My latest mental breakdown was about me not living up to the horrendously unrealistic lists I make and how I feel like a failure. Needed this reminder ❤️
Really relate to this, with trying to unlearn the whole mindset of "wait until it's perfect to start". The best time to start is now! It's not when I think I'll feel better or be better, it's NOW. This video reassured me I'm doing okay thank you!!🧡
i struggle with perfectionism and it rly takes a toll on my mental health. i’m someone who has huge body image issues and it can feel very “threatening” when your body changes, like gaining weight, etc. makes me want to go into isolation until my body goes back to normal
Perfection has been such a trouble in my life since a young age. I was taught by my Asian parents to work 24/7 to have a “good job” and now I try to be the perfect person and manage every single bad thing in my life or make sure I study or over study every time and it’s just exhausting sometimes. Thank you for talking about this 🖤🖤
I have been a perfectionist my whole life, and to this day it’s still the key thing I struggle with. Even though I know most everything there is to know about it (it being a trauma response, the self sabotage as a result, and so on) I still can’t seem to do anything in real life, it’s all just theoretical knowledge. I’m thinking that’s bc it’s all I’ve ever known and such a strong habit that it will probably be very hard to break. It has delayed and still does any progress and change in my life, so to anyone going through it I completely understand. With all that said, there’s no way I’m giving up, not now not ever!💪🏻
You got this!! I’ve been the same way and one thing that’s helped is to actually have a relationship with the part of me that is the perfectionist instead of living in my head/in the theory of understanding what it means to be a perfectionist. ❤️
I honestly needed this !! As a teenager idk why I'm so focused on being perfect n not making a mistake. Also wanting everything in my life in a perfect way , wanting a perfect person forgetting that we all r humans n life is supposed to be beautiful not perfect and which same goes to me . I'm supposed to live this life without worrying too much about being perfect
There’s always many reasons for being this way but you honestly you wrote out a PERFECT daily reminder of how we are al human, and nothing needs to be perfect ❤️
I relate to this so much! Last year I went to see Bad Bunny with friends, I went to the beach with my boyfriend, I had this amazing things happening and I literaly got all stressed out for the smallest details and wasn´t enjoying the present moment. I now look back and use this as a lesson. I talk to my inner child and I tell her: "It´s okay that you felt that you needed to have everything in order, it's what you thought it would make you feel safe. But you don´t need to control everything, you´re safe." This video was so so helpful! Your content has changed my life and I'm really thankfull! Greeting from Costa Rica!
Sometimes I have to remind myself daily it’s okay not to have everything all at once . sometimes things workout & sometimes they don’t workout be at peace with it and move forward and will this matter 10-15 mins or 5 years from now sometimes I still slip up from time to time & give myself grace and knowing that you don’t need to be perfect ❤❤❤❤🙏🏽🙏🏽😩😩
This spoke to me. My whole life I felt as if I needed to put my all, that if I didn’t I was a slacker or “failure”. I was a straight A student all through middle school till sophomore year until depression hit me hard and I started getting Bs and Cs. I would cry if I got a B. My family was strict and would say things like “that girl that got an A does she have 2 heads?” Etc l. They don’t believe in mental health. That high expectation conditioned me into being a perfectionist as an adult. I’ve torn and ruined projects because I thought I could “do better”. Even in my every day life I have to hyper focus on the most blaisé things such as putting too much creamer in a coffee. I’ve started therapy and medication and it’s gotten better but I still subconsciously find myself plotting and planning my every step. It gets so exhausting.
I feel you babe. Please remind yourself that healing takes time, patience and understanding and you don’t have to be perfect with “healing” your perfectionist part of yourself either. ❤️
You know I’ve interacted with many girls who like being 100% before they do something, or participate in something. I’ve always found out that they’re just living in their own shell and scared to come out, so what I like to do is kinda be gentle in my approach and not play into their false confidence, but instead find out what are the things they’ve done as their brave selves and I always reveal what they’re afraid of and why they’re afraid, that always makes me feel like I’m connecting with them more. Many girls can live in their own heads when it comes to insecurities and I never get comfortable whenever a girl is secretly insecure ☺️ I love that you always use yourself as an example, and I know that gets many insecure girls to lower their guard, and truly listen and learn. You’re doing God’s work mos definitely❤❤ I hope you get to do all those things you plan to do once you move in April. Keep up the good work 😊 Loved the video 💛💛💛
Very relatable . My Perfectionism I think started with my mom. Then when social media became about mostly aesthetics that affected how I post (I’m working on that now but it’s hard). It also has affected my UA-cam . I’ve made videos many times but deleted them because I found something wrong with it , when in reality it was fine . Im trying so hard to stop posting and deleting as much. Also trying to let go of perfectionism with a specific outfit for certain occasions, and taking so long to get ready and feeling like I need to look perfect (according to me). Perfectionism has affected my life in a lotttt of ways . I’m really trying to make changes .
I look forward to being, thinking, feeling, and acting on freedom! I want to truly be free, perfectionism is like being a prisoner of the mind. It has affected my life as a whole because perspective is everything! Micromanaging is exhausting. Procrastination and holding myself back is frustrating! I look forward to truly being myself and enjoying the present moment.
I thought I was the only one who felt this. It has taken years for me to stop being the "perfectionist." It was keeping me from achieving big things. Thank you so much for this video, 100% relatable!
I relate to this so much! Perfectionism has isolated me, trying to be perfect you miss out on opportunities and memories. We forget our time here is limited and time is the most valuable thing! We need to live life!
i really needed this! growing up my parents had high expectations of me and if i slacked off one tiny bit it was an issue. when it came to my social life, my parents wouldn't let me do specific things because they were protective of me, which is understandable, but because of that i wasn't able to build close connections with other people. i also had a traumatic period in my childhood that led me to think that one small mistake can ruin your life. it's to the point where sometimes i don't do certain things because i feel obligated to think about the worse that can happen and how it could not be safe. i really want to work towards not being a perfectionist so i can live my life and have fun and fulfilling experiences, without stressing myself out over the worst case scenario.
on God, I literally had a mental breakdown over this a few hours ago - how I felt like a failure for not being able to get exactly where I want to be. some major screwups in my past has me hyper-aware of everything now and planning everything too much; and then freaking out if things don't go according to plan. as a struggling perfectionist, i need this so badly. thank you.
i adore music and have been being a perfectionist about not making certain career goals in the music industry, yet. instead i can choose to honor the gift i have with music and the joy it brings me everyday :)
This is affecting me with my UA-cam & podcast endeavors. I’ll have content that needs to be edited & downloads for podcast ideas but the fear of me wanting it “perfect” stalls me every time leading to me being inconsistent all together. I’ve even deleted good content cause it wasn’t perfect & I want my craft perfect instead just going with the flow and enjoying the moment of creating. I’m too strict on myself for no good reason. I’m a recovering control freak & it’s definitely a T* response & a burden I’m consciously trying to lay down. I’m here to live life not in my head.
I’m glad you’re coming to this realization! Honestly, it takes time forsure. Be patient and loving, and always aware of when this part of you is stripping you away from life. You can do this ❤️
This was such a difficult video for me to watch and understand. I definitely see how all this obsessive planning has to do with a trauma response and i never thought about it that way. For a few years i dealt with a shut in depression. It truly was horrible being glued to my bed in my comfort zone yet not even enjoying being there but unable to get up and do anything else. After i started doing things with my life with school and so i started being very grateful for finally getting out of that depression and started setting goals in mind about what i want to do. However those goals changed over and over a lot as time went on. Once i graduated highschool i started making these millions and millions of lists and plans under plans and under more plans on how to fix every single aspect of my life. So in that moment I'd have my life on hold, to not do anything that actually benefits me because I'm not ready yet and I'm not done writing and organizing these pinterest boards or notes or whatever. I'd sleep in, eat unhealthy food because i was planning on making a recipe diet board and then transfer that to a notebook, smoke weed every single day and then just multiple times a day until months passed and summer was over and i was exactly where i had started and got nothing done. My family hated me and no one would believe in me anymore. I started really hating myself more for not being able to do anything yet i knew that just pressuring myself would get nothing done. I decided that waiting for everything to be perfect to get started was only slowing my progress down. After more months passed and not getting myself in college because of my plans and fear i was able to quit weed and do more things in my life, relapses would happen, life threw unexpected curve balls at me that would just paralyze me, depression would happen but i wanted to keep fighting. I can definitely say that i got more done with trying to fix my life at the present moment and taking care of myself yet still i am in this planning stage. Sometimes i get up and i won't even allow myself to do anything without a to do list, sometimes i can do it and feel good about myself but i also have to plan on how to plan this plan that has more categories under it and under those categories more To give an example of how my "fix my life" plan looks like imagine a work sheet with 20 questions but under those 20 questions all have 20 or more questions and under those more and more and i can't say a number exactly because they all differ and some have more than others. So i really keep putting my life on hold to get this project ready but even when i start to work on this project i freeze and i don't know what to do again or what to do first. I feel like i know exactly everything i have to do in my life in order to fix it yet as soon as I get up to do something i freeze up and my brain fogs and i get too many thoughts and i start to cry out of the frustration because I'm so afraid to fall in depression again, to have years pass by and i still haven't done anything good with my life.mainly because i feel like i can't do a certain task without doing this other thing first but then i can't do that also because i have to do this other thing and so on and so on. So this video for me is a very difficult pill to swallow because i genuinely don't know how I'll manage life without that list but i know it's not helping me either because it is affecting my life and it is making me say no to friends and my boyfriend and my family and everything i want because i haven't gotten these things yet. I have to change the mentality i have about myself otherwise i won't grow but it's difficult when i don't even know what's ahead of me. I feel like I've created such a huge dependency on this project now that i can't do anything with or without it. I feel alone and abandoned and misunderstood. This project involves helping others in my life as well but i don't feel like anyone is helping me, i don't know what to do now
This is me to a T. I know it’s holding me back and a trauma response but i honestly thought I’d be alone in this. It feels great for so many people to relate
perfectionism has made me believe me that I need to reach this specific standard of mind/beauty/confidence/expertise before making any moves and doing something different, and because those standards are impossible to reach, I just get stuck. then I hate myself for it, and I don't do anything at all. it's a pyramid scheme at its finest.
FACTS. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, micromanaging…. they’re all thiefs of joy and true expansion. But I always remind myself that there was always a reason for picking up this type of thinking/behaving and it just no longer serves us anymore ❤️
I went to a different city last year and I lived there for an year. I was so clueless of everything and my responses to those things. Though I experienced pretty privilege there and now when I am no more living in that city I think me looking pretty by having enough sleep good diet and healthy hair routines will give me those privileges here too. But it was more than that. I needed money. I needed a good camera phone. Good outfits. I wanted to have everything and I thought that would have completed me and made me strong. Rn here I am who is trying to pack my bag with everything I thought I needed to live my best life. But enough. I fckng don't need to be a perfectionist for a good life. When I look at my present. I earn more than average. I have my family with me. I have everything. I don't want to miss out on these things. I want to live in my present. It's hard to stick to eat but I promise myself to gift me with present
slowly learning this myself. I am currently teaching myself to remember how cool AND beautiful I am before dipping out the house. And that yea ppl stare, but it's probably cause I'm helllaaa cool LMAO. people always got something to say allllll the time. What I think about me is the only opinion (turned fact) that matters ! Anyways I love your channel and love learning so much from you :)
quando voce se sente desligado, coloque seu corpo em movimento, corra, malhe, quando voce pensa demais, desligue o seu corpo e escreva, medite, reflita. o corpo nao e apenas uma casa, tambem e um veiculo.
Thank you very much for this video, it made me think a lot. I also loved that you talk about this topic that not everyone is talking about and it is super important ✨
thanks for this thats really the mood im on. Im trying to grow my fitness business and have a super strict routine which make me want to avoid any social situations cause "thats a loss of time" in my head. But im starting to realise that i cant do everything by myself and need the support.
thank you so much for this video, i thought there was something wring with me because i used to have these thought patterns. for the last 1,5 year my body and mind was on the survival mode all the time beacuse of acne. even if ut got better and dissapeared, i was still constantly thinking id my concelear wasnt smudged, if my foundstion was the right shade, i couldnt talk close like face to face to anyone even my family and friends. thig give me hope i donr have to be perfect all the time. please if someone whos readibg this feels the same way, know, youre worthy of everything you want and you deserve peace at heart at all the time
you are truly an amazing and extremely beautiful person inside and out! I literally admire the hell out of your spirituality and your strength! and coming from a place of very hard struggle and depression and anxiety, I think it’s safe to say that I am very proud of you for learning and growing and never giving up, even though I don’t know you personally lol!! I still have many things to work on and a long way to go but seriously your videos helped to flip a switch in my drive and desire to better myself and my life! I have watched lots of your videos and you have helped me in ways I used to not think could be possible! one of my biggest dreams is the same as what yours was, to wake up everyday and choose what I want to do and be deeply happy and satisfied with my life, and I will continue to watch your videos to motivate me and hype me up to keep fighting and ascending! I mostly just wanted to say keep making these videos to inspire the world and others to make life so so much better. I love you and your content! thank you so much for being the amazing and bright person that you are❤️💗💋🌹💫
Omg….. 🥹😭 you are such a beautiful soul. I feel so connected to you!!! I appreciate how sweet this is and the recognition… wow ❤️ I’m also so proud to hear that you’re on this journey and you’re envisioning the person you want to be, PLEASE have trust with knowing that you’ll get yourself there. You’re already in the process. I love you so much.❤️🦋
I recently found your channel and subscribed, and I really needed this video. There’s a UA-camr I really enjoy that’s planning a retreat, and I really want to go, but I’ve been psyching myself out of it for so long because of anxiously putting myself into imaginary scenarios and “what ifs”. I’ve also never taken a trip by myself before. Even if I don’t go on this trip, my challenge for myself this year is to put myself in situations out of my comfort zone. Thank you for all the advice in your videos ❤️
You’re so honest and it’s refreshing to watch something that resonates cause we all get tired of just acting to have our shit together ❤ this video is exactly what I needed to hear ❤
And you know what, that’s ok ❤️ slow and steady.. working through this protection mechanism of having to be perfect is what matters, no matter how long it will take!
Hi Elicia! Thanks so much for posting this today. It really helped give me the push I needed to complete my workout. I have a lot of possession-based anxiety. I got a piece of workout equipment in the mail that I paid a bit of money for, and it arrived with a scratch. My neurotic ass couldn’t do my workout anymore without getting really upset and focusing on the scratch instead of my movement (which is one of my favorite parts of the day and is especially beneficial for my mental health). I felt so betrayed by my brain that I couldn’t live my life and do something that benefits me because of something that, in theory, should be so insignificant. The way you presented this video made me feel validated in my response, because sometimes we can’t help the things that set us off and it’s so hard for certain things to just not bother us. But it’s so important to live our lives and allow us to benefit from what can sometimes be the very things that give us anxiety. Sorry for the mini therapy sesh in the comments, just wanted to say I appreciate you ♥️ I always look forward to watching your videos in the morning.
Yeah being a perfectionist is something I want to let go of. It is getting in the way of me taking the necessary steps to grow as a person. I am more relaxed about things and am aware that not everything is within my control. I just am taking it one step at a time.
Replying to your thoughts is also a good way to cope with anxiety. for an example I had my trial exams a few days ago and I was so scared to go there, and all these thoughts telling me the worst case scenarios were not helping at all. So I wrote down the questions that my 'anxiety guy' in my head created and replied to them. It turned out there was no point in stressing out about it. (You can try asking something like: what am I anxious about? why am I anxious about it? Can I change anything to not feel this way?)
Ugh gurl I swear we are the same person sometimes haha! Thank you so much for this video and all of your content, you’re by far the most influential person i follow and I’m so grateful for all the lessons you teach us!! Your content has really helped me grow and work on the negative side of my perfectionism. Earlier this week I applied to do a year long mission in a foreign country, which I have always felt called to do but kept pushing to the side because my dream of being a missionary messed with “my plans” for after college. I’m nervous but I’m also beyond excited because I know it’s what I have always felt I am called to do in life, and it’s a big step in my journey. after learning so much from you I’ve finally taken the leap of faith I’ve always wanted to. Thank you so much girl ❤
I have been planning to go to Canada 🇨🇦 since 2012 but never made the move , and now finally going in July with my kids and husband. I’m so over wanting to plan everything perfectly while life pass me by.
tysm for making me realise how my studies, health & confidence r all just affected by my perfectionism coz most of the times we forget to be self aware of our situation & certainly need a reminder like this one 🤍
Hi, Elicia! Really grateful for your videos! Could you please do a video on dark feminine energy? I still can't figure out if it's worth cultivating. Because for me it seems really toxic and wounded
How do you begin to let go of wanting to be a perfectionist when it's something expected of you in your environment? Such as at home or academically, what do you do when there is outside pressure, not just yourself, in order to let go of this mentality?
It definitely can take time healing this part of you. I think it would better be able to answer your question in a video, but I think a few of the upcoming videos I have on my channel will really help you address this though.❤️
I thought you’re moving somewhere else, so I’m happy you’re staying in TO (even know it doesn’t really make a difference lol) but good luck finding a place! I know how hard it can be…
I’m pretty sure they’re not flagging or suppressing your videos when you say “trauma”. I’ve watched tons of videos recently about trauma with a lot of views. Lol don’t overthink it love.
No like they’ll still let me post it.. I meant for the ads, they will limit ads or play them but the creators don’t earn the revenue if they’re not suitable for advertisers. So it’s really more of a back end issue but I’m not really over thinking it because even when they do they review it and approve. It’s because I talk about mental health issues which can not be suitable for advertising in the markets eyes, along with other topics around body image/EDs and stuff
This Video has inspired me so much literally I am soo happy that people can relate to me. I thought I was so weird for not wanting to meet up with guys that I was texting with a lot, because I thought my Face wasnt perfekt and all that. Literallyy i really needed to hear this. Your such a big sister to me, thank you so much!!!!!😭😭😭🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
How has perfectionism showed up in your life.. ? 🥺
The better question is how has it NOT but I’m working on it 😭
My latest mental breakdown was about me not living up to the horrendously unrealistic lists I make and how I feel like a failure. Needed this reminder ❤️
🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️
The perfectionist and micromanager in me NEEDED to hear this you have no idea 😭. Thank you 🙏🏽
I got you babe!!!!! 🥹
Really relate to this, with trying to unlearn the whole mindset of "wait until it's perfect to start". The best time to start is now! It's not when I think I'll feel better or be better, it's NOW. This video reassured me I'm doing okay thank you!!🧡
YES! Messy action is better than no action!!! ❤️
i struggle with perfectionism and it rly takes a toll on my mental health. i’m someone who has huge body image issues and it can feel very “threatening” when your body changes, like gaining weight, etc. makes me want to go into isolation until my body goes back to normal
I feel this.. take your time through this period of healing though, it’s ok to not be perfect with managing this part of you❤️
Perfection has been such a trouble in my life since a young age. I was taught by my Asian parents to work 24/7 to have a “good job” and now I try to be the perfect person and manage every single bad thing in my life or make sure I study or over study every time and it’s just exhausting sometimes. Thank you for talking about this 🖤🖤
I have been a perfectionist my whole life, and to this day it’s still the key thing I struggle with. Even though I know most everything there is to know about it (it being a trauma response, the self sabotage as a result, and so on) I still can’t seem to do anything in real life, it’s all just theoretical knowledge. I’m thinking that’s bc it’s all I’ve ever known and such a strong habit that it will probably be very hard to break. It has delayed and still does any progress and change in my life, so to anyone going through it I completely understand. With all that said, there’s no way I’m giving up, not now not ever!💪🏻
You got this!! I’ve been the same way and one thing that’s helped is to actually have a relationship with the part of me that is the perfectionist instead of living in my head/in the theory of understanding what it means to be a perfectionist. ❤️
Oh my god I FELT this!! It’s nice to see I’m not the only one
I honestly needed this !! As a teenager idk why I'm so focused on being perfect n not making a mistake. Also wanting everything in my life in a perfect way , wanting a perfect person forgetting that we all r humans n life is supposed to be beautiful not perfect and which same goes to me . I'm supposed to live this life without worrying too much about being perfect
There’s always many reasons for being this way but you honestly you wrote out a PERFECT daily reminder of how we are al human, and nothing needs to be perfect ❤️
Just wanted to say how much I like you, as a human who is trying to improve everyday, your existence helps, hugs from Brazil-- Nathan
I relate to this so much! Last year I went to see Bad Bunny with friends, I went to the beach with my boyfriend, I had this amazing things happening and I literaly got all stressed out for the smallest details and wasn´t enjoying the present moment. I now look back and use this as a lesson. I talk to my inner child and I tell her: "It´s okay that you felt that you needed to have everything in order, it's what you thought it would make you feel safe. But you don´t need to control everything, you´re safe."
This video was so so helpful! Your content has changed my life and I'm really thankfull! Greeting from Costa Rica!
Sometimes I have to remind myself daily it’s okay not to have everything all at once . sometimes things workout & sometimes they don’t workout be at peace with it and move forward and will this matter 10-15 mins or 5 years from now sometimes I still slip up from time to time & give myself grace and knowing that you don’t need to be perfect ❤❤❤❤🙏🏽🙏🏽😩😩
This spoke to me. My whole life I felt as if I needed to put my all, that if I didn’t I was a slacker or “failure”. I was a straight A student all through middle school till sophomore year until depression hit me hard and I started getting Bs and Cs. I would cry if I got a B. My family was strict and would say things like “that girl that got an A does she have 2 heads?” Etc l. They don’t believe in mental health.
That high expectation conditioned me into being a perfectionist as an adult. I’ve torn and ruined projects because I thought I could “do better”. Even in my every day life I have to hyper focus on the most blaisé things such as putting too much creamer in a coffee.
I’ve started therapy and medication and it’s gotten better but I still subconsciously find myself plotting and planning my every step.
It gets so exhausting.
I feel you babe. Please remind yourself that healing takes time, patience and understanding and you don’t have to be perfect with “healing” your perfectionist part of yourself either. ❤️
It's like you knew exactly what video I needed😭🤧💘
I be knowing 🥺❤️
The eyelash thing is so meeee omg 🥲🥲 literally always OVERLY prepared
😂😂❤️❤️❤️
You know I’ve interacted with many girls who like being 100% before they do something, or participate in something. I’ve always found out that they’re just living in their own shell and scared to come out, so what I like to do is kinda be gentle in my approach and not play into their false confidence, but instead find out what are the things they’ve done as their brave selves and I always reveal what they’re afraid of and why they’re afraid, that always makes me feel like I’m connecting with them more. Many girls can live in their own heads when it comes to insecurities and I never get comfortable whenever a girl is secretly insecure ☺️
I love that you always use yourself as an example, and I know that gets many insecure girls to lower their guard, and truly listen and learn. You’re doing God’s work mos definitely❤❤
I hope you get to do all those things you plan to do once you move in April. Keep up the good work 😊
Loved the video 💛💛💛
My goal is to experience the fun in everything and embracing the chaos of life.
I love this!!!!!!
Yup ❤️ because endurance is very important
Very relatable . My Perfectionism I think started with my mom. Then when social media became about mostly aesthetics that affected how I post (I’m working on that now but it’s hard). It also has affected my UA-cam . I’ve made videos many times but deleted them because I found something wrong with it , when in reality it was fine .
Im trying so hard to stop posting and deleting as much. Also trying to let go of perfectionism with a specific outfit for certain occasions, and taking so long to get ready and feeling like I need to look perfect (according to me). Perfectionism has affected my life in a lotttt of ways . I’m really trying to make changes .
I look forward to being, thinking, feeling, and acting on freedom! I want to truly be free, perfectionism is like being a prisoner of the mind. It has affected my life as a whole because perspective is everything! Micromanaging is exhausting. Procrastination and holding myself back is frustrating! I look forward to truly being myself and enjoying the present moment.
I thought I was the only one who felt this. It has taken years for me to stop being the "perfectionist." It was keeping me from achieving big things. Thank you so much for this video, 100% relatable!
I relate to this so much! Perfectionism has isolated me, trying to be perfect you miss out on opportunities and memories. We forget our time here is limited and time is the most valuable thing! We need to live life!
i really needed this! growing up my parents had high expectations of me and if i slacked off one tiny bit it was an issue. when it came to my social life, my parents wouldn't let me do specific things because they were protective of me, which is understandable, but because of that i wasn't able to build close connections with other people. i also had a traumatic period in my childhood that led me to think that one small mistake can ruin your life. it's to the point where sometimes i don't do certain things because i feel obligated to think about the worse that can happen and how it could not be safe. i really want to work towards not being a perfectionist so i can live my life and have fun and fulfilling experiences, without stressing myself out over the worst case scenario.
on God, I literally had a mental breakdown over this a few hours ago - how I felt like a failure for not being able to get exactly where I want to be. some major screwups in my past has me hyper-aware of everything now and planning everything too much; and then freaking out if things don't go according to plan. as a struggling perfectionist, i need this so badly. thank you.
Letting people bring their ideas to the table for my business. I'm a planner because of the type of job I've had previously.
Happy you arrived here! It's definitely the best way to live life in my opinion 😁
I desperately needed to hear this. You have changed my life forever. Thank you amillion. Much love from Africa -Uganda
OMG Elicia, you are explaining exactly how I feel. Hopefully, I will be able to overcome this
i adore music and have been being a perfectionist about not making certain career goals in the music industry, yet. instead i can choose to honor the gift i have with music and the joy it brings me everyday :)
This is affecting me with my UA-cam & podcast endeavors. I’ll have content that needs to be edited & downloads for podcast ideas but the fear of me wanting it “perfect” stalls me every time leading to me being inconsistent all together. I’ve even deleted good content cause it wasn’t perfect & I want my craft perfect instead just going with the flow and enjoying the moment of creating. I’m too strict on myself for no good reason. I’m a recovering control freak & it’s definitely a T* response & a burden I’m consciously trying to lay down. I’m here to live life not in my head.
I’m glad you’re coming to this realization! Honestly, it takes time forsure. Be patient and loving, and always aware of when this part of you is stripping you away from life. You can do this ❤️
This was such a difficult video for me to watch and understand. I definitely see how all this obsessive planning has to do with a trauma response and i never thought about it that way. For a few years i dealt with a shut in depression. It truly was horrible being glued to my bed in my comfort zone yet not even enjoying being there but unable to get up and do anything else. After i started doing things with my life with school and so i started being very grateful for finally getting out of that depression and started setting goals in mind about what i want to do. However those goals changed over and over a lot as time went on. Once i graduated highschool i started making these millions and millions of lists and plans under plans and under more plans on how to fix every single aspect of my life. So in that moment I'd have my life on hold, to not do anything that actually benefits me because I'm not ready yet and I'm not done writing and organizing these pinterest boards or notes or whatever. I'd sleep in, eat unhealthy food because i was planning on making a recipe diet board and then transfer that to a notebook, smoke weed every single day and then just multiple times a day until months passed and summer was over and i was exactly where i had started and got nothing done. My family hated me and no one would believe in me anymore. I started really hating myself more for not being able to do anything yet i knew that just pressuring myself would get nothing done. I decided that waiting for everything to be perfect to get started was only slowing my progress down. After more months passed and not getting myself in college because of my plans and fear i was able to quit weed and do more things in my life, relapses would happen, life threw unexpected curve balls at me that would just paralyze me, depression would happen but i wanted to keep fighting. I can definitely say that i got more done with trying to fix my life at the present moment and taking care of myself yet still i am in this planning stage. Sometimes i get up and i won't even allow myself to do anything without a to do list, sometimes i can do it and feel good about myself but i also have to plan on how to plan this plan that has more categories under it and under those categories more
To give an example of how my "fix my life" plan looks like imagine a work sheet with 20 questions but under those 20 questions all have 20 or more questions and under those more and more and i can't say a number exactly because they all differ and some have more than others. So i really keep putting my life on hold to get this project ready but even when i start to work on this project i freeze and i don't know what to do again or what to do first. I feel like i know exactly everything i have to do in my life in order to fix it yet as soon as I get up to do something i freeze up and my brain fogs and i get too many thoughts and i start to cry out of the frustration because I'm so afraid to fall in depression again, to have years pass by and i still haven't done anything good with my life.mainly because i feel like i can't do a certain task without doing this other thing first but then i can't do that also because i have to do this other thing and so on and so on. So this video for me is a very difficult pill to swallow because i genuinely don't know how I'll manage life without that list but i know it's not helping me either because it is affecting my life and it is making me say no to friends and my boyfriend and my family and everything i want because i haven't gotten these things yet. I have to change the mentality i have about myself otherwise i won't grow but it's difficult when i don't even know what's ahead of me. I feel like I've created such a huge dependency on this project now that i can't do anything with or without it. I feel alone and abandoned and misunderstood. This project involves helping others in my life as well but i don't feel like anyone is helping me, i don't know what to do now
Wow. I feel this so hard. Thank you for sharing 🫶🏼
This is me to a T. I know it’s holding me back and a trauma response but i honestly thought I’d be alone in this. It feels great for so many people to relate
perfectionism has made me believe me that I need to reach this specific standard of mind/beauty/confidence/expertise before making any moves and doing something different, and because those standards are impossible to reach, I just get stuck. then I hate myself for it, and I don't do anything at all. it's a pyramid scheme at its finest.
FACTS. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, micromanaging…. they’re all thiefs of joy and true expansion. But I always remind myself that there was always a reason for picking up this type of thinking/behaving and it just no longer serves us anymore ❤️
I went to a different city last year and I lived there for an year. I was so clueless of everything and my responses to those things. Though I experienced pretty privilege there and now when I am no more living in that city I think me looking pretty by having enough sleep good diet and healthy hair routines will give me those privileges here too. But it was more than that. I needed money. I needed a good camera phone. Good outfits. I wanted to have everything and I thought that would have completed me and made me strong. Rn here I am who is trying to pack my bag with everything I thought I needed to live my best life. But enough. I fckng don't need to be a perfectionist for a good life. When I look at my present. I earn more than average. I have my family with me. I have everything. I don't want to miss out on these things. I want to live in my present.
It's hard to stick to eat but I promise myself to gift me with present
Im so glad I stumbled across your channel. You sound just like me. Nice to hear advice from people who get it ❤
slowly learning this myself. I am currently teaching myself to remember how cool AND beautiful I am before dipping out the house. And that yea ppl stare, but it's probably cause I'm helllaaa cool LMAO.
people always got something to say allllll the time. What I think about me is the only opinion (turned fact) that matters !
Anyways I love your channel and love learning so much from you :)
LOVE YOU MORE, QUEEEEEN👏🏼❤️
I love this video. I feel like this video was jus for me. Preach sis
quando voce se sente desligado, coloque seu corpo em movimento, corra, malhe, quando voce pensa demais, desligue o seu corpo e escreva, medite, reflita.
o corpo nao e apenas uma casa, tambem e um veiculo.
Thank you very much for this video, it made me think a lot. I also loved that you talk about this topic that not everyone is talking about and it is super important ✨
I think this is the best video I have seen on perfectionism. You truly have a speech gift, Elicia 💖
Wow, I really appreciate this! Thank you so much🥰
thanks for this thats really the mood im on. Im trying to grow my fitness business and have a super strict routine which make me want to avoid any social situations cause "thats a loss of time" in my head. But im starting to realise that i cant do everything by myself and need the support.
Right on time, congratulations on the growth it’s well deserved mamas!!! 🥰
Thank you babe 🥹❤️
Omg me affff! It’s nice to see I’m not the only one. Really need to start letting loose and not set such high and specific expectations for my life
YES BABE
thank you so much for this video, i thought there was something wring with me because i used to have these thought patterns.
for the last 1,5 year my body and mind was on the survival mode all the time beacuse of acne. even if ut got better and dissapeared, i was still constantly thinking id my concelear wasnt smudged, if my foundstion was the right shade, i couldnt talk close like face to face to anyone even my family and friends. thig give me hope i donr have to be perfect all the time. please if someone whos readibg this feels the same way, know, youre worthy of everything you want and you deserve peace at heart at all the time
This is beautiful. You are doing amazing ❤️
5:59 never been so called out in my life
you are truly an amazing and extremely beautiful person inside and out! I literally admire the hell out of your spirituality and your strength! and coming from a place of very hard struggle and depression and anxiety, I think it’s safe to say that I am very proud of you for learning and growing and never giving up, even though I don’t know you personally lol!! I still have many things to work on and a long way to go but seriously your videos helped to flip a switch in my drive and desire to better myself and my life! I have watched lots of your videos and you have helped me in ways I used to not think could be possible! one of my biggest dreams is the same as what yours was, to wake up everyday and choose what I want to do and be deeply happy and satisfied with my life, and I will continue to watch your videos to motivate me and hype me up to keep fighting and ascending! I mostly just wanted to say keep making these videos to inspire the world and others to make life so so much better. I love you and your content! thank you so much for being the amazing and bright person that you are❤️💗💋🌹💫
Omg….. 🥹😭 you are such a beautiful soul. I feel so connected to you!!! I appreciate how sweet this is and the recognition… wow ❤️ I’m also so proud to hear that you’re on this journey and you’re envisioning the person you want to be, PLEASE have trust with knowing that you’ll get yourself there. You’re already in the process. I love you so much.❤️🦋
I recently found your channel and subscribed, and I really needed this video. There’s a UA-camr I really enjoy that’s planning a retreat, and I really want to go, but I’ve been psyching myself out of it for so long because of anxiously putting myself into imaginary scenarios and “what ifs”. I’ve also never taken a trip by myself before.
Even if I don’t go on this trip, my challenge for myself this year is to put myself in situations out of my comfort zone. Thank you for all the advice in your videos ❤️
I’m so proud of you, you got this ❤️
You’re so honest and it’s refreshing to watch something that resonates cause we all get tired of just acting to have our shit together ❤ this video is exactly what I needed to hear ❤
I’m so happy to hear this 🥹❤️
I am not a perfecionist, but Im enjoy listening you, thank you for your wisdom.
Thank you so much 😍
you're amazing as always. Perfectionism is my biggest weakness
And you know what, that’s ok ❤️ slow and steady.. working through this protection mechanism of having to be perfect is what matters, no matter how long it will take!
Hi Elicia! Thanks so much for posting this today. It really helped give me the push I needed to complete my workout.
I have a lot of possession-based anxiety. I got a piece of workout equipment in the mail that I paid a bit of money for, and it arrived with a scratch. My neurotic ass couldn’t do my workout anymore without getting really upset and focusing on the scratch instead of my movement (which is one of my favorite parts of the day and is especially beneficial for my mental health). I felt so betrayed by my brain that I couldn’t live my life and do something that benefits me because of something that, in theory, should be so insignificant.
The way you presented this video made me feel validated in my response, because sometimes we can’t help the things that set us off and it’s so hard for certain things to just not bother us. But it’s so important to live our lives and allow us to benefit from what can sometimes be the very things that give us anxiety.
Sorry for the mini therapy sesh in the comments, just wanted to say I appreciate you ♥️ I always look forward to watching your videos in the morning.
Your therapy sessions are always welcome here 🥰 I’m really proud of you for being so self-aware… You got this❤️
Yeah being a perfectionist is something I want to let go of. It is getting in the way of me taking the necessary steps to grow as a person. I am more relaxed about things and am aware that not everything is within my control. I just am taking it one step at a time.
I love this for you!!!!!
my virgo placements are screaming
HAHA same………..
Bro you look younger with that hair ..... love your videos
Replying to your thoughts is also a good way to cope with anxiety. for an example I had my trial exams a few days ago and I was so scared to go there, and all these thoughts telling me the worst case scenarios were not helping at all. So I wrote down the questions that my 'anxiety guy' in my head created and replied to them. It turned out there was no point in stressing out about it. (You can try asking something like: what am I anxious about? why am I anxious about it? Can I change anything to not feel this way?)
I feel like this isn't what the video is about
This is amazing! I do this often as well, and I think it’s such a great way to calm anxiety!
i'm so glad i found ur channel??? love u
Your videos are so comforting and I relate so much to you 🫶🏼
Ugh gurl I swear we are the same person sometimes haha! Thank you so much for this video and all of your content, you’re by far the most influential person i follow and I’m so grateful for all the lessons you teach us!! Your content has really helped me grow and work on the negative side of my perfectionism. Earlier this week I applied to do a year long mission in a foreign country, which I have always felt called to do but kept pushing to the side because my dream of being a missionary messed with “my plans” for after college. I’m nervous but I’m also beyond excited because I know it’s what I have always felt I am called to do in life, and it’s a big step in my journey. after learning so much from you I’ve finally taken the leap of faith I’ve always wanted to. Thank you so much girl ❤
Awww omg my HEART IS SOOO WARM! I appreciate you so much and I’m so proud of you on this journey of self growth 🥹❤️
bestie how do you always know the perfect time when I need these video? much love have a great dayy
Because we’re all connected my love 🥹❤️
I've been dealing with this for a long time, thank you for sharing! This was incredibly helpful!
This is so relatable
Right 🥺❤️
Thank you I really needed to hear this
I love you keep it up with your videos, they making me feel so good thank you for that🙌🏼
I have been planning to go to Canada 🇨🇦 since 2012 but never made the move ,
and now finally going in July with my kids and husband.
I’m so over wanting to plan everything perfectly while life pass me by.
Omg you will love Canada in July 😍
We appreciate your advice. God bless you.
Hard fuckin relate. It shows up as inertia due to thinking myself out of doing things/ overwhelm. Could be the untreated ADHD in part lolz
Lots of love from India ❤️
Thank you!! I just needed this video 💗💗
I’m glad to hear 🥰
@@eliciagoguen ❤
Thank you!
Not Elicia calling me out within the first 10 seconds 😅😂 loved the video ❤
🤪❤️❤️❤️
it's like you came here to call me the f out, thank you! 🔥
You know I got you 🙊
thank you for this 🫶🏼
btw you look so beautiful girl! love your hair 💘
Thank you beautiful 🥰
😭😭😭😭 This video hit it hard
All the best all the fello girlies trynna glo up!
❤❤❤❤
This was perfect timing
Love to hear it 😍
Your video is sow important 👑🫶☺️🏴☠️💪thank you 👑🖤🥀
‘I digress’ 😂 have you seen the golden girls ? If not , give it a try . There’s a lady named Sophia who always says that !
Haha I have not, but I need to now 😍
tysm for making me realise how my studies, health & confidence r all just affected by my perfectionism coz most of the times we forget to be self aware of our situation & certainly need a reminder like this one 🤍
Aww I love you ❤️
Can you do one about teen parenting becoming confident?
Hi, Elicia! Really grateful for your videos! Could you please do a video on dark feminine energy? I still can't figure out if it's worth cultivating. Because for me it seems really toxic and wounded
I have a video on this ❤️ it’s titled, everything you’re getting wrong with feminine energy! The thumbnail is very pink you won’t miss it!!
@@eliciagoguen Thank you!
Ma'am , how do you just know all my problems 😭😭😭😭😭😭💕💕💕
I really be knowing things🥹😭❤️
How do you begin to let go of wanting to be a perfectionist when it's something expected of you in your environment? Such as at home or academically, what do you do when there is outside pressure, not just yourself, in order to let go of this mentality?
It definitely can take time healing this part of you. I think it would better be able to answer your question in a video, but I think a few of the upcoming videos I have on my channel will really help you address this though.❤️
Great video, I relate a lot! Where are you moving to, I just moved to Toronto in the summer!
Omg! I’m not sure yet, I’m still looking at a few areas.. right now i live just outside of the city but I want to be closer 🥹
I thought you’re moving somewhere else, so I’m happy you’re staying in TO (even know it doesn’t really make a difference lol) but good luck finding a place! I know how hard it can be…
studies and assignments :(
i love you.
I love YOU
I’m pretty sure they’re not flagging or suppressing your videos when you say “trauma”. I’ve watched tons of videos recently about trauma with a lot of views. Lol don’t overthink it love.
No like they’ll still let me post it.. I meant for the ads, they will limit ads or play them but the creators don’t earn the revenue if they’re not suitable for advertisers. So it’s really more of a back end issue but I’m not really over thinking it because even when they do they review it and approve. It’s because I talk about mental health issues which can not be suitable for advertising in the markets eyes, along with other topics around body image/EDs and stuff
Imma need you to stop coming for me with these facts every video 😂😂…
You know I had to do it😭😭
I love u lotssss 😘😘😘😘😘
This video saved my life , thank you for this reminder 🥹💓
Omg ily 😭
This Video has inspired me so much literally I am soo happy that people can relate to me. I thought I was so weird for not wanting to meet up with guys that I was texting with a lot, because I thought my Face wasnt perfekt and all that. Literallyy i really needed to hear this. Your such a big sister to me, thank you so much!!!!!😭😭😭🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Awwww I love you so much 🥹❤️😭
You inspire me so much thank you for everything you are doing for us I'm so glad i found you🫶🏻🥹✨❤️
I’m so glad you’re here 🥰❤️