How Drunk Is Too Drunk? | Sex & Lies
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- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- How drunk is too drunk to have sex? When does it become non-consensual? BBC Three delves into the topic to ask at what point does a drunk encounter turn into a sexual offence.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by the issues in the documentary, further support and advice can be found here: www.bbc.co.uk/p...
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Personally I go with the rule; if my friends are too drunk to get home safely by themselves, It's my responsibility to keep them safe. That's What we do in my friend group - always keep one semi sober friend, to watch out for the others
personally i think everyone should be responsible for their own safety, a friend of mine was once left behind by her friends while she was wasted. glad nothing happend but things could be worse. do not trust your safety to others.
Dont make it a rule or you will end up the designated driver! Your mates should be responsible for themselves, and you shouldnt be relying on others to keep you safe.
Rosa FancyPants I’m always that friend lmao
Depends where you live, remember I got badly fucked. Didn’t know a thing the next day. Don’t know how I got home what I said how I got in bed nothing
Cockblocker is the term
"How drunk is 2 drunk" When you start making battlefront 2 a pay to win game
go outside you nerd
Bobby Beale you killed lucy!!!!
I used to play on that server... but i got banned from outside
Lmao this made me laugh
Speaking as a man, I'm been in a situation where I've been way too drunk to consent but a girl hasn't taken no for an answer.
Have you filed a police report? That's illegal m8
I'm sorry. I hope that didn't affect you long term.
Looks like I've missed up two things in this first comment...
You were raped and she is an awful person who needs to be in jail. I’m so sorry that someone did that to you.
@@allylando3777 I would say this happens in 80% of sex these days. Now, most of the time, the man isn't going to say no, but if you have a woman, who is at least tipsy, feeling horny and after you, you are far more likely to have her out for your blood if you say no, than if you say yes. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.
The worst part of it is that most sex between young people these days fits the legal definition of rape. Whether it is because the sex is a bit rough, or because the woman is impaired from alcohol or recreational drugs, whether the man has his life ruined is pretty much down to the whim of the woman.
Actually, the fact that so few men do get prosecuted for date rape is testimony to the fact that most women are actually relatively decent, and the police aren't nearly as stupid as people say.
If the person is not reciprocating your affection, they do not consent. Drunk or not drunk.
You also have to be aware of degrees of affection. If someone is comfortable with kissing when drunk, then it doesn't mean they are comfortable with it going further.
Regret is not rape
Catherine Boleyn thank you!
Catherine Boleyn exactly
Fuck
You.
Carly Patrick Why it’s the truth... Regretting something isn’t rape.
Regret is not rape, but in all of these cases the women said “no” which does make it rape.
I’ve never heard of “ ask for Angela” but sounds sensible
Gemini M my names is Angela how can I help u 🤣🤣🤣🤣
yea I was going to make the same comment, I think it's a very, very good idea and I really hope it spreads.
Gemini M I think if I say is Angela there barman gonna say wtf u on abt
Gemini M Angela saved many lives
I've seen it at my student union 😊😊
Be smart and aware of your surroundings. Never go out by yourself, always tell others where you are going. never get so wasted or high that you cannot control yourself or you lose consciousness. Unfortunately there will always terrible people.
Be safe. ❤️
PLUS DONT CHEAT YOUR BOYFRIEND BY HAVING 3 BOTTLES OF WINE WITH A STRANGER LATE NIGHT IN BAR AND THEN GOING BACK TO STRANGERS PLACE TO WATCH A " MOVIE" then riding him all night lol
What if you have no friends? How do you go out and make friends if you have none to start with? It should be safe to go alone male or female.
@@aellalee4767 she has a boy"friend" but sure she needs more guy friends
A couple of months back i saw a guy almost carrying this stumbling drunk woman out of the club, the bouncers watched it happen without asking if they knew each other even when she fell over, she was a total mess and gurning and didnt even have any shoes on and he was still tryna flirt with her when he didnt even seem drunk. I went and grabbed her and asked if she knew him and she was like 'nah hes gonna be my boyfriend for the night'. Alarm bells went off and I took her back with me and gave her a sofa to sleep on, but i was fuming how noone reacted to what was happening when they obviously didnt know each other and she had obviously lost her friends. Who is protecting these vulnerable men and women from getting assaulted when bouncers kick them out of the club for being too drunk, but wont help them find their friends inside to look after them
DaisyDrawsStuff not the bouncers responsibility and it's not their friends responsibility either. Are you supposing that drunk women should have protective privileges that absolve them of their own idiotic decisions?
Stupid woman. Not the bouncers' or friends' responsibility
What the heck guys, where is compassion? If you see someone in need, you help them, not call them names! Smh
Being drunk is not someone in need. It's someone making a voluntary decision to spend money and binge on a drug. The beggar is in need. Not the drunk. THis wouldn't even be a topic of discussion if people drunk responsibly
DaisyDrawsStuff that was very nice of you to do. These days the door supervisors do actualy get this in training. It is dutey of care. I know this because i got a licence
Good thing I watched this, It sorted out any confusion I had from the time I got drunk and a girl had her way with me and I couldn't consent.
Dude that sucks have you gotten counseling? Lots of times when intoxication is involved victims feel guilty. Im sorry man.
If YOU do get help, keep it confidential from friends. Friends can be big critics. I've been in your shoes twice with the same chick, also caught chlamydia both times. This was my ex girlfriend's little sister. My ex laughed at me twice. You should know your limits with each drink
did she bum you with a big strap on?
1:55 did she say she told her boyfriend..she was going to another guys house..🤨🤨.did I hear that right
What are you implying? Are girls not allowed to have friends from the opposite gender anymore?
@@RoxOn413 nope, it's perfectly sensible to get completely wasted and go to stranger's house to "watch videos". Why her boyfriend would be againt that?
Too drunk is when you lose the ability to stand up. It would take a DANGEROUS amount of alcohol to get ME to that point though.
I’m so saddened by the comments already.
The entire point of this video is to raise awareness & to discuss the topic, but so many are doing exactly what the police officers & the victims want to stop; victim blaming / ‘slut’ shaming. It stops both men & women coming forward because of the backlash of nasty tongues from people who have (thankfully) never found themselves in such a predicament.
It doesn’t matter what your views are on how women dress, or how much alcohol men & women consume is, the point still stands that if a person is so inebriated they can barely walk let alone talk, they aren’t in a position to consent to sex. If someone is forcing themselves on another person when they’re drifting in & out of conscious, it’s rape.
Part of growing up for a lot of people is being free spirited enough to make mistakes & learning from them. Getting blotto’ with friends, throwing up & having a 3 day hangover isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but you live & learn. You learn your limits, you know when it’s not wise to mix drinks, you know that vodka really doesn’t sit well with you; & as easy as it is to say ‘STOP DRINKING’, it’s still their right to choose whether they wish to drink, that doesn’t mean they’re asking to be raped.
Surround yourself with sensible friends, learn your limits, always have a taxi number or a ‘safe’ friend on speed dial (who you know will take care of you if necessary), have fun but be safe.
And please. Don’t victim blame. There is never an OK situation (whether male or female) to force yourself upon another person. Drunk or sober. Ever.
sausepoon and men will still rape is every other situation, problem not solved
See, I believe the last two women because their stories seem realistic. The first girl obviously cheated on her boyfriend and used rape as an excuse, which is something that everyone should be angry with because she's the reason that women who are genuinely suffering are called liars when they report cases of sexual abuse. Nothing to do with slut shaming or victim blaming and then the guy who she cheated on her boyfriend with is cast as a rapist. That's just as disgusting as someone raping another person in my opinion.
Cuileann Carthy so I'm assuming you know this woman personally and she told you she was lying? If not then you don't know if she did cheat or not.
Actually that's not a logical tautology, maybe you should read up on boolean logic before applying it to a mathematician. First your assumption is wrong, I do not know the woman. Secondly:
p1 = if you have not met this woman
p2 = then you do not know if she cheated or not.
(p -> q)
So I will prove you wrong logically using proof by contradiction:
¬p1= if you have met this women
¬p2 = then YOU KNOW if she cheated or not.
(¬p -> ¬q)
Where p represents "proposition"
She admitted she cheated on her boyfriend and then when he suggested it was rape she accepted that as what had happened. Nothing about her story makes sense.
I suggest you read up on boolean logic, that way when you make arguments you can be logically correct.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boolean_algebra
Cuileann Carthy where did she admit to cheating on him
‘The way I dress does not mean yes’ what a genius saying!
Honestly there are A LOT of people, both men and women, who don't really understand what consent is and we need to be educating people more. We need to start discussing these sorts of things in schools. I had a wonderful teacher who covered all these sorts of things in health class, including the warning signs of abusive relationships, safe sex, etc.
Bright Trials totally agree, but they should also teach that regret is not rape
They do teach this in schools. It's part of the curriculum in the UK government according to my old school. You teach it in PSHE
I cant believe the amount of people especially women who shrug off inappropriate behavior as "just club culture" if i wanna go out dancing i shouldn't have to worry about being grabbed by a stranger out of no where. No one should have to deal with that men or women.
Jacqueline Lyons I think it’s common to be grabbed at clubs, that’s why I don’t go!
Yeah well, I mean, totally, u agree, but that’s quite idealistic, and you have to learn to take the good side with the bad side and always take precautions or find alternatives if you don’t like it :/
Yeah sure we should teach people to stop this behavior but cmon, that’s honestly not gonna happen now is it :/
That's like saying I shouldn't to worry about getting robbed or something like that.
Go to all female
Answer: Too drunk to give consent is when the person, male or female, is unconscious and not able to give verbal consent or reciprocate. The three cases in the video are examples of this: the first said "no", the second was passed out, the third lost the motor skills to respond. However, if the person was simply so drunk that it affected their behaviour, memory and judgment, it IS consensual if the person responded positively. Regretting it or forgetting it is NOT a justified reason to cry rape! In any case, both sides of the story should be considered so no one is falsely accused.
EliteXtasy if you fear getting called a rapist then you already are in a situation where you shouldnt be. And sadly most of the time there really arent considered both sides of the story: most of the time its just like "oh you just forgot you wanted it" and thats it.
I dont know any girl or woman who werent in a situation where she was drunk and something happend to her that she didnt want but blamed herself for it anyway. it doenst matter if in this situation a men raped them or touched their ass. its always them and the alcohol who and wich are in charge. never the guys.
ann I never fear getting called rapist because I'm a petite young lady. No guys thinks about accusations of rape while engaging in consensual sex. How do you know that girl really didn't just forget?? Stopped being so biased.
EliteXtasy oh i know for example that i didn't want it? Whos beeing biased? I think you are.
ann So you don't remember anything? You're assuming you were raped because you have no memory of anything? How do you know you didn't give consent? Do you have any solid evidence that you were raped? Injuries, blood test, CCTV, witnesses etc?? Were you at least passed out?? If not, you run the risk of falsely accusing an innocent person. I'm being level-headed.
EliteXtasy oooooh i didn't know i have to not remeber a thing to get harrassed while beeing drunk. Thanks for telling me so!
“We’ll watch a video”
Elliot Thomas "I felt guilty because I had thought I had cheated on my boyfriend, but then I realised when questioned by the boyfriend I thought I had cheated on, that I was actually just raped instead"
"My boyfriend knew where i was" alrighty then
what the fuck is wrong with y'all???/ she literally said no and he continued anyway, regardless of her alcohol intake that is literally rape.
Lol .. i went like "yeahhhh righttt"
Olga Viktorivna yes, it absolutely is victim blaming. Going to somebody's house doesn't mean you are expecting sex, it means you are going to somebody's house. Just because YOU read something into that does not make it her responsibility.
Letting someone but you a drink is not consenting, going to someone's house is not consenting, getting drunk with someone is not consenting. And none of those things mean that you owe anyone anything.
To imply that a rape victim - which she absolutely, undoubtedly is - is in any way responsible for what happened to her, for the violence that another person chose to inflict on her, is victim blaming, and you can take that gross rapey attitude somewhere else.
You shouldn’t be grabbing anyone in a club on the arse or wherever.
It’s not something people should be used to because you wouldn’t do it in a street because you know it’s wrong but as soon as they know they can get away with doing it funny how it’s all okay
Shows the true character of people 👏🏻
A thing that bothers me about sex Ed (at least in Sweden) they never talked about consent. Only info we where given was about violent rape when there’s a woman unconscious. Nothing about other types of rape.
Years ago I went back to a girls flat, she seemed too drunk to be able to consent, so I made sure she got in bed and I left. I saw her next week and she couldn't really get why I never slept with her. I told her that i wanted too but she was too out of it to consent. She actually got really emotional and thanked me for thinking of her wellbeing. We ended up sleeping with eachoher that night but we was both a lot less drunk and she was able to properly consent. People if you are going to have sex with someone make sure you ask them to consent, even if you believe its a given, just to cover yourself. It may seem wiered but its better to have absolute clarification. Some people may have regret afterwards and cry rape even if it is not true, so make sure you don't get caught up in it. Also remember a person can change there mind at the last. Be safe out there guys and girls.
Our bodies are our responsibility no one else's. We need to stop putting ourselves in reckless situations then use a serious word to nullify our recklessness and guilt.
Spencer Fernando Lebotse dude in this video they all were truly raped. They all said no, were unconscious, or were unable to talk none the less move away! This isn’t regret its rape
Always good to have that one sober friend to pull the reigns in 😂🤣
Regret definitely is not the same as rape. Impaired reasoning should always mean a "no" even if the person say "yes" and taking advantage is dubious as a right.
Then in your point every woman who has had sex with there boyfriend while he is drunk is a racist
If the person saids yes and are still aware of what they are doing, it’s not rape but it is taking advantage of if the person is doing something’s that they normally wouldn’t do
"I gave him consent but I didn't really want to.." WTF😂
Rokosiano Sosefo if she feels pressured into giving consent and is also very drunk it’s still not okay. Consent isn’t that one sided. Also what exactly is consent, is not saying no also consent ? A difficult discussion and not a place for you to belittle girls and men’s story’s about something horrible
@@AnnaLouisa954 "is not saying no also consent"
No, means No. Please don't complicate matters.
It’s called pressure. If someone feels pressured into doing something then they might allow it, or say “yes”, or say “okay”, simply because they are scared of the consequences if they don’t, or they might be too drunk to understand that they’ve consented to something they don’t want to do. Especially amongst young people, engaging in sexual activities can be seen as important, and cool, and something which everyone seems to be doing and therefore those who don’t do it get bad labels, which is horrible, but it creates this pressure for people to conform and to have sex or do something sexual even if they don’t want to - they are just scared of what others might think. People give consent when they don’t mean it or when they are too drunk to think rationally or take back their control. It is the role of the other person to think about whether or not they are making the situation into a pressuring one. It disgusts me that people can’t understand this concept of pressure. Sex should not be pressured onto people.
Pressured sex. I personally consider that rape. They are being not only influenced by alcohol but saying yes out of reluctancy. Not fully wanting it.
@@pineappleabbie2763 So because it is seen as normal by peers to have sex such pressured people are being raped if they give in to that? By whom? The person you are having sex with? Their peers? The alcohole? Now if just one person is responsible for all the pressure I can understand the accusation. If both are drunk, it gets complicated already. Just don't get drunk or otherwise drugged or have friends protect you to stay safe instead of accusing others for your helplessness and weakness.
Ive had it when I'm the sober one and a guy has been trying to get it on and I said to him "no you're too drunk" and he got so offended about it, but I did the right thing as I would HATE it if the situation was swapped and he didn't say no.
McInHeather thats awesome! Not alot of people view male consent and ability to consent with the same level of importance, which sucks.
This is really sad, I am so glad I don’t drink alcohol.... feel saddened by this, woman are raped and they are questioning whether it was actually rape or not!? Or whether it was slightly consensual, gosh what a world.
v1337zInfusion keep your abuse to yourself and to the unlucky people in your pathetic, sad, miserable life!
Gosh on the other side of a rape accusation there's a man that could be innocent, quick put him in jail whenever a female says she was raped without questioning if she is telling the truth and also fuzz Wuzz murdered me arrest her!
Cuileann Carthy I don’t think I was stating that women complaints are taken serious and not men.. I actually stated that, these women who are raped, aren’t actually sure themselves whether they were raped or not.. because why, they were too drunk. That makes it sad, that a person can drink so much that they are not in a state of sanity and not in control of their own self..why do men and women do this to themselves, as in out themselves in situations, that they get raped and still unsure of it.. not sure if that made sense to you. I don’t know how else to express it..
I KEKKER I i think it’s funny that so many ppl are more concerned with the idea that a man could be falsely accused (false report of a crime, or perjury which are both crimes) than the idea that people are actually raped.
I KEKKER I for real? I think you’re overblowing a false accusation. Being raped can destroy a life from the inside out. A false accusation is just fighting public opinion. If you move to a new state it’s over. If you’re raped it follows you forever.
It's important to educate people to stay safe and be responsible
Just remember in UK and US law, it is impossible for a woman to rape a man. The definition of rape is "forced penetration of the victim". There is no double standard at all...
Um... it is possible if the woman gives the man a prostate exam against his will. Or French-kisses him against his will. That's forced penetration of the victim.
@Ronnie McDonald So you'd like to see the law changed to forced penetration or forced envelopment of the victim?
incredible topic. thanks for doing your research to enlighten us 👌💯
how is a guy, who most likely is also drunk himself, meant to judge how wasted another person is or isn't, that's down to the individual to look after themselves. I've definitely had times where ive woken up with a complete blackout of the previous night but my friends all said I seemed completely coherent and stable at the time and I was dancing and walking without falling over and chatting to everyone and had in-depth logical conversations, so were surprised I was so wasted; so if I'd met a guy in that state he wouldn't have known just how drunk I really was. there is a huge difference between getting into bed uninvited and having sex with a girl who is clearly unconscious or paralytic, and going home with a girl who seems really into you and really happy and chatty. just because she wakes up sober in a different frame of mind and regrets it does not mean that at the time she didn't want it and that the guy raped her. also, the girls word shouldn't automatically be believed over the man's and the possibility of her lying should always be investigated.
A lot of this is confusing. But what isnt confusing is when someone says "no". Feel like thats pretty straight forward.
Baraka Gitari if your drunk out your mind you don’t know what you are doing and when sexual assault happened to me I froze and went mute, sometimes you can’t say no and before it happened I thought Omg if that ever happened to me I would be able to say no but I just couldn’t
I agree. I went with a friend from work (summerjob) to get pizza and eat it at his house since he insisted and I was free that night. Later, I told him I was having sex with a guy (his best friend) and was mad at that guy and he thought I was promiscuous and he wanted to have sex with me. I told him no and then he said something like "let me at least finger you so you can release your frustration with that guy". I told him "no" at least 7 times and I wasn't drunk. I tried to get out of bed, since it was midnight and there was no public transport until 3 in the morning he told me I could sleep in his bed and I was so stupid to think that we would just "sleep". So, I tried to get out of bed and he forced me down saying "I know you want it" and I just said "I want to sleep, leave me alone", he insisted so much and was getting more aggressice and I felt forced to let him finger me cuz he was going to do it either way. He forced himself with his fingers and I was lucky I hadn't drunken anything so I was fully conscious when he said "let's have sex" and I said "no, I'm already sleeping with your friend" and he seemed to leave me alone since I was saying I didn't even want him to finger me in the first place. I don't think I've ever told this story to anyone, maybe one close friend or two but never my family or anything like that. I felt there was no point in telling Police since it was kinda my fault when I accepted his invitation for pizza at his house, alone and I wasn't even in my country so they wouldn't do anything and since it wasn't sex I felt there was no point in reporting anything. I felt super gross after it and guilty because I saw him as a friend and was not sexually attracted to him nor did I have any intentions like he did. I kept myself awake the whole night, fearing he would rape me during sleep.
@@Carolina3788 Sorry that happened to you😔 you should have reported him for assault or harassment so that he won't be doing anything to anyone else but I'm glad it didn't escalate any further than that.
When people don’t want it to happen it’s not consensual
the first woman tho , she had a boyfriend and she willingly got really drunk and went to some random dudes house , WTF ?
D P called a slut
Its called regret you can see by facial expressions shes full of shit. Literally...
@@pinksubmarine6650 lol poor boyfriend
If this woman had a boyfriend or not is inconsequential. If she was drunk or not is inconsequential. No woman should ever have to go through that.
I once drank half a bottle of wine and then took a cigarette. It made me so I'll that I ended up throwing up and basically couldn't walk. I was so afraid that the guy who I'd been making out with for fun would take advantage of my curremt state, but he only helped me by holding my holding my hair back while I trew up, helped me get to the couch to lie down then brought me water and food. A half bottle of wine is usually just enough to make me tipsy but that afternoon it was enough to make me so drunk that I could barely keep my body up by itself. I feel like I was lucky that day. But if the guy did take advantage of me. Would it be my fault for not eating enough and forgetting my low tolerance for nicotine?
"Just because she's drunk, she's not asking for it. Just because she's wearing a short dress, she's not asking for it. Just because she's weak and vulnerable, she's not asking for it."
PREACH👍
Just because she took 10 shots
Just cause she decided to go back to the house with him
Just cause she did all this she can't consent but a man in the same state can.
@@silasj1090yes
Yes
No
Is that difficult?
@nellfromhell7192 no its not difficult it's bullshit double standard
Forgive me if I am the only one that thinks this, but why would you go to a guys house youve just met if you have a boyfriend ??? Im sorry but it just confuses me.
I thought that ,but if she was drunk that's probably why. Either way she was taped and that's not okay
I’m engaged and I go to male friends houses sometimes to watch movies and have some beers or whatever. Doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck them
THE KuKluxFags what I’m saying tho is I don’t think my S/O would mind if I did, if anything he would worry about my safety first
Jo Kelsall she did that because when you’re drunk, your mind may start to look at things in a different perspective. If she was sober, then she’d probably realise it was a stupid thing to do but since she was drunk, her decisions were influenced by alcohol.
You don’t think rationally when you’re drunk.
jesus that sexual assault worker literally blames the victim so badly. Imagine going through all that and then going to get help and basically being told they shouldnt have got that drunk because it makes them too vulnerable???
Answer: even if a girl is “to” drunk, wearing a short skirt or asking for it... you should teach men that women aren’t sexual objects and they have the right to have consent too.
Everyone’s a sexual object
Wearing a short skirt does not make a difference to sexual predators. There’s studies out there that shows clothing does not make a difference to men to sexual assault rather submissiveness and yes vulnerability (being drunk)
It’s a shame men who sexual assault are part of my gender 😢
@@raunakiqbal8188 its a shame the snowflakes don't know how to tell women not to go home with men they don't know or get to drunk to know where there not. And last time I check man get drunk at bars to so women who have sex with men thats drunk are rapist to.
Your body is your responsibility, this is true both for men and women. If you're afraid of doing something you'd regret later, just don't drink that much, it's as simple as that
The way I see it
If the person’s too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent
In a way yes but only if they're unable to even get in the car and attempt to drive, cos people are still held responsible for drunk driving if they have enough cognitive function to get in the car and drive dangerously. If someone is literally so drunk that they're unable to consent then it's rape.
You are not to blame the scumbag who did that to you is to blame! !! You have admitted to it and your a very strong woman so much respect to you girl !! Xx
"How drunk is too drunk" releasing the infinity war trailer *WAY* before it comes out
conor gavin
It's only may.
AgentNero still, feels like a decade
I cannot stand the comments telling people to simply not drink and nothing will happen. People, both men and women, can get raped with no alcohol involved so the rapists are the problem, not alcohol.
I remember as a 13 year old being chased up a road by a guy who began by flashing me. I jumped on a bus and told the driver (even tho I had no money). I'd been working in a stable all day. Fairly sure it wasn't what I was wearing....
The blond chubby girl said that she had a boyfriend but still drunk 3 bottles of wine with another man and went to his house and she said she only first became properly drunk when she went to his room what did she expect to happen when she went back to his house with him?
No means no.
Guys who take advantage are dogs, women who get that wasted are idiots.
Sean Fenwick You've never been drunk then?
1:00 looooooool I live 5 mins away from here
If u can't walk without falling ur too drunk
3 bottles of wine "suddenly hit me" when I was sitting on his bed. Can't a reporter call bullshit when she hears it?
Telling people to not drink so much to put them in that situation is not victim blaming, its called personal responsibility. Which will help the situation and people affected 1000x more than dodging the issue ever will. Everyone can make a conscious decision to try and not put themselves in that situation.
After two friends of mine (a girl and a guy) drank from the same glas and nearly passed out after a while it hit to us (rather on the next day) that they got drugged. if it was only her that got so drunk that night and he woudlnt have drank from the same glas everyone would have (as always) said: oh she just drunk to much and wasnt responsible! i wonder how often very drunk women are "just" very drunk and how often they actually got drugged.
As a witness you dont see a difference, as the drugged person you just feel very very drunk. so how will you find out in an other way besides conincidence like this?
I don't drink but people should be able to have fun
I had the same thought... like how about you don't drink until you can't stand up? It was just as much a choice for you to get blackout wasted as it is for you to have sex. Of course, that being said, Ann still makes a valid point in that some of these situations are caused by the victim being drugged. I've seen some disgusting videos where a random dude slips something into a random girls drink plain as day to an observer but she didn't notice it at all, I'm sure it happens far more than anyone would guess and that's just plain fucked up.
I always go with my friends that are heavy drinkers. I don't drink, but I look after them. If some weird guy approaches I give him the bad look.
I'm similar, I barely drink for health reasons. The other night 4/5 guys tried to hit on a girl friend of mine and I had to ward some of them off. Some people don't know boundaries it seems.
another reason to smoke weed n not drink
Did a course on consent and once u have taken even one drink u cannot give consent
Main focus being the males fault... not always
Your still responsible for your actions while intoxicated, if your your kill someone while your are intoxicated while behind the wheel is it still your fault?
Rape is when u don’t give consent so if someone is too drunk and can’t give consent that’s rape it’s obvious to me
1:07 the guy was blaming himself for being too drunk too
so many comments are so upsetting because people watch this and still dont understand
In my opinion is everyone ask why you are so drunk? Why they dressed a certain way ? Etc rather than why does this person feel so entitled they take without consent. Why can't a female wear a certain type of clothing, or walk down a poorly lit street or, go out for drinks and though I'm not promoting excess drinking the fear of maybe we'll be raped should not have to cross our minds. I/ we shouldn't have to live our lives thinking this action could potentially lead to me being raped. Attack those who are unable to comprehend no means no & silence isn't a yes
Men should be taught how to behave properly and what they can’t do instead of telling women to be cautious all the bloody time
Women should be taught not to head for a guy's bedroom and sit on the bed with buttons half undone....
Why go to a stranger's place in the first place. Go home and sleep it off for crissakes
well these women are to be blamed for they in the environment and get pissed if they know to well the situation don’t drink
Do people actually justify rape and sexual assault with “they were asking for it” never heard it actually said before, just heard people saying people say it
There‘s a difference though, and when it happens to you, you know it. I was 16 when I was sexually assaulted in a club by a guy more than 10 years older than me, and he knew I was that young because he was a „friend“ of one of my then best friends boyfriend. I had never seen either of them before, I only knew their age name and where they came from basically. To this day I still don’t know If I was drugged or ‚just’ completely intoxicated. He got us all drinks, constantly, I accepted, but at one point I just became absolutely unable to speak and move my body the way I wanted it to. I was completely drunk to the point of stumbling. He dragged me to the dancefloor where he stuck his hands down my pants. I know that if I had been concious at that point I would’ve stopped him, and that’s the point. I was out of it to the point of not being able to talk correctly or stand up and also scared. I was very scared, that sort of scared that makes you immobile. I just remember bits of what happened afterwards but I remember he dragged me out of the club first behind some cars standing there and then behind a shed that was somewhere close to the club. I remember just not registering what was happening, but there were people and he had his hand in my underwear and would try to pull down my clothes and all I could hear was people sniggering around us. I didn‘t even feel helpless or afraid, because I was so out of it. I felt like a marionette honestly. Not thinking anything. I blamed myself for years, I was scared to death anytime someone would mention STIs next to me because it would trigger my memory to the evening because I just felt so dirty inside and out because of what happened. even though I knew that he couldn‘t have spread anything to me because he didn’t have a condom with him and that prevented my first time being non-consensual which is crazy. after he saw that though he turned me around and wanted to stick his dick up my ass completely unprepared, which obviously does not work. He let off after that. Honestly horrible doesn‘t even describe the feeling of constantly blaming yourself for something like that. he almost surely doesn‘t even remember anything about me or is the sort of person that think it‘s all fine, even if he knew how young I was. Idk i‘m getting dizzy thinking about it, it‘s just one of those things I stored away somewhere very deep in my brain and not let it out unless I see videos like this and people saying if you drink you‘re automatically willing to have sex with anyone and everyone, which is a weird and incredibly stupid thought chain
Zu Zu people will try to tell you that somehow what happened to you was your fault but it was not AT ALL, you didn’t deserve what happened to you and the only person who deserves to be punished for what happened is that dude not you, do not listens to those people who shame the victim they are horrible and toxic and most importantly WRONG, I hope you’re doing okay and I hope things are better that sounds like such a scary thing to be apart of
You should never have been in a club or drinking at 16.
First Name are you seriously trying to victim blame ?
what's all this blaming yourself shit with women. If you don't know if something is happening against your will or not then you must be stupid. You should track that guy down and report him
Why as a 16 year old, were you in a club with alcohol to begin with? How is this even legal?
The blonde one chose to go back to a guy's house before the alcohol hit her, so I get the confusion as to why she drank 3 bottles of wine with a man and go to his house despite having a bf. The second girl that was in her own bed with friends over and a guy let himself in to her room...there's no blurred lines there!!
This video is so biast towards women like I know women are more likely to be sexual assaulted but not one male example was given where the man gets raped and I understand that this is not the point of the video it's just to spread awareness but if you going to spread awareness spread it in all areas
Kevin The Doll not to mention if you add prison rape into the stats men are raped more than women.. but everyone acts like women can do nothing wrong when it comes to sex . A man could be black out drunk and a women sober and if they have sex the women would never consider it wrong
I agree, but in all likelihood I doubt they could find any men to come forward to be interviewed, sadly. Women are far more likely to accept or realise that they have been raped, while male victims repeatedly receive the message that they can't be victims, that that's not how gender roles work etc.
The amount of men I've talked to who describe a sexual situation and pass it off as a bad experience, or just laugh about it, when what they're describing is sexual assault, is astounding. The idea that they might be victims of sexual assault doesn't even occur to them, because they're taught not to see themselves that way.
I know a couple of mates who got drunk and have almost been raped and taken advantage of by girls, and it's sad coz when it happens to us guys it just gets brushed off and we're told it's just minor
@@FireflyFanatic3 your comment is all kinds of true. It's also about how certain people react in the same situation. A guy could have his ass slapped by a girl in a friendly setting and he would laugh it off but if a guy slapped the girls ass in the same situation, she could see it as hard sexual assault.
Moral of the story: don’t drink so much that you can’t even walk or talk anymore
how about drinking less?
How about men stop taking advantage of vulnerable women
A woman (or man) can choose to drink too much for their own good but they never consent to assault! The person who targets them knows exactly what they are doing which is why they don't go for sober victims - they can fight and stand up in court remembering details. The attacker is a PREDATOR - predators like weak prey to make their action safe from harm of a fight back. Just as if you leave your purse in an unlocked car; the person removing it from the car to use is still a thief. There is no right to take property or person. It is assault and the predator is always 100% at fault. I have been so fortunate in my past drunken states to have never been preyed upon, but once it almost happened, and it gives me chills to hear these women. The "friend of a friend" I hadn't interacted with much at a house gathering (not even party) sought me out as I lay on a sofa in a separate room, after having been sick due to someone pouring me a drink I had no idea had so much gin in it, he tried to feel me up, and I had to tell in as much as I could, to leave me alone, TWICE saying f*ck off, I had just been sick for God's sake, leave me alone. I was able to raise my voice in disgust just enough he was worried someone would hear next door and left me alone. I would not have been able to fight him if no-one might hear - he'd hoped I was properly out. This is how shit predators are, yet so many still blame the victim because then it means it can't happen to them.
If she had a boyfriend why did she go back with him?
DJ Alex Parker fr
Unfortunately we live in a real world where there are bunch of perpetrators constantly hunting for their next victims. You can't rely on others to be the look out always. Be smart and protect yourself.
The point with this whole thing is not to tell women not to drink, especially when men go out and get blackout drunk and 9/10 times they will be fine. Instead of teaching women to stay at home and not drink, why not teach men about boundaries and not to be rapists?
You're simply sexist
Paloma There are plenty of videos for that but the truth is that you cant teach someone that doesnt want to be taught. Many of these men are predators that need to just be in jail.
Because there will always be some kind of rapist somewhere (not just men). The issue isn't going away any time soon.
Everyone knows rape is there, I don't understand why people need awareness for this type of situation when really it's just women being irresponsible for themselves then expecting the best out of humanity, hoping the worst out of the world's people don't come and find them while they're unconscious because they drunk too much.
The world is terrible so why would they drink THAT much. Seriously...?
@Anonymous User feminists are lying hypocrites who get nothing right, explain how they 'slap sense' into people
Cheese Cakes way to shame women into feeling like it’s their fault rape exists
We have to admit there are some monster in our society who try to harm other and its our responsbility to protect ourselves.i know there is law and other thing but first we have to be responsible.
I don't care how wasted drunk someone is they're still capable of saying yes or no...unless they are unconscious, in which case no level minded person would still go ahead with it.
Being drunk doesn't turn a yes into a no. Just like regretting the night before is not rape, you can not give consent and then take it back after the deed is done.
At some point people have to be responsible for themselves. If you are getting black out drunk it comes with risks. It's not an invitation to get raped obviously but it WILL make you into a target for the sickos.
Be smart, be aware.
Is that the reason the alcohol ad says drink responsibly?
If everyone did drink responsibly, the alcohol manufacturers would be out of business.
So i can kill someone while being drunk and blame the alcohol??? Sweet
@A K dead girls cant say no
@@Silver_Specter that legit dark humor lol
1. Regret is not rape.
2. Learn what consent is and is not ! Consent isn't retroactive, you don't get to decide about your consent from two weeks ago.
3. Nobody reads minds ! if you don't feel comfortable make yourself heard.
4. If you're already having sex and deciding smth is off, do not expect to be met halfway with the vividness of a philosophical debate. Sexually aroused people have their brains busy with the on going sex, so you will have to find ways to get your point across (e.g. stop everything and look them dead in the eye and say "NO", or "stop for a second", and pull yourself out of the situation, or "just try to do it this way" etc)
5. Don't pretend to be born yesterday. If it's 3AM and they ask you to go home with them, and they are not your best gay friend, chances are you're entering a risky situation willingly and sex will be a part of that equation. If sex at 3AM doesn't happen as you imagined, that is not rape it is a bad one night stand, you'll have plenty of those sadly.
6. Whatever happens, remember that you are stronger than you think! Women give birth for fucks' sake! If you chanel that energy , you could kill a guy if a rape situation would actually happen.
This is not excusing any kind of shady behaviour on anyone's part. This is about what I got from this video, which is that many women don't know what consent is, even when sober and that is one of the real issues we should address as well. As a gay man I think out of all human, gay men nailed it at the chapter consent, because they do like to have sex like idiots and not just any sex, but exactly and only exactly the kind of sex that they personally want to and nothing else. So typically if people know themselves, they will negociate sex up to the last details. If this doesn't happen, there is common consent that this will be an experiment and you can say no at any time. Sadly not all gay men are as clear or willing to exercise their consent rights, but most of them do, and I think especially women could learn quite a bit from that. E.g. just because you agreed to sex, you didn't agree to anything really, you can get up and leave if smth is off. A female friend of mine got into the habbit of using men to finish herself andleaving her dates undone, literally. Most women can't even imagine that scenario. They feel that they have to go through with it if they "agreed" to come home with you or whatever. Later you realize you didn't have to do that and maybe even decide you didn't want to, so that it was rape, because someone told you so. There is a clear line between allowing yourself to have shitty sex, and being raped.
I have utter most empathy for rape victims, it is horrific and a societal disease and I can only hope that #metoo and other campaigns will help society to become a safer place for women in particular. This comment is meant in that direction only, because I believe that if everyone can agree on what is being communicated when, then there will be less traumas, misunderstandings and yes, even rapes.
you're part of the issue if you drink till the point you can't protect yourself or consent to things.
lloidelle darling preach
Would push tea in someone's mouth if they are drunk and can't say if they want tea or not???
still doesn’t take away the fact that no one should ever rape anyone ever
No, this is so wrong. The one and only person to blame is the rapist in these situations how could you even partly blame someone for not being able to consent or protect themselves.. is that the same mind set you have for every other offence someone commits on another (if the victim was intoxicated)?
Berry Holden 1 Everyman and women should be able to protect themselves and if they can't and end up getting fucked thats there fault
All I'm going to say is that I am so glad that I don't like drinking. Love Microbrews, hate the after buzz part. Drunk for me is a sloppy, low high. Definitely not judging, to each their own and things effect people differently.
I just personally set up like a 2 drink max for a 4 hour period if I'm out, and sometimes that's too much. Stay safe!
Being drunk is no excuse to cheat
Owen he raped her. She didn’t ask for it. He made that choice. He raped her. She didn’t want it.
Sophie Louise while they were still in the bar she made the choice to go back to his. That was her choice to go to his place. She even said she didn’t know him that well why would she make the choice to go back to his.
You can’t cry rape if you regret it in the morning. If you’re sober enough to consent then it isn’t rape, don’t get too drunk if you’re going to run off and cry rape
Bruh why is it 75%woman 24% LGBTQ and 1% men
men or women can't be lgbtq? lolololol
She was raped because she was drunk and she didn't realize it was rape until after 2 years when someone mentioned rape.What kind of hangover is that?
why can't guys just tell if a girl is too drunk and not take advantage of her? 🙁
Literally everyone will at least have sex in their lives while being drunk. We are probably all rapist then?
If you leave your car unlocked there is a higher chance of it being stolen. Stealing cars is illegal but there is reason you still lock your doors!
Banzingo NE stop comparing peoples bodies to objects. It’s disgusting and in no way is it a fair comparison.
Tay Gulshin You absolute moron! This is an analogy and the fact that you said something which in reality has nothing to do with my overall point of personal responsibility shows you have no adequate response
Banzingo NE if you’re that upset by my reply you shouldn’t go around leaving stupid comments. I just don’t respect victim shaming which is what you seem to do.
Tay Gulshin You have not read my original comment properly
@@smexytay703 A human body IS AN OBJECT. Just because a human has agency, does not make a human not an object. In some cases, it is an object other people want to get their hands upon. If you make your human body vulnerable for other people to use against your will, you are taking a risk that it will be used in a way that is against your will.
The person who does that to you, is ultimately culpable. But taking a risk, increases the chance that it will happen.
Imagine if people used the same excuse to the police when drunk driving as women use for drunken sex.... "I had no idea what was going on".... "I passed out behind the wheel that's why I crashed".....
l got so drunk once when l was working in spain that l decided to take my bedcovers and sleep on the beach so l wouldnt miss the sun, l woke up sweating with 1 leg sunburned out the covers and ppl taking pictures of me😂
8:33 "At the moment we're going out to the home address of the suspect. As a matter of urgency, we need to find out where he is. We know that he lives there with his mum."
So a real scary character, this.
You drank 3 bottles of wine and agreed to go back to a guys place and watch a movie??? Wtf did u expect? You guys where just gona hang out and watch star wars then cab home??
dirtybanana3 lol so true, they put themselves in these situations so I have no sympathy
That chick with the boyfriend going to some randoms for a bit of Netflix and chill lol
smoke green then this wont happen simple \m/
This comment section makes me very sad and sick. Feels like a lot haven´t really watched the video and victim blaming goes on and on. In a world where it is the womens fault for being assaulted I don´t question anymore, how one in four women admitted to having been sexually assaulted or raped according to a study by the "Bundesministerium für Familie, Senioren, Frauen und Jugend" (meaning federal ministry for familie, seniors, women and youth) but only 5% reported the issue. Why would they report it when they get bashed and shamed for having been raped?
What a brave new world we live in.
You shouldn’t take advantage of someone who is clearly very drunk. But at the same time don’t be so stupid to get that drunk in the first place.
Jack Paterson People should be able to drink as much as they like without having to worry that they might be raped... Alcohol doesn’t rape you.
@@stephaniecobian725 this is the stupid shit I keep hearing for woman I can do what I won't dont hold me accountable just the man dumb shit
I dont drink much on nights out, usually only enjoy drinks for the flavour but dislike the 'drunk' sensation, I always end up as that one sober friend lol
i feel shes a bit biased to the side of the women
what would the side of the man look like? “Oh well i heard her say no multiple times but i still fucked her because my pleasure comes first”
Here's to make it simple: if you do NOT get a SOBER yes, it's rape.
"She" "Her" "Girl"
So I've been working that girl all night from 9 pm to 2 am in the morning right, she loved me and clearly wanted to have sex the first instant we met. We were having a good time and both of us drank a lot. I'm a pretty big guy 6''4 so obviously she was more drunk than I was when we left. She was clearly drunk when we left the club and we were going back to her place to do the deed, but does that mean she wasn't able to give consent then? Like what the hell are they saying. This world is turning into a dangerous place for men to live in.
I mean obviously the first one with the round lady was rape if what she said was exactly what happened. Yea she went back to a man's room therefore her boyfriend can be angry at her but she didn't consent of having sex with the stranger. But that's pretty much it, if we go anywhere further, then men are just gonna become victims of false accusations.
I’m sorry but the first girl is talking so much BS she got drunk and cheated on her boyfriend
I keep looking for a scenario I relate to and I can’t. My story is a little complex and I wish I could tell someone about it.
Why do people have to get so hammered that they don't know WTF is going on? She's too pissed to consent, he's too pissed to even spell or understand consent, then suddenly it's the guys responsibility?? It's the 21st century, responsibility is on the shoulders of both males and females