but stood up for her and they became friends. The girl was bullied in her home too. Most bullies are trying to offload a lot of pain they experience and going about it the only way they know. Doesn't make it right or acceptable. But it does mean many can be helped and even become decent people too.
That video was wrong, as a parent myself i could not watch that video without feeling sorry for the kids seems like a very traumatic experience, Shocking.
I was sexually abused as a child. My mother is co-dependent with all of us kids. She has three natural born with two different guys and three adopted, two of whom were special needs (FAS). When we left our home town after her suicide attempt we were not allowed to speak the towns name. Our family, our culture our roots became a bad word. Cops were an enemy, she was constantly paranoid of CPS. We grew up with no friends. We grew up eating garbage. We grew up alone. I'm 30 now and have gotten out, my siblings still live with her. They're animals. They have kids. They're neglecting their kids. I've separated myself from them, moved cities. But I have major issues with depression. I'm morbidly obese. I've never gone on a date. I've never had consenting sex. I'm a shut in and struggle everyday to keep going. You give me hope Boogie. Your vids inspire me. Thanks Man
My parents divorced when I was 18 months old. I started spending time round my Dad's house when I was 3 and he was with a new woman who abused me for 7 years. As a result I now have Non Epileptic attack Disorder. I have incredibly painful seizures when I get stressed which I am conscious for. My mum and my family however were and still are wonderful and I will always be grateful to them. And to people like you Boogie, for making me smile when I was at my lowest. Thank you for bringing all of us together to share our experiences, it means a lot to people to know that there is someone willing to listen
I was mentally abused by my mum my whole life but i always found a way to forgive her. Then when i was 12, i was stalked, mentally abused and raped multiple times by my mum's best friend for over a year and a half including my birthdays and Christmases. He eventually went to jail where he got released after half his sentence and October last year he decided to contact me, while i was just getting over being homeless. So i had to go through court again til January this year.. It was really difficult. You're so strong for what you went through Boogie, and i love your videos. They're so funny and help me through so much day to day crap, i don't think you'd understand. You're a savior.
So I probably had the most "normal" life you could expect in this day and age. Loving parents, wanted the best for us, made every opportunity available to my sister and I. They knew when to be stern and when to say "no", and when they could treat us with something special in reward for positive behaviour. I was bullied a lot as a kid, but my parent's love honestly greatly helped, knowing that they cared about me. Even when they got divorced when I was 13 (and they told us the day before I started high school), my dad specifically told me that he wanted us to know that them breaking up wasn't our fault, and that they still loved us unconditionally. Sure my parents can frustrate me or nag me, even as a late-20 year old. But they gave me a great life, now it's my job to make something of it. I feel awful for people who weren't as lucky, and especially so for these kids.
latenightreviewer I'm not gonna lie-I'm jealous. Not in the way where I want you to suffer as well but in the way where I want a home life that is somewhat stable as well even if it involves a divorce which I'm sure must have been very tough on you. But at the same time I'm happy for you and would gladly have the home life I do if it meant someone else didn't have to suffer this way. But there's also this other voice that's more powerful than all the others saying I'm glad I have a poor home life. It has molded me into who I am today: a strong, compassionate, and loving individual. It's given me a story. I guess I just wanted to say that, not sure why but I felt like it was necessary.
I would have never guessed that I would spend an hour reading these comments. Some of the stories are hard for me to comprehend. I grew up in a stable household and never had bad issues with my parents. Yeah, in my teen years I thought they didn't know what they were talking about. But, they gave me a good life. They were never abusive, and today I don't have any mental issues that many of you guys exhibit today. I consider myself extremely lucky. I hope that everyone that has had a rough life so far, will improve. Keep powering through challenges, and you will find a happy ending.
Tony I feel like crying at all these. I too had a somewhat stable life - the worst I had was my parents divorcing when I was 1, then a few terrible GFs of my dad. Now I have a terrible stepmother, though seeing these, I'm constantly reminded how lucky I am to have this specific terrible stepmother. It's hard to fathom and...utterly heartbreaking.
My father is a narcissist and my mother is a chronic enabler. My dad is a talented writer, but his alcoholism and mental illness insured he never had steady work. Even after he quit drinking, he could never hold a job down for more than a year or two. His bosses were assholes, they didn't pay him enough for his AMAZING talent, etc. etc. When he was working (and making an assload of money), he bought fancy tech, fancy cars, and used his income level to get loans for other large purchases. Meanwhile my mom worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs to pay every bill and feed us. NONE of his income went to actually running the household. When I was a teenager, my mother moved us in with her parents -- who had become too feeble to care for themselves. That's when the shit REALLY hit the fan. Coupled with my father's constant belittlement (everything I've ever done, everything I've ever liked or gotten joy out of is stupid, pointless, childish, a waste of time, and something only a moron would enjoy.), my grandparents physically beat me all the time for the tiniest offenses (like putting the forks away incorrectly). Instead of telling my grandparents to cut that out, my mother told me to stop antagonizing them and to just shut up and take it when they attacked me for no reason. They were "old" and "in pain" and I had to "be understanding". My chaotic home life made me an easy target for a terrible adult outside of my family, and I was groomed and sexually abused from the time I was 15 until I was 23. My abuser was 25 when they met me at 15, they very skillfully provided the "love" and "attention" I wasn't getting at home and so desperately needed. Through all this time, I was understandably having some mental problems. It started with depression, then progressed to panic attacks, let that simmer in a monstrous cocktail of psychotropic medication and alcohol abuse for about a decade, and then you have some hot, fresh PTSD making functioning as an adult near impossible. Medication was useless for me, in fact it made things much worse (because we all love putting on 70lbs and not sleeping for 3+ days at a time, right?), but I won't discount it completely. If anti-depressants helped you, good. I'm glad. But realize they harm a lot of people, too. Therapy and my lovely, supportive spouse have been the only things that have helped me process and cope with what I went through. I wished someone in my life would have stepped in when I was hurting, and Boogie and Phil are doing the right thing by speaking out against these terrible parents. Who the FUCK exploits their children's misery for clicks??? I've got a prank for you, bruh. It's called PRISON.
Boogie, thanks for making this video. I want to reach through my computer and hug you. I had a pretty normal childhood. My Mom made sure of it. She shielded me and left an abusive man. She is so strong to have done that with an infant in that era, but her family supported her, too. I had a great step-dad that taught me that a girl was better by far than any man. They lifted me up when the world fell out from under me. All great things come to an end, but I learned what was good and what was bad. So when I married what I thought was a wonderful man and then he started blaming me for things going wrong in his life, I knew something wasn't right. Then I found out he was lying and cheating. When he was exposed he started physically abusing me. Once. But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My infant daughter and me left just like my mom and I left. And my family supported me. I have been married to the real man of my dreams for 30 years now. I have 3 wonderful (most of the time) kids and one new grandbaby. Yeah, that's him as my avatar. *proud Grandma*
I've felt trapped like Cody before when certain family members would tease and torment me to the point of tears, so I heavily empathize with him. I thought as I got older I just grew up and was finally able to take a joke, but upon retrospect, I realize what they did was wrong all along. My husband even used to push my buttons intentionally and then wonder why I would lash out. There were several times I got defensive and hostile around my husband because of underlying childhood traumas, and later in our marriage, I reconciled with what happened in my childhood, and I also think a part of him realized that pushing my buttons was not ideal, so we've moved on together and grew stronger from that point. I think the worst was my father's temper and mother's anxiety. Our parents, especially dad in particular, were angry parents and just hard to be around sometimes. They are fundamentalist Catholic, so much of their beliefs and parenting ideas came from a strict authoritarian religion. That's not to say that they were 100% 24/7 abusive, they thought what they were doing was right or they wouldn't have done it. Abuse is such a complicated issue in this way because many parents don't realize when they're being abusive. I was terrified of my dad and convinced he hated me when I was younger to the point where I would have nightmares of him murdering me. I fantasized of getting rid of him or driving a wedge between him and mom so he'd leave when I was smaller. I favored my mom when I was little because she wasn't scary like dad, but she has anxiety and that definitely affected her parenting style and affected how I learned to deal with challenges. There was a whole 'nother level of anxiety on top of what I already inherited biologically from my mother's side and from her behaviors, and that was salvation anxiety as well as political anxiety. Our parents have a very black and white view of the world, so people who did not fit a certain mold, fill certain expectations, or had different opinions were thought of as threatening, whether they intended for this to happen or not. Atheists, homosexuals, liberals, etc were all scary, and anything that questioned or challenged our religious beliefs was a literal attack from the devil, even questions we formed in our own heads. My dad was not an alcoholic, but I feel his rage sometimes matched one. In the mornings, if the kitchen wasn't clean, I'd often cower under my bed covers to the sound of dishes rustling around, cabinet doors opening/closing, and often things being thrown around. Dad threw stuff when he was mad. He pulled my hair on several occasions when he was mad, even over something as stupid as a misunderstanding over a broken cd case on the floor that *spoiler alert* wasn't his. I told him it was our cousin's, who was sitting right there, and he pulled my hair and called me a liar. After I calmed down, I marched into the living room, pulled his pristine cd case from the shelf and showed him. No apology, just a blank stupid stare. I still hate him for many things, but still a small portion of me loves him because he too was capable of it. But because of his inability to admit when he was wrong or apologize, coupled in with my sister's cynicism when attempting to talk openly about things that bothered me, nothing ever changed until I got out of the house. I forwarded these atrocious behaviors on to my little brother and I was horrible to him from his toddler years until I left, much to my parent's confusion. Don't mistake it as an excuse, but rather an explanation. What breaks my heart is I don't even know if he's gone through the same soul searching process I have about what I've done to him, and last I talked to him, he said he missed the times I used to play with him. Our relationship definitely got better after I moved out and got fresh air, but I still harbor so much regret. 21 years of walking on eggshells around my family when I lived with them, and countless more to come when we visit them. My only hope is some day soon I can have an honest discussion with my brother at least, my sisters and parents I don't care to discuss this with much.
Had the same kind of day. Kids should not be scared every day waiting for their father to come home knowing he was probably gonna start yelling, cussing or give us the belt. He never apologises for anything. He is right and everyone else is wrong. Walking on eggshells is exactly how I describe it too.
Although my childhood was moderately fine, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years before I broke out of it. And somewhere along the way, I got anxiety and severe depression. Up until maybe two months ago, all I could think about was killing myself and just ending that pain. I think society doesn't take female abuse in a relationship seriously. If a woman physically abuses a man, he's considered a pussy. If he fights back, he's considered the cruel one. And in most US states if someone calls 911 for spousal violence, the police department is obligated to arrest somebody and over 90% of the time, they will arrest the man, even if he's the victim. Although I wasn't often physically attacked, I was bombarded constantly with an emotional downpour. It really has shaped my maturity and growth as a person. Despite how shitty I felt and how shitty she made me feel, I still loved her at one point and I truly care about her. She has BPD, depression, numerous personality disorders, was molested as a child, had her adopted and biological father leave her. She went through a lot and her family treated her like utter shit and I wanted to help her to find happiness because, despite all that's been said and done and how much we both suffered, she didn't deserve that childhood. Even though it ended terribly and there's immense resentment from both of us, I truly hope she can find happiness because she deserves it. And if you're reading this, so do you. If you're in an abusive relationship, there is a way out. I had enough, you can too. You deserve happiness, you deserve the freedom to escape from a life of bitterness and depression. When you wake up tomorrow, the Earth will still be spinning, and you will still have X number of days left on this Earth. It's your job to make those days count. Thank you for reading.
Just a quick "hi" to a courageous man who defeated the cycle of abuse and double-binding. It's important that you realise that you're not a professional, dealing with a patient, in a professional setting. You CAN'T truly cure a loved one, you CAN'T be someone's therapist, and that's MORE THAN OKAY. You're a human being, and you have needs too. You're in a relationship, and you deserve to be in a relationship between a man and a woman, NOT a man and a patient. Society and its double-standards, especially in regards to how abuse against men work disgusts me. It's those stereotypes and everyday light-hearted humour which turn into people's perceptions and propaganda. Really good work standing up for yourself and recognising that this is not the way to live. Caring for another is one thing; if it's one-sided, and/or you're not prioritizing your health and safety first, dump it. It must've been hard. It must've taken courage, worries, anxieties, regrets, and much more for you to make that decision in your life. But you know what? You're awesome for doing that. Nobody should blame you for that. Stay strong, brother. Let us know if anything comes up. Although I don't know you, I really care about you and your story of braveness. God bless, and have an amazing, kick-ass day.
@@euphonyfff2316 I totally agree with you. Knowing they have these issues is so easy to think you can help fix them but what they really need is professional help, otherwise they end up abusing you.
My mother has schizophrenia and had a breakdown when I was 15. She walked 25 miles in the middle of winter because "god" told her to. She stopped being my mother for a long time. My dad was too depressed to be there for me. He ironically told me to "man up" and deal with my depression. A friend committed suicide two days into my first semester at college. I didn't graduate but I kept dropping out and coming back because I couldn't move on. I tried to kill myself several times. I have severe OCD and anxiety disorders. I wasn't abused and my problems aren't nearly as bad as others. Not by a long shot. I have an excellent job in an IT field and I'm happy. It gets better.
You should look up the effects of a mentally ill parent on a child. You basically learn to never rely on them and because of that, you have no safe base to return to from the world nor do you learn any normalcy. It's traumatic in its own way. Giving you a bunch of e-hugs if you want them!
Everything is very good for me now! And while going through what I did has left me a little emotionally stunted, I've accomplished what I have in spite of my experiences. I just hope it helps at least one person find encouragement.
Corey Brundige Please remember, your parents did the best they could with what they had. They loved you. They just weren't capable of showing you in the ways you deserved. Mental illness has so many victims. I am so glad you are doing well. Continue to share your story... you never know who you are helping :)
From the age of 6-9, I had some sort of unwanted sexual attention from my next door neighbour. She was a year younger than me and she would make me do things I wasn't comfortable with/wasn't ready for. Simple things like kissing to more sexual things like touching me down below and making me touch her. I would tell her I didn't want to do it or that it made me uncomfortable but she would just blackmail me and tell me how she would no longer be my friend (we were pretty close friends and besides the touching stuff, she was a good friend to me) she was also friends with the other neighbourhood kids and so I didn't want to lose her as a friend or make things awkward when we were all hanging out as a group. I know I shouldn't but I still feel ashamed that this has happened to me. I've never told anyone, not anyone in my family or friends or a professional. I feel like because I'm a guy and she's a girl AND because she was a year younger than me, nobody would believe me when I told them. They would think I'm just making it up or I was the one being inappropriate. Because of what she did, I find it hard NOW to get close to people, to make friends and to do anything romantic/sexual with someone even though I desire it. Not to mention my anxiety disorder which no doubt started because of that. I don't know why I'm posting this but I suppose it feels good to finally say it (even if no one reads this/cares), it's good to get things off your chest sometimes.
Most people think of sexual abuse as, well penetrative. But; and I say this from personal experience, inappropriate attention- touching and emotional manipulation can be just as devastating in their psychological effects. Now remember; it is not happening right now. And although it happened TO you it had very little to do ABOUT you. This other persons psychology manifested in their actions. You just happened to be there. What happens now is up to you. Please take one piece of advice, read "How to win friends and influence people" Do not be turned off by the 'influence' thing it sounds negative, but this book will help you adjust to how other people expect and want to be treated. Most people who meet me think I am not nearly as crazy an odd coot as I actually am do to some of the wisdom in this book. We all just want to be well liked and friendly. You are worth the efforts your successes in life will require.
Thank you very much for this comment. I agree that a lot of people view sexual abuse as just penetrative but the long-lasting effects of any unwanted sexual advances, inappropriate touching and emotional manipulation can be traumatising. Like I said I've never talked about this before or sought any help although I think it would do me a lot of good if I did talk to a professional about all of this. Yeah, I have to tell myself that a lot. That I didn't ask for it or deserve it and that it was put upon me by someone who I believe just wanted to explore their sexuality, whether I wanted it or not didn't concern them. It was all about what they wanted not what I wanted. Thank you, I will look for it on Amazon and give it a read. I have heard about that book before actually and heard that it was good but I'll actually take the step to buy it and give it a read this time. That is true. I do the best I can to be a good person as I feel we all do.
Josh Parker same thing happened to me at around 5 years old with one of my friends, she would blackmail me by saying she would tell everybody not to be my friend. i grew up so ashamed of the things she did to me but only around the age of 18 i realized there was something wrong with HER and that at 5 what could i have done to stop it? at least now i'm not as ashamed to talk about it because i have friends my age who went through the same thing. you are not alone.
I'm sorry that you had to go through this too. I was the same, I knew what was happening wasn't right at the time but I didn't realise how wrong it was. It was only when I got older that I realised what was going on. I moved away when I was 10 and haven't had contact with this person since then, I just hope that I was the only one she forced into doing that with.
I appreciate how he mentioned that even people with ideal childhoods should comment down here, but when I read some of these comments about what some people have gone through, I'd just feel so selfish and shitty if I posted my own childhood. It wasn't ideal and it did cause me to develop anxiety, but some of the comments down here are truly horrifying and terrible. For those of you out there who have in fact gone through serious abuse, I give you a sincere round of applause and a hug because if you were able to get through stuff like that, then you are the toughest and strongest people I know.
Oris Cinn same here. I mostly experienced verbal abuse, mild neglect (my mom was on tranquilizers to help regulate mood and her psych saw nothing wrong with her sleeping all day) and being left at my grandma's at age 11 because my mom and I really did not get along. I got spanked but maybe 5 times total between age 5-11 (my earlier eat memories start at age 5). Yes, I have anxiety, can't take compliments because I think I'm being made fun of, and fear being close to people, but school caused just as much of that as parenting did. From age 11 on, the isolation from my siblings got to me but it was definitely a better environment and I did much better.
Hey boogie, I was trying to find a place to message this to you privately but I can't find any way to do that. This doesn't really have too much to do with this video, I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to some people. My dad passed away at the end of February. He had stage four pancreatic cancer and it had spread way too far by the time we found it. From the time he was diagnosed until he passed was less than three months. He was 41. My dad absolutely loved you. Especially your Francis character. He was always checking back to your channel to see if there were any new ones out and he'd quote your videos all the time. "I want my God damn mountain dew!" was one of his favorite lines. You put out a video a while back that really resonated with him. I don't remember what it was called exactly but it's where you drew pictures and talked about your past. He was overweight and that was a big part of that video, the acceptance of that and the will to change and be healthier. Your videos truly made him happy and I really appreciate that you do what you do. Thank you.
Boogie is a hero. I admire him so much, and I hope that eventually, I and everyone else can come out on top as well. Thanks for making this video dude.
I was raised by a single schizophrenic mother and a grandmother who suffers from dementia. It has been a frustrating difficult road for me and did not have much help anyone let a lone family members. Because I grew up viewing my mother's violent schizophrenia episodes and stress from dealing my grandmother's dementia frequently on a daily basis I developed anxieties that were limiting me from living a normal life while growing up and presently. I had trouble sleeping, would have panic attacks, and lived in constant fear that my mother or grandmother would cause harm to me or themselves. I never really invited any friends over nor did family visit due to the negative environment of my home. I have tried to seek out psychiatric help for my mother and grandmother however, both refuse to cooperate due to their paranoia. I have tried to get law enforcement, doctors, family members, friends, neighbors or just anyone to convince them to at least try to see a psychiatrist but no luck. I am 22 and go to community college and work and continue to live with my mother and grandmother for the sake of taking care of them. However, I think I have ran out of steam to keep this up any longer and eventually will be moving out soon since I will be transferring to a university this year. As much as I love my family I really am looking forward towards starting a new life and dorming with other people. I am just worried what will happen to family once I leave the nest. I don't know where I was going with this but it felt good sharing this. I don't normally share my life story to anyone but it feels good letting it out for once I usually bottle my emotions a majority of the time. And Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this :)
Hector Ramos keep your head up amigo.Its your life to live and you need to live it for you. I know you love your family but they have chosen their life and you need to choose yours. best of luck at University
Moving to Uni is a good decision and I hope it serves you well. You've done your time living with your mother and grandmother, it's time to live your own life and prosper from it. Best of luck, man.
My father had some anger issues when I was growing up. I am pretty sure that he's the reason that I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I cry every time a man raises his voice or yells at me. It's an automatic reaction- I can't help it. But you know what, my dad didn't do that on purpose. He loved me, and he didn't want to hurt me. He didn't yell because he wanted to get me to cry- in fact, he couldn't bear it when I cried. he still can't. But these people purposely yelled and goaded their kid into crying, and screaming, and breaking down. I can't imagine the mental toll that took on that young child- I developed issues with anxiety just from a father who couldn't control his temper. This child had to deal with parents who hurt him on purpose. It makes me want to cry. I hope that he can get out from under that mental toll he had to take. I did- therapy and medication has really helped. I just want the best for that kid. Hope the parents end up in jail.
I too was abused, mentally, physically and emotionally. My father was an alcoholic who would beat my mother, my sister and I. I couldn't trust anyone. And I believe that I was sexually abused, but don't remember much about that. Thank you for this video, I have never told anyone else all of what I just wrote, and I am honestly scared of other people in my life finding out. Afraid that they may look at me differently, like I am broken. But yes my story does have a happy ending. I am slowly gaining more and more control over my emotions and actions. I have a wonderful wife who loves me dearly and who I love as much as I am able. Life is good. If I ever see you in person. I'm going to have to give you a hug.
Hey boogie! This is my story and it ain't over yet but! When I was little my mom and I lived in a small apartment. She would smoke weed on a regular basis and even sometimes snort coke. She would give me toys and provide food for me. But! She almost never spend time with me. I never really got too play with other kids. And when I went out I had the "bigger boys" take care of me. I lived in a ghetto so it was very dangerous and I'm lucky to be alive today. My father was out of the picture until I became 11 years old. My mom had told me that he didn't want too see cause I was too "energetic". But it was a lie my dad wanted too see me but he was a alcoholic, and with my mom constantly pushing him away he got too fatigued and gave up. When I finally met him he was the nicest person I had ever met. Me and him spend a lot of time together. But my mom didn't like that, so she began manipulating the "authority's" and created more trouble. My dad stopped drinking because of me and he became a patient on the addiction center. But......then he became very sick,tired,depressed and sad. He died last December of KOL,arthritis. Now I'm 15 years old and i live with my mom. She keeps punishing me for absurd reasons. For example if I don't take the thrash out in time she'll hit me with a broom in my face. I had 4 Stiches beacause of her...... I hope you read this Boogie.........please respond if you do
Oliver Lorenzen I didn't know your father but what you told me, he was a good father you should be proud of him changing his ways, for you keep your head up man
Oliver Lorenzen You're very brave, stay strong. Try to get a job soon and if things get too tough make sure you know someone you could stay with who is trustworthy. Also if you do ever decide you can't live there anymore, contact the authorities first. School counselors and principals make the situation worse and will always be on the parents side, that's how they are trained sadly. When you move out, keep in mind that abuse can make you a bit jaded towards everyone so try to keep an open mind. Things WILL get better, try to keep your grades up and save as much money as you can.
I've been abused by my father and I've been molested by my uncle. My mother, finally, divorced my father due to the abuse he inflicted on my brother and I. My father beat my brother to the point that it landed him in the hospital due to broken ribs, a broken arm and a broken nose. My father's response was "walk it off.. Its not that bad. You'll heal, stop making this into a big deal." He left me, when I was 7, with my uncle who was known sex offender. When I told my father what my uncle did his exact words were "I'm sure you enjoyed it." Do you know how sick that is, for a father to say that to a scared 7 yr old girl. I told my mother about what my uncle did, and my uncle is still in prison for child molestation and pedophilia. Then I told her that my father left me there.. My mother chased my father around with a knife and all he said was "She's lying. It never happened." My mother believed me over my father and my parents divorced. Afterwards, it was the 1st time in my life that I felt safe. I remember after seeing my brother in a bloody mess, my father turned to me and said "If you say a word to your mother, I'll slit your throat, you understand me?! Not one word." I was so terrified, I kept that secret til a few months ago. The situation was so traumatic that I blocked that memory until it came back. I remember another incident.. My father had a bad day at work and took his frustrations out on me. He beat me til I was bruised up. He then told me that I was worthless. With all that's happened to me, the only feeling I have towards my father is extreme hatred. I lost respect when he left me to be molested by my uncle. The only thing this has done for me is not to let my children go through the same thing I went through. I am happier with my husband and my children. I haven't seen my father in 15 yrs, and I wish I never see him again. Everytime I talk about what happened, I feel anger. So, that's my child abuse story.. As horrible as it was to remember it, and as many tears as I've held back when writing this.. I hope you listened to my story. I've been judged by everyone for not being strong enough and being too scared to say anything.. But, all I can say to them: You weren't in my shoes. You have no right to speak. Thanks for listening..
Hello Boogie, I follow all your rambling videos (they are my favorites because I get so much inspiration from you as a person). Thank you for talking about this. I went to philip video and almost burst out in tears. What they are doing with that poor kid just destroyed me, but these are things that we need to talk about. We must give what we can to make both adults and children more conscious about this stuff. And you, as always, hit the point so well and so sincerely. I'm not lacking friends, but I'd really love to be your friend and ramble about stuff. I always relate with your sensitive and kind nature because I'm exactly the same, tho I didn't have such a shitty childhood as you, I have a pretty simple and standard life. As I always say, you are like an Alchemist to me: you turned all the shit of your life into gold. I hope you read this :) Sorry about my English, BTW, I'm from Argentina and it is not my main language hehe
my mom was an alcoholic. I haven't spoken to her in 3 years now. I get unreasonably angry whenever I see mothers day adds or when I hear someone say how perfect moms are. I know my experiences aren't the norm amd that there are many wonderful mom's out there but I can't seem to get over it. idk if everyone is sharing their story I thougt I'd share a part of mine. if any of you is dealing with an alcoholic parent as well know that it's not okay. but you can still learn to become happy, that's what I did.
KINGFAIL my dad was an alcoholic... he was a nasty drunk who didn't beat me or my family but would say the nastiest things. Never care about me or my sister, treated us like we were lower than dirt...etc he died 4 yrs ago. The last time we spoke we had an argument about something that ended with me storming out of his house crying my eyes out. And I honestly can say I have no emotions about him dying. I could care less if he was alive or dead. It's ok to feel like they don't deserve to be in your life... you said you haven't said that you haven't talked to your mom in 3 yrs. it's ok to be like that... just because they are your parent, they don't automatically deserve to be in our lives
KINGFAIL hey saw u were talking about moms and ur experiences are basically the exact opposite of mine, just felt like I should share cus u said Mother's Day gets u worked up. Maybe I just like to talk about my mom...idk what I'm doing. But my mom is the the best thing that's happened to my life. Anytime I was down, she would be there. Made me lunches growing up and has supported me through every tough situation I come across. She has also taught me right and wrong, empathy, care for others, and love. She is the best person I know despite the fact that she was abused growing up. Idk what I'm trying to say here but the best thing I can say is. if u decide to have a kid or if u already do then make sure they get a good mom, because she could be some of the most inspirational person to that kid.
My mother started drinking when I was 10. She had recently been through a divorce and we were barely able to get by. Her motherly nature quickly changed to a constant resentment that she had to care for me. For weeks I spent nights in the car outside of her new boyfriend's apartment, not knowing how long I would be there alone or when I would be eating. After we officially moved in with her boyfriend, I almost never saw her sober again. She was always trying to teach me a lesson by setting up these ridiculous situations to test how I would react, and I always blew up and would get beat or embarrassed in front of friends or family. For example, many times she would purposefully lose me in the grocery store and would get help to find me. She'd sob after I was found, "Oh my baby!", and then would ridicule me in front of everyone for being a bad kid that ran way, and it only got worse when we got home. I guess she needed the attention. No one ever believed me that she was doing all these things on purpose. When I was 13, we crashed into a ditch from her drunk driving after she got in a huge fight with her boyfriend. I left my unconscious (but relatively unharmed) mother on the side of the road and walked to a gas station for help. I went to stay with my dad's parents immediately, and I've only seen my mother at Christmas and a couple other holidays each year since. All through my teenage years I just wanted her to admit that she was wrong and apologize, but she only made it out that I should feel bad for leaving her. I eventually stopped caring and moved on. Years later when I was 22 she admitted to me that everything she did was wrong and that she was a bad mother. It didn't change anything as I had always wished it would. Even though she had quit drinking, I was too skeptical about her to believe that she wasn't just trying to get attention from me. I still only see her a couple times a year at family gatherings and try to avoid her. Sometimes I feel guilty for not giving her a chance, but the feeling goes away after I resume forgetting about her until the next family event. Is this normal?
This is normal how you feel. You don't owe your mother anything. You don't get to choose your family, but you get to decide if you want them in your life. The guilt nags you because we are always told "but thats your mom, thats family..etc etc". If you are told not to keep toxic people in your life, that should also extend to family. I hope things get easier for you
Jordan Sellers It is absolutely normal. You feel guilty because you remember who she used to be. You grieve for that good part of her. You are reminded of that during family events... then life goes back to normal and your natural defense mechanisms take over.
Jordan Sellers - I think it's absolutely normal. Trust is not just given, it's earned. If she has truly changed her ways, it will show over time. I had to learn how to set serious boundaries with my own Mom. My trust is limited but my heart is protected. I educated myself and got some good counsel. Everyone processes differently and taking time is a wise choice.
Thank you for making videos covering such important topics! I'm 19 and at university so I've temporarily left the abusive environment I grew up in but still have to return to it during the vacations. My mum has always had mental illnesses that have caused her to not understand how to look after children and caused her to be physically and mentally abusive. When I was 7 I tried to tell my dad that my mum was hitting me everyday and telling me to kill myself, that I'd ruined her life, was a waste of space etc and he just said I deserved it because I was badly behaved. This made me think it was normal and not bother to tell anyone until I was 16 when the police got involved because my mum hit me publicly. Since then my mum has tried to change and realised that what she did was wrong but it doesn't excuse what she did to me. My dad and stepmom don't understand the effect that my mum has had on my life and their response to finding out was to blame me for not telling them sooner what was going on. Since going to university my life has been so much better but I still get anxious coming home to my mum. I still feel sick with nerves whenever my mum's voice changes tone or she's stood closely next to me. I hope my children never have to feel like that.
I'm glad I found you. No therapist has been able to help me so far. When I explain what has happened to me, they say that I have it all figured out, I should teach a class on narcissism, or that I simply have good coping techniques. That just translates to me that they don't know what to do with what I say. I'm a mess inside and I don't know what to do, I'm not a normal person. My parents neglected me as a child and I didn't have schooling after elementary school. A family member took me in at 16 and put me through high school but she became my main abuser and made sure I maintained no control over my life. She married the most brutal mental abuser I have ever met. He made my life a living hell for 2 years before I ran. This man made me contemplate stabbing him with an x-acto knife that I used for projects. His harassment was so brutal and constant. Thankfully I never resorted to violence. I will go through all of your videos, I like the way to present yourself and your words get through to me. That's more than I can say about a lot of people. I'm relatively happy at this point in my life because I have found an understanding husband and I have a beautiful little girl. I struggle everyday to make sure her childhood will never resemble mine. Thank you.
Krista and miniclip1162, please keep looking for the right therapist to help you. That person is out there. It took me a few tries, but I finally found mine and it's been a miracle. It's a process and healing isn't a perfect straight line, but damn, it is possible and it works. It's not uncommon to go through many therapists before you find the right fit for you, but it is worth the search, I promise! In the meantime, I found this video (which brought me to tears) through Kati Morton's UA-cam channel. If you haven't found her yet, she's a therapist who makes incredibly helpful, healthy videos. I'm certain she has some about finding the right therapist for you, and her videos in general are wonderful. Check her out if you're interested! I'm so sorry about the things you've been through. Hang in there, and remember that you are not alone!
As I dig into more of their videos, I couldn't imagine growing up in that household. Sure, my family was dirt poor and sometimes we'd wake up without heat in the house or have an occasional night without dinner, but at least my parents cared. They worked so hard to make it all work and the fact that they cared about us was never in question. That family looks like hell and they use money to bribe their damn kids into accepting it.
What I've learned over the years is that there's no such thing as "normal" parenting, unfortunately. As Boogie said, there is an ideal, but no "normal". I grew up with people who were verbally (and probably physically & sexually, though I never knew about it) abused and they still claim their parents are the greatest people ever. Funnily enough, it was usually the more "well off" parents who nurtured abuse. Most kids know, either consciously or subconsciously, whether their parents truly love them or not.
I'd argue that normal parenting is one in which you do not abuse your children. That's a pretty simple indicator. Leaves room open for different parent types and other stuff.... but stuff like that video/channel. That's not normal. That's abusive and holy shit does my blood boil now that I know about that channel.
My mother used to crush my head between her legs, turn the light off and tell me the devil was coming, and frequently locked me out of my home with my underwear on. I still loved my mother, as most kids do. As a result of my childhood I have developed, in my adult life, incapacitating anxiety. I managed to find someone in my adult life who was the complete antithesis of my mother. Someone who was kind, loving, and caring. I still think back on the things that happened to me from time to time, and videos like this resonate with me. Speaking about the adversity that you've been through, although painful, can provide a cathartic release. I wish you and yours perpetual happiness, boogie2988, and anyone else who reads this.
I've never seen one of your videos before, but I saw your clip on the Philip DeFranco show and it hit so close to home that I had to come watch the whole video. Thank you for being so open and honest about your past and the horrible things you went through. Some people, like myself, aren't brave enough to talk about it. Ever. And I know it's important for people to talk about it and for there to be awareness, but it's like I just can't bare to speak about it. I try and I just start crying and the words never come out. So I just don't even try to talk about any specifics now and I'm 29 years old. So I really, genuinely appreciate your courage for being so open about your life. Thank you. 🖤
I was/have been raised in a christian home, with my Mom and my brother. My Dad passed away when I was around 12. So far, life is going well. I got myself a part time job doing some deconstructing and stuff for some renovations. I just wanna say Boogs, you are the only youtuber who I believe that shares exactly whats going on, no holes barred. As a result you have gained amny haters however your fanbase has grown and I love to see these legit, down to earth, type of rambling videos. They remind everyone that youtubers arent just youtubers. You are a person, with an identity, feelings. And I feel that alot of people tend to forget that. So I just wanna say, thanks for being yourself.
I never thought emotional abuse was abuse until I was older. I never knew that people didn't talk to their children like they were sub-human. As if it were my fault for being alive, for "ruining her life" or being "the reason she drinks". I just wanted a ride home from school because I was staying late playing guitar. I HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME in my head. YOU ARE THE REASON I DRINK. It's your fault I'm an alcoholic and I threaten to beat you for being a kid, for being too loud, for having too much fun, for having normal emotions and reactions to things. HOW DARE I BE A PERSON, I was a child and I needed to shut up, clean and go away. Help was not to be asked for, then I was stupid. I was threatened much more than I was actually beaten but I remembered the beatings so vividly that even the threat was enough to send me into a panic attack. I've had them since I was so young that I didn't even know what was happening, why I felt sick like i yearned for something that was non-existent. No matter how understanding I am or was of the fact that my mother was just a person or that she didn't understand the kind of damage she was inflicting upon my brain; I still live with the scars. The anxiety, depression, self-hate, the fucked up kidneys from the 99% salt diet, the panic attacks, self-harm, the shame I feel for wanting to have sex. It's all still there no matter how understanding I am of her and why she was the way she was. I am slowly healing though. I will overcome this damage and live the best life I can. Thank you for your content and for sharing the things you do. These videos are therapeutic.
Hello boogie2988. This is the first time I've watched one of your videos and I'm glad I did. There's so much I want to say, but I will keep it brief as I know you have a lot to read. Sadly there's a name for what many of us went through. It's called Narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic personality disorder isn't someone staring at themselves in the mirror. It's someone that usually exhibits the behavior traits of those that abused us mentally and sometimes physically as children. They Gas Light, they Project, and twist reality to mess our minds up and ill prepare us for life. When you were explaining about your eating habits at home. I knew before you said it why it was happening to you. To make it so you couldn't leave. In my house though my mother ate horribly bad I was able to escape it and was always fit. That being said Munchausen syndrome by proxy was her thing, which sadly my brother followed suit to receive what he thought was my mothers love. Also she was doing this to screw up his life so he would never leave. As for me, because I tried the best I could to resist what was going on. I was labeled the scape goat and punished with more abuse and smear campaigns. Narcissistic abuse needs more attention brought to it, because I'm sure there are millions like us that will realize they aren't alone. I've been making videos for several years trying to do my part to help, and there are many others out there as well that are doing the same. I don't know much about your channel yet and what your beliefs are, but may God Bless you sir for making this video, and yes you are a success. Keep up the good work. Oh, and yes, there is always someone that knows, but they just won't say anything, and because of it children have to grow up like we did. It's just a shame. James/begood4000
begood4000 im not trying to belittle anything you said, its just not fair to call something " narcissistic abuse". Even though a lot of narcisst are abusive, narcisst are not inherently abusive.
my life so far hasn't been terrible, but certainly wasn't always good. for roughly the first two thirds of my life, my mother had to raise me and my little brother almost entirely on her own. i didn't live in poverty, but as you can imagine, this put a lot of stress on my mom. so much that repeated misbehavior could cause that stress to just make her snap. i have mild autism, so of course basic behavior just didn't click for me. you can guess how tough that made things. she isn't an abuser now, but as young and inexperienced as she was (she had me at seventeen!) and how she had grown up herself, she used to display pretty abusive behavior to make me and my brother behave. after a while, it just got to the point that the littlest things could set her off. eventually though, she just kind of broke down, and she told me about how she was abused as a child. i found out how terribly her mother had treated her, and i was horrified. everything made sense to me. something had clicked in her mind that day that made her realise what she was becoming, and from that day since, she has been nothing short of a wonderful mother.
I grew up being raised by a single mother working two jobs and finishing her degree. She worked unbelievably hard to get me and my sister where we are today. Were there screaming matches? More than a few. But at the same time I knew that it was to shape me into the best me that I could be. She's my best friend and my hero.
Good on you but it's very different in a lot of cases In your case it was probably just screaming out of frustration which is normal in a one parent household but here in the situation boogie is talking about you have a full family picking on the youngest child for views and after destroying the child physically and mentally they just say It's just a prank bro.That is Grade A abuse.
Brian Rodriguez oh I agree. I was just going by what he said at the very end, that being to share your story of growing up. The 0Five parents need CPS to come back until they realize that nothing is ideal about that household.
Brian Rodriguez oh I agree. I was just going by what he said at the very end, that being to share your story of growing up. The 0Five parents need CPS to come back until they realize that nothing is ideal about that household.
I grew up poor, in a small town in Iowa. I grew up with an undiagnosed bipolar mother, and alcoholic father. I was slapped around, ass whupped, pulled out of bed at 2am because the bar closed and he couldn't stay...or beaten with whatever was handy because my mother was manic and angry...the worst of which was a full sized grilling spatula, too many times to count, until i was bleeding so much i stained the carpet...then i got beat some more for that... But that's not even the worst of it! I was being beaten once, and my mother got tired, and pushed me to the floor... where i proceeded to lay, for nearly 20 minutes. I had retreated within myself mentally, trying to hide, and had apparently gone catatonic, as I remember her yelling at me multiple times to get up, kicking me, slapping me... but I couldn't move. She then, in a bid to scare me into mobility, pointed a loaded(i know, because I had just cleaned and reloaded it a week before) hunting rifle at my head. You wanna know where my eyes were? on the safety...which was off, as my stepfather had instructed me to leave it, in case someone tried to come in the house. He wanted it to be a point and pull, usable defense weapon...and I followed those house rules to the pixel, my friend, because stepping out of line was painful. Her finger on the trigger, safety off, and all I could imagine was the release she was about to grant me. She finally put the gun down when i didn't move a muscle, and left me there. I half remember crawling up the stairs hours later, after the sun had gone down. What changed for me was when I got beaten one night, with fists, to the face...and went to school the next day with black eyes, a broken nose, and bruising everywhere else... because I never looked in the mirror. I was ashamed of who I was, so why would I ever care what I looked like? That was in 7th grade. I was put in foster care, then to my grandma's, but she couldn't handle my anger... so i went into the shelter system for a while. Immediately after that, i finally learned to control the rage that I had inside. Channeled it into sports. Became bigger, stronger... the courts checked on my "parents" and decided that the "counseling" and "lifestyle changes" they had made were enough for me to go back... WELL, things hadn't actually changed...except that i was no longer one to be pushed around. I fought back... and it all came to a head when I shoved my stepfather so hard against the counters one night, that he was the one who couldn't get up... I gave him a spinal contusion that he had to blame on "falling into a railing at work off a ladder" because he was so embarrassed that I finally stood up for myself. I never had a problem with them again. Went to college, joined the military, NEVER have I returned to live under their roof or under their care...and never will again. My children will never know the kind of life I was forced to live... and I will never allow a child in my purview to be abused as I was. I have made that commitment to myself and to my family. Thanks for letting me vent, Boogie. I appreciate it.
Really inspiring. I always dreamed that day would come for me but it never did. I was always too scared. I also remember wanting to join the military (maybe I thought it would make up for the lack of direction and discipline in my life). But never happened. fast forward about 10-15 years later I have 2 kids, have forgiven my parents and actually have a decent relationship with them now. I still have flashbacks in the form of nightmares at times and learn something new about whatever this is (ptsd?) everyday. My kids don't get corporal punishment. My kids don't get yelled at. My kids get respect, dignity, encouragement and love. They will never know what it was to live in my house for those tough years. Thank God I married a wonderful woman who had a healthy upbringing and supports this.
Rich Palmer lol I am not sure the revenge aspect is so satisfying as in the end to some degree you have to become what you hate in order to return that treatment to the person. But i don't think that's what OP did/said rather just the fact he spent some time away and was allowed to grow and gain self respect took away the fear of the abuser so he could stand up for himself. I always thought I could've physically stood up to my dad but the fear was always there. It's terrible and horrifying and no child should have to mentally overcome the barrier of seeing their caregivers as enemies and objects of aggression.
Alfonso, no, it didn't feel good. I mean, I suppose at the time I was satisfied by the outcome, but to be honest, I hate that it had to go that far. I hate them for what they did to me. I tried to forgive and forget... And move on... But to no avail. They refuse to acknowledge what they did as being wrong, and refuse to accept responsibility... So I've cut all ties. Being essentially orphaned doesn't make things better.
I had my moment where I was the one in control, like you in that moment the roles were reversed, my "moment" honestly did more for me than any therapist could ever do. I guess it depends on the situation but so many people will never heal and attempt to maintain relationships and "forgive" their tormentors in the hopes that their abusers will one day "realize" what they've done, and how it was wrong, and finally see that flash of remorse/ regret for the hell they've put them through, to understand what it was to be me, that they'll break down and beg forgiveness. Truly the only thing a bully understands is force, the only thing they respect is fear. I made my tormentor fear me, and in that moment when I was the one standing an they on the ground with fear in their eyes, I knew then an there the finally... finally understood what it was to be in my place. Although they never admitted/ acknowledged it, not with words at least, they didn't have to. Maybe this wasn't the case for you but it was for me, but it was more than just a base primal instinct to inflict pain. Witnessing your tormentor on the ground, witnessing that brief moment of fear, witnessing the closest thing to remorse they had to offer, was more satisfying, gave me more closure, brought me more inner peace, than if they walked in one day and broke down and begged forgiveness at my feet.
Without the mental abuse I went through growing up, I would not have the hardened skin to present myself on UA-cam and gain a following of subscribers. This is the silver lining to how I experienced growing up in my family.
Mom died when I was in the 6th grade - we moved - dad remarried a abusive woman - I became supper religious and relied on faith to get me through some very dark times. When I was 19 or so I moved away from believing in Jesus - and found that that crutch was all that was holding me up. Went through 6+ months of extreme depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, personal mental abuse - But I found my way out, found the girl of my dreams, grew up a little - I got tattoos to improve my self confidence (ex-step mom would pick on us about body image and acne when I was 15 or so) - I found out that I could be happy and live good life without relying on faith. I don't have any answers - but I think good things come along with time. Most of the time.
You're a very kind human being. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I took beatings here and there, but I never got mental abuse like that. Sorry that this happened to you.
Mom's and Dad's are supposed to make a safe place for their kids. The home is sanctuary. We never argue and swear in front of our kids. You as a parent are supposed to be an example to your kids. Love you Boogie.
THE BARBARIAN I'm the first one to say I could have raised my daughter no problem but with our 2 sons I definately rely on my husband. They are 14 and 16
W??????? ..... How & where did you get THIS hate filled comment, from what she said? Hate doesn't resolve anything. If you are being attacked by someone making you look like the "breeder" or "income" which, let's face it, is not going to work. Statistics show, the new education system doesn't work for most boys. Girls are excelling. The tables are turning for women to be the breadwinners. It is wonderful for those who wish to participate in it, the rest need to look into BASIC income because, tech will be replacing all of our jobs here in a minute if we don't blow ourselves up. The "old family values?" Can we just say, LOVE you BOOGIE rather than try to resurrect a dying way of life that caused a lot of harm, to more people than it worked for.
THE BARBARIAN - What era are you living in? Wow. There is so much anger inside of you. Once I was pretty angry like that. Time to explore the ROOT of your OWN FEELINGS. Stop attacking other people, be real with yourself, educate yourself and find someone to talk to that you trust.
THE BARBARIAN Are you so brainwashed by anti-feminist youtubers (sargon of akkad, bearing, ect.) that you legitimately believe that all women do is marry men, divorce them and leach off their money? You keep forgetting that not ALL women divorce men for their cash! A lot of couples divorce for lists of reasons like abuse, financial problems and trust issues. My mom and dad divorced because my mom caught my dad cheating on her, so don't tell me that all women are greedy whores you fucking douche.
Thank you for posting this. My childhood was horrible. I was abused by my family, bullied at school and by people in the community. I was told I was stupid and would never amount to anything. Nobody did anything to help me. At 15 I ran away and my dad played the victim and so I was ostracized for being selfish. I have so much anger about my childhood. My uncle used to take my grandmother on his drug runs and my mom was a nurse who advocated for special needs kids while my step-dad abused me in front of her.
Great video. I had a great home life, for which I am thankful for each day, however suffered relentless bullying for many years of my life. I told my parents, and they did what they could but honestly we all know that parents cannot always put a stop to what young people do. They were supportive and helped me learn to stand up for myself, but it was always a struggle. There are instances that occurred that I have apparently blocked out of my mind. My parents remember me telling them vividly and yet I cant even remember them, even more recent ones from my teens. Terrible things however, so it may be a sign of my brain removing them as they served no purpose than to cause traumatic memories. Traumatic experiences follow a person, they simply just don't fade away over time. It caused me to have severe depression and social anxiety for many years. When the time came for me to leave to college I was excited to start fresh somewhere but had nearly crippling fear and anxiety over the possibility of things happening again. Thankfully they did not, and I met a ton of fantastic people and created a circle of friends that I never thought I could have. Even after in the workplace suffered bullying from coworkers and one manager through my years. I learned it happens in all walks of life but I refused to let it define me. If I couldn't work out a situation to make it stop, I moved on leaving the toxic people behind but always standing up for myself. They cannot and will not define me as a person, and I would not allow them to deny my happiness. Even today in my 30's I still have anxiety around certain situations, however I have learned more coping skills through my years and have the ability to overcome it. I still remember many of the instances I was bullied and made to feel worthless, the struggle to simply go to school, or even out in public for fear of bumping into the people who seemingly made it their goal to make sure I was miserable. I see these as scars from those troubling times, they will be there but the more I fight to overcome them and limit their impact on my life the more faded they become. Life is hard, life can be cruel, but for me I have learned that a sense of self is so important, and that I am worth something and deserve to be as happy as anyone else. Nobody can take that from me, and in those times of self doubt I can say that I can always turn to my friends and family for support. I am blessed for that, and I hope that anyone going through similar or worse situations have somebody to turn to and understand that they are worth something and deserve to be happy in this life. Nobody defines who you are, you do and nobody can take that away.
Those parents think just because they live in a nice house and are able to buy their kids cool toys that THAT is taking care of their children. It isn't. The screaming and cursing and the constant stress those kids are under is not acceptable. The look on that little boys face is heartbreaking. And the dad and mom's response video is not acceptable either. They claim they are blocking ALL the haters. NO. They are blocking sound advice from parents and lot of other people, that know better than to treat their children or any child like that.
And Boogie, bless your heart. I know you can't forget your past but just embrace the now. You have so many people that love and care about you. I wish I had almost 4 million people that loved me.
Sassy Cat stfu your so stupid, the kids he pranked (cody and alex) are extremely rude and disrespectful, his house is a pranking house, they do all these hilarious pranks on each other and they are mostly harmless, I've been subscribed since 20,000 subs and have never hated or found a video harmful or faked. He is a very loving father and buys all his kids XBOX 1's and Ps4's and everything they want, they are spoiled and just because one event happened, doesn't mean that makes him a bad parent
they all love him and he loves them, all the haters obviously only see this ONE video, not the channel so they understand that ONE video instead of the heart in the channel
Potato President I've watched a number of their videos and I'm sorry but you are wrong, there is absolutely at the very least emotional abuse going on in that house. One I watched most recently was their 'Cody gets put up for ADOPTION prank' which is just as disturbing and shows the father clearly has genuine anger issues and is abusing his children, especially picking on Cody (as abusive households tend to pick on one in particular). Wake up dude. They deserve a second chance though in my opinion, they can change.
I lived in Fresno California for a year. I was the only one in class with white skin. And was abused by my peers my, and my Mexican teacher. My teacher refused to teach the class in English even though we were in the US. And was once beaten so bad that I went in the hospital with a concussion and a broken jaw all because I was White.
I can relate to this more than I want to. At 13 I got a meth lab and a 24 pack of Milwaukee Best Ice for my birthday. Switched schools just about every month, kicked out for fighting, in and out of rehab and mental institutions before I was 18. I have tattoos on me I did when I was in middle school, yes, I built a tattoo gun and put ink in myself that I live with, because a boyfriend my mom had told me about people in prison doing it. I'm 27 now, married 8 years. Own a mobile home (judge me...), yes still shitty and poor compared to middle class, but it's mine. Great credit score, new truck, making a living (we owe taxes now, we don't get a refund, we pay). Even taught myself how to write code and am "smart" to most people. Looking back, I would do it all again. The fights, the drugs, the abuse, the *wont say even on the internet*. It has made me appreciate so much more. And not only that, but understand life and people and the edge of society because I was there. When you live in a place people call "hog pin" or "the bottoms", you see and understand the low end. Boggie2988 is an inspiration to where I could be, to what I'm working for now. UA-cam isn't me, and I am still working a shitty min wage job for a toxic 'company'. But my mobile game is coming along, not quick but it's something. And this guy will *kinda* be in it. And hopefully one day I can quit my shitty job and do what I love just like this guy.
That's wonderful man. No judgment on the mobile home, you own it and that is something to actually own your home. You have made it so far in your life and you are an inspiration.
In highschool I had a vice principle who hated me. She would do whatever she could to make my life terrible. She would punish me whenever someone else was caught bullying me and moved my locker to be next to the "special" kids in order to make things worse. This made me seriously contemplate suicide. Luckily, I didn't and when I moved out of 8th grade, I was no longer involved with her (my school had different vice principles for every grade). But when I thought I was done with her, she was transferred to the elementary school that my little brother was attending. She then started going after him. She only stopped once my parents threatened a lawsuit against the school board. But even then she didn't lose her job because of the Teacher's union. During that time was when I went from being a B+ to A- student, to being a C- student. When I moved forward in highschool I was mentally a year behind everyone else as I didn't learn anything in 8th grade. Math which was my best subject became my worst subject. She fucked over my entire academic life and drastically changed the direction of my education. There is no one in this world I hate more than her, and she is the only one I actually wish physical harm on.
my house burnt down a few years ago, we lost nearly everything sentimental to us. We're currently living in a shitty rented place while the house is being rebuilt. unfortunately, we had a burglary that took the last of our sentimental jewellery and brexit made all our workers leave. the house is currently at a stand still. I can't play games with fire in them or struggle to sprint past. I'm also struggling with mental health. but! things are getting better, got into my uni of choice and I finally made a step to help myself with counselling. you helped a lot in that choice boogie, thanks for being real 🌟
when I was 10-11, we had a fire in our house because of bad wiring. Our TV started to burn, the window was open and so there was a lot of O2... I noticed when the fire was like a meter high. I was home alone with my grand grandmother, who had dementia. I tried to call my father's work, but couldn't reach him. I went outside, took our dogs outside too, and was shouting for the neighbors to call the firemen. It all ended well (I mean, nobody died, just one of our dogs managed to run away - we never saw her since), but for ~0.5-1 year I couldn't stay home alone when anything at all (except the fridge) was plugged in. I was hysterical asking others to come back and to pull it all out before leaving. For a couple of years we even pulled everything out from the sockets before going to sleep. To this day we pull everything out (but the fridge) before leaving the house. I was afraid of gas burners and couldn't turn the fire on myself. And I studied Chemistry in uni, so we had burners everywhere - it was a pain to learn to use them, because up to 18 I was still afraid of them - 2 years after starting uni. But what I can say is definitely this: it does get better. I used A4 paper to light the burners, then mantel matches, and then went down to the usual ones. Just... don't be ashamed to admit that you're scared, it's totally normal. Do what you've got to do, and it will be OK. Best of luck to you!
paul vernardo your comment is irrelevant and incorrect. Immigrants are usually ideal workers because they want to prove themselves to their foreign country of choice that they can work quickly and efficiently for a lower wage. Although in this instance I highly doubt that immigrants were working on his house.
I have been reading these comments for almost 30 minutes and I honestly have no words to describe how I feel. Although there was shouting and yelling in my house, my parents never abused me the way that some people have described here. They had problems (financially) but they were always supportive and caring of my sister and I and motivated us to be good, kind people. They gave me a good childhood and it makes me mad to see how other people in these comments suffered at the hands of their parents. To those who endured abuse and neglect yet had the courage to post your experiences here, I say thank you for your words and commend you for your bravery. You are the master of your life and despite having gone through so much pain, here you are, rising above it. Carry on, everyone.
I had a damn good childhood. I had parents who made certain i didn't want for anything. I was given freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.
BUT... I had a kid i was kind of friends with (I wish I was more of a real friend to him). He was neglected. He almost always was wearing dirty clothes and almost never had a real lunch to eat. He was picked on in school to the point that it was depressing to watch. This was at 8-9 years old.
I was a bit of an outcast and kept my distance at school to avoid being picked on myself.
He hung himself at the age of 9.
I think about him any time people talk about standing up for others, I wonder if he'd still be alive had I had the courage to say stand up with/for him. Could I have saved him? Am I as much to blame?
I feel like i am sometimes.
Ben Heffel that's a real difficult situation, I don't think you can be that hard on yourself considering your age, you were far too young to understand.
When I read your story, I thought about myself since I try to be friends with all of outcasts since I know they may or may not have any real friends, thank you for bringing this up
Ben Heffel DO. NOT. FEEL. BAD. You were nine. They dont teach nine year olds about child abuse. They teach teachers. It is the esucators fault for not stepping in or notifying someone, they had every oppurtunity to. YOU WERE NINE.
Thanks yall, sometimes I think we underestimate how long and/or strong of an event can affect kids in particular.
My childhood was kind of weird since I was an army brat. We only lived places like six months at a time. So, my mom and my big brother became my only friends. We were insanely close, they were literally my entire world.
Then we were stationed abroad, mom got a job, and it was just me and my big brother a lot of the time. So when puberty hit him and he didn't want an annoying little sister hanging around anymore, I was crushed.
Until he started touching me. It took me seven years, until I was thirteen to discover that letting him touch me in exchange for playing a board game or riding our bikes was wrong. Once I started resisting our friendship was lost, but the abuse stopped. I haven't told a soul about this, and I probably never will. I'll just let it drown in the thousands of comments on a video - this way someone, somewhere knows what happened. For some reason that helps.
I'm sorry for your pain, and I wish I could help somehow. I hope that you find some closure one day, but just know that one person cares :)
I'm happy you feel relief sharing this and I hope you're safe and okay, wherever you are.
fighting~ you're super brave for telling people. whoever you are, wherever you are, i'm on your side.
Swap army for navy. Swap brother for sister.
I'm sorry you went through that too.
Silje & all those who know the same, a7i20ci7y if only you could know... it is the SHAME that destruction happens. Working as a drug & alcohol counselor in the recovery field, I was confronted with over half my clients who dealt with issues of this type. In my own research I found the behavior common. There were so many examples of experimental sibling & cousins, relatives & the most damaging into adulthood 100% of the time (When similar in ages, experimentation is normal, not to be confused with a vast disparity in age range or power, such as a parent or authority figure ie a betrayal of trust. Our culture & religions make it, taboo as an open conversation.) is not being able to talk about it. Sort out the feelings, desires, the fact that it felt good & there is pleasure involved. A host of emotions & complex aspects of our human chemistry that we aren't encouraged to share with one another without judgement. This doesn't have to be the act that guides your subconscious into the rest of your adult life. There are safe people, who you can open up with & create. Write. Draw. Paint. Whatever you do that brings you joy, it will help you sort the journey to the other side. PLEASE, know how not alone you are. Peace ~
I grew up in a family that was misinformed on how to eat properly. I now at 24 found myself at 395 lbs. and decided i needed to make a change. 9 months ago i started that journey, i am down 70 lbs and wont ever stop. We all face our past in our future.
Krashy that's not healthy the average human male is 170 pounds you went way overboard man.
riley bailey No shit idiot, that's why he lost 70 lbs and is still working on it.
Congratulations! That's wonderful.
Krashy how tall are you?
Krashy Congratulations!
I was sexually abused growing up, and I didn't tell anyone until like 3 years ago. my abuser is in prison now.. but my family is completly divided... I lost so many people when I finally stood up.. having to walk into a court room to testify, and see my family sit on his side of the court room behind him because they thought he needed more support then I did was the most heartbreaking thing... still to this day half my family wont talk to me because my abuser had a lot of money, and his money was more important to them then what happened to me. When people who have known my family and stuff for a long time tell me when they find out, that they saw all these signs and that they knew the whole time.... it hurts so much! if you knew then why didn't you help me? why didn't anyone help?.. I feel so bad for that little kid, and I'm so glad that people are standing up for him. if you ever feel like a child is being abused, please speak up. I don't care how awkward it is, or how much you don't want to get involved.. if you turn the other way and don't say anything, I can promise you that when that child grows up, they are going to wonder why you didn't care enough to speak up for them.
I'm sorry that happened to you prayers for you
Thank you for sharing your story. You're strong as hell and I hope you know that. The people who didn't speak up are just as complicit (at least in my mind) as the people who hurt you. My mother was beaten by her father and her mother, to this day (I'm talking 40 years later) says that my mom is just "exaggerating".
I think it has to do with the fact that if these people admit that they saw something and looked the other way, they're monsters too. And admitting that is just hard and awful and most people don't want to admit that kind of thing.
You're stronger than the monsters. You've killed those dragons, and you're free now.
you did the right thing. not only for you but for the others this person has hurt or would have hurt. these things dont happen in a vacume. someone else knew eathet because they saw or because it happened to them to. I sometimes think about when I was touched ( I dont know how to else say it) and this other kid got it so much worse. maby if I had said something I could have stopped it
I am so happy that your abuser is locked away and God bless!!
I'm so sorry for what happened to you, may I say something? That other part of the family isn't your really family. Why? They're fucking greedy, why would they not care about you? A real person who cost more then money. Who's more important because they'll have more memories of you then money. That's not a real family. The real family is someone who cares about you no matter what.
I grew up with a dad who was (and mostly is) an alcoholic and also very emotionally and verbally abusive. I remember there were times when he would just go on yelling rampages and my brother was just a little guy and I felt like I had to protect him. We'd just cry until he stopped. Then there were the nights I'd hear him and my mom just yelling like CRAZY! It was terrifying. He would hit her and my mom would be crying and yelling. And he'd say the same thing as those kids in the video "At least I don't hit you." It's messed up my relationships, it's completely tarnished my relationship with my father. I still have a lot to heal from but I can safely say I heal a little more every year.
I think every abuser says that. "At least I don't ___".
I was supposed to be grateful that they didn't beat me, only hit me. I was supposed to be grateful that they supposedly only hit me when I deserved it and it "wasn't that hard". That I could only be abused if I was being beaten until I was bloody and bruised and/or when I did nothing wrong.
Know that it's totally fine to avoid your parents indefinitely... You owe them absolutely nothing.
Shayla Contla This is so true. My dad would tell me and my family all them time "There are worst parents than me" or "I've never hit you", but he was still mental and verbally abusing me and my family. Just because you don't physically harm someone, doesn't mean you're not hurting them. And I think most abusers use those excuses as a shield because the abused ones don't know any better and doubt themselves.
Same thing, but my dad never hit my mom, just me and my brother. Either a big cowboy belt or skinny work belt.
damn, im so sorry to hear that. when i grow up, im not gonna go near beer anyways. I've seen so many ways that it can affect somebody aswell as the rest of their family.
Boogie, I don't normally comment and if you read this I'd be so happy...those kids when they said, "At least they don't get beat," makes me think of my own story. Until I started therapy a year ago I didn't know that my childhood was abnormal. I was spoiled, my parents were alive but it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. My mom was addicted to painkillers, my dad abusing food. They were overprotective of me (still are) and are dependent on me for a lot of things because of sheer laziness and their own denial. I learned from therapy that yeah, I didn't have the most horrific childhood but it was still hard to deal with. It still hurt. I learned that there are red flags that should have caused concern. To hear you tell me that I deserve a happy ending really lifts my spirits. I needed to hear that. I really did. Thank you, Boogie. You're wonderful.
+Emily R I read this. Thank you so much for sharing with me.
Emily R I think this community is the most loving and caring on UA-cam, thank you everyone ❤
Emily R I have a very similar upbringing(I'm still only 15) except my dad left when I was 7
Burgs It gets better, I promise. You're strong and resilient. I'm open to talk if you ever need someone. I really mean it.
I hate the term "prank" now because it has become an excuse in people's heads to do terrible shit.
A good prank is like a long joke. You get drawn in, confused, and at the end you laugh. It isn't someone yelling abuse at you and then saying "I didn't mean it" at the end.
on youtube, so true
Except it's not "sorry", it's "you are now obliged to forgive me".
Joshua Lowe I just got your mom pregnant haha, woah easy it's just a prank bro
I'm a grown man who literally never cries and this made me tear the fuck up. Sub'd.
RoyalOcean You sir are a bitch.
Overdrive02 Apparently being an alpha male.
@Serpentine Alpha males admit when they cry and feel no shame in it. And its the ones who pretend to be an alpha male are the opposite. So, You sir are a true bitch. =]
Serpentine No you’re not an alpha male ur the ass male.
I had an absent father. I was severely bullied. I had an alcoholic parent. I was kicked out of my home. I moved a lot and never stayed in the same home for more than 3 years. I was beaten. I was tied to a chair and had my hair cut. I had an abusive stepmother. Someone killed my cat to make me cry. I was abducted. I was forced to watch a friend of mine getting beat up by his father. My best friend and aunt killed herself the day before my coming of age ceremony. I self-harmed. I was engaged to someone who cheated on me with several of my close friends. I was placed in a psychiatric hospital for two weeks. I tried to kill myself.
My happy ending?
I have a bachelor degree in child protective services to make sure I can stop this from happening to anyone else.
Take all that pain and suffering and forge it into something better, because I am living proof;
You can achieve great things even if you're handed a bad stack of cards.
Things will get better, I promise.
Inspirational, truly.
Simon Pettersen this gave me chills I am happy you gotten your happy ending.
well done man
Simon Pettersen I just hope you don't automatically assume every situation is abuse and remove children from parents that are trying their best.
My wife's aunt came up to us, demanded my wife give custody of our oldest (because the youngest meant nothing?) or she would contact cps and have both kids removed, her cousin then threatened my life. She refused cps later investigated us. The allegations were physical/mental abuse. Because when our (softball playing) girls talk back they get 5 push-ups. We make them do chores and clean their own rooms. The oldest later admitted to telling her aunt she was abused because she hates her school, and because we don't let our girls date, have phones, or social media.
Cps sent us a letter that we received on Christmas Eve stating that the allegations were unfounded.
So please don't make snap judgements, if you really care about kids, snap judgements won't help.
I can relate to wanting to help. I'm trying to get into law school so I can work as a prosecutor and then volunteer my time as a child advocate. Especially since my state no longer has a child advocacy program.
Good to know you've stayed humble.
I'm the daughter of two extremely loving and supportive parents. Though I have severe depression they have always been there for me and supported me in my darkest days. What makes this amazing is that both of them grew up in abusive households. My mom was mental, emotionally, physically and sexually abused, my dad went through the same but not sexually abused. When they got married and before they had kids they had a long discussion on what kind of parents they would be and how they would break the cycle. They went on to have four children. All of us know that we are loved, supported, and have parents that will always be there if we need them. The reason I am sharing this is because I hope that their story gives someone hope for their future, and that they themselves can have the family they wish for. It won't be easy, my parents had to go through therapy to deal with what happened to them and to create parenting strategies, but it was worth it. They created a beautiful family with an environment of love, acceptance and laughter. That can be yours too.
That's a really cool story. - It's like your folks were taught how NOT to parent, and they made good use of it. That's a lovely silver lining for folks to think about when it comes to having children of their own, thanks for sharing. I grew up with a lot of harships and abuse, and I get inspired by folks who speak about it done right. :)
Yeah I had a similar situation, two amazing parents, a mother who was raised in an intense sibling abuse situation, and a dad who survived a neglectful childhood that included drugs addiction, being used and mental disease. Even though we were poor, my parents were absolutely golden. I like to think my parents tried very hard to not be their parents, while focusing on what they thought we needed as we got older (like being stricter on grades or dating, while letting us have relative freedom and a lack of curfew at 18 as well as actually trusting us to make the right decisions as they worked us up to more and more "adultness") The result was that I feel like I not only grew stronger from the struggles of being poor (and thus learned what not to do in regards to education and finance) but also learned how to actually parent. I don't think too many people can say that and its a gift I'm eternally grateful for. I'm glad that more people actually had this kind of experience, especially since I never really saw it from friend's families growing up. I gained a little bit for hope today. Thank you.
Lucy Post this comment gives many people hope.
Some mental diseases are genetic, if you come from "extremely loving and supportive parents" and you're still fucked up then you must have rolled poorly on the character creation screen. Better reset game and roll again. kek
Don't blame yourself! My father and my aunt were both abused by my grandparents, but my aunt decided to break the cycle. However, my cousin and I are both very similar in thought process. While she is far more open than I am and will defend herself and show emotion, we both get depressive episodes. Her mother also had to be institutionalized where my father was still able to function in society. Your families genes can play a huge part in your mental state.
And your story did give me hope. My current bf often worries that he won't be a good father because he doesn't want to accidentally be like his father. We've both agreed that we will not have children until we are both mentally stable and happy so we can love our child will all our heart.
um... I don't want this to come off as searching for pity, but I want to share my story in solidarity with Boogie.
So, I lost my dad was I was 4. Cancer. It really sucked. My mom was never the same after that. She quickly remarried my step dad, who I love. Within a year, I was sexually abused by my step-brother and step-cousin. Repeatedly. It was awful. My mother is verbally and mentally abusive as well, and it made our home life really shitty. Then, two years ago, I was falsely accused of sexual assault. It was a really dark part of my life. I'm much better now, and having been to therapy I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. But living through that kind of shit is hard.
Thank you for reading, if you did.
It felt good to get all of that out.
Its hard to defend yourself when you don't have loving parents. I'm sorry you have to pass for all this. Hope you're safe now, if not please tell it to someone you know loves you and care about you. Aunt, grandma, neighbor, someone you think is gonna help you.
You should try harder to connect with real people in addition to utube. You seem to be seeking validation and like-minded people. Problem is with utube, it seldom leads to a real, face-to-face interaction with a bonafide human being. Good luck.
I'm so sorry for everything you went through Boogie. You're an incredible person and an inspiration to me.
GoCrazyDontMindIfIDo this comment was simple and beautiful.
and more people liked someone bragging about their parents...
GoCrazyDontMindIfIDo same when he posted the draw my life video it was soooo touching.
Boogie, the trauma you've experienced and the stories you've shared with us are not in vain. These videos help keep me going.
My parents were abusive and neglectful. I've been struggling with my mental health since I was very young, and when I started self harming as a teen, my dad mocked me for it. The only time my parents touched me or my sisters, it was to slap us or pull our hair. Once my dad sat on my little sister's chest and covered her mouth.
Being raised like this killed my self worth. When I was eighteen, I got away from my parents as quickly as I could, moving in with a guy I'd only known for a few weeks. He was abusive. Mentally, emotionally, and sexually. But I had nowhere else to go. I stayed for over two years. We were impoverished, I was grossly underweight, malnourished, demoralized, defeated.
I'm 24 now, and even though I haven't seen him for four years, I'm still trying to cope with that abuse. Lately it just replays over and over in my mind and I obsess over it. I don't know how to deal with it. I've struggled with drug usage and have attempted suicide as a result. Now I'm attending therapy a minimum of 3 hours a week, and am medicated. I'm fighting and trying as hard as I can to get past all this.
Your words mean a lot, Boogie.
You're an amazing person for fighting so hard to work through this! My story is quite similar Keep fighting!!
You are so amazing and strong and i tip my hat to you for overcoming all of that. Medicine is hard and it can kick your ass but I'm sooo happy you're getting help and you deserve a happy story and ending, even though there will always be bumps.
Hope you have a good day and life dear!
keep it up. things will get better. some day you will be with some one who deserves you and can relate to you. it may take a while but there are still good people in this world and you deserve to be loved. just remember you can be anyone you want. you can change anything you want. use the past to drive you. be determined to be happy and have a good life. and know that you are capable of love and there are people out there who love or are willing to love you. Also the things that have happened to you are NOT your fault. you didn't choose any of that. that is not normal and you don't deserve any of that. you deserve better. Be a fighter and use your past to inspire others. God loves you.
Xx BigBoss xX how could you say that? There must be something wrong with you. This person is going through something and the least decent thing you could do is respect that. Please think about what you comment online, it could seriously do harm to anyone in the future.
My dad was real abusive when i was young. He neglected my sisters and I, he screamed at us over the littlest shit, punched holes in walls and beat us. He used to dangle my sisters when they were babies over railings, threatening to drop them while I begged him not to drop them, and I have a severe fear of heights because of it. I was so afraid of him, I wouldnt speak up when I saw my sisters getting hurt by him, though it happened once where I came home from school to see my sister getting spanked and she was screaming and crying and I finally got the balls to stop it. I bit him, scratched him, fought him with all my 8 year old self had to get him off her. My mom never once tried to help us. She would just watch and cry. Never once did she do anything to fix it. I had to push for the divorce, I had to protect my sisters, and I have a hard time forgiving her for that. The good thing I can say came from it all was after the day I fought back against him, I wasn't afraid anymore. And I refuse to let myself be.
You are an incredibly strong person. I'm glad.
Awesome that you were able to stand up to that prick you unfortunately had to call "dad." Very metal \m/ Hope he was arrested or some form of justice was enacted other than just divorce.
Grayson H I wish I had a big bro like you
I don't know why this made me tear up I never cry. I guess I try to protect my sisters from everything and it hurts when I fail so I understand what you went through on that level. I'm so unbelievably happy you had the courage to protect your sister at a young age. Thank you so much for just existing
boogie is the realest person i know, the most accomodating and kind youtuber. brings a tear to my jaded eyes to know he had such a rough childhood. Fucking amazing.
just wanna hug this guy
Same, i wish i could've done something to prevent what happened to him, but i was probally not alive when it happened and i live on the other side of the world. Its so unfair, at least he is happy now and getting better day by day.
123321arjun hchvfcvdvexec
There's nothing real about playing both sides and keeping it safe by playing in the middle.
123321arjun there is something real disclosing a hurtful past to a bunch of anonymous people online.
I had an abusing father, the one time I tried to defense myself at age 10 my father hit me so hard he K.Od me and misplaced my jaw, My mom left him because he cheated on her, and recently I knew he died some time ago, I'm 31 years old and I don't wanna have kids of my own because I have anger issues and I fear that I could become the same "monster" my dad was to me
Manuel Del rivero Thank you for not having children because of your issues. Thats nice of you.
Manuel Del rivero bro I'm 19 and Ive always suffered from anxiety and anger issues, and when I was 16 I ended actually doing something with a girl, which for me was rare because I was always to pussy to even ask a girl out, she for some reason just genuinely liked me and me and her had sex but because we both didn't really know what we were doing she got pregnant and the one time I actually do something with a girl I like it goes the worst way possible, but we dealt with it and despite having them issues she helped me get the anxiety for the most part away, and as for the anger issues I've never once felt the need to hit or do anything like that to my child because it's all love, my dad suffered from anger issues too and he never got violent to me, it's all about keeping it in control bro and my girlfriend did that for me, people like your father who are abusive most probable do it from a mixture of things, like alcohol, maybe drugs, not keeping anger in control and just not finding love for their kids, like you said he cheated, you don't have to be like your father everyone's different, you should be proofing to yourself that you can be twice the man he ever was instead of shying away form ever doing that, and if you do ever then violent just remind yourself of how you'd feel if you were the person you were being violent to, how you would be scared If you were them
Manuel Del rivero That's a wise Decision
Max Roven What the fuck?
Thats sad bro
I've had a very good life. Parents were fantastic, father yelled at me when I fucked up but otherwise was a good dad and still is a good dad. Unfortunately depression hit me when I was being bullied at school. Parents separating didn't help. Depression got so bad I attempted suicide twice. I still deal with it to this very day. Ultimately what made me not suicidal anymore was that my family would be torn asunder if I killed myself. My family has fantastic lives and I don't want them to be fucked up for the rest of their lives and share the same mentality as me because I killed myself. They deserve better, and luckily that's the only thing that made me want to live, my family. Unfortunately for others they don't have that comfort and I am so sorry for those of you that don't have that anchor. I really am. Stay safe everyone and cherish each day like it was your last.
Man! It might sound cheesy, but it get's better!!! Join groups, find new activities, try to meet new people and dump those from your life who hurt you. Don't be afraid to begin new things, move to a new place.... Just try to change your life. Maybe you not gona be happy right away, but its better than nothing
you did a great thing for your family not commiting suicide. you probably saved lives doing so.
what an awesome post. I'm in a similar situation.. and just thinking about my family having to deal with my suicide stop me from doing it. I dont want my parents thinking wrong of themselves about what they did wrong that got me to this point. They dont deserve this. Nobody does.
Tom Rush Respect. You are one strong person.
bob bobby everything will be ok just think about everything good I know that sounds dumb but it's true. O have not experienced what you are going through but I know this "what ever you do never give up on yourself" that is a promise you have to make yourself:) I hope is have helped the slightest bit . :) have a aAMAZING AMAZING DAY.
I grew up with verbally and physically abusive parents, mostly my mother. My father just yelled mostly and he knew how she treated us but he did not care, my grandma also knew and little to nothing about it. My two earliest memories are (1) being two years old and my uncle giving me a stuffed animal, and (2) my parents having sex in the bed next to mine knowing I was wide awake. I was afraid from the noises and the stuff I saw so I cried and called for them. She came over to my bed and gave me a slap in the face and showed me her first and told me to shut up or I will get it. Throughout my whole childhood they did that in front of me, I still have nightmares about it and needless to say I knew what sex was at an early age. They would also watch pornographic movies in front of me. Very explicit ones, I knew a lot of things a kinder gardener should not have to know. She would also openly discuss their sexual interactions and talk about other peoples sexual interactions with the intention of making me uncomfortable and then beat me for being such a perv and listening to her. Ever since I can remember (2 years old) my mother beat me every single day until I was 16, then it was more of a now and then kind of thing. She would not feed us properly, she locked me in a closet for telling my grandma how she treated us, at nine years old she encouraged me to become anorexic and I did for many many years (I have health problems because of that now) she also knew that I made myself throw up and cut myself but she did not care. She said that as long as my dad did not find out it was ok. She used to beat me with a steel toe work boot on my back (I have had chronic back pain ever since) she would make us kneel in bare cement in our bare knees for hours on end. I remember passing out from it in one occasion. By the time we were allowed to get back up our legs were numb and it cramped, it would hurt when the blood could finally flow into the rest of the leg, it would also pop in a painful way like if the knee would have locked out of place (I am still not sure why that happened exactly). I too thought it was normal. She has told us numerous times that we are the biggest mistakes she has ever done and that we ruined her life and she wishes she could have kicked us out into the street and never hear from us again. She has made comments like that in rage ever since I can remember. She choked us, put pillows over our heads, she would have us (elementary and kinder children) clean the backyard (which contained poisonous herbs and scorpions and tarantulas) under the scorching heat with no sunblock and no caps and unless she was in a 'good' mood we were not allowed to drink water. She would beat us with her closed fist, throw us to the ground, to the wall, lock us outside in the middle of the night (we lived in a very rural area, I am talking about there were wild animals and we had only two neighbors). She once cracked open the head of my toddler sibling because he was being potty trained and could not yet wipe himself. When my father insisted that she teach us how to ride a bike she would toss us to the ground and beat us when we could not maintain ourselves straight. And if we fell she would kick and pin us down. She knew when and where to do it though, in public you would have never guessed it from her, but behind closed doors, at home, in the car, under the table, whispering in our ears, she was making us miserable. She would tell my siblings and I things about each other and make us fight each other, and it pains me so much but the truth is that we as siblings were horrible to each other as well. That was all we knew, we thought it was the norm. We said horrible things to each other and beat each other in the same violent matter as she did. We stopped when we realized things were not ok but it still happened for many years. Then we tried to defend each other from her but I mean, we were just kids. This is just half of the story, there are some other things which I do not even wish to talk about. When I saw the abusive parents video I saw myself in Cody, I saw my siblings in Cody, I saw his frustration, embarrassment, anger, sadness, I saw his need for love and care. It brought back so many memories that I have been suppressing for two years now. I do not have anything else to say but thank you @boogie2988 for making this video and sharing your encouraging words.
I am so sorry :( No child should ever have to go through what you did it's reprehensible!
That is abhorrent. It is disgusting that she would put you through that. My mother went through a similar thing when she was growing up. My grandmother, the abuser now denies anything even happened, even though she has admitted it to me years ago when I was about 10. I recently found out my mum tried to kill herself last year because grandma kept denying it ever happened and that was really getting to her and preventing her from moving forward. For decades they had just kept their distance from each other and not talked about it at all but her psychologist recommended she confront her about it. Now I refuse to talk to my grandma at all, which is sad because she is getting older but she is still emotionally abusing mum in a way by denying it ever happened so good riddance as far as I'm concerned. Your mother deserves nothing from you after what you have been put through
I am so sorry to hear that about your mother, and thank you for your kind words. My mother accepts and justifies what she did one day and then on another day she completely denies it so I can imagine how frustrating it is. I hope your mother finds closure.
I ended up removing my full name from UA-cam because I got paranoid that she might see it and confront me. I feel better after letting it all out and sharing it with people who do not know me personally without fear of judgement. I am now in college and saving almost every penny I can so I can move out and help my siblings do the same. If I can then you can too, hopefully. I always saw education as a way to escape so I have hopes that it will soon pay off as well as my part time job so i can move as far away as possible. To everyone taking the time to read and comment, thank you so much. Like I said, there is a certain comfort in sharing this with people who do not know me.
C whoever the hell u are man ur a solider
I'm in my 40's now, and it's been a long time since I've had a serious, hard flashback to being a little kid, listening to my mother being abused, but listening to Phil on the way home yesterday nearly made me pull over (I listens to youtube videos on my phone on the way home, like they are podcasts) and even though I wasn't watching the video, I still nearly had a flashback, just from listening. I got physically sick. I cannot believe anyone would do that to their kid and not know it's abuse. That mother is the absolute worst. I cannot believe the things she says to her children in the name of pranking someone. And I can't believe there are people who would defend them.
Bettie Turner She isn't the biological mom though.. She is an evil stepmom.
I'm in my early 30's and I JUST posted on Phil's video that this flared up some old PTSD. See my name? Hearing the way they spoke to that kid, felt like listening to an excerpt from my own past. It's interesting to see that I wasn't the only one.
we are not alone.....
This whole thing is sad as hell. It makes me feel a bit better knowing that even though we can't change the past for you and everyone else who's had a bad childhood, hopefully we can help these kids and any others like it. Aside from seeing people being able to come together through common experiences, it's the only bit of good I can think of that comes from this.
Bettie Turner I almost puked, I could feel it. I can see flash backs too sometimes. Very few, but it's I guess just something I have to deal with. I empathize with you. :)
I was sexually abused growing up.. My sister did it to me over and over for about three years before she got in a position where she couldn't anymore. My parents didn't find out until I was 16 (10 years after it happened). The first thing they did was make sure I was okay and they held me until I stopped crying. The second thing they did was text my sister and tell her she was no longer to be a part of our family. I've been so fortunate to have what I have. And even though I don't have that happiness and fulfillment yet, I have faith that I will.
Hearing someone say that my happy ending is coming has me ready to cry my eyes out. Thank you
yup. im not even unhappy just got me emotional! feel better you two!
Mike he's such a sweetheart for saying that I want to give him a hug
Matthew Harwood thank you!
Yea i definitely needed to hear that. My life has been utter trash the last 10 years.
thank you for making me tear up! I hope your alright
I grew up a military brat, and while things weren't perfect I know my parents always tried their best. my farther would get angry and yell sometimes, but nothing mean. he was just loud.
My wife however (who died in an accident last November) has told me countless stories of what she went through as a child. The thing that stood out the most (and there was a lot) was how her uncle sexually abused her and her mother refused to believe her. Some years later it happened to her half brother as well. Then is high school she was raped and her mother took the rapists side.
She had a history of self harm, because it made her feel more real, more legitimate. that her pain was real. One day when we were still just friends in college, she texted me saying she might not be coming tomorrow, that she might have cut too deep. I told her I'd make sure to get any work she might miss and she should bandage and clean herself up and just rest. She was expecting to be judged, to be called dumb. She came to school the next day just to show me that she made it through the night.
Even after we were married she struggled, I found her drunk in the bathroom one night with the kitchen knife trying to cut vertically down her arm. Thank god our knives were dull. She was having flash backs to being abused by get uncle, of her rapists face, of her mother screaming at her. I held her there, told her I couldn't live in a world she chose to leave. I told her I know there is nothing I can do to take away the pain, but I would do everything I could to make the future better.
From then on she would come to me if she had thoughts, I would leave work early for her. Slowly they stopped being as frequent. She had more "glow" to her. I don't really have a message with any of this. I just miss her. I just really hope I actually helped her, that the happiness she found was real before the end.
MikenterLP I'm so sorry for your loss. She must have been thankful to have you. It's amazing what one person can do to help another person.
You have helped her. You did more than you could possibliy do to help her, but the damage on her health was already done, and for all the help you could muster, she wasn't in the right mind to get that help.
I know it sounds like i'm berating her for that, i'm not.
Sometimes being victim of abuse, of any kind, damages us in ways that it's unfixable.
She married you, she seeked you for help, she talked to youa bout her most fears and pains. To you, and anyone else, because she knew you would be there for her.
It is not your fault not being able to fix what her abusers have damaged, and nonone knows what better could ahve been done.
Don't doubt, EVER, that things could've gone differently.
Don't doubt EVER that you didn't enough.
There should be more people like you that actually and actively DO something instead of just acknowledge and turn head around to not see what's happening.
I am sorry for your loss, and none of my words could even get closer to make you feel better, i know.
But know that: a strenger from the internet, hearing bits of your story, and having himself going thru similar mental health problems is telling you: THANK YOU for who you are.
I am crying while reading your story. The fact that she told you all this is in my eyes the evidence that you helped a lot. You believed her, and that is way more than her closest family did for her. You were there for her.
you seem like the only reason she knows peace now sir
I wasn't expecting such nice comments. Honestly when I posted this I thought that I was rambling and would just annoy everyone. Thank all of you.
A couple things that I feel like I would misunderstand if I was reading what I said. She died in an accident and didn't take her life in the end. What a twist of fate... I know I helped her, it's just I still wonder if maybe I could have done more to make her more happy. I don't know like get her a pony or some shit. (A bit of an exaggeration) It doesn't help the month of October I had to work 60-70 hour weeks, so I have this regret that I didn't spend enough time with her. It's hard not to want more time when they're gone. But I'm starting to ramble again hijacking a conversation topic with my own...
You are an amazing man
Melanie Murphy Yes he is
Melanie Murphy hello doge
my mother was bipolar, alcoholic, and unmedicated, and my father was a meth-addicted sociopath. he had abandoned his other two children and though my mom left him when i was four, she only stayed with him that long because she was so afraid he would abandon me, too. i lived with her most of the time in an apartment. she had a violent and unpredictable temper, and was often too depressed, drunk, or hungover to really be there for me. i stayed with my dad on weekends while he slept off meth binges and i sat in the living room alone, too afraid of his temper to ask for food or wake him up when i was upset. both parents were incredibly neglectful and emotionally and verbally abusive, and my father often told me that he'd love to beat me if he didn't think he'd get in trouble for it.
my relationship with my mother was volatile and strained. we had blowout fights every few days starting when i was around seven or eight, and then her boyfriend became a steady figure in our lives. he was an alcoholic pill addict and they often fought about me, fights i would listen in on and panic over. i hardly ever slept and i binge ate to cope. dad went from girlfriend to girlfriend and couch to couch, still on meth and with the same violent unpredictability my mom had. i didn't feel safe anywhere, and my grades suffered because of it, which only gave them more reason to be upset with me. i started dissociating to handle stress, and it became a constant state; i don't remember hardly any of my childhood, and have had to have it explained to me because of this. i'm still working to break myself of the habit.
my father sobered up when i was about 10 but wasn't any better to me. he was still angry and loud and violent, constantly threatening me and never apologizing for the things he did. life carried on. when i was 13 or so my mother was put on abilify, which made her MUCH more stable, though our relationship was still broken. i had been consistently failing classes since 3rd grade, which was a huge strain on our relationship; everyone thought i was lazy, but i was trying as hard as i could. i just couldn't focus because of my dissociation and the stress at home. when i was 14 i told her i was suicidal and i was checked into a behavioral health system, and though it was scary, it gave us a chance to sit down and evaluate where we both were. she started to see things from my point of view and has spent the years since then vehemently fighting to give me a better life and to make up for the time we spent hurting.
i came out to my parents in my later teens. my mother has been a strong and consistent ally, but my father has never supported it, going as far as to make passing jokes about beating or killing me for it. only recently have i realized how badly the rejection really hurt me, but my mother has made up for it tenfold in her love and support.
my father has never acknowledged or apologized for how he treated me. he has spent my entire childhood lying to me and manipulating me and the people i care about. just last night, my mother finally got the chance to explain to me that all the abuse i had internalized from him wasn't my fault; he's a liar, a manipulator, and likely won't ever care about the hurt he's caused.
this morning, i made the decision to cut him out of my life, at least for the time it takes me to come to terms with how he hurt me. tonight, youtube recommended me this. i think it was fate that i could watch this video today, after what a big step it's really been. it means so much more than i can say to hear about how we all can have a happy ending, and i think i'm really getting there. i'm going to graduate high school next month, something i thought i'd never do. i have a strong and incredible relationship with my mother, a great support system, and an incredible boyfriend. i'm back on medication and much stable for it. i'm a talented writer, a strong human being, and better than my father ever will be. it's hard and i think it's always going to be, but looking back, i'm in a better place than i ever thought i'd see myself in. i'm happy and i can't wait to see where i grow from here. thank you, boogie.
xoxox
I don't know you and never heard of you. I came here from Philip Defranco and I must say... this is such an honest and encouraging video. We get bombarded with so much drama and crap on UA-cam but I loved hearing your story and how you were able to overcome (and still overcome on a daily basis). It's an ongoing battle but as long as you continue to move forward and not let the past overtake you, then you WILL be okay! 😄 Much love and respect from a random stranger, trolling the internet. 😉❤💕
Boogie you inspired my "draw my life" video a few years back.
talking your abuse gave me the strength to talk about mine.
my life wasn't normal or ideal but my future is brighter and i make sure to have a better relationship with my boys, then i had with my parents.
thank you for being honest about this situation, when i watched phil's video
i saw nothing funny about how all of those kids especially codie was being treated,
if they can do that on camera, in front of millions of people imagine what they are doing to that poor child when they think "no one is watching" I hope CPS goes back and does an even deeper investigation. as children we always try to protect our parents when cps came to our door, i lied and blamed myself for the major ass whooping i got at age 7 smh.
i wish i had someone like phil to call out my abuse as well.
lovelyti2002 I agree with you 100%
You're an inspirational story. Glad that Phil mentioned you in his video so I could watch this touching video and subscribe.
MegSongsBad 🙌🏻
MegSongsBad me too bro
Hey Boogie, you should request to speak at TED Talks! The world could sure use your perspective :)
Cristian that is an unbelievably good idea
Fr!!! Boogies ability to remain politically neutral and spread positive messages is amazing
I agree
I just grew 100% more respectful of my parents
Gago Felipe as a parent of a 3yo I was crying watching those vids imagining doing that to my child someday. You're shaping a mind, why would you fuck around with that?? No, it's not hitting or beating, but it does so much damage!
hey Boogie. I wanna start by saying you have the biggest heart on UA-cam. I love you for it. I had an alright childhood until i was about 10 and got brain cancer. I had to be away from my school and everyone. after that I was never able to socially reintegrate. i lost all of my friends. it changed the way I view life. i just couldn't fit in with anyone. so the remaining time i spent living with my family I was in almost complete social isolation. it was hard and I'm still dealing with it today. that's one of my big struggles. Thanks for being who you are Boogie. you make my day better everytime i watch your videos.
calvin0630 biggest heart
U got Xbox?
calvin0630 I went into social isolation after having back surgery. I was away from school for 3 months. and after not being able to catch up with school work and keeping up with friends it's like I fell off the world.
Today being the second day of crying over this story, I do feel like sharing something. My paremts are both amazing people, just genuine good people and we were all so close. My dad even before I could remember, had cancer, it really hurts that such a good person had to suffer like he did. Nothing was ever hidden from me and I was aware of every hospital appointment, I even held dad's hand when he got medication injections. We could be one of the closest families you could meet. After years and years of treatment like chemotherapy not only battling through it but before going into therapy, shaving of his really long hair and donating it to charity, he still suffered so much. I clearly remember one trip to A&E where he was so dosed up on painkillers and morphine that he could barely talk. The last few days/weeks are still vivid in my head. Spending all his time in a hospital bed, nurses and doctors constantly upping dosage to keep pain low to the point where he lost vision and was just "asleep" until about two weeks later when he died. I had only just turned 12 two months before he died. Not only had I just turned 12 but it was the day before I started at secondary school that he passed away. It really took a year for everything to settle in. But on the one year anniversary of his death, I too shaved my head to support a charity that helped my family during his illness. Yes it did mess me up and give me problems but I'm trying to find ways to get through it. And thank you boogie for sharing your story with all of us
Thanks for sharing that story. I'm having a hard time right now because I lost my dad a few weeks ago. It still doesn't seem real.
Ya it never feels real does it
maisie mcmaster it never feels real, it never does
These are making me sad. Stay strong guys :(
I have a similar story. My mom got sick when I was young, she was finally diagnosed with ALS when I was 10. My brother and I took care of her for almost 7 years before she died two weeks before my 17th birthday. The pain never really leaves, even ten years on. Sorry for your loss.
hey boogie, I want to say that you're awesome, man. I have ptsd from the child abuse I suffered for the first 20 years of my life and I'm really glad that there are people like you and Phil speaking out against it. when I was growing up (a lot like your situation) people knew it was abuse but no one said anything or tried to help me. What you said in this video really struck a chord because your description of how you felt is pretty much verbatim of the way I feel. I wish I could hug you, man. Anyways thanks for being awesome and being you
so many times my dad would say "I don't beat you! you aren't abused!" and for nearly 20 years I believed it. he didn't consider his behavior as abusive. He considered it as discipline. despite the bruises, the welts, the constant fear we had. wearing sweat pants to gym in 90 degree weather. Flinching when people touched us. never being able to accept or love ourselves for who we are and never trusting anyone. it wasn't until I found my husband that I was able to be shown how a human being SHOULD be treated. How I was SUPPOSED to be loved. I thank the gods every day for my husband. Without him I would have never been able to leave. Without him I can guarantee you that I would have taken my own life. and I thank the gods for people like you Boogie. you're amazing, talented, and have a huge heart. I love you, man.
hey, just wanted to say i'm so glad you're loved and supported. and alive. take care.
Thank you
You're a legend man. Stay strong.
jeommy kin HE IS.....THE BOOGIE
I've been following Boogie for a very long time now, probably since i first started using youtube on a regular basis. I dont watch him everyday but, when i do, he has been one of the biggest inspirations to look up to. I would say i've lived a pretty average life so far but to see someone come out on top like Boogie has is just another driving factor in my life.
I hope you get to see this Steven and im so glad/proud of you for posting this video and i hope you keep being you and inspiring people just like me.
Totally relate to this. I went through similar growing up, and had the same thoughts as you; watching TV and saying "why aren't we like those people?" and my parents responses were "Don't be stupid, people aren't really like that! That's not how real life works!"
Then the emotional and mental manipulation would come into play, I was very co-dependent and had no friends. I was very isolated and not allowed to do anything outside of home, except for school. Which I did well in. It was a great escape. No yelling or put-downs from the adults there, just praise and I loved that.
My report cards would show great grades and great comments and compliments from my teachers, and my parents would scoff sarcastically and say "they must have confused you for another child!" anything to crumble what little self-respect and confidence I may have had, to keep me under thumb. If I tried to better myself, I was told I was acting as if I were 'better than them' and was 'up myself'.
It was just so utterly toxic. I would never wish that on anyone.
Ummm... Boogie.... He slammed his son into a shelf and bloodied his nose. It's not just language.
Link?
Blackstone Labs the video was deleted but Philip DiFranco made multiple videos on it and showed the clip
Boogie probably didnt know about that
Damn Boogie lookin clean as fuck! My boi is lookin fly!
Also just made it to the end of the video, ill talk about it. Mother major alcoholic to the point of passing out drunk almost every day, it's honestly amazing how she can even wake up in the morning for work. My father divorced her after having a bottle thrown at him and being mentally abused almost every day... i honestly feel bad for my dad because the women he wanted to spend the rest of his days with and die with cheated on him and told him "im taking my children away, none of them love you" and stuff like that. Welp the happy ending of this is that we are moving out in a month but i just have to stand it till the end. thank you Boogie for giving me a place where i can feel happy during the parts of the day my mother isnt around.
djb 0623 on your last. day Harry Potter that bitch, if you get the reference
bruh a hitman is only 15k thats all im saying
a lot cheaper then half my shit ima just say that
djb 0623 lol
Back in 1993. My farther has a schizophrenic episode and committed suicide. Leaving my ptsd suffering mother alone with three children, a 10,6,5 year old. My mother was big into the feminist movement and believed (still does) that men are evil. Now, my brother and I have very different stories, me being the middle child seemed to get the blame for most things that happened around the house, from a window being broken to the family TV no working. Many nights would go by where my mother would tuck my little brother into bed (same room) and tell him she loved him, then turn to me and tell me that I am scum because I am male, with her favourite quote "men like you are scum." Through out my childhood, she would remind me of my genetic short comings (at least from her perspective.) where she would attempt to sell her latest work (a novel) fail, and claim it's because she isn't a man, and all males are scum. This would follow with me being locked in my room on Christmas Day, not fed at night and be forced to get a job when at school to help support her, not to build my future. I am 30 this year and its been 11 years since i left home, in that time i met a woman who really seemed to care for me and actually want me around, we have since had three children (hopefully one more soon fingers crossed) and she has encouraged me to pursue my career choice, which allowed me to quit full time work and study dramatic arts (final year now.) so we talk about happy endings, yes I now suffer from a mental illness (not sure if it is a result or just genetics) but now everything is okay. I haven't spoken to her much since but our lives now are better separated, I am not sure why she did that to me, i don't believe that it was personal. But I do believe that it was circumstance, if it wasn't me it would be my little brother.
Richard Tonkin you're so strong for getting through all that
anticipated mortality Thank you so much for taking the time to read my comment. I appreciate it, I really do.
Probably genetics since both parents had psychological issues, and hard childhood doesn't help but it's nice to see that you're fighting it, I sincerely hope you will find a way to be at peace with yourself. Scars that parents leave in fact never heal but they can be overgrown if you are strong enough. And I understand the dilemma "is she fucked up because she's sick or she's sick because she's fucked up." but in my experience the disease, mental illness such as depression and other diagnoses truly prevent a person to function in a balanced way - still to display such a blatant disrespect for her own flesh ...This is unforgivable, I don't have to blame someone, I understand they are suffering but if someone is shooting you with a gun, does it really help to know that they suffer and are "not to blame" - while you're bleeding.
Robert Tauzer valid point mate. I am trying, i owe it to my children to be the best me i can be. Where in the past i would display destructive behaviour, i now channel that into my writing in the hope of making stories people can relate too, and be entertained by.
That's an awful childhood, you're tough as fuck getting through that. Best of luck with your writing, maybe I'll read another one of your stories one day:)
When I was young I was periodically sexually exploited by a family member. When I was 15 I told a therapist and they called child services and before I could blink my whole family knew. I thought I was finally gonna get my long awaited "everything's gonna be okay now" hug from my mom but instead she told me I shouldnt have gotten the police involved because what happened was normal. This reframed my flashbacks and made it worse. I was forced to live in my basement, because I refused to live in the door next to my sexual exploiter so i was hidden away while the got to live blame free. I told my parents that I wanted a restraining order. They threw things at me, told me I ruined their family, I was the cause for the pain, never my sexual exploiter. I sow my mom take too many serotonin pills and I couldn't help to think it was my fault. They read about me doing self harm in my diary so they forced me to strip. they looked at me in discussed and dragged me by the leg into a car to go to the hospital so THEY could fix me but all I really needed was a hug from my parents, an acknowledgment that I had suffered but it was always about how my trama ruined THEIR lives. The verbal abuse continued until I decided to force myself to forget how they treated me, to forget the sexual exploitation, forgive and forget. Things are better now because in don't talk about my feelings, but I know I have to reopen this door eventually...I haven't talked about it in two years, I don't know why I'm talking about it now. This kids trauma brought bqck so many memories...I see him developing anxiety like I did, I see him wanting more than anything for it to stop.
its not ur fault and u did the right thing
I'm sorry you were blamed for something that was never your fault. That your mother thinks that something like that is normal... It breaks my heart. I hope that someday you can be happy.
Wow.... thank you for sharing.
I think that's how you should go on and that you are a great person because you made it through and can still talk about this stuff.
Leave that situation as soon as possible and know that you are a great person. you are capable of being happy and being loved. you did nothing wrong and none of that is your fault.
I know this probably means nothing coming from a random person on the UA-cam comment section but you are so brave and strong! *internet hugs*
I definitely thought my childhood was normal. Turns out I had some really terrible people in my family and while I'm still struggling with what happened to me even now, I managed to make a hell of a life full of adventure and happiness and love. I made it my goal to make the most I could out of my life, and in the last 9 years I've traveled to 9 different countries, sometimes traveling twice a year. I've been to Mexico 10 times now. I grew up in severe poverty in a trailer park in a small town and never dreamed I could ever go anywhere, and now I've seen so much and been so many places my heart can hardly handle how much it swells when I think about it. I ought to make a video about it all, and how much my travels have meant to me when I spent more than half my life thinking it would be impossible for someone like me. Especially believing I had no future, and that it was normal for women like me to be forced to marry abusive men and never amount to anything.
People who harm or hurt children are the absolute scum of the earth
what do you mean British government?.
if you mean that one government harms children then you are wrong, you could say that all of them are at fault for harming children though because all of them have.
Charlie
British government....what the fuck?
DETROPER amen
Ok, but they are also people who need help too, not other people to tell them they are the scum of the earth. Chances are that they beat those that are weaker than them because they have severe self-esteem issues to begin with.
Both my parents are college educated, and they raised me and my younger brothers very well. They never abused us and punished us not by doing anything physical but by either taking away toys or grounding me. They also never made me sit at the dinner table until I ate everything on my plate, like I was told they were made to do as children. Normal families exist and I was so shocked and emotionally moved after watching sxephil's video today. I really hope that kid gets saved from those abusers.
Max Dietz i had a good ride too. Very grateful
I am a foster-child, I have lived in three families, I was beaten, I was yelled at, I was locked in my room, I felt helpless, I felt angry, and that anger is something I have to live with trough my whole life, anger protected me from those people, when they hurt me, I got mad and my anger took away my tears, when they beat me when I was six and they gave me punishments, I in the end became immune to what they did to me. Looking at poor Cody, I see myself in him, and that's horrible, since I am a foster-child I guess we all have had issues with families. But this poor child is really in an abusive home and that father has I believed been trough the same thing and he never learned how to act or how to love, what he teaches his children is not how to get a high self esteem, he is learning his children to be quiet even if they right, to not intervene when they see something bad happening to another human being, these children will have problems in their lives cause of that man, he is not making them harder or stronger, he is making them weaker by not giving them a stable ground to stand on.
Sabina Jakupovic I really relate to your story. And I really relate to little Cody too... I hope these parents get help and learn tu deal with what happened to them and stop repeating it.
foster? what kind of parents would get rid of their child? their creation? thats pathetic. hopefully your life turns around soon!
Wow I am sorry to hear that you were treated that way if it was your foster family that's what's wrong with the system my mother spent the past 10 years or so fostering kids with special needs and it's sad to see how some grew up eating spoiled food or being abused so we made sure they felt wanted and loved every child that came in that home
That's so nice to hear, there should be more people out there as your mother
If you don't mind me prying, how is your life now?
Hey Boog, I too, had an abusive mother. Luckily for me, she was only emotionally abusive. My father left her while I was only about 10 months old, and I only got to see him every other weekend growing up. She took her toll on me, and it lead me down a very dark, dark path. I'm happy every day that I made it through. Some days I honestly wonder how I did. A lot of people don't understand that these experiences do give us an extremely dark sense of humor. When you stare death in the face, and somehow come out on the other side, you start to laugh at the morbid side of life. I'm glad that .22 misfired and I'm here today to see your videos and watch your streams. You're hilarious and kind, and one day I hope to shake your hand and tell you personally that you brighten my day. Keep spreading the good word, and I'll do my part here just one state over.
To everyone else, there can be a happy ending. Change your surroundings, and focus on yourself for a while. Do what it takes for you to be happy. Whatever that may be. I wish you the best, and if you need an ear to vent to, I'm only a PM away. I wish you the best, and I hope you will see that you are worth every bit of effort it takes.
This is a very touch topic for me. I've been through things that I can't even begin to explain. I've encountered trauma, physical and mental abuse and some sexual. I was in foster care since I was 7 because of medical neglect. I understand the pain and suffering people have had throughout life. On top of pain and suffering, I'm a type 1 diabetic and live through that. Statistically, diabetics are 2-3 times more likely to have severe depression than any other illness. I get this, I got taken away from my parents when I was 7, and it was a mess. At one point, I wanted to be a child investigator to stop all of the bad parents and parenting, but I thought I couldn't endure that pain and remind myself how awful someone can be. For all of you out there, I understand and I get what you're going through. Try to stay strong and be there for one another. Love each other despite who they appear to be.
I haven't been through all the abuse you have, but when I was diagnosed with T1D, it was horrible. I was saying stuff in the hospital like, "So, if I take too much insulin, I could die?" and other things. I had to stay an extra day in the hospital because of it. I also started self harming with needles and have been to a psychiatric physicality twice. It's tough being a diabetic and just having depression and abuse makes it worse for you. Like I said before, I'll probably never understand the abuse you went through, but just know I understand the struggles of being a type 1 diabetic.
I was raised by controlling, manipulative narcissists and I only realized it last year at 25 years old. My parents' abuse, especially my mother's, was very covert. The constant criticism and manipulation was disguised as "we just want the best for you!" I should have recognized it - my mother picked fights and ended relationships with most of her family and all of her friends. She had also isolated my father from some of his family and all of his friends. My mother did the same thing to me. When no one called on my mom's birthday I thought everyone else was at fault - but it was my mother all along.
My parents were verbally and emotionally abusive. I, like the one kid in the video, thought that at least I wasn't being physically abused. I thought my childhood was normal. Happy even. My parents practiced the cycle of abuse by being nice and giving me gifts to make up for their abuse.
I have anxiety, panic attacks, and C-PTSD as a result of my upbringing. Thankfully once I realized I was abused I cut off all contact with my parents.
Today is exactly six months since I have spoken to them and I am much stronger and happier. I'm grateful you and Phil are bringing awareness to child abuse.
I identify so strongly with that sentiment - I tried talking to a friend in high school about my dad calling my whole family worthless, screaming insults ... She told me that was nothing, that her father sometimes spanked her when she'd been bad as a child. I couldn't explain why it was different then - of course, I know why now. The difference was that my family and me had done nothing to provoke my father. The difference was that the shouting wasn't discipline - it was a way for him to release his stress on to other people.
Anyway, from that day forward, I'd always tell myself: at least he didn't hit you.
Boogie, I'm glad Phil mentioned you and I came to your channel. Nation, stand up!!
My life as a child was normal enough to me. I didn't get the treatment these children are getting, but when I acted out I got disciplined, may it be with a belt or a hose (growing up old school Mexican taught you some ways to not get smacked), I don't think my parents abused me. There were times I deserved those severe ass whoopin' for stealing or something else stupid I did in my youth but that's it. I can guarantee you that I didn't do it again.
But what I want to say is Boogie, you are amazing and I love you too. The sincerity i can see in your face made me want to follow everything you do
There is no situation where a child "deserves" to be belted, caned, etc. Multiple studies have come out not only proving there is no long or short term benefits, but it actually does long term *damage* to the child. If you don't want to call it abuse, that's fine, but no matter how terrible the things you did were, hitting a child in ANY way, even a slap on the bottom with a firm hand, only causes mental damage to the child in the long term. Children who were belted, spanked, etc. are more likely to be dishonest with their parents, more likely to get into bad behavior such as criminal activity, drinking, and smoking, etc.
I can tell you, after my mother yanked me to the floor and KICKED me for not making her a tuna fish sandwich unless she stopped insulting me to my face as I did so, I never tried that crap with her again. Does that make kicking me okay? Or does this only apply when specific things are done wrong by the child? Or does it have to be spanking or belting to be okay?
If you can't answer those questions with immediate confidence, then clearly belting you wasn't as justified as you're trying to make it to avoid admitting to being abused.
Total Trash Mammal I mean when I stole stuff and got caught, I think I deserved to get hit with the hose. I turned out fine, I'm a isolated life. I'm in colkege, full time job and living on my own. I never stole again in my life because I had it ingrained in my thought that's my parents would do worse as I got older.
Yee!
Sup you beautiful bastards?!
You sir are a hero for having the cajones to talk about your experience. I went through abuse from step-dads and my biological father. The day my bio dad was on his tirade my mom made a mistake and broke my trust. See mom had always defended me from it. She took 9 yrs of abuse from one of my step-dads for us kids but when he turned my backside black and blue for not brushing my teeth long enough she didn't hesitate, we left.
On the day my bio was on his tirade I was about 14, he had spent an hr or so pinning me down with his knees across my shoulders sitting on my stomach hitting me or physically lifting me up by my hair (washed dried blood out of my hair that night) and then mom stepped between us and I thought "finally it's over" but it wasn't because then she turned and started hitting me. Mom wasn't an MMA fighter by any stretch, but it wasn't the impact of the punches that hurt in that moment, it was the broken trust.
I say this because I hope people can learn from it. I've fought to break the chain of violence in my life. I forgave those that hurt me, especially my mom. Like I said she made a mistake. She was afraid of him as much as I was. She thought he would stop if she took over. And it just infuriated him worse.
I ended up suffering lots of pain from bad teeth even losing most of mine because of the psychological trauma from my step-dad. Yeah I should've fought it, wish I had. I wouldn't be on the verge of death from 2 badly broken decaying, exposed nerve, infected wisdom teeth. (Can't afford to get them removed because of an unrelated issue)
Understand this though I despised what my abusers were. I swore I never would become that. Until I did. Never hurt my kids. But my wife will tell you she took a lot from me, but together we not only found out how to overcome those learned behaviors, but we discovered I had the same disorder my bio father does. IED. Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Thankfully drs found a treatment so when I feel an event happening I take an aspirin and it counters the issue.
I'll never excuse what I've done, or what was done to me, but since we found out about my IED I've had maybe one event and finally come to a place where I don't feel like I'm a living time bomb.
I don't feel like I could hurt my kids if the wind changes. The thought still scares me but I refuse to make them go through what I did. (Side note: my wife is an amazing and tough woman, she very nearly broke my arm with a mag light one day during one of my episodes). But especially so because instead of just abandoning me because of what was happening, she understood that I was parroting my past, and part of it was a genetically transferred disorder.
I know people will likely hate me for admitting to hurting my wife, I know I do. But know this, she forgave, and fought to help me from a position of love, and succeeded in helping me to not be the cause of what I went through for our kids.
Sorry for length but this is something I had to share after hearing you talk about your past and asking people to share.
Side note 2. In school I became a bully because I was hurting so bad inside. I used what I knew when my oldest began getting bullied at school and she was not only able to talk her aggressor down but stood up for her and they became friends. The girl was bullied in her home too. Most bullies are trying to offload a lot of pain they experience and going about it the only way they know. Doesn't make it right or acceptable. But it does mean many can be helped and even become decent people too.
Deshra Dine Bullies suck.
That video was wrong, as a parent myself i could not watch that video without feeling sorry for the kids seems like a very traumatic experience, Shocking.
the kids are the ones who want the vids uploaded
j j of course they're going to say that, you wouldn't want to upset the abusers. They're being mentally abused.
Ya so they get stuff
Itsjustjord i luv ur channel plz reply
WHAT CHANNEL IS IT?
I was sexually abused as a child. My mother is co-dependent with all of us kids. She has three natural born with two different guys and three adopted, two of whom were special needs (FAS). When we left our home town after her suicide attempt we were not allowed to speak the towns name. Our family, our culture our roots became a bad word. Cops were an enemy, she was constantly paranoid of CPS. We grew up with no friends. We grew up eating garbage. We grew up alone. I'm 30 now and have gotten out, my siblings still live with her. They're animals. They have kids. They're neglecting their kids. I've separated myself from them, moved cities. But I have major issues with depression. I'm morbidly obese. I've never gone on a date. I've never had consenting sex. I'm a shut in and struggle everyday to keep going. You give me hope Boogie. Your vids inspire me. Thanks Man
Tulugaq stay strong bother. That's all I can say. Love life to its Fullest.
Tulugaq I sincerely wish you the best. you take care of yourself, even though it might hurt a lot.
Tulugaq do you mean you've never had sex? Because never had consenting sex implies you've had unconsented sex which is worrying
Jordan Richards I would wager that since he said he was sexually abused, he's saying in a light way that he was raped.
Tulugaq hang in there
My parents divorced when I was 18 months old. I started spending time round my Dad's house when I was 3 and he was with a new woman who abused me for 7 years. As a result I now have Non Epileptic attack Disorder. I have incredibly painful seizures when I get stressed which I am conscious for. My mum and my family however were and still are wonderful and I will always be grateful to them. And to people like you Boogie, for making me smile when I was at my lowest. Thank you for bringing all of us together to share our experiences, it means a lot to people to know that there is someone willing to listen
I was mentally abused by my mum my whole life but i always found a way to forgive her. Then when i was 12, i was stalked, mentally abused and raped multiple times by my mum's best friend for over a year and a half including my birthdays and Christmases. He eventually went to jail where he got released after half his sentence and October last year he decided to contact me, while i was just getting over being homeless. So i had to go through court again til January this year.. It was really difficult. You're so strong for what you went through Boogie, and i love your videos. They're so funny and help me through so much day to day crap, i don't think you'd understand. You're a savior.
So I probably had the most "normal" life you could expect in this day and age. Loving parents, wanted the best for us, made every opportunity available to my sister and I. They knew when to be stern and when to say "no", and when they could treat us with something special in reward for positive behaviour. I was bullied a lot as a kid, but my parent's love honestly greatly helped, knowing that they cared about me. Even when they got divorced when I was 13 (and they told us the day before I started high school), my dad specifically told me that he wanted us to know that them breaking up wasn't our fault, and that they still loved us unconditionally. Sure my parents can frustrate me or nag me, even as a late-20 year old. But they gave me a great life, now it's my job to make something of it.
I feel awful for people who weren't as lucky, and especially so for these kids.
Thank God for parents who weren't perfect but still loved us.
I'm happy to see someone who seems to have had a good childhood. Reading through the comments it seems like everyone's was fucked up.
latenightreviewer I'm not gonna lie-I'm jealous. Not in the way where I want you to suffer as well but in the way where I want a home life that is somewhat stable as well even if it involves a divorce which I'm sure must have been very tough on you. But at the same time I'm happy for you and would gladly have the home life I do if it meant someone else didn't have to suffer this way. But there's also this other voice that's more powerful than all the others saying I'm glad I have a poor home life. It has molded me into who I am today: a strong, compassionate, and loving individual. It's given me a story. I guess I just wanted to say that, not sure why but I felt like it was necessary.
I'm glad you grew up well :3 peace
I would have never guessed that I would spend an hour reading these comments.
Some of the stories are hard for me to comprehend. I grew up in a stable household and never had bad issues with my parents. Yeah, in my teen years I thought they didn't know what they were talking about. But, they gave me a good life. They were never abusive, and today I don't have any mental issues that many of you guys exhibit today.
I consider myself extremely lucky. I hope that everyone that has had a rough life so far, will improve. Keep powering through challenges, and you will find a happy ending.
Tony I feel like crying at all these. I too had a somewhat stable life - the worst I had was my parents divorcing when I was 1, then a few terrible GFs of my dad. Now I have a terrible stepmother, though seeing these, I'm constantly reminded how lucky I am to have this specific terrible stepmother.
It's hard to fathom and...utterly heartbreaking.
Boogie is the most huggable dude on the planet. I dare you to find someone more sincere and awesome
Kevin James thats the thing u can't. He's such an amazing person
Kevin James SO TRUE!!!
Uh no I have friends that are just as huggable! but boogie is the most huggable on youtube.
jesus with a free hugs shirt
The Punisher.
I've had body-image dysmorphia and depression since I was a child. Every day I get a little bit better. I'm not giving up (:
Hang in there, you're fighting the good fight
I don't know you but please believe me when I type I wish you nothing but the best of luck in fighting that terrible disorder 👊
God bless you, keep fighting
My father is a narcissist and my mother is a chronic enabler. My dad is a talented writer, but his alcoholism and mental illness insured he never had steady work. Even after he quit drinking, he could never hold a job down for more than a year or two. His bosses were assholes, they didn't pay him enough for his AMAZING talent, etc. etc. When he was working (and making an assload of money), he bought fancy tech, fancy cars, and used his income level to get loans for other large purchases. Meanwhile my mom worked 2, sometimes 3 jobs to pay every bill and feed us. NONE of his income went to actually running the household. When I was a teenager, my mother moved us in with her parents -- who had become too feeble to care for themselves. That's when the shit REALLY hit the fan. Coupled with my father's constant belittlement (everything I've ever done, everything I've ever liked or gotten joy out of is stupid, pointless, childish, a waste of time, and something only a moron would enjoy.), my grandparents physically beat me all the time for the tiniest offenses (like putting the forks away incorrectly). Instead of telling my grandparents to cut that out, my mother told me to stop antagonizing them and to just shut up and take it when they attacked me for no reason. They were "old" and "in pain" and I had to "be understanding". My chaotic home life made me an easy target for a terrible adult outside of my family, and I was groomed and sexually abused from the time I was 15 until I was 23. My abuser was 25 when they met me at 15, they very skillfully provided the "love" and "attention" I wasn't getting at home and so desperately needed. Through all this time, I was understandably having some mental problems. It started with depression, then progressed to panic attacks, let that simmer in a monstrous cocktail of psychotropic medication and alcohol abuse for about a decade, and then you have some hot, fresh PTSD making functioning as an adult near impossible. Medication was useless for me, in fact it made things much worse (because we all love putting on 70lbs and not sleeping for 3+ days at a time, right?), but I won't discount it completely. If anti-depressants helped you, good. I'm glad. But realize they harm a lot of people, too. Therapy and my lovely, supportive spouse have been the only things that have helped me process and cope with what I went through. I wished someone in my life would have stepped in when I was hurting, and Boogie and Phil are doing the right thing by speaking out against these terrible parents. Who the FUCK exploits their children's misery for clicks??? I've got a prank for you, bruh. It's called PRISON.
Boogie, thanks for making this video. I want to reach through my computer and hug you.
I had a pretty normal childhood. My Mom made sure of it. She shielded me and left an abusive man. She is so strong to have done that with an infant in that era, but her family supported her, too. I had a great step-dad that taught me that a girl was better by far than any man. They lifted me up when the world fell out from under me. All great things come to an end, but I learned what was good and what was bad. So when I married what I thought was a wonderful man and then he started blaming me for things going wrong in his life, I knew something wasn't right. Then I found out he was lying and cheating. When he was exposed he started physically abusing me. Once. But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My infant daughter and me left just like my mom and I left. And my family supported me.
I have been married to the real man of my dreams for 30 years now. I have 3 wonderful (most of the time) kids and one new grandbaby. Yeah, that's him as my avatar. *proud Grandma*
I've felt trapped like Cody before when certain family members would tease and torment me to the point of tears, so I heavily empathize with him. I thought as I got older I just grew up and was finally able to take a joke, but upon retrospect, I realize what they did was wrong all along. My husband even used to push my buttons intentionally and then wonder why I would lash out. There were several times I got defensive and hostile around my husband because of underlying childhood traumas, and later in our marriage, I reconciled with what happened in my childhood, and I also think a part of him realized that pushing my buttons was not ideal, so we've moved on together and grew stronger from that point. I think the worst was my father's temper and mother's anxiety. Our parents, especially dad in particular, were angry parents and just hard to be around sometimes. They are fundamentalist Catholic, so much of their beliefs and parenting ideas came from a strict authoritarian religion. That's not to say that they were 100% 24/7 abusive, they thought what they were doing was right or they wouldn't have done it. Abuse is such a complicated issue in this way because many parents don't realize when they're being abusive. I was terrified of my dad and convinced he hated me when I was younger to the point where I would have nightmares of him murdering me. I fantasized of getting rid of him or driving a wedge between him and mom so he'd leave when I was smaller. I favored my mom when I was little because she wasn't scary like dad, but she has anxiety and that definitely affected her parenting style and affected how I learned to deal with challenges. There was a whole 'nother level of anxiety on top of what I already inherited biologically from my mother's side and from her behaviors, and that was salvation anxiety as well as political anxiety. Our parents have a very black and white view of the world, so people who did not fit a certain mold, fill certain expectations, or had different opinions were thought of as threatening, whether they intended for this to happen or not. Atheists, homosexuals, liberals, etc were all scary, and anything that questioned or challenged our religious beliefs was a literal attack from the devil, even questions we formed in our own heads.
My dad was not an alcoholic, but I feel his rage sometimes matched one. In the mornings, if the kitchen wasn't clean, I'd often cower under my bed covers to the sound of dishes rustling around, cabinet doors opening/closing, and often things being thrown around. Dad threw stuff when he was mad. He pulled my hair on several occasions when he was mad, even over something as stupid as a misunderstanding over a broken cd case on the floor that *spoiler alert* wasn't his. I told him it was our cousin's, who was sitting right there, and he pulled my hair and called me a liar. After I calmed down, I marched into the living room, pulled his pristine cd case from the shelf and showed him. No apology, just a blank stupid stare. I still hate him for many things, but still a small portion of me loves him because he too was capable of it. But because of his inability to admit when he was wrong or apologize, coupled in with my sister's cynicism when attempting to talk openly about things that bothered me, nothing ever changed until I got out of the house. I forwarded these atrocious behaviors on to my little brother and I was horrible to him from his toddler years until I left, much to my parent's confusion. Don't mistake it as an excuse, but rather an explanation. What breaks my heart is I don't even know if he's gone through the same soul searching process I have about what I've done to him, and last I talked to him, he said he missed the times I used to play with him. Our relationship definitely got better after I moved out and got fresh air, but I still harbor so much regret. 21 years of walking on eggshells around my family when I lived with them, and countless more to come when we visit them. My only hope is some day soon I can have an honest discussion with my brother at least, my sisters and parents I don't care to discuss this with much.
P.S. this isn't the whole story, there's more to it, but I didn't want to write a book about it. If you read to the end, thanks for taking the time.
Had the same kind of day. Kids should not be scared every day waiting for their father to come home knowing he was probably gonna start yelling, cussing or give us the belt. He never apologises for anything. He is right and everyone else is wrong. Walking on eggshells is exactly how I describe it too.
Although my childhood was moderately fine, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 3 years before I broke out of it. And somewhere along the way, I got anxiety and severe depression. Up until maybe two months ago, all I could think about was killing myself and just ending that pain. I think society doesn't take female abuse in a relationship seriously. If a woman physically abuses a man, he's considered a pussy. If he fights back, he's considered the cruel one. And in most US states if someone calls 911 for spousal violence, the police department is obligated to arrest somebody and over 90% of the time, they will arrest the man, even if he's the victim. Although I wasn't often physically attacked, I was bombarded constantly with an emotional downpour. It really has shaped my maturity and growth as a person.
Despite how shitty I felt and how shitty she made me feel, I still loved her at one point and I truly care about her. She has BPD, depression, numerous personality disorders, was molested as a child, had her adopted and biological father leave her. She went through a lot and her family treated her like utter shit and I wanted to help her to find happiness because, despite all that's been said and done and how much we both suffered, she didn't deserve that childhood. Even though it ended terribly and there's immense resentment from both of us, I truly hope she can find happiness because she deserves it. And if you're reading this, so do you. If you're in an abusive relationship, there is a way out. I had enough, you can too. You deserve happiness, you deserve the freedom to escape from a life of bitterness and depression. When you wake up tomorrow, the Earth will still be spinning, and you will still have X number of days left on this Earth. It's your job to make those days count. Thank you for reading.
thank you very much this inspired me to stand up for what is right
Just a quick "hi" to a courageous man who defeated the cycle of abuse and double-binding.
It's important that you realise that you're not a professional, dealing with a patient, in a professional setting. You CAN'T truly cure a loved one, you CAN'T be someone's therapist, and that's MORE THAN OKAY. You're a human being, and you have needs too. You're in a relationship, and you deserve to be in a relationship between a man and a woman, NOT a man and a patient. Society and its double-standards, especially in regards to how abuse against men work disgusts me. It's those stereotypes and everyday light-hearted humour which turn into people's perceptions and propaganda. Really good work standing up for yourself and recognising that this is not the way to live. Caring for another is one thing; if it's one-sided, and/or you're not prioritizing your health and safety first, dump it. It must've been hard. It must've taken courage, worries, anxieties, regrets, and much more for you to make that decision in your life. But you know what? You're awesome for doing that. Nobody should blame you for that. Stay strong, brother. Let us know if anything comes up. Although I don't know you, I really care about you and your story of braveness. God bless, and have an amazing, kick-ass day.
@@euphonyfff2316 I totally agree with you. Knowing they have these issues is so easy to think you can help fix them but what they really need is professional help, otherwise they end up abusing you.
My mother has schizophrenia and had a breakdown when I was 15. She walked 25 miles in the middle of winter because "god" told her to. She stopped being my mother for a long time.
My dad was too depressed to be there for me. He ironically told me to "man up" and deal with my depression.
A friend committed suicide two days into my first semester at college. I didn't graduate but I kept dropping out and coming back because I couldn't move on.
I tried to kill myself several times. I have severe OCD and anxiety disorders.
I wasn't abused and my problems aren't nearly as bad as others. Not by a long shot. I have an excellent job in an IT field and I'm happy. It gets better.
i hope ur okay now man and never try to again ever
You should look up the effects of a mentally ill parent on a child. You basically learn to never rely on them and because of that, you have no safe base to return to from the world nor do you learn any normalcy. It's traumatic in its own way.
Giving you a bunch of e-hugs if you want them!
Glad to hear your life got better. that's the message that needs to be shared. I'm so happy you turned your life around.
Everything is very good for me now! And while going through what I did has left me a little emotionally stunted, I've accomplished what I have in spite of my experiences. I just hope it helps at least one person find encouragement.
Corey Brundige Please remember, your parents did the best they could with what they had. They loved you. They just weren't capable of showing you in the ways you deserved. Mental illness has so many victims.
I am so glad you are doing well. Continue to share your story... you never know who you are helping :)
From the age of 6-9, I had some sort of unwanted sexual attention from my next door neighbour. She was a year younger than me and she would make me do things I wasn't comfortable with/wasn't ready for. Simple things like kissing to more sexual things like touching me down below and making me touch her. I would tell her I didn't want to do it or that it made me uncomfortable but she would just blackmail me and tell me how she would no longer be my friend (we were pretty close friends and besides the touching stuff, she was a good friend to me) she was also friends with the other neighbourhood kids and so I didn't want to lose her as a friend or make things awkward when we were all hanging out as a group. I know I shouldn't but I still feel ashamed that this has happened to me. I've never told anyone, not anyone in my family or friends or a professional. I feel like because I'm a guy and she's a girl AND because she was a year younger than me, nobody would believe me when I told them. They would think I'm just making it up or I was the one being inappropriate. Because of what she did, I find it hard NOW to get close to people, to make friends and to do anything romantic/sexual with someone even though I desire it. Not to mention my anxiety disorder which no doubt started because of that. I don't know why I'm posting this but I suppose it feels good to finally say it (even if no one reads this/cares), it's good to get things off your chest sometimes.
Most people think of sexual abuse as, well penetrative. But; and I say this from personal experience, inappropriate attention- touching and emotional manipulation can be just as devastating in their psychological effects.
Now remember; it is not happening right now. And although it happened TO you it had very little to do ABOUT you. This other persons psychology manifested in their actions. You just happened to be there.
What happens now is up to you. Please take one piece of advice, read "How to win friends and influence people" Do not be turned off by the 'influence' thing it sounds negative, but this book will help you adjust to how other people expect and want to be treated. Most people who meet me think I am not nearly as crazy an odd coot as I actually am do to some of the wisdom in this book.
We all just want to be well liked and friendly. You are worth the efforts your successes in life will require.
Thank you very much for this comment. I agree that a lot of people view sexual abuse as just penetrative but the long-lasting effects of any unwanted sexual advances, inappropriate touching and emotional manipulation can be traumatising. Like I said I've never talked about this before or sought any help although I think it would do me a lot of good if I did talk to a professional about all of this.
Yeah, I have to tell myself that a lot. That I didn't ask for it or deserve it and that it was put upon me by someone who I believe just wanted to explore their sexuality, whether I wanted it or not didn't concern them. It was all about what they wanted not what I wanted.
Thank you, I will look for it on Amazon and give it a read. I have heard about that book before actually and heard that it was good but I'll actually take the step to buy it and give it a read this time.
That is true. I do the best I can to be a good person as I feel we all do.
Josh Parker same thing happened to me at around 5 years old with one of my friends, she would blackmail me by saying she would tell everybody not to be my friend. i grew up so ashamed of the things she did to me but only around the age of 18 i realized there was something wrong with HER and that at 5 what could i have done to stop it? at least now i'm not as ashamed to talk about it because i have friends my age who went through the same thing. you are not alone.
Josh Parker I'm so sorry this happened to you Josh, I hope you'll heal soon!! Maybe you should do a therapy, it helped me a lot :).
I'm sorry that you had to go through this too. I was the same, I knew what was happening wasn't right at the time but I didn't realise how wrong it was. It was only when I got older that I realised what was going on. I moved away when I was 10 and haven't had contact with this person since then, I just hope that I was the only one she forced into doing that with.
I appreciate how he mentioned that even people with ideal childhoods should comment down here, but when I read some of these comments about what some people have gone through, I'd just feel so selfish and shitty if I posted my own childhood. It wasn't ideal and it did cause me to develop anxiety, but some of the comments down here are truly horrifying and terrible. For those of you out there who have in fact gone through serious abuse, I give you a sincere round of applause and a hug because if you were able to get through stuff like that, then you are the toughest and strongest people I know.
Oris Cinn same here. I mostly experienced verbal abuse, mild neglect (my mom was on tranquilizers to help regulate mood and her psych saw nothing wrong with her sleeping all day) and being left at my grandma's at age 11 because my mom and I really did not get along. I got spanked but maybe 5 times total between age 5-11 (my earlier eat memories start at age 5). Yes, I have anxiety, can't take compliments because I think I'm being made fun of, and fear being close to people, but school caused just as much of that as parenting did. From age 11 on, the isolation from my siblings got to me but it was definitely a better environment and I did much better.
Hey boogie, I was trying to find a place to message this to you privately but I can't find any way to do that.
This doesn't really have too much to do with this video, I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to some people.
My dad passed away at the end of February. He had stage four pancreatic cancer and it had spread way too far by the time we found it. From the time he was diagnosed until he passed was less than three months. He was 41.
My dad absolutely loved you. Especially your Francis character. He was always checking back to your channel to see if there were any new ones out and he'd quote your videos all the time. "I want my God damn mountain dew!" was one of his favorite lines. You put out a video a while back that really resonated with him. I don't remember what it was called exactly but it's where you drew pictures and talked about your past. He was overweight and that was a big part of that video, the acceptance of that and the will to change and be healthier. Your videos truly made him happy and I really appreciate that you do what you do. Thank you.
Boogie is a hero. I admire him so much, and I hope that eventually, I and everyone else can come out on top as well. Thanks for making this video dude.
I was raised by a single schizophrenic mother and a grandmother who suffers from dementia. It has been a frustrating difficult road for me and did not have much help anyone let a lone family members. Because I grew up viewing my mother's violent schizophrenia episodes and stress from dealing my grandmother's dementia frequently on a daily basis I developed anxieties that were limiting me from living a normal life while growing up and presently. I had trouble sleeping, would have panic attacks, and lived in constant fear that my mother or grandmother would cause harm to me or themselves. I never really invited any friends over nor did family visit due to the negative environment of my home. I have tried to seek out psychiatric help for my mother and grandmother however, both refuse to cooperate due to their paranoia. I have tried to get law enforcement, doctors, family members, friends, neighbors or just anyone to convince them to at least try to see a psychiatrist but no luck. I am 22 and go to community college and work and continue to live with my mother and grandmother for the sake of taking care of them. However, I think I have ran out of steam to keep this up any longer and eventually will be moving out soon since I will be transferring to a university this year. As much as I love my family I really am looking forward towards starting a new life and dorming with other people. I am just worried what will happen to family once I leave the nest. I don't know where I was going with this but it felt good sharing this. I don't normally share my life story to anyone but it feels good letting it out for once I usually bottle my emotions a majority of the time. And Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this :)
Hector Ramos youre a legend bro, that took some guts
Hector Ramos keep your head up amigo.Its your life to live and you need to live it for you. I know you love your family but they have chosen their life and you need to choose yours. best of luck at University
You have more than earned your freedom. You've gone through more than anyone should!!
Damn it now I love Boogie even more, Boogie you're safe here buddy.
Moving to Uni is a good decision and I hope it serves you well. You've done your time living with your mother and grandmother, it's time to live your own life and prosper from it. Best of luck, man.
There are no happy endings, endings are the saddest part. So give me a happy a middle, and a very happy start! - Shel Silverstein
Nicolaas Vandenberg Don't be sad that something's over. Be happy that it happened in your life! - Some smart guy
NiK "my name jeff" -Channing Tater
KhaosityTM MANEMAYEHV
NiK By the end I mean the end of someone's life...
My father had some anger issues when I was growing up. I am pretty sure that he's the reason that I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. I cry every time a man raises his voice or yells at me. It's an automatic reaction- I can't help it. But you know what, my dad didn't do that on purpose. He loved me, and he didn't want to hurt me. He didn't yell because he wanted to get me to cry- in fact, he couldn't bear it when I cried. he still can't. But these people purposely yelled and goaded their kid into crying, and screaming, and breaking down. I can't imagine the mental toll that took on that young child- I developed issues with anxiety just from a father who couldn't control his temper. This child had to deal with parents who hurt him on purpose. It makes me want to cry. I hope that he can get out from under that mental toll he had to take. I did- therapy and medication has really helped. I just want the best for that kid. Hope the parents end up in jail.
I looked it up and sure enough the definition of prank is "hitting your child."
Who knew?
Is my step sister slapping my ass while fucking is a prank 🌝
They also added "having your kids grapple each other" and "shoving your kids face first into furniture".
Yeah
Itjustaprank Translate itjustchildabuse = fucked up
Kevin Klatman Ok, this comment is the most retarded ive seen, tell me please, in what video does he hit his kids?
I too was abused, mentally, physically and emotionally. My father was an alcoholic who would beat my mother, my sister and I. I couldn't trust anyone. And I believe that I was sexually abused, but don't remember much about that.
Thank you for this video, I have never told anyone else all of what I just wrote, and I am honestly scared of other people in my life finding out. Afraid that they may look at me differently, like I am broken.
But yes my story does have a happy ending. I am slowly gaining more and more control over my emotions and actions. I have a wonderful wife who loves me dearly and who I love as much as I am able.
Life is good.
If I ever see you in person. I'm going to have to give you a hug.
Just commenting to let you know that I read yours and I wish you the best. Take care.
Hey boogie! This is my story and it ain't over yet but! When I was little my mom and I lived in a small apartment. She would smoke weed on a regular basis and even sometimes snort coke. She would give me toys and provide food for me. But! She almost never spend time with me. I never really got too play with other kids. And when I went out I had the "bigger boys" take care of me. I lived in a ghetto so it was very dangerous and I'm lucky to be alive today. My father was out of the picture until I became 11 years old. My mom had told me that he didn't want too see cause I was too "energetic". But it was a lie my dad wanted too see me but he was a alcoholic, and with my mom constantly pushing him away he got too fatigued and gave up. When I finally met him he was the nicest person I had ever met. Me and him spend a lot of time together. But my mom didn't like that, so she began manipulating the "authority's" and created more trouble. My dad stopped drinking because of me and he became a patient on the addiction center. But......then he became very sick,tired,depressed and sad. He died last December of KOL,arthritis.
Now I'm 15 years old and i live with my mom. She keeps punishing me for absurd reasons. For example if I don't take the thrash out in time she'll hit me with a broom in my face. I had 4 Stiches beacause of her......
I hope you read this Boogie.........please respond if you do
Oliver Lorenzen I didn't know your father but what you told me, he was a good father you should be proud of him changing his ways, for you keep your head up man
Oliver Lorenzen You're very brave, stay strong. Try to get a job soon and if things get too tough make sure you know someone you could stay with who is trustworthy. Also if you do ever decide you can't live there anymore, contact the authorities first. School counselors and principals make the situation worse and will always be on the parents side, that's how they are trained sadly. When you move out, keep in mind that abuse can make you a bit jaded towards everyone so try to keep an open mind. Things WILL get better, try to keep your grades up and save as much money as you can.
Soccer skills Rex Thanks man! I appreciate that :)
chickthatisnormal thanks for the advice :)
If you see this boogie please go on twitter and see my art page :) @Burgerdurk
I've been abused by my father and I've been molested by my uncle. My mother, finally, divorced my father due to the abuse he inflicted on my brother and I. My father beat my brother to the point that it landed him in the hospital due to broken ribs, a broken arm and a broken nose. My father's response was "walk it off.. Its not that bad. You'll heal, stop making this into a big deal." He left me, when I was 7, with my uncle who was known sex offender. When I told my father what my uncle did his exact words were "I'm sure you enjoyed it." Do you know how sick that is, for a father to say that to a scared 7 yr old girl. I told my mother about what my uncle did, and my uncle is still in prison for child molestation and pedophilia. Then I told her that my father left me there.. My mother chased my father around with a knife and all he said was "She's lying. It never happened." My mother believed me over my father and my parents divorced. Afterwards, it was the 1st time in my life that I felt safe.
I remember after seeing my brother in a bloody mess, my father turned to me and said "If you say a word to your mother, I'll slit your throat, you understand me?! Not one word." I was so terrified, I kept that secret til a few months ago. The situation was so traumatic that I blocked that memory until it came back. I remember another incident.. My father had a bad day at work and took his frustrations out on me. He beat me til I was bruised up. He then told me that I was worthless. With all that's happened to me, the only feeling I have towards my father is extreme hatred. I lost respect when he left me to be molested by my uncle. The only thing this has done for me is not to let my children go through the same thing I went through. I am happier with my husband and my children. I haven't seen my father in 15 yrs, and I wish I never see him again. Everytime I talk about what happened, I feel anger.
So, that's my child abuse story.. As horrible as it was to remember it, and as many tears as I've held back when writing this.. I hope you listened to my story. I've been judged by everyone for not being strong enough and being too scared to say anything.. But, all I can say to them: You weren't in my shoes. You have no right to speak. Thanks for listening..
Thank you
Did your father go to prison
Hello Boogie, I follow all your rambling videos (they are my favorites because I get so much inspiration from you as a person). Thank you for talking about this. I went to philip video and almost burst out in tears. What they are doing with that poor kid just destroyed me, but these are things that we need to talk about. We must give what we can to make both adults and children more conscious about this stuff. And you, as always, hit the point so well and so sincerely. I'm not lacking friends, but I'd really love to be your friend and ramble about stuff. I always relate with your sensitive and kind nature because I'm exactly the same, tho I didn't have such a shitty childhood as you, I have a pretty simple and standard life. As I always say, you are like an Alchemist to me: you turned all the shit of your life into gold. I hope you read this :)
Sorry about my English, BTW, I'm from Argentina and it is not my main language hehe
Mauro Annetta Wolf Your english is good dw about it ;)
my mom was an alcoholic. I haven't spoken to her in 3 years now. I get unreasonably angry whenever I see mothers day adds or when I hear someone say how perfect moms are. I know my experiences aren't the norm amd that there are many wonderful mom's out there but I can't seem to get over it. idk if everyone is sharing their story I thougt I'd share a part of mine. if any of you is dealing with an alcoholic parent as well know that it's not okay. but you can still learn to become happy, that's what I did.
KINGFAIL my dad was an alcoholic... he was a nasty drunk who didn't beat me or my family but would say the nastiest things. Never care about me or my sister, treated us like we were lower than dirt...etc he died 4 yrs ago. The last time we spoke we had an argument about something that ended with me storming out of his house crying my eyes out. And I honestly can say I have no emotions about him dying. I could care less if he was alive or dead. It's ok to feel like they don't deserve to be in your life... you said you haven't said that you haven't talked to your mom in 3 yrs. it's ok to be like that... just because they are your parent, they don't automatically deserve to be in our lives
KINGFAIL hey saw u were talking about moms and ur experiences are basically the exact opposite of mine, just felt like I should share cus u said Mother's Day gets u worked up. Maybe I just like to talk about my mom...idk what I'm doing. But my mom is the the best thing that's happened to my life. Anytime I was down, she would be there. Made me lunches growing up and has supported me through every tough situation I come across. She has also taught me right and wrong, empathy, care for others, and love. She is the best person I know despite the fact that she was abused growing up. Idk what I'm trying to say here but the best thing I can say is. if u decide to have a kid or if u already do then make sure they get a good mom, because she could be some of the most inspirational person to that kid.
Yeah, my dad is an alcoholic, and the worst he's done is almost burnt the house down
KINGFAIL ι
My mother started drinking when I was 10. She had recently been through a divorce and we were barely able to get by. Her motherly nature quickly changed to a constant resentment that she had to care for me. For weeks I spent nights in the car outside of her new boyfriend's apartment, not knowing how long I would be there alone or when I would be eating. After we officially moved in with her boyfriend, I almost never saw her sober again.
She was always trying to teach me a lesson by setting up these ridiculous situations to test how I would react, and I always blew up and would get beat or embarrassed in front of friends or family. For example, many times she would purposefully lose me in the grocery store and would get help to find me. She'd sob after I was found, "Oh my baby!", and then would ridicule me in front of everyone for being a bad kid that ran way, and it only got worse when we got home. I guess she needed the attention. No one ever believed me that she was doing all these things on purpose.
When I was 13, we crashed into a ditch from her drunk driving after she got in a huge fight with her boyfriend. I left my unconscious (but relatively unharmed) mother on the side of the road and walked to a gas station for help. I went to stay with my dad's parents immediately, and I've only seen my mother at Christmas and a couple other holidays each year since. All through my teenage years I just wanted her to admit that she was wrong and apologize, but she only made it out that I should feel bad for leaving her. I eventually stopped caring and moved on.
Years later when I was 22 she admitted to me that everything she did was wrong and that she was a bad mother. It didn't change anything as I had always wished it would. Even though she had quit drinking, I was too skeptical about her to believe that she wasn't just trying to get attention from me. I still only see her a couple times a year at family gatherings and try to avoid her. Sometimes I feel guilty for not giving her a chance, but the feeling goes away after I resume forgetting about her until the next family event. Is this normal?
This is normal how you feel. You don't owe your mother anything. You don't get to choose your family, but you get to decide if you want them in your life. The guilt nags you because we are always told "but thats your mom, thats family..etc etc".
If you are told not to keep toxic people in your life, that should also extend to family.
I hope things get easier for you
Like the guy above me said, you owe her nothing. The right choice is the one that helps your mental state the most. Wishing you the best
Jordan Sellers It is absolutely normal.
You feel guilty because you remember who she used to be. You grieve for that good part of her. You are reminded of that during family events... then life goes back to normal and your natural defense mechanisms take over.
Jordan Sellers - I think it's absolutely normal. Trust is not just given, it's earned. If she has truly changed her ways, it will show over time. I had to learn how to set serious boundaries with my own Mom. My trust is limited but my heart is protected. I educated myself and got some good counsel.
Everyone processes differently and taking time is a wise choice.
Thank you for making videos covering such important topics! I'm 19 and at university so I've temporarily left the abusive environment I grew up in but still have to return to it during the vacations. My mum has always had mental illnesses that have caused her to not understand how to look after children and caused her to be physically and mentally abusive. When I was 7 I tried to tell my dad that my mum was hitting me everyday and telling me to kill myself, that I'd ruined her life, was a waste of space etc and he just said I deserved it because I was badly behaved. This made me think it was normal and not bother to tell anyone until I was 16 when the police got involved because my mum hit me publicly. Since then my mum has tried to change and realised that what she did was wrong but it doesn't excuse what she did to me. My dad and stepmom don't understand the effect that my mum has had on my life and their response to finding out was to blame me for not telling them sooner what was going on. Since going to university my life has been so much better but I still get anxious coming home to my mum. I still feel sick with nerves whenever my mum's voice changes tone or she's stood closely next to me. I hope my children never have to feel like that.
Ur pretty
I'm glad I found you. No therapist has been able to help me so far. When I explain what has happened to me, they say that I have it all figured out, I should teach a class on narcissism, or that I simply have good coping techniques. That just translates to me that they don't know what to do with what I say. I'm a mess inside and I don't know what to do, I'm not a normal person. My parents neglected me as a child and I didn't have schooling after elementary school. A family member took me in at 16 and put me through high school but she became my main abuser and made sure I maintained no control over my life. She married the most brutal mental abuser I have ever met. He made my life a living hell for 2 years before I ran. This man made me contemplate stabbing him with an x-acto knife that I used for projects. His harassment was so brutal and constant. Thankfully I never resorted to violence.
I will go through all of your videos, I like the way to present yourself and your words get through to me. That's more than I can say about a lot of people. I'm relatively happy at this point in my life because I have found an understanding husband and I have a beautiful little girl. I struggle everyday to make sure her childhood will never resemble mine.
Thank you.
Krista and miniclip1162, please keep looking for the right therapist to help you. That person is out there. It took me a few tries, but I finally found mine and it's been a miracle. It's a process and healing isn't a perfect straight line, but damn, it is possible and it works. It's not uncommon to go through many therapists before you find the right fit for you, but it is worth the search, I promise! In the meantime, I found this video (which brought me to tears) through Kati Morton's UA-cam channel. If you haven't found her yet, she's a therapist who makes incredibly helpful, healthy videos. I'm certain she has some about finding the right therapist for you, and her videos in general are wonderful. Check her out if you're interested! I'm so sorry about the things you've been through. Hang in there, and remember that you are not alone!
As I dig into more of their videos, I couldn't imagine growing up in that household. Sure, my family was dirt poor and sometimes we'd wake up without heat in the house or have an occasional night without dinner, but at least my parents cared. They worked so hard to make it all work and the fact that they cared about us was never in question. That family looks like hell and they use money to bribe their damn kids into accepting it.
What I've learned over the years is that there's no such thing as "normal" parenting, unfortunately. As Boogie said, there is an ideal, but no "normal". I grew up with people who were verbally (and probably physically & sexually, though I never knew about it) abused and they still claim their parents are the greatest people ever. Funnily enough, it was usually the more "well off" parents who nurtured abuse.
Most kids know, either consciously or subconsciously, whether their parents truly love them or not.
what channel is it?
Morrius07 daddyofive
Dang dude your parents worked hard, that's what good parents are
I'd argue that normal parenting is one in which you do not abuse your children. That's a pretty simple indicator. Leaves room open for different parent types and other stuff.... but stuff like that video/channel. That's not normal. That's abusive and holy shit does my blood boil now that I know about that channel.
My mother used to crush my head between her legs, turn the light off and tell me the devil was coming, and frequently locked me out of my home with my underwear on. I still loved my mother, as most kids do. As a result of my childhood I have developed, in my adult life, incapacitating anxiety. I managed to find someone in my adult life who was the complete antithesis of my mother. Someone who was kind, loving, and caring. I still think back on the things that happened to me from time to time, and videos like this resonate with me. Speaking about the adversity that you've been through, although painful, can provide a cathartic release. I wish you and yours perpetual happiness, boogie2988, and anyone else who reads this.
I've never seen one of your videos before, but I saw your clip on the Philip DeFranco show and it hit so close to home that I had to come watch the whole video. Thank you for being so open and honest about your past and the horrible things you went through. Some people, like myself, aren't brave enough to talk about it. Ever. And I know it's important for people to talk about it and for there to be awareness, but it's like I just can't bare to speak about it. I try and I just start crying and the words never come out. So I just don't even try to talk about any specifics now and I'm 29 years old. So I really, genuinely appreciate your courage for being so open about your life. Thank you. 🖤
I was/have been raised in a christian home, with my Mom and my brother. My Dad passed away when I was around 12. So far, life is going well. I got myself a part time job doing some deconstructing and stuff for some renovations. I just wanna say Boogs, you are the only youtuber who I believe that shares exactly whats going on, no holes barred. As a result you have gained amny haters however your fanbase has grown and I love to see these legit, down to earth, type of rambling videos. They remind everyone that youtubers arent just youtubers. You are a person, with an identity, feelings. And I feel that alot of people tend to forget that. So I just wanna say, thanks for being yourself.
You look good with your new haircut Boogie.
Christian I agree. I thought it made him look thinner
Christian and younger!!
Christian oh yeah
Thinner than what???
it did make him look thiner than one of his older videos
I never thought emotional abuse was abuse until I was older. I never knew that people didn't talk to their children like they were sub-human. As if it were my fault for being alive, for "ruining her life" or being "the reason she drinks". I just wanted a ride home from school because I was staying late playing guitar.
I HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME in my head. YOU ARE THE REASON I DRINK. It's your fault I'm an alcoholic and I threaten to beat you for being a kid, for being too loud, for having too much fun, for having normal emotions and reactions to things. HOW DARE I BE A PERSON, I was a child and I needed to shut up, clean and go away.
Help was not to be asked for, then I was stupid. I was threatened much more than I was actually beaten but I remembered the beatings so vividly that even the threat was enough to send me into a panic attack. I've had them since I was so young that I didn't even know what was happening, why I felt sick like i yearned for something that was non-existent.
No matter how understanding I am or was of the fact that my mother was just a person or that she didn't understand the kind of damage she was inflicting upon my brain; I still live with the scars. The anxiety, depression, self-hate, the fucked up kidneys from the 99% salt diet, the panic attacks, self-harm, the shame I feel for wanting to have sex.
It's all still there no matter how understanding I am of her and why she was the way she was. I am slowly healing though. I will overcome this damage and live the best life I can. Thank you for your content and for sharing the things you do. These videos are therapeutic.
Hello boogie2988. This is the first time I've watched one of your videos and I'm glad I did. There's so much I want to say, but I will keep it brief as I know you have a lot to read. Sadly there's a name for what many of us went through. It's called Narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic personality disorder isn't someone staring at themselves in the mirror. It's someone that usually exhibits the behavior traits of those that abused us mentally and sometimes physically as children. They Gas Light, they Project, and twist reality to mess our minds up and ill prepare us for life. When you were explaining about your eating habits at home. I knew before you said it why it was happening to you. To make it so you couldn't leave. In my house though my mother ate horribly bad I was able to escape it and was always fit. That being said Munchausen syndrome by proxy was her thing, which sadly my brother followed suit to receive what he thought was my mothers love. Also she was doing this to screw up his life so he would never leave. As for me, because I tried the best I could to resist what was going on. I was labeled the scape goat and punished with more abuse and smear campaigns. Narcissistic abuse needs more attention brought to it, because I'm sure there are millions like us that will realize they aren't alone. I've been making videos for several years trying to do my part to help, and there are many others out there as well that are doing the same. I don't know much about your channel yet and what your beliefs are, but may God Bless you sir for making this video, and yes you are a success. Keep up the good work. Oh, and yes, there is always someone that knows, but they just won't say anything, and because of it children have to grow up like we did. It's just a shame.
James/begood4000
begood4000 im not trying to belittle anything you said, its just not fair to call something " narcissistic abuse". Even though a lot of narcisst are abusive, narcisst are not inherently abusive.
begood4000 “I will keep it brief”
WTF happend to you "Keeping it brief"?
my life so far hasn't been terrible, but certainly wasn't always good. for roughly the first two thirds of my life, my mother had to raise me and my little brother almost entirely on her own. i didn't live in poverty, but as you can imagine, this put a lot of stress on my mom. so much that repeated misbehavior could cause that stress to just make her snap. i have mild autism, so of course basic behavior just didn't click for me. you can guess how tough that made things. she isn't an abuser now, but as young and inexperienced as she was (she had me at seventeen!) and how she had grown up herself, she used to display pretty abusive behavior to make me and my brother behave. after a while, it just got to the point that the littlest things could set her off. eventually though, she just kind of broke down, and she told me about how she was abused as a child. i found out how terribly her mother had treated her, and i was horrified. everything made sense to me. something had clicked in her mind that day that made her realise what she was becoming, and from that day since, she has been nothing short of a wonderful mother.
;w;
its nice to see another undertale fan out here though!
That makes me fucking well the fuck up. It's actually really touching and sad and also good for an end. I'm glad that things worked out for you.
I grew up being raised by a single mother working two jobs and finishing her degree. She worked unbelievably hard to get me and my sister where we are today. Were there screaming matches? More than a few. But at the same time I knew that it was to shape me into the best me that I could be. She's my best friend and my hero.
Good on you but it's very different in a lot of cases In your case it was probably just screaming out of frustration which is normal in a one parent household but here in the situation boogie is talking about you have a full family picking on the youngest child for views and after destroying the child physically and mentally they just say It's just a prank bro.That is Grade A abuse.
Brian Rodriguez oh I agree. I was just going by what he said at the very end, that being to share your story of growing up. The 0Five parents need CPS to come back until they realize that nothing is ideal about that household.
Brian Rodriguez oh I agree. I was just going by what he said at the very end, that being to share your story of growing up. The 0Five parents need CPS to come back until they realize that nothing is ideal about that household.
can someone link me the philipe de franco video
Dalton Harper [Alpha] just search for Philip DeFranco and click on his most recent video (from the time of posting this)
I grew up poor, in a small town in Iowa. I grew up with an undiagnosed bipolar mother, and alcoholic father. I was slapped around, ass whupped, pulled out of bed at 2am because the bar closed and he couldn't stay...or beaten with whatever was handy because my mother was manic and angry...the worst of which was a full sized grilling spatula, too many times to count, until i was bleeding so much i stained the carpet...then i got beat some more for that... But that's not even the worst of it! I was being beaten once, and my mother got tired, and pushed me to the floor... where i proceeded to lay, for nearly 20 minutes. I had retreated within myself mentally, trying to hide, and had apparently gone catatonic, as I remember her yelling at me multiple times to get up, kicking me, slapping me... but I couldn't move. She then, in a bid to scare me into mobility, pointed a loaded(i know, because I had just cleaned and reloaded it a week before) hunting rifle at my head. You wanna know where my eyes were? on the safety...which was off, as my stepfather had instructed me to leave it, in case someone tried to come in the house. He wanted it to be a point and pull, usable defense weapon...and I followed those house rules to the pixel, my friend, because stepping out of line was painful. Her finger on the trigger, safety off, and all I could imagine was the release she was about to grant me. She finally put the gun down when i didn't move a muscle, and left me there. I half remember crawling up the stairs hours later, after the sun had gone down. What changed for me was when I got beaten one night, with fists, to the face...and went to school the next day with black eyes, a broken nose, and bruising everywhere else... because I never looked in the mirror. I was ashamed of who I was, so why would I ever care what I looked like? That was in 7th grade. I was put in foster care, then to my grandma's, but she couldn't handle my anger... so i went into the shelter system for a while. Immediately after that, i finally learned to control the rage that I had inside. Channeled it into sports. Became bigger, stronger... the courts checked on my "parents" and decided that the "counseling" and "lifestyle changes" they had made were enough for me to go back... WELL, things hadn't actually changed...except that i was no longer one to be pushed around. I fought back... and it all came to a head when I shoved my stepfather so hard against the counters one night, that he was the one who couldn't get up... I gave him a spinal contusion that he had to blame on "falling into a railing at work off a ladder" because he was so embarrassed that I finally stood up for myself. I never had a problem with them again. Went to college, joined the military, NEVER have I returned to live under their roof or under their care...and never will again. My children will never know the kind of life I was forced to live... and I will never allow a child in my purview to be abused as I was. I have made that commitment to myself and to my family. Thanks for letting me vent, Boogie. I appreciate it.
Really inspiring. I always dreamed that day would come for me but it never did. I was always too scared. I also remember wanting to join the military (maybe I thought it would make up for the lack of direction and discipline in my life). But never happened. fast forward about 10-15 years later I have 2 kids, have forgiven my parents and actually have a decent relationship with them now. I still have flashbacks in the form of nightmares at times and learn something new about whatever this is (ptsd?) everyday. My kids don't get corporal punishment. My kids don't get yelled at. My kids get respect, dignity, encouragement and love. They will never know what it was to live in my house for those tough years. Thank God I married a wonderful woman who had a healthy upbringing and supports this.
There is no feeling more satisfying than revenge is there? To finally have the tables turn, to be the one standing over them.
Rich Palmer lol I am not sure the revenge aspect is so satisfying as in the end to some degree you have to become what you hate in order to return that treatment to the person. But i don't think that's what OP did/said rather just the fact he spent some time away and was allowed to grow and gain self respect took away the fear of the abuser so he could stand up for himself. I always thought I could've physically stood up to my dad but the fear was always there. It's terrible and horrifying and no child should have to mentally overcome the barrier of seeing their caregivers as enemies and objects of aggression.
Alfonso, no, it didn't feel good. I mean, I suppose at the time I was satisfied by the outcome, but to be honest, I hate that it had to go that far. I hate them for what they did to me. I tried to forgive and forget... And move on... But to no avail. They refuse to acknowledge what they did as being wrong, and refuse to accept responsibility... So I've cut all ties. Being essentially orphaned doesn't make things better.
I had my moment where I was the one in control, like you in that moment the roles were reversed, my "moment" honestly did more for me than any therapist could ever do. I guess it depends on the situation but so many people will never heal and attempt to maintain relationships and "forgive" their tormentors in the hopes that their abusers will one day "realize" what they've done, and how it was wrong, and finally see that flash of remorse/ regret for the hell they've put them through, to understand what it was to be me, that they'll break down and beg forgiveness. Truly the only thing a bully understands is force, the only thing they respect is fear. I made my tormentor fear me, and in that moment when I was the one standing an they on the ground with fear in their eyes, I knew then an there the finally... finally understood what it was to be in my place. Although they never admitted/ acknowledged it, not with words at least, they didn't have to. Maybe this wasn't the case for you but it was for me, but it was more than just a base primal instinct to inflict pain. Witnessing your tormentor on the ground, witnessing that brief moment of fear, witnessing the closest thing to remorse they had to offer, was more satisfying, gave me more closure, brought me more inner peace, than if they walked in one day and broke down and begged forgiveness at my feet.
Without the mental abuse I went through growing up, I would not have the hardened skin to present myself on UA-cam and gain a following of subscribers. This is the silver lining to how I experienced growing up in my family.
Mom died when I was in the 6th grade - we moved - dad remarried a abusive woman - I became supper religious and relied on faith to get me through some very dark times. When I was 19 or so I moved away from believing in Jesus - and found that that crutch was all that was holding me up. Went through 6+ months of extreme depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, personal mental abuse - But I found my way out, found the girl of my dreams, grew up a little - I got tattoos to improve my self confidence (ex-step mom would pick on us about body image and acne when I was 15 or so) - I found out that I could be happy and live good life without relying on faith. I don't have any answers - but I think good things come along with time. Most of the time.
You're a very kind human being. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I took beatings here and there, but I never got mental abuse like that. Sorry that this happened to you.
And nice haircut
People who have gone through hell often are some of the nicest people you can meet.
That's very true, when you see negativity and how bad it is you want to do more positive things in life.
Mom's and Dad's are supposed to make a safe place for their kids. The home is sanctuary. We never argue and swear in front of our kids. You as a parent are supposed to be an example to your kids. Love you Boogie.
THE BARBARIAN stfu you do know that abusive fathers exist, right? Its not all the mothers fault, plus Some families divorce for good reasons.
THE BARBARIAN I'm the first one to say I could have raised my daughter no problem but with our 2 sons I definately rely on my husband. They are 14 and 16
W??????? ..... How & where did you get THIS hate filled comment, from what she said? Hate doesn't resolve anything. If you are being attacked by someone making you look like the "breeder" or "income" which, let's face it, is not going to work. Statistics show, the new education system doesn't work for most boys. Girls are excelling. The tables are turning for women to be the breadwinners. It is wonderful for those who wish to participate in it, the rest need to look into BASIC income because, tech will be replacing all of our jobs here in a minute if we don't blow ourselves up. The "old family values?" Can we just say, LOVE you BOOGIE rather than try to resurrect a dying way of life that caused a lot of harm, to more people than it worked for.
THE BARBARIAN - What era are you living in? Wow. There is so much anger inside of you. Once I was pretty angry like that. Time to explore the ROOT of your OWN FEELINGS. Stop attacking other people, be real with yourself, educate yourself and find someone to talk to that you trust.
THE BARBARIAN Are you so brainwashed by anti-feminist youtubers (sargon of akkad, bearing, ect.) that you legitimately believe that all women do is marry men, divorce them and leach off their money? You keep forgetting that not ALL women divorce men for their cash! A lot of couples divorce for lists of reasons like abuse, financial problems and trust issues. My mom and dad divorced because my mom caught my dad cheating on her, so don't tell me that all women are greedy whores you fucking douche.
Thank you for posting this. My childhood was horrible. I was abused by my family, bullied at school and by people in the community. I was told I was stupid and would never amount to anything. Nobody did anything to help me. At 15 I ran away and my dad played the victim and so I was ostracized for being selfish. I have so much anger about my childhood. My uncle used to take my grandmother on his drug runs and my mom was a nurse who advocated for special needs kids while my step-dad abused me in front of her.
Dude you're a pretty strong individual. And I look up to you for that.
Great video. I had a great home life, for which I am thankful for each day, however suffered relentless bullying for many years of my life. I told my parents, and they did what they could but honestly we all know that parents cannot always put a stop to what young people do. They were supportive and helped me learn to stand up for myself, but it was always a struggle. There are instances that occurred that I have apparently blocked out of my mind. My parents remember me telling them vividly and yet I cant even remember them, even more recent ones from my teens. Terrible things however, so it may be a sign of my brain removing them as they served no purpose than to cause traumatic memories.
Traumatic experiences follow a person, they simply just don't fade away over time. It caused me to have severe depression and social anxiety for many years. When the time came for me to leave to college I was excited to start fresh somewhere but had nearly crippling fear and anxiety over the possibility of things happening again. Thankfully they did not, and I met a ton of fantastic people and created a circle of friends that I never thought I could have. Even after in the workplace suffered bullying from coworkers and one manager through my years. I learned it happens in all walks of life but I refused to let it define me. If I couldn't work out a situation to make it stop, I moved on leaving the toxic people behind but always standing up for myself. They cannot and will not define me as a person, and I would not allow them to deny my happiness.
Even today in my 30's I still have anxiety around certain situations, however I have learned more coping skills through my years and have the ability to overcome it. I still remember many of the instances I was bullied and made to feel worthless, the struggle to simply go to school, or even out in public for fear of bumping into the people who seemingly made it their goal to make sure I was miserable. I see these as scars from those troubling times, they will be there but the more I fight to overcome them and limit their impact on my life the more faded they become. Life is hard, life can be cruel, but for me I have learned that a sense of self is so important, and that I am worth something and deserve to be as happy as anyone else. Nobody can take that from me, and in those times of self doubt I can say that I can always turn to my friends and family for support. I am blessed for that, and I hope that anyone going through similar or worse situations have somebody to turn to and understand that they are worth something and deserve to be happy in this life. Nobody defines who you are, you do and nobody can take that away.
Those parents think just because they live in a nice house and are able to buy their kids cool toys that THAT is taking care of their children. It isn't. The screaming and cursing and the constant stress those kids are under is not acceptable. The look on that little boys face is heartbreaking. And the dad and mom's response video is not acceptable either. They claim they are blocking ALL the haters. NO. They are blocking sound advice from parents and lot of other people, that know better than to treat their children or any child like that.
And Boogie, bless your heart. I know you can't forget your past but just embrace the now. You have so many people that love and care about you. I wish I had almost 4 million people that loved me.
Sassy Cat stfu your so stupid, the kids he pranked (cody and alex) are extremely rude and disrespectful, his house is a pranking house, they do all these hilarious pranks on each other and they are mostly harmless, I've been subscribed since 20,000 subs and have never hated or found a video harmful or faked. He is a very loving father and buys all his kids XBOX 1's and Ps4's and everything they want, they are spoiled and just because one event happened, doesn't mean that makes him a bad parent
they all love him and he loves them, all the haters obviously only see this ONE video, not the channel so they understand that ONE video instead of the heart in the channel
Potato President great trolling. I almost thought you were serious
Potato President I've watched a number of their videos and I'm sorry but you are wrong, there is absolutely at the very least emotional abuse going on in that house. One I watched most recently was their 'Cody gets put up for ADOPTION prank' which is just as disturbing and shows the father clearly has genuine anger issues and is abusing his children, especially picking on Cody (as abusive households tend to pick on one in particular). Wake up dude. They deserve a second chance though in my opinion, they can change.
I lived in Fresno California for a year. I was the only one in class with white skin. And was abused by my peers my, and my Mexican teacher. My teacher refused to teach the class in English even though we were in the US. And was once beaten so bad that I went in the hospital with a concussion and a broken jaw all because I was White.
I can relate to this more than I want to. At 13 I got a meth lab and a 24 pack of Milwaukee Best Ice for my birthday. Switched schools just about every month, kicked out for fighting, in and out of rehab and mental institutions before I was 18. I have tattoos on me I did when I was in middle school, yes, I built a tattoo gun and put ink in myself that I live with, because a boyfriend my mom had told me about people in prison doing it.
I'm 27 now, married 8 years. Own a mobile home (judge me...), yes still shitty and poor compared to middle class, but it's mine. Great credit score, new truck, making a living (we owe taxes now, we don't get a refund, we pay). Even taught myself how to write code and am "smart" to most people.
Looking back, I would do it all again. The fights, the drugs, the abuse, the *wont say even on the internet*. It has made me appreciate so much more. And not only that, but understand life and people and the edge of society because I was there. When you live in a place people call "hog pin" or "the bottoms", you see and understand the low end.
Boggie2988 is an inspiration to where I could be, to what I'm working for now. UA-cam isn't me, and I am still working a shitty min wage job for a toxic 'company'. But my mobile game is coming along, not quick but it's something. And this guy will *kinda* be in it. And hopefully one day I can quit my shitty job and do what I love just like this guy.
That's wonderful man. No judgment on the mobile home, you own it and that is something to actually own your home. You have made it so far in your life and you are an inspiration.
good luck to you!
In highschool I had a vice principle who hated me. She would do whatever she could to make my life terrible. She would punish me whenever someone else was caught bullying me and moved my locker to be next to the "special" kids in order to make things worse. This made me seriously contemplate suicide. Luckily, I didn't and when I moved out of 8th grade, I was no longer involved with her (my school had different vice principles for every grade).
But when I thought I was done with her, she was transferred to the elementary school that my little brother was attending. She then started going after him. She only stopped once my parents threatened a lawsuit against the school board. But even then she didn't lose her job because of the Teacher's union.
During that time was when I went from being a B+ to A- student, to being a C- student. When I moved forward in highschool I was mentally a year behind everyone else as I didn't learn anything in 8th grade. Math which was my best subject became my worst subject. She fucked over my entire academic life and drastically changed the direction of my education.
There is no one in this world I hate more than her, and she is the only one I actually wish physical harm on.
mattbenz99 Reviews I am sorry that you had to deal with this kind of shit. I wish you the best man.
mattbenz99 Reviews why the fuck did she hate you so much?
mattbenz99 Reviews weak as nigga
Not too late to get revenge. Just sayin' , but you didn't hear this from me k.
my house burnt down a few years ago, we lost nearly everything sentimental to us. We're currently living in a shitty rented place while the house is being rebuilt. unfortunately, we had a burglary that took the last of our sentimental jewellery and brexit made all our workers leave. the house is currently at a stand still. I can't play games with fire in them or struggle to sprint past. I'm also struggling with mental health. but! things are getting better, got into my uni of choice and I finally made a step to help myself with counselling. you helped a lot in that choice boogie, thanks for being real 🌟
driftingsakura this may sound counterintuitive but often the best ways to get over your fears are to face them head on.
when I was 10-11, we had a fire in our house because of bad wiring. Our TV started to burn, the window was open and so there was a lot of O2... I noticed when the fire was like a meter high. I was home alone with my grand grandmother, who had dementia. I tried to call my father's work, but couldn't reach him. I went outside, took our dogs outside too, and was shouting for the neighbors to call the firemen. It all ended well (I mean, nobody died, just one of our dogs managed to run away - we never saw her since), but for ~0.5-1 year I couldn't stay home alone when anything at all (except the fridge) was plugged in. I was hysterical asking others to come back and to pull it all out before leaving. For a couple of years we even pulled everything out from the sockets before going to sleep. To this day we pull everything out (but the fridge) before leaving the house. I was afraid of gas burners and couldn't turn the fire on myself. And I studied Chemistry in uni, so we had burners everywhere - it was a pain to learn to use them, because up to 18 I was still afraid of them - 2 years after starting uni. But what I can say is definitely this: it does get better. I used A4 paper to light the burners, then mantel matches, and then went down to the usual ones. Just... don't be ashamed to admit that you're scared, it's totally normal. Do what you've got to do, and it will be OK. Best of luck to you!
driftingsakura I
Redda "Brexit took all the workers" please read op again.
paul vernardo your comment is irrelevant and incorrect. Immigrants are usually ideal workers because they want to prove themselves to their foreign country of choice that they can work quickly and efficiently for a lower wage. Although in this instance I highly doubt that immigrants were working on his house.
I have been reading these comments for almost 30 minutes and I honestly have no words to describe how I feel. Although there was shouting and yelling in my house, my parents never abused me the way that some people have described here. They had problems (financially) but they were always supportive and caring of my sister and I and motivated us to be good, kind people. They gave me a good childhood and it makes me mad to see how other people in these comments suffered at the hands of their parents. To those who endured abuse and neglect yet had the courage to post your experiences here, I say thank you for your words and commend you for your bravery. You are the master of your life and despite having gone through so much pain, here you are, rising above it. Carry on, everyone.