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Spot a RED FLAG? Ask the Tough Questions
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
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but many women lie about it, so I agree that even they know it's a shameless thing.
Why dont you go and interview a christian woman who really is a believer in christianity and also go and interview a Muslim woman who believes in Allah (god) . I like to see what those type of woman have to say . Thanks
It is absolutely permission to cheat
@@muskokamike127 weren't you getting upset that your gf would get turned on by other women?
Man i wish i could see that video. I really wonna know but i am broke
Women look for men with a good future.
Men look for women with a good past.
best comment
That is so true. I learned to my cost that you ignore her past at your peril.
Good one!
This deserves a heart and a pin
Very true. The past is the best predictor of the future.
"It is better to be single and celibate, than to be with a low quality woman." Alexander spitting straight fire right here. So much pain can be avoided if men simply understand this concept.
That verse is actually paraphrased from the Bible. I'm happy he knows such a thing !
Dallas. ... so true man! 👊👍
This is a secular version of "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." - Proverbs 25:24
@@davidjaparidze6737 its better for men not to marry is from New testament mostly. Funny thing its same chapter that feminists despise church on. There is line about women submiting to men funny thing is one more verse and you have whole feminist argument overturned in about as much long line aa they used to their claim
@Dallas Coryell, This is just common sense from kindergarten days - It's better to have no friends then be with bad friends. That pretty much goes with everything when related with people.
The uncomfortable silence of the first girl tells you everything you need to know.
Her answer was funny, because she answered with saying no; but everything after that was implying yes!
It shouldn't have taken her more than two or three seconds to find an answer; it should have been a solid "yes," without hesitation.
Twas awful to listen to. What a commitment lacking broad. Eeeh, uuuh, ugh, bleeugh... just answer ffs.
That my friend was cognitive dissonance, the reality of truth bumping up against the indoctrination that 'it doesn't matter' or the 'past is the past', the hampster wheel was whirring away in the young ladies head.
Thought the same thing.
I dated a girl in college that slept with several men during the same time period, I was one of them. It was like she was experimenting or something. She was open about it. I ran into her a few years later. She turned red and looked so uncomfortable, and I don't blame her. We both knew what she used to be like. She may have changed, she dressed more modestly. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me. Even if she had completely changed, I would never date her or anyone like her again. The past matters. It affects the present and the future. You don't want to be the last of 75 men in her.
she turned red cause built her new reality where nobody know her past, i guess....a common story
@@andybaubau5961 "Head.. Til your love is red" - Prince
"she dressed more modestly", "I don't blame her". Maybe she looked uncomfortable being judged by you and was looking for a way out.
My problem in the past was hearing their red flags and not believing them, if a woman warns you, listen
Yesss
But doesn't mean its your fault..
@@vladconstantincimpoia4724 I agree but it was my fault for giving her the time after being red pilled but I wanted to hope even tho hope was gone.
@@ElijahPerrin80 Understood. I agree with you, we need to listen the red flags.. I should listen aswell, my mistake. But now i learn and i will be carefull with everything. My first.. Etc. God Bless!
@@vladconstantincimpoia4724 Everything needs a strong foundation, guard that foundation with your life so it may support what you choose to bring in.
Almost every person I know who has been promiscuous has cheated on someone at some point. I only know one non-promiscuous person who has cheated on someone. When they're in that club on their 8th drink, with memories of a recent fight in their head, and a sexy person throws themselves at them, do you want to be with someone who has to resist the temptation to do what they would normally do if they were single or with someone who wouldn't do it anyway?
Absolute wisdom.
You're really spon on here mate. It's easy to slip up when you've had a flight at home. Of course, many of us men are sexual opportunists and also promiscuous. Yes, I'm like that too. That makes me wonder how I can apply double standards to women, even though I know it's significantly easier for women to get sex.
@@borealwoodman It's not a double standard in a moral sense. Promiscuous people are not bad. But men will always experience more sexual jealousy than women and women will always experience more emotional jealousy than men. For millenia the men who weren't bothered about their women sleeping around raised other men's offspring and didn't pass on their genes, and women whose men had feelings for other women got abandoned while pregnant or with young children. Procreation has shaped us. Why do we get jealous at all? It all comes down to biology.
Exactly! That's why regardless of the reason that got her into promiscuity, for me it's a no-no. It's easier for me to resist the temptation to do drugs or smoke because I had never done them in the first place. Now try to test someone who had drug addiction in the past and is trying to change. Yes, they may genuinely be trying but there's something weighing them down... and it's their past. That's just being captain-save-a-hoe. The problem is not that the person may not be attempting to change, is that it's much more difficult to them to resist the urge of doing something they so casually did before. I tell you, you can feel sorry for someone like the girl Alex talks about, though related from but not limited to personal experience, I advise you never to get involved with such women: they are still damaged goods.
@@tomemery7890 That's an interesting distinction between the genders. I was referring to double standard as it's ultimately a choice to sleep with someone. I have chosen to do so opportunistically quite a number of times, so I'm trying to reconcile why I should not accept that she has too. Yes, I do understand that it's easier to relapse if you've already done so with ease in the past, and that it affects the ability to pair-bond. Honest question here, as I think I subscribe to a more nuanced world-view where it's not always black and white (or maybe I'm still very blue).
I had this girlfriend once that come back to me begging for a 2nd chance after afew years that we were apart when i gave her the 2nd chance at first she was fine then as time went on i noticed the old ways coming back and her abuse started again i stopped answering her calls and texts and i will never give her another chance abusive people are abusive people they rarely change.
I'll believe they might have, if they can explain what they did wrong, from their perspective, what motivated them, what became the impetus of their change and what they have done since then that makes them different. Then prove it one day at a time.
I can forgive, but it must be earned. Never in any sort of story have I seen it wise to pass one that can't pass the first test. Just because I can, and they earned it, doesn't mean I will either though, I don't owe it to them.
That and I ain't met one yet that can fulfil what amounts to 'earning it', yet. Learned the hard way too, on that.
Narcissistic hoover
@@mbaksa bingo
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”
blah blah man straight facts‼️
If you’re laying there thinking “that was pretty easy”, you won’t be the last man to think that of her.
Well said!
Susan
So she answered "No, but yes" to the first question.
Lol ok.
Well no, but actually yes
Welcome to talking to women about a topic they deem emotional. All logic goes out the window.
"I'm guilty of this, but I wanna make sure you're not focused on me before I say yes."
she just basically said what alexander said in the video
Whenever you see a red flag, be aware that a parade will follow.
Marc Coutinho Fallacy detected.
Red flag of the parade! xD
Along with the whole marching band. With the clowns that laugh in your face for sticking around and ignoring the flags..!🤡🤡🚩🚩🚩🤯🤦♂️
Bahahahah that's a solid one!
i rarely disagree with you alex, but this is the 4th time i do.
damaged goods dont all of a sudden get better.
if she sleeps around. the damage is done.
Out of curiosity, are you basing that on the Old Testament?
@@technoloverish data supports it
A woman who had >=2 sexual partners carries the same divorce risk as a man who had >=19
@@tamash.5291
Which website did you get that information from?
@@technoloverish i can't remember. Try googling "national survey of family growth" and "wolfinger"
@@technoloverish From personal experience the problem with women who "changed" is that they revert to their past behavior everytime life gives them a bump in the road. Doesn't even have to be related to anything the man did wrong. Sleeping around is the only coping mechanism they've developed as an adult. The so called change is only surface level and they haven't done the inner work to have truly changed.
Women have been judging men in general for the past fifty years, i think it is high time we give them a taste of their own medicine.
Just 50 years?
Woah no hol' up.. only 50? Havent men done it for generations!?!? We should just try to help eachother out instead..
@@joepapa1633 No they have not, Men have been keeping women alive and safe; women whine men do.
@@firelordsusan555 oml.. this topic is outta hand dude, just know that men did the things back then for there own benefit, maybe there were those few men out there that truly did care and did not just see their wife only as an extension of them or as a breeding machine. It's stupid to even say what you just said
I'm not convinced. If she has slept with 100 men, that isn't going to change. She might be a great woman in every other aspect, but I couldn't look past the body count. Fine, I'll be missing out. I accept that. Promiscuity is a red flag that can't be forgiven in my book!
women have an incredible memory when it comes to relationships, and they interpret sex as love, though they have been told many times over that a man can have sex just for the sake, women interpret sex as a man possessing their body in love. so to me a body count of over 3 is beyond repair, ideally 1. look at how baby mamas are so attached to their deadbeats, a single mom with a single body count will be so bitter over the deadbeat or they will miss him so much that no man can take his place in her heart, so how much more damaged is a woman with a body count of 4
why 100? that's too unrealistic. Promiscuity starts at least over 10-20 partners
@@camelio10 It was a high example, I don't think it's unrealistic. Even if we say 30, I still feel that is too high for me to overlook.
@@crimsonite1524 1-6 is pretty normal for mid 20's though
@@danch10 yes, its definitely normal. but its normal because we have normalized the abnormal.
its like how an up and coming male with average looks who is 25, maybe becoming an engineer or something important, may actually be struggling to get a good quality grounded woman, its normal but its only normal because females have normalized the abnormal and counter intuitive in the dating market. in the words of Jesus; "it was not so in the beginning". a promising individual used to be able to pair up and build with a woman until about 40 yrs back. it doesnt make sense for a woman to have slept with 6 guys, its normalized sexual liberation.
People never change. Females from what I’ve noticed say what you want to hear to get what they want.
bingo! they talk to skew your perception to how they want to be perceived, not how they are. you can look a guy in the eye and tell him to be honest and he will most likely be even if it hurts your feelings, but that does not work with a woman. like i always say, if you dont already know the answer or if you dont know how to interpret the code that she will speak in, your question will only be answered later by her actions, thats when you would have gathered knowledge and experience.
Don’t buy it!
Imo I would say *people rarely change.
People do change the inherently change their entire life does that mean drastically know there's tons of their inherent characteristics at their core that remain the dominant expression of everything they do everything after you said people never change is 100% absolutely true from every instance in all of the history I have studied every bit that is involved women whatsoever other than maybe a few High political figures like Margaret Thatcher but I understand exactly what you're saying and I tip my hat and say Godspeed to you sir
Not all women do this and many men do this too. It's not a man/woman problem it's a human problem
She seemed to have been treated unfairly in the past........ OK show me ONE that does NOT have this damn Story ... Good Luck..
is never the women fault, remember they are perpetual victims.
Her being treated badly in past was the cause of her promiscuity rather it is a side effect or by product of promiscuity
When a woman says she's had 2-3 partners before, make that about 5-6 or even 10.
When a man says he's had 5-6 or even 10 partners before, make that 2-3 or even 0.
It adds up 😁
Sadly
Usual rule: for a guy divide number of partners they claimed by 3, for women multiply by 3
@@SPmorality American pie don't lie
@@SPmorality American pie.
I once thought I "missed out" on buying a high quality item that was previously used on ebay. Luckily a month later another one appeared on the market in brand new condition in it's original package.
“Forgiving the unrepentant is like drawing pictures on water” ~Japanese Proverb
The key point here is did someone actually LEARN anything from their mistakes, and have they done the hard work of trying to correct and heal the damage. Many broken people see nothing wrong with how they behave, and you cannot change anyone who does not want to change. Trying to “save” someone who sees no issue with their bad behavior is a good way to ruin your own life. They will just drag you down.
Once a cheater. Always a cheater. Just sayin 🤷🏽♂️. Why would you want to date someone you have to question or are suspicious of all the time? Why put yourself through that mental agony?? Its just flat out not worth it man. Tbh ive slept with several married or engaged women. Many on accident. All but 1 lied to me about being “separated” or not even being married or engaged at all. Looking back on all of it. I regret it all. What i did to my fellow man and how i was part of the problem. It has affected me dramatically. Now everytime im with or dating or talking to a girl. I flat out dont trust them. I always look at rhem with a raised eyebrow. And notice the tendancies in their personalities more often. Now i find myself standing idle for 4 yrs now. Havent went back to the dating scene. Everytime i think i like a woman or am into her. She always does or says something that reminds me of my past mistakes and i always lose interest. Take it from me fellas. DONT be the one she cheats on her dude with. By the tome you get to my age. You will have No trust in any women in general. You literally mentally mind F yourself into avoiding it 24/7. Hell i may have passed up several good women over this. Its like being afriad of being the victim this time and i have cornered myself into a place in which i cannot escape. Its not worth it man. For your mental. Its just not.
Ask the question but _watch_ the behavior.
Team Virgin/Abstinence where you at?
Just because you are forgiven doesn’t mean you don’t have to suffer the consequences. And even though it sucks to judge a woman by he past, nowadays men have to be careful because we have to write a check on that and are responsible and will take most of the blame for the downfall of the relationship and will be held financially responsible and morally responsible so choose wisely men because no one is going to feel sorry for YOU when things go wrong.
That woman shows one of the only signs of genuine change. Humility in admitting her mistake and seeking help on how to grow.
I'm still a virgin and I invest a lot into being as virtuous as I can be. I've found this intimidates promiscuous and low quality women to the point where just being around me makes them feel uncomfortable and "unworthy", however I do not project this on them myself. They observe that I have extremely high standards for myself and know they could never be compatible with me unless they were to also improve themselves, which I do not demand upon them as this is all subconsciously concluded, although true.
This dynamic has resulted in many disappointing relationships. It hasn't mattered that I am very forgiving, understanding, and non-judging, nor that I actively encourage them and try to build their self-esteem. The great contrast in moral character seems to be enough to put them into a self-condemning and destructive mentality. They seem to have a hard time forgiving themselves and taking any sort of responsibility on improvement. It's hard to tell if they even truly desire it. I would say it is akin to just learning how to play a game or some form of art, and the person who is introducing you to it happens to already be very experienced and therefore you immediately feel overwhelmed because you can't imagine ever reaching their level. It can be very discouraging at first, but at the end of the day, the level anyone else is at should never stop anyone from improving themselves on something they wish to be better at, and to see others simply give up is a clear sign of a low self-esteem, avoidant, and defeatist mentality, which is very hard to bring people out of without treating them like children and spoon feeding them encouragement over a long period of time. I'm not saying you shouldn't do this, but my concern is that it is far more likely that they will give up on you in the process, which is a major waste of your time and energy that could have been invested into people who although might need a lot of time and energy too, at least aren't going to give up on you or themselves.
I find that it is better, at least for those who actively improve their virtuosity, to simply pursue other virtuous people and not try to babysit, mentor, or patiently wait for promiscuous people to mature out of their "trial-period" lifestyles. The destruction of such relationships more often than not will be a result of their lack of self confidence rather than anything the virtuous person could have done or not, and therefore there it is nothing more than a chaotic gamble and I imagine that most virtuous people, by nature of being virtuous, would prefer some more control, intention, and responsibility in their relationships. Of course, this will drastically decrease the pool of "compatible" people, but it is worth considering that the more virtuous you aspire to become, the further away from the masses you will venture.
Timohept pray for me, if you pray. It may be unfair but during my relationship with my current girlfriend I have turned away from casual sex with her because of reasons of showing TRUE commitment to each other, differences of opinions on abortion, and other things. The fact is having sex can result in a baby no matter what.
I truly feel that the sex wouldn’t be shallow in the sense that it wouldn’t be casual, but it would still be kinda shallow cuz she acts as if she NEEDS it... I will admit it’s not fair to suddenly change on her like this and want to be chaste, but we have been chaste for 3 months and I’ve never felt closer to her in that time. And she’s mentioned in a lot nicer and genuinely more caring too.
But she misses the “intimacy” of sex, and yes while sex can bond you in a way there are many many other ways to bond, not just sex. I think girls, more than men, a LOT of the time are more convinced that sex is necessary.
I truly love this girl and I’ve never been so committed to someone before. We care for each other deeply and I hate to see her “hurt” by not having any sex... but tbh I don’t think that it hurts her at all... I think that’s just withdrawal from the addiction society enforced on you and fear about not having sex for a longer period of time.
I love her so much but I literally know that any of the success I’ve had in life is due to a higher power for me. I’ve come so far in separating myself from being controlled by my base desires and I just ask for whoever does pray, to pray for me and my girlfriend and our relationship to stay strong and true. For me to stay true to myself and the higher power I believe in, and for my girlfriend to be guided toward a life without dependence on sex for validation or intimacy.
Thank you.
@@drycleanernick7603 God bless Nick. Will pray for wisdom, self control, and a deep rshp for you and your partner.
Samuel Pinches thank you
@@drycleanernick7603 shiva bless u
@@drycleanernick7603 You are in my prayers. Let all of your experiences bring further intimacy to your relationship with God.
I have contemplated on the enormous forces within sexuality and it is my intention never to attempt procreation without first having God's direct blessing in doing so. I also agree with your assessment that she is only feeling the force of withdrawal rather than having a justified "need" for sex. However, it should be understandable that biologically and subconsciously for people to be denied sex would result in fear of unworthiness. Typically the woman will be the one to choose when to give the man the "gift" of sex, but in this case, that power has been denied to her. Subconsciously or even consciously, you might imagine that women may value their own worth based on how much they can milk out of men with hints of potential sex. She probably feels disadvantaged in that she no longer has this power over you. The feminine wants to be wanted, and sex is probably the greatest force that contributes to a feeling of wantedness. Even though you adore her and in all other ways express your desire for her, to not have this physical and sexual expression may be confusing or concerning.
I believe if she was made more conscious of why she feels a need for sex and how the forces of sexuality may affect you and her, she might be more willing to endure and prosper, as you have chosen to do for yourself.
Furthermore, as I imagine you are a spiritual person, I would say that spiritual relationships trump all Earthly ones and only spiritual relationships are everlasting. What I mean by a spiritual relationship is that a spiritual person, meaning they somewhat understand and identify as their spirit, rather than just their body or mind, must manage and experience their relationships with others on the spiritual level, rather than just through body or mind. If you have a spiritual relationship with another, you both understand that you are of near infinite potential and nothing your body or mind ever do could fully represent that which you truly are, and therefore it is very simple to forgive the flesh, and to forgive the mind, as you would forgive a child that knew not what they do. The spiritual self can look down at the Earthly self and be entertained as if watching a movie, or playing a video game, without taking anything too personally and never being fully distracted by true purpose. If you could attain a spiritual relationship with your girlfriend, assuming you have not already, then the issues of sex, as well as all Earthly issues, become a secondary concern which you can both choose to be entertained by rather than tormented by. At this level, you can look back and laugh at your human natures, you can even appreciate your struggles. Insecurities and instinctive behaviors are just mechanics in a video game, to be experienced by a more mature entity that grows and learns from all things. All other relationships, and everything in this alchemetical laboratory, or womb, will ultimately be changed or corrode.
I hope this is helpful and doesn't come off as pretentious wizardry lol.
I met a girl who seemed so innocent, got in deep and red flag signs were showing, ultimately I asked about her notch count, she said 15-20 and I said "eomen cut their number in half" she nodded and got on her knees in front of me almost begging.
Ended up cheating, though I don't have evidence, but she dragged out the breakup until she started saying sorry all the time and seemed like the guilt was eating her
Cheaters can never change, they will always cheat ALWAYS
ALWAYS!!!!
_(A few hours later)_ .. _" _*_No_*_ .. but Yes ,yes very much so"_
Lol
They will never answer those questions honestly, it's a waste of time. Let's be real, how many promiscuous women will change , little to none.
That's the only red flag that disqualifies a potential partner. Let's say she had 10 sexual partners (rookie numbers for western girls, real is 30+), all I see there is 10 failed relationships, inability to commit. And things like that simply don't change.
Alex I'm a big fan of yours and you're usually surgically precise, but this video is totally off.
Lol. And I'm sure the 10+ men she slept with were all gracious angels who wanted nothing but to commit to her. In my experience people with numerous failed relationships just can't seem to grasp the fact that relationships are a two-way system and the person blaming all the failures on the other party is usually just a massive narc.
@@annafidler9011 same goes for men ofcourse, disgusting persons, no excuses. But we speak for females here, since it's way easier for them to have multiple partners, women are choosers at the end
@Dimitri M I'm not going to sit here and divide up what percentage of the 10+ (a number made up by men on this forum btw) men I think a woman sleeps with just for sex and what percentage have the potential to turn into relationships.
I don't think any sane person (man or woman) ever intentionally picks a bad partner, they're usually manipulated into believing that their partner is a good person at the beginning.
For me, sharing my opinion is not about gotcha-ing people but I can tell that you're desperate to gotcha someone...work on your self esteem please.
@dont let me down Sorry you aren't but I know plenty of men who are
@Dimitri M Ooh boy, somebody's triggered! It's OK, your ability to use the bold and italics functions and the word "overarching" (just because something is "overarching" doesn't mean you didn't make it up) have me inspired me to go get some English lessons, I'm forever grateful to you.
I again have to express that I'm a huge fan of your neutral diplomatic approach to these sensitive topics.
It's easily one of his best qualities, always makes his videos seem well thought out and calm and rational
@@hazardousjazzgasm129 Agreed 100%
No hymen, no diamond.
Maintain standards as our ancestors did.
😂
18-25 year old virgin - elseway no diamond.
Dude, we'll all end up alone if we observe those standards.
Vladimyr
Date ‘em. Don’t marry ‘em. Keep your standards for a lifelong commitment.
@@dr.winstonsmith agree with you. id bend the rule as far as ONE previous partner. people make mistakes. but learn.
mine was a virgin.
Once you hit your 30,s , you as a man, should know what to look for in a woman and what the signs of disqualification are. Unfortunately they are far too abundant in today's women.
A red flag is an automatic hard no from me
No thanks I'd rather be with someone who don't have to redeem themselves in the first place
Please guys dont ask a woman her body count directly. Assume it is high! Its better to ask her about her past what things she went through and things she did. Literally her life story will give you a good estimate on how many people (guys and girls) shes been with
@Avery
Great advice.
Deep down females _know_ it matters or they wouldn't all lie about it.
What I call a “pro” advice
I would go further. Woman are generally quite bad at hiding facts. However you have to pay attention to what they say and do. Just look how judge examples of particular behaviors in others to know what they are up to. And then there is the obvious 1000 c*ck stare.
People don't change. They may alter their methods but in their bases, they are still the person they always were.
I was with a lass who I knew had some insecurity issues, but seemed legitimately awesome and willing to improve, and she changed so much in the ways she told me she wanted to. Fast forward about 7 months and she tells me pretty much everything was BS and made us both miserable. I didn't date her, I dated a low effort projection. Listen to Alexander, folks! Wish I found the channel sooner
Good video. But asking her why is likely a complete waste of time. First off , a promiscuous woman or man is highly likely to be a narcissist ( a word most dont understand other than overt narcissists) . So she is going to lie to you. And she/he can lie better than you can breathe. She is going to blame it on low self esteem to avoid shame. In her book" the sociopath next door , Martha stoudt says the universal sign that you may be dealing with a sociopath is that they will appeal to your sympathy. . Plus narcissists are masters at pretending to change. So this will be a " high quality woman " after your conversations. Better strategy is to go painfully slow and hope you can see the mask slip vs. them keeping the mask on longer than you can wait ( a possibly with someone high on the spectrum, a narcissist sociopath or pyschopath). This game you will likely lose as they are masters at gathering information and finding your desires and weaknesses in that same timeline.
Yup Don't get involved deeply or you will pay deeply. Sorry ladies but you don't know how you work. It's all emotion and feelings and then justification for the actions you take based on those emotions and feelings. Then you believe your own lie and get angry when you can't defend it. Men need to understand the harsh reality of how women think and women need to admit it.
If a woman comes to the first dinner date (after we've had the first 3) - and she brings her cell phone to the table, it's turned on - and she sets it at her elbow... I simply get up, point at the phone and say " I see that you already have a date" - and walk out.
On a dinner date - mine stays in the car. I can go check it on the way back from the bathroom if I'm expecting an important call. Rarely. I NEVER check the phone or take a call in front of anyone. If someone does that to me, I walk off and do another chore or find something interesting to look at.
Translation: "Yes it's logical but men shouldn't be logical to protect themselves because it would make things harder for low quality women and that's more important."
2nd date she said to me “mmmm I can’t wait to be pregnant”........ bye Felicia THATS A RED FLAG 🚩
Lmfao
What if she's a chameleon? Women are notorious for being master manipulators..................
Fu Dog Whisperer
Most women are chameleons, luckily for men, it is easy to see through...just ask a few questions where you doubt her.
@@sarahwebster8927 Most women are chameleoons? Does that mean that they sit around plotting. Eg: alex wants a virtuous woman so im going to say x and y so that he thinks im virtuous.
@@wtfvids3472 They're like this specially with a man they really like and want to impress.
I knew young woman, who is her teenage years was very promiscuous, after this, she become very different person. She felt sad about her past and chose a way of valueable woman. Its was red flag, but with her husband she is valueable woman. But if woman is promiscuous in her 25 she has even higher probability of cheating. There is a red flag and big red stop sign for me its promiscuous woman in her 30s.
A wide gulf exists between mistakes and choices. You can make mistakes, but if you keep making the same mistake, albeit in different places with different people or for different reasons, it ceases to be a mistake and becomes a habit. "I know no way of judging the future but by the past..." -Patrick Henry. If you ignore their past, you're being a fool. A promiscuous person who genuinely wants to become someone else will be pained by talking about it. Alex is right about this; if you do decide to be with a woman and if you do intend to marry one, you need to tackle the difficult questions. You need to clear the air and find out, and if you don't like the answer or can't get a good one, like this girl, who has more issues than simply promiscuity, then you should find someone with whom you feel it has a better chance of success. This is one of the most important decisions you can make. Warren Buffett has said the most important choice in getting rich is to find the right woman. Some of them will add to your life; others will insist that you add to theirs. Proceed with caution or take another road if you see red flags.
If she gets offended or defensive or tries to change the topic when you bring up the topic, don't waste your time. Every sexual encounter will be compare to the 100+ she has been with in her mind and the probability to be cheated on is 110%. As he rightly said better be single and celibate that waste you energy on some one like that. Set your standards high ma brothers. Women have high standards when it comes to dating and when you better your self don't settle for no raggedy or low quality women. Get you. Femle with some values.You deserve the best . Peace out ✌🏿
The first girl says, she has friends who had many sexual partners in the past have less committed relationship. But men shouldn't worry about it.
I get where you're coming from, yet the girl you reference has more then just promiscuity as a red flag. Abuse in her past is a huge red flag too. Both her trust in men and her pairbonding mechanism will be severely damaged if not destroyed, and that will come back to bite a future partner in the but. Might be you can overcome it all.. but very likely you cannot. As my wise mom once said about picking a partner: "it's only seldom people really overcome their past". Which ofc is a variant of the well-known "you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but can you take the trailer park out of the girl". I really feel for her, and it's not her fault she was traumatized, but it's a minefield and this sh*t can litterally derail if not completely wreck your life as a man. It is a risk I just wouldn't take, and certainly not with today's "family" courts.
i agree with you. too much of her is damaged goods.
Excellent post Andrew. I've recently been in a very analogous situation and it's heartbreaking, however, look how hard it is to 'change' yourself. Self improvement is very difficult at the best of times and generally the worst the childhood experience the more pathological the behaviours. As men we have a weird hard wired desire to save women but as the song goes goes don't wanna be saved. When you massively invest emotionally in essentially a Captain Save A Ho policy and it eventually and inevitably comes a cropper, it's you that suffers the horrific emotional fall out. This is a selfish but self survival approach. For every one success there's going to be nine heart broken, bitter men. Save yourself and save your children if you have them.
@@modernistmatt2658 indeed. I've seen several friends step into that minefield marrying such girls. None of them came out of it without severe damage.. and most of them eventually came out without that woman they were trying to save. I've also been on this type of track with 2 previous girlfriends, of which I only found out about their past traumas later on.. you can't "fix" them, you can at most help them fix themselves and then only if they recognize the problem is with them and then if want to work on it and then if they want to continue that work till its done. And I've seen far to many of those if if if if if's turn into negatives either sooner or later.
I remember when I was 19 and was dating a girl, whom I asked about the numbers.
She referred the question back to me
- Well, how many have you been with?
- X
- Oh, my count is X + 3.
- Are you sure?
- Actually...
Maybe X * 3
ONS doesn' counts ? Right ? Hey !!
Why are ypu running ?
Modern society has taught women to compete with a man. A promiscuous woman sees that as emulating what a man does and somehow makes her equal in that regard....nothing is further from the truth!
@@benjaminstarks6615 So true. The game is more competitive than ever. Generally, its still easier to tempt a man with sex (quicker) instead of virtue (not instant). Tempting with virtue in a competitive game might be an inefficient use of time if its about winning that 'prized high quality' man. That woman was trying to take herself out of the question by focusing on the 'friends.'
Shouldn't a 'high quality woman' temp with virtue? Shouldn't a 'high quality man' look for virtue?
2:40 I really enjoy the empathic way you work. It makes me feel that I need to work more in my own empathic sense as a male. Thanks.
1.I dont think having a heart to heart or being her therapist and talking about why she is promiscuous would solve anything. it might bring you closer but if you were promiscuous and now want to be high quality, the bottomline *will always* be proving your committedness and trustworthiness through your actions.
2.Then also the fact that she is concerned about her past actions potentially disqualifying her from finding a high quality partner. this implies the change to want to be high quality is just to attract high quality men. not to be high quality for herself and have high quality men as a byproduct. this is not high quality female behavior i'm sorry..
While you do make some good points, I believe your vast capacity for empathy is getting the better of you here. As someone with experience of abuse in childhood it's a HUGE red flag at that age. It takes a whole lot of time and or therapy before you should even be considering relationships or you run the very real risk destroying the life of someone you love, and your own in return.
Or even if you are over it, if women get ahold of the fact that you had a history of childhood abuse, chances are she’ll use it as a weapon against you to demonize and vilify you.
I would know....
"if you see a red flag you need to do some probing"
Classic 😂
To me, red flags are definite disqualifying factors for women. There are lots of women out there. There is no scarcity, or if there is, move to where there isn't. A woman's past is the most important factor, not something to be trivialized away. Women who are promiscuous, can be great for a fling, but they will likely eventually being disloyal. If they are a single mother, run! Lastly, the dna of ex lovers is literally embedded in the women, even in the brains of women. You are the sum of your past.
I completely agree with everything in this video. I've had girlfriends and potential love interests that had red flags (some of them involving a promiscuous past) but those women had so much more going on for them that I was able to overlook those flags without completely ignoring them. That's important - finding your comfort zone with the red flags without completely neglecting them or what they may potentially become in the future. I've had 2 exes that implied to me that they used to be "a party girl" (like many women they were speaking in euphemisms to avoid the harsh truth) and had recently gotten out of that phase, and it was clear to me both times that it was a topic they were both uncomfortable giving details about, probably even felt a little shameful about it too. I interpreted that kind of talk as a sign of growth and improvement, which I found admirable. And at the time both of these women were in their early-mid 20s, which is not a bad time to be waking up from this lifestyle. If I think a woman is genuine about changing and improving herself and showcases the kind of intellectual and emotional maturity I deem necessary in a partner, I can forgive the red flags.
I believe the feeling shame act is exactly that, almost all women know men are repulsed by high body counts. So if a girl whose interested in you knows that it may be impossible to hide her rep so they adopt the mea culpa act. I don't believe that most feel any regret but they understand how harmful it is to their chances of securing an LTR or more.
Your not wrong, but please go into the relationship subreddit and read about the future you risk with such women. They can be great people, no doubt about it, but stable wife material they are not
Actually great advice for both genders in relationships regarding the "red flag"
@Calamity manipulation runs in human nature and on the rise with on line dating apps etc. I am very tried n true in relationships and have run into manipulators repeatedly.
@@bettinakatsaros8719 just a question I apologize in advance how many men you been with as in slept.
@@zarhun7 classic deal: a WOMAN telling us MEN her problems are “no problem”. Sure, you should always believe the addict ;)
You should interview both men and women...would be interesting to see the contrast.
Simple double standards. If men have standards then it's misogyny but feminists having standards is empowered. It's the same kind of discrimination / racism that was based on religion (muslims and christians against other religions) or ethnicity (colonials vs colonized people). Typical discriminatory bs. It will be phased out and trolled like any other discrimination in the near future.
No bro. You are not in a position to play psychologist with a woman. Guys shouldn't waste their time with promiscuous women and try to figure why they are the way they are. Write them off. There's other women.
No you don't. There are enough quality women out there (maybe not that many) if she has been promiscuous its over. Even if she repents the damage is done. Promiscuity cannot be undone. Its over.
You can hook up with them, but a relationship is a suicide.
@@2fiafisdoafw34 you are literally just making the problem worse then...
Well I wish this young woman the best but regardless of how sincere she seems now I don't really buy it. Women are guided by their feelings which can change in an instant and all this self-reflection will be for nothing. I tried to stay friends with my ex-girlfriend from high school after I broke up with her after cheating on me. She did all the usual promises to improve and how she wanted to be a better person and find a good man (but not me) however after only roughly 2 months she met some bartender and then went on a c--k rampage throughout the summer. Then had the nerve to try to get me back when winter was rolling around and she was feeling lonely again. Needless to say, I declined. I was blue-pilled AF back then but I wasn't THAT stupid.
It's always "girls i know" but never "me"
I do have a problem with expecting an honest answer from a woman when you ask these "hard" questions. Too many times, they will respond with the "canned" answers that their girlfriends feed them. I think it'd be rare for a woman to be self-aware enough to answer that she did it because of her low self-esteem, or because her father left her, etc. Maybe Alex could answer how we could get past these easy, unrevealing answers to get to the core of their personality.
you need to lay a beat down on her to have good answer😂😂🔪🔪
Coping mechanism for dealing with stress (discomfort)
Is the behaviour someone adopts in the early years of their lives.
For someone it is constant working, they could not stand still.
For others is resignation, they go towards depression, alcohol, pills, drugs in order to deal with their low dopamine levels.
For others it is escapism ,they quit very easily, don't persist with effort to overcome difficulties.
Fight, flight or freeze!
If someone deals with adversity by jumping from one partner to another seeking validation, attention, wanting only the honeymoon times, not addressing the core issue and behaviour and not accepting the "good" together with the "bad" in relationships .... it is hopeless, by the first moment of struggle they will want to jump in someone arms for comforting.
It is a learned, acquired behaviour.
No shame, no blame, it is the only appropriate action they can do based on their knowledge and awareness at that moment.
Friend: Look at all those red flags.
Me: But red is the colour of love.
haha
Yet again you explain things I know by heart but never quite found words for. You're doing mankind a fantastic and much needed service by your videos.
I would recomend her to act like she was an alcoholic, handle that past pomiscuous behavior like alcoholism, avoid everything that can cause yourself to fail into promiscuity again, thats the best way to do it, stop looking for validation from strangers, stop going to bars and clubs, if you have promiscuous female friends with bad habits, stop hanging out with them, thats how a Woman can change for the best,
Ask the right questions like:
"Are you a feminist?"
---if she says yes and has a very strong opinion about it... Then thats a red flag 🤷♀️
I agree, if you're bothered by her being a feminist don't waste her time, either.
No woman will ever agree about her promiscuous past as she is afraid of being judged.
Very good points in this vid, more like this bro
"Is it common for a woman to have regrets if she sleeps with a man too quickly" ..... woman: yes but not for me no, and all the women I know, no. but all other women yes. .......logic right there
1:03 Business Schoolers heavily sweating
If she's ashamed of it, why would she necessarily tell you the full truth?
When a woman says they slept with 3 men in their lives , add 2 zeros to the 3 and you`ll have your answer 300
is this true?
I personally am not a fan of shaming someone for their past but at the same time for me personally i couldn't be with someone who had too many sexual partners because it would always be in the back of my mind. and as someone who would like to have his own family if i were to ever be in that situation, i think having a promiscuous past wouldn't be the best person to start a family with.
Its really each to their own some men it wont bother but others it will bother.
Here is something to think about. If a woman receives semen she is taking in the DNA of that man. Doesn't matter that she didn't get pregnant. The sperm burrows into the tissue and enters the blood stream. It doesn't disappear. Doctors in St Petersburg, Russia found in autopsies that women who never had children or abortions were found to have male DNA in their brain. What effect does that have on a woman's ability to pair bond? What effect does it have on children that you have with her?
She should be the one to start this conversation and she should make it clear why and how she will not repeat that behavior with you.
tried your method but it didn't work. red flags are red flags and she will never change.
This is sensible advice and a good response to the feminist claim at the start.
Maybe an extra thing to consider is what kind of man you are yourself, if you are more promiscuous it will probably be easier to understand a promiscuous woman. If there is a big disparity in the relationship where the guy has had much fewer partners or none it may not work in the longer term.
This.
Women can find a good man regardless of their history... But they had better look for the male version of themselves.
A high body count woman should not try to be with a virgin man... He will always regret him lack of exploration, in contrast to the fun she had.
But with a high body count man... They both know what the world is like, and can be happy together.
this is golden. The why's be the most important. Once you're sure she's not the same person/is working on herself, commit
My ex was a case of *misleading him until he is trapped* but I'm good now. Alone and stronger than ever baby
Then is "yellow flag" bruh😂
Man... This advice im getting from your videos is so great!!! Happy to be a follower of this channel thanks a lot.
I think I saw a comment on this topic that went like this: "It's not that you are the one, it's just that it's your turn"
a key that can unlock any door is an amazing key. A door that will unlock for any key is a shitty door.
Men fall in love with women. Women fall in love with fantasy. Usually doesn't work out.
"No hymen, no diamond" mentality can be sometimes misleading. We need to take into account that today's parents don't teach chastity to their kids (girls AND boys). They are told that sleeping with your gf/bf is something normal or natural.
I have few female friends. They are not virgins because they have slept with their bfs (their number is 1-2). They are not premiscuose AT ALL and would make wonderful wives and mothers. Are kind, generous, pretty, hard-working, very feminine...but not virgins. Because they were never told that. We need to take into account this factor too.
For instance, I am Muslim living in Europe and we (boys and girls) were told by our parwnyd and society that pre or extramarital sex is wrong. My siblings and I all are virgins. Where you are born can make a big difference.
*Note:* I am talking about MY friends. This doesn't apply to all girls. I know many girls (and boys) who are premiscuose thus not marriage material. Every case is different (exactly what Alex is saying in the video).
@@muskokamike127 i agree there are women who lie about their "number", but not all women. I know them for years. And you can pretty much tell if someone is lying looking at their lifestyle: my friends don't party or drink; had their first sexual encounter quite late (18+); don't have social media; still live with their both parents (are 23) and have an amazing relationship with them.
I have an Ex who would play down any sort of infidelity. Always just as much as evidence supported. The leading ones were "He's just a friend", "It was just a joke" or if evidence was stronger "We only had sex once and it was your / my exes fault" always followed by "You're so jealous/ controlling, everyone else sees it that way except you". Until a female would just smile at me or dare a joke, then I was a cheating a hole for allowing a woman to smile at me. Turns out she is a serial cheater. And her "I really like him as a friend" or "it was just a joke", 99% of the time was hiding an affair. So since people always project, she got extremely controlling / jealous and outright mental when one of her boyfriends would talk about a just friend or that a coworker / friend joked with him. She'd go into a rage burst and accuse the guys of being cheaters over insignificant things and then cheat as "revenge" and blame the guys. And when it would all be said and done, she'd consider it "even" when he had someone smile at him and she did revenge of some sort. And it was always someone else's fault, she is a damsel in distress, poor, naive victim that someone else lead to such bad decisions. Grade A narcissist.
dude how can he be so accurate. he did all the fking math a mans life need
That girl that reached out to you is most likely trying to leanr how to move under the radar. Sincerity does not equal genuine and people rarely paint themselves as responsible for their own misgiving. They'll blame others for THEIR BEHAVIOR . Not buying it🤷🏿♂️
Yes! Besides, like someone said here in the comments section, when push comes to shove: do you want to be with someone who has to resist the temptation of doing something they'd normally do if they were single or with someone who wouldn't do it anyway?
That's why regardless of the reason that got her into promiscuity, for me it's a no-no. It's easier for me to resist the temptation to do drugs or smoke because I had never done them in the first place. Now try to test someone who had drug addiction in the past and is trying to change. Yes, even IF they may genuinely be trying but there's something weighing them down... and it's their past. That's just being captain-save-a-hoe. The problem is not that the person may not be attempting to change, is that it's much more difficult to them to resist the urge of doing something they so casually used to do before. I tell you, you can feel sorry for someone like the girl Alex talks about, but from though not limited to personal experience, I advise you never to get involved with such women: they are still damaged goods.
How unusual! Women with previous partners must be appalling, but men in the same position are totally acceptable. What a crock!
Like should aim for like.
A heavily used woman, who has enjoyed her sexuality... Should not expect to happily marry a virgin man. He will always resent her carefree sexual years compared to his sexually restrained years.
Same for woman.
A female virgin will always have performance anxiety about her man's previous sexual partners.
So find a man with your same background, and you will have better odds.
Well said!
The way I see it, I see a promiscuous woman getting lower quality guys, despite her genuinely wanting to be better, as a consequence for her mistakes that she has to face.
The best example is ex-p-stars. They cannot get a reliable partner because of their past, it doesn't matter if they are genuine about quitting or not.
One does not fully recover from his mistakes.
I'm an old guy, in my 50s, but the content here from a younger guy is excellent. Alexander's age means little to me, except that he's more in touch with dating and relationships today vs when I was his age in the last century.
In my experience, almost any woman 18-30 always had several partners and one night stands. If she hadn't, I'd wonder why. A rough rule of thumb for me has been 6-8 partners, maybe a little more, is normal by age 30. More than that tells me she couldn't form long-term relationships or she simply preferred sleeping around. I wouldn't judge her as a person/friend (maybe with benefits) for that, but it's a red flag if you're seeking something long term. She's established her preferences and habits, and expecting her to change who she is is not realistic. Men are biochemically different, but women who sleep around lack the ability to form long term bonds. That's science, not simply my experience.
Damn Alex, thats a really really good video. You are putting much thought into your videos.
Would be nice to have a series like
"subtle "under the radar" questions to ask woman to find out if she is worth the investment"
You are great at finding the right questions Alex👌
Actually if microchimerism is true in the context of sexual partners - which is rather unlikely - then yes, you can't wish away your promiscuous past no matter how much you regret it. Its like youth and beauty, the older the woman gets, the less value she will have as a partner. This can't be undone. Promiscuity is the same if microchimerism is real, if it isn't, I guess you can get over it, but you better truly repent and it is more likely that you don't.
You've got the right idea of the term. Totally agree with it.
The term red flag is from racing. If a crash occurs on the course, the red flag goes up, warning drivers to anticipate an accident ahead and to slow down accordingly. The race doesn't stop, it's just on hold until the wreckage can be cleared. So its not a sign that says "race over, go home", it's a sign that says "be careful, danger ahead".
Eh? A red flag in motor racing means they're stopping the race. The yellow flag means slow down and be careful...
Most of the women won't tell the truth about their past
I don't agree nor disagree with this video... There are some good points, but, engaging also increases your risks, because by having these conversations chances are greater that you yourself get more attached. That will only make it harder to dump her afterwards, if it turns out that she's not who you thought she was.
Also, as we've seen in many of the videos on this channel, women's words are not consistent nor reliable. The reason why many people see red flags as immediate deal breakers, even though it can be seen as extreme, is because people will often do what they think will keep you happy or satisfied. And the red flag is generally something that slips through that makes you go "hmm...".
There are different types of red flags. Regarding the amount of past sexual partners, many of her answers can be seen as a red flag. If you ask her how many she's been with, and she casually responds "Oh more than 10", like that's normal, that's a red flag. If she throws out any 'low' number but she seems uncomfortable, that's also a red flag. If she immediately says she's a virgin, that's can also be a red flag. None of these are an immediate reason to dump a woman, and the digging is indeed the best course of action.
But if she tells me she's a feminist for example, that is a huge enough red flag for an almost immediate dump. It means that she's either manipulative, or that she's ignorant. Even though women have more of a herd mentality than men, in some cases I simply cannot accept it, and feminism is one of them.
I guess it boils down to common sense, on what you can and can't accept, and that's up to you to determine.
I do not care what anyone says about the matter, if someone I meet has had more than around 5 partners, I will walk away... I'd rather be lonely than have a used woman!
I think we can do the same work for us as an instrospection to be prepared for an eventuel relationship.