Part 2 is my favorite 5 minutes that any human being has ever spoke. Such huge, deep relief in turning our jackal thoughts (about self & others) into compassionate listening & reframing. Beyond grateful to this man. It’s the first time I’ve ever cried for somebody upon hearing their passing who I never met. His gift to this planet is immeasurable!!
It is with deep sadness that I have learnt today of Rosenberg's passing last Saturday 7th February 2015. Here a man who has created a path for all to journeying with, a path to peace, when ready. I have profound admiration and gratitude for his work and his humanity and he will be forever one of my main role models and mentors.
By using NVC skills and consciousness, the violent situation I was involved with last week was calmed in 2 minutes by offering the other person empathy and then he was able to hear me. I don't theorize NVC yet really practice it daily. It does work in my life to bring peace and harmony, quickly and with quality. thanks always to Marshall..
I am so thankful to have found this book while on the Internet googling chakras after a horrible fight with my husband of 30+ years. I practice Buddhism which is thought of as a peaceful humanitarian practice, but for the past 24 yrs of my practice I have yet to overcome judgments and labeling of my fellow humans including the father of my child. I encourage anyone who is interested in NVC to watch some of the videos that were made of the author himself explaining how his research and book came to be. And most importantly embrace this and execute this way of communicating. This man was and always will be an angel put on this earth and I hope there will be many more born like him.
I have syudied communication all of my life, never have I been more excited about a new way to connect than with this method. It works, it is timely. This is the time for this to work. I have used NVC or Commpassionate Communication for 8 years now. My husband and I thought we had the best connection. Now, we know it can always get better!! My work in mediation enjoys success with these tools in use. Empathy, something we are all hungry for. What is empathy? Marshall knows and will tell you!
A real eye-opener to me was where he states that every comparison is a form of judgment and that any judgment is an act of violence (either against yourself or against others). I tend to follow him on this one. We do not need to judge yet we do it all the time. I've come to understand how important it is to think the right thoughts. Applying this to my everyday life was like a weight fell off my shoulder. What a relief! Thank you Marshall for this valuable insight.
If talking (and your metaphor "shit" is obscure) is an act of violence, then, anything a person does can be called violence. Hence, nothing is not violence. It is necessary to distinguish among, verbal abuse, that is, abuse of language, threat, and violence. Violence is a physical action; it is not communication, just as a street sign is not communication. Communication refers to interactive transmissions of data between organisms using symbols or technologies emitting and receiving symbols. Human beings communicate through language, which is intrinsically nonviolent. "Nonviolent communication" is tautological.
There's moral judgement in framing one's use of language as peaceful and the other violent. There's moral judgement against violence. Society is based on violence, the tribe and its land, is defended by violence. Violence is also used to obtain more resources(land) for a growing tribe. It is the non-warriors who are safely enclosed inside the nation, who have the privilege of being pacifists and judging violence.
When we are not harming ourselves we are not harming others. When we are not harming others we are not harming ourselves. What's the difference? NONE whatsoever! Thank u Marshall.
This is an excellent summary of the idea behind Marshall's way of communicating, for example, getting people away from talking about the Bible or the Koran and instead to talking about their natural human needs. A suggestion for those using NVC: Try to avoid using terms like "alive within you"; "power over"; "stay present". They may confuse some people. Using other terms can help more people worldwide understand the central message of NVC. Steve Hein - founder eqi dot org
Last Night I found I was once again referring a friend to Marshall Rosenbergs NVC book, which I read so many years ago. I was searching the website to find the book so I could pass on the information. I was affected in hearing of his passing and listening to his voice ( that voice … that voice ) brought back that dark time for me so many years ago. I realize now when talking to so many people in crisis how many I have referred to that book. Im realizing now how much it meant to me and still does. I have tears in my eyes and feel a sense of loss for all of us at Marshalls passing. My condolences to his friends and family, you were all so very lucky to have spent some time with him. There is a place for you Marshall a good place where ever that is
drmgiver, sounds like you need what we all need; security & peace. Marshall doesn't advocate letting Al Quaeda or anyone else walk all over us or anybody else. He advocates the "protective use of force"- force used to protect us and others, not to punish. When you react to feelings of fear you perpetuate a system from which there is no escape. Peace can be achieved without putting ourselves at risk - ever. Rosenberg will go down in history as a great man.
I have taken this training. It is amazing what happens when you are heard and respected for having needs. And given the space to bring your requests to the table. I am grateful. I am less lost in rationalizations of right and wrong as a means to get my needs met. For that I am grateful. When I watch political pundits on TV bringing their ideals and values to the table I see how overly complex we have made the human equation in modern society. I want them to tell me their veiled need.
Marshall Rosenberg, one of the wisest man i have ever known, humanity should have given him the novel price for all his kindness and great method to help us be a much better race! My greatest respect for him and his amazing work!
"Are our needs being met? And if not what can we do so that everyone's needs get met" That's the language of non-violent communication. Invaluable work, thank you so much for this video Dr. Rosenberg. I got so much clarity.
A person could say you're not meeting their needs, which requires an unwanted sacrifice from you, and that person could then refuse to meet your needs. The assumption is that both parties will be reasonable and that both needs will be in proportion to each other. Not all parties can be satisfied. People will compete for resources when they are limited.
love his work. I´m studying this since nearly a year and it changed my live to be more free, responsible and generous in giving good live feelings. It´s just the way to paradise again because this teaches the love what we need to reconnect with the ones who could be important for us in any way.
Spread the word. I find what Marshall Rosenberg explains here is brilliant. Such a pity I had not been aware of this. I too had asked myself the same questions many years ago. I never found anything really helped. As a nurse working in mental health I witnessed a great deal of abuse and violence. This insight and understanding brings new light and compassion which I will now commit myself to understanding and practice in my everyday life situations. I hope it will change my life journey.
What a wise man, indeed!!! You can see this specific kind of internal power and innteligence on his face!!! I think he's able to help many people!!! And I bless him for that he helped You so succesfully, My Darling!!! I love You with all my heart and soul, My Dearest!!!
It is taught in all Waldorf Schools and in some public schools around the World. I agree that the World would be a healthier place if every school taught this way of communicating and listening. I have heard Mr. Rosenberg and others say that the kids pick it up very quickly.
An amazing presentation by an amazing man - stated so succinctly and clearly that even a child could understand. Thank goodness his wonderful legacy lives on. This mode of communication should be taught in all schools all over the world and bigotry and enmity would soon die out.
This teaching epitomized my life. I was lucky enough to study for 10 years with Marshall and twoof his teachers, Holley Humphrey, and Kelly Bryson, formerly of San Diego, CA
NVC, a path I started 5 years ago and will always will be grateful for these learnings, this consciousness, spirituality and a chance to share Compassionate Communication with many others. Marshall I thank you for helping to pave the way for my transformation. It is fun!
Excellent series laying out the communication options we all have for choosing the more compassionate and empowering communicative styles over more negative options
True love doesn't consist in any fighting at all, My Sweetest, but just in understanding each other's needs and fulfiling each other's wishes. It's so obvious, indeed. And what a pity that some people are not able to understand such a simple thing!!!
Wow this is so moving, Marshall Rosenberg I believe everyone need to hear this, I will share it with many, a world focus on humanism built on compassion and empathy has the power to transform. Thank you!
Let go of what has passed. Let go of what may come. Let go of what is happening now. Don’t try to figure anything out. Don’t try to make anything happen. Relax, right now, and rest.
People are all the same regardless of differences; we all have similar needs and perceive threats to our survival. NVC isn't just about expressing the needs it's about equality.When you ask for help meeting the need, you retain equality and respect. I also need to see this actually used in extreme conflict to have 100% faith in it, but until we express our fears that it won't work with those who are considered to be Psycho/Sociopaths (our personal bullies) it's blind faith, like everything else.
It is funny since I have heard his jokes so many times at live workshops. Somehow the same jokes keep getting funnier. I keep trying to figure out how he does this. A master speaker and a huge contribution to our world.
I'm guessing that by calling Marshall a saint you simply mean that he contributed a lot of well-being to your life as well as to others. Yes? I'm uncomfortable with the word saint applied to anyone because it's a label that is static and inaccurate. Marshall could be both described as kind and unkind depending on the need of a person at the time. I don't mean to be picky. I just want to respect what Marshall taught me. Love to you!
Yes NVC can be challenging for new practitioners, yet when the intention is really for authenticity and to connect with the speaker, the words if offered flow out naturally and easily. Many times I don't need to offer words as the intention is felt by the speaker. When you do offer empathy verbally, try not to use "need" but maybe value, like, like: such as: Do you want more confidence using NVC?
@cbtalis I remember looking for excitement to alleviate boredom and frustration as a teen also. One can get addicted to anything, video games, sex or even violence. For me, I've been trying to face the violence (harm to life) cause by my indulgence in my own special fetish or addiction. I no longer want to hurt myself and others with habits that cause suffering. It's hard to change though. I just keep turning my attention inward - a kind of inner body meditation - among other things :-)
I agree essentially. I would say though that people turn out like that because of how they are raised, their environment ultimately. I agree that some people get to the point of sadism unfortunately. Also, this is strong material. I still believe it's valuable stuff. It could help probably so many people, but not everyone is capable of being non-emotional. We just can't make everyone see reason or empathy.
I agree! It's sad that Jacques has done what he has, the idea is still alive, peeple are still willing to try, it will work! I wish my kids knew, I'd love to have shared it with them! Inspirational! :)
I'd strongly recommend to anyone interested in the nature of human violence, that they read Azar Gat, 'War in Human Civilization' - it's a very long book but thoroughly enjoyable and engaging, particularly in it's assessment of violence in pre-agricultural humans.
20 years down the road I believe modern psychology will be dealing with the damage caused by new age psychology. In it's greed to make a buck it will tell you what you want to hear rather then encouraging old fashioned straightforward communication.
Observation. Members of small communities understand forcing the women or abusing the men damages the community's survival. When the community is constantly over-taxed eventually everyone is at risk, whether it's losing lives to preventable accidents or damaging efforts to store / learn / teach / train (new and old alike). Cooperation through mutual equality and respect are necessities for healthy growth. When you're gone hunting all day, what is there / why are you / who are you returning to?
This is important for the people to understand and have a lot in common with the communication in TVP. Does he know jacque fresco (the founder of the venus project)?
Send this man to Israel to help that nation's leaders and extremists to understand that their "need for safety" would be far better achieved by simply understanding the natural need for human dignity that their Palestinian victims have been seeking for 70 years.
While there are or were tribal societies with very little violence, most tribal societies were more warlike than modern state-based societies. So actually this business of having kings, and politicians using a monopoly of violence to rule other people is a big difference. Modern societies are much less violent than tribal societies.
I will always remember Marshall Rosenberg and will be always wary of anyone that follows his teachings. I speak for myself and many people that have been scarred by this person and his teachings.
Based on this research, I would say that Rosenberg's linkage of "hunter-gatherer" societies translating into peaceful conditions is flawed. The range of violence from archaeological evidence in primitive societies reveals a broad spectrum from peaceful to violent. Clearly, there were some very peaceful groups; there were also some incredibly violent groups. So, being "primitive, or pre-agricultural, apparently is not the key component.
when we were all in small tribes maybe our violence was directed outwards as a means of surviving amongst the elements and nature. surely the most cunning and violent would have been the ones who fetched home the most meat for dinner and therefore would've held the most respect from the others in the tribe. we have now been so far removed from nature that maybe either the loving part or the killing parts of us are the only natural thing that is left in us
@cbtalis Are you sufferring from a lot of pain inside yourself? Perhaps you have been hurt a lot in your life by others and now that pain inside wishes to be more at home in the world by creating pain around yourself that it can resonate with? Basically you are expressing a need to be connected with others and you find you can do this through pain?
@selloutworld Too much importance attached to language? Language is the basis of intelligence and civilization. It's importance cannotbe underestimated.
Walter Wink found that 8000 yrs ago, the way we communicated started to include a new vocabulary - shame, demeaning language, and along with the language, gestures - to hit or smite someone to take away the dignity of others because the few determine what is permitted and if they are the winners, then the others are the losers. Amazing and sad!!! Can we revert? I believe so, but changing a culture is hard work, and is well worth the struggle. Otherwise war, not peace, will be the way of the world.
03:35 - That's simply not true. Violence is at an _all time low_ in modern society. Infanticide, horrific child abuse, and senseless violence used to be the norm throughout most of human history. Violence has never been at such low levels. Thanks to instant communication and mass media it can seem like we live in a very violent world, but, for all the people that live on the planet now, violence has never been lower. www.ted.com/talks/steven_pinker_on_the_myth_of_violence?language=en
+Benji Asperheim He's talking about 8 thousand years ago. From his sources, punitive structures started developing after that time to maintain power for a select few. If you watch the third video, he agrees with you that things are starting to shift back to becoming less violent. I'm a little worried that you might miss out on something because of a minor misunderstanding
Mitchell Altherr Don't worry. I didn't miss out. I've studied a lot of NVC, and I've gotten a lot from it. I'd like to see the evidence for those claims. From what I've read and studied, most infanticide was _not_ for survival and most maltreatment of children was pretty sadistic. My understanding is that we have very little evidence of culture in general, from 8000 years ago, let alone cultural perceptions of child-rearing. The Code of Hammurabi is one of the oldest written laws/edicts, as far as justice goes, and that's not even 4000 years old. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_of_Hammurabi
I haven't seen the evidence either. I just wanted to clear that up because it seems like you are talking about a different time period than him. Maybe google the author that he refers to and see if you can find it and if it seems credible. Maybe he used the hunter gatherer societies that have existed recently to draw conclusions about hunter gatherer societies of millennia ago
+Benji Asperheim This makes Marshall's theory more credible for me. According to wikipedia, The egalitarianism typical of human hunters and gatherers is never total, but is striking when viewed in an evolutionary context. One of humanity's two closest primate relatives, chimpanzees, are anything but egalitarian, forming themselves into hierarchies that are often dominated by an alpha male. So great is the contrast with human hunter-gatherers that it is widely argued by palaeoanthropologists that resistance to being dominated was a key factor driving the evolutionary emergence of human consciousness, language, kinship and social organization Let me know your response to this Edit: Just a few more words
Mitchell Altherr Let me ask you this. Have you ever disagreed with Marshall on anything? Is everything in the NVC book the "gospel truth"? If so, what do you disagree with?
What about the needs of murderers, rapists and pedophiles? Rosenberg's theories are marvellous but you can't make them absolute. Some people are just hellbent on harming people, and they enjoy harming people. They do not care for reason and the only language they understand is violence. It may be hard to wrap your mind around it, but once you've met them you know that these people are real, beyond redemption and utterly terrifying.
Once you understand this it seems so logical, but the path to understanding this simple sentence is very rough, we have to get rid of all the fairy tales that have been hammered into our brains for our whole life.
I quite like the method Rosenberg has developed, but the intellectual basis (which he says was added later) doesn't hold up to facts. If you prefer I can just say: I see Rosenberg presenting a view I think is wrong. I feel annoyed. I'd like to be understood, so can you consider what it would mean to you if the background Rosenberg is presenting here turned out to be incorrect?
His books can be found @cnvc.org (Great stuff! Scary, at first, have an open mind/ courage and strength, let go of your own fear and hurt, it's becomes amazing!) Lots of examples and training in the books to help approach these situations in a capable and effective manner. I'm sure there still will be those rare few who simply refuse to work with others for any reason despite all best efforts, but then if there weren't, this would be a utopian existence, we'd all be Gods.lol. Hope that helped :)
correct. What's difficult about it, and what's limiting about it? In my own extension to this, every use of adjectives is applying your own brain to facts, thus making them unreal.
Jean Piaget's cognitive stages is an eloquent example of the importance of satisfying our needs. This has resulted in civilization, all embracing civilization.
"the fact you're a biological puppet" this is not a fact, just a belief (also connected with the belief that our current understanding of world in general and biology in particular is complete or very close to being so, this being a belief because we have no way of telling if it is so). As to connectedness I don't think it can be at all expressed in language, it can be rather experienced outside of language.
If NVC were the answer to conflict, why not apply it in the currents world affairs between neighbors, like Russia an Crimea, or Israel and Palestine? In the example with two warring tribes, do the chiefs speak English? Does the negotiator posses a deep knowledge of their culture and language, and then offer us his translation? Is the translation unbiased?
Dr. Rosenberg isn't making a scientific point about tribal versus state-dominate societies. He's demonstrating the ideas that lead to violence (moralistic judgment, denying responsibility). He's saying "do you want to live in a violent way or a peaceful way?" This is quite an ironic place to see a debate about who's right ;)
There's moral judgement in framing one's use of language as peaceful and the other violent. There's moral judgement against violence. Society is based on violence, the tribe and its land, is defended by violence. Violence is also used to obtain more resources(land) for a growing tribe. It is the non-warriors who are safely enclosed inside the nation, who have the privilege of being pacifists and judging violence.
I like the idea of nonviolent communication. However i don't see the logic in the assertion that violent communication suddenly appeared 8,000 years ago. i tend to think violence is deeply ingrained into the nature of evolution. it's possible that we evolved out of a very violent nature and somehow found the ability to live in harmony. i believe it has been accomplished in societies around the world for periods through history, but have been destroyed by violent societies.
An idiot is someone with an IQ of less than 20. I don't think anybody who can make a youtube comment has that handicap. Where is good there is also bad, most inherit both, so there is an understanding for both human sides. We all aim for our well-being. Cheer up dudes. I hope your needs get met and you learn something of this great man who has not enough recognition for his potential contribution to World Peace. :-)
Google "Steven Pinker on Deaths by Violence in Pre-state Societies", it's a blog entry with lots of statistics. Another one "Enduring myth of ‘noble savage’ vs. a species at continuous war?" is a review. "in most remaining tribal societies [...] comparative fatality rates from war were four to six times higher than even the worst experienced by modern nations, such as Germany and Russia in the 20th century. In tribal society, warfare was a recurring, annual, even seasonal occurrence."
Nathan Navarrete Totally illogical, captain; the planet from which he came is fiction, hence then one can logically never deduct that a true concept of his ego could therefore have ever existed.
Part 2 is my favorite 5 minutes that any human being has ever spoke. Such huge, deep relief in turning our jackal thoughts (about self & others) into compassionate listening & reframing. Beyond grateful to this man.
It’s the first time I’ve ever cried for somebody upon hearing their passing who I never met. His gift to this planet is immeasurable!!
It is with deep sadness that I have learnt today of Rosenberg's passing last Saturday 7th February 2015. Here a man who has created a path for all to journeying with, a path to peace, when ready. I have profound admiration and gratitude for his work and his humanity and he will be forever one of my main role models and mentors.
Grant O'Callaghan
I feel the same. so sad I just learned this day,,,I had to ask him a question too!
By using NVC skills and consciousness, the violent situation I was involved with last week was calmed in 2 minutes by offering the other person empathy and then he was able to hear me. I don't theorize NVC yet really practice it daily. It does work in my life to bring peace and harmony, quickly and with quality. thanks always to Marshall..
I am so thankful to have found this book while on the Internet googling chakras after a horrible fight with my husband of 30+ years. I practice Buddhism which is thought of as a peaceful humanitarian practice, but for the past 24 yrs of my practice I have yet to overcome judgments and labeling of my fellow humans including the father of my child. I encourage anyone who is interested in NVC to watch some of the videos that were made of the author himself explaining how his research and book came to be. And most importantly embrace this and execute this way of communicating. This man was and always will be an angel put on this earth and I hope there will be many more born like him.
I a great full for this wisdom.
Kyle Cease
I have syudied communication all of my life, never have I been more excited about a new way to connect than with this method. It works, it is timely. This is the time for this to work. I have used NVC or Commpassionate Communication for 8 years now. My husband and I thought we had the best connection. Now, we know it can always get better!! My work in mediation enjoys success with these tools in use. Empathy, something we are all hungry for. What is empathy? Marshall knows and will tell you!
A real eye-opener to me was where he states that every comparison is a form of judgment and that any judgment is an act of violence (either against yourself or against others). I tend to follow him on this one. We do not need to judge yet we do it all the time. I've come to understand how important it is to think the right thoughts. Applying this to my everyday life was like a weight fell off my shoulder. What a relief!
Thank you Marshall for this valuable insight.
"Judge not" is a judgment. It follows, then, that it is, to quote you "an act of violence."
If talking (and your metaphor "shit" is obscure) is an act of violence, then, anything a person does can be called violence. Hence, nothing is not violence. It is necessary to distinguish among, verbal abuse, that is, abuse of language, threat, and violence. Violence is a physical action; it is not communication, just as a street sign is not communication. Communication refers to interactive transmissions of data between organisms using symbols or technologies emitting and receiving symbols. Human beings communicate through language, which is intrinsically nonviolent. "Nonviolent communication" is tautological.
There's moral judgement in framing one's use of language as peaceful and the other violent. There's moral judgement against violence. Society is based on violence, the tribe and its land, is defended by violence. Violence is also used to obtain more resources(land) for a growing tribe. It is the non-warriors who are safely enclosed inside the nation, who have the privilege of being pacifists and judging violence.
When we are not harming ourselves we are not harming others. When we are not harming others we are not harming ourselves. What's the difference? NONE whatsoever!
Thank u Marshall.
This is an excellent summary of the idea behind Marshall's way of communicating, for example, getting people away from talking about the Bible or the Koran and instead to talking about their natural human needs.
A suggestion for those using NVC: Try to avoid using terms like "alive within you"; "power over"; "stay present". They may confuse some people. Using other terms can help more people worldwide understand the central message of NVC.
Steve Hein - founder eqi dot org
Last Night I found I was once again referring a friend to Marshall Rosenbergs NVC book, which I read so many years ago. I was searching the website to find the book so I could pass on the information. I was affected in hearing of his passing and listening to his voice ( that voice … that voice ) brought back that dark time for me so many years ago. I realize now when talking to so many people in crisis how many I have referred to that book. Im realizing now how much it meant to me and still does. I have tears in my eyes and feel a sense of loss for all of us at Marshalls passing. My condolences to his friends and family, you were all so very lucky to have spent some time with him. There is a place for you Marshall a good place where ever that is
drmgiver, sounds like you need what we all need; security & peace. Marshall doesn't advocate letting Al Quaeda or anyone else walk all over us or anybody else. He advocates the "protective use of force"- force used to protect us and others, not to punish. When you react to feelings of fear you perpetuate a system from which there is no escape. Peace can be achieved without putting ourselves at risk - ever. Rosenberg will go down in history as a great man.
I have taken this training. It is amazing what happens when you are heard and respected for having needs. And given the space to bring your requests to the table. I am grateful. I am less lost in rationalizations of right and wrong as a means to get my needs met. For that I am grateful. When I watch political pundits on TV bringing their ideals and values to the table I see how overly complex we have made the human equation in modern society. I want them to tell me their veiled need.
Marshall Rosenberg, one of the wisest man i have ever known, humanity should have given him the novel price for all his kindness and great method to help us be a much better race! My greatest respect for him and his amazing work!
"Are our needs being met? And if not what can we do so that everyone's needs get met" That's the language of non-violent communication.
Invaluable work, thank you so much for this video Dr. Rosenberg. I got so much clarity.
A person could say you're not meeting their needs, which requires an unwanted sacrifice from you, and that person could then refuse to meet your needs. The assumption is that both parties will be reasonable and that both needs will be in proportion to each other. Not all parties can be satisfied. People will compete for resources when they are limited.
spread the peace and love consciousness, Welcome the Golden Age.
thanks and blessings
love his work. I´m studying this since nearly a year and it changed my live to be more free, responsible and generous in giving good live feelings. It´s just the way to paradise again because this teaches the love what we need to reconnect with the ones who could be important for us in any way.
"Full presence" ...I'm getting a dopamine rush. This is (again) helping me to break another lens I've looked through most of my life. My gratitude,
Spread the word. I find what Marshall Rosenberg explains here is brilliant.
Such a pity I had not been aware of this. I too had asked myself the same questions many years ago. I never found anything really helped. As a nurse working in mental health I witnessed a great deal of abuse and violence. This insight and understanding brings new light and compassion which I will now commit myself to understanding and practice in my everyday life situations. I hope it will change my life journey.
What a wise man, indeed!!! You can see this specific kind of internal power and innteligence on his face!!! I think he's able to help many people!!! And I bless him for that he helped You so succesfully, My Darling!!! I love You with all my heart and soul, My Dearest!!!
I read his book and it turned around a lot of my believe systems. It added to the 'well being' of my life and the others around me. Thanks Marshall!
Bigger picture of health, wellness & vitality. Genius!!!
It is taught in all Waldorf Schools and in some public schools around the World. I agree that the World would be a healthier place if every school taught this way of communicating and listening. I have heard Mr. Rosenberg and others say that the kids pick it up very quickly.
An amazing presentation by an amazing man - stated so succinctly and clearly that even a child could understand. Thank goodness his wonderful legacy lives on. This mode of communication should be taught in all schools all over the world and bigotry and enmity would soon die out.
Priceless! Thank you Dr. Marshall Rosenberg... Your contribution is invaluable.
This teaching epitomized my life. I was lucky enough to study for 10 years with Marshall and twoof his teachers, Holley Humphrey, and Kelly Bryson, formerly of San Diego, CA
I respect this man's work enormously.
NVC, a path I started 5 years ago and will always will be grateful for these learnings, this consciousness, spirituality and a chance to share Compassionate Communication with many others. Marshall I thank you for helping to pave the way for my transformation.
It is fun!
Excellent series laying out the communication options we all have for choosing the more compassionate and empowering communicative styles over more negative options
About 2 weeks ago I bumbed into thus information. It has helped to start taking time each time I talk or act. Thanks Marshal!
True love doesn't consist in any fighting at all, My Sweetest, but just in understanding each other's needs and fulfiling each other's wishes. It's so obvious, indeed. And what a pity that some people are not able to understand such a simple thing!!!
Wow this is so moving, Marshall Rosenberg I believe everyone need to hear this, I will share it with many, a world focus on humanism built on compassion and empathy has the power to transform. Thank you!
He is a Legend!
Happy Birthday Marshall and grateful for your contributions to myself and the world.....
Every diplomat should know about this video
Let go of what has passed.
Let go of what may come.
Let go of what is happening now.
Don’t try to figure anything out.
Don’t try to make anything happen.
Relax, right now, and rest.
I've been constantly question the structure that we live in. Your Nonviolent Communication is pretty much answered it all. Thanks!
People are all the same regardless of differences; we all have similar needs and perceive threats to our survival. NVC isn't just about expressing the needs it's about equality.When you ask for help meeting the need, you retain equality and respect. I also need to see this actually used in extreme conflict to have 100% faith in it, but until we express our fears that it won't work with those who are considered to be Psycho/Sociopaths (our personal bullies) it's blind faith, like everything else.
I am here to contribute to the population of nontrump supporter prosperity.
Kind wishes to a, Departed Soul. Still learning. Thanks for sharing.
AMEN and NAMASTE!!!
we have to use this and stand strong as individuals but remember we aren't alone , and speak non-violently and heal and unify
It is funny since I have heard his jokes so many times at live workshops. Somehow the same jokes keep getting funnier. I keep trying to figure out how he does this. A master speaker and a huge contribution to our world.
I miss him so much. He was a Saint
I'm guessing that by calling Marshall a saint you simply mean that he contributed a lot of well-being to your life as well as to others. Yes? I'm uncomfortable with the word saint applied to anyone because it's a label that is static and inaccurate. Marshall could be both described as kind and unkind depending on the need of a person at the time. I don't mean to be picky. I just want to respect what Marshall taught me. Love to you!
Unbelievable how simple this is!
Yes NVC can be challenging for new practitioners, yet when the intention is really for authenticity and to connect with the speaker, the words if offered flow out naturally and easily.
Many times I don't need to offer words as the intention is felt by the speaker. When you do offer empathy verbally, try not to use "need" but maybe value, like, like: such as: Do you want more confidence using NVC?
Thank you for sharing your insights, experiences concerning non violent communication.
Wow, this goes to favorites right away and i'm going to share this.
Thanks for posting this, Colette. This is a really great intro into NVC and the mind of M.R. Fabulous!
amazing words, I exprience great intelectual pleasure listening to this man, i felt like clapping at the end
@cbtalis I remember looking for excitement to alleviate boredom and frustration as a teen also. One can get addicted to anything, video games, sex or even violence. For me, I've been trying to face the violence (harm to life) cause by my indulgence in my own special fetish or addiction. I no longer want to hurt myself and others with habits that cause suffering. It's hard to change though. I just keep turning my attention inward - a kind of inner body meditation - among other things :-)
NVC could change the world if everyone committed to it!
I agree essentially. I would say though that people turn out like that because of how they are raised, their environment ultimately. I agree that some people get to the point of sadism unfortunately. Also, this is strong material. I still believe it's valuable stuff. It could help probably so many people, but not everyone is capable of being non-emotional. We just can't make everyone see reason or empathy.
I'm so glad I found your videos. I also have your book
I agree! It's sad that Jacques has done what he has, the idea is still alive, peeple are still willing to try, it will work! I wish my kids knew, I'd love to have shared it with them! Inspirational! :)
I'd strongly recommend to anyone interested in the nature of human violence, that they read Azar Gat, 'War in Human Civilization' - it's a very long book but thoroughly enjoyable and engaging, particularly in it's assessment of violence in pre-agricultural humans.
20 years down the road I believe modern psychology will be dealing with the damage caused by new age psychology. In it's greed to make a buck it will tell you what you want to hear rather then encouraging old fashioned straightforward communication.
Observation. Members of small communities understand forcing the women or abusing the men damages the community's survival. When the community is constantly over-taxed eventually everyone is at risk, whether it's losing lives to preventable accidents or damaging efforts to store / learn / teach / train (new and old alike). Cooperation through mutual equality and respect are necessities for healthy growth. When you're gone hunting all day, what is there / why are you / who are you returning to?
Menny thanks for telling true
This is important for the people to understand and have a lot in common with the communication in TVP. Does he know jacque fresco (the founder of the venus project)?
Merci pour votre livre : les mots sont des fenêtres ( ou bien ce sont des murs ).
la CNV est un très bon outil.
Send this man to Israel to help that nation's leaders and extremists to understand that their "need for safety" would be far better achieved by simply understanding the natural need for human dignity that their Palestinian victims have been seeking for 70 years.
While there are or were tribal societies with very little violence, most tribal societies were more warlike than modern state-based societies. So actually this business of having kings, and politicians using a monopoly of violence to rule other people is a big difference. Modern societies are much less violent than tribal societies.
I will always remember Marshall Rosenberg and will be always wary of anyone that follows his teachings. I speak for myself and many people that have been scarred by this person and his teachings.
cfcreative1 what has he done to you?
How can people dislike this?
Based on this research, I would say that Rosenberg's linkage of "hunter-gatherer" societies translating into peaceful conditions is flawed. The range of violence from archaeological evidence in primitive societies reveals a broad spectrum from peaceful to violent. Clearly, there were some very peaceful groups; there were also some incredibly violent groups. So, being "primitive, or pre-agricultural, apparently is not the key component.
Good talk, but the transcription has errors :( ... It appears the equipment has auto-correct?
@Intimo1901
Ya existe en Espanol - titulo: "Comunicación no violenta. Un lenguaje de vida" Busca en el internet.... - suerte!
What about the definition of need and the perception of relative needs?
Needs of everyone gets met.
Amazing yet so obvious.
when we were all in small tribes maybe our violence was directed outwards as a means of surviving amongst the elements and nature. surely the most cunning and violent would have been the ones who fetched home the most meat for dinner and therefore would've held the most respect from the others in the tribe. we have now been so far removed from nature that maybe either the loving part or the killing parts of us are the only natural thing that is left in us
wow... what a great message! :)
awesome, clear seeing... :-)
Quiero este libro si o si y quiero este video con subtitulos.
but does it need both parties to use it? what if my "opponent" is not familiar with NVC? this is the 99% of situations
beginning to see nvc as a translator
connecting at the level of human need (commonality)
Should have started at 4:45 and ended with the beginning.
3:26 assumptions. Living in small groups is equally a ground for power strugles and mind games...
@cbtalis Are you sufferring from a lot of pain inside yourself? Perhaps you have been hurt a lot in your life by others and now that pain inside wishes to be more at home in the world by creating pain around yourself that it can resonate with? Basically you are expressing a need to be connected with others and you find you can do this through pain?
Good talk, but the transcription has errors :(
@selloutworld Too much importance attached to language? Language is the basis of intelligence and civilization. It's importance cannotbe underestimated.
Can you tell me the source of this interview?
wonderfull!
Walter Wink found that 8000 yrs ago, the way we communicated started to include a new vocabulary - shame, demeaning language, and along with the language, gestures - to hit or smite someone to take away the dignity of others because the few determine what is permitted and if they are the winners, then the others are the losers. Amazing and sad!!! Can we revert? I believe so, but changing a culture is hard work, and is well worth the struggle. Otherwise war, not peace, will be the way of the world.
03:35 - That's simply not true. Violence is at an _all time low_ in modern society. Infanticide, horrific child abuse, and senseless violence used to be the norm throughout most of human history. Violence has never been at such low levels. Thanks to instant communication and mass media it can seem like we live in a very violent world, but, for all the people that live on the planet now, violence has never been lower.
www.ted.com/talks/steven_pinker_on_the_myth_of_violence?language=en
+Benji Asperheim He's talking about 8 thousand years ago. From his sources, punitive structures started developing after that time to maintain power for a select few. If you watch the third video, he agrees with you that things are starting to shift back to becoming less violent. I'm a little worried that you might miss out on something because of a minor misunderstanding
Mitchell Altherr Don't worry. I didn't miss out. I've studied a lot of NVC, and I've gotten a lot from it.
I'd like to see the evidence for those claims. From what I've read and studied, most infanticide was _not_ for survival and most maltreatment of children was pretty sadistic. My understanding is that we have very little evidence of culture in general, from 8000 years ago, let alone cultural perceptions of child-rearing.
The Code of Hammurabi is one of the oldest written laws/edicts, as far as justice goes, and that's not even 4000 years old.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Code_of_Hammurabi
I haven't seen the evidence either. I just wanted to clear that up because it seems like you are talking about a different time period than him. Maybe google the author that he refers to and see if you can find it and if it seems credible. Maybe he used the hunter gatherer societies that have existed recently to draw conclusions about hunter gatherer societies of millennia ago
+Benji Asperheim This makes Marshall's theory more credible for me.
According to wikipedia,
The egalitarianism typical of human hunters and gatherers is never
total, but is striking when viewed in an evolutionary context. One of
humanity's two closest primate relatives, chimpanzees, are anything but
egalitarian, forming themselves into hierarchies that are often
dominated by an alpha male. So great is the contrast with human
hunter-gatherers that it is widely argued by palaeoanthropologists that
resistance to being dominated was a key factor driving the evolutionary
emergence of human consciousness, language, kinship and social
organization
Let me know your response to this
Edit: Just a few more words
Mitchell Altherr Let me ask you this. Have you ever disagreed with Marshall on anything? Is everything in the NVC book the "gospel truth"? If so, what do you disagree with?
What about the needs of murderers, rapists and pedophiles?
Rosenberg's theories are marvellous but you can't make them absolute. Some people are just hellbent on harming people, and they enjoy harming people. They do not care for reason and the only language they understand is violence. It may be hard to wrap your mind around it, but once you've met them you know that these people are real, beyond redemption and utterly terrifying.
Once you understand this it seems so logical, but the path to understanding this simple sentence is very rough, we have to get rid of all the fairy tales that have been hammered into our brains for our whole life.
John Rose and cooking our food.
There is no good or bad, just consequences for our actions.
10 yrs :)
I quite like the method Rosenberg has developed, but the intellectual basis (which he says was added later) doesn't hold up to facts. If you prefer I can just say: I see Rosenberg presenting a view I think is wrong. I feel annoyed. I'd like to be understood, so can you consider what it would mean to you if the background Rosenberg is presenting here turned out to be incorrect?
His books can be found @cnvc.org (Great stuff! Scary, at first, have an open mind/ courage and strength, let go of your own fear and hurt, it's becomes amazing!)
Lots of examples and training in the books to help approach these situations in a capable and effective manner. I'm sure there still will be those rare few who simply refuse to work with others for any reason despite all best efforts, but then if there weren't, this would be a utopian existence, we'd all be Gods.lol. Hope that helped :)
Am I the only one who can't help but think this guy is the Earthly Version of Spoc?
So there is no truth and purpose, there are just needs. An interesting, but very limiting view.
correct. What's difficult about it, and what's limiting about it?
In my own extension to this, every use of adjectives is applying your own brain to facts, thus making them unreal.
Jean Piaget's cognitive stages is an eloquent example of the importance of satisfying our needs. This has resulted in civilization, all embracing civilization.
"the fact you're a biological puppet" this is not a fact, just a belief (also connected with the belief that our current understanding of world in general and biology in particular is complete or very close to being so, this being a belief because we have no way of telling if it is so).
As to connectedness I don't think it can be at all expressed in language, it can be rather experienced outside of language.
If NVC were the answer to conflict, why not apply it in the currents world affairs between neighbors, like Russia an Crimea, or Israel and Palestine? In the example with two warring tribes, do the chiefs speak English? Does the negotiator posses a deep knowledge of their culture and language, and then offer us his translation? Is the translation unbiased?
You have a need to have your post to be understood, I think.
Damn, that Marshall is gone. Nonviolent communication remains.
Dr. Rosenberg isn't making a scientific point about tribal versus state-dominate societies. He's demonstrating the ideas that lead to violence (moralistic judgment, denying responsibility). He's saying "do you want to live in a violent way or a peaceful way?" This is quite an ironic place to see a debate about who's right ;)
There's moral judgement in framing one's use of language as peaceful and the other violent. There's moral judgement against violence. Society is based on violence, the tribe and its land, is defended by violence. Violence is also used to obtain more resources(land) for a growing tribe. It is the non-warriors who are safely enclosed inside the nation, who have the privilege of being pacifists and judging violence.
I like the idea of nonviolent communication. However i don't see the logic in the assertion that violent communication suddenly appeared 8,000 years ago. i tend to think violence is deeply ingrained into the nature of evolution. it's possible that we evolved out of a very violent nature and somehow found the ability to live in harmony. i believe it has been accomplished in societies around the world for periods through history, but have been destroyed by violent societies.
An idiot is someone with an IQ of less than 20. I don't think anybody who can make a youtube comment has that handicap. Where is good there is also bad, most inherit both, so there is an understanding for both human sides. We all aim for our well-being. Cheer up dudes. I hope your needs get met and you learn something of this great man who has not enough recognition for his potential contribution to World Peace. :-)
We live in a domination structure. Let's not kid ourselves.
Google "Steven Pinker on Deaths by Violence in Pre-state Societies", it's a blog entry with lots of statistics.
Another one "Enduring myth of ‘noble savage’ vs. a species at continuous war?" is a review.
"in most remaining tribal societies [...] comparative fatality rates from war were four to six times higher than even the worst experienced by modern nations, such as Germany and Russia in the 20th century. In tribal society, warfare was a recurring, annual, even seasonal occurrence."
For some reason, this guy reminds me of Spock.
+FluttterFox The difference is Marshal is deeply in tune with his feelings. Spock is all ego :P
Nathan Navarrete
Totally illogical, captain; the planet from which he came is fiction, hence then one can logically never deduct that a true concept of his ego could therefore have ever existed.
He does not look like Norman Bates, Ive told myself that a few times now.
No, but he looks like Anthony Perkins a bit!